1 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 1: Personally Fuelsman. It's the start of a new series, one 2 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,759 Speaker 1: that I hope helps us all become not only better humans, 3 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: but also the truest versions of ourselves. This week, we're 4 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: focused on the Say It Now Movement, why it's important, 5 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: and how it can greatly impact our lives. The best part, 6 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: it's something you can do starting right after you finished 7 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: this episode. Let's get into it. I'm joined this week 8 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: by Walter Green. He is the Say It Now Movement founder. 9 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 1: He's a lecturer at Warton and he's an author and 10 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: has just done a whole lot of things with his life, 11 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: which I'm excited to get into. Walter, how are you great? 12 00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 2: So it's a pleasure being with you. 13 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me. I'm excited to talk to you 14 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 1: about a lot of things, but I want to start first. 15 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: You went from a CEO and chairman for twenty five 16 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: years to now focus on this movement and investing time 17 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: in it. So tell me why the switch and what 18 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: all happened there. 19 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll let you kind of compress twenty five years 20 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 2: pretty quickly. Yeah. I had been working since I was thirteen. 21 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 2: Long story. My father died when he was fifty three 22 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 2: from a heart attack. So I thought, I'm fifty eight 23 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 2: and fifty nine, and maybe I should think about other 24 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,919 Speaker 2: things that I might want to do with my life. 25 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 2: And so I sold my company at age fifty nine. 26 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 2: And really the last chapter I described life in three chapters. 27 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 2: One was finding myself, the second was in my business career, 28 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 2: making something of myself, and then the third chapter is 29 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 2: becoming who I've probably always wanted to be. So I 30 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 2: really love this chapter. It's yeah, they're about almost three 31 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,919 Speaker 2: decades at length, so they're long chapters. 32 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,399 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there is, but I want to know what 33 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 1: categorizes them into each chapter. How old were you and 34 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: when did you start this last chapter? Kind of give 35 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: me some of those details of the three life chapters 36 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: as you named them. 37 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so the first one was kind of like one 38 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 2: to each twenty nine, and then the next one was 39 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 2: twenty nine to fifty eight, and the last one was 40 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 2: fifty eight eighty seven. They really are very distinct and 41 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 2: very different. Some challenging, some hard work, and some a 42 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 2: lot of joy. And I would say the last third 43 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 2: has been filled with an enormous amount of meeting, even 44 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 2: though I got great satisfaction in my business career as well, 45 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 2: I would. 46 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: Like to know, because you mentioned that this is your 47 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: potentially your best chapter yet that you've been in is 48 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: up partially because of creating the movement that you did 49 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: and what you're passionate about now. Is that a part 50 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: to that story. 51 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: Sure, it's a part of the story, But I would 52 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 2: say the last chapter, I've really spent almost all my 53 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:23,799 Speaker 2: time on serving others, whether it's through nonprofits or mentoring 54 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 2: or my men's groups, or ultimately discovering this rather remarkable 55 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 2: aspect of my life that I hadn't fully appreciated, was 56 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 2: led to this founding of the movement, And it would 57 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 2: be less in candid if I didn't say I've been 58 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 2: rather excited about the impact of the movement, but it 59 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 2: had a lot of other things other than just the 60 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 2: creation of the movement. But I would say in the 61 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 2: last seventeen years, it was the intensified effort to create 62 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 2: awareness about. 63 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: What that was. Tell me about this movement. So the 64 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: say It Now movement is very much I would imagine, 65 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: inspired from some things that you went through in your life. 66 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: You mentioned the passing of your dad. Is that a 67 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: part to that story as well? 68 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, So there are several parts I would say, first, 69 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,600 Speaker 2: I really didn't. We moved I think it was thirteen 70 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 2: different cities by the time I was eighteen, so I 71 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,679 Speaker 2: never really had any friends. I missed them, but didn't 72 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 2: have any, so that made an impact on me. Wow, 73 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 2: must be nice to have them. The second one was 74 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 2: getting a call when I was a freshman at school. 75 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 2: I needed to come home and my father had died 76 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 2: that day, So that was another impact that really life 77 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,599 Speaker 2: is unpredictable. He was in his early fifties, and that 78 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 2: was another big deal. I then really began to make 79 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 2: some friends. So later on when I was in my 80 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 2: mid thirties, and so by the time I was fifty, 81 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 2: I wanted to celebrate them, so I brought them together 82 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 2: for my fiftieth birthday. There were five guys, so I 83 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 2: invited my close family and we had seventeen people. Spent 84 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 2: a whole weekend in New York and the first part 85 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,919 Speaker 2: of that weekend was for me to pay tribute to 86 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 2: each one and what they had meant to me in 87 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 2: my life. And that was the first time I got 88 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 2: chills just now, this is thirty seven years ago, just 89 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 2: the joyfulness of acknowledging people who had been important to me, 90 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 2: and also that it was gratifying to them as well. 91 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 2: But that was really the first wake up call to 92 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: the power of expressing gratitude to people who shaped our lives. 