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Speaker 1: So let's talk about the TikTok ellipse as I've named it,

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Speaker 1: that happened that most people know about. So from the

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Speaker 1: very beginning, I've explained that TikTok is a different planet,

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Speaker 1: and many people visit that planet. Some people have tertiary

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Speaker 1: residence is there, secondary residence is there to stop by

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Speaker 1: as a tourist. It's a different planet. But I have

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Speaker 1: permanent residency there. I live there. I live on Instagram too,

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Speaker 1: But I would almost say my primary residence is on

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Speaker 1: TikTok because yeah, I would say my primary residence is

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Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, my primary residence is. I'm actually thinking

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Speaker 1: about this seriously, like TikTok is my Hampton's house, where

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Speaker 1: it's where I feel the most comfortable and at home.

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Speaker 1: But I do my day to day operations in my

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Speaker 1: suburban house, So I would say TikTok is kind of

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Speaker 1: where my heart is. So let me explain the differences

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Speaker 1: between Instagram and TikTok once and for all accurately, because

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Speaker 1: it's a big conversation. As many of you know, there

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Speaker 1: wash a TikTok band that went into effect this past weekend.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get into that and what that experience

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Speaker 1: was like because that experience was like something happens on

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Speaker 1: another planet that most people don't understand, but if you

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Speaker 1: live on that planet, you understand what went down. So

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Speaker 1: before I get into what went down on the planet

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Speaker 1: of talk when it crashed, I will explain to you

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Speaker 1: that here is the difference between Instagram and TikTok. Instagram

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Speaker 1: is like the Marriotte lobby, where many people are wearing

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Speaker 1: name tags, people have personalities, people are attractive, people are

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Speaker 1: talking about things they should be talking about. Some people

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Speaker 1: say some mistakes and say something they shouldn't, but overall,

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Speaker 1: there is a decorum and there are some guard rails

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Speaker 1: to what is going on on Instagram, and there's what

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Speaker 1: you should do and what you shouldn't do. And I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry to my Instagram people because I do have dual

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Speaker 1: residency and I live there and I love you. But

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Speaker 1: Instagram has way more judgmental people. They would be way

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Speaker 1: more There are a bunch of Karens over on TikTok,

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Speaker 1: but people would say there are way more Karens on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: and Instagram is extremely judgmental. They don't give you a

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Speaker 1: lot of breathing room. You do something stupid they make

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Speaker 1: you feel feel like a fool. And TikTok so if

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Speaker 1: Instagram is a bunch of people with name tags on

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Speaker 1: doing what they're mostly supposed to do in an organized

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Speaker 1: formatted timeline manner, TikTok is the after party upstairs where

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Speaker 1: people are taking their clothes off. Someone has tassels on

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Speaker 1: their titties. Someone's definitely made a full of themselves, said

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Speaker 1: something stupid. Someone else has applauded them for saying that's

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Speaker 1: something stupid. Even though in the mainstream it would not work.

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Speaker 1: Instagram is where mainstream media lives. There is not a

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Speaker 1: lot of conspiracy theory there. There was not a lot

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Speaker 1: of talk about my d or bags. The pandemic was

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Speaker 1: discussed there, but in a more let's regurgitate from the

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Speaker 1: multiple news stations manner, and TikTok is citizens journalism. Individuals

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Speaker 1: are reporters. Now. When I first got on TikTok, I thought,

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Speaker 1: what the hell this random person is holding a microphone

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Speaker 1: thinking they report the news, And once I lived on

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Speaker 1: this planet longer, I realized, who the hell is the

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Speaker 1: dummy on the mainstream channel also regurgitating and reporting the news?

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Speaker 1: What is that person? A wizard that person definitely went

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Speaker 1: to MIT and fought in wars and worked for NASA

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Speaker 1: and has been a mother and a daughter and a

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Speaker 1: man and a transgender person, and I like, so that's

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Speaker 1: just a person. It's just a person. The same way

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Speaker 1: that I could be a pubists today, with all due

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Speaker 1: respect to publicists that I love and mind Joel Fritzo.

