1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,440
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,400
Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, and we got some great

3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,200
Speaker 1: stories coming up.

4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639
Speaker 2: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,600
Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

6
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 2: a little house.

7
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,800
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my friend's girlfriend ruined the food I cooked,

8
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,120
Speaker 3: but she got dumped. That's not how you do the dumpling.

9
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,680
Speaker 3: So we're gonna dump you dump. Blenz I thirty five

10
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,680
Speaker 3: mail am a foodie. I've been cooking since I was ten,

11
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,840
Speaker 3: and I even have a personal cookbook of the recipes

12
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,520
Speaker 3: I've accumulated over the years. I know my recipes to heart,

13
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,880
Speaker 3: so much so that I often don't need a recipe

14
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,320
Speaker 3: to cook my dishes. By the way, this comes from

15
00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,720
Speaker 3: Purple shell S. And if you want some of your

16
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,520
Speaker 3: own stories, go to our Soli I show. Okay, story

17
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,800
Speaker 3: dumps up right it So, my closest friends and I

18
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,160
Speaker 3: decided to have dinner in board game night last week,

19
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,839
Speaker 3: to which my best friend Clark thirty four mail, volunteered

20
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,640
Speaker 3: to host. He requested me to cook my spicy Italian

21
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,320
Speaker 3: sausage pasta and said that I could cook my pasta

22
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:03,160
Speaker 3: dish and his house even joke that he gets to

23
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,760
Speaker 3: keep any of the leftovers, which is fine by me.

24
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,120
Speaker 3: I agreed to this arrangement because his kitchen was equipped

25
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,560
Speaker 3: for me to cook my dish and I don't need

26
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,160
Speaker 3: to worry about transporting my dish. I arrived at Clark's

27
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,640
Speaker 3: house a few hours early with my ingredients in toe,

28
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:22,000
Speaker 3: along with board games from my collection. Yes I'm a

29
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,520
Speaker 3: board game or two. Clark's girlfriend of four months, Sasha,

30
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,880
Speaker 3: thirty two female, let me in the house. I ask

31
00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:31,760
Speaker 3: her where Clark was, and she said he was out

32
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,880
Speaker 3: doing errands and buying snacks and refreshments for later. I

33
00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:37,360
Speaker 3: proceeded to the kitchen to prepare for the ingredients and

34
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,360
Speaker 3: start cooking. The cooking of the sauce went well. The

35
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:45,440
Speaker 3: flavors were balanced to my liking. It had saltiness from

36
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:50,320
Speaker 3: the panchetta and the parmesan rind, sweetness and tartness from

37
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,600
Speaker 3: the onions and canned in fresh tomatoes, keep from the

38
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,800
Speaker 3: clabbery and chilies, and herbaceous notes from a blend of

39
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 3: fresh and dried herbs. After finishing the sauce, I took

40
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,160
Speaker 3: it off the heat and prepared a pot of water

41
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,960
Speaker 3: for the pasta. I set the pot of water over

42
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,519
Speaker 3: the stove to put it over low heat. I planned

43
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,359
Speaker 3: to freshen up a little and cook the pasta nearer

44
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,200
Speaker 3: the serving time. I went to the guest bathroom to

45
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,240
Speaker 3: shower and changed clothes. After freshening up, I headed back

46
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,440
Speaker 3: to the kitchen. On my way back, I asked sauce

47
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,640
Speaker 3: who was in the living room where Clark was. She

48
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,960
Speaker 3: said that he was on his way and would be

49
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,560
Speaker 3: back in twenty minutes. She then told me, oh, by

50
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,639
Speaker 3: the way, I tasted your tomato sauce and it lacked salt.

51
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,640
Speaker 3: I saw this video and the chef said the sauce

52
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,919
Speaker 3: should be as salty as the sea. Don't worry, I've

53
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:44,239
Speaker 3: already fixed your sauce. You're welcome. I thought she was kidding,

54
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,520
Speaker 3: so I just responded with yes, thanks. I guess I

55
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,639
Speaker 3: was also worried if she over salted my sauce. I

56
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,600
Speaker 3: quickly made my way back to the kitchen to taste

57
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:57,800
Speaker 3: my sauce. To my horror, my complex balance sauce was

58
00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:02,520
Speaker 3: now as salty as the dead. See if I if

59
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,320
Speaker 3: I'm going to my boy Clark, Clark, you gotta break

60
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:06,959
Speaker 3: up with this chick.

61
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,520
Speaker 1: You want to know why, because she doesn't know how

62
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,200
Speaker 1: pasta works.

63
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:10,640
Speaker 4: One.

64
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,880
Speaker 3: She doesn't ask permission for things, She just does them

65
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:14,720
Speaker 3: if she thinks it's right.

66
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:15,400
Speaker 1: Yea untwo.

67
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:19,000
Speaker 3: She's stupid because she puts salt in freaking sauce and

68
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,919
Speaker 3: not the sauce not in the posta water.

69
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:25,239
Speaker 4: Not everybody knows how to cook, but that is pretty egregious.

70
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,600
Speaker 3: I was fuming because my sauce was ruined. In Gordon

71
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,160
Speaker 3: Ramsey's word, an idiot sandwich. She definitely misheard the advice

72
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,960
Speaker 3: from the video, because you're supposed to have the pasta

73
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:41,520
Speaker 3: water as salty as to see, not the sauce, shouted

74
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,400
Speaker 3: from the rooftops. I wanted to scold Sasha for ruining

75
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,280
Speaker 3: my sauce, but I had to fix my sauce first

76
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,520
Speaker 3: because my friends were bound to arrive in less than

77
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,520
Speaker 3: an hour. Unfortunately, I don't have the time or the

78
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,920
Speaker 3: ingredients to make a new sauce. I had in a

79
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,600
Speaker 3: mix of lemon je and honey and a can of

80
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,560
Speaker 3: crush tomatoes, tomato paste and splashes water. I minimize the

81
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,280
Speaker 3: saltiness of the sauce, but the sauce was still off.

82
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,680
Speaker 3: I was thinking of no longer serving my dish, but

83
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,960
Speaker 3: my friends were excited about my food, and I did

84
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,520
Speaker 3: not want to waste food. I just hoped no one

85
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,720
Speaker 3: would notice how bad this sauce was.

86
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,279
Speaker 1: They're gonna notice, They're gonna notice.

87
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,080
Speaker 3: My friends arrived, we all sat at the dinner table.

88
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,600
Speaker 3: We all got a portion of each dish. While we

89
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,120
Speaker 3: were eating, I noticed my friends were pushing my pasta

90
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:36,040
Speaker 3: to the sides their blades. Once everyone was ready for dessert,

91
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,760
Speaker 3: I offered to help Lexi prepare and serve the desserts.

92
00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,440
Speaker 3: Lexi is also a foodie, but she's a baker, and

93
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,440
Speaker 3: she is excellent making pastries and desserts. Lexi and I

94
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,159
Speaker 3: were alone in the kitchen. She asked me why my

95
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,840
Speaker 3: pasta was so salty. That's when I told her. Every

96
00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:57,400
Speaker 3: then told Lexi that I'd let it go for the

97
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,760
Speaker 3: meantime and we should just enjoy the rest of the night.

98
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,120
Speaker 3: I was doing so well not to show that I

99
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,479
Speaker 3: was bothered, but then Clark, along with Sasha, approached me.

100
00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:10,880
Speaker 3: I said my pasta dish was saltier then he remembered.

101
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,599
Speaker 3: I wanted to say that his girlfriend rumined my dish,

102
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,440
Speaker 3: but I decided to allow her to open up for

103
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,400
Speaker 3: her mistake. So I told him that I had no

104
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:23,040
Speaker 3: idea what went wrong. I mentioned that I salted my food,

105
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,479
Speaker 3: tasted the sauce as I went along, and made it

106
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,640
Speaker 3: a point to say my pasta water was sea water salty,

107
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,360
Speaker 3: but that has never affected the saltiness of my pasta dishes.

108
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,159
Speaker 3: And I said the pasta water thing. I made sure

109
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,320
Speaker 3: to look at Sasha. She did not say anything. I

110
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,040
Speaker 3: just ended the conversation by saying I sometimes had my offers.

111
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,920
Speaker 3: The rest of the night went well. I even won

112
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,000
Speaker 3: some of the games, which kind of lifted my spirits

113
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,960
Speaker 3: from the PASA debacle. Before I left Clark's house, I

114
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,440
Speaker 3: asked him if he was keeping the leftovers. He said

115
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,520
Speaker 3: he was taking half, so I offered to take home

116
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,960
Speaker 3: the other half. Been a week since the pasta incident,

117
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,920
Speaker 3: and I still feel disrespectful by what Sasha did. I

118
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,640
Speaker 3: want to tell my best friend that his girlfriend e

119
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,600
Speaker 3: ffed up my dish, but I don't want to make

120
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,919
Speaker 3: a big issue over pasta sauce. How do you go

121
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:13,800
Speaker 3: about this?

122
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:14,279
Speaker 1: Guys?

123
00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:14,839
Speaker 3: What are we doing?

124
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,000
Speaker 4: I'm not going to the boy, I'm not going to

125
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,719
Speaker 4: my friend going to Sasha. I'm just gonna talk to

126
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,440
Speaker 4: Sasha I don't need to. I don't need to have

127
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 4: the mediator of the boyfriend involved. You just say, Sasha,

128
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,800
Speaker 4: I don't know if you're not aware of this, but

129
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:35,120
Speaker 4: you should ask permission before you just start taking initiative

130
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:40,719
Speaker 4: to mess up somebody's cooking. I mean, you know you

131
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,760
Speaker 4: can be nice what I'm doing.

132
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let it go. If this is me, I'm

133
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:46,240
Speaker 1: gonna let it go.

134
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:51,440
Speaker 3: And I will always hold this above Sasha until she

135
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,200
Speaker 3: says I'm sorry. If she says I'm sorry, we can

136
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,919
Speaker 3: all laugh about it. Like imagine it's like, sorry, guys,

137
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,800
Speaker 3: I actually put the salt in the pasta.

138
00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:01,040
Speaker 1: It would have been so funny.

139
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,840
Speaker 4: I think she needs to She thinks she did nothing

140
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,000
Speaker 4: wrong because I'm sure OP fixed the sauce, and then

141
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,080
Speaker 4: she's like, I it was I did the right thing.

142
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,280
Speaker 1: But I think, but is you press her? And then

143
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,480
Speaker 1: depending on her reaction.

144
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,360
Speaker 3: I'm also I'm gonna tell my boy. If he's like,

145
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,200
Speaker 3: hey man, I don't know about Sasha, I'll be like,

146
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:18,520
Speaker 3: let me tell you some much slash.

147
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,880
Speaker 1: You're like, boil boy, do I have a story for you?