93 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 2: I'm not talking about incident a nice things. I'm talking 94 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 2: about people who really made a difference in our life. 95 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 2: And any of your listeners are self made, they should 96 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 2: let me know, because I haven't met anybody yet, So 97 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 2: my guess is maybe they had a little help along 98 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 2: the way by somebody. I then was touched by some 99 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 2: funerals of rather remarkable people. It was a Tim Russard, 100 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 2: who was a moderator and meet the press. I think 101 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 2: that made a enormous impact on me. There must have 102 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 2: been fifteen hundred people at his funeral. The tributes paid 103 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 2: to him were unbelievable, unbelievable, And Yeah, when the funeral 104 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 2: was over, I had a bittersweet feeling. I'm thinking, I 105 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 2: don't think Tim ever heard this. 106 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you mentioned bringing up your birthday that you 107 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 1: decided to celebrate these friends of yours that obviously became 108 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: very important to you, especially given what you say about 109 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: your childhood and not getting to really create friendships and 110 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: have those type of relationships It's very rare that people 111 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: will often take a moment of celebratation that's for them 112 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 1: to then turn around and say, hey, I want to 113 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: celebrate the people who mean a lot to me, So 114 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: tell me about that behind behind the idea. 115 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was all part of this realization that our 116 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 2: culture waits for people to die and then we stand 117 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 2: up and we worked so hard at paying tribute to them. 118 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 2: It really seemed rather rather strange, and I came to 119 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 2: the conclusion I didn't want that to be part of 120 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 2: my life. Maybe that was custom made no sense to me, 121 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 2: And so I decided for my seventieth birthday that I 122 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 2: would ask my wife for a gift to be able 123 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 2: to travel around the United States and abroad to sit 124 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 2: down with everybody had been important in my life, everybody 125 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 2: who was still alive, that is, and to sit down 126 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 2: and tell them what they had meant to me. And 127 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 2: that was a profound experience, and that just magnified the obviousness. Morgan, 128 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,239 Speaker 2: I can tell you this idea is not only simple, 129 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 2: but it's powerful. And I thought, really the years after 130 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 2: I wrote the book called This Is the Moment, How 131 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 2: one man's year long journey captured the power of extraordinary gratitude. 132 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 2: Where I told everybody about this idea I had that 133 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 2: I took a year off what I said, and the 134 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 2: last third of the book was, hey, listen, now, think 135 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 2: about your lives, think about somebody who's been important in 136 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 2: your life, and tried to inspire them. And that was 137 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 2: seventeen years ago. I've always expected someone to say, well, 138 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 2: there was this movement or that movement, and they've been 139 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 2: doing this for you. Guess what, It's been silent. I've 140 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 2: never heard anybody awaken people to the importance of expressing 141 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 2: gratitude for specific things that shape their life. Many people 142 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 2: do it at celebrations of life, and many people do 143 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 2: it at funerals. I am hopeful that people listening today 144 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 2: we will join this. Really what's become now a global 145 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 2: movement where we crossed fifteen million expressions of gratitude in 146 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 2: the last four years when I decided to make it 147 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 2: a global movement. It's unlikely that any of us will 148 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 2: ever regret what we've said. Very true, but highly unlikely 149 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 2: we will regret what we kept to ourselves. 150 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 1: You say that in talking about funerals, and I really 151 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: think about a lot of the funerals that I've been to, 152 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:38,079 Speaker 1: and how many people do stand at that podium and 153 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: they admit and say, I wish I would have said 154 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,839 Speaker 1: this more in person, or I wish that they had 155 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 1: known how I felt, or I wish the last time 156 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,439 Speaker 1: I talked to him, I said I love you. And 157 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,200 Speaker 1: it was a funeral when I was really young, I 158 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: very much remember going to a funeral of a classmate. 