WEBVTT - Fight Night 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:04.960 Ladies and gentlemen, if you have a young son that's 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:09.360 gonna come a point in their life when they think 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:13.480 they can beat you. For me, that time has come. 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.880 It was about to be dead ass somewhere y'all in 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:22.160 this house. But baby, I could have used a warning 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:26.400 because as a mom to boys who's never been a 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:29.760 boy or a man, that caught me all the way 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:30.320 off guard. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:33.360 And I'm not gonna lie. I was a little scared. 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:34.960 Dead ass. 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.720 Hey, I'm Kadan and I'm Devo and we're the Ellis's. 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.840 You may know us from posting funny videos with our. 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:47.040 Boys and reading each other publicly as a. 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:47.839 Form of therpy. 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:51.760 Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow. 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:54.520 Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married. 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:55.120 Yes, sir, we are. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:58.440 We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:01.200 li's most taboo topics. 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:02.880 Most folks don't want to talk about. 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:05.000 Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.119 is a term that we say every day. So when 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:11.000 we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:13.920 the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.399 Were about to take philotof to our whole new. 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:20.880 Level dead ass starts right now. 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:26.720 Story time. So take you out back to a couple 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:27.440 of weeks ago. 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:33.200 Me and Kay go to a basketball game and Jackson 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:35.800 is not playing like his normal self. He seems a 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:40.080 little bit like timid. Right, little did we know that 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.720 he was suffering from the hip injury. He didn't tell us, 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:46.039 But he's playing a little timid. So I had seen 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.840 some things during his play, even engaging with him and 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:50.440 the kids afterwards. 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:50.960 I didn't like. 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:55.200 So I go to talk to him about it in 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.800 the car and then he's being quiet, He's gonna say nothing. 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:01.560 We come home later on that day and he avoids 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:05.520 me the whole four hours. So don't I don't like that? Like, 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.680 I just don't like that if we have an issue. 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:10.200 As a man, you have to learn how to face 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:15.240 your issues. You can't run from confrontation. So the kids 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.880 had went to bed, and remember Jackson had went to bed, 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:19.560 and I said, did he go to bed without saying 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:22.200 good night to me? I'm like, so he really trying 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:24.360 to avoid me that much? So I called him on 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:25.919 his phone. I said, that's the type of time you want. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:27.919 He said, what I said, You You're gonna go to 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:29.359 sleep and not say good night to me. We say 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:30.720 good night every night. You can go to sleep without 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:31.280 saying good night. 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:31.560 Cool. 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.600 Since you want to be like that, you stay on 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:36.400 your side of the house. I stay on my side. 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:38.760 Don't ask me for nothing, don't tell me nothing. I 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:40.760 don't care. You do whatever it is you want to 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:41.840 do since we can't talk. 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:46.320 Right. So then he says cool, So now I'm even 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:46.840 more mad. 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:49.160 Right, Oh, he's his mother's child. 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:51.480 So I call him back and I said, cool. So 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.000 you just gonna be a little bit right, Cool, that's 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:55.840 you cool with that? You're just not gonna face Well, 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:57.320 he said, what you want to I don't know what 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:59.480 to say. I'm not gonna just stand in your face 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:02.920 like a poop. But so I said, all right, you 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:04.680 better have something to say when I come upstairs. 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.119 I just got done working out. I'm pissed, right, So 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:09.560 I go upstairs. 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:12.480 To talk to him like a normal person does, but 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:15.280 I'm mad. Go up the stairs, go up the first 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:17.280 flight of stairs from the man cave. I get to 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:19.760 the second flight to get us upstairs, and he's staying 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:21.880 at the top of the stairs. And then when I 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:23.880 get like midway through the stairs, he comes down and 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.880 he stops me. He's like, what you mean, Like, watch 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:28.640 when I come upstairs? What you're supposed to mean? So 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:30.160 at first I'm like, Jackson, get up my face, and 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:32.760 I push him up the stairs and he like gets 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:34.120 to the top of the stairs. And then when I 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.720 get there, he like pushes me back. So I'm like, 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:39.800 I'm like, oh word, I'm like, this is what we're 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.960 doing now. So you're trying, okay, good. So I'm like, fine, 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:44.480 you want to fight, put your hands up. So then 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:46.240 he put his hands up and I'm like, oh, he really, 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:48.960 he really well, he's really trying to go toe to 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:50.920 toe right now. So he put his hands up. The 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.120 first thing I do is sweep them, right, I sweep them. 