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Speaker 1: If I wanted to, I today could decide to be

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Speaker 1: a publicist, a marketing executive. I could decide to be

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Speaker 1: a lot of things. So people decided they were going

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Speaker 1: to report the news, and they are very thorough. Some

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Speaker 1: are just monkeys that just say things and spread false news,

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Speaker 1: but that happens on the mainstream media too. Some are

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Speaker 1: really knowledgeable. I could think of very specific ones that

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Speaker 1: are very knowledgeable. They know what they're talking about, like

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Speaker 1: they actually have done their research, which is frankly all

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Speaker 1: that mainstream journalists do. In addition, you can talk about

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Speaker 1: things ad nauseum for TikTok and you can find a

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Speaker 1: community that wants to keep hearing it. If I keep

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Speaker 1: talking about relief work on Instagram, I will start to

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Speaker 1: lose followers and views will go down. That can happen

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Speaker 1: on TikTok too, But I can find a pocket in

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Speaker 1: that algorithm where everybody wants to talk about relief work,

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Speaker 1: and the only thing they're upset about is what's not

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Speaker 1: happening in North Carolina right now? Or what is happening

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Speaker 1: in the fires, or how did the fire start? Or

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Speaker 1: what are the drones? They are the doorb or oh

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Speaker 1: my god, there's a while, Mark Burkin, or I'm an

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Speaker 1: asshole and I want to go show you my brand

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Speaker 1: new four four hundred thousand dollar Rolls Royce and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna fly to Thailand to go buy an air mes bag.

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Speaker 1: And you're gonna go with that person or this one

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Speaker 1: guy who like just every day flexes how expensive his

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Speaker 1: cars are, his homes are. Whatever. You find your you

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Speaker 1: find your way, you find your place, and sometimes you

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Speaker 1: meet people that aren't from your place and you find

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Speaker 1: them interesting. I follow twenty something year olds and laugh

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Speaker 1: at what they're doing. I don't really do that on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I'm like following more on twenty two year olds that

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Speaker 1: do dumb dances that my daughter isn't even following, Like

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Speaker 1: I just get a kick out of it. And the

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Speaker 1: reason it's a community and a family is, like you

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Speaker 1: really there were people. So this is this, this really

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Speaker 1: popped off during the pandemic. Okay, So apps like Cameo

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Speaker 1: popped off during the pandemic because people couldn't see each

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Speaker 1: other and they were sending messages. Apps like TikTok popped

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Speaker 1: off because people home and they felt like they were

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Speaker 1: with other people. I only regret that I wasn't earlier

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Speaker 1: because I would have felt that lack of loneliness. You

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Speaker 1: had a whole group of people that you were hanging

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Speaker 1: out with every day during the pandemic. Inside joke. Everything

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Speaker 1: on TikTok is an inside joke. Everything is a hyperfixation,

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Speaker 1: Like if I put like the wrong sea, if I

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Speaker 1: didn't put everything bagel seasoning or capers or parmesan or

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Speaker 1: something on something that it should have been, like, people

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Speaker 1: would fucking go crazy, Like if you rinse your chicken

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Speaker 1: and you're not supposed to. The hyperfixations are real, Like

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Speaker 1: I could sit in front of a jar of candy

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Speaker 1: and just be completely unhinged and talk about it, or

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Speaker 1: froth coffee. I can go viral and like have like

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Speaker 1: people obsessed with and only making coffee every day like me,

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Speaker 1: or eating chicken salad like me. Like, it's completely insane

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Speaker 1: and it's one inside joke. So when you and your

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Speaker 1: friends beat the shit out of a joke that you're

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Speaker 1: the only people that understand and no one else understands,

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Speaker 1: that's what the fuck it is. So after the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: people were people who are ready were insular. You welcome me,

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Speaker 1: became more insular. The pandemic ended and they were given

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Speaker 1: license to be home, and now they had these new friends.

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Speaker 1: They didn't have to work as hard to go be

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Speaker 1: social or meet people. People who were super social were home,

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Speaker 1: and they were like starving and clinging on to the

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Speaker 1: other people that also were home. People created businesses. People

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Speaker 1: were vulnerable. People were scared, so they shared ups. Guys

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Speaker 1: became stars. Nurses became people with ten million followers that

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Speaker 1: make millions of dollars a year, like or hundreds of

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Speaker 1: thousands of dollars a year. I don't know what people

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Speaker 1: actually make besides you know, I don't know what people

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Speaker 1: make besides like mainstream influencers and people learned things. My

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Speaker 1: daughter was coming up with all these using socks to

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Speaker 1: curl her hair and doing all these things, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: were you learning all this sewing? And it wasn't just

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Speaker 1: the dances, and Instagram is more corporate. Like Instagram is

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Speaker 1: where like we're going to put up two feed posts

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Speaker 1: a week, two re we should be doing a slider

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Speaker 1: that goes on feed. But that chaotic little thing can

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Speaker 1: go on stories. But like any fucking piece of spaghetti,

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Speaker 1: you could burp and stick it on TikTok and it

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Speaker 1: could get ten million views. And you could produce a

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Speaker 1: feature film with Martin Scorsese and it could get three

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Speaker 1: views on TikTok. Like they are not snobs, they don't

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Speaker 1: give a fuck like and they don't let outsiders in.

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Speaker 1: So one time, Whinney Cummings was like, they accepted you.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you talking about? Because a long

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Speaker 1: time ago they accepted Lizzo and then she got canceled

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Speaker 1: and they really didn't she I haven't seen her in

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Speaker 1: a long time. And I don't know where Jason Derulo is.