148
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,800
Speaker 3: We got an edit update edit. I generally feel uncomfortable

149
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,040
Speaker 3: with confrontations. This is why I let it slide and

150
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,360
Speaker 3: even took the blame. But now I realized that I

151
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,880
Speaker 3: should stand up for myself more, be more proud of

152
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,280
Speaker 3: the work I do, and shouldn't be concerned about sparing

153
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,840
Speaker 3: Sasha's feelings because in the first place, she disrespected me.

154
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,920
Speaker 3: I have to put her in her place. Some of

155
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,600
Speaker 3: you who thought that she either hated me or was

156
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,160
Speaker 3: jealous of me, I have no idea if she does.

157
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,200
Speaker 3: In the four months Clark and her have been dating,

158
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,040
Speaker 3: I've only met her twice or thrice, and we didn't

159
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,960
Speaker 3: even interact much. I am now even more compelled to

160
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,320
Speaker 3: tell Clark about what she did, because if he's if

161
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,120
Speaker 3: she's able to disrespect the boundaries of a stranger to her,

162
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:10,000
Speaker 3: who knows what boundaries she'll cross. With the romantic partner

163
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:16,960
Speaker 3: conspiracy theory, she's toxic. She needs to isolate Clark from

164
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,520
Speaker 3: his friends so she can then do the mind games

165
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,040
Speaker 3: on him. Okay, and so she's like, I'm gonna do

166
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:26,080
Speaker 3: it one by one. Boom puts put a lot of

167
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,080
Speaker 3: salt and Opie's dish. Everyone's like, Oh, what's wrong with you?

168
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,319
Speaker 3: This is weird? Your chef I've messaged Clark to meet

169
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,600
Speaker 3: up without Sasha for lunch tomorrow and you agreed. I'll

170
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:40,480
Speaker 3: probably update everyone after my lunch with Clark. Guys again

171
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,280
Speaker 3: an update updates. Thank you for the comments and advice

172
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,600
Speaker 3: on my previous post. I met with Clark for lunch

173
00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:48,120
Speaker 3: to tell him about last week's board game night. I

174
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,600
Speaker 3: told him that Sasha oversawt to my sault because of

175
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,760
Speaker 3: a video she saw, and I tried my best to

176
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,839
Speaker 3: fix it but failed. I also allowed her to fess up,

177
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,040
Speaker 3: but she stayed silent. I apologize for lying to him

178
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,640
Speaker 3: by taking the blame for her mistake because I was

179
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:05,480
Speaker 3: afraid of the confrontation confrontation, and I didn't want the

180
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,720
Speaker 3: rest of the game night to be ruined by throwing

181
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,240
Speaker 3: her under the bus. I was afraid that he wouldn't

182
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 3: believe me and that I was deflecting the blame back

183
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,520
Speaker 3: to Sasha instead. He said, that makes much more sense.

184
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,920
Speaker 3: He then told me more about Sasha. When he met Sasha,

185
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,840
Speaker 3: she was trying to make live style content. Currently. She

186
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,920
Speaker 3: wants to make cooking videos, but the videos she watched

187
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:31,240
Speaker 3: for inspiration were cooking hacks where people were dumping dry

188
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,079
Speaker 3: pasta rammie, tons of cheese, etc. In a baking dish,

189
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,920
Speaker 3: then throwing it in the oven to cook. She even

190
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,199
Speaker 3: saw the countertop spaghetti video, which she wanted to make

191
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,000
Speaker 3: for Clark's dad and sister when they were over at

192
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,640
Speaker 3: his house during the holidays, who refusal let her do that.

193
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,360
Speaker 3: Before we finished our meal, I told Clark to talk

194
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,719
Speaker 3: to his girlfriend and I expect an apology from her

195
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,000
Speaker 3: and for her to also apologize to the rest of

196
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,360
Speaker 3: our friends for ruining last week's dinner. He asked me

197
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,800
Speaker 3: if I wanted to go to his place to get

198
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 3: in a apology now, because Sausha was there. I declined

199
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,040
Speaker 3: because it would feel like we were forcing an apology

200
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,320
Speaker 3: from her by surprising her. Is it because you feel

201
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:10,440
Speaker 3: non confrontational or is it forcing it? I don't really

202
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,480
Speaker 3: I'm in between here.

203
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:12,920
Speaker 1: You know.

204
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:18,160
Speaker 4: I think just having the confrontation is not necessarily that

205
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,320
Speaker 4: big of a deal, but Op's making it like way

206
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,960
Speaker 4: bigger of a deal in his head where it just

207
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:23,760
Speaker 4: needs to happen.

208
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,200
Speaker 3: After a few hours, I got a call from Clark.

209
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:30,160
Speaker 3: They got into a huge fight and they broke up.

210
00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:33,680
Speaker 3: When he asked her to apologize, she refused and threw

211
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,040
Speaker 3: a fit. She was so annoyed that Clark would rave

212
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,120
Speaker 3: about me and Lexi's food, but her never did the

213
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,880
Speaker 3: same when she cooked for him.

214
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,400
Speaker 1: Maybe you're a bad cook.

215
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,199
Speaker 3: He said that he always thinked and appreciated her efforts,

216
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,400
Speaker 3: but sometimes her cooking didn't go well. She served him

217
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,280
Speaker 3: raw chicken twice. In her rent, She said that her

218
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,280
Speaker 3: fixing the sauce was her way of saying that she

219
00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,600
Speaker 3: was better than me. But when her plan backfar, she

220
00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,200
Speaker 3: kept quiet and let me take the blame, and I

221
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,800
Speaker 3: dumbly fell on that sword. Some of you in the

222
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,400
Speaker 3: comments were right, by the way, you can be right

223
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,240
Speaker 3: if you go right to your favorite podcast platform, search

224
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,960
Speaker 3: up Okay story Time, and boom right there will be

225
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,560
Speaker 3: a plethora of stories just as crazy as this one.

226
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,040
Speaker 3: Back to this. But what I got Clark to break

227
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,040
Speaker 3: up with her was when she called Clark and our

228
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,520
Speaker 3: friends a bunch of useless losers. He in turn defended

229
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,160
Speaker 3: us by saying that we were the most reliable support

230
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,400
Speaker 3: group of friends he's ever had. We helped him get

231
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,360
Speaker 3: through his mom's terminal cancer diagnosis and passing. He told

232
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,040
Speaker 3: her to get out and they were over. Clark assured

233
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,560
Speaker 3: me he'd be okay, and then he needed some space.

234
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,640
Speaker 3: I told him to call me if he needed anything.

235
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,680
Speaker 3: It seems I won't be getting my apology, but that's

236
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,520
Speaker 3: what I get for not speaking up. Lesson learned. At

237
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,760
Speaker 3: least we won't have Sasha for our next game night,

238
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,680
Speaker 3: which I'll host. Guys, that's thee to that one.

239
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:02,600
Speaker 4: Well, Sasha's out the door. That Sasha has sachetde right

240
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:08,280
Speaker 4: out of our lives. My entitled friend demanded to be

241
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,280
Speaker 4: my maid of honor and I denied her.

242
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,920
Speaker 3: Not your turn this time denied.

243
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,319
Speaker 4: I wasn't quite sure which flare to use, but honestly,

244
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,840
Speaker 4: thinking about it, this woman was super entitled and I

245
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 4: never realized it. Buckle up for a long background context

246
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,480
Speaker 4: of entitlement that still blows my mind. Some of the

247
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,920
Speaker 4: things in this story I may be an a holeover,

248
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,120
Speaker 4: but also it could just be that people conditioned me

249
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,280
Speaker 4: to feel that way. And by the way, this comes

250
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,240
Speaker 4: from User Life feature eighty eight, twenty three and if

251
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,760
Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

252
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:44,160
Speaker 4: r slash Okay storytime subredding. So our story starts back

253
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,760
Speaker 4: around nineteen ninety eight or ninety nine. Ish, I now

254
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,680
Speaker 4: thirty three female was about seven or eight.

255
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:50,200
Speaker 1: At the time.

256
00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:52,880
Speaker 4: My parents and I had become members of a church

257
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,720
Speaker 4: that was on the campus of a school I had

258
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,480
Speaker 4: been enrolled in for kindergarten. They met a couple who

259
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,800
Speaker 4: lived not too far from us. We lived in one

260
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,000
Speaker 4: of the top five cities in the United States, so

261
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,640
Speaker 4: when I say not too far, I'm talking like one

262
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,000
Speaker 4: major street away, but it was actually probably about three

263
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,160
Speaker 4: miles away. This couple had two boys, one who had

264
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,480
Speaker 4: already moved out, and a daughter who will call Becca,

265
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,679
Speaker 4: now thirty eight female. She was about twelve at the time.

266
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,440
Speaker 4: My parents would go to her house for Bible study

267
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,040
Speaker 4: every Sunday, and we also attended the same school at

268
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,880
Speaker 4: the time. Well, Becca became the big sister I never had.

269
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,240
Speaker 4: She took me under her wing and treated me like

270
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,360
Speaker 4: a little sister, always there for me. She even gave

271
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,720
Speaker 4: me the two prom dresses that her mother had made

272
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:39,160
Speaker 4: my junior year when I couldn't afford a dress, even

273
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,240
Speaker 4: though she knew my mother would have to alter them,

274
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,280
Speaker 4: but she didn't care because it meant I had a dress.

275
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,360
Speaker 4: Fast forward, and she got engaged to a guy that

276
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,960
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure most of us really didn't like.

277
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,240
Speaker 1: However, she was super happy.

278
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,720
Speaker 4: And I was like sixteen sometime around two thousand and seven,

279
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,920
Speaker 4: and knew I didn't understand real relationships much, so I

280
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,520
Speaker 4: just supported her. She asked me to be a bridesmaid,

281
00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:03,280
Speaker 4: and I of course said yes to me. This was

282
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,160
Speaker 4: my big sister getting married. Before I bought my dress.

283
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,880
Speaker 4: Though the engagement fell apart and the wedding was called off.

284
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,240
Speaker 4: He had slept with her older brother's wife, who then

285
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 4: chose to run off with her.

286
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,840
Speaker 1: Now ex oh.

287
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:21,720
Speaker 4: My god, Oh my god, that's wild at that's next level.

288
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,920
Speaker 4: After a while, she had started seeing a guy that

289
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,080
Speaker 4: she had known in high school. This is important for

290
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,720
Speaker 4: later and around that time nine or twenty ten, I had.

291
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,840
Speaker 1: Become engaged myself.

292
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,520
Speaker 4: I had originally asked my cousin Okay, who I now

293
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,360
Speaker 4: don't have a lot of contact with, Jenna, who was

294
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 4: also eighteen or nineteen at the time, to.

295
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:41,960
Speaker 1: Be if I made of honor.

296
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,320
Speaker 4: The wedding didn't take place until twenty eleven, and about

297
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,440
Speaker 4: six months before Jenna had to bow out alongside one

298
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,280
Speaker 4: of my other bridesmaids. I told both girls I loved

299
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,880
Speaker 4: them and understood. This left me with the bridal party

300
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,640
Speaker 4: of Becca now twenty three, twenty four and four other

301
00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:02,120
Speaker 4: friends Annie twenty female who was my fiance ex fiancee,

302
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,280
Speaker 4: Sarah A, and Sarah B and then Desi.