159 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: I was very young in middle school, maybe lay elementary 160 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: schoo and a kid had committed suicide, and our whole 161 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,319 Speaker 1: school went to the funeral, and I remember one of 162 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: his parents saying, please make sure every time you hang 163 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 1: up the phone or you stop talking to me somebody, 164 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: that the last thing you say is I love you, 165 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: every time. And that really instilled something in me the 166 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: experience of what was happening in that moment, and just 167 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: of course the loss of someone way too young and 168 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: these parents going through that grief. And to this day, 169 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: every time i'm endo conversation with somebody that I care 170 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: about that I is deeply involved in my life, whether 171 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: it's a partner, a friend, my parents, I always say 172 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 1: I love you, And that has always really mattered to 173 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 1: me that I say those things, even if I hang up. Actually, 174 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: don't say it. I'll call it back and say, hey, 175 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 1: I love you, by the way, just in case you forgot, 176 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: and I have a feeling that's That's a lot of 177 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 1: what you're speaking to here is that you don't ever 178 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: have to go saying I wish I would have said this, you. 179 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:14,959 Speaker 2: Know, And the secret sauce in this case is in 180 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 2: addition to the expression of affection, my specific request is 181 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 2: that you enrich the expression with some acknowledgment. I'm not 182 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 2: saying every phone call you're going to do this, but 183 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 2: periodically you stay current and that you make sure everybody 184 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 2: who's impacted your life understands the impact I had on 185 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 2: your life. That's it. That's staying current. And the more 186 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 2: specific you are, the more powerful the gift. And here's 187 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 2: the thing, Morgan, you do this podcast, I assume one 188 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 2: reason is because you want to make a difference very much, 189 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 2: so matter right. 190 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I want people well to feel connected. I want 191 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 1: people to feel seen, and I very much want them 192 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: to feel like this podcast helped them in one way 193 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: or another, which is a big reason why I had 194 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: you on today because I felt like this was important. 195 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 2: Let's just begin with the simplicity of it. Number one, 196 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:22,839 Speaker 2: I've already established that there's unlikely anyone listening that's done 197 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 2: it all by themselves. So most of them have had 198 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 2: parents that contributed, maybe grandparents, maybe teachers. Maybe there's a coach, 199 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 2: maybe there's a friend. But most likely, somewhere along the line, 200 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 2: somebody has made a difference in your life. Now here's 201 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 2: the other thing. They probably do not appreciate the difference 202 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 2: they made in your life. Now here's the problem or 203 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 2: the opportunity. They made a difference, they don't fully appreciate it. 204 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 2: So who has the gift? The person who is a beneficiary. 205 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 2: So you can keep the gift in your closet and 206 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 2: never give it to anybody. Just leave it there and 207 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,439 Speaker 2: then feel the regret, Oh my gosh, I should have 208 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 2: given that gift. Or just take a moment right now 209 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 2: while we're on this podcast, people think, who is it? 210 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 2: What happens? If something unexpectedly happened to that person tomorrow, 211 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 2: how would we feel. So we have the unique position 212 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,960 Speaker 2: to validate that a person's life mattered. Maybe you can 213 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 2: say to yourself, I'm pretty special and I've done some 214 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 2: nice things in the world. But the reality is the 215 00:13:54,800 --> 00:14:02,319 Speaker 2: validation comes from others now. If they don't express it, 216 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 2: it's a gift that's never given. And the one thing 217 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,679 Speaker 2: we want to die with is knowing that our life mattered. 218 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 2: No more complicated than that. We can get into the 219 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 2: variety of ways you could do it, but we're caring 220 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 2: with us the greatest gift that we could give to 221 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 2: people we care about. In addition saying I love you 222 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 2: and I care about. 223 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: You, it is. It's more detailed than that, and it's 224 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: why it's such an important conversation because it feels weird 225 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: that even me just saying hey, I love you after 226 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: every phone call is seemingly difficult for people to understand 227 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: that's a necessity. But then taking it the step further 228 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: of what you're doing with the say it now movement 229 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: to say hey, I really want you to show appreciation 230 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 1: for the people in your life and do it as 231 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: often as you can. Why do you feel like to 232 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: people that seems like like just such this foreign concept. 233 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: Why have we been ingrained to go our whole lives 234 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: with never saying anything or saying the things that we feel? 235 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 2: Custom is pretty strong? Yeah, custom is powerful. That's the 236 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 2: way it's been done. People watch how it's been done, 237 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 2: and since it's not customary and may feel a little awkward, 238 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 2: but it doesn't take long to get over that. 239 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: That's true if you've never given a random compliment before, 240 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 1: just to anybody, it's funny. Some of my friends and 241 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: I will do it to each other. I'd be like, hey, 242 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 1: we're talking about a memory, or we share a moment 243 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: in time, and both of us leave that with smiles 244 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: on our faces. You never leave a moment like that 245 00:15:54,400 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: with sadness or with anger. It's almost always when gratitude 246 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,880 Speaker 1: is expressed. Gratitude is what leaves with you. 247 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 2: Yes, I know you talked about that tragic situation of 248 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 2: the person who took his life. I think he mentioned 249 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 2: in the middle school. And we have a real issue 250 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 2: in this world now, where there's a lot of loneliness. 