Speaker 1: So let's talk about the TikTok ellipse as I've named it,
Speaker 1: that happened that most people know about. So from the
Speaker 1: very beginning, I've explained that TikTok is a different planet,
Speaker 1: and many people visit that planet. Some people have tertiary
Speaker 1: residence is there, secondary residence is there to stop by
Speaker 1: as a tourist. It's a different planet. But I have
Speaker 1: permanent residency there. I live there. I live on Instagram too,
Speaker 1: But I would almost say my primary residence is on
Speaker 1: TikTok because yeah, I would say my primary residence is
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, my primary residence is. I'm actually thinking
Speaker 1: about this seriously, like TikTok is my Hampton's house, where
Speaker 1: it's where I feel the most comfortable and at home.
Speaker 1: But I do my day to day operations in my
Speaker 1: suburban house, So I would say TikTok is kind of
Speaker 1: where my heart is. So let me explain the differences
Speaker 1: between Instagram and TikTok once and for all accurately, because
Speaker 1: it's a big conversation. As many of you know, there
Speaker 1: wash a TikTok band that went into effect this past weekend.
Speaker 1: I'm going to get into that and what that experience
Speaker 1: was like because that experience was like something happens on
Speaker 1: another planet that most people don't understand, but if you
Speaker 1: live on that planet, you understand what went down. So
Speaker 1: before I get into what went down on the planet
Speaker 1: of talk when it crashed, I will explain to you
Speaker 1: that here is the difference between Instagram and TikTok. Instagram
Speaker 1: is like the Marriotte lobby, where many people are wearing
Speaker 1: name tags, people have personalities, people are attractive, people are
Speaker 1: talking about things they should be talking about. Some people
Speaker 1: say some mistakes and say something they shouldn't, but overall,
Speaker 1: there is a decorum and there are some guard rails
Speaker 1: to what is going on on Instagram, and there's what
Speaker 1: you should do and what you shouldn't do. And I'm
Speaker 1: sorry to my Instagram people because I do have dual
Speaker 1: residency and I live there and I love you. But
Speaker 1: Instagram has way more judgmental people. They would be way
Speaker 1: more There are a bunch of Karens over on TikTok,
Speaker 1: but people would say there are way more Karens on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and Instagram is extremely judgmental. They don't give you a
Speaker 1: lot of breathing room. You do something stupid they make
Speaker 1: you feel feel like a fool. And TikTok so if
Speaker 1: Instagram is a bunch of people with name tags on
Speaker 1: doing what they're mostly supposed to do in an organized
Speaker 1: formatted timeline manner, TikTok is the after party upstairs where
Speaker 1: people are taking their clothes off. Someone has tassels on
Speaker 1: their titties. Someone's definitely made a full of themselves, said
Speaker 1: something stupid. Someone else has applauded them for saying that's
Speaker 1: something stupid. Even though in the mainstream it would not work.
Speaker 1: Instagram is where mainstream media lives. There is not a
Speaker 1: lot of conspiracy theory there. There was not a lot
Speaker 1: of talk about my d or bags. The pandemic was
Speaker 1: discussed there, but in a more let's regurgitate from the
Speaker 1: multiple news stations manner, and TikTok is citizens journalism. Individuals
Speaker 1: are reporters. Now. When I first got on TikTok, I thought,
Speaker 1: what the hell this random person is holding a microphone
Speaker 1: thinking they report the news, And once I lived on
Speaker 1: this planet longer, I realized, who the hell is the
Speaker 1: dummy on the mainstream channel also regurgitating and reporting the news?
Speaker 1: What is that person? A wizard that person definitely went
Speaker 1: to MIT and fought in wars and worked for NASA
Speaker 1: and has been a mother and a daughter and a
Speaker 1: man and a transgender person, and I like, so that's
Speaker 1: just a person. It's just a person. The same way
Speaker 1: that I could be a pubists today, with all due
Speaker 1: respect to publicists that I love and mind Joel Fritzo.
Speaker 1: If I wanted to, I today could decide to be
Speaker 1: a publicist, a marketing executive. I could decide to be
Speaker 1: a lot of things. So people decided they were going
Speaker 1: to report the news, and they are very thorough. Some
Speaker 1: are just monkeys that just say things and spread false news,
Speaker 1: but that happens on the mainstream media too. Some are
Speaker 1: really knowledgeable. I could think of very specific ones that
Speaker 1: are very knowledgeable. They know what they're talking about, like
Speaker 1: they actually have done their research, which is frankly all
Speaker 1: that mainstream journalists do. In addition, you can talk about
Speaker 1: things ad nauseum for TikTok and you can find a
Speaker 1: community that wants to keep hearing it. If I keep
Speaker 1: talking about relief work on Instagram, I will start to
Speaker 1: lose followers and views will go down. That can happen
Speaker 1: on TikTok too, But I can find a pocket in
Speaker 1: that algorithm where everybody wants to talk about relief work,
Speaker 1: and the only thing they're upset about is what's not
Speaker 1: happening in North Carolina right now? Or what is happening
Speaker 1: in the fires, or how did the fire start? Or
Speaker 1: what are the drones? They are the doorb or oh
Speaker 1: my god, there's a while, Mark Burkin, or I'm an
Speaker 1: asshole and I want to go show you my brand
Speaker 1: new four four hundred thousand dollar Rolls Royce and we're
Speaker 1: gonna fly to Thailand to go buy an air mes bag.