303
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:07,040
Speaker 1: Now.

304
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 4: I didn't find out until later, and this is a

305
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,360
Speaker 4: detail where people have called me An a hole, which

306
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 4: is stupid.

307
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,520
Speaker 1: But Becca was livid over the bridesmaid's dress.

308
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 4: I chose why because it was the same one I

309
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,120
Speaker 4: was supposed to wear five years prior for her wedding,

310
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,640
Speaker 4: same style and color.

311
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 1: Now. We bought these dresses from David's Bridle.

312
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,240
Speaker 4: This dress was one of their extremely popular ones up

313
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,120
Speaker 4: until they retired it, and ever since I was a

314
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 4: little girl, I'd always planned on red being one of

315
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 4: my wedding colors.

316
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 1: But I loved the deepness of.

317
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,440
Speaker 4: The color apple that this place had, so it didn't

318
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 4: occur to me that choosing that dress would be a problem,

319
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,520
Speaker 4: especially since she never got married and I personally never

320
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,360
Speaker 4: got to wear the dress as her bridesmaid.

321
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,360
Speaker 3: Becca was a victim Dakota. If I'm like, hey, let's go,

322
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,160
Speaker 3: let's listen to this certain song that I like, Oh boy,

323
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,760
Speaker 3: I make you upset, isn't that kind of the same

324
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,160
Speaker 3: vibe we got going on here, like, I can't play

325
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:04,520
Speaker 3: that song.

326
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 4: There's this song that makes me sad when I hear it.

327
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,400
Speaker 1: Oh, I guess that's true.

328
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 4: But also, you're not getting married, you know, Like I

329
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,960
Speaker 4: feel like if it was, but I can't play that song,

330
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,480
Speaker 4: I feel like I wouldn't within the rules of I'd

331
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,760
Speaker 4: be like, you can play that song.

332
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 1: I'll be able to handle.

333
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 5: It for your wedding.

334
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, for your wedding.

335
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 4: That's the context if this was just yeah, I don't know.

336
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 4: About a month before my wedding, remember, twenty eleven, we

337
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 4: had my bachelorette party. DESI had just had a baby

338
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 4: and wasn't feeling up to going, which I totally understood.

339
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,600
Speaker 1: She did make it up to me in the end,

340
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,840
Speaker 1: which I didn't expect her to do because I didn't

341
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,320
Speaker 1: need her to anyway.

342
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,120
Speaker 4: So it wound up being myself, Becca, Sarah, A and

343
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,240
Speaker 4: B and Annie. We got a hotel room about four

344
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,000
Speaker 4: miles down the road from our actual destination, and it

345
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,040
Speaker 4: was pretty cheap. But I mean, you're talking four girls

346
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 4: from eighteen to twenty three of whom still lived with family,

347
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,120
Speaker 4: and one who was twenty five. Even if it had

348
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 4: been the motel six that has been.

349
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 1: Across the street. I wouldn't have cared.

350
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,200
Speaker 4: Our destination had been a club that has now been

351
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,680
Speaker 4: closed since probably around twenty thirteen, that had eighteen plus

352
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,199
Speaker 4: nights on Thursdays. I knew the bouncers, and one of

353
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 4: my guys actually put us on his list for the night,

354
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,399
Speaker 4: meaning we had no cover charge.

355
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 3: Wow.

356
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 4: Now, eighteen and up nights meant that you could only

357
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 4: go upstairs if you were over twenty one, and no

358
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,879
Speaker 4: booze was allowed downstairs. They were very strict about this,

359
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,479
Speaker 4: as we were right on the edge of a college

360
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 4: city that partied to the point they had bouncers at

361
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,720
Speaker 4: both ends of the stairs. Sarah and Sarah and Annie

362
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,920
Speaker 4: and I are downstairs dancing and having so much fun

363
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,680
Speaker 4: in a packed club. They had even gone and bought

364
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,800
Speaker 4: me a bride to be sash that matched the color

365
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 4: of the top I had worn that night.

366
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,119
Speaker 1: At some point I had lost.

367
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 4: Track of Becca for a little bit, but I knew

368
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 4: that she would probably be drinking, which was fine with me,

369
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,160
Speaker 4: because you know, she's twenty five, and I won't tell

370
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 4: her she can't drink just because I was, and so

371
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 4: were the other girls too young to do so. So

372
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 4: you that by this point I haven't asked anyone to

373
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 4: be my maid of honor after Jenna had to drop out,

374
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 4: so the bachelorette party had actually been a group planned

375
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,439
Speaker 4: since we were all young. That night, I actually asked

376
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 4: Sarah Sarah A to be my maid of honor after

377
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 4: we got back to the hotel. Later I discovered that

378
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 4: Becca was livid. From her point of view and what

379
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,400
Speaker 4: she eventually later told me, she had a crap night

380
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 4: because the club was packed and she didn't like dancing.

381
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,199
Speaker 4: She felt alone upstairs, being the only one of us

382
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 4: that could legally drink, and felt like she was just

383
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 4: babysitting us because she had her eye on us the

384
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:34,760
Speaker 4: whole time.

385
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,720
Speaker 1: I feel this was her choice to do that, as

386
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 1: I never.

387
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 4: Asked her to which I would agree with Becca's getting

388
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,399
Speaker 4: mad that she made her own decisions. Now she was

389
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 4: mad because not only had I quote stolen her bridesmaid's dress,

390
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 4: but I had not asked her to be my maid

391
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 4: of honor.

392
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,640
Speaker 1: Out of all of.

393
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,640
Speaker 4: The remaining girls in the party, I had known her

394
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,440
Speaker 4: the longest, so it should have been me to become

395
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,280
Speaker 4: your maid of honor, according to her, I don't know, man.

396
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,600
Speaker 3: I this is her decision looking out of from a friend.

397
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,639
Speaker 3: If let's say you took me in under like like

398
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,200
Speaker 3: she Becca took o p N at a young age

399
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,919
Speaker 3: under her wink, like that's her big sister.

400
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,480
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, they became friends early, but like I

401
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,800
Speaker 4: think with the given the context of like the marriage

402
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,639
Speaker 4: blowing up and stuff, that she was gonna have Like

403
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 4: I don't know, I hope you could have just been

404
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 4: like I just thought that you wouldn't want to do

405
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 4: that because it'd be.

406
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,640
Speaker 1: Like too much or like a reminder.

407
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 4: Of like, yeah, oh you're already mad about the dresses.

408
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 4: Now you want to be in charge of my bridal party?

409
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 4: Like yeah, doesn't seem like he's like.

410
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 3: You're in this for me. We're getting a lot from you,

411
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 3: We're feeling your emotions.

412
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,679
Speaker 4: Basically, she wasn't mad that I had asked my cousin

413
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 4: because that was my legit family and she wouldn't ever

414
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 4: object to family before friends. But she literally expected me

415
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,720
Speaker 4: to ask her after my cousin had to drop. Looking back,

416
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 4: this marriage one hundred percent should never have happened for

417
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 4: many reasons I won't go into. However, one detail I

418
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 4: will give is that the pastor who I wanted to

419
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 4: marry us told us one day that he absolutely refused

420
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,879
Speaker 4: to marry us, although he never explained why, and that

421
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,919
Speaker 4: should have been my biggest red flag to not do this.

422
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 4: But two days before my father decided to demand not discuss,

423
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,880
Speaker 4: that we call off the wedding as we quote had

424
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 4: no business getting married. So now we're at the night

425
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 4: before the wedding and realistically I still have no pastor

426
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 4: or officiant. Despite my hardest trying to find someone. Desi,

427
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,720
Speaker 4: bless her and her husband allowed the whole of my

428
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 4: side of the bridal party to crash at their place

429
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 4: that night because I was very entrenched in the groom

430
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 4: doesn't see the bride the night before the wedding. We

431
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 4: were living together at the time. Not only did Desi

432
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 4: open her house to us, but she called in a

433
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 4: favor from a gentleman who was a pastor and explained

434
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 4: to him how ours had backed out on us and

435
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 4: the wedding was the next day. He, not knowing anyone,

436
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 4: but her and her husband agreed to come and marry us.

437
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 4: This is how she made up for the bachelorette party.

438
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 4: By the way, I recently discovered that Desi passed not

439
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 4: too long ago. Oh no, we lost contact after my

440
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 4: divorce because she was my ex's friend first, despite that

441
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,199
Speaker 4: she and her husband had actually been part of my

442
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 4: rocks during that horrible marriage.

443
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,959
Speaker 1: So I hold these memories of her very close.

444
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 3: Dang right about that?

445
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 1: I mean, that's it's always tough.

446
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 4: Fast forward to eight months and a lot of from

447
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 4: multiple parties, the ex, the monster in law, and his

448
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 4: second mother, who was also a monster because she thought

449
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 4: that my ex should have married one of.

450
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: Her four daughters.

451
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 4: And we are now divorced, I reconnect with someone surprising

452
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 4: from my past. Now this is another place where I'm

453
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 4: called an a hole, and while I don't disagree, I

454
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 4: do disagree to an extent. This person was the guy

455
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 4: Becca had known in high school and had been dating

456
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 4: after her ex fiance left and when I had first

457
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 4: gotten together with my now ex husband. Okay, so not

458
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,879
Speaker 4: the ex fiance but a friend of the ex fiance.

459
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 3: Well, it's Beca's ex, but like right after the crazy

460
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: fiance fiansco.

461
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 4: Okay, so it's still an ex, but it's not that X,

462
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,439
Speaker 4: it's ax ax.

463
00:21:59,600 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 1: Okay.

464
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 4: I think that they honestly dated for only a few months,

465
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 4: maybe four to six and decided they were better off

466
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 4: as friends. He and I reconnected and started to getting

467
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 4: to know each other on a whole different level, and

468
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,680
Speaker 4: that level included us deciding to start dating. We even

469
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 4: got matching tattoos, and I put matching in quotes, but

470
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 4: it was actually just the same words into different styles,

471
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 4: into different locations.

472
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 1: They were both our first tattoos. Yeah, girl, you got

473
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 1: a matching tattoo.

474
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 4: He only got his because he knew how badly I

475
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 4: wanted this specific tattoo, but at the time I was

476
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 4: terrified of doing it, hence why we had the same words.

477
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 1: So here is where I stopped talking to her completely.

478
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,639
Speaker 4: Okay, he and I only dated for maybe two months,

479
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 4: but he had paid for a Greyhound ticket for me

480
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 4: to go and visit him as he worked at one

481
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,679
Speaker 4: of the disneys the days he worked. Because I stayed

482
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 4: for almost a week, he gave me his pass and

483
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 4: I got to walk around the park and had a

484
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 4: huge blast. I had honestly just expected to stay in

485
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 4: his apartment while he was at so this was actually

486
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,119
Speaker 4: a really nice surprise for me.

