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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some good story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: That's right. But before that, we have a little morsel

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Speaker 1: of a two minute ad break from the sponsors keeping

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Speaker 1: the show delicious.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend refused to let me meet his kids. Now

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Speaker 3: I'm rethinking things.

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Speaker 2: Might not be your boyfriend anymore.

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Speaker 3: I'm a thirty four female who has been in a

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Speaker 3: relationship with my thirty two male boyfriend for over two years.

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Speaker 3: I have a child from a previous relationship. He has

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Speaker 3: two from his and my child and my boyfriend get

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Speaker 3: along great. But after all this time, I still haven't

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Speaker 3: met his kids and it's been a real point of

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Speaker 3: frustration for me. By the way, this comes from a

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Speaker 3: money Rabbit thirty nine ten and if you want to

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Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 3: Storytime Separated And I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and Opie says

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Speaker 3: each time I've asked about meeting them, he's had a

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Speaker 3: different excuse. The first time he said he wasn't sure

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Speaker 3: where they would sleep, and I responded by offering to

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Speaker 3: go half with him on beds for them to we

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Speaker 3: oh in my spare bedroom. Another time, he said that

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Speaker 3: the timing wasn't right, and I tried to be understanding

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Speaker 3: and suggested that we can plan a date. We can

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Speaker 3: plan a playdate out somewhere for all of the children.

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Speaker 3: When he mentioned long drive being an issue, I started

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Speaker 3: getting frustrated. The drive is thirty minutes, he travels farther

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Speaker 3: for work. And lastly, when he said that he didn't

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Speaker 3: want to deal with his ex's complaints, everything started to

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Speaker 3: click and I lost it. No matter how I tried

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Speaker 3: to address each excuse, it never seemed to change the outcome.

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Speaker 3: His ex is in a new relationship and her new

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Speaker 3: partner has already met their kids. Knowing that her boyfriend

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Speaker 3: has been welcomed into that part of their lives just

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Speaker 3: highlights how excluded I feel. I've told my boyfriend how

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Speaker 3: all of this makes me feel like we're not in

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Speaker 3: the same page and that our relationship is stagnant. Knowing

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Speaker 3: all of this, he keeps reassuring me that it will

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Speaker 3: happen eventually, but he never gives a clear timeline. And

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Speaker 3: it's not just about meeting his kids, not on the

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Speaker 3: same page about the future either. I want to get

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Speaker 3: married and have another child someday, and while he says

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Speaker 3: that he wants marriage in theory, we never really have

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Speaker 3: a serious conversation about it. As for having another child,

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Speaker 3: he's made it clear that he is not interested, and

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Speaker 3: that's a big deal to me. On top of that,

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Speaker 3: he has child support obligations from his kid's mother, and

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Speaker 3: while I understand that's a financial strain, he's not doing

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Speaker 3: anything to adjust it. He won't talk to his ex

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Speaker 3: about renegotiating, he won't pick up extra work, and I

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Speaker 3: feel like I'm left carrying a lot of the load.

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Speaker 3: So here I am wondering do I cut my losses

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Speaker 3: and move on, or do I try to be more

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Speaker 3: patient and understanding and see if he'll step up. I'd

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Speaker 3: really appreciate any advice on how to navigate this. And

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Speaker 3: there are some comments, but what would you give TOPI.

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Speaker 2: See if he steps up.

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Speaker 3: How would he do that?

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Speaker 2: I don't think that he can in this situation, because

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Speaker 2: you already have expectations that he's not meeting, and it's

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Speaker 2: sort of in this weird realm of things of like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I think it's I think it's wrap.

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Speaker 2: You still have patience, you can wait put along in

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Speaker 2: the sand.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's it feels like a lot of problems

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Speaker 3: where it's like you just kind of need him to

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Speaker 3: change yea for the life that you want, and you

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Speaker 3: know it's it's things where you can like talk to

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Speaker 3: him about it. But if he's not gonna change it

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Speaker 3: and he doesn't really like because he doesn't really understand,

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Speaker 3: he doesn't really see things as an issue, then you

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Speaker 3: can't control that. But we do have some comments. Commentary

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Speaker 3: number one says, it sounds like he doesn't want future

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Speaker 3: with you. Commentre number two says, or she's his side piece?

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Speaker 3: Op response and this one is downvoted. She says, whoa

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Speaker 3: hold on? Though I agree he may not have seen

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Speaker 3: a future with me, I was definitely not the side piece, honey.

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Speaker 3: Please do not project that energy on me. We were

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Speaker 3: together nearly every day these last two years, except except

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Speaker 3: if we had to go to work or if he

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Speaker 3: had his children. Even then we would be on the

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Speaker 3: phone the entire time he was away. If I was

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Speaker 3: side piece, there is no way that his main would

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Speaker 3: be okay with him constantly being around me or on

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Speaker 3: the phone with him and not notice or say something.

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Speaker 3: There was no indication of this so please stop projecting.

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Speaker 3: Comment Trip number three says, cut your losses. You have

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Speaker 3: fundamental differences in the current and further state of the

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Speaker 3: relationship that he has no interest in discussing or changing.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't see a future. You can make someone want yo,

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Speaker 3: you can't make someone want another child to please move on.

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Speaker 3: Comment trip number four says that you literally do not

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Speaker 3: share the same goals or you haven't had a conversation

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Speaker 3: where you both agree on the same plans. There's no

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Speaker 3: real compatibility if your visions for the future don't match.

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Speaker 3: How can you expect a reassurance If he doesn't want

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Speaker 3: marriage or kids, hasn't encouraged you to meet his, and

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Speaker 3: isn't planning for the things that you want. Sometimes I wonder,

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Speaker 3: but I don't mean to be rude, but have you

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Speaker 3: considered this? From what you've said, it sounds like he's

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Speaker 3: He spends time at your house when he isn't busy,

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Speaker 3: but has no intention of doing anything beyond a casual relationship.

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Speaker 3: You let him be around your kids for two years

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Speaker 3: without meeting his and that seems really odd to me.

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Speaker 3: He either doesn't have custody to take them overnight, or

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Speaker 3: he doesn't want that is not the behavior of an

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Speaker 3: active dat you want to marry and have more children

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Speaker 3: with someone who doesn't want those things. This doesn't seem

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Speaker 3: sustainable or real. And that, honestly is a good point.

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Speaker 3: That he might just not have custody because if he

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Speaker 3: also has to pay child sport, usually you don't have

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Speaker 3: to pay child sport if you like have partial custody

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Speaker 3: right as.

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Speaker 2: A parent, you're either paying time or paying money exact

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Speaker 2: paying the time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because she said that he is paying the time,

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Speaker 3: like he'll have the kids over and that's when she

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Speaker 3: doesn't see him. But they're on the phone all the time,

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Speaker 3: I guess, but that could be a perfect time to

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Speaker 3: hide an affair.

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Speaker 2: Are you smoking or are you sensing a an affair?

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Speaker 2: Like a cheating story?

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Speaker 3: Here catching a whiff, But we do have an update

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Speaker 3: three days later. So the day after I posted this, me,

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Speaker 3: him and my child went to one of his family gatherings.

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Speaker 3: Usually I don't bring my child because it's normally for

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Speaker 3: adults only, but I didn't have anyone who could watch

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Speaker 3: my baby for me. He called one of his family

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Speaker 3: members and asked if any other children weren't gonna be there,

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Speaker 3: and get this his oldest child was going to be there,

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Speaker 3: and he wasn't aware of this. Long story short. We

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Speaker 3: went to the gathering, I met his child, and to

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Speaker 3: be expected, it was awkward as heck, but I did

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Speaker 3: my best to try to interact as much as I could.

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Speaker 3: I felt good about the encounter, and I couldn't wait

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Speaker 3: to meet his youngest child. On the way home, we

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Speaker 3: talked about it, and he lets it slip how crazy

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Speaker 3: it was that she was there. He just said that

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Speaker 3: he was just talking to one of his family members

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Speaker 3: about how I haven't met his kids and why he

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Speaker 3: admitted to this family member that he was intentionally dragging

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Speaker 3: his feet, but wouldn't tell me more than that or.

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Speaker 2: Why, because you're gonna find out he's bad dad.

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Speaker 3: This is crazy, he's telling you, like, yeah, I was

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Speaker 3: telling my family member that I was dragging my feet

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Speaker 3: on purpose for this. But uh, but that was crazy

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Speaker 3: that we better. It's like, okay, why tell me?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 3: Does he just avoided the question if you ask? Because

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Speaker 3: I'm sure OPI has asked. When I tell y'all, that

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Speaker 3: pissed me off till no end, but I didn't say anything.

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Speaker 3: I stooed over this information on top of everything else

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Speaker 3: that I told you, the lack of being on the

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Speaker 3: same page as far as the future, I came to

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Speaker 3: the decision that I wanted it to be over, so

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Speaker 3: I ended it. He told me that he hasn't done anything.

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Speaker 3: I filed for custody and other things that I suggested,

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Speaker 3: because quote, if I left today or tomorrow, he would

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Speaker 3: have to face the consequences and I could go out

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Speaker 3: and live my life. I thought that I was making

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Speaker 3: a mistake breaking up with him, but once he said that,

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Speaker 3: I knew I made the right decision. So thank you

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Speaker 3: so much for the advice. I completely appreciate it. And

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Speaker 3: there are some relevant comments. But what do you think

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Speaker 3: about that.

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Speaker 2: His actions make so much more sense now, Yeah, why

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Speaker 2: you don't want to meet the kids right of certain things?

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Speaker 3: He says, yeah, because Yeah, usually, like if you have

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Speaker 3: kids with a past partner and you have a new partner,

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Speaker 3: you would usually wanna, you know, you'd want to be

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Speaker 3: pretty serious with them before they're introduced to the kids.

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Speaker 3: And maybe Ope didn't need things to be as serious

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Speaker 3: before introducing her kids to him because they've been together

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Speaker 3: for a couple of years. Yea, And it seems like

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Speaker 3: for those two years the kids met him, and you know,

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Speaker 3: it depends on the age of the kids too. I

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Speaker 3: feel like that that does depend on it, but usually

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Speaker 3: that's still the case. So it's possible that they just

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Speaker 3: didn't have the same idea on that. And you know,

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Speaker 3: if it's only been two years, maybe he just at

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Speaker 3: this point was just like, yeah, it's just I don't

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Speaker 3: think it was really gonna work out, but like maybe

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Speaker 3: so all still hold on. But yeah, cool, that sucks.

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Speaker 3: But there are some comments. Comment number one says you

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Speaker 3: were a placeholder. I'm sorry, but I'm glad you ended it.