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Speaker 1: He's been massive on that app and he never got canceled,

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Speaker 1: but I just don't see him. And it used to

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Speaker 1: be that there was one community. Now there are all

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Speaker 1: these different planets. I happened to walk into the Beauty

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Speaker 1: Planet because I was just trying to fuck around and

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Speaker 1: learn how to do my makeup, not realizing that there

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Speaker 1: was a whole beauty world on YouTube and that that

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Speaker 1: was like a thing. I thought I invented the wheel

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Speaker 1: and I was in that room, but I didn't realize

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Speaker 1: there was that room. There was then the food room

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Speaker 1: where that girl with the seaweed and the salmon lived,

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Speaker 1: and then there's like an organizing room, and a home

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Speaker 1: to core room, and like all a steakroom right now,

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Speaker 1: Like there are all these different rooms and you can

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Speaker 1: switch rooms and you can curate who's in your room,

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Speaker 1: and Instagram is trying to do that and reels are

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Speaker 1: trying to do that, but somehow it's just not vibing

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Speaker 1: so much so that after a twelve hour TikTok Lips

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Speaker 1: blackout shutdown of twenty twenty five, the deck has been

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Speaker 1: shuffled and people are coming back and they feel like

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Speaker 1: something's different because the snow globe got shaken, and therefore,

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Speaker 1: you page, the stuff that comes through to you is

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Speaker 1: no longer what you took years to curate. Like you've

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Speaker 1: curated exactly what you want to see and who you

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Speaker 1: want to talk to, and you have the same people

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Speaker 1: in your comments, and you always get more, but like

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Speaker 1: you're in an inside joke. Now I'm watching Josh Richards

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Speaker 1: do do fuck boys way house dances, which doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: anything to you. It's like the young kids that started

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Speaker 1: TikTok and so like we are all like, wait, it's different.

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Speaker 1: So that's how I can explain to you how Instagram

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Speaker 1: is different because a nuance can shave something, so people

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Speaker 1: don't like the vibes over there. And when the TikTok

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Speaker 1: shut down for twelve hours, everybody ran to my page

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Speaker 1: and my team started just posting like slamming content because

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Speaker 1: they were like children that wanted to be hugged. And

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Speaker 1: it sounds insane, but like in many ways, I'm an

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Speaker 1: aunt and a sister and a mother to some of

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Speaker 1: these young kids. They've asked me business advice. I've helped them,

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Speaker 1: They've asked me about their weight like products, like I've

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Speaker 1: kind of been there for some of them because I

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Speaker 1: do provide a different type of wisdom. I'm providing very

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Speaker 1: serious but digestible business wisdom, very serious but digestible philanthropy wisdom,

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Speaker 1: very not serious beauty wisdom. But then they'll always be

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Speaker 1: infused some version of like something that they can understand

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Speaker 1: or I can crystallize what's going on with a talk

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Speaker 1: a talk sound that's going viral and like how long

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Speaker 1: it will last and why not to buy into it

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Speaker 1: and intellectual property. I've helped them with and organizing their

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Speaker 1: house and affordable design, and you know, that's just what

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Speaker 1: goes on there. So I'm the good news is when

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Speaker 1: you keep washing your hair with the same shampoo, you

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Speaker 1: should shake it up because then it will get a

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Speaker 1: little more body. And we all got comfortable on TikTok.

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Speaker 1: While I have a good community on Instagram and I

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Speaker 1: love Instagram, you got comfortable over there, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of people like the Alex Earls and the people that

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Speaker 1: make a lot of money over there, were very worried

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Speaker 1: when TikTok was going to shut down. I was not

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Speaker 1: worried when TikTok was going to shut down from like

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Speaker 1: a business or what do I do every day to

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Speaker 1: you know that sort of thing perspective, meaning some people

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Speaker 1: were worried about their businesses. Spencer Pratt was in a

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Speaker 1: free fall because he just became TikTok famous a week

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Speaker 1: ago because his house burnt down, and now he felt

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Speaker 1: like he got a taste and it was going away,

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Speaker 1: so they were really really down. I was emotionally unhinged

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Speaker 1: because I like the community and I like comedy. So

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Speaker 1: for me, it's a self expression. I get to express

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Speaker 1: myself and do very stupid things and be very flawed

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Speaker 1: and unhinged, and there it's like my Saturday Night Life.

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Speaker 1: I've never been able to host Saturday Night Live or

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Speaker 1: even be on it except for the multiple times they

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Speaker 1: mentioned me. So TikTok is my television show. It's my

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Speaker 1: Saturday Night Live. It's why I never went back to TV.