487
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 1: He and I were basically a huge Didney couple.

488
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,160
Speaker 4: He had come home to visit and we got into

489
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 4: this huge fight that ended in us breaking up. About

490
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 4: two weeks later, I got a message on Facebook. I

491
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 4: had been added to a group message. Now, mind you,

492
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 4: my mother hadn't been aware that he and I were dating.

493
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 4: For one, there was obviously a bit of an age difference,

494
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 4: at least it felt like it at the time. And two,

495
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 4: having just come out of a failed marriage, I didn't

496
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,399
Speaker 4: really tell anyone, and this includes Becca, although he also

497
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 4: said he didn't want her to know because I wasn't

498
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 4: putting expectations for it to last.

499
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 1: It was just something fun. Wow, lo and behold.

500
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 4: My mother was in this group chat, along with Becca,

501
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 4: two random chicks, and my now ex boyfriend who I

502
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 4: will call Jack twenty six or twenty seven male at

503
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 4: the time. To this day, I still feel like whoever

504
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 4: sent these messages knew who we all were, because I

505
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 4: have a feeling one of the two unknowns was either

506
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 4: a close friend or family of the other unknown and

507
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 4: possibly knew either Beca or myself plus my own mother.

508
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 4: And I'm gonna pause right here, because yeah, ope, the

509
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 4: people who put you in the scandalous group chat know

510
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 4: you know, all of you.

511
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 1: That is a given.

512
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 4: Becca's mother didn't have Facebook but as but I have

513
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 4: a feeling if she did, she would have been in

514
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 4: this group message too.

515
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: Now, what was in the chat.

516
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 4: Screenshots of messages from Jack's inbox, along with a message

517
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 4: about how quote, it's always seemed like you never truly

518
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 4: know people the way you think you do. Hence the

519
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 4: reason I think it was someone who knew us, because

520
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 4: they clearly connected some dots with people involved. The screenshots

521
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 4: were from messages between Jack and myself, Jack and one

522
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 4: of the two randoms I'll call her Alexa, and unbelievably

523
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 4: Jack and Beca. The screenshots involving myself and Alexa showed

524
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 4: timestaps timestamps that proved he was dating both of us.

525
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: At the same time.

526
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 4: Even though this was just a fun relationship for me,

527
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 4: Jack and I had been friends for a long time

528
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 4: since Becha was a mutual friend and had introduced us.

529
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 4: This dude had legit known me since I was thirteen.

530
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 4: Keep in mind we are now in late twenty twelve

531
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 4: and I am now twenty one, And even though it

532
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 4: was just fun, it's still also hurt because I didn't

533
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 4: think he was that type of guy, so I did

534
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 4: shed quite a bit of tears, but I think it

535
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 4: was more because of the lies than any true hurt.

536
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 4: At this point, however, I should point out that I

537
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 4: did have some suspicions about something, because that was what

538
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 4: had caused our fight less than forty eight hours prior.

539
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 4: The screenshots involving Jack and Becca, though, are the real

540
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 4: reason why I started crying, so keeping in mind, I

541
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 4: was only twenty one at this time and Becca was

542
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 4: twenty six. This was also back when people expected you

543
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 4: to have some form of a life plan before twenty five,

544
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 4: and when most people were still getting married young. In

545
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 4: these messages, Beca was super judgmental towards me. Some background

546
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 4: on Becca and why this pissed me off so much.

547
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 4: She had joined the National Guard and after base she

548
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 4: had been recycled twice during aiit only to be med

549
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 4: boarded because she hurt her back during at training. She

550
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 4: then had also started going to school to be a

551
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 4: sign language interpreter, which she quit doing three fourths of

552
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 4: the way through to her degree. She had also started

553
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 4: two other career paths, one being a paramedic and quit

554
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 4: less than halfway through. I'm interested to know, op how

555
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 4: any what any of this has to do with her

556
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 4: talking down on you. I've heard now that she managed

557
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 4: to get her LMT sometime after I had both of

558
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 4: my kids and it moved States, but I don't know

559
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 4: if it's true or if she just says she is

560
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,360
Speaker 4: a girl you just skipped pregnancy, childbirth, and moving states.

561
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 1: She didn't have her own life together, and here she

562
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 1: was gossiping with him about how I didn't have my

563
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 1: life together. However, in these messages, she was gossiping with

564
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: Jack about me. Again, the timestance are showing that this

565
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: was happening while he was dating me, and also Alexa.

566
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 4: Apparently she was laughing with him about how she has

567
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 4: no idea what she even wants to do. She has

568
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 4: no drive or career path. It's ridiculous. She needs to

569
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 4: stop acting so high and mighty me, who was twenty

570
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 4: one and was actually in the process of trying to

571
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 4: get into college to be a language interpreter because I

572
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 4: wanted to work in the courts. I think she also

573
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 4: found out that I had been speaking to a recruiter

574
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,880
Speaker 4: about joining the army, which that is a whole other

575
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 4: tale that I don't know if I can legally talk about,

576
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 4: and it's why I was never able to join. It

577
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 4: was those messages that fully sealed the deal of hurt,

578
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 4: because I had looked up to this woman as my

579
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 4: big sister. And yes, call me an ahole for dating

580
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 4: her ex because of girl code or whatever, but I

581
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 4: don't think that doing that would warrant the words she

582
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 4: said in those messages.

583
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 1: See now, if you had an X and I wanted

584
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: to date her, the first thing I would go is, hey, hey, Riley,

585
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: if I were to date your ex, how would you

586
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: feel about that? And if you went no, I would go,

587
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 1: all right, I'm not dating your ex, thank you, And

588
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 1: that's how that goes. After that, my mother found out

589
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: about Jack.

590
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 4: I think she was more upset that I had gone

591
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 4: out of state to visit him via Greyhound than me

592
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 4: actually not saying anything. But she was also flabbergasted at

593
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 4: what Becka I had been saying. She even offered to

594
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 4: speak to Becca's mother, but I said no, I was

595
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 4: just going to give a clean break and stop speaking

596
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 4: to her. I had an almost moment of weakness about

597
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 4: six weeks later, when I was working at the State Fair.

598
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 4: I had been working with my mother's family and then

599
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 4: had met someone who owned a business and had a

600
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 4: booth that said he would hire me as a new

601
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 4: employee for his kiosk at.

602
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 1: The mall after the fair was over.

603
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 4: One day, I was walking from my family to the

604
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 4: booth on my lunch break, and I had seen her

605
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 4: and her mother walking when I bent to the right

606
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 4: and was going to playfully shoulder checker. When I remembered why,

607
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 4: I stopped talking to her and quickly disappeared into the crowd.

608
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 4: What you were going to shoulder check her? After ghosting

609
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 4: her for six weeks? When I tell you, it hurts

610
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 4: so much that day to have to force myself not

611
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 4: to do that, I wound up in tears. I don't

612
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 4: think she saw me through, honestly.

613
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: Okay. Cut to probably about ten years ago, twenty fifteen,

614
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: I got a friend request from Facebook. Guess who from

615
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 1: is this? Gonna be her ex fiance who ran off

616
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: with her brothers?

617
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 3: So I want some buying in the story.

618
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 4: Oh no, it was Becca. If you guessed Becca, you

619
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 4: get a cookie. She does in fact have LMT, which

620
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 4: I don't know what that means attached to her name,

621
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 4: So maybe she finally did something with her life.

622
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh God.

623
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 4: I denied the request after it sat there and I

624
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 4: was clearing out friend requests one day, but then, guess what,

625
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 4: not too long before the VID, she friend requested me again.

626
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 4: I blocked her this time as honestly I still haven't

627
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 4: forgiven her, and some people may think I'm an a

628
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 4: hole for that.

629
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: I don't even think you're an a hole for that.

630
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: I think you're like a little baby. I think you're

631
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: an underdeveloped baby about that.

632
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 4: But the feelings of entitlement that she was always giving

633
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 4: off and the backstabbing, which, by the way, those messages

634
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 4: with Jack was not the first time she had stabbed

635
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 4: me in the back, but they were the last. Right

636
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 4: about the time the divorce between my ex and I

637
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 4: was filed, she went and ratted to my parents that

638
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 4: she had bought me booze and I had had a

639
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 4: guy in a hotel room with me us because we

640
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 4: were making a weekend of it. I told her I

641
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 4: wanted to invite someone over for a bit, which she

642
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 4: said was fine, and he was there and gone within

643
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 4: like two hours. No, we did not do the spicy tango,

644
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 4: but she told my parents that we did, which caused

645
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 4: a massive amount of problems, especially with my father. Looking

646
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 4: back now, I think if I think it was her

647
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 4: own form of revenge for all the wedding stuff. Regardless,

648
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 4: though I feel a bit vindicated as I have kids

649
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 4: and a loving partner, and from what I have found out,

650
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 4: she still has no one. I'm living my life and

651
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 4: only think about her when I saw the friend request

652
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 4: before I finally just blocked her, or when I see

653
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 4: stories on this channel that for some reason make me

654
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 4: think of her. This post actually got sparked because I

655
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 4: was talking to someone about the entitled bridal party members.

656
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 4: Looking back, some may say that I was trying to

657
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 4: be her between choosing the same popular dress for my bridesmaids,

658
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 4: going to school to be an interpreter, dating the same

659
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 4: guy that she did, even when I was trying to

660
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 4: join the army. But that one was because I knew

661
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 4: it was a guaranteed fresh start somewhere else, and that

662
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 4: was what I had wanted at the time. As for

663
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 4: the interpreter stuff, I have always been very good with language.

664
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 4: I'm almost completely fluent in six different languages, including sign language. Heck,

665
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 4: she was even the one who took me to events

666
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 4: where I met some of my really good friends who

667
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 4: are all.

668
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 3: Deaf, probably because they don't want to listen to you.

669
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 4: And by the way, you can listen to your really

670
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 4: good friends us when you go listen to full episodes

671
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 4: with stories like this, except probably a little more streamline.

672
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: Just go ahead and go to iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts

673
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts from and search.

674
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 4: Okay, storytime, and then the world is oyster. So we

675
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 4: have a little bit of a story left.

676
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: Let's get it over with, shall we.

677
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, please put me on my misery, but honestly, out

678
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 6: of all of it, her sense of entitlement over a

679
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 6: bridesmaid's dress as though it was hers and hers alone,

680
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 6: the expectation that she would be promoted to mate of

681
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 6: honor just because she had known me the longest, and

682
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 6: the ragging about a twenty one year old not having

683
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 6: her life put together when she was twenty six or

684
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 6: twenty seven, that's all really took the cake for me.

685
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 4: Wow, So you threw away a lifetime of friendship for

686
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 4: really just like pettiness and not hearing her out or understanding.

687
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: Her at all.