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Speaker 3: Opie says that you saying that really hurts my feelings,

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Speaker 3: but I thank you nonetheless, I appreciate your input. Comment

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Speaker 3: to number two says, can uh you can just find

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Speaker 3: someone else on the same page as you, uh with

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Speaker 3: regards to that topic at hand. I know, easier said

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Speaker 3: than done, but this isn't changing. This isn't a fix

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Speaker 3: it thingy Opie says, I'm realizing that now. I hope

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Speaker 3: I can find someone on the same page as me,

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Speaker 3: and you will, Opie. The commentary number three says that

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Speaker 3: not winning a child should have been a deal breaker.

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Speaker 3: That alone meant that you weren't compatible, but the rest

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Speaker 3: is just weird. If you weren't in the car, he

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Speaker 3: probably would have had someone removed the child from the party.

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Speaker 3: Oh well, he's a loser and I have avoid dating

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Speaker 3: single dads, even as a single mom, because of stuff

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Speaker 3: like this. There is a reason that the mother of

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Speaker 3: his kids decided raising two kids alone was better than

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Speaker 3: doing it with him. And he showed you for two

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Speaker 3: years why Opie responds, and this is also downvoted, not

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Speaker 3: defending him, but he broke it off with her when

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Speaker 3: she found out about me. She did not take it

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Speaker 3: well at all. From that point on, she made sure

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Speaker 3: to make both of our lives a living. Hey, once

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Speaker 3: he saw that, it's like our relationship got put on hold.

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Speaker 3: I tried helping out, but he wouldn't take it. Comment

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Speaker 3: tre number four says he didn't want to file for

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Speaker 3: custody of his own kids because he couldn't guarantee that

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Speaker 3: you would raise them for him. Yeah, that's wild too.

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Speaker 3: That's actually a good point, because, yeah, wouldn't you still

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Speaker 3: want to, you know, maybe file for custody anyway, at.

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Speaker 2: Least a little five form at least.

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Speaker 3: Because it sounds like she maybe was suggesting that, so

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Speaker 3: it's like, you know, more comfortable for her to meet them.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, if he doesn't want to do that anyway, that's.

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Speaker 2: Not slimmy, man. That just makes me want to crawl

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Speaker 2: in my skin.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what a thing irresponsible man, Opie says, didn't

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Speaker 3: think of it that way. Commentary number five says, if

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Speaker 3: I left today or tomorrow, he would have to face

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Speaker 3: the consequences and I could go out and live my

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Speaker 3: life not being shady. But what else could this have meant?

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Speaker 2: Girl?

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Speaker 3: It sounds like he would only file if he had

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Speaker 3: a free babysitter, which is kind of wild. Opie says,

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Speaker 3: I was more focused on him getting his stuff and

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Speaker 3: leaving without it turning into a conflict at that specific moment.

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Speaker 3: I interpreted that to me, and you weren't worth me

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Speaker 3: dealing with consequences that will come from her, If that

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Speaker 3: makes sense. That's why I appreciate all your perspectives, because

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Speaker 3: y'all are on at the outside looking in and much

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Speaker 3: more clearheaded than I am. Right now, I.

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Speaker 2: Decided to break up with my girlfriend, but the lockdown

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Speaker 2: changed my mind.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, it was a time of reflection.

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Speaker 2: The lockdown, my fiance twenty six female and I twenty

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Speaker 2: six male, have been dating since college, and as we graduated,

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Speaker 2: I propose to her. However, we decided to get married

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Speaker 2: only once we were both financially stable and comfortable with

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Speaker 2: our jobs. Two years down the road, we've been living

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Speaker 2: together for that long and finally met those requirements. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: our love for each other has disappeared, or at least

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Speaker 2: the spark we used to have has been gone. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Throwaway one, one, two three,

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Speaker 2: and if you want to spa own stories, go to the

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Speaker 2: r side showcase story. Ti'm sub reread it.

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Speaker 3: I'm Riley and I'm Manjie No.

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Speaker 2: He says. We became increasingly busy. She was juggling her

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Speaker 2: graduate education plus a job, and I was consumed with work.

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Speaker 2: I admit I'd been spending way too much time at

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Speaker 2: the office, and once I got home, I used my

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Speaker 2: free time to get ahead with deadlines. She was constantly

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Speaker 2: stressed balancing her education and teaching job. We never had

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Speaker 2: time for each other anymore, but we were too busy

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Speaker 2: even to notice. In March game she approached me with

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Speaker 2: the subject and we had a long emotional talk. We'd

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Speaker 2: known each other for so long, after all, and we

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Speaker 2: were reaching our end after so many years. She was

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Speaker 2: already booking flies to stay with her parents for a while.

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Speaker 2: When the lockdown was announced, she decided not to go

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Speaker 2: home in fear of possibly carrying the virus and infecting

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Speaker 2: her family. I agreed with that decision, and since then

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Speaker 2: we've been isolating together. We're both working from home now,

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Speaker 2: and she also finished her studies in April. Because of that,

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Speaker 2: we have been having a lot of free time. At

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Speaker 2: first felt awkward. I didn't even know how to talk

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Speaker 2: to her anymore. I'd got used to short and empty

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Speaker 2: small talk with her, but she's always known how to

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Speaker 2: get me out of my shell, so it didn't take

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Speaker 2: long before we were having full conversations again. I discovered

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Speaker 2: she developed a newfound love for playing SIMS four. She

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Speaker 2: showed me the family she was currently playing with, and

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Speaker 2: I noticed it was herself and me plusidogna cat whose

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Speaker 2: names were our birth months. She'd been so shy initially,

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Speaker 2: but she doesn't know that I was also feeling flustered.

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Speaker 2: I think this was the start of me questioning our

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Speaker 2: decision to break up. After that, it was a small

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Speaker 2: things I caught her up on how my life had been,

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Speaker 2: and since then she started pushing me to work out

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Speaker 2: with her and trying to get me to eat healthier foods.

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Speaker 2: I also came to discover new things about her in

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Speaker 2: these months, which was surprisingly considering we'd been together for

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Speaker 2: so many years. These past few months have been really good.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I was brought back into the times

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Speaker 2: when we first met, and I feel like a high

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Speaker 2: schooler with a crush. The thing is, I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: if I can trust my feelings right now. The only

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Speaker 2: person I've had contact was was with her, except for

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Speaker 2: our frequent calls with our family and friends, and I

295
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Speaker 2: might just be having an infactuation. I also think we're

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Speaker 2: lucky since we both are very free right now, but

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Speaker 2: I keep thinking what happens after the lockdown ends? Will

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Speaker 2: we go back to being those busy people with too

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Speaker 2: little time for each other. I also don't know how

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Speaker 2: to approach her with this. She always has been the

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Speaker 2: talker in our relationship, but I'm also afraid to talk

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Speaker 2: about it and potentially ruin things for us right now.

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Speaker 2: What if she doesn't feel the same, What if she's

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Speaker 2: just treating me kindly because that's who she is a

305
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Speaker 2: genuinely kind person. The only hope I'm holding onto right

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Speaker 2: now is the fact that she hasn't planned on going

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Speaker 2: back to her family yet, despite domestic travel being allowed

308
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Speaker 2: in our country. How do I go about this? A

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Speaker 2: romantic gesture?

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Speaker 3: Ah, what would that be?

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Speaker 2: In the very large A romantic gesture be like, look, girl,

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Speaker 2: I've noticed that we've both been very busy, and I

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Speaker 2: don't like that for a relationship. Yeah, and I want

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Speaker 2: to change that, and I want to be with you

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Speaker 2: because this is I love being in love with you.

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Speaker 2: And if you guys are just busy, you guys are

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Speaker 2: both just busy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that happens. And I mean, yeah, if you're

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Speaker 3: gonna be in a marriage with anyone, that's gonna come up.

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Speaker 3: This stuff is not like, you know, obviously, if it's happening,

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Speaker 3: you know, very soon in their relationship, like just a

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Speaker 3: few years in, that's something that you want to, you know,

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Speaker 3: work on and see if that's something that you're both

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Speaker 3: like willing to work on. But in general, it's gonna

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Speaker 3: happen in a marriage eventually, So I understand.

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Speaker 2: But I think sometimes I was gonna speak from the

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Speaker 2: heart sometimes I think the devil's just trying to make

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Speaker 2: you busy so you don't enjoy what's in front of you.

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Speaker 2: If you just are busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, run

330
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Speaker 2: around and running around, you can't actually sit and enjoy

331
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Speaker 2: your works or like what you got around you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you take some time to reflect didn't appreciate.

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00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 2: So after posting that nothing really happened, I spend the

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00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,000
Speaker 2: day reflecting on what kind of future I see and

335
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,760
Speaker 2: want with her. I also thought a lot about the past,

336
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,960
Speaker 2: how we messed it up, how we both got too

337
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,760
Speaker 2: loss in our jobs. My original post, I asked if

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Speaker 2: what I'm feeling could be an infactuation that would disappear

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00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,760
Speaker 2: as quickly as it came. But I realized that my

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00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 2: feelings for her never really disappeared to begin with. It's

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Speaker 2: like my heart just went into a deep sleep and

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Speaker 2: I forgot how much I cared for her. I think

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Speaker 2: some of you may know that I'm not really good

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Speaker 2: at communicating my feelings. I tend to keep things to myself,

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Speaker 2: and my fiance is one of the few people who

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Speaker 2: can be patient with that. Some suggested writing her a letter,

347
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,600
Speaker 2: a note, or marrying her, and sims I ended up

348
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,720
Speaker 2: with drafts of sappy letters that I scrapped up and

349
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:52,280
Speaker 2: a sad attempt to recreate us in SIMS. But still

350
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,600
Speaker 2: I wanted to make an effort to show her what

351
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,000
Speaker 2: I couldn't say through words. I heard about her wanting

352
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,600
Speaker 2: a few DLCs for the SIMS in the past, so

353
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 2: I had the idea to get her a few. The

354
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:07,960
Speaker 2: SIMS docs are pretty expensive, especially in our currency. I

355
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 2: surprised her by stealing her laptop for a few hours,

356
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,679
Speaker 2: and once I gave it back to her, she was

357
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,840
Speaker 2: elated and so happy. It was really nice to see

358
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 2: her get excited over it. We played SIMS that whole

359
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 2: day and tried to solve the mystery in Strangerville a

360
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,639
Speaker 2: game back in the SIMS. It was so fun. The

361
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 2: next day I found her in the kitchen trying to

362
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Speaker 2: bake something. It was a blueberry cheesecake recipe she saw

363
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 2: on YouTube. I basically became her cooking assistant that day,

364
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,199
Speaker 2: helping her as much as I could. We know it

365
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 2: with a pretty decent outcome, and that I bet would

366
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,000
Speaker 2: have tasted better if I hadn't messed up so much.