Speaker 1: And you're gonna go with that person or this one
Speaker 1: guy who like just every day flexes how expensive his
Speaker 1: cars are, his homes are. Whatever. You find your you
Speaker 1: find your way, you find your place, and sometimes you
Speaker 1: meet people that aren't from your place and you find
Speaker 1: them interesting. I follow twenty something year olds and laugh
Speaker 1: at what they're doing. I don't really do that on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I'm like following more on twenty two year olds that
Speaker 1: do dumb dances that my daughter isn't even following, Like
Speaker 1: I just get a kick out of it. And the
Speaker 1: reason it's a community and a family is, like you
Speaker 1: really there were people. So this is this, this really
Speaker 1: popped off during the pandemic. Okay, So apps like Cameo
Speaker 1: popped off during the pandemic because people couldn't see each
Speaker 1: other and they were sending messages. Apps like TikTok popped
Speaker 1: off because people home and they felt like they were
Speaker 1: with other people. I only regret that I wasn't earlier
Speaker 1: because I would have felt that lack of loneliness. You
Speaker 1: had a whole group of people that you were hanging
Speaker 1: out with every day during the pandemic. Inside joke. Everything
Speaker 1: on TikTok is an inside joke. Everything is a hyperfixation,
Speaker 1: Like if I put like the wrong sea, if I
Speaker 1: didn't put everything bagel seasoning or capers or parmesan or
Speaker 1: something on something that it should have been, like, people
Speaker 1: would fucking go crazy, Like if you rinse your chicken
Speaker 1: and you're not supposed to. The hyperfixations are real, Like
Speaker 1: I could sit in front of a jar of candy
Speaker 1: and just be completely unhinged and talk about it, or
Speaker 1: froth coffee. I can go viral and like have like
Speaker 1: people obsessed with and only making coffee every day like me,
Speaker 1: or eating chicken salad like me. Like, it's completely insane
Speaker 1: and it's one inside joke. So when you and your
Speaker 1: friends beat the shit out of a joke that you're
Speaker 1: the only people that understand and no one else understands,
Speaker 1: that's what the fuck it is. So after the pandemic,
Speaker 1: people were people who are ready were insular. You welcome me,
Speaker 1: became more insular. The pandemic ended and they were given
Speaker 1: license to be home, and now they had these new friends.
Speaker 1: They didn't have to work as hard to go be
Speaker 1: social or meet people. People who were super social were home,
Speaker 1: and they were like starving and clinging on to the
Speaker 1: other people that also were home. People created businesses. People
Speaker 1: were vulnerable. People were scared, so they shared ups. Guys
Speaker 1: became stars. Nurses became people with ten million followers that
Speaker 1: make millions of dollars a year, like or hundreds of
Speaker 1: thousands of dollars a year. I don't know what people
Speaker 1: actually make besides you know, I don't know what people
Speaker 1: make besides like mainstream influencers and people learned things. My
Speaker 1: daughter was coming up with all these using socks to
Speaker 1: curl her hair and doing all these things, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: were you learning all this sewing? And it wasn't just
Speaker 1: the dances, and Instagram is more corporate. Like Instagram is
Speaker 1: where like we're going to put up two feed posts
Speaker 1: a week, two re we should be doing a slider
Speaker 1: that goes on feed. But that chaotic little thing can
Speaker 1: go on stories. But like any fucking piece of spaghetti,
Speaker 1: you could burp and stick it on TikTok and it
Speaker 1: could get ten million views. And you could produce a
Speaker 1: feature film with Martin Scorsese and it could get three
Speaker 1: views on TikTok. Like they are not snobs, they don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck like and they don't let outsiders in.
Speaker 1: So one time, Whinney Cummings was like, they accepted you.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you talking about? Because a long
Speaker 1: time ago they accepted Lizzo and then she got canceled
Speaker 1: and they really didn't she I haven't seen her in
Speaker 1: a long time. And I don't know where Jason Derulo is.