251 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 2: There's a lot of people who don't really feel they 252 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 2: make much difference, and most likely the people who take 253 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 2: their lives. I would say one element is that it 254 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 2: didn't think their lives mattered. That's not the only reason, 255 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 2: but it's a compelling reason. I'll never forget this story. 256 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 2: Very early on after my book came out, I got 257 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 2: an email from a young girl. I don't know how 258 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 2: old she was. I'm just assuming maybe twenties or thirties, 259 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 2: and she said that she was considering ending her life, 260 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 2: which was amazing because she wrote in an email to 261 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 2: literally a stranger. I was an author, but I was 262 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,640 Speaker 2: a stranger. And she said she had been abused when 263 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 2: she was younger from family members and she could never 264 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 2: deal with that and the implications to her. She happened 265 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 2: to pick up my book I don't know what it 266 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 2: was doing in a Philippine library after it was released, 267 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 2: and she read it and she realized, there are people 268 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 2: who have mattered in my life. She wrote me, I 269 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 2: don't know. Maybe a decade later and said she'd moved 270 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 2: to Scandinavia and she had been married and her life 271 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 2: has gone on, but at that moment she didn't really 272 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 2: feel her life mattered. We have a lot of adversarial 273 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 2: relationships these days. Everything seems to be we they, But 274 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:58,159 Speaker 2: gratitude is a solidifying force. It brings you closer to 275 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 2: people that you're already close to, but it adds a 276 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 2: dimension to the relationship. I had a story. I love 277 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 2: this story. A fellow called me. He said, well, I'm 278 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,400 Speaker 2: not sure how to do it, I said, doesn't really 279 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,160 Speaker 2: matter if it's in person and it's a little difficult, 280 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 2: why don't you just drop a note to the person? 281 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 2: Oh okay, And I hardly knew this person. About three 282 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 2: weeks later, he wrote me, I'd love to tell you 283 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,959 Speaker 2: what the experience was like. Now people marvel at how 284 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 2: much it means to the person doing it. You always think, oh, 285 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to express gratitude to the person so they 286 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:37,119 Speaker 2: all feel wonderful. Guess what, you probably feel more wonderful 287 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 2: in any case, he came back. He said, wealter. I 288 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,920 Speaker 2: wrote seventeen letters. And now at that point I had 289 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,679 Speaker 2: never known anybody write seventeen letters. So I wrote seventeen letters, 290 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 2: he said. One was to my sister, who I hadn't 291 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 2: spoken to in a year. Our relationship had been fractured. 292 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 2: But when I thought about it, I realized, you know what, 293 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 2: she was very important to me during stage in my life, 294 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 2: and we haven't talked. But I never forgot. Once I 295 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 2: reminded myself of her importance to me, I just wrote 296 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,479 Speaker 2: her a letter and told her what it meant. And 297 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 2: he said, rekindled that relationship. 298 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 1: Oh see, and that's what gratitude does. That's what the 299 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: power of gratitude is. It's not just belonging in the 300 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:29,639 Speaker 1: one who's giving the gratitude, but you're also receiving the 301 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,880 Speaker 1: gratitude on a level when you're giving it. And that's 302 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 1: such a huge part to that story. And that's why 303 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: I feel like gratitude is such a powerful I want 304 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,399 Speaker 1: to call it energy, and that's probably not the right word, 305 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 1: but it's such a powerful feeling to give gratitude and 306 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 1: to receive it that it can change our lives in 307 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,879 Speaker 1: a lot of ways, which is also what I think 308 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,520 Speaker 1: you're really the movement is around that and how much 309 00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 1: it impacts your life. When you talk about these very 310 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,639 Speaker 1: huge mind milestones in your life, your fiftieth and your seventieth, 311 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 1: and how you did things in a way that was 312 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: like seemingly giving back to the people who were important 313 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 1: to you, but you were also gaining in those experiences. 314 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: Big job, what lessons did you learn when you went 315 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: and did those things, Because maybe it will inspire some 316 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,920 Speaker 1: people to do something similar or something of their own 317 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,320 Speaker 1: that's this kind of big milestone to show gratitude. 318 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 2: My hope is that there are First of all, I 319 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 2: want to make this really simple. When you talk about gratitude, 320 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,200 Speaker 2: A lot of books written, gratitude journals and this and that. 321 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,760 Speaker 2: This idea is really, I promise you simple. So I'm 322 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 2: going to tell you how I did it, because somebody 323 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 2: else may say, you know what I can do that. 324 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 2: I definitely could do that. So I wrote the question 325 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 2: what difference did this person make? In my life? So 326 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,639 Speaker 2: remind this is when I went on my journey. Before 327 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 2: I went on the journey to visit anybody, I asked myself, 328 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 2: here we are legal pant, what difference did this person 329 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 2: make in my life? And I put bullet points about 330 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:15,199 Speaker 2: specific contributions to my life. That became the basis of 331 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 2: what I communicate. 