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00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,119
Speaker 2: She still said she had so much fun and loved

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00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,360
Speaker 2: the cheesecake. Though the next day something important happened. Were

369
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,960
Speaker 2: basically snuggled up on the couch playing when our sims

370
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 2: just autonomously tried for a baby in the bed. It

371
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,159
Speaker 2: was hilarious and we initially laughed about it, but we'll

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00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,439
Speaker 2: get pretty silent. Closed their laptop and hugged me tightly

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Speaker 2: without saying anything. I think that was my realization that

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Speaker 2: she feels the same as I, so I had to

375
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,800
Speaker 2: speak up. I'm still impressed on myself for managing to

376
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Speaker 2: talk without choking up, basically opening up the conversation, like

377
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 2: asking if she was planning to go to her parents soon.

378
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,399
Speaker 2: She said no, she doesn't really feel like it yet.

379
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 2: I asked her why, and she told me she wanted

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00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,159
Speaker 2: to stay. I told her I wanted to stay. We

381
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,159
Speaker 2: went to sleep together that night and just huddled together,

382
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,440
Speaker 2: even though we didn't really exuppicively say it. I think

383
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,960
Speaker 2: we're now aware of each other's feelings and it feels

384
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Speaker 2: like a really huge improvement to me.

385
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:37,159
Speaker 5: Great.

386
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:40,160
Speaker 3: All right, so maybe you know they weren't getting spicy

387
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,240
Speaker 3: inspired by the sims. I think they were just thinking

388
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 3: about children.

389
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 2: But we're just emotionally spicy. Sure, they're like, oh see,

390
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 2: you want to stay like.

391
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 3: Ooh, maybe maybe kids wouldn't be such a bad idea.

392
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 3: Maybe these sims are are are learning from us, and

393
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 3: maybe these sims are taking over it copies of us,

394
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 3: and they know before we did that we do want

395
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,199
Speaker 3: kids and we should do that. Then they start doing

396
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,800
Speaker 3: That's a black mirror episode for sure. Boom, I think

397
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 3: there actually is a black mirror episode like that. There's

398
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 3: like little people in a freezer or something.

399
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,199
Speaker 2: Uh Nope, that's love, Death and Robots.

400
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay.

401
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 2: So earlier we ate breakfast together. We weren't as chatty

402
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,199
Speaker 2: as we've been in the last few months, but the

403
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 2: silence was comforting. We also watched Knives Out together. We

404
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,000
Speaker 2: haven't had the conversation yet, but I'm going to try

405
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 2: to bring it up to her tonight. I'm really glad

406
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 2: this whole ordeal went much nicer than I expected it would,

407
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 2: and I'm relieved I didn't let my downs get the

408
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 2: best to me, though I still have to get better

409
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 2: with how I communicate things. I'm going to learn for her.

410
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 2: We have a second update.

411
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 3: Oh cis this is really sweet. I was really worried

412
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 3: that that it's like the opposite. And I know the

413
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 3: title did not say it, but at first, when I

414
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 3: heard the title, I thought it was like, oh, I

415
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 3: was feeling good about my relationship and.

416
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 2: Till the VID got it.

417
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 3: But I'm very glad that it was not that it's

418
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 3: the complete opposite.

419
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,439
Speaker 2: It did some good. Yeah, when it came around. At

420
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 2: least you save one relationship when you say all that

421
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 2: was worth it?

422
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 3: Isn't he good? Isn't it good that this all happened?

423
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,159
Speaker 3: But yeah, because we do know that. I think we've

424
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,159
Speaker 3: heard some stories, or I wouldn't be surprised if we

425
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 3: heard some stories that were the opposite.

426
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 2: Oh no, it was mainly the opposite. Yeah, we have

427
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 2: a second update, hie. Okay. I posted this thinking the

428
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 2: same people who saw my last post would respond, and

429
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 2: seeing that a few users wanted a bat want an

430
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 2: update back then, so I was thought, Hey, what the heck?

431
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 2: Why do not give a little update right now and

432
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,880
Speaker 2: leave it at that. Now I have five times more

433
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 2: the audience than I had last time. Right now, my

434
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 2: fiance sleeping next to me. Yes, we have the talk.

435
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 2: As soon as I posted this, I logged out, gathered

436
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 2: myself so I could tell her what's been on my

437
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 2: mind for a couple of months. It's not really something

438
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 2: so exciting. Basically just sat down and talked about what

439
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 2: was wrong before. I told her the things I said

440
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 2: in the last post, and she admitted to worrying about

441
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 2: what happens after lockdown gets fully lifted too. We both

442
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 2: acknowledge that we worked too hard to become financially stable

443
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 2: so that we could get married right now. All we

444
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 2: could do is promise and talk about how we were

445
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 2: going to manage our time better. Then we talked about

446
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: our feelings. I got to tell her I love her

447
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 2: again for the first time in years probably, and she

448
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,880
Speaker 2: told me the same. You haven't told her you loved

449
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: her in years.

450
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 3: I mean, they said that they were having these problems

451
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 3: and were debating. They were talking about like she almost

452
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 3: moved away. Literally right before this the VID crashed down.

453
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 3: She was gonna move with her parents to separate.

454
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 2: Basically, after that it was back to lighter conversation. We

455
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: basically just bonded until she fell asleep. This is beautiful.

456
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,160
Speaker 3: It's beautiful. I like it. I like this story.

457
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,640
Speaker 2: I honestly thought only I had full of people would

458
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 2: see my post. I made sure to use Reddit because

459
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 2: this isn't really a big platform in our country, and

460
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 2: I was sure she wouldn't see this post. But now

461
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 2: there were like twenty thousand up votes. As I'm typing this,

462
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 2: I think she might stumble upon this post sooner or later.

463
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,399
Speaker 2: Well then, I know she's going to be complaining a

464
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 2: lot about this, but she'd be glad to know that

465
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 2: a lot of people found a relationship wholesome. Thank you

466
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 2: to the comments, and you guys did a lot for me. Great,

467
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 2: I don't care. Great, dude, that's amazing.

468
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 3: It is really wholesome. My fiance refused to have intimacy

469
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 3: with me after she got what she wanted. We know

470
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 3: it wasn't the d I'm mail twenty five. Have been

471
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 3: with my fiance, female twenty six for three years. She

472
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 3: wanted a baby after two to three years of dating.

473
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 3: I wanted to wait until after marriage and buying a house,

474
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 3: but after a while I gave in and she got

475
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 3: her contraception removed. By the way, this comes from a cottage,

476
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 3: Pie and gravy and if you want to submit your

477
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,880
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash. Okay, sorry time

478
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,120
Speaker 3: separated at time, Angie. I'm Riley and Opie says, as

479
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 3: soon as she got the contraception out, she wanted to

480
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 3: have spicy sleep every single day. She was flirty, attentive,

481
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 3: and loving, and naturally, I enjoyed the attention and the

482
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 3: love making. After a few months, she got a positive

483
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,479
Speaker 3: pregnancy test, and I was happy that she was happy

484
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 3: and we were building a family. But I noticed as

485
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 3: soon as we got a positive result, she stopped being loving.

486
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 3: She didn't really touch me. After a few months, we

487
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: hadn't had spicy sleep since the positive test. I took

488
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 3: it down as hormones and didn't want to push her.

489
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 3: I know some women don't like being touched when pregnant,

490
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 3: and her being comfortable was my main priority. We had

491
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 3: a baby boy nine months ago, and after all this time,

492
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 3: she still won't touch me. She doesn't kiss me, and

493
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 3: we definitely haven't made love for over a year and

494
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: a half. I've tried talking to her and she doesn't

495
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 3: see any issues with our relationship. She says me being

496
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,239
Speaker 3: with her is all the love she needs, but I

497
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 3: need to feel some intimacy. If I bring up spicy

498
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 3: sleep topic, she'll make it sound like I'm a spicy

499
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 3: sleep perv or in that I'm only interested in her body,

500
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 3: But it's even the kisses when I come home from work,

501
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 3: sleeping back to back, or her on the couch with

502
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 3: a travel with the travel cot to note that I've

503
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 3: been helping with the housework. I cook, wash up, watch

504
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 3: our son when she needs an app She still gets

505
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 3: her hair and nails done, and she's a stay at

506
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,919
Speaker 3: home mom and I work fifty to sixty hours a

507
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 3: week sometimes, but I try to make sure that she's

508
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 3: not overwhelmed. And I do not suspect that this is depression.

509
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 3: The only time she is touchy feely or kisses me

510
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 3: is around her family. It's like keeping up appearances. So

511
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 3: I've come to the realization, or I suspect at least

512
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 3: that before we started dating, she only ever dated black guys.

513
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 3: Her family is super discriminatory and they don't approve of

514
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 3: interracial dating, so they didn't accept her choices. With her

515
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,160
Speaker 3: ex things did not work their way, so I suspect

516
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,199
Speaker 3: that maybe she got with me as a way to

517
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 3: get her parents off of her back. My head is

518
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 3: all over the place. Is she having an affair? Is

519
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 3: she having a mental health crisis? Is the baby mine?

520
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 3: Although I'm not sure she would sleep with another white guy,

521
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 3: so i'd probably know if my son is mine. I've

522
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 3: spoken with her so many times over this, and she

523
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 3: overlooks everything. She says that we have enough affection, and

524
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,719
Speaker 3: she will still say love you when I say it?

525
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 3: So how can I move forward with this? And there

526
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 3: are some comments, but yeah, what do you think it'll

527
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 3: be funny?

528
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 2: So if you guys are talking about like, yeah, like

529
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 2: what's your favorite actors, she's like Tinzel Washington, Michael B. Jordan, Yeah,

530
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 2: Morgan Freeman.

531
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

532
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 2: And you're like, dude, that uh, you know Brad Pig guys,

533
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 2: he's pretty you know cool.

534
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 3: It's like not at all. Yeah, no, this is this

535
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 3: is very interesting because that is just kind of weird behavior.

536
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 3: Like if they weren't all that, you know, intimate before

537
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 3: trying to have the baby, I mean it seemed like,

538
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 3: you know, it's probably just a kind of normal amount.