Speaker 1: He's been massive on that app and he never got canceled,
Speaker 1: but I just don't see him. And it used to
Speaker 1: be that there was one community. Now there are all
Speaker 1: these different planets. I happened to walk into the Beauty
Speaker 1: Planet because I was just trying to fuck around and
Speaker 1: learn how to do my makeup, not realizing that there
Speaker 1: was a whole beauty world on YouTube and that that
Speaker 1: was like a thing. I thought I invented the wheel
Speaker 1: and I was in that room, but I didn't realize
Speaker 1: there was that room. There was then the food room
Speaker 1: where that girl with the seaweed and the salmon lived,
Speaker 1: and then there's like an organizing room, and a home
Speaker 1: to core room, and like all a steakroom right now,
Speaker 1: Like there are all these different rooms and you can
Speaker 1: switch rooms and you can curate who's in your room,
Speaker 1: and Instagram is trying to do that and reels are
Speaker 1: trying to do that, but somehow it's just not vibing
Speaker 1: so much so that after a twelve hour TikTok Lips
Speaker 1: blackout shutdown of twenty twenty five, the deck has been
Speaker 1: shuffled and people are coming back and they feel like
Speaker 1: something's different because the snow globe got shaken, and therefore,
Speaker 1: you page, the stuff that comes through to you is
Speaker 1: no longer what you took years to curate. Like you've
Speaker 1: curated exactly what you want to see and who you
Speaker 1: want to talk to, and you have the same people
Speaker 1: in your comments, and you always get more, but like
Speaker 1: you're in an inside joke. Now I'm watching Josh Richards
Speaker 1: do do fuck boys way house dances, which doesn't mean
Speaker 1: anything to you. It's like the young kids that started
Speaker 1: TikTok and so like we are all like, wait, it's different.
Speaker 1: So that's how I can explain to you how Instagram
Speaker 1: is different because a nuance can shave something, so people
Speaker 1: don't like the vibes over there. And when the TikTok
Speaker 1: shut down for twelve hours, everybody ran to my page
Speaker 1: and my team started just posting like slamming content because
Speaker 1: they were like children that wanted to be hugged. And
Speaker 1: it sounds insane, but like in many ways, I'm an
Speaker 1: aunt and a sister and a mother to some of
Speaker 1: these young kids. They've asked me business advice. I've helped them,
Speaker 1: They've asked me about their weight like products, like I've
Speaker 1: kind of been there for some of them because I
Speaker 1: do provide a different type of wisdom. I'm providing very
Speaker 1: serious but digestible business wisdom, very serious but digestible philanthropy wisdom,
Speaker 1: very not serious beauty wisdom. But then they'll always be
Speaker 1: infused some version of like something that they can understand
Speaker 1: or I can crystallize what's going on with a talk
Speaker 1: a talk sound that's going viral and like how long
Speaker 1: it will last and why not to buy into it
Speaker 1: and intellectual property. I've helped them with and organizing their
Speaker 1: house and affordable design, and you know, that's just what
Speaker 1: goes on there. So I'm the good news is when
Speaker 1: you keep washing your hair with the same shampoo, you
Speaker 1: should shake it up because then it will get a
Speaker 1: little more body. And we all got comfortable on TikTok.
Speaker 1: While I have a good community on Instagram and I
Speaker 1: love Instagram, you got comfortable over there, and a lot
Speaker 1: of people like the Alex Earls and the people that
Speaker 1: make a lot of money over there, were very worried
Speaker 1: when TikTok was going to shut down. I was not
Speaker 1: worried when TikTok was going to shut down from like
Speaker 1: a business or what do I do every day to
Speaker 1: you know that sort of thing perspective, meaning some people
Speaker 1: were worried about their businesses. Spencer Pratt was in a
Speaker 1: free fall because he just became TikTok famous a week
Speaker 1: ago because his house burnt down, and now he felt
Speaker 1: like he got a taste and it was going away,
Speaker 1: so they were really really down. I was emotionally unhinged
Speaker 1: because I like the community and I like comedy. So
Speaker 1: for me, it's a self expression. I get to express
Speaker 1: myself and do very stupid things and be very flawed
Speaker 1: and unhinged, and there it's like my Saturday Night Life.
Speaker 1: I've never been able to host Saturday Night Live or
Speaker 1: even be on it except for the multiple times they
Speaker 1: mentioned me. So TikTok is my television show. It's my
Speaker 1: Saturday Night Live. It's why I never went back to TV.