688
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 4: Because I could sit here and I can see why

689
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 4: she would be upset about that, because do you realize

690
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 4: how traumatic that would probably be that your fiance leaves

691
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 4: you for your brother's wife, Like that's a permanent family

692
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 4: dynamic change. I don't even know if OPI is like

693
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 4: emotionally matured or grown enough to like know that she's.

694
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 5: An a hole in this situation.

695
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 4: Other people have told her that and that's why she's like,

696
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 4: I guess I am.

697
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 3: I don't know. This just sounds exhausting And if I honestly,

698
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 3: if we heard this from Becca's point of view, we

699
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 3: would think that OPI is the a hole.

700
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, But look, the bride's maid dress thing is

701
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 4: just understanding. She's probably triggered by it because it's reminding

702
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 4: her of her traumatic marriage ending. It blew up her

703
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 4: entire family. Probably not only did it hurt her, hurt

704
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 4: her brother. And now op is just being like, ugh,

705
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 4: and you were you were copying everything she did. You

706
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 4: copied her boyfriends, dude, you copied her career paths.

707
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: And then you want to be like, she doesn't have

708
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: her line together at twenty soo. By the way, nobody

709
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: has their lives together. We are all guessing and figuring

710
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: it out at every moment. Like, let's be honest, I

711
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel like I'm doing pretty good cool,

712
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: I was being a dic k.

713
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: Hey, it's sam og host. We're gonna get back to

714
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

715
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 2: our sponsors to help support the show.

716
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 7: My girlfriend got upset when I told her to buy

717
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 7: new clothes.

718
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 5: She didn't like my reason. Are you gonna pay for them?

719
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 5: That's not happening. And then then why are you even

720
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 5: saying anything.

721
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 7: I'm twenty three, finishing my last year for my masters.

722
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 7: My girlfriend, Sarah is twenty from the same university. Her

723
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 7: parents are Abuti and they all grew up dirt poor.

724
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from Consistent Outcome eight and

725
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 7: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

726
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 7: our slash oky story time Separate it. So Sarah is

727
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 7: very beautiful with no clothes on. She's literally the easiest

728
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 7: thing alive to me, Rah, whoa The problem lies in

729
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 7: the addendum. With clothes on, she dresses like an effing

730
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,280
Speaker 7: homeless person.

731
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 5: You're the a hole.

732
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 7: Her clothes are all tattered with holes in them and

733
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 7: worn out. They don't fit properly, and most of her

734
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,319
Speaker 7: outfits just plainly look ridiculous. She would wear red on

735
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 7: red and look like an effing period stain. She gets

736
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 7: them from the local goodwill because it's the only thing

737
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 7: she can afford. It's the only thing she can afford.

738
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 7: Perhaps we can use on brains. I'm genuinely embarrassed sometimes

739
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 7: when she accompanies me sedates, because I scratch my head

740
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 7: thinking how someone so beautiful can show up looking so ugly.

741
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 5: She doesn't have money.

742
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 7: Oh my god, my parents and friends have common and

743
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 7: on it too. Heck, just last weekend when we went

744
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 7: to the pool, my mom said, Wow, I didn't know

745
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 7: your girlfriend was actually pretty. It's because she wore a

746
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:54,399
Speaker 7: plane bathing suit.

747
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 5: The whole time.

748
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,360
Speaker 7: I mentioned the abuse thing because I feel like, at

749
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 7: some point growing up, her parents had to have been

750
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 7: negligent to let their child leave the house looking like that.

751
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 7: My parents are upper middle class because I got enough

752
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 7: scholarships to go to school for basically free. My parents

753
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 7: decided to give me fifty thousand dollars as a graduation

754
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 7: gift that I never touch. I decided, Hey, maybe I

755
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 7: should help my girlfriend look presentable, So I gave her

756
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 7: a five thousand dollars gift card for Macy's for our

757
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,399
Speaker 7: one year anniversary yesterday and told her that she can

758
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 7: use it for a shopping spree.

759
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 5: She was very.

760
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 7: Grateful but said she couldn't accept it. I'm sorry, I

761
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 7: probably wouldn't accept five thousand dollars. Yeah, that's insane.

762
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 1: I would be so uncomfortable.

763
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,719
Speaker 7: She was very grateful but said she couldn't accept it.

764
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 7: She gave me a watch and a card, which I

765
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 7: loved and am very appreciative of. I asked her why not, and.

766
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 5: She said it was too much. I told her it

767
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 5: was just as much.

768
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 7: A gift for me as it was for her, and

769
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 7: when she asked me to elaborate, I basically admitted that

770
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 7: her clothes make her look like a homeless person and

771
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 7: wanted to teach her how to dress and give her

772
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 7: a new wardrobe.

773
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 5: Okay, part of me obviously terrible things day. Part of

774
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,240
Speaker 5: me is really excited for like the two thousands montage

775
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 5: like shopping that could happen. Hate how it came up.

776
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 7: See see if this were in early nineties, Yeah, rom com. Yeah,

777
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 7: but you're also like you're like enemies to lovers, Like

778
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:17,240
Speaker 7: you're not a relationship, but your enemies to levers.

779
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 5: You're like somehow you're fake dating or something. Yeah, like

780
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 5: you're somehow assigned to like help this girl outeah in

781
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 5: some sort of weird program.

782
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 7: And you're like, oh, girl, you really need a makeover.

783
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 7: She actually got really offended at me and we had

784
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 7: a huge fight. She accused me of finding her unattractive,

785
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 7: which is absolutely not true. She just can't dress and

786
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 7: told me if I just wanted a trophy girl to

787
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,360
Speaker 7: look at, find someone else.

788
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 5: Yet, period period. Good on her for saying that.

789
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I tried to be as sympathetic as I could,

790
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 7: but frankly, I was pissed off by her reaction. I

791
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 7: didn't even put the onus on her to buy new clothes.

792
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 7: I gave her five thousand dollars to buy a whole

793
00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 7: new wardrobe and she reacts like this, you are so

794
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 7: out of touch, it's shocking.

795
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness.

796
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 7: It was very inconsiderate, over the top reaction, especially considering

797
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 7: I'm the one paying for it. My friends all agree

798
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 7: with me that what she did was over the top,

799
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 7: but my sister said she was probably embarrassed in the

800
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 7: way I went about it, and I was being a clown.

801
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 5: At least your sister can have a little bit of sense.

802
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 7: I truly don't see how I'm in the wrong at

803
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 7: all in this situation, So Reddit help me understand. Am

804
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 7: I the ale for offering to pay for a brand

805
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:29,800
Speaker 7: new wardrobe?

806
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 5: We're about to witness a level of the visceration that

807
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 5: we don't often see in Reddit stories. Yeah, or at

808
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 5: least we see it sometimes, but this is the most justified.

809
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 7: Oh boy, I'm excited, Oh boy, oh boy, I'm excited

810
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 7: to let you get a viscerated relevant comments Black and shredded.

811
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 5: You're the Ale one hundred percent, unequivocally. Lmfao. You compared

812
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:57,720
Speaker 5: her to a period stain.

813
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, the way you speak about her is a but

814
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 7: I'm not surprised by how self absorbed person an egotistical

815
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 7: you come off in your post. You fail to see

816
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 7: why your girlfriend's feelings might be hurt. Take a step back,

817
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 7: think of productive ways to address the problem, and stop

818
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 7: acting like an effing tool. Opie says, I didn't compare

819
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 7: her to a period stained to her face. I was

820
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,879
Speaker 7: just saying that to emphasize how bad she's dressing up

821
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 7: and how bad her clothes are. I truly think that

822
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 7: people are saying you're the Ale just don't realize how

823
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 7: bad she dresses I get shat.

824
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 5: On all the time.

825
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:31,760
Speaker 7: It's not like, Wow, she should probably choose a different outfit.

826
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,799
Speaker 7: It's more like, what the f Why is she wearing

827
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 7: dresses with giant holes in them with tattered shoes that

828
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 7: don't get together?

829
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh.

830
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 7: Kurry An says, you're the a hole. Did it never

831
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 7: occur to you that maybe she likes her clothes, Opie?

832
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 7: She literally wears clothes with holes and admits she has

833
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 7: absolutely no fashion sense. I've had four different friends on

834
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 7: different occasions ask me why she's wearing what she's wearing.

835
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 7: For example, one time we went on a fancy dinner

836
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 7: date and she wore a tattered red dress shirt three

837
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 7: sizes too big with a skirt with polka dots and

838
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 7: look just silly. I get I sound blunt rude in

839
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,919
Speaker 7: my post, but I'm trying to emphasize just how bad

840
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 7: she dresses. Korean says, so that's a no. You can't

841
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 7: imagine that she might actually like the clothes she's chosen.

842
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 7: Opie says, no, she doesn't love dirty, dingy clothes with

843
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 7: holes in it. If anything, she might be too prideful

844
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 7: to take money from me. But why would anyone like old, tattered,

845
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 7: up ding dingy, discolored clothes. She might like her style,

846
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 7: but the quality of clothing is atrocious Korean, I know

847
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 7: people who like wearing dirty things with the holes in them.

848
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 7: You've talked about what you think about her clothes. You

849
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 7: talked about what your parents think about her clothes. You

850
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 7: talked about what your friends think about her clothes. But

851
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,439
Speaker 7: you don't seem to know or care what she thinks

852
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 7: about her clothes. That's why you're the ale. Any response

853
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 7: other than I previously I previously asked her and she

854
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 7: said she didn't like her clothes.

855
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 5: Just makes you worse.

856
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 7: Honestly, even if she said she didn't like her clothes,

857
00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 7: you're still ale. Yeah, I'm sorry, offerings I want five

858
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 7: thousand dollars and telling them that insulting how they dress. Again,

859
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 7: for a person who can't afford to buy better clothes,

860
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,280
Speaker 7: you are the a hole automatically.

861
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like if this was something where it was like,

862
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 5: you know, she expressed a lot of curiosity or like

863
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 5: excitement about clothes, but she just couldn't afford it, and

864
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 5: she like really wanted to you know, shop here and

865
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 5: there whatever, And then you gave her this good card

866
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,959
Speaker 5: because of that, that would be super nice. Still a lot, Yeah,

867
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 5: but like but the fact that you're just like, yeah,

868
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 5: please spend my money. Please spend five thousand dollars of

869
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 5: my money so that you don't embarrass me in public,

870
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 5: It's like, Oh, get over yourself. Oh my god, get

871
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 5: over yourself.

872
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 4: Edit.

873
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 7: I got a few comments already that I only mentioned. Look,

874
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 7: so I'm the a hole. But why the heck would

875
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 7: I mention things like how much I love when she

876
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 7: kisses my cheek when she thinks I'm asleep, or that

877
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 7: when she goes to the store and asks if I

878
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 7: want anything and I say no, she'll still pick up

879
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 7: something small just because or the fact that we communicate

880
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 7: amazingly and for the most part, never have any major conflicts,

881
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,959
Speaker 7: or any other non appearance looking attribute. It just wasn't

882
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 7: relevant to the station at hand. Edit. I want to reiterate,

883
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 7: I'd be fine with her shopping at Goodwill if she

884
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,479
Speaker 7: bought clothes that made her look presentable. I'm just saying

885
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 7: her fashion sense is atrocious. Mixed with the fact that

886
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 7: she does tend to buy, didn't she clothes that tend

887
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 7: to get rips holes in it?