539
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 3: You know, he didn't seem to have a problem with it,

540
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 3: but then you know, she's trying to have a baby,

541
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 3: and then right after she immediately is like done, We're good,

542
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 3: we don't have to anymore. And even the kisses and stuff,

543
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 3: because like I get that you know, for some people

544
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 3: like going a bit further into intimacy with spicy sleep

545
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: and stuff, that can be a tatty subject or people

546
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 3: have different preferences and stuff. But even just like kissing,

547
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 3: if you don't even want to kiss or like cuddle

548
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: with your partner, it's like that's that's intimacy that that

549
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 3: probably should be there. And if it's not not any.

550
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 2: Spicy intimacy, the other question, how do you not know this?

551
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 2: What do you mean that you know your wife is

552
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 2: into black guys? How do you or like you know

553
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 2: what your wife's type is? How do you not know that?

554
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 3: I mean he did, he told us, I mean he.

555
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 2: Does now, but it didn't really seem like going into it.

556
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 3: Well, I think he knew, because it's not like she

557
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 3: just told him this. This is he's kind of brought

558
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 3: it up in a way that like he already knew,

559
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 3: but maybe he just didn't think of it, or maybe

560
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 3: it was something that he was kind of insecure with

561
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 3: at first dating her, but then kind of was like, well,

562
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 3: I mean, I know she loves me, but now that

563
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 3: this is happening, he's kind of like thinking back to that.

564
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 3: I think that's what's going on. Here, but we do

565
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 3: have some comments. Comment number one says she got what

566
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 3: she wanted. The red flag was not waiting for the marriage.

567
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 3: Don't marry her. It's not like you have to worry

568
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 3: about more kids because she doesn't touch you. For the

569
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 3: love of God, don't get married. And Opie says, kind

570
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 3: of glad we are married. Makes leaving slightly easier. Now

571
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 3: I only have to worry about custody and not divorce

572
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 3: or assets. And Opie also says in later comments, I'm

573
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 3: staying with my sister at the moment for obvious reasons.

574
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 3: I feel too embarrassed to speak to my friends about

575
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 3: this since they tend to have good marriages, and I've

576
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 3: never really spoken about this topic with men. I've only

577
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 3: briefly spoken to my sister about this. Late at night,

578
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 3: I get wasted and all sorts of scenarios come to

579
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 3: my head. That's when I start posting. I think I

580
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 3: know the truth. She is not attracted to me, whether

581
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 3: it's because I'm a white man or the love is gone.

582
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 3: I just want her honesty. If she only used me

583
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 3: for a baby, I could get over that because I

584
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,199
Speaker 3: love my son dearly. But I just wish that she

585
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 3: was honest with me instead of dragging this out for years.

586
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 3: I want to find someone who wants me and grows

587
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 3: as a couple with me. I think I'm ready to leave,

588
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 3: but I'm dreading the conversation and all the blame being

589
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 3: pointed at me, plus her parents will be pissed for

590
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 3: her obvious reason. We do have an update, So first off,

591
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 3: I would like to thank everyone for their advice on

592
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 3: my original post. It really did help me see since

593
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 3: and also that I am not alone. For months, I've

594
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 3: been bottling up my feelings and a shame to speak

595
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 3: to my family and friends about it, since my fiance

596
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 3: would shut me down every time I tried to bring

597
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 3: up my feelings. I left the other night to stay

598
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 3: at my sister's after I walked out on her. After

599
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 3: reading all the comments, I admit I felt more angry

600
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 3: than before. I'm angry at myself for not seeing all

601
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 3: the red flags, her falling for her lies, and for

602
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 3: not addressing all this sooner. But here we are, so

603
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 3: I left to cool off. This evening, I went back

604
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 3: home in hopes of having a talk with her. I

605
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: wanted to see my son, and I agreed to stay

606
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 3: the night to spend time with him regardless. After we

607
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 3: put him to bed, I asked to talk about our issues.

608
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 3: I told her how I was feeling, how she doesn't

609
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 3: make me feel wanted or loved. I don't feel attractive

610
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 3: to her. I kind of just exploded all of my

611
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 3: feelings and she then told me that she wants to

612
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 3: be intimate with me, but she has body issues since

613
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 3: the pregnancy. For context, she is petite and slim, she

614
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 3: went back to her normal weight after birth, has no

615
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 3: stretch marks. She still posts selfies on social media and

616
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 3: even full body shots too. She always has appeared confident

617
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 3: about herself and her weight. Okay, so lamb, excuse Yeah, yeah,

618
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 3: she's trying to get away with that. She's what you'd say, hi, maintenance, hair, nails, makeup,

619
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 3: et cetera, and looks after herself very well. And since

620
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 3: pregnancy and birth or I have not noticed any changes

621
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 3: in herself as a person. I'm guessing that is referring

622
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 3: to like I think he meant to say, I have

623
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 3: not noticed, and I'm assuming that it refers to like

624
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 3: how she puts herself together. But then I thought, why

625
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 3: won't you touch me, hug me, kiss me, even if

626
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 3: you didn't feel confident with your weight. These these things

627
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 3: just did not make sense to me. Anyway. She wanted

628
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 3: a cigarette, so I sent her to the shop to

629
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 3: buy a pack of her own. She gave me some

630
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 3: time to think. I figured if she did have body

631
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 3: issues like she said, and she wants to be affectionate

632
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 3: with me, then surely she would get therapy. I'll ask

633
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 3: her when she gets back from the shop. I didn't

634
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 3: know where to add, but before she went to get SIGs,

635
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 3: she mentioned about starting the wedding planning and having a

636
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 3: fresh start, that she would be more affectionate to me. Well, no,

637
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 3: thank you. So interesting.

638
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 2: Okay, she's promising it rather than yeah, doing it. Weird,

639
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 2: that's weird.

640
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 3: And the fact that she is trying to have a

641
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 3: fresh start but then immediately is jumping into marriage ideas,

642
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 3: it just makes it seem like she's only doing that

643
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 3: because she knows that he wants marriage or has wanted it,

644
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 3: you know, because you know, originally he didn't want kids

645
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 3: until marriage yet, and he said that he caved and

646
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 3: decided that like, okay, yeah, maybe we can have kids.

647
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 3: Not a great way to start to have kids.

648
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 2: In general, usually both people want to have kids. Yeah,

649
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: you won't have a good not right now, I say,

650
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 2: right now, you want to have a.

651
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 3: Kid, well, eventually, but I think he wanted Yes, she

652
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 3: wants a kid, now, now what I said. Eventually She

653
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 3: came back and I had a number of my therapists

654
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 3: ready to put into her phone. She got a bit

655
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 3: pissed and said that she didn't need a therapist and

656
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 3: now there's nothing wrong with her. She doesn't need to

657
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 3: speak to someone. So I said, cool, no worries. After

658
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 3: a bit of silence, I told her that I want

659
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 3: to separate and I'm only interested in determining custody of

660
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 3: our son.

661
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 2: He's on it. He has a mission.

662
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 3: Okay, well good, I mean he knows what he wants.

663
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 3: She started crying and begging for me to under stand her.

664
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 3: I said that she gives me nothing for me to

665
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 3: understand her. Yeah she doesn't even yeah, she doesn't. She

666
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 3: actually put her arms around me and helped me, and

667
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: I realized how long it had been since she touched me.

668
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 3: Tears started flowing from both of us, and we agreed

669
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 3: to finish speaking about it in the morning. She gave

670
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:17,959
Speaker 3: me a peck on the cheek and then went up

671
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 3: to sleep well naturally. I'm still curious. I did not

672
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 3: get any answers from our chat. She wants to be affectionate,

673
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 3: but she can't because she doesn't like her body, But

674
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 3: then she can all of a sudden put her arms

675
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 3: around me and peck my cheek. Why was it so

676
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 3: easy for her to touch me in that moment?

677
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 2: But it's a rap. She's using her affection to manipulate you. Yeah,

678
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 2: do something to hang on to exactly. I'm glad you

679
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: can see through it and that you're actually you know,

680
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 2: breaking up.

681
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 3: Right, cause like you know, if I like try to

682
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 3: look at this, I don't know, objectively or try to

683
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 3: just understand all of it, it's like maybe she could,

684
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 3: like if that was true what she was saying, which

685
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 3: I don't really think it is, like her body image,

686
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 3: then like you know, maybe she was just pushing through

687
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 3: for that to like try to get him to stay.

688
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 3: But I'm sure that OPI you know, kind of felt

689
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 3: the genuineness of it, I guess, or like if the hug,

690
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 3: if it wasn't just like a like a quick little

691
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, or like a side hug,

692
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 3: like I'm sure if they hugged and started crying together.

693
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 3: I'm sure that was like, no, you would have to

694
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 3: be comfortable with touching me to be able to do

695
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 3: this right now, you know, so where I am. It's

696
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 3: currently two fifteen am. She went to sleep about twelve

697
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 3: ish anyway, forgive me reddits, but I checked her phone.

698
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 3: I just had a gut feeling that she just gave

699
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 3: me a fake excuse. Lo and behold, she is definitely

700
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 3: not attracted to me. On her browser, she had interracial corn,

701
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 3: like a lot of it. She had a Snapchat. I've

702
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 3: never used Snapchat, so I'm not sure how to use it,

703
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 3: but she has loads of messages but no texts, so

704
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 3: it's all deleted. In the whole time we've been together,

705
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 3: she has never used Snapchat, and surprisingly all the little

706
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 3: emoji people are black guys, so safe to say she's

707
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 3: been getting herself off on her fantasies. Yikes, dude, yikes.

708
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 2: All right, well that was fun. You got a kid

709
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,359
Speaker 2: now and it's time to move on.

710
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, she literally tried to just straight up baby trap

711
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 3: you for her parents' appearances. That is so unfortunate. You're

712
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 3: just like a victim to all that. Yeah, my goodness,

713
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 3: not fun. I've taken pics of what I found in

714
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 3: case she denies, deletes, or I need the evidence. I

715
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 3: fear she will spend this all on me to keep

716
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 3: up appearances, so I need to protect myself. So I'm

717
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,840
Speaker 3: up all night now with all this information. I feel

718
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 3: like a fool. I can't leave in the middle of

719
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 3: the night, but I don't want to be here or

720
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 3: even look at her in the morning. All I want

721
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 3: now is to make sure that I see my son

722
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 3: and him be in a healthy environment.

723
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 2: Sam here ogi host.

724
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to these stories, but here's three

725
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 5: minutes fads from our sponsors.

726
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 4: First, my girlfriend decided to quit her job because I

727
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 4: won the lottery.

728
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 5: That's mighty presumptuits.

729
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 4: My girlfriend, the thirty female, and I, thirty one male,

730
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 4: have a pretty tumultuous relationship, which has seen us broken

731
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 4: up twice already. I've been the initiator of the split

732
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 4: both times, always because of her extreme, unrelenting cleanness and

733
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,839
Speaker 4: lack of trust. We don't live with each other obviously.