Speaker 1: I get to be myself and I just connect with
Speaker 1: this medium and I built a community there, which takes
Speaker 1: a really long time. So TikTok is the land of
Speaker 1: the misfit toys, TikTok is the rescue dogs. Instagram is
Speaker 1: where the breeder dogs live. So I hope that makes
Speaker 1: sense to you, and many of you were going to
Speaker 1: have an interesting time and started to see what really
Speaker 1: unhinged Bethany is like. As you know, all the ex
Speaker 1: pats and the TikTok refugees started to fly in and
Speaker 1: now they're flying back, and a lot some of them
Speaker 1: got on red note this weird Chinese app that you
Speaker 1: literally have to speak Mandarin to fully understand it. People
Speaker 1: were like going through People were exchange students over there
Speaker 1: because they were worried that they weren't going to have TikTok,
Speaker 1: and it was like a TikTok knockoff. And there's some
Speaker 1: other I'm like, I don't know what it's called, like
Speaker 1: bright Side or something. I can't remember, but it was
Speaker 1: a moment, And then I'm gonna get into the actual
Speaker 1: moment in time, the historical pop cultural moment, the TikTok
Speaker 1: shut down of twenty twenty five. They all describe it
Speaker 1: as crashing out, and I was an unhinged, crashing out warrior,
Speaker 1: like I was there to the bitter end, in fact,
Speaker 1: in the most iconic and epic thing that's ever happened
Speaker 1: to me on that app, And many people are saying
Speaker 1: it's the most iconic and epic thing they've ever witnessed
Speaker 1: on the app. When it was crashing out slowly, like
Speaker 1: not slowly, meaning it crashed out pretty quickly, but like
Speaker 1: each of us was dissolving. Spencer Pratt with Heidi, Alex
Speaker 1: Earle and myself were all on a live and one
Speaker 1: by one we just started to each fade. They faded
Speaker 1: because it was my live and then the people were
Speaker 1: crying and freaking out in the in the comments, and
Speaker 1: then I faded, and then they were talking to each
Speaker 1: other like, wait, is it over? And you saw that
Speaker 1: sign that just said it was over. And we all
Speaker 1: thought that this world that we had all made these
Speaker 1: connections on, like I know nurses from Staten Island, I
Speaker 1: know hairdressers, I know people that don't pizza stores like I,
Speaker 1: and you think I don't know them, Like I've invited
Speaker 1: them to some of my events. I plan to have
Speaker 1: a party for them. They've supported me. They're good human beings.
Speaker 1: And when we were crashing out, we were crashing out
Speaker 1: and I was just un hinge, and I was drinking
Speaker 1: this cannabis drink and just being honest, and I wasn't
Speaker 1: saying I mean. The funny thing about it is on TikTok,
Speaker 1: so many people shared things that weren't true. I would
Speaker 1: never have anything to share that wasn't true because I've
Speaker 1: never shared anything on TikTok that wasn't true. So a
Speaker 1: lot of people were like, oh, I didn't really mean
Speaker 1: it when I said this scare was good or this
Speaker 1: workout I don't really do or I've never really been there,
Speaker 1: I've never done that. So but I was crashing out
Speaker 1: and it was like a disconnection. It was like we
Speaker 1: were all sinking on the Titanic and it was going under.
Speaker 1: And for those of you who are on Instagram will
Speaker 1: say like, oh my god, like get a life, like
Speaker 1: it's social media app or any of you who will
Speaker 1: say that, I've raised millions of dollars on social media,
Speaker 1: both on Instagram and on TikTok. I've been able to
Speaker 1: convey things about lawsuits and business that I could never
Speaker 1: have conveyed anywhere else. I went through my mother dying,
Speaker 1: not fully, but like a little bit like dipped in
Speaker 1: and out and dating and a little bit of a
Speaker 1: breakup on TikTok and Instagram. Like social media, if used
Speaker 1: for good not evil, is a very powerful medium, and
Speaker 1: if you're a homebody like myself, it certainly is a
Speaker 1: powerful social medium. But for many people, the mainstream media
Speaker 1: thinks it was because of the business that was going
Speaker 1: to be lost, and that is an aspect, and some
Speaker 1: people have left their businesses and do have a career
Speaker 1: there and make money and monetize who they actually are
Speaker 1: because they left their jobs. And many major businesses make
Speaker 1: millions and millions of dollars, and that was all real.
Speaker 1: But the people that were crashing out, the people that
Speaker 1: were crying, and we're not thinking really primarily of their money.
Speaker 1: They were thinking of the connection. They were thinking of
Speaker 1: their people. They were thinking of their friends, their family.
Speaker 1: They were thinking of the beautiful disaster. They were thinking
Speaker 1: of the land of misfit toys. They were thinking of
Speaker 1: not coloring within the lines. They were thinking of being
Speaker 1: at the after party upstairs like a lunatic and not
Speaker 1: being in the lobby of the Marriotte with a lanyard on. Well,
Speaker 1: the month of January has been pretty boring. We really
Speaker 1: need something to happen. There's just not a lot going on.
Speaker 1: Let's review. There was a cyber truck alleged bomb incident
Speaker 1: in Vegas. There was another incident like that in New Orleans.