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Speaker 1: I get to be myself and I just connect with

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Speaker 1: this medium and I built a community there, which takes

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Speaker 1: a really long time. So TikTok is the land of

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Speaker 1: the misfit toys, TikTok is the rescue dogs. Instagram is

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Speaker 1: where the breeder dogs live. So I hope that makes

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Speaker 1: sense to you, and many of you were going to

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Speaker 1: have an interesting time and started to see what really

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Speaker 1: unhinged Bethany is like. As you know, all the ex

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Speaker 1: pats and the TikTok refugees started to fly in and

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Speaker 1: now they're flying back, and a lot some of them

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Speaker 1: got on red note this weird Chinese app that you

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Speaker 1: literally have to speak Mandarin to fully understand it. People

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Speaker 1: were like going through People were exchange students over there

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Speaker 1: because they were worried that they weren't going to have TikTok,

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Speaker 1: and it was like a TikTok knockoff. And there's some

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Speaker 1: other I'm like, I don't know what it's called, like

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Speaker 1: bright Side or something. I can't remember, but it was

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Speaker 1: a moment, And then I'm gonna get into the actual

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Speaker 1: moment in time, the historical pop cultural moment, the TikTok

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Speaker 1: shut down of twenty twenty five. They all describe it

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Speaker 1: as crashing out, and I was an unhinged, crashing out warrior,

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Speaker 1: like I was there to the bitter end, in fact,

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Speaker 1: in the most iconic and epic thing that's ever happened

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Speaker 1: to me on that app, And many people are saying

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Speaker 1: it's the most iconic and epic thing they've ever witnessed

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Speaker 1: on the app. When it was crashing out slowly, like

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Speaker 1: not slowly, meaning it crashed out pretty quickly, but like

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Speaker 1: each of us was dissolving. Spencer Pratt with Heidi, Alex

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Speaker 1: Earle and myself were all on a live and one

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Speaker 1: by one we just started to each fade. They faded

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Speaker 1: because it was my live and then the people were

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Speaker 1: crying and freaking out in the in the comments, and

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Speaker 1: then I faded, and then they were talking to each

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Speaker 1: other like, wait, is it over? And you saw that

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Speaker 1: sign that just said it was over. And we all

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Speaker 1: thought that this world that we had all made these

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Speaker 1: connections on, like I know nurses from Staten Island, I

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Speaker 1: know hairdressers, I know people that don't pizza stores like I,

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Speaker 1: and you think I don't know them, Like I've invited

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Speaker 1: them to some of my events. I plan to have

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Speaker 1: a party for them. They've supported me. They're good human beings.

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Speaker 1: And when we were crashing out, we were crashing out

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Speaker 1: and I was just un hinge, and I was drinking

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Speaker 1: this cannabis drink and just being honest, and I wasn't

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Speaker 1: saying I mean. The funny thing about it is on TikTok,

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Speaker 1: so many people shared things that weren't true. I would

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Speaker 1: never have anything to share that wasn't true because I've

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Speaker 1: never shared anything on TikTok that wasn't true. So a

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Speaker 1: lot of people were like, oh, I didn't really mean

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Speaker 1: it when I said this scare was good or this

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Speaker 1: workout I don't really do or I've never really been there,

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Speaker 1: I've never done that. So but I was crashing out

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Speaker 1: and it was like a disconnection. It was like we

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Speaker 1: were all sinking on the Titanic and it was going under.

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Speaker 1: And for those of you who are on Instagram will

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Speaker 1: say like, oh my god, like get a life, like

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Speaker 1: it's social media app or any of you who will

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Speaker 1: say that, I've raised millions of dollars on social media,

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Speaker 1: both on Instagram and on TikTok. I've been able to

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Speaker 1: convey things about lawsuits and business that I could never

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Speaker 1: have conveyed anywhere else. I went through my mother dying,

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Speaker 1: not fully, but like a little bit like dipped in

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Speaker 1: and out and dating and a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: breakup on TikTok and Instagram. Like social media, if used

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Speaker 1: for good not evil, is a very powerful medium, and

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Speaker 1: if you're a homebody like myself, it certainly is a

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Speaker 1: powerful social medium. But for many people, the mainstream media

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Speaker 1: thinks it was because of the business that was going

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Speaker 1: to be lost, and that is an aspect, and some

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Speaker 1: people have left their businesses and do have a career

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Speaker 1: there and make money and monetize who they actually are

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Speaker 1: because they left their jobs. And many major businesses make

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Speaker 1: millions and millions of dollars, and that was all real.

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Speaker 1: But the people that were crashing out, the people that

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Speaker 1: were crying, and we're not thinking really primarily of their money.

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Speaker 1: They were thinking of the connection. They were thinking of

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Speaker 1: their people. They were thinking of their friends, their family.