734
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from exile Proof Frock and

735
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

736
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

737
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 6: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia.

738
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 4: And I'm Keon, and Opie says why we're still together

739
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 4: is a bit of a mystery to me. I love her,

740
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 4: for sure, and we can get along well together, but

741
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 4: we also have very different ideas of what constitutes an

742
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,240
Speaker 4: acceptable amount of personal space and privacy. When I try

743
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 4: to tell her that she is smothering me, she basically

744
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 4: shrugs and says she isn't changing. The past two months,

745
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 4: we've had a slight shelter from our usual storms, and

746
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 4: it hasn't been as bad. She's still very clingy and

747
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 4: constantly accuses me of chatting and meeting other girls. I

748
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 4: haven't keeps close tabs on what I am doing or

749
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 4: who I'm hanging out with, et cetera, et cetera, But

750
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 4: I keep at it because I believe I'd be alone

751
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 4: for a long time without her and am frankly afraid

752
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 4: of that. It doesn't help that she's also told me

753
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 4: much the same that I would be.

754
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 6: Alone without her. Oh cut to a few weeks.

755
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 4: Ago, I won a lot of money in the lottery,

756
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 4: paid in lump sum. It's all very new to me

757
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 4: and very very surreal, and I haven't really done much

758
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 4: with it all yet, but talk to some financial advisors

759
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 4: to figure it all out. But it's readily acknowledged. I

760
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 4: am in a position to retire.

761
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:50,240
Speaker 5: Bam, break up with your girlfriend and retire.

762
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 4: The only two things I have done so far is

763
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 4: take a month off from work to sort through things

764
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 4: and get very wasted on expensive scotch with my sister.

765
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 4: I have a lot of friends right now, I know

766
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 4: who my friends are and plan on doing nice things

767
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 4: for them all. However, my girlfriend is now asking me

768
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 4: if she can quit her job. When I asked her

769
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 4: why she would, she said because I have money, that

770
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 4: if she had won that much money, she'd have given

771
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 4: me X amount of money without a thought, because that's

772
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 4: what people do for those they love. Anyways, it didn't

773
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 4: take long for her to start accusing me of wanting

774
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 4: to ditch her now that I'm rich, and how she

775
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,919
Speaker 4: was so stupid not to have seen it before all

776
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 4: because I don't want to give her a poop load

777
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 4: of money.

778
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 6: I am in an awkward position. Now what am I

779
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 6: to do?

780
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 2: Break up?

781
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 4: I am not a stingy or shallow person, but this

782
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 4: relationship was rocky before all of this.

783
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 3: I have advice break up, give me the money, breakup

784
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 3: and then break up?

785
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,479
Speaker 6: Give me the money? Can I quit my job?

786
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 5: Can not go with my job? I love you, I

787
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 5: love you.

788
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 4: I say as though I have a job outside of

789
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 4: my day yere, this is my job.

790
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 6: This is my job, guys, and I like it.

791
00:37:59,000 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 5: I don't want to quit.

792
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 6: I'd keep coming even if I got money.

793
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 2: You need to.

794
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 4: I am afraid of looking shallow, I guess, even though

795
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 4: I believe I am being practical, and while I am

796
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 4: not necessarily clamoring for us to split right now, I

797
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 4: feel like this will be an issue as long as

798
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 4: we're together.

799
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 3: Then don't be together, quit and then break up with

800
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 3: her break I think.

801
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 6: That's what's about to happen. Though, You're going to break

802
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 6: up with her before she quits her job.

803
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 5: I think you should break up right now. I think

804
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 5: you should have broken up yesterday. I think you should

805
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 5: have broken up three weeks ago, and I certainly think

806
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 5: you should break up today. That's all my thoughts. They

807
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,479
Speaker 5: should break up. I concede my time.

808
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 6: I great dust. Some relevant comments come at one.

809
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 4: It's been seven months and you've broken up twice already.

810
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 6: Wait, it's been seven months. Total break up and they

811
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 6: broken up twice.

812
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 5: If you break up twice within the span of seven months,

813
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 5: that's a you gotta break up.

814
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 6: And he said it was him both times because of

815
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 6: the cleaniness. It doesn't break up.

816
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 3: It doesn't say the timeframe.

817
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 6: Apparently seven months. Oh wow, Dump and run. Opie says.

818
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 4: The argument is I think she is overly smothering, and

819
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 4: she thinks I am afraid of intimacy, So sometimes I

820
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:11,439
Speaker 4: second guess my rationale. But she is certainly very keen

821
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 4: on knowing everything I do, Like if she sees I

822
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 4: am online and it's not writing a levee email to her,

823
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 4: it's an argument all night.

824
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 6: I realize it sounds cut and dry, but she does

825
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:23,319
Speaker 6: have her good qualities.

826
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 4: Another comment says, you've yet to mention any Yeah, reread

827
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 4: what you've wrote and ask yourself, based on only what

828
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,359
Speaker 4: was written, what your advice to a different person who

829
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 4: wrote that would be.

830
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 6: Another commenter says, nope, nope, nope.

831
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 4: You have this windfall and suddenly she thinks she's on

832
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 4: easy street and never has to work again. Easy every

833
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 4: bam just hitting all the musical ones.

834
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,400
Speaker 6: Guys, you have much bigger fish to fry than your

835
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 6: dating life.

836
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,879
Speaker 4: You need to talk to a financial consultant and find

837
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 4: a way to make this money last so that you

838
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 4: don't end up yet another cautionary tale. You need to

839
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 4: learn to be a appropriately selfish in a big way,

840
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 4: and most likely you're going to have to end your

841
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 4: relationships with.

842
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 5: A lot of people.

843
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 4: Otherwise you are going to be expected to pay for

844
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,720
Speaker 4: pretty much everything and shamed when you don't.

845
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 6: Don't f around with this.

846
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 4: It could be the greatest or worst thing that has

847
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 4: ever happened to you. Another commenter says, she is your girlfriend,

848
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 4: not your fiance or your wife. She has no right

849
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 4: to quit her job and rely on you to support her.

850
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 4: She is fully taking advantage of the situation and is

851
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 4: probably attempting to make you feel guilty by pulling the

852
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 4: if you break up with me, it's because you're rich Now,

853
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 4: who cares if you look shallow?

854
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 5: Do it?

855
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 4: She shouldn't assume that just because you happen to win

856
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 4: a large amount of money, that she is entitled to

857
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 4: any life altering benefits from it. I would sit her

858
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,399
Speaker 4: down and explain why exactly you are breaking up with her,

859
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 4: and explain why it has nothing to do with the

860
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 4: newfound fortune. If she still accuses you of it being

861
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 4: because of the money. You'll know she is just trying

862
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 4: to emotionally manipulate you.

863
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,839
Speaker 5: OPI, this is what you're gonna do. You're to call

864
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 5: up whatever. Okay, story time own from the last story.

865
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 5: We're gonna learn how to really bluntly tell people that

866
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,359
Speaker 5: we don't want to hang out with him, and then

867
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 5: we're gonna apply that to your girlfriend and tell her

868
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 5: it's not because I have money, it's just because I

869
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 5: don't like.

870
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 6: You, and that op will make sure he's got your back.

871
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, he knows how to reject.

872
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 4: Someone needs an anger translator, you know, Opie says, extremely

873
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 4: well said, and who cares if I look shallow?

874
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 6: This seems to be my problem.

875
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 4: She just texted me a while ago saying she accepted

876
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 4: my quirks before I won the money, and if you

877
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 4: ever did so before, I've only had two relationships, So

878
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 4: to ditch her now proves money will change me.

879
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 5: And then you say I am changed. I don't like you.

880
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 6: Bye, he says, I feel guilty.

881
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 5: No, stop it, stop it, slap wake up.

882
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 4: She is sounding like she's manipulating you to stay in

883
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:56,320
Speaker 4: this relation.

884
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 5: She's absolutely in a.

885
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 6: Lot of ways trying to get your money. Man, she's

886
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 6: got you back twice.

887
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 5: I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she is.

888
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 4: But break up with her permanently the third time, Yes,

889
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 4: Gloopy Sloopy says, this so reminds me of when I

890
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 4: finally told my harmful ex wife I was leaving and

891
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 4: she said, I'm the only person who would put up

892
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 4: with your bs. I feel guilty, which I am sure

893
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 4: is her intention. This is manipulative as heck. If you

894
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 4: didn't think you had a reason to leave before you

895
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 4: do now and there's an edit. Thank you all for

896
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 4: taking the time to respond. I think I am taking

897
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 4: my anxiety with the whole situation in general and applying

898
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 4: it to a relationship that was on wobbly legs already.

899
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 4: I am afraid of having to make tough, selfish decisions

900
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 4: with a lot of out of the woodwork people. But

901
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 4: this is clearly a no brainer. The decision was essentially

902
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 4: made before my win even Thanks again for your input

903
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 4: and advice, and we have an update eighteen days later.

904
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:52,879
Speaker 5: Let's get into it.

905
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 4: A few people have messaged me asking for an update

906
00:42:56,120 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 4: on the situation. In a word, nightmare, no suffice to say,

907
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 4: she was not happy when I told her that she

908
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 4: needs to forget about the money for now, and that

909
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 4: we had serious problems in our relationship from before the

910
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 4: wind that we kept sweeping aside, and all this has

911
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 4: done is force us to have a conversation we needed

912
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 4: to have. Anyways, it got heated pretty quickly, and I

913
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 4: feel like we kept digressing into petty arguments about old

914
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 4: stuff instead of sticking to the main issue. She suddenly

915
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 4: took to calling me selfish and unreasonable, which took me

916
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 4: completely off guard and had me scrambling to defend myself

917
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 4: before it occurred to me that she was just trying

918
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 4: to make me feel guilty again. After probably four or

919
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 4: five hours of getting nowhere, I finally said that we

920
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 4: are breaking up and there's nothing more to it.

921
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 2: Good.

922
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 4: She got up from the couch, got her stuff and

923
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 4: told me to go to effing heck and slammed the door.

924
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 3: Woo.

925
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 4: Next day, the text and emails started to come in,

926
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 4: saying that no one will love me like she did.

927
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 4: How it's sad to see how money has changed me

928
00:43:56,480 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 4: so quickly. Hoping I have fun banging superf escorts, on

929
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 4: and on and on.

930
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 5: And this is when you message back just one thing,

931
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 5: I will and then you block.

932
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 6: Or be like this is exactly why we broke up.