Speaker 1: There were like seven plane either crashes or failures or
Speaker 1: something in one week before right before Christmas, so and
Speaker 1: then right after there was like intense fog. There were
Speaker 1: there were and still are drones which I've renamed Diora
Speaker 1: bags everywhere. But I had been told that people would
Speaker 1: stop paying attention to them because so many other crazy
Speaker 1: things were going to happen. Now do I know how?
Speaker 1: And why? No, I'm not. I'm not a fucking genius,
Speaker 1: nor am I a mind reader, nor am I a
Speaker 1: fortune teller. And I keep saying that we are all
Speaker 1: ants because whatever anything is, we're not going to be
Speaker 1: the ones to know it. We'll be told what we
Speaker 1: need to know. It's like you sit the fuck down,
Speaker 1: You sit at the kids say well, we'll call you.
Speaker 1: Do not speak unless spoken to, and so then after
Speaker 1: the doora bags, then it was the California fires. Then
Speaker 1: there's an uprising because of North Carolina because they're not
Speaker 1: getting the love and the attention and the media that
Speaker 1: the California fires are getting. And I went there to
Speaker 1: do relief work and I'm a zombie. I'm so exhausted.
Speaker 1: The people there are so traumatized. They are zombies different reasons.
Speaker 1: And then we came back, and then there was the
Speaker 1: TikTok ban, and then there were the hostages discussed, and
Speaker 1: now there's an inauguration. It's fucking January twentieth. It feels
Speaker 1: like January ninety ninth. It feels like it's been five
Speaker 1: months in this week, it's been this month has been
Speaker 1: five months long. I am so tired. My week started.
Speaker 1: I went to La. I flew there, went to the way.
Speaker 1: What did I do? I flew there, woke up, went
Speaker 1: to the warehouse, got the warehouse organized, had started to
Speaker 1: raise money already, so now I had raised probably at
Speaker 1: that point like probably one to two million dollars. Continued
Speaker 1: to raise money, wrote all sort of the copy for
Speaker 1: everything we were going to portray in what we were
Speaker 1: going to say about this disaster. Did multiple press outlets
Speaker 1: in La. While there, I think I did Extra and
Speaker 1: NBC and Spectrum and something else. And then went on
Speaker 1: multiple missions, actually living boxes and cash cards and meeting
Speaker 1: people and it was so tragic and so sad, but
Speaker 1: really making a difference in helping. Then going to the
Speaker 1: second mission in a church and doing a big speech
Speaker 1: and speaking to everyone about it. Then deciding I'm getting
Speaker 1: on a red eye because I want to be there
Speaker 1: with my daughter for breakfast and after school. So I
Speaker 1: get on a red eye. Sleep three hours on the
Speaker 1: red eye because I'm so activated and wound up. Get
Speaker 1: off the red eye, sleep an hour Cebrian right before school,
Speaker 1: give her a kiss, don't drive her that day because
Speaker 1: I'm a zombie. Get organized the whole day. Because the
Speaker 1: reason I wanted to take the Red Eye was to
Speaker 1: like have one night in my house. I like to nest.
Speaker 1: I don't like to go one place to the next.
Speaker 1: I like to get back to the base, even if
Speaker 1: it's inconvenient, even if it takes longer. I like to
Speaker 1: get back to the base. And sadly, as an influencer,
Speaker 1: the amount of shit I get sent that I don't
Speaker 1: even want takes a full time job, and getting back
Speaker 1: to the base to go through it and tell everyone
Speaker 1: where it's going to go and what we're doing with that?
Speaker 1: Are we shooting it? And then the next morning woke up.
Speaker 1: I think it was like five o'clock five one day,
Speaker 1: six o'clock one day, and I had to do morning shows.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's not true. I did the opening of
Speaker 1: the Nasdaq Bell. I rang the opening of the Nasdaq bell,
Speaker 1: something that people would wait their entire lives to do.
Speaker 1: That one thing that is like slotted in on that
Speaker 1: day because afterwards I had either like CNN or NBC.
Speaker 1: I had like two news news outlets that day to do.