888
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 5: Easily.

889
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 7: She never replaces her clothes, so she wears years old,

890
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 7: hand me down clothes with horrible fashion sense. So she

891
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 7: looks silly. I know, me continuously reitering just how silly

892
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 7: she looks makes me sound like an a hole. But

893
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 7: I literally get people commenting on her fashion sense. Literal

894
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 7: strangers common on it. She looks genuinely ridiculous, and I

895
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 7: don't know how to emphasize just how bad she dresses

896
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,479
Speaker 7: without sounding like a tool. Last edit, I genuinely don't

897
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 7: think people understand the extent. So I'm gonna enlist some

898
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 7: experience I've had with her dressing like she does. The

899
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 7: one I've mentioned in the op my mom when she

900
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 7: said I didn't think she was actually pretty. I was

901
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 7: hanging with some friends and some strangers, and when my

902
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 7: girlfriend went to the bathroom, a stranger said, it looks

903
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,879
Speaker 7: like she just came from panhandling.

904
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 5: So here's the moment we're used to think to yourself, Hey,

905
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 5: I love my girlfriend. I still think she's beautiful. I

906
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 5: don't care what she wears. I don't care what strangers think.

907
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 5: That's what you say. That's what you say in that situation, not.

908
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 3: Like, oh my gosh.

909
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 5: I can't believe a random person thinks my girlfriend was panhandling. Ah,

910
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 5: that's not that's not what you're saying.

911
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 7: I've had a stranger ask if we had a costume

912
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 7: convention we're going to. On two different occasions, I've had

913
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 7: young children comment. The first said why do you look

914
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 7: so funny? And the second said why do you dress

915
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 7: the strange. I've had multiple different friends on multiple different

916
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 7: occasions asked why she dresses so eccentrically. It's not just

917
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 7: me acting like a wiener or being shallow. It's a

918
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:44,240
Speaker 7: genuine problem.

919
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 5: No, it's not.

920
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 7: But I will say that she doesn't purposely ruin her clothes.

921
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 7: I'm certain she either is just unaware of how she dresses.

922
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 7: A couple of use victims commented and said it was

923
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,320
Speaker 7: likely because they were mistreated and they share similar experiences

924
00:42:56,360 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 7: as my girlfriend. Her wearing bad clothes isn't a fashion statement.

925
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,360
Speaker 7: I'm pretty sure she's just unaware.

926
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 5: Verdict ahole, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but there.

927
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 7: Is an update atit. We have since talked about the

928
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,359
Speaker 7: problem and it's pretty much resolved. So I finally talked

929
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 7: to my girlfriend. She's with me right now. Before I

930
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 7: had a chance to apologize, she burst out crying. When

931
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 7: she finally stopped, she was able to open up. Apparently,

932
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 7: her parents were extremely abusive, even worse than I originally thought.

933
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 7: Up until she was eighteen, she only had one outfit,

934
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 7: just one. Her parents had a ton of weird, oddly

935
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 7: specific ways to control their children, like For example, they

936
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 7: tried to force her to be right handed because she

937
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 7: was lefty, where they made her only take cold showers

938
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 7: for mental fortitude. When she finally got from her parents' control,

939
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 7: she had no idea how to dress, so she went

940
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 7: to Goodwill and just bought a bunch of colorful clothes

941
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 7: that looked neat. She had absolutely no experience in dressing herself,

942
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 7: and she never really felt like she should ask. She

943
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 7: just assumed one shirt, one pant equals one outfit, regardless

944
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 7: of the color, of size, wear, tear, et cetera. When

945
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 7: I pointed out her style was strange, she got extremely

946
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 7: defensive because she was never confronted with this before. She

947
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 7: thought her sense of style was average, and when in

948
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 7: previous attempts I tried to subtly bring up to wear

949
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 7: a different outfit, she just thought that that outfit was bad.

950
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,879
Speaker 7: When I explicitly said in general, her style was bad.

951
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 7: She just felt completely embarrassed. We're going shopping tomorrow and

952
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 7: buying her a bunch of new clothes. I apologize for

953
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 7: not bringing up more tactfully, and she insisted it was okay,

954
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 7: and she probably wouldn't have gotten the hint if I

955
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 7: kept beating around the bush. But we don't want to

956
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 7: beat around the bush with you, because you can listen

957
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 7: to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go

958
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 7: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search.

959
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:41,320
Speaker 5: A pokey storytime.

960
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 7: But there is a little bit more left of the story.

961
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 7: I guess I'm glad that you guys worked it out.

962
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, my advice for you is to work on how

963
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 5: you talk to people. Absolutely, because even from the beginning, Yeah,

964
00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 5: even if it wasn't some sort of like you know,

965
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 5: thing about the clothes being you know, tattered and torn

966
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 5: and like cheap clothes or something like that, even if

967
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,279
Speaker 5: it was just genuinely she wanted to wear red on

968
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:14,359
Speaker 5: red and wanted to look like a period stain because no, like,

969
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:17,919
Speaker 5: I'm so for like experimenting with your clothes. Just wear

970
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 5: what you want because that's fun. Especially if she has

971
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 5: no like outer influences. I know, like there's all this

972
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 5: stuff in her bass, which just emphasizes the problem. But

973
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 5: even if that wasn't the case, and she just genuinely

974
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 5: didn't pay attention to it before, just genuinely didn't have

975
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 5: like trends pushed on her and something like that, then

976
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 5: that's even better that she has this like just creative

977
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 5: exactly like mine, just being like, oh, yeah, these colors

978
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 5: look great. I like these colors, so I want to

979
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:44,319
Speaker 5: put them together and I want to wear them.

980
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,800
Speaker 7: That's such a great point because I feel like finding

981
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 7: as someone who, like I grew up going to Catholic

982
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 7: school and wearing a uniform all the time. When I

983
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,839
Speaker 7: started wearing my own clothes and picking out my own

984
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 7: outfits and stuff, it started off like not probably not great, yeah,

985
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 7: And then you know, I've started figuring out what my

986
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 7: style was ably, and I would say, like sometimes I

987
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 7: do dress a little bit more like eccentrically or you know,

988
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 7: not trendly, and because I like it, and I like

989
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 7: dressing kind of you know, I love colors, I love patterns,

990
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 7: and it's like you're figuring out your own style and

991
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 7: just because it's not you know, a trendy or something

992
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 7: or what other people think that you should wear.

993
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 5: Who cares.

994
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 7: Thank you for the people who tactfully told me I

995
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 7: was the a hole, and thanks to the others who

996
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 7: took my concerns seriously besides just completely dismissing me because

997
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 7: they personally hadn't had my experience. Black and Shredded comes

998
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 7: back with another relevant comment. I read through all Opie's

999
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,320
Speaker 7: replies and edits, and I decided to change my judgment.

1000
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 7: According to Opie, he gets countless people comment on his

1001
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 7: girlfriend's appearance, including having people be genuinely surprised when not

1002
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 7: in clothing, had complete strangers comment and say it looks

1003
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 7: like she came from panhandling, had young children comment children

1004
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 7: are brutally honest. Had many people comment and ask I

1005
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 7: don't think I'm particularly material. But if that many people

1006
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 7: are commenting about her clothing choice, something is wrong. If

1007
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 7: one person did, then he's an ale, If three they're

1008
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 7: the ale. But that many, I'm starting to think you

1009
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 7: may have a point in being embarrassed. You didn't approach

1010
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 7: it the best, but that can be blamed on your autism.

1011
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 7: Being autistic doesn't completely absolve you, but at the end

1012
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,839
Speaker 7: of the day, you were trying to do a nice

1013
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,439
Speaker 7: thing and just went about it completely terribly. I can't

1014
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 7: in good conscious keep my previous judgment. I do recommend

1015
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 7: talking to her, obviously, but you said you plan to later.

1016
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 5: Good luck.

1017
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 7: I hope it all everything turns out. Well, what you're

1018
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 7: gonna do, say what you gonna do when I think

1019
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,919
Speaker 7: the responses to this aren't fair. Just because you didn't

1020
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 7: see ahead what some criticisms were going to be doesn't

1021
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 7: mean that your responses aren't true.

1022
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 5: Reddit loves a bandwagon. I don't agree with these comments.

1023
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,120
Speaker 7: I also don't think they're fair because I believe you

1024
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 7: wrote your post more harshly than you probably presented to her.

1025
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 7: But Reddit assumes the worst in that situation. Okay, well,

1026
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 7: Reddit seems to have turned around on the last posts.

1027
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:00,919
Speaker 7: I don't agree, but you know, I'm glad that Ope,

1028
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 7: you know, seemed to have come to some sort of realization.

1029
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, glad to talk to that. Glad you know they

1030
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 5: can figure it out. But definitely work on your tack,

1031
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 5: work on your tact.

1032
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,919
Speaker 7: Yeah, absolutely, And don't just hand out five thousand dollars

1033
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,919
Speaker 7: to people and then be like, why would they take them,

1034
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 7: aren't they grateful?

1035
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 5: And that's kind of like really condescending, especially since you

1036
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 5: want her to change.

1037
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 7: Yeah, you directly want her to change because you're embarrassed

1038
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 7: at her.

1039
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's extremely condescending, patronizing. I got an international trip

1040
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,879
Speaker 5: for me and my boyfriend, but he's not excited about it,

1041
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,479
Speaker 5: then give it to me. There you go, hand it over.

1042
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 5: So for one of my boyfriend's Christmas presents, I revealed

1043
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 5: that I have bought us a ten day holiday to

1044
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 5: Italy for his fortieth birthday. It's five days in Rome

1045
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 5: and five days by Lake Garda in some lush accommodation,

1046
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 5: and I have even bought us business class tickets. Say, man,

1047
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 5: I want to go. Oh it's crazy. By the way,

1048
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 5: this comes from deleted and if you want to submit

1049
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,479
Speaker 5: your own stories, just go to the r slash okay

1050
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 5: storytime separreddit. So he has only traveled outside of the

1051
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 5: UK twice in his life, and during a conversation ages ago,

1052
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 5: he let it slip that Italy is on his bucket

1053
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 5: list and that he really wants to start going on

1054
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 5: holidays outside of the UK. The problem is, however, that

1055
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 5: when he was told about as present, he seemed really

1056
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 5: underwhelmed by it. I'm not sure if it's me needing

1057
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 5: to adjust my expectations, but he just gave such an

1058
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:33,399
Speaker 5: unenthusiastic monotone Okay, thanks, that's great, and said no more.