933
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: Literally, go buy yourself, because you have all the money

934
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,240
Speaker 1: in the world now to buy yourself a little tiny

935
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: violin and start learning lessons and places.

936
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 5: And that's her and say goodbye forever.

937
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 4: I ignore the messages. The next day she calls and

938
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 4: I ignore the call, and she goes to voicemail and

939
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 4: says she is crying and says she needs my help

940
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 4: and has no one else to turn to and to

941
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 4: please call her. I don't call her back.

942
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 5: Did she even sound like she was crying or does

943
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,320
Speaker 5: she just say I'm crying? She says, I'm.

944
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 6: Crying, Please help.

945
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 5: There's tears rolling down my face.

946
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 6: I'm crying a lot.

947
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 5: I'm sobbing I can barely breathe.

948
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 4: Thursday night, around eleven thirty pm, the police are knocking

949
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 4: at my door. Apparently a neighbor called in a loud

950
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 4: domestic dispute from my apartment.

951
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 6: I tell him I've.

952
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 4: Been alone all night. He asked to take a look around,

953
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 4: and I say sure. He says the neighbor who called

954
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 4: is not answering their door, nor their phone and and

955
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 4: asks if I recognize the last four digits of a number,

956
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 4: which I don't. So he asks if I know any

957
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 4: reason why someone would call the police making such a claim.

958
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 4: I tell him I did recently break up with a

959
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 4: girlfriend on the weekend and we did yell. So either

960
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 4: someone took their time to call or my ex is

961
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 4: not taking things well. We both agree it is strange. Yeah,

962
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,720
Speaker 4: I decide not to ask her about it. Over the weekend,

963
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 4: I get a few emails and texts and calls from

964
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 4: her that start off sweet and nostalgic and end up

965
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 4: angry and accusing me of throwing her to the side

966
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 4: and being heartless, among other things. From the voicemails, I

967
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 4: can tell she is wasted. I can't resist, so I

968
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 4: ask her by email if she knew anything about the

969
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 4: prank call to the police, which of course she denies

970
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,399
Speaker 4: and then spins back on me. Do I really think

971
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 4: she is so petty? Why would I ever think that?

972
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 4: It just proves I never trusted her back to arguing,

973
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 4: so I don't reply.

974
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 6: Got a little bit left, But uh, you did it, buddy,

975
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:56,880
Speaker 6: you did it.

976
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 5: You broke up with her, and that's all I wanted

977
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,720
Speaker 5: that's all we wanted. Thumbs up, bud, hold strong this time,

978
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 5: please stay broken up.

979
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 4: So yesterday I logged onto Facebook for the first time

980
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 4: in a while, and I noticed over the past few

981
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 4: days she's been adding my friends as friends, nothing else.

982
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 6: But it freaks me out.

983
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 4: I send her a message asking why she's adding my friends,

984
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 4: and she essentially says it's a free country and that

985
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 4: she couldn't have been so bad if my friends like

986
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:25,439
Speaker 4: her too. All to say, I am weary, and I

987
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 4: am depressed and lonely, and I have a feeling this

988
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 4: is going to be a pain in the butt. Objectively,

989
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 4: I know this was a good move, but subjectively it's

990
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 4: a whole other matter.

991
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 6: I look forward to normal times, Opie says.

992
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 4: I've locked my Facebook privacy settings down and emailed some friends.

993
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,400
Speaker 4: My closest friends and family are well in the know already.

994
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 2: Of course, my family expected me to always put them first,

995
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 2: but not this time.

996
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: Family first. But like, you're part of your family, so

997
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: you come first.

998
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 2: Too, That's right. And this is from the r slash

999
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 2: okay stories I'm Subreddit one of our own family members

1000
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: of your here say hey for some backstory either with

1001
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,399
Speaker 2: my family in a two bedroom apartment in New York.

1002
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 2: It was my grandma, my mom, my sister, and my

1003
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 2: brother and me in one bedroom, and my uncle stayed

1004
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 2: in the second bedroom. Once I was fifteen, I started

1005
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 2: to work. To help my family out. I had to

1006
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 2: give them half of my paycheck to my grandma and

1007
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 2: help with bills, which was a minimum one hundred and

1008
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 2: fifty dollars a week and a maximum of two hundred

1009
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 2: and thirty dollars a week. Holy cow, my uncle gave

1010
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 2: her seventy dollars a week and my mom gave around

1011
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 2: one hundred a week. By the way, this comes from

1012
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 2: smart Mouth Virgo and if you want to make your

1013
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r Side Showcase story Time supparedent,

1014
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 2: where this one is also from. When I turned eighteen,

1015
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 2: this arrangement changed due to the fact that I was

1016
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 2: basically given a mattress and told I would have to

1017
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 2: sleep on there until further accommodation was made. I slept

1018
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 2: on the mattress for the next year and a half.

1019
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 2: When I moved out with my boyfriend, I was told

1020
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 2: that although I didn't have my own room or a

1021
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,479
Speaker 2: decent bed, I had to keep on giving them half

1022
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 2: of my I didn't think this was fair and just

1023
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 2: stopped giving her half of my check and gave her

1024
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 2: one hundred dollars weekly. By the way, during this time,

1025
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 2: rent was about four to fifty a month since she

1026
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 2: was in Section eight. I'm the oldest of my siblings

1027
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 2: and am seen as the responsible one and the dependable

1028
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,799
Speaker 2: one in the family. These exceptions were only set for me.

1029
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 2: These exceptions were never expected of my siblings. Now to

1030
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 2: current times, I'm twenty four, a few months away from

1031
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,240
Speaker 2: twenty five. Last year, I found out I was pregnant

1032
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 2: with my miracle baby and was honestly shocked and surprised

1033
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 2: at the idea. During my pregnancy, my family still had

1034
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 2: certain expectations of me as a person they come to

1035
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 2: with a lot of their problems and I would have

1036
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 2: to fix it. During my pregnancy, I was constantly called

1037
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 2: to know where my brother was or what he was

1038
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 2: up to, or figure out his school situation. I was

1039
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 2: also called during this time to tell me how bad

1040
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 2: of a time my sister was having, who got pregnant

1041
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,720
Speaker 2: two months after me, and would add to how easy

1042
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 2: going my pregnancy was compared to hers. Never once was

1043
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 2: the call to ask about me or how it was doing.

1044
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 2: It was sad, but I ignored the feeling and just brushed

1045
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 2: it off as my warmones. Nikes. Dude, this is crazy.

1046
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 1: Why is it a competition to see who has the

1047
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 1: more difficult pregnancy?

1048
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 2: Dude, I don't know, just something to complain about. I

1049
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 2: feel like a lot of people just want something to

1050
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 2: complain about. Yeah, if they don't, they're gonna find it.

1051
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 2: I cannot be around those people.

1052
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 7: It just ugh.

1053
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 2: I have become that person before, and I tried to

1054
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 2: not become that person. Sometimes it just happens, but.

1055
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 1: Sometimes you don't recognize it when it's happened. The fact

1056
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: that you can look back on it and recognize it

1057
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 1: means there was character growth there and that you're not

1058
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 1: that person anymore.

1059
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 2: Well, he comes back sometimes, but dude, this is so sad.

1060
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: He imagine sleeping on a mattress on the floor and

1061
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: having to pay that much in rent.

1062
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 2: But that's no, No, they're just using you to pay

1063
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 2: the bills. They don't. I don't think they really care

1064
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 2: about you.

1065
00:49:55,960 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 1: Ov they care about Opie's ability to caretake and prov Yeah,

1066
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: but not their personhood.

1067
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's a good point. On December twentieth, my

1068
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,799
Speaker 2: mother was set to get surgery on her spine due

1069
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 2: to her hernius she had in advance. I had to

1070
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 2: voice to both my mom and grandma that I wouldn't

1071
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 2: be able to be at the hospital two days in

1072
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 2: a row since I was literally thirty six weeks pregnant

1073
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 2: at the time and it would be really difficult and

1074
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 2: stressful for me and the baby, and that I also

1075
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 2: had to work. So we settled that I would be

1076
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 2: there on the twenty first, since she was going to

1077
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 2: get discharged that day and needed some help and someone

1078
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 2: to take her home. Well, the day of surgery, my

1079
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 2: grandma starts blowing out my phone saying that I'm a

1080
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 2: bad daughter to my mother since I am not there

1081
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 2: for her, and start saying that I should be going

1082
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 2: with my mother. During my pregnancy, I had really bad anxiety,

1083
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,839
Speaker 2: which I still have, and started crying and got an

1084
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 2: anxiety attack to the point that I started getting bracks

1085
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 2: and hicks. That's crazy. What is that the thing? It's

1086
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 2: like bumps and stuff on you where you have such

1087
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 2: a badding an anxiety attack. That's what I think it is.

1088
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 3: I don't know for sure, but I think it's something

1089
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 3: about like early contractions pretty much. God, it's not actually

1090
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 3: the baby's not actually coming, but it's like painful contractions.

1091
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 2: And she's right.

1092
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: It's false labor or sporadic contractions, practice contractions, or false labor.

1093
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 2: On the twenty first, I went over to the hospital

1094
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 2: to get my mom and had to wait about three

1095
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:28,759
Speaker 2: hours until she got discharged. I took her to my

1096
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 2: grandma's and went home. It's important to say that my

1097
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 2: mother has severe anxiety depression and his bipolar. During this time,

1098
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 2: she stopped taking her medication til the twenty eighth of December,

1099
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,919
Speaker 2: which sent her in a spiral. I was called by

1100
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 2: my grandmother to calm my mom down because my mother

1101
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 2: pushed her and started packing her stuff. She didn't want

1102
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 2: her to get hurt because she was supposed to be

1103
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:55,879
Speaker 2: in complete rest mode during recovery. I got over there

1104
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 2: and my mother starts yelling at me and says that

1105
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 2: I left her like a stray dog in the hospital,

1106
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 2: and a lot of other things that I'd rather not say.

1107
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 2: It's absolutely sucked to hear those things, but I didn't

1108
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 2: blame her because she wasn't on her medication. There's the

1109
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 2: life source that these vampires are sucking from op.

1110
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 1: It's her fault for not being on her meds. Yeah,

1111
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,839
Speaker 1: And I understand that people sometimes don't want to take

1112
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 1: their meds because of how it makes them feel, but

1113
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,359
Speaker 1: that's a choice on you sometimes.

1114
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and could she have meds after surgery? Well, she

1115
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 2: not like able to. That's my other question, like, if

1116
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 2: you had a surgery done on your spine, can you

1117
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 2: even take these meds?

1118
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:33,759
Speaker 1: That's a good point.