Speaker 1: Then went home to be with Brinn for dinner. No,
Speaker 1: that's not true. Then went back to the city, had
Speaker 1: dinner with two people. Don't know why I would ever
Speaker 1: do that, but had dinner. Then woke up the next
Speaker 1: morning at five o'clock in the morning to get up
Speaker 1: and to do Gail King, and I believe we did
Speaker 1: one other thing. We did Access Hollywood right after Gail King. Yes,
Speaker 1: Gail King into Access Hollywood. But wait, there's more. Then
Speaker 1: I left, came home. I had to go through whatever
Speaker 1: I had to go through with business, do my normal life,
Speaker 1: my normal business. Then I woke up the next day
Speaker 1: and had to go to a volleyball tournament for two days,
Speaker 1: screaming auditoriums, ballrooms, drive to one and a half hours
Speaker 1: on the way there to Hartford, and then drove back
Speaker 1: in a snowstorm two and a half hour or some
Speaker 1: of it being ten miles an hour, skidded a little bit,
Speaker 1: like literally in full panic because I wanted to go
Speaker 1: see her, but I had to get home. And that
Speaker 1: is where I stand right now. I am a carcass
Speaker 1: I feel like I am like some tar that's on
Speaker 1: the tire of someone's car. Oh and we also threw
Speaker 1: all that raised about four million dollars and like being
Speaker 1: the full switchboard onboarding kat Korra for her eight hundred
Speaker 1: meals to be a part of our program and our charity,
Speaker 1: and just got off with the producer to give them
Speaker 1: possibly a job in the warehouse. And oh, I forgot
Speaker 1: yesterday right before I went to the volleyball tournament. I oh,
Speaker 1: and I forgot the TikTok ban. And I forgot the
Speaker 1: TikTok ban. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. After Gail King
Speaker 1: come home, then am in my house and have a
Speaker 1: full unhinged ttok tiktoka lips melt down, crash out ban,
Speaker 1: then go to the Then on the way to the
Speaker 1: volleyball tournament, did Good Morning America or ABC News? I
Speaker 1: am not a person, not a person. Why my team
Speaker 1: scheduled this right now, I'll never know. But that's that.
Speaker 1: And tomorrow I have a massive photo shoot for my website.
Speaker 1: So I'm a shattered wreck. Okay. The TikTok band does
Speaker 1: bring up the phone and our addiction to it, and
Speaker 1: that it's like a crutch and we sleep with it.
Speaker 1: We use it as an alarm clock in we say
Speaker 1: it's in case our daughters call. My daughter has her
Speaker 1: phone in her room because she uses it as an
Speaker 1: alarm clock. I don't love that. I bought a clock
Speaker 1: for next to my bed, and it is helping at least,
Speaker 1: like with putting my phone outside my room. It may
Speaker 1: not be early, like eight o'clock and shutting everything down,
Speaker 1: but even when I go to bed, I'm putting it
Speaker 1: outside my room. And yes, let's say i wake up
Speaker 1: at two o'clock in the morning, which happens often, and
Speaker 1: I go to the bathroom and I've been thinking about something,
Speaker 1: or wanting someone to text or expecting something. I will look.
Speaker 1: But even the dis point of having it out there
Speaker 1: is kind of the first steps. So I did buy
Speaker 1: I don't need an alarm. Actually I set alarm clock.
Speaker 1: I don't ever use an alarm, but a clock to
Speaker 1: be by my bedside, just to look at the time,
Speaker 1: because often you pick up your phone to look at
Speaker 1: the clock, but then it's triggering about who texted who didn't,
Speaker 1: and you get sucked into the rabbit hole. So I
Speaker 1: think you should think about some version of a very nice,
Speaker 1: chic little clock. And they often have sound machines now,
Speaker 1: and some one of them is a charger Mine is
Speaker 1: a charger, but it sucks. It doesn't charge, but I
Speaker 1: just and then you don't need You don't need it
Speaker 1: as a charger because you're not using your phone next
Speaker 1: to there, so that's but it's still a charger throughout
Speaker 1: the day you might need it. Mine does not work.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I tell that boring story.
Speaker 1: In other news. I want to talk about relationships, friendships,
Speaker 1: business relationships, and intimate relationships, and I want to talk
Speaker 1: about bend until you break. I think it's interesting. We've
Speaker 1: done it to someone, We've had it done to us,
Speaker 1: where you kind of take someone for granted, or they
Speaker 1: take you for granted, and they may not even know
Speaker 1: it or be able to help it. The circumstances could
Speaker 1: be so great that someone just can't really be there
Speaker 1: for you or give you what you need, or do
Speaker 1: the things that they're supposed to do, and whatever that
Speaker 1: relationship dynamic is, whether work, friendship or personal intimate you know, marriage, dating,
Speaker 1: And there comes a time when people bend so far.
Speaker 1: It happens in comedy too, you can bend it if
Speaker 1: it breaks, it's no longer funny. And it happens in
Speaker 1: relationships where when you bend too far and then you break.
Speaker 1: You snap. It's hard to come back from. There's really
Speaker 1: no more rope, and you could be broken hearted and
Speaker 1: it could be the most upsetting thing in the world.