332 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 1: Now. 333 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,920 Speaker 2: I did it in person, but you could easily take 334 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,160 Speaker 2: that and convert into a letter. So let's be really clear. 335 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 2: Number one, it's probably not hard to think of somebody, 336 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 2: probably more than one person right now. Just think of somebody, 337 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 2: hold that person, and then just spend a few minutes 338 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 2: thinking about what difference did that person make in my life? 339 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 2: Capture it. Then you can decide whether you want to 340 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 2: go visit him and tell him you want to send 341 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 2: it to him in a note that he could reread 342 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 2: he or she can reread and enjoy for many years, 343 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,679 Speaker 2: which I've done many times. You can send a little 344 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 2: video for a few minutes. Remember, it's not just I 345 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,880 Speaker 2: love you, thank you. It's specific as to what difference 346 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 2: a person made in your life. And here's a secret. 347 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:16,679 Speaker 2: It's free. I have nothing to sell. There is no 348 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 2: product here, and it doesn't take a long time. It 349 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 2: can take less than a half an hour, so it's quick. 350 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 2: It's free. It will enrich your life, it will enrich 351 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,240 Speaker 2: the relationship. All we have to do is get you 352 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:39,919 Speaker 2: on the bike, get you riding. Maybe you've never ridden before. 353 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,919 Speaker 2: We're going to have you get on the bike, and 354 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,160 Speaker 2: after you do it a couple of times, it becomes 355 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 2: the way you live now, Morgan, this is my dream 356 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:54,119 Speaker 2: for the movement. The program, the concept that we've talked 357 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 2: about today is now being taught in eighty three thousand 358 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 2: schools around the globe in eighty five countries. The reason 359 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 2: is these kids are going to learn how it works. 360 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:13,360 Speaker 2: As a child's still act unlearned. Oh my god, that's 361 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,400 Speaker 2: where I do it. I do it at funerals. Oh really, 362 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 2: I shouldn't do it at funeral How about teaching them 363 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,719 Speaker 2: that's the way it is. And my hope is in 364 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:27,920 Speaker 2: the long run that we live more intentionally and it's 365 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 2: the way we live. You don't have to say to yourself, oh, 366 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 2: I think I need to do it. That's just the 367 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 2: way you live. That's the way you live. So I 368 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,560 Speaker 2: recognize I'm getting down ahead. But we've had over fifteen 369 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 2: million people try it already. Yeah it works, I promise 370 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 2: you it works. And I have nothing to sell. 371 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: But the idea you talk about, just in general, the 372 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 1: state of the world that we're in, and sometimes we 373 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 1: get lost from the most basic things that can help us. 374 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 1: We stray and we get distracted. And I know personally 375 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 1: that I'm being impacted by technology and the hustle and 376 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: bustle of life and the things that we've all been 377 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 1: so ingrained into over time, right and that's what we're 378 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: in right now, is the state of the world we've created. 379 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: But when you really get back to it, the basic 380 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: things are what all of us need to make our 381 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 1: lives feel better and more enriched. Gratitude feels like on 382 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: the same basis of hey, get out and touch some grass, 383 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,160 Speaker 1: go take a walk, get out there. 384 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 2: Like very basic, but it's. 385 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 1: So important, and sometimes the basics are what we need 386 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 1: to be reminded of, and that's why it's important. It's 387 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: important to have a conversation around it much as it's 388 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: important to have a movement around it. Yeah, you're right, 389 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: I do too want to talk about as well, something 390 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 1: that also I feel like is in your realm of 391 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: things and experience that parasocial relationships are something that's very 392 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 1: much happening. Do you know what I'm talking about when 393 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 1: I mean parasocial relationships? 394 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 2: Paris social? 395 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 1: Yes, So when people basically through a screen, through a phone, 396 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 1: through a computer, feel like they have a relationship with 397 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,679 Speaker 1: someone they've never met before. Okay, And so there's a 398 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,879 Speaker 1: lot of people out there who a celebrity passes away 399 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:35,160 Speaker 1: and they feel insane grief and sadness and just things 400 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 1: that they didn't feel like they should feel over the 401 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: loss of someone that they didn't really know. But I 402 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,679 Speaker 1: feel like there's a connection between feeling that way and 403 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 1: this thought of never having said the way we feel. 404 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,360 Speaker 1: Am I wrong in that. 405 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,879 Speaker 2: I never thought about it? Actually? So let me just 406 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 2: think about that for a moment. I think was central 407 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 2: to both of what we're talking about is the importance 408 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 2: of connection. If we don't have one, we might make 409 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 2: it with someone we don't even know, just because we 410 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 2: need it. And that's that loneliness I was telling you about. 