1119
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 2: On January sixth, I gave birth right after midnight and

1120
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 2: waited until the morning to let everyone know. I was

1121
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 2: in the hospital until the eighth and no one for

1122
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 2: my family showed up. The only one that went was

1123
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 2: my little brother. I was hit with every excuse in

1124
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,280
Speaker 2: the book and just said it's okay because I didn't

1125
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 2: know what else to say. After giving birth, it was

1126
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 2: the same thing, calling to know what's going on with

1127
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 2: my brother, my sister to tell me their problems, and

1128
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 2: not actually knowing about me. In April, my mom had

1129
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 2: another surgery and the same expectations were had. Although I

1130
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 2: was taking care of my baby and couldn't leave him

1131
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 2: with anyone, I went to the hospital with my baby,

1132
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 2: where I had an anxiety attack because they told me,

1133
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be able to see my mom because I

1134
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,399
Speaker 2: had my baby with me, which I understood, but at

1135
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 2: the moment it was devastating because I was expected to

1136
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 2: make sure my mom was okay. But my grandma they

1137
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 2: let me see her for a few minutes. And then

1138
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 2: I go about a month and a half ago, my

1139
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 2: uncle was in the hospital because of his diabetes, and

1140
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,399
Speaker 2: I was the one my grandma called to be there

1141
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 2: and figure out what was going on. To get to

1142
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 2: my mom and my uncle. There were no excuses, they

1143
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 2: were there for them. I was literally a fifteen minute

1144
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 2: car ride from my grandma when I gave birth, and no,

1145
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,080
Speaker 2: they didn't show up for me. And for the people

1146
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 2: that always speak on how important family is, I haven't

1147
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 2: felt like family in a very long time because you're

1148
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 2: a family member, but you're not a family member to them.

1149
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 2: No one has ever made an effort for me. But

1150
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 2: I make the effort for everyone else, and none of

1151
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 2: them do it for me. I take everyone's burdens and

1152
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 2: fix them. I have time and time again to try

1153
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,879
Speaker 2: to set boundaries, but they break them, and on top

1154
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,400
Speaker 2: of everything, I fall back into helping even when I

1155
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 2: try not to. Because my Grandma starts chatting my ear

1156
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 2: off about how ungrateful and selfish I am, or how

1157
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:21,800
Speaker 2: one am abandoning the family.

1158
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 1: I pay for like a live in nurse when you

1159
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:25,360
Speaker 1: can have one for free.

1160
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you can guilt one for free.

1161
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 4: Oh?

1162
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Yeah, that's even worse, dude.

1163
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 2: At this point, I'm thinking of taking space from my

1164
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 2: family because I feel like I am not seen as family,

1165
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 2: but as someone they can use. Currently, I'm dealing with

1166
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 2: postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, and I feel like every

1167
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 2: time I speak to them, my anxiety goes through the roof,

1168
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,879
Speaker 2: and I need to prioritize my baby and my well being,

1169
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 2: and right now I know they're not good for me. Honestly,

1170
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm being unreasonable for taking care

1171
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,719
Speaker 2: of my mental health in this form. By the way,

1172
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,320
Speaker 2: at the beginning was giving context to what was expected

1173
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,359
Speaker 2: of me. I don't hold any resentment towards what I

1174
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 2: had to contribute. It's just messed up how much I

1175
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,760
Speaker 2: had to contribute, apart from doing laundry for everyone, cleaning

1176
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 2: and taking care of my brother. Oh my gosh, this

1177
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 2: is crazy. This is so bad. I'm so sorry, Obie.

1178
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:22,920
Speaker 1: This is putting too much expectation on a family member,

1179
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:25,359
Speaker 1: like you wouldn't do this to someone like you would

1180
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 1: pay to take care of the family, Like they wouldn't

1181
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 1: take it. So the fact that you are a family

1182
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:34,360
Speaker 1: is just giving them that wiggle room, yeah, to abuse

1183
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 1: you like that, because it's again with that idea of

1184
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,879
Speaker 1: it's for the family, so you have to do it, like, yes,

1185
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 1: family comes first, but you're not family at this point.

1186
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 2: Yeah you're the help. Yeah Yeah, they're just treating you

1187
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 2: like you're the help. Yeah awesome, Ashley, leave and take

1188
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 2: your brother with you. I think that might be the

1189
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 2: best move here. I just go no contact, pull the funding.

1190
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 2: They're just gonna guilt you. Yeah, change your number, change

1191
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:00,360
Speaker 2: where you live, just be like you're not respect me.

1192
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 2: And honestly, I think taking six months away from them.

1193
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 2: Dutchess says, either they need to come halfway in your

1194
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 2: relationship or those relationships were destined to fail. Oh, destined

1195
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 2: to fell anywhere.

1196
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,959
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Yeah, it's not gonna get better from here

1197
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,359
Speaker 1: because they've gotten away with it so far, and every

1198
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 1: single time OPI has done what is right for the

1199
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: family and has never had any pushback. So there's no

1200
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:28,399
Speaker 1: expectation from the rest of the relatives that OP would

1201
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 1: ever take time for themselves.

1202
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:29,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1203
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 1: I think the kicker is that no one came to

1204
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,320
Speaker 1: support OP when OP had their baby.

1205
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 2: That is true, that's I think the no one visited,

1206
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:37,760
Speaker 2: no one came to hell.

1207
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 1: If at least they came to support there is at

1208
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 1: least some expectation that if OPI needed it, they would

1209
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 1: be there to support, that there is the support system,

1210
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 1: and that yes, it's rough that everyone needs her.

1211
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:52,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like there is no support system there.

1212
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,839
Speaker 1: It's just I need this and you need to be here.

1213
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,320
Speaker 2: Hey's John Og host. We're gonna get back to the stories,

1214
00:56:57,360 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 2: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1215
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:02,239
Speaker 5: I was planning to surprise my girlfriend, but what I

1216
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 5: discovered surprised me instead. Oh, surprise, surprise. My girlfriend, twenty

1217
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,960
Speaker 5: eight female and I twenty eight male, have been together

1218
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 5: for two years and this summer I was planning on

1219
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 5: proposing to her. I wanted to make a special gift

1220
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 5: for one that showed the progression of our relationship from

1221
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:23,680
Speaker 5: our first texts on hinged together to photos of us.

1222
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from wedding delay and if

1223
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 5: you want to spend your own stories, go to the

1224
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 5: r slash Okay storytime, separate it. I wanted it to

1225
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 5: be a surprise for her, and I was looking through

1226
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 5: her Google photos because it has all the pictures of

1227
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,919
Speaker 5: us together. While I was searching for pics of us,

1228
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 5: spicy picks from her ex came up. Even videos. I

1229
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 5: don't know what to say. The guy is packing, and

1230
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 5: on top of that, of the clips they have, oh,

1231
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 5: I don't know why they did okay.

1232
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 2: Okay, bye surprise.

1233
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 5: And on top of that, of the clips they have together,

1234
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 5: why were you watching so? Okay?

1235
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 8: Oh?

1236
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 5: God, noises and stuff she has never made with me.

1237
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 8: Oh like oh brother, like animal sounds or oh she's

1238
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 8: like gobble.

1239
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 2: She sounds like an old JALAPPI.

1240
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 5: Well, you know, maybe maybe she's faking it.

1241
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 2: Hang hang out.

1242
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,800
Speaker 5: Maybe maybe I don't know.

1243
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 2: And now you're ruined forever.

1244
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 5: Let alone. The idea of even ever sending me spicy

1245
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 5: picks of herself. She told me she would never do that.

1246
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 5: I don't know. This whole thing just hit me like

1247
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 5: a ton of bricks. I thought I knew my girlfriend

1248
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 5: loved her, then find this backed up and honestly, it

1249
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 5: just took all of my excitement and romance out of

1250
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 5: our relationship. And a bit of background about this guy.

1251
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 5: They were never boyfriend girlfriend from what she said, they

1252
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 5: were just friends with benefits. And to me, I don't know,

1253
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 5: it just makes it more insulting, Like I get the

1254
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 5: idea of she did that with someone she was super

1255
00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 5: serious about. But this guy, from what she said, just

1256
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:02,440
Speaker 5: spends his time at the gym and going to bars

1257
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:05,440
Speaker 5: and clubs. I don't know what to say. I was

1258
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 5: ninety percent done with the gift. Now I don't know

1259
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 5: what to do. I don't want to lose her and

1260
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 5: break up with her, but the expite, but the excitement

1261
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 5: of spending our life together is gone.

1262
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 8: Brother, your ego is way too fragile. Yeah, gonna just

1263
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 8: put that out there. A conversation with her, there's a

1264
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 8: people things you can do.

1265
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 5: She doesn't owe you spicy picks. It's weird that she

1266
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,800
Speaker 5: kept them, and that's like a conversation that you can have.

1267
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 8: Well, I think it's more that he's just like, I'm

1268
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 8: not the best ever that she's ever yea ever, and

1269
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 8: it's like.

1270
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 5: It's like I don't know, like he's saying this like oh, well,

1271
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 5: if she were in a serious relationship, I could understand.

1272
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 2: It's how can I compare to that?

1273
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:47,000
Speaker 5: I feel like it kind of takes more sense that

1274
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 5: she did that outside of a serious relationship, because she's like,

1275
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 5: I didn't really you know, it was just physical.

1276
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:55,440
Speaker 2: She's dating man.

1277
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 5: I'm just hurt. I haven't told her about this. I

1278
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 5: just have been trying to deal with this myself the

1279
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 5: best I can. What do I do from here? If

1280
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 5: I tell her what I saw, it will completely ruin

1281
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 5: the scrap book and engagement surprise. And I don't even know.

1282
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 5: Is it normal to have stuff like that of your ex?

1283
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,360
Speaker 5: I don't I know. But then again, I've never made

1284
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:18,360
Speaker 5: clips of an ex either. Also, what do I do

1285
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 5: about the Spicy Sleep part? I feel more and more

1286
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 5: insecure about my equipment. Our Spicy Sleep was nothing like

1287
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 5: what was there on the video. Just looking for guidance,

1288
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 5: and there are some comments. My first thought is one,

1289
01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 5: I mean, she's with you. She's with you. She's not

1290
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:39,120
Speaker 5: with this guy. She's with you. It is weird that

1291
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 5: she has pictures and videos of her ex or X

1292
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,920
Speaker 5: situation whatever. That's weird, and that's a conversation that you

1293
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 5: can have. But Also, if you're so concerned about like

1294
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 5: your spicy sleep life in comparison to his, ask her

1295
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 5: you know what she wants? Have you talked about what

1296
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:56,720
Speaker 5: she wants?