Speaker 1: But once you've crossed over and you've seen too much,
Speaker 1: it's very hard to go back. So I caution you,
Speaker 1: in your relationships and in situations to try to take
Speaker 1: care of things and treat them as if they are
Speaker 1: precious and sometimes made of glass, sometimes delicate, even if
Speaker 1: it's some you know with staff, like people who work
Speaker 1: with you are for you, like you know, we can
Speaker 1: all be frustrated and snappy, and we're not. No one's perfect.
Speaker 1: But in any kind of relationship, it's really important to
Speaker 1: watch when something is bending so far that it might break,
Speaker 1: if you are not willing to lose it and not
Speaker 1: willing to walk away from it. It's weird. I'm thinking
Speaker 1: of that Brionna Chicken frying grayce O'Malley, that friendship that
Speaker 1: you probably don't know about, but like broke down on
Speaker 1: TikTok and social media because they were best friends and
Speaker 1: something happened and it snapped and it broke. It happens
Speaker 1: a lot on the housewise but that doesn't count because
Speaker 1: that's not real, and that's effectively effectively manufactured drama. What
Speaker 1: is actually happening is real, but it would not be
Speaker 1: happening if it weren't on that show. It's the pressure
Speaker 1: of the show. It's the manipulation of the producers. It's
Speaker 1: the putting certain people together with other certain people for
Speaker 1: certain circumstances. It's the bringing up of things that would
Speaker 1: never normally brought be brought up. It's the non pleasantry,
Speaker 1: is the sort of getting right to saying the things
Speaker 1: you would never normally say because it's part of the job.
Speaker 1: It's exposing your relationship. It's exposing your past. It's having
Speaker 1: to talk about your dark secrets and your skeletons. It's
Speaker 1: not having to have enough arguments in drama to rate.
Speaker 1: You're acutely aware of that. Someone may not, at this
Speaker 1: point in twenty twenty five tell you you have to
Speaker 1: get in a fight or rip someone's hair out. But
Speaker 1: there's a pressure and a feeling because in no other world,
Speaker 1: if people flip tables, rip weaves out, and behave this way,
Speaker 1: throw drinks at each other, it happens there because people
Speaker 1: are aware that if throwing your leg in the middle
Speaker 1: of a dance floor might get you ratings. You want
Speaker 1: the gig and in real life, not that life. The
Speaker 1: bending and breaking, it can be tragic and detrimental. It
Speaker 1: can be Once something breaks, it's hard to crazy glue
Speaker 1: back together. When it's bending, it's stretching. It's not doing
Speaker 1: back great. It's working. It's it's you know, working overtime.
Speaker 1: But you could possibly get it back to its original shape.
Speaker 1: Once something fully breaks, it's hard to get back to
Speaker 1: its original shape. Let's talk about red flag relationships, because
Speaker 1: I've talked about red Pink flags are red flags, and
Speaker 1: you know red flags. Charming is a red flag. But like,
Speaker 1: there are relationships where you may be really attracted to someone,
Speaker 1: or let's say you fall in love with them. Let's
Speaker 1: say it just seems really great. Let's say you're lonely,
Speaker 1: Let's say you're bored, but you get into a relationship
Speaker 1: and along the way there are red flags, and they're
Speaker 1: each small red flags, and you can gaslight yourself into
Speaker 1: convincing that they're okay because there's one red flag. And
Speaker 1: then you talk to the person and you bury that
Speaker 1: red flag. It's like whack the mole. And then another
Speaker 1: one pops up, and in the aggregate you find yourself
Speaker 1: getting deal fatigue. But it's like each time it's just
Speaker 1: not such a big thing. So you kind of gaslight
Speaker 1: yourself like that wasn't a big thing. And your friends
Speaker 1: might be like rolling their eyes because they've heard all
Speaker 1: the things and you're kind of describing this one thing,
Speaker 1: and you know you're trying to convince why it's not
Speaker 1: that big of a deal. But the people that you've
Speaker 1: been discussing it with, be careful about crowdsourcing. We all
Speaker 1: do it, and it's probably not the best idea, but
Speaker 1: I talk to my therapist, but I also crowdsource. Those
Speaker 1: people are thinking, wow, I can't believe this person's accepting
Speaker 1: less than what they deserve. They never do, but it's
Speaker 1: because along the way all the little red flags don't
Speaker 1: seem like they amount to that much. And I just
Speaker 1: caution you this. If someone shows you who they are,
Speaker 1: believe them, Believe them, don't describe it away. Don't think
Speaker 1: people are going to change, Don't be the nag. Don't
Speaker 1: keep telling people what you want and repeating the same
Speaker 1: information expecting different results. Don't be repeating the same behavior
Speaker 1: and expecting different results. And sometimes you'll just have to
Speaker 1: walk away. You will just have to walk away, no
Speaker 1: matter what your feelings are. And sometimes that walking away
Speaker 1: will give someone We'll scare someone straight. Sometimes walking away
Speaker 1: scares someone straight, and that's all so good because they
Speaker 1: realize the stakes and they realize they want to change.