411 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 2: And I personally think this is a powerful treatment for 412 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 2: mental health. So you won't have to have these, as 413 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 2: you describe them, artificial disconnects that you make reeal that 414 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,439 Speaker 2: you actually have people you'll see in school or in 415 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 2: work tomorrow that have no idea of how they've meant 416 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 2: to you, and maybe their need for these artificial connections 417 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 2: will be reduced if they had some real ones, And 418 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 2: this is one way of developing it. There are other ways, 419 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 2: but this is a pretty powerful way to do to 420 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,159 Speaker 2: let people know that what they mean to you is 421 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:18,400 Speaker 2: really significant, feels an emotion that's critical for all of us. 422 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're right. The parasocial relationships are created out 423 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 1: of this desire to have community and connect. And it's 424 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 1: also difficult because I think there's also a lot of 425 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:35,880 Speaker 1: people out there who don't feel seen and heard by 426 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 1: certain communities, which really was what this podcast was born 427 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,879 Speaker 1: out of, is just hoping to consistently share stories where everybody, 428 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,400 Speaker 1: no matter their scope of life, can feel a connection 429 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,919 Speaker 1: with one guest or another and feel that feeling. But 430 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,399 Speaker 1: it is something that's missing. And if you look at 431 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 1: our communities now, connection is missing. I often share how 432 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,880 Speaker 1: my neighborhood we all talk to each other. I still 433 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 1: talk to my neighbors. I know who they are. We 434 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,159 Speaker 1: help each other when things are happening in the neighborhood. 435 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: And that's actually rare. I thought that was pretty normal, 436 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: but that's rare. And so you're seeing people just lack 437 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 1: community and connection. And I do think that's where parasocial 438 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 1: relationships can be born out of. And to your point, 439 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: if we express gratitude before it's too late, maybe we 440 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,880 Speaker 1: could have the connection and community that we've been looking for. 441 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 2: It's no question that's central to your desire for people 442 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 2: to be seen. That if the way people know that 443 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 2: they're seen is because people let them know that they 444 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 2: see them, and by definition they're being seen. Yeah, what 445 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 2: a wonderful way to be seen is to be appreciated 446 00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 2: and to know that you matter. 447 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a very popular phrase right now too that 448 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: you just reminded me of it. It's to be seen 449 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 1: is to be loved, truly seeing somebody, to truly see 450 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 1: all parts of you and it's so powerful. And you 451 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 1: mentioned the mental health aspect, and I would love to 452 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 1: hear more of your thoughts on the mental health side 453 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: of this, because gratitude is such a powerful factor, and 454 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,160 Speaker 1: it's why gratitude journals were born, and it helps to 455 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 1: create a more grateful space in which you live, in 456 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 1: in which your mind keeps its space. And what you're 457 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,479 Speaker 1: doing with that say it now movement can have an 458 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 1: impact on the mental health crisis that we're facing right now. 459 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, one of the reasons people feel emotionally depleted is 460 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 2: they don't really feel connections. They don't And even I 461 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 2: don't want to disparage gratitude journals, but in many ways, 462 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 2: you're talking to yourself. The expression of gratitude to somebody 463 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 2: who's been important to you, by definition, must include somebody else. 464 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 2: It is, by definition, a connection. It's a way to 465 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 2: deepen a connection. It's a way to rebuild a broken connection. 466 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 2: That's a way to be mentally healthier. No more than that, 467 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:32,560 Speaker 2: do you. 468 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 1: Feel like too, because you've obviously lived multiple lives at 469 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 1: this point now you're in your third teerar for sure, 470 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 1: You've had so many And do you feel like as 471 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 1: you got older, the gratitude and stuff became so much 472 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,160 Speaker 1: more important as you got older, Or when did that 473 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: moment in your life really hit that you said, Okay, 474 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: this is important that I pay attention to this and 475 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 1: this feeling. 476 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 2: I think that different kinds. There's several arenas for gratitude. 