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.560 After I sweep them, he falls. 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:56.680 On the floor. But no, no, no, that's all of 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:59.320 the that's all you heard. The ain't in it. 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:01.440 Right after he falls on the floors to get up 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:03.040 since you know so much, right, So I got look 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:05.400 in his eyes and he just jumps right back up. 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:07.480 So now I push him in his room, right. I 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:08.960 push him in his room, and he got his hands 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:11.080 up right, So I throw a little jab right, a 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:14.280 little quick jab right. He weaves it weaves it throws 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:15.839 a jab back at me. I said, oh, you're really 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:18.000 trying to throw bros at me right now? So then 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:20.360 I grab him right and we tussling with each other. Right, 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:21.920 So I throw him on the floor and I got 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:23.400 my elbow in his chest right, and I'm. 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:24.560 Like, you think you could beat me? You really think 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:26.640 you could beat me? Right? Then I hear don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:28.760 don't don't me. 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:33.200 Me and Kay run upstairs, right, So I got my 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.599 elbow on Jack's right, and I'm like, yo, go back downstairs. 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:39.479 Were good, we're good. And then Kadeen is like, y'all 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:40.120 don't look good. 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:42.320 Just don't look good to me. And I'm like, we're good, 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:45.560 go back downstairs. So then I let Jackson up and 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:47.560 Kate looks at Jack. Jacks goes, yeah, mom, we just 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:49.880 slapbox and we fine. So Kate looks at me, don't 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:52.640 say nothing. Then she looks at Jack, don't say nothing, 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:53.880 Me and him breathing mad heavy. 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:54.719 You forgot me me? 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:56.360 Oh no, I didn't forget me and me I didn't 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.320 get to me me yet. So then I go go ahead, 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:02.200 go back downstairs. I go to close the door, me 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.080 me busting the door booth. No, dudes, I'm not letting 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:05.560 you do this. 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:09.000 I'm like, let me do what. I'm like, me me. 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:11.280 Now I'm getting real upset and I'm screaming me, me 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.920 go back downstairs, like this is between me and my son? 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.280 Is my house? Go back downstairs? I see me me 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.160 she thought. She she's throwing her hands. 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:22.240 I like what, okay? 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:25.880 Me, Me goes downstairs. I go to close the door. 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.799 Kate push the door open again. Now I'm getting upset. 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:30.719 I'm not even upset at Jackson. No more, I'm upsetting 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:34.680 them too. I'm screaming, Kate, go downstairs, leave me with 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:36.680 my son. She's like, no, I'm not leaving. Like there, 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:39.280 y'all don't seem okay. I said, we're fine, right, So 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.520 I closed the door. After I close the door, I 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:44.240 turn around, Jackson is still standing there with his hands up. 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:47.360 So I said, what's up? So you want some what's up? 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:48.480 So? 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:52.360 Now I go form tackle him. He grabs me right, 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:55.479 he gives me two like quick rib shots. Huh huh. 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:56.760 So I punch him in the stomach. 0:05:56.760 --> 0:05:57.039 Boom. 0:05:57.080 --> 0:05:59.880 He buckles over. He gets up, We grabbing each other. 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:02.280 He gets me in a headlock. At this moment gets 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:04.680 me in a headlock. I said, this is a moment 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:08.680 where I can either end my son's confidence and I 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.919 can body slam him through the floor and probably be 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:15.359 downstairs with y'all, or I could tap out. I chose 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:19.680 to tap out, and I'm going to explain after we 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:23.320 come back from a commercial break, everything that was going 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:24.040 on that day. 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:29.480 You guys, perspective of what I saw. Karaoke time karaoke. 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:30.440 So being is on from Brooklyn. 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.920 It's only right that I sing the song that relates 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:37.280 to what was going on in the house. What's beef 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.279 Beef is when you need to cast to go to sleep. 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:43.400 Beef is with your mom means stay up in the streets. 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:46.840 Beef is when I see you, guaranteed you be yet 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:48.640 I see you one more time. 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:49.400 What's beef. 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:52.880 Beef is when Mimi come upstairs trying to sleep, not 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:54.839 your mad busting in the door. 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:55.640 We got heat. 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:59.119 Beef is when I see Mimi telling me to stop 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:01.640 hitting their kids. 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:09.359 Night so much been and you know me, me and 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:10.320 I are allergic to. 