Speaker 1: Sometimes walking away make someone realize that it's too much
Speaker 1: damage you're giving them, or that you realize you've walked away.
Speaker 1: You almost don't want them to get scared straight. You
Speaker 1: almost don't want them to change because you're scared that
Speaker 1: they won't be able to. When you're schedule to get hurt,
Speaker 1: you're almost out, You're like, okay, but you're hurting, you know,
Speaker 1: like that kind of feeling. So I caution you to
Speaker 1: really think about red flags because I've talked about that
Speaker 1: a lot on my divorce podcasts, and I really ignored
Speaker 1: a lot of red flags, and I think it's really critical.
Speaker 1: Another thing to caution in dating and in dating apps
Speaker 1: and in meeting people is people asking you for things
Speaker 1: in the beginning. As it pertains to business, I've found
Speaker 1: that many people that I go out with, I all
Speaker 1: of a sudden enter into being their mentor it's not
Speaker 1: specific and they haven't asked me that, but somehow they're
Speaker 1: like constantly asking me for either favors or advice or saying,
Speaker 1: you're really inspiring me, you're making me really, you know,
Speaker 1: get motivated to do this. And that's good on its face,
Speaker 1: but sometimes what you're doing is a mirror for someone else,
Speaker 1: and they start to feel badly about themselves and they
Speaker 1: start to sort of secretly compete, or they start to
Speaker 1: think that they need to do something to overcompensate for
Speaker 1: what you are because I have so much going on
Speaker 1: that it will make any person feel somewhat insecure about
Speaker 1: whatever they don't have going on. Even if compared to
Speaker 1: like a normal, nice, needy, basic girl, they are so
Speaker 1: much bigger and they get to be the big shot.
Speaker 1: They still will feel that way in this relationship, and
Speaker 1: often men want to run back to the girl that
Speaker 1: makes them feel like the big man on campus, because
Speaker 1: that's the girl who doesn't have a lot going on,
Speaker 1: and he's gonna be like, you're my prince, you're my king. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm here for whatever you need. I'll go wherever you want.
Speaker 1: That makes it hard to me people, because that's not
Speaker 1: me and be careful of that type of stuff. I
Speaker 1: had a guy match me and the first sentence out was,
Speaker 1: I admire what you've done. I have this business and
Speaker 1: it does this, and I'd really like to talk to
Speaker 1: you at some point. This is why someone matched me
Speaker 1: on cameo. People have paid me for a cameo to
Speaker 1: pitch me their business, which is a little more appropriate.
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to like respond to them and
Speaker 1: give them a shark tank response for you know, three
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. It's insane. But people do that in a
Speaker 1: relationship too. They don't maybe they don't realize it, but
Speaker 1: they're like utilizing you as some version of a mentor.
Speaker 1: I don't want to work when I'm in my social life.
Speaker 1: I once had someone want to go out with me
Speaker 1: and their daughter was a big fan, and they asked
Speaker 1: me if they should bring their daughter. I was like,
Speaker 1: I thought dating was a two person sport if we're
Speaker 1: not in the fucking Mormon country. So anyway, you'll see
Speaker 1: a lot of shit. You'll see a lot of shit.
Speaker 1: Going back to bending and breaking. Also, I find that
Speaker 1: the good dynamic is when both people are givers. You
Speaker 1: will start to see if you are the giver or
Speaker 1: the taker in a relationship, and I have been both.
Speaker 1: It's not black and white, and you in a relateral
Speaker 1: I've always been a person who gives love and who gives,
Speaker 1: and who definitely gives materialistically and who gives gift twise,
Speaker 1: I am very much like that. But from an emotional
Speaker 1: standpoint or from a thoughtful standpoint, or from a doing standpoint,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm definitely there. Maybe I'm not always giving emotionally,
Speaker 1: maybe I shut down, but you will find when there's
Speaker 1: someone in a relationship who's sort of always taking, it's
Speaker 1: just like they're always asking for something. There's always some
Speaker 1: more thing that they need, and you're always going out
Speaker 1: of your way to do things for them, even when
Speaker 1: they're not asking, because they're just sort of have that
Speaker 1: take or energy, and you just get into the role
Speaker 1: of being the giver. And I don't think that I
Speaker 1: think that lends to the bend and break, because that
Speaker 1: is effectively the giving tree. The giving Tree story is
Speaker 1: about going every day to take branches from this tree
Speaker 1: who kept giving and giving and giving. In one day
Speaker 1: it's said, I'm sorry, I have no more branches to give,
Speaker 1: and it was very sad because that's when you realize.
Speaker 2: That the answer back to the Conster