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Speaker 1: They were thinking of the beautiful disaster. They were thinking

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Speaker 1: of the land of misfit toys. They were thinking of

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Speaker 1: not coloring within the lines. They were thinking of being

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Speaker 1: at the after party upstairs like a lunatic and not

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Speaker 1: being in the lobby of the Marriotte with a lanyard on. Well,

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Speaker 1: the month of January has been pretty boring. We really

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Speaker 1: need something to happen. There's just not a lot going on.

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Speaker 1: Let's review. There was a cyber truck alleged bomb incident

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Speaker 1: in Vegas. There was another incident like that in New Orleans.

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Speaker 1: There were like seven plane either crashes or failures or

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Speaker 1: something in one week before right before Christmas, so and

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Speaker 1: then right after there was like intense fog. There were

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Speaker 1: there were and still are drones which I've renamed Diora

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Speaker 1: bags everywhere. But I had been told that people would

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Speaker 1: stop paying attention to them because so many other crazy

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Speaker 1: things were going to happen. Now do I know how?

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Speaker 1: And why? No, I'm not. I'm not a fucking genius,

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Speaker 1: nor am I a mind reader, nor am I a

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Speaker 1: fortune teller. And I keep saying that we are all

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Speaker 1: ants because whatever anything is, we're not going to be

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Speaker 1: the ones to know it. We'll be told what we

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Speaker 1: need to know. It's like you sit the fuck down,

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Speaker 1: You sit at the kids say well, we'll call you.

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Speaker 1: Do not speak unless spoken to, and so then after

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Speaker 1: the doora bags, then it was the California fires. Then

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Speaker 1: there's an uprising because of North Carolina because they're not

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Speaker 1: getting the love and the attention and the media that

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Speaker 1: the California fires are getting. And I went there to

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Speaker 1: do relief work and I'm a zombie. I'm so exhausted.

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Speaker 1: The people there are so traumatized. They are zombies different reasons.

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Speaker 1: And then we came back, and then there was the

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Speaker 1: TikTok ban, and then there were the hostages discussed, and

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Speaker 1: now there's an inauguration. It's fucking January twentieth. It feels

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Speaker 1: like January ninety ninth. It feels like it's been five

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Speaker 1: months in this week, it's been this month has been

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Speaker 1: five months long. I am so tired. My week started.

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Speaker 1: I went to La. I flew there, went to the way.

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Speaker 1: What did I do? I flew there, woke up, went

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Speaker 1: to the warehouse, got the warehouse organized, had started to

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Speaker 1: raise money already, so now I had raised probably at

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Speaker 1: that point like probably one to two million dollars. Continued

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Speaker 1: to raise money, wrote all sort of the copy for

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Speaker 1: everything we were going to portray in what we were

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Speaker 1: going to say about this disaster. Did multiple press outlets

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Speaker 1: in La. While there, I think I did Extra and

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Speaker 1: NBC and Spectrum and something else. And then went on

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Speaker 1: multiple missions, actually living boxes and cash cards and meeting

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00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,439
Speaker 1: people and it was so tragic and so sad, but

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Speaker 1: really making a difference in helping. Then going to the

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Speaker 1: second mission in a church and doing a big speech

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Speaker 1: and speaking to everyone about it. Then deciding I'm getting

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Speaker 1: on a red eye because I want to be there

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Speaker 1: with my daughter for breakfast and after school. So I

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Speaker 1: get on a red eye. Sleep three hours on the

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Speaker 1: red eye because I'm so activated and wound up. Get

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Speaker 1: off the red eye, sleep an hour Cebrian right before school,

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Speaker 1: give her a kiss, don't drive her that day because

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Speaker 1: I'm a zombie. Get organized the whole day. Because the

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Speaker 1: reason I wanted to take the Red Eye was to

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Speaker 1: like have one night in my house. I like to nest.

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Speaker 1: I don't like to go one place to the next.

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Speaker 1: I like to get back to the base, even if

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Speaker 1: it's inconvenient, even if it takes longer. I like to

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Speaker 1: get back to the base. And sadly, as an influencer,

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Speaker 1: the amount of shit I get sent that I don't

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Speaker 1: even want takes a full time job, and getting back

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Speaker 1: to the base to go through it and tell everyone

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Speaker 1: where it's going to go and what we're doing with that?

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00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 1: Are we shooting it? And then the next morning woke up.

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Speaker 1: I think it was like five o'clock five one day,

377
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: six o'clock one day, and I had to do morning shows.

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00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's not true. I did the opening of

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Speaker 1: the Nasdaq Bell. I rang the opening of the Nasdaq bell,

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Speaker 1: something that people would wait their entire lives to do.

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Speaker 1: That one thing that is like slotted in on that

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Speaker 1: day because afterwards I had either like CNN or NBC.