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:13.440 The cow, so we wasn't having it. We wasn't having it. 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:14.760 All right, We're going to discuss it. 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:15.640 Yeah, yeah, boo boo. 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:17.360 Let's go pay some bills to come back so we 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:20.800 can unravel this fight night at the Yellen's house. 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:25.679 All right, So we're back. 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:29.120 I'll give you guys his perspective on story time, and 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:31.440 you know, from his point of view everything that was happening. 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:33.760 So I'll let you guys know when I take it 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.600 back to the basketball game. For those that don't know, 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:39.480 there's it's been a while since DeVos actually attended a 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:42.720 basketball game that Jackson has played in main reason being 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:44.760 Jackson was on all these different teams and had so 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:47.280 many different games, and aside from just not being able 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:50.040 to make every single game, there was a level of 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:54.240 anxiety that Jackson felt, I think when he would see 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:56.440 you in the audience, because there's the pressure of wanting 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:59.680 to make Dad proud and wanting to deliver and everything 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:02.040 that they talk about it and they practice. Devau wants 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:03.680 to see it in the game, and if he doesn't 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:05.880 see it in the game, Jackson knows it's going to 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:09.400 be a long car ride home with debriefing and unhashing 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:11.800 what happened. So Devall hadn't been to a game for 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:14.360 a long time, so at this particular game, devall felt 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:16.440 like man Jackson was playing kind of Timody wasn't doing 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:19.120 this thing. So you had, you know, conversations with him 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.600 after the game and then in the car ride home 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.800 and you know there's that long about to get home, 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.880 fifty minute drive. Yeah, you know, talking about all the 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:30.880 things that should have, could have, would have done. And 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:33.920 so I already knew that there was going to be 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:36.120 some kind of contention, but I'm like, it's normal, that's 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:37.200 what happens after game. 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:41.280 All good, until fast forward to that evening. 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.440 I see that Jackson was kind of staying away from 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:45.520 Deval throughout the day. But I'm like, you know what 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:48.200 that was. That was previous, kadid that was Kadian behavior. 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:51.200 Like I would be Deval, and I previously would be 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:54.400 in you know a little kerfuffle, and then I would 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:56.680 just try to just stay away cleaning everything. 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.000 Why do you clean in the vacuum, Kadi? Who you 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:00.680 ever seen somebody clean the vacuum. 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.760 I do clean my vacuum regularly, sir, thank you. But yeah, 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:05.480 it's just like I just don't want that kind of heat. 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:07.600 I don't want that energy. Let things cool down for 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:10.320 a bit. So Jackson was definitely just on his side 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:13.319 of the house, Devol on this side. So it's towards 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:14.680 the end of the night, the boys are in bed 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:16.640 for the most part. Jackson is still up getting ready 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:18.760 for bed, and I see Devao just worked out. So 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:21.920 now imagine he's leaving the gym downstairs. He's hot, he's sweaty, 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.760 he's breathing heavy. He's just like going upstairs. I'm thinking 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.240 to the shower. I was in that moment and got 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.520 turned all the way off real quick, in a matter 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:30.680 of like three minutes. 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:30.920 Sorry. 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.319 So I see him coming up all sweaty or whatever, 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:35.040 like Okay, I'm gonna take a shower. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:36.000 So I'm like, okay, cool. 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:37.800 So I went downstairs, checked to make sure all the 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.200 doors would locked, put the alarm on and whatnot, and 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:40.600 then I. 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:45.480 Hear like like like fumbling, you know, like fumbling upstairs. 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:47.120 So I was like, what is that? 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.880 So for a split second, I was just like, I 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:51.439 did not The last thing I thought was it was 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:55.760 jacksone Devou. I'm thinking somebody either fell devout, caught an 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.120 intruder in the house. Like There's all these things going 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:01.280 through my mind, but never that Val and Jackson are fighting. 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:03.560 So I'm at the bottom of the stairs as I 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:05.200 come upstairs, and I look up and I see the 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:09.000 two of them in the balcony area, like literally going 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:09.560 back and forth. 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:10.200 They're tussling. 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:13.680 So I'm standing there for a second confused because I'm like, 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:16.720 are they slap boxing or are they really fighting? But 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:20.559 I saw the type of energy Develle left the gym with, 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.080 so I'm like, is he really like fighting Jackson now? 