477 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 2: One are the blessings we have in our life. We 478 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 2: have beds to sleep in, we have hot and cold 479 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 2: water instantly goes on. We have generally the ability to 480 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 2: feed ourselves, and so they're generally speaking, it's a safe country, 481 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 2: and we have a lot to be grateful for, a 482 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 2: lot to be grateful for. And I think I know 483 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 2: this to be true. Actually, I think when people don't 484 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 2: have something, they feel it more deeply than those that 485 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 2: have it. And so I think it goes back. If 486 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,800 Speaker 2: I grew up with a bunch of friends and I 487 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,080 Speaker 2: always had friends and always felt connected and always felt 488 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 2: important it, maybe it wouldn't occurred to me when it did, 489 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 2: but I didn't, so I said, oh my, I really 490 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 2: wish I had them. And when I acted on it, 491 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 2: which I described when I was fifty and then again 492 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:11,840 Speaker 2: when I'm seventy, I really feel I struck gold in 493 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 2: terms of emotional health. I think I struck gold. And 494 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,480 Speaker 2: the purpose of being on your podcast is to share 495 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:24,600 Speaker 2: that richness with just hope a few people act on it. 496 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,560 Speaker 2: Not I don't want people saying, oh, and really, that's 497 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 2: a good idea, or if they read my book, that's 498 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 2: a good book. No no, no, no, no, no, no 499 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 2: no no. I want to know that you've thought about 500 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,000 Speaker 2: that one person, and you haven't just thought about that person. 501 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 2: You actually thought about the contribution of that one person. 502 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 2: That's not enough. You're now going to figure out how 503 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 2: do I do it? And I love the story when 504 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,840 Speaker 2: I was lecturing at a business school and these are 505 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 2: business school students of there, I don't know, late twenties, 506 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,240 Speaker 2: and it was a two hour class. So I actually 507 00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 2: had them go through in the class think about somebody, 508 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 2: and I gave them ten minutes in the class to 509 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,640 Speaker 2: put down specifics. So why that person came to mind? 510 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 2: And I said, listen, I'm not your professor, but I'm 511 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 2: going to ask you for your homework to go and 512 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:18,240 Speaker 2: express that person to that person one way or the other. 513 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 2: I think it was the next day. It couldn't have 514 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,240 Speaker 2: been more than two days. I get this note from 515 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,760 Speaker 2: the one of the young ladies in the class, she said, 516 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:29,160 Speaker 2: I and instantly people do tell me their stories. There's 517 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 2: no income in this room. This is all psychic income 518 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 2: when I hear these stories. So she wrote me, and 519 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 2: she said, you wouldn't believe it. I went home. I 520 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 2: lived with my dad. She still is living at home. 521 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 2: She's in her late twenties and her dad works s 522 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 2: late until nine o'clock at night. So she said, when 523 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:48,560 Speaker 2: he came home, I just this is just unbelievable. She said, Dad, 524 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 2: I'd like you to sit down on the couch. She said, 525 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 2: why so, I want to tell you something. What do 526 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 2: you want to tell me? I want to tell you 527 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 2: how I feel about you, she said. He said, I 528 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 2: know how you feel about me. Lived together. No, Dan, 529 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,160 Speaker 2: I actually want to sit down. And she took out 530 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 2: her pad and reviewed the specific contributions that her father 531 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 2: had made in their life, and they were both in 532 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,560 Speaker 2: tears before she got halfway through the list. And she 533 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 2: lives with that man she had been living. So sometimes 534 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 2: the relationships can be very close and still lack that 535 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:26,320 Speaker 2: very special gift. 536 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,320 Speaker 1: Now I need to hear too, because you spark something 537 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 1: in me, and you've been married. You mentioned your wife. 538 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 1: How long have you been married for. 539 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 2: I've been married, I am married. 540 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 1: Okay, you're married. How long have you been married to her? 541 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,280 Speaker 2: Well? SIXI two wonderful years? 542 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 1: Incredible? Okay. So when you had this huge idea and 543 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 1: the feeling of gratitude and you wanted to create this, 544 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 1: I'm curious how gratitude impacts your relationship and has it 545 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: helped it? Is there ways that you guys expressed gratitude 546 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,680 Speaker 1: to each other that maybe can help the rest of 547 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,839 Speaker 1: us have sixty two wonderful years of marriage. 548 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 2: There's more to marriage, as we all know, than the 549 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:11,799 Speaker 2: expression of gratitude. However, if you don't do it, you've 550 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:17,760 Speaker 2: missed a gigantic opportunity. And I would say, long before 551 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,240 Speaker 2: we called it, say it now. We've been thoughtful about 552 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:25,239 Speaker 2: letting the other person know. But even saying that, when 553 00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 2: I went on my seventieth journey, I sat down with 554 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:32,399 Speaker 2: my wife and went through the same experience with her 555 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,799 Speaker 2: that I did the other forty three people. It was 556 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,880 Speaker 2: just as meaningful to me, it was meaningful to her. 557 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:48,120 Speaker 2: And even though we're being married a long time, there 558 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,920 Speaker 2: are an awful lot of things that you could be 559 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 2: deeply grateful for I would say everything that's been important 560 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,560 Speaker 2: in our marriage or important in my life. Sixty two 561 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,320 Speaker 2: years we've married, that's a good part of my life. 562 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 2: My wife's either thought of an idea or been fully 563 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 2: supportive of the idea. Now, what a gift is that? 564 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:13,319 Speaker 2: What a gift is that to go when I'm eighty 565 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,600 Speaker 2: three years old and decide to create a global movement, 566 