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00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 1: I had like two news news outlets that day to do.

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Speaker 1: Then went home to be with Brinn for dinner. No,

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00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 1: that's not true. Then went back to the city, had

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Speaker 1: dinner with two people. Don't know why I would ever

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00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 1: do that, but had dinner. Then woke up the next

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Speaker 1: morning at five o'clock in the morning to get up

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Speaker 1: and to do Gail King, and I believe we did

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Speaker 1: one other thing. We did Access Hollywood right after Gail King. Yes,

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00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,360
Speaker 1: Gail King into Access Hollywood. But wait, there's more. Then

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Speaker 1: I left, came home. I had to go through whatever

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Speaker 1: I had to go through with business, do my normal life,

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Speaker 1: my normal business. Then I woke up the next day

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Speaker 1: and had to go to a volleyball tournament for two days,

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00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 1: screaming auditoriums, ballrooms, drive to one and a half hours

397
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Speaker 1: on the way there to Hartford, and then drove back

398
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Speaker 1: in a snowstorm two and a half hour or some

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Speaker 1: of it being ten miles an hour, skidded a little bit,

400
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 1: like literally in full panic because I wanted to go

401
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 1: see her, but I had to get home. And that

402
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,159
Speaker 1: is where I stand right now. I am a carcass

403
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 1: I feel like I am like some tar that's on

404
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: the tire of someone's car. Oh and we also threw

405
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 1: all that raised about four million dollars and like being

406
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 1: the full switchboard onboarding kat Korra for her eight hundred

407
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 1: meals to be a part of our program and our charity,

408
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,400
Speaker 1: and just got off with the producer to give them

409
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 1: possibly a job in the warehouse. And oh, I forgot

410
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 1: yesterday right before I went to the volleyball tournament. I oh,

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Speaker 1: and I forgot the TikTok ban. And I forgot the

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Speaker 1: TikTok ban. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. After Gail King

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Speaker 1: come home, then am in my house and have a

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Speaker 1: full unhinged ttok tiktoka lips melt down, crash out ban,

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Speaker 1: then go to the Then on the way to the

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Speaker 1: volleyball tournament, did Good Morning America or ABC News? I

417
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: am not a person, not a person. Why my team

418
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: scheduled this right now, I'll never know. But that's that.

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Speaker 1: And tomorrow I have a massive photo shoot for my website.

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00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 1: So I'm a shattered wreck. Okay. The TikTok band does

421
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,160
Speaker 1: bring up the phone and our addiction to it, and

422
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: that it's like a crutch and we sleep with it.

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00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: We use it as an alarm clock in we say

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00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: it's in case our daughters call. My daughter has her

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00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: phone in her room because she uses it as an

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00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 1: alarm clock. I don't love that. I bought a clock

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00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 1: for next to my bed, and it is helping at least,

428
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 1: like with putting my phone outside my room. It may

429
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: not be early, like eight o'clock and shutting everything down,

430
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 1: but even when I go to bed, I'm putting it

431
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 1: outside my room. And yes, let's say i wake up

432
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: at two o'clock in the morning, which happens often, and

433
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: I go to the bathroom and I've been thinking about something,

434
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 1: or wanting someone to text or expecting something. I will look.

435
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 1: But even the dis point of having it out there

436
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 1: is kind of the first steps. So I did buy

437
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 1: I don't need an alarm. Actually I set alarm clock.

438
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,399
Speaker 1: I don't ever use an alarm, but a clock to

439
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 1: be by my bedside, just to look at the time,

440
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 1: because often you pick up your phone to look at

441
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 1: the clock, but then it's triggering about who texted who didn't,

442
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 1: and you get sucked into the rabbit hole. So I

443
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: think you should think about some version of a very nice,

444
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: chic little clock. And they often have sound machines now,

445
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,399
Speaker 1: and some one of them is a charger Mine is

446
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: a charger, but it sucks. It doesn't charge, but I

447
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 1: just and then you don't need You don't need it

448
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 1: as a charger because you're not using your phone next

449
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 1: to there, so that's but it's still a charger throughout

450
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: the day you might need it. Mine does not work.

451
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 2: I don't know why I tell that boring story.

452
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 1: In other news. I want to talk about relationships, friendships,

453
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 1: business relationships, and intimate relationships, and I want to talk

454
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: about bend until you break. I think it's interesting. We've

455
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: done it to someone, We've had it done to us,

456
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,919
Speaker 1: where you kind of take someone for granted, or they

457
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: take you for granted, and they may not even know

458
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: it or be able to help it. The circumstances could

459
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: be so great that someone just can't really be there

460
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,400
Speaker 1: for you or give you what you need, or do

461
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: the things that they're supposed to do, and whatever that

462
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: relationship dynamic is, whether work, friendship or personal intimate you know, marriage, dating,

463
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: And there comes a time when people bend so far.