1297
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 2: You know?

1298
01:00:57,640 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 8: Jump people are like that and then it's just like

1299
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 8: a thing where it's like, Okay, I guess that's your thing.

1300
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 8: And if I don't have that, what there's that she

1301
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 8: wouldn't be with you.

1302
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 5: If that was her thing exactly, you know?

1303
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:11,200
Speaker 8: So I don't know, man, It just comes down to,

1304
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 8: like you gotta have a conversation.

1305
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:19,280
Speaker 5: Comments come in. One. One detail you haven't mentioned were

1306
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 5: those pics and videos before you and her got together

1307
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:25,520
Speaker 5: or after? Because if it was before you and her

1308
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 5: got together, then you're going to have a talk with

1309
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 5: her about her past and then put it behind you

1310
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 5: also work out more. But if those picks and VIDs

1311
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 5: were after you and her became a couple, then break

1312
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 5: up with her, make a scrap book that finishes with

1313
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 5: her cheating, then dumper. No one deserves to be cheated on,

1314
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,280
Speaker 5: and all cheaters should pass away alone. Oh P says

1315
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,480
Speaker 5: it was before we were together, but she has a

1316
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 5: screenshot of a text between them that was after we

1317
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 5: had already started talking. Oh well, okay talking, Okay, that's whatever.

1318
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:58,800
Speaker 5: Comment to a relationship isn't built on spicy sleep alone.

1319
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,000
Speaker 5: There is a reason she's not with that guy and

1320
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:05,320
Speaker 5: she's with you. Instead of feeling down, realize you already

1321
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:08,040
Speaker 5: have an advantage. She picked you and she's with you.

1322
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 5: Size is something you have or don't have, instead of

1323
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:15,760
Speaker 5: focusing on what someone else has and you don't realize

1324
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 5: size also comes with problems. Maybe maybe she was tired

1325
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 5: of dealing with that. If I ran into this situation,

1326
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 5: it would be challenge accepted. You are a man, and

1327
01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 5: if you really love her, up your game. Become curious

1328
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,280
Speaker 5: instead of thinking you know what to do, become the learner,

1329
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 5: own every part of her what I don't. Okay, OPI says,

1330
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 5: I don't think she didn't date that guy because she

1331
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,680
Speaker 5: declined he was the one that didn't want to settle

1332
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 5: down and sleep around. Uh doesn't really matter, doesn't.

1333
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 2: Really being like am I? Just like second Breakfast?

1334
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 5: No sir? Common three classic case of alpha seed versus

1335
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:55,640
Speaker 5: beta niche. She will do things with Slash for him

1336
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 5: that she'll never do with you, but she'll be more

1337
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:59,520
Speaker 5: than happy to spend your money and live in your house.

1338
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 5: What is this person talking about?

1339
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 2: Comments?

1340
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 5: What?

1341
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:06,120
Speaker 2: It's fine the rest of the story here.

1342
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, none of these comments are good story.

1343
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 8: The comments are basically like, you know that there's other

1344
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:15,720
Speaker 8: things you can do, right and op He's probably like,

1345
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:16,600
Speaker 8: what do you mean?

1346
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:23,280
Speaker 5: Update? So, guys, I honestly was mentally fried, but I

1347
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 5: needed to talk to my girlfriend. I was hoping I

1348
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 5: would be in better shape to talk to her, but

1349
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 5: after not being able to sleep. Well everything is going

1350
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:33,240
Speaker 5: to be summarized, but this conversation went from six pm

1351
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 5: to four a m. I told her that I wanted

1352
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:38,320
Speaker 5: to talk to her, that I was making her a

1353
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,160
Speaker 5: scrap book of our events together and I found the

1354
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 5: pictures of her and her ex and videos. She starts saying,

1355
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 5: oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm meant to delete them.

1356
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 5: I told her, basically, they're burned in my brain now, which.

1357
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 8: Is your fault, because you could have you chose to

1358
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:54,960
Speaker 8: watch those?

1359
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, why did you watch them? You watch them? I

1360
01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:00,520
Speaker 5: talked to her about it. I told her flat out

1361
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 5: hurt and that there were two parts. One the fact

1362
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 5: that she enjoyed it more with him. Again, she was

1363
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 5: probably playing it up with the camera dude and two,

1364
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:10,840
Speaker 5: that she did things in bed with him that she

1365
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:13,880
Speaker 5: never did with me. She starts telling me that it's different,

1366
01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:16,320
Speaker 5: that they were just friends with benefits, that she just

1367
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:18,959
Speaker 5: went for hotness, not for other traits, that I'm way

1368
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:21,919
Speaker 5: smarter than him. I asked her. If that's the case,

1369
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:24,520
Speaker 5: then why was she begging him to be exclusive with her.

1370
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:27,680
Speaker 5: She said that it was just because her brain was dumb,

1371
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 5: that so many girls were hooking up with the Sky,

1372
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 5: that she felt it was a competition. I asked her

1373
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:34,960
Speaker 5: too about the other stuff in bed. She told me

1374
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:37,800
Speaker 5: that spicy sleep is different with him, and that it's

1375
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:41,240
Speaker 5: different too with a friends with benefits and a boyfriend.

1376
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,320
Speaker 5: I asked her that if they did become exclusive and

1377
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 5: start dating, would she stop doing those things? And she says,

1378
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:48,720
Speaker 5: it's impossible to.

1379
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 8: Say so stupid, right, yeahvant she just needs to be like, yeah,

1380
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:58,760
Speaker 8: he did have better game than you, It doesn't matter

1381
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 8: because I'm with you.

1382
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 5: We talked more and more, and it seemed that her

1383
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 5: way of assuring me seemed to be in telling me

1384
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 5: everything that I provide to her. Oh that I'm super

1385
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 5: smart and that our kids would be smart too, Oh,

1386
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:10,920
Speaker 5: that I have a good job, that my family is

1387
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 5: super sweet, nothing about oh I just want for you,

1388
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 5: I want you for you, or any spicy aspect that

1389
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 5: you are so schmexy. After the talk, I told her

1390
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,040
Speaker 5: that I was going to stay over at my brother's apartment.

1391
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:26,320
Speaker 5: She begged me to stay. We talked more and more,

1392
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:28,840
Speaker 5: and I told her too that I was planning on proposing.

1393
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 5: Because she started pressing why. I was looking through her

1394
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:35,080
Speaker 5: drive and I showed her what I made so far.

1395
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:35,720
Speaker 1: Yie.

1396
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,720
Speaker 5: At my brother's place, I talked to him and he

1397
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 5: told me one that I'll love again, that I can

1398
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 5: have the same feelings, if not more. Two that not

1399
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:46,840
Speaker 5: all women are like this, not all of them make

1400
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:49,920
Speaker 5: spicy sleep tapes with friends with benefits what.

1401
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 2: Your brother sucks doing.

1402
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 5: Your brother sucks too. Three He told me that the

1403
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 5: biggest red flag was the fact that she gives more

1404
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:02,320
Speaker 5: to spicy sleep with casual partners than she does with

1405
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 5: the guy that she's to her future husband. I hate

1406
01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:06,919
Speaker 5: your brother. I literally hate your brother.

1407
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:08,479
Speaker 2: None of that makes any sense.

1408
01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 8: She's not only doing this because she could tell Okay,

1409
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 8: he's really in a fragile state right now, and she

1410
01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 8: felt like she couldn't just say yeah, yes, it was.

1411
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:20,520
Speaker 5: Better, and don't bother asking because you want her to

1412
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 5: want to do it, not beg for it.

1413
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 4: Four.

1414
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 5: Only stay if I feel things with her are truly special,

1415
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:30,280
Speaker 5: that there are some circumstances in her and this relationship

1416
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:32,360
Speaker 5: I won't be able to find in another woman.

1417
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:33,400
Speaker 2: Five.

1418
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:35,560
Speaker 5: No matter what happens, this would be on the back

1419
01:06:35,600 --> 01:06:38,400
Speaker 5: of my mind and haunt me if I choose to stay.

1420
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:41,680
Speaker 5: I thought about a relationship and it was tough. Had

1421
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:44,120
Speaker 5: I been younger, breaking up would have been easier, but

1422
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:47,200
Speaker 5: now it was much tougher to let go. I hate you.

1423
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 5: I thought about my own mental state and realized that

1424
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 5: I would much rather start fresh with someone. I talked

1425
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 5: to my girlfriend and I told her we were done.

1426
01:06:56,280 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 5: Oh this is giving small pep energy.

1427
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:02,880
Speaker 2: It shown Yeah, yeah, I don't even.

1428
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 5: Need to know anything else. I know it's giving swompype energy.

1429
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,360
Speaker 5: This led to a lot of tears, crying, and more

1430
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,640
Speaker 5: tears back and forth. She started spam calling me, but

1431
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:14,560
Speaker 5: I needed to do it. I got a phone call

1432
01:07:14,560 --> 01:07:16,280
Speaker 5: from her mom telling me that we have so much

1433
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:20,080
Speaker 5: history to please reconsider it. I had mutual friends reach

1434
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:24,520
Speaker 5: out to me. It's been crazy, little sad face. I

1435
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:26,400
Speaker 5: don't know if in ten years I'll look back and

1436
01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:28,840
Speaker 5: say this was a huge mistake. I don't know if

1437
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:31,320
Speaker 5: my next girlfriend might even have even worse things on

1438
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:35,439
Speaker 5: our Google Cloud account. Stop looking at people's Google Cloud accounts.

1439
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 5: I don't know, but I know that this relationship was

1440
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 5: hurting my mental state too much. Okay, all right, bye,

1441
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:46,040
Speaker 5: go bye, Go be with someone who's never been in

1442
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 5: a relationship.

1443
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:48,680
Speaker 1: I guess what's going through your brain.

1444
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:50,920
Speaker 2: Just if it's like.

1445
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:54,040
Speaker 5: I'm just shocked that the one thing that I would

1446
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:57,320
Speaker 5: give him, like you know that I would be on

1447
01:07:57,400 --> 01:07:59,919
Speaker 5: his side about, which is her having the pictures still

1448
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,760
Speaker 5: on her phone. Yeah, he's not even that upset about.

1449
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,600
Speaker 7: This guy's so caught up on the fact that, like,

1450
01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:10,360
Speaker 7: clearly this guy's packing and he's like, I can't do it,

1451
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:14,120
Speaker 7: and she just needs to be like, you're right, he was, he.

1452
01:08:14,160 --> 01:08:18,880
Speaker 8: Had more, but but there's more to do it than that.

1453
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:19,400
Speaker 5: My God,