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,799 Speaker 2: to spend a ton of time and some resources on this. 567 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 2: She said, if it's important to you, I'll support you. 568 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, she sounds like a very special lady. 569 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,560 Speaker 2: She's the best. She's the best. 570 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,320 Speaker 1: I love that. And Walter, You've given us so many 571 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,719 Speaker 1: reasons to go out and do this. So I'm going 572 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 1: to encourage everyone. I like to always end on something 573 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 1: and we will hear in a second, but I'm going 574 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,919 Speaker 1: to encourage everybody to do this, at least with one 575 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:51,240 Speaker 1: person today, to go and express gratitude to that person 576 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:57,239 Speaker 1: in a very meaningful and intentional way and report back. 577 00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 1: Love's how I feel. We want to know because I 578 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,239 Speaker 1: better it was amazing, and now you just have It's 579 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,239 Speaker 1: the trickle effect, right, You do it one time and 580 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,200 Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I love that feeling. I got to 581 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:10,000 Speaker 1: keep doing it, Energizer Bunny. We'll hope that's what happens. 582 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,960 Speaker 1: But I do like to end my podcast episodes with 583 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,319 Speaker 1: a piece of advice or motivation or maybe something that's 584 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,760 Speaker 1: heavy on your heart that we didn't get to talk about. 585 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,800 Speaker 1: It's whatever you want it to be, so pass the 586 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,160 Speaker 1: floor over to you, and you end us on something. 587 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 2: Walter, I want to cut a little bit more slack 588 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,879 Speaker 2: to your listeners and say, I'd like you to think 589 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:33,640 Speaker 2: about this person today. I'd like you to think about 590 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:38,320 Speaker 2: their contributions today or tomorrow, and I'd like to act 591 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 2: on it in the next very few days. In other words, 592 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 2: be thoughtful about it, be specific about it. And I 593 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 2: don't really need to do much convincing after the prison 594 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,799 Speaker 2: does the first one, and so I think if we 595 00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:01,000 Speaker 2: can inspire just the first one, they'll be motivated to 596 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 2: continue the practice. And I don't know if you remember 597 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 2: Pay It Forward. It was a movie where you can't 598 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,919 Speaker 2: always do something for the person who did something to you. 599 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,680 Speaker 2: And so now let me say, hey, listen, I was 600 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 2: so nice. I'm going to pay it forward. I want 601 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:20,759 Speaker 2: to say it now to be as commonplace as pay 602 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,520 Speaker 2: it forward. We've got fifteen million people that expressed it 603 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 2: to fifteen that's thirty million people that have been involved. 604 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 2: I'd like several hundred million people. And I want it 605 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:36,719 Speaker 2: to be the way we live. I want it to 606 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:42,279 Speaker 2: be a conscious, intentional life is one that doesn't let 607 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:47,800 Speaker 2: it go by without acknowledging something of significance. Talking about 608 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,840 Speaker 2: just opening the door or baking a cake or whatever. 609 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,440 Speaker 2: I'm talking about road changers. We all have road changers. 610 00:38:54,920 --> 00:39:00,399 Speaker 2: So my hope is that none of us lose road 611 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:05,239 Speaker 2: changer from this day forward without having told them how 612 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,480 Speaker 2: important they are to us. 613 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 1: That's the perfect thing to end on, because you just 614 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,240 Speaker 1: encouraged all of us to make a difference in our lives. 615 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 1: And I think that's all what we need and deserve 616 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,319 Speaker 1: right now. So thank you for that and welcome, thank 617 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 1: you for what you're doing. I think to Say It 618 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,040 Speaker 1: Now movement is fifty million people. I think we can 619 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: get the whole world. 620 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's try, and they can go to Say it 621 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:34,120 Speaker 2: Now Just Say it Now dot org. Nothing to sell there, 622 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 2: It just gives you some guidance and help if you 623 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,600 Speaker 2: need a little bit more guidance and help. And you 624 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:43,399 Speaker 2: can also watch a Ted talk and documentary and other 625 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:46,200 Speaker 2: things that are on there, But most importantly, I want 626 00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 2: to inspire that person to enrich their life and to 627 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:53,600 Speaker 2: enrich the life of somebody who's been very important to them. 628 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,879 Speaker 1: Yes, thank you so much, Walter. You're awesome and very 629 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,279 Speaker 1: inspiring and I love your story, so thank you for 630 00:39:59,320 --> 00:39:59,800 Speaker 1: being here. 631 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,560 Speaker 2: Thank you for being doing what you're doing so the 632 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 2: story gets to be told. Appreciate it. 633 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,360 Speaker 1: Walter Green took a concept that should be widely acknowledged 634 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,200 Speaker 1: and put into action, although it often isn't, and he's 635 00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,320 Speaker 1: trying to change that with the say It Now movement. 636 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,960 Speaker 1: I hope his story inspires you to have some important 637 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,040 Speaker 1: conversations with the people who have impacted you and know 638 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,320 Speaker 1: not tomorrow or next week, but right now. Yes, now, 639 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 1: that's the whole concept. We're continuing the series next week 640 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,360 Speaker 1: with Danny Morrell, who truly knows how to help you 641 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 1: awaken the best version of yourself. It's a fun one. 642 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,640 Speaker 1: Subscribe for me if you will, and I'll yap with 643 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 1: you guys next time.