464
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 1: It happens in comedy too, you can bend it if

465
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: it breaks, it's no longer funny. And it happens in

466
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 1: relationships where when you bend too far and then you break.

467
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 1: You snap. It's hard to come back from. There's really

468
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: no more rope, and you could be broken hearted and

469
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 1: it could be the most upsetting thing in the world.

470
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: But once you've crossed over and you've seen too much,

471
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 1: it's very hard to go back. So I caution you,

472
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 1: in your relationships and in situations to try to take

473
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: care of things and treat them as if they are

474
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:09,439
Speaker 1: precious and sometimes made of glass, sometimes delicate, even if

475
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: it's some you know with staff, like people who work

476
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: with you are for you, like you know, we can

477
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 1: all be frustrated and snappy, and we're not. No one's perfect.

478
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: But in any kind of relationship, it's really important to

479
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 1: watch when something is bending so far that it might break,

480
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 1: if you are not willing to lose it and not

481
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: willing to walk away from it. It's weird. I'm thinking

482
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: of that Brionna Chicken frying grayce O'Malley, that friendship that

483
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: you probably don't know about, but like broke down on

484
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: TikTok and social media because they were best friends and

485
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 1: something happened and it snapped and it broke. It happens

486
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: a lot on the housewise but that doesn't count because

487
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 1: that's not real, and that's effectively effectively manufactured drama. What

488
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 1: is actually happening is real, but it would not be

489
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: happening if it weren't on that show. It's the pressure

490
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,880
Speaker 1: of the show. It's the manipulation of the producers. It's

491
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: the putting certain people together with other certain people for

492
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 1: certain circumstances. It's the bringing up of things that would

493
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 1: never normally brought be brought up. It's the non pleasantry,

494
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: is the sort of getting right to saying the things

495
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 1: you would never normally say because it's part of the job.

496
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: It's exposing your relationship. It's exposing your past. It's having

497
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: to talk about your dark secrets and your skeletons. It's

498
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: not having to have enough arguments in drama to rate.

499
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,239
Speaker 1: You're acutely aware of that. Someone may not, at this

500
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: point in twenty twenty five tell you you have to

501
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: get in a fight or rip someone's hair out. But

502
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 1: there's a pressure and a feeling because in no other world,

503
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 1: if people flip tables, rip weaves out, and behave this way,

504
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 1: throw drinks at each other, it happens there because people

505
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 1: are aware that if throwing your leg in the middle

506
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: of a dance floor might get you ratings. You want

507
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 1: the gig and in real life, not that life. The

508
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 1: bending and breaking, it can be tragic and detrimental. It

509
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 1: can be Once something breaks, it's hard to crazy glue

510
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: back together. When it's bending, it's stretching. It's not doing

511
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 1: back great. It's working. It's it's you know, working overtime.

512
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: But you could possibly get it back to its original shape.

513
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: Once something fully breaks, it's hard to get back to

514
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: its original shape. Let's talk about red flag relationships, because

515
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 1: I've talked about red Pink flags are red flags, and

516
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:19,479
Speaker 1: you know red flags. Charming is a red flag. But like,

517
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 1: there are relationships where you may be really attracted to someone,

518
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: or let's say you fall in love with them. Let's

519
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,439
Speaker 1: say it just seems really great. Let's say you're lonely,

520
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 1: Let's say you're bored, but you get into a relationship

521
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: and along the way there are red flags, and they're

522
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,959
Speaker 1: each small red flags, and you can gaslight yourself into

523
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: convincing that they're okay because there's one red flag. And

524
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: then you talk to the person and you bury that

525
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 1: red flag. It's like whack the mole. And then another

526
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: one pops up, and in the aggregate you find yourself

527
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: getting deal fatigue. But it's like each time it's just

528
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 1: not such a big thing. So you kind of gaslight

529
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 1: yourself like that wasn't a big thing. And your friends

530
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: might be like rolling their eyes because they've heard all

531
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: the things and you're kind of describing this one thing,

532
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: and you know you're trying to convince why it's not

533
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 1: that big of a deal. But the people that you've

534
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 1: been discussing it with, be careful about crowdsourcing. We all

535
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: do it, and it's probably not the best idea, but

536
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 1: I talk to my therapist, but I also crowdsource. Those

537
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: people are thinking, wow, I can't believe this person's accepting

538
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: less than what they deserve. They never do, but it's

539
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 1: because along the way all the little red flags don't

540
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: seem like they amount to that much. And I just

541
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: caution you this. If someone shows you who they are,

542
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: believe them, Believe them, don't describe it away. Don't think

543
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: people are going to change, Don't be the nag. Don't

544
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: keep telling people what you want and repeating the same

545
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: information expecting different results. Don't be repeating the same behavior

546
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: and expecting different results. And sometimes you'll just have to

547
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 1: walk away. You will just have to walk away, no

548
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: matter what your feelings are. And sometimes that walking away

549
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 1: will give someone We'll scare someone straight. Sometimes walking away

550
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: scares someone straight, and that's all so good because they

551
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: realize the stakes and they realize they want to change.