1059
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 5: That is upsetting. I would be pissed. Yeah what. Later on,

1060
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 5: I tried making conversation to build up some sort of

1061
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 5: enthusiastic response, but he just didn't respond with any sort

1062
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 5: of joy. It always seems to happen if I get

1063
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,240
Speaker 5: excited about something, he just becomes non responsive or feels

1064
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 5: like he needs to bring me down to earth. But

1065
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,399
Speaker 5: I don't understand why he's doing this. When I got

1066
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 5: in something he only dreamed of being able to do,

1067
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 5: I asked what he would like to see or what

1068
00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 5: food he is looking forward to try, and he just

1069
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,280
Speaker 5: rugged and said I don't know. Or when I said

1070
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 5: what I've seen before, how awesome places like Pompeii are

1071
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:09,240
Speaker 5: to visit, he just gives basic platitudes of uh huh

1072
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 5: and doesn't even look up from his phone. The thing is,

1073
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 5: his favorite dessert is tearing me Sue, and he loves pizza.

1074
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 5: Yet he just seems so disinterested and it's completely just

1075
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,719
Speaker 5: not engaged in any conversation about Italy at all. I

1076
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 5: don't understand it all, and now I feel stupid for

1077
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 5: being so excited. It's honestly really upset me, as I

1078
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 5: put so much effort into all of this, and I

1079
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,879
Speaker 5: don't make a lot of money. I work part time

1080
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,359
Speaker 5: and aim on disability benefits, so I had to save

1081
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 5: up for so long to get this for him. I'm

1082
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 5: going to try and calm down a bit and talk

1083
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 5: to him this evening, but I just wanted to know

1084
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 5: beforehand if I'm thinking about this the wrong way before

1085
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:44,360
Speaker 5: I do.

1086
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: So.

1087
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,879
Speaker 5: There are some comments Logical with Sabby seventy four zero

1088
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:52,399
Speaker 5: two says, Hey, I noticed you weren't very happy about

1089
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:53,919
Speaker 5: the gift I got you. Can you tell me why?

1090
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 7: Exactly what I was gonna say? Talk to your husband

1091
00:50:56,960 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 7: say hey, not like this, but like it's up with

1092
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 7: the reaction, you know. Yeah, just have that conversation, because

1093
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 7: good relationship is nothing without communication exactly exactly.

1094
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 5: Ope response, Yeah, I'm going to talk about it later,

1095
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 5: and was essentially going to ask this, but I wanted

1096
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 5: to see if there were things I hadn't considered so

1097
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:17,800
Speaker 5: I can go into the convo even more open minded,

1098
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 5: not for coming do you no, whatever that is, I'm

1099
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 5: going to talk about it later. Shame he didn't talk

1100
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 5: about it before. I hope it's refundable. Fluvey Puppy says,

1101
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,440
Speaker 5: just saw Pea's history that her boyfriend broke up with

1102
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 5: her two months ago. Oh whoa was little spoiler for

1103
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 5: an update.

1104
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 7: No, I think like two months before this post he

1105
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 7: had broken up and maybe they got together.

1106
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 5: Oh no, oh.

1107
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:48,760
Speaker 7: My gosh, probably already on the rocks.

1108
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 5: I probably wouldn't have done this big of a thing.

1109
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 5: We just broken up. Yeah, not good. If this is

1110
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 5: the same boyfriend and somehow the two you reconciled, it's

1111
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 5: maybe that he's already checked out of the relationship and

1112
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 5: thought of spending ten days in his dream country with

1113
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,840
Speaker 5: you with when issues aren't sorted out yet and the

1114
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 5: two of you aren't exactly in the best place. Is

1115
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:14,240
Speaker 5: more stressful than exciting. Uh not for commenting on Google's

1116
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 5: that says if she leaves out such violent info, how

1117
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 5: the heck can she get good advice? It's obviously the explanation.

1118
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 5: Static Caravan says, So did you break up or were

1119
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 5: you lying on your previous post? OPI responds, I posted

1120
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 5: a comment and he broke up with me like an

1121
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,399
Speaker 5: hour after he said that he wanted to break up,

1122
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 5: but less than twenty four hours than that, he calmed

1123
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 5: down from his breakdown and regretted everything. So no lying here.

1124
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 5: So they didn't break up Okay, okay, but probably not

1125
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 5: in a great place still, Yeah, I think so. I've

1126
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 5: seen him get really excited when playing new games, et cetera.

1127
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 5: But it's weird if I'm excited about something he hardly

1128
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 5: ever is, and as I was excited to tell him,

1129
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 5: it's typical that he didn't respond in the same manner.

1130
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 5: Before this, he was absolutely fine and talking to me

1131
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,760
Speaker 5: like normal, which is what made it feel weird, because

1132
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 5: he seemed to almost shut down when being told we

1133
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 5: aren't rich at all. He doesn't make more money than me,

1134
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 5: but we aren't flushed with cash at all. He is

1135
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 5: very much not the type of person that plans anything.

1136
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 5: In his words, he is a very content person that

1137
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 5: does not think on things unless they are put in

1138
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,360
Speaker 5: front of him. And he likes that. I think of

1139
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,360
Speaker 5: all of these wonderful things for us to do together.

1140
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 5: So normally date nights, small breaks, even what we eat

1141
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:31,320
Speaker 5: is down to me getting as much info as I

1142
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 5: can from him, and then filling in the gaps where

1143
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 5: he doesn't say anything. It's a lot of effort. Is

1144
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,799
Speaker 5: he even talking to you, have great question or even

1145
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 5: having conversation. The thing is, though, I don't expect him

1146
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 5: to be on my level at all, as I'm a

1147
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:47,320
Speaker 5: bubbly person, but he seems less excited about this despite

1148
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 5: me booking exactly where he has said he's wanted to go,

1149
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 5: compared to even the last day I took him on

1150
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 5: a winter Wonderland nighttime walk around Birmingham Botanical Gardens. That

1151
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 5: sounds beautiful. Yeah, it's just really thrown me as he

1152
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,479
Speaker 5: hasn't been this disinterested in something I've planned ever. Yet

1153
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 5: it's exactly what he has said he has wanted. And

1154
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 5: we do have an update. Do we have any thoughts

1155
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 5: before we roll into that. I don't know.

1156
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 7: It seems like you guys have maybe some unresolved issues.

1157
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,720
Speaker 5: That's my only thought. Yeah, like that that one commenter

1158
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,879
Speaker 5: said something that I was kind of thinking of too,

1159
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 5: of like maybe he's just checked out of the relationship.

1160
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 5: Like that's what it feels like, even if they didn't

1161
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,839
Speaker 5: previously break up. Maybe he has kind of thought about

1162
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:31,280
Speaker 5: it again.

1163
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 7: Well, the fact that he thought about he said it, yeah,

1164
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 7: and then went back on it, and we don't think

1165
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 7: about it.

1166
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, we don't know all the info on that, but

1167
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:42,800
Speaker 5: I could definitely be possible. And he's just like avoiding

1168
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 5: it and being like, yeah, so excited. It's kind of

1169
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 5: like how I feel like at my job, at my

1170
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 5: other job, Like I'm like gonna put my two weeks

1171
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 5: in like tomorrow, and we're talking about like plans for

1172
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:58,799
Speaker 5: the future, and I'm like, yeah, it's really cool.

1173
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 3: I love it.

1174
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:05,720
Speaker 5: Awkward people, it's Christmas. I've been with my family enjoying

1175
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:07,720
Speaker 5: it and not on my phone. I have an update,

1176
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 5: but my first. But first, I wanted to point out

1177
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 5: two months ago, my boyfriend finally stood up to his mother.

1178
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 5: As a result, she disowned him. He had an utter breakdown,

1179
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,240
Speaker 5: and he went on a self destructive rampage that included

1180
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 5: him breaking up with me with the excuse that he

1181
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 5: can't handle my disability. This lasted for less than twenty

1182
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 5: four hours before he calmed down and regretted everything. I

1183
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:29,799
Speaker 5: understand how he got to the point he did, and

1184
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 5: I don't hold it against him for people to almost

1185
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 5: find joy in finding a comment when I was besides mine,

1186
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,239
Speaker 5: when I was beside myself is really odd. You can

1187
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 5: judge me and him all you want for this, but

1188
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:44,440
Speaker 5: I stand by him as I witness his mother's firsthand.

1189
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 5: So my actual update, he rang me before I had

1190
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 5: the chance to sit him down as we as he

1191
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:51,879
Speaker 5: went for a drive for a bit whilst I went

1192
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,359
Speaker 5: to see my parents. He is feeling it a lot

1193
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 5: with not seeing his family this Christmas. He needed to

1194
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 5: drive around to calm himself down. And on top of this,

1195
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 5: he is let me know that one of the two

1196
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 5: times he went abroad was a nasty ex that basically

1197
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 5: shamed and belittled him the entire trip because she paid

1198
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:09,400
Speaker 5: for it.

1199
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 7: All.

1200
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:14,320
Speaker 5: Okay, interesting, so when I said I got him a holiday,

1201
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 5: he had kind of a flashback of that. But he's

1202
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 5: basically apologized and is already saying what he's excited to do, okay,

1203
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 5: and that you know what exactly communication, We get more context.

1204
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:28,319
Speaker 7: We learned, and he's not checked out the relationship. He

1205
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 7: was just having flashbacks to another relationship.

1206
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 5: Thank you all for taking the time to respond, whether

1207
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 5: it was to support or to offer a different viewpoint.

1208
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:39,800
Speaker 5: Merry Christmas do all. But that's the end of the story. Wow.

1209
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 5: But I mean, by the way, you can always find

1210
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 5: more episodes with full stories just like this one. You

1211
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 5: could go to your favorite podcast now, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1212
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 5: whatever you want and search. Okay, story time, we'll be

1213
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 5: there for you. But again, that is the end of

1214
00:56:57,719 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 5: the story. Yeah.

1215
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 7: Well, perhaps to you for having the conversation that you

1216
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:02,600
Speaker 7: needed to have and figuring it out.

1217
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,800
Speaker 5: Yes, you get to go to go to Rome, man, Yes,

1218
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:06,839
Speaker 5: and enjoy it.

1219
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:11,160
Speaker 7: Oh you know what, go to Rome. Krishna thirteen. Great

1220
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 7: Indian place. Oh, really excellent Indian food.

1221
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 1: Wow in Rome.

1222
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 5: Yeah that's cool. I think best Indian food I've ever had.

1223
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 7: Whoah, Wow, that's pretty cool or maybe one of the best.

1224
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 1: Wow.

1225
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 5: Common below if you've been there. Yeah, Christia thirteen. I

1226
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 5: think that's what's called.

1227
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Jean here. We're gonna get back to this episode.

1228
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break with the aswer More sponsors.

1229
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 7: I made my partner miss a family trip because he

1230
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 7: refused to act like an adult.

1231
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 5: Why don't you cry about it like a little baby?