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.800 And I see Jackson fighting back, And as I'm standing 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:28.080 there in my mind all of these things kind of playing, 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:30.760 I see my mom come around the corner because now 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:33.720 she hears the altercation going on, and then she looks 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:34.400 at me, and she. 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:36.280 Looks up and she looks back at me, and she's like, 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:38.920 you're just gonna stand there. You're just gonna stand there. 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.520 And I'm like, I'm trying to figure out what's happening, 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:45.360 That's what I say to her. So she's like bolting 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.120 up the stairs at this point, and I'm running behind 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:50.160 her because I also know my husband, and I also 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:52.559 know that he's probably not gonna take kindly to her 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:55.480 interjecting with whatever they have going on, whether it's a 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:57.720 fight or not, and I was just like, Ugh, this 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.480 is probably gonna go bad. So I go upstairs and 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:02.360 at this point, my heart is pounding because I'm like, oh, 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.040 they're legitimately fighting. And I've never seen this in our house, 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.319 Like Deval's never lifted a hand to me or the boys. 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:09.040 We don't spank our kids. Like this is just. 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:12.200 Completely out of left field in my opinion. So we 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:14.920 go upstairs and, like Deval says, him and Jackson are tussling. 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.200 I open the door and I'm like, it's everything okay, 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.320 Like what's going on? And he's like, we're fine. In 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:22.480 my eyes still from my vantage point, they don't look fine. 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:25.080 Deval looks like he's seeing red. Jackson is over there 0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:28.000 with his hands up, he's sweating. I'm like, what's happening. 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:29.800 Then Mom is just like I'm not gonna let you 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:31.679 do this because Mom in her mind is like, oh 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:35.320 my god, they're actually fighting. We've never in our household fall. 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:37.120 We don't come from a house of fighting. We don't 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.480 come from a family of fighting. That's one thing Deval 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:41.199 said he used to do with his brother and stuff 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:43.360 when they were in the streets to Brooklyn. I was 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:44.280 not like raised that way. 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:46.640 We saw it all the time, like that was me 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:48.800 and my brother fought in the house, yep, and we 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:53.000 fought outside with each other against people like it didn't matter. 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:56.120 Me and my brother could be like not talking that odd. 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.160 Somebody says something to my brother and this beef is 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.440 on right and it's me and my brother against everybody. 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:02.560 Everybody always, but. 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.839 They used to we're not accustomed to that because we've 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:06.880 never had to do that. However, there were moments when 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:08.960 Deval had to jump in and help my brother or 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:10.800 whatever if my brother like one tid my brother had 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:12.679 gotten his chain snatch or something like way back in 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:15.520 the days and was developed. 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.120 Got in my car and I'm going in the type 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:22.400 of time. That's what it is. 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.720 Moral of the story. Don't ever roll up on de Val, y'all. 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:29.320 No, okay, so let me let me finished finish. Yeah. 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:31.800 So in that moment, we were just very like shocked 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:33.679 because we didn't know what was happening. Devalo died and say, 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:35.480 you're about to go upstairs the slap box, Jackson, because 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:36.640 I've seen them slat box before. 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:38.000 The kids all know how to fight. 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.360 Deval has been training them, like it's what they do 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.640 but in that moment, given all of the prior, you know, 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:47.160 things that happened throughout the day, I just didn't know 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:48.839 what was happening in this moment, and it came to 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.360 a head and to me in the worst way. And 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.199 I never wanted to see you and Jackson having any 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:56.240 kind of physical altercation, nor my mom. But then you 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:59.400 explained to me afterward was what happened, and I understood. Then, 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:01.280 well we can take it from there. 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:05.400 There are many nuances to nuances to everything. The biggest 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:09.240 thing is Jackson is a very polite, kind kid, right, 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.280 and he's also a very privileged kid because of who 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:15.440 his parents are. Because of that and because of what 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.600 he wants to do in his life, Jay and I 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:21.559 put him in environments and in surroundings where everybody's not privileged, 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.959 because that's not the world. So I'm not gonna have 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:29.160 Jackson only play basketball or play sports in our neighborhood. 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:32.800 No, we are going to the places where I grew up. 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:34.640 He goes to the park to play. 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:37.079 Ball in Brooklyn, when we go to Ta Cobb County 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.280 out here, when we in Georgia to play ball, like 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.400 we go everywhere he goes to ote, he plays ball. 