552
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,959
Speaker 1: Sometimes walking away make someone realize that it's too much

553
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: damage you're giving them, or that you realize you've walked away.

554
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: You almost don't want them to get scared straight. You

555
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: almost don't want them to change because you're scared that

556
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 1: they won't be able to. When you're schedule to get hurt,

557
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: you're almost out, You're like, okay, but you're hurting, you know,

558
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: like that kind of feeling. So I caution you to

559
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: really think about red flags because I've talked about that

560
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,959
Speaker 1: a lot on my divorce podcasts, and I really ignored

561
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 1: a lot of red flags, and I think it's really critical.

562
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: Another thing to caution in dating and in dating apps

563
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 1: and in meeting people is people asking you for things

564
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: in the beginning. As it pertains to business, I've found

565
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,479
Speaker 1: that many people that I go out with, I all

566
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: of a sudden enter into being their mentor it's not

567
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: specific and they haven't asked me that, but somehow they're

568
00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 1: like constantly asking me for either favors or advice or saying,

569
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 1: you're really inspiring me, you're making me really, you know,

570
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 1: get motivated to do this. And that's good on its face,

571
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: but sometimes what you're doing is a mirror for someone else,

572
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: and they start to feel badly about themselves and they

573
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,239
Speaker 1: start to sort of secretly compete, or they start to

574
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: think that they need to do something to overcompensate for

575
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: what you are because I have so much going on

576
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: that it will make any person feel somewhat insecure about

577
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: whatever they don't have going on. Even if compared to

578
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: like a normal, nice, needy, basic girl, they are so

579
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: much bigger and they get to be the big shot.

580
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 1: They still will feel that way in this relationship, and

581
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: often men want to run back to the girl that

582
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 1: makes them feel like the big man on campus, because

583
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: that's the girl who doesn't have a lot going on,

584
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: and he's gonna be like, you're my prince, you're my king. Yeah,

585
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: I'm here for whatever you need. I'll go wherever you want.

586
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: That makes it hard to me people, because that's not

587
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: me and be careful of that type of stuff. I

588
00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 1: had a guy match me and the first sentence out was,

589
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: I admire what you've done. I have this business and

590
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: it does this, and I'd really like to talk to

591
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: you at some point. This is why someone matched me

592
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: on cameo. People have paid me for a cameo to

593
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 1: pitch me their business, which is a little more appropriate.

594
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to like respond to them and

595
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 1: give them a shark tank response for you know, three

596
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. It's insane. But people do that in a

597
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: relationship too. They don't maybe they don't realize it, but

598
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: they're like utilizing you as some version of a mentor.

599
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to work when I'm in my social life.

600
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: I once had someone want to go out with me

601
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: and their daughter was a big fan, and they asked

602
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: me if they should bring their daughter. I was like,

603
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: I thought dating was a two person sport if we're

604
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: not in the fucking Mormon country. So anyway, you'll see

605
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: a lot of shit. You'll see a lot of shit.

606
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: Going back to bending and breaking. Also, I find that

607
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: the good dynamic is when both people are givers. You

608
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 1: will start to see if you are the giver or

609
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: the taker in a relationship, and I have been both.

610
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 1: It's not black and white, and you in a relateral

611
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: I've always been a person who gives love and who gives,

612
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: and who definitely gives materialistically and who gives gift twise,

613
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: I am very much like that. But from an emotional

614
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 1: standpoint or from a thoughtful standpoint, or from a doing standpoint,

615
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: you know, I'm definitely there. Maybe I'm not always giving emotionally,

616
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: maybe I shut down, but you will find when there's

617
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: someone in a relationship who's sort of always taking, it's

618
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: just like they're always asking for something. There's always some

619
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: more thing that they need, and you're always going out

620
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: of your way to do things for them, even when

621
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: they're not asking, because they're just sort of have that

622
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: take or energy, and you just get into the role

623
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: of being the giver. And I don't think that I

624
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 1: think that lends to the bend and break, because that

625
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 1: is effectively the giving tree. The giving Tree story is

626
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: about going every day to take branches from this tree

627
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: who kept giving and giving and giving. In one day

628
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: it's said, I'm sorry, I have no more branches to give,

629
00:32:52,400 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: and it was very sad because that's when you realize.

630
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: That the answer back to the Conster