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:45.520 But what he has to understand is that there are 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:49.400 people who are watching you who automatically assume, because you're privileged, 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.640 that you're gonna be soft. And there are gonna be 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:53.360 people who are gonna see the things you have and 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.719 they're going to take or try to take from you 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.280 because they feel like, one, you don't have the mental 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:02.280 fort two to fight back, or streets marts, or they're 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:05.080 gonna feel like he don't really need it anyway, so 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.920 if I take it, he won't care. And I'm trying 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.440 to empower my kids to realize that, like, yo, you 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.360 don't have to take that from people. My dad told 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:16.160 me when we moved to Kanarsi. We moved to Narciti 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.959 in nineteen ninety three, the third black family to move 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:21.880 to Kanarsi when it was mainly Jewish and Italian and 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:23.240 we were considered privilege. 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.480 Growing up in Brooklyn, we were considered house kids. 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:27.800 So when we would go to the park in Bayview 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.280 or Brookline, people used to fuck with us, and me 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.160 and my brother used to have to fight because they're like, oh, 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.800 this goes to house kids. So I got used to 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.400 having to stand my ground and also put hands on 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:41.880 people in that type of energy. So especially when you 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.000 live in Kannarsi, but you go to school in Flatbush. 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.760 My brother goes to school in Marine Park. Sheep said, Bay, 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:48.920 you know what I'm saying. You get on the bus 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.480 at eleven, you may come across somebody who may try you. 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:54.840 So I've always trying to teach my sons to always 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.880 be confident enough to not have to fight, but show 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.800 people confidence that they don't try you. But if you 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:05.760 need to fight, you could put somebody down. That's always 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.160 been the less So on this day, I just didn't 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:12.320 like Jackson's demeanor because I felt like other kids were. 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.760 Of course, he's also we have him playing up, so 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.800 he's the only twelve turn and thirteen year old who's 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:19.840 playing with fourteen. 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:22.280 Fifteen year olds who hasn't like scratched the surfaces. 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:23.560 He's no puberty yet. 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:25.600 So I see them little brother in him a little 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.520 bit right, and I see that he's in that position where, well, 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.160 these are guys I look up to because they're also 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.320 really good in basketball, so I am the little brother 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:34.760 and I'm like, no, you're not the fucking little brother. 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.560 Those are your contemporaries who you have to learn not 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:40.560 to view them as an older brother, and that's the 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:43.400 people you're competing for for the same jobs and scholarships. 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:47.320 So that was my mentality and my thought processes was 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.560 if he is afraid of me and he doesn't want 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:52.480 to talk to me because we have a difference of opinion, 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.080 he's going to then roll over to other people who 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:58.280 have difference of opinions because he's used to just avoiding confrontations. 0:15:58.320 --> 0:15:58.640 Agree. 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:03.000 And Jackson is just naturally nice and kind kid. He's 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:07.360 every school he's been in, every teacher he's had, every 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:09.760 teammate that he's played with, their parents have been like, 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.680 we just love Jackson. 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.600 Because we teach him not to bully people. We teach 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:18.280 him to have awareness and emotional maturity if you see 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.840 other kids are going through stuff, like be there to 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.640 be in support of your teammates and friends. So because 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.240 he was taught that, sometimes he doesn't know when to 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:29.000 use discernment like this kid don't need that. This kid 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:30.640 needs to be told get the fuck out my face 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:31.680 because it's gonna be a problem. 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:34.960 And I'm trying to teach Jackson the difference. So when 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:35.520 I came. 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:38.040 Home that day, Yeah, when I came home that day. 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.640 I wanted him to challenge me, like that, what did 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.560 I do wrong? I don't understand, But rather than challenge me, 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:47.320 he hit, which showed me more of him being the 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:51.960 propensity to be bullied if he's hiding, because in those environments, 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:54.600 when people see that you're a hider, that's who they 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:56.920 go to show other people that they tough. I'm going 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.360 to chase the kid just hiding, and I'm like, Jackson, 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:02.160 You're not that kid. So when I was coming upstairs, 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.640 I was coming says to have a very intense conversation. 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:07.320 And then when I came upstairs, he met me at 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.199