1232
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 7: Who My twenty six female and my partner twenty eight

1233
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 7: male have five daughters seven, six, four, three and five months. Wow,

1234
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 7: that's a lot of daughters. For a long time, there's

1235
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 7: been an issue with him getting up to help with

1236
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,919
Speaker 7: the kids every morning. He thinks he should be able

1237
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 7: to sleep in on his days off of work. Well,

1238
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 7: I think he should get up with the kids and

1239
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 7: I do, or should at least be alternating who lies

1240
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 7: in a bit?

1241
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think so.

1242
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you

1243
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 7: want to submit your own stories, go to our slash

1244
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 7: Okay storytime Separate. We've been seeing a therapist who is

1245
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 7: mentioned he should be helping more in the mornings. Recently,

1246
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 7: we had a family trip planned to the zoo with

1247
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 7: both of our parents, our sisters, and their kids. Previously,

1248
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 7: we've gone out for the day. I've needed to shake

1249
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 7: my partner awake several times, and he lies in bed

1250
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 7: while I get the kids ready. He'll finally get up

1251
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 7: five minutes before we leave as I shout at him

1252
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 7: I'm getting in the car. I mentioned to him that

1253
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 7: this is very frustrating, as it's a lot of work

1254
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:40,760
Speaker 7: getting the kids ready to go out, and it's not

1255
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 7: fair to leave it up to me while he lies

1256
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 7: in bed. He'd apologize and promise that the next time

1257
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 7: he get up and help. The night before the trip,

1258
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 7: I told him I'd need him to be awake at

1259
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 7: six thirty am so we could get everyone ready to

1260
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,360
Speaker 7: leave by eight am. He said he'd set an alarm

1261
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:58,600
Speaker 7: and we went to bed. My alarm went off at

1262
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 7: six thirty am, and I got up while my partner

1263
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 7: kept sleeping. I decided I wasn't going to wakem this

1264
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:07,600
Speaker 7: time and continue getting the kids ready. At eight am,

1265
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 7: he was still sleeping, so I loaded the kids in

1266
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 7: the car and we set off. We arrived at the

1267
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 7: zoo at nine thirty am, and his family asked where

1268
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 7: he was. I mentioned he was still in bed and

1269
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 7: chose not to come. Why wouldn't you wake him up?

1270
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 5: That's what I'm wondering. I would totally wake him up.

1271
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 7: Okay, So Opie is basically saying I have tried before.

1272
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 7: I've had to shake him awake, and it's frustrating always

1273
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 7: having to wake him up to get him to do this.

1274
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:34,160
Speaker 5: I see.

1275
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 7: At ten fifteen am, I got a phone call from

1276
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 7: him asking where everyone was.

1277
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 5: Dude, ten fifteen.

1278
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 7: I said, we went to the zoo as planned, and

1279
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 7: I waited for him to get up, but he never did.

1280
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 7: He got really mad and told me that I should

1281
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 7: have woken him up like I always do, and I

1282
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 7: caused him to miss the trip. He then called his

1283
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 7: mom and complained to her, who yelled at me in

1284
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 7: the middle of the zoo that I was being unfair

1285
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 7: and I shouldn't give him a shake to let him

1286
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 7: know he needed to to get up.

1287
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:01,480
Speaker 5: And then I was about to leave.

1288
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 7: My mother jumped in and said it wasn't my responsibility

1289
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 7: to get him out of bed and he needed to

1290
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 7: take responsibility for himself. A few more words were exchanged,

1291
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 7: and his family stalked off for the rest of the trip.

1292
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 7: I had a blast with my kids, parents, sisters, and

1293
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 7: my nephews. When we got home, my partners started up

1294
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:20,640
Speaker 7: on me again about how I should have woken him up.

1295
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 7: So am I the ale for not waking him up

1296
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 7: and going without him? A few things have come up

1297
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,720
Speaker 7: I want to clarify. He wasn't always like this. When

1298
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,280
Speaker 7: the oldest two were little, he was always up with them.

1299
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 7: He even got up before anyone else to cook breakfast

1300
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 7: before going off to work. We had to move in

1301
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 7: with his parents at one point and that's where things

1302
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:44,560
Speaker 7: started to change. His family are incredibly misogynistic. Dad works,

1303
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 7: then comes home, watches TV and drinks adult soda while

1304
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 7: his mom does everything else, including getting him up for work. Yeah,

1305
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 7: these beliefs seem to have rubbed off on him, and

1306
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,440
Speaker 7: his mom is very quick to tell him something is

1307
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:58,640
Speaker 7: the woman's job. He's seeing a therapist independently. It was

1308
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 7: suggested some form of depression. He's generally pretty good. Otherwise,

1309
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 7: he will help with dinner, cleaning, putting the kids to bed,

1310
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 7: et cetera.

1311
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:07,040
Speaker 5: He's not entirely useless.

1312
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 7: Getting out of bed in the morning is a long

1313
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 7: standing issue, though he has a vasectomy. He had a

1314
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 7: vasectomy after baby number four, which turned out to be incomplete.

1315
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 7: I had a hysterectomy. I think give it a chance,

1316
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,959
Speaker 7: see if the therapy is working. But you should also

1317
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 7: just tell him, like, hey, you can't go to I

1318
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 7: understand that we're at odds here, but you can't go

1319
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 7: to your mother. Yeah, to fight your battles for you,

1320
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 7: comment one, not the a hole. I taught my daughter

1321
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:35,040
Speaker 7: that she was responsible for getting herself up for high

1322
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 7: school and if she missed the bus, I wasn't gonna driver.

1323
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 5: She never missed the bus.

1324
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, I have like an automatic alarm of seven thirty

1325
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 7: now because of my parents, because oh really yeah, because

1326
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 7: my parents always woke up at like six thirty when

1327
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 7: I was going to school.

1328
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, I know. My mom would always get

1329
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 5: up at like four or five to get everything ready

1330
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 5: before like we had to go to school. And now

1331
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 5: she's retired and doesn't have a job, but like still

1332
01:01:58,840 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 5: doesn't reply.

1333
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 7: My mom did that to me, and one time my

1334
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 7: alarm didn't go off right, I ended up bumming a

1335
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 7: ride to a school with the strange man because I

1336
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 7: was terrified at being late reply. There in lies the

1337
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 7: problem with threats of punitive measures. My dad once told

1338
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 7: me i was thirteen, that if I became a pregnant

1339
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 7: teen like the neighbor's daughter, I'd be punted out.

1340
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 5: My mom went nuts at him.

1341
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 7: Do you want your daughter passing away on a backstreet table?

1342
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:24,560
Speaker 5: WHOA? I could still remember the deer in headlights look

1343
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:25,080
Speaker 5: on his face?

1344
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 1: WHOA? A?

1345
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 7: Reply, Well, if dad's threat didn't scare you straight, I

1346
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:29,640
Speaker 7: bet mom's message did.

1347
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:30,480
Speaker 1: Reply.

1348
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,560
Speaker 7: Yep, it's one thing to say that if you f

1349
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:36,080
Speaker 7: around with daily responsibilities, you face the consequences and your

1350
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 7: parents won't be getting won't be your get out of

1351
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 7: jail free card. It's quite another to say that if

1352
01:02:40,520 --> 01:02:43,800
Speaker 7: you massively f up and are facing a crisis, mom

1353
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 7: and dad will punish you instead of helping you. Yeah,

1354
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:50,360
Speaker 7: there are different ways to parent effectively, and it's making

1355
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 7: sure that you know that your child has consequences, but.

1356
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 5: Also knowing that you are a safe place for them.

1357
01:02:57,400 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 5: It's also interesting and worth pointing out that all of

1358
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 5: these comments are talking about how their parents reacted to

1359
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:09,280
Speaker 5: them and how their parents parented them when they were children,

1360
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:14,680
Speaker 5: relating to how this wife is treating her husband. I mean,

1361
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 5: I was about to say, yeah, they're all talking about

1362
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 5: the parenting. Yeah.

1363
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:19,880
Speaker 7: Yeah, So it's like, oh, even it's not actually that

1364
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 7: relevant to the story.

1365
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 5: Well but it is, though. That's just how ridiculous it is.

1366
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 5: It's like we're talking about about, you know, the husband

1367
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 5: wanting a mother, but at the same time, this is

1368
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:33,120
Speaker 5: what a mother does, yea. So if you want a mother,

1369
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:34,640
Speaker 5: I'll show you up about that.

1370
01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 7: But there is an update. After posting this, I received

1371
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 7: messages expressing concern and advice, though, so I thought i'd

1372
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 7: update about how things turned out. The morning after this incident,

1373
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:46,439
Speaker 7: my partner got out of bed when the kids did

1374
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 7: and took the older girls out for breakfast. Later, I

1375
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 7: asked him if he'd be willing to read.

1376
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 5: The thread, and he agreed.

1377
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:56,520
Speaker 7: He was very subdued after and didn't say it, and

1378
01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 7: didn't say much except for agreeing that he was an ale.

1379
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:01,840
Speaker 7: The next day, he took off work and saw his

1380
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:05,560
Speaker 7: GP started on antidepressants and we had a long talk.

1381
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 7: He was ashamed by how he was acting and to

1382
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 7: see strangers comparing him to children. He cried when realizing

1383
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:14,600
Speaker 7: how much he was letting everyone down, especially his daughters,

1384
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 7: who will grow up thinking this is normal behavior. He

1385
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 7: confirmed that this all started when we lived with his

1386
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 7: parents a few years back. He left home at seventeen

1387
01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 7: to get away from his mother, and she told them

1388
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 7: he'd fail as men need a woman to look after them.

1389
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 7: He felt like a failure, so it was easy for

1390
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 7: his mother to feed him other ideas, and she would

1391
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 7: also manipulate things I did to look like he was incompetent.

1392
01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 7: Incompetent as a person. Example, I'd tell him to relax

1393
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 7: and I'd handle the dishes, and his mother twisted it

1394
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:45,160
Speaker 7: into me, thinking he was incompetent, so he should just

1395
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 7: stop helping it all, he'd wake up feeling useless, and

1396
01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:50,760
Speaker 7: she managed to convince him that he was unhappy because

1397
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 7: I wasn't taking care of him the way a wife should.

1398
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 7: He decided to go no contact with her, which didn't

1399
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 7: go well. She cried and told them he was a

1400
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:00,920
Speaker 7: horrible son for abandoning his mother and that I was

1401
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:03,320
Speaker 7: trying to control them by forcing him to do it.

1402
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:06,400
Speaker 7: He blocked her, but she just used different numbers to

1403
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 7: continue calling him. After a week or so, he ended

1404
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 7: up changing his number and we haven't heard from his

1405
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 7: family since. He brought up that he was unhappy at

1406
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,720
Speaker 7: work as it wasn't stimulating enough, but he felt like

1407
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 7: he couldn't leave. I offered to pick up some part

1408
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:22,720
Speaker 7: time work, but he said no. He talked to his

1409
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 7: boss and took some time off and eventually quit. He

1410
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:28,440
Speaker 7: spoke to my dad. He used some connections and got

1411
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,959
Speaker 7: him a good job at his company. The new job

1412
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 7: is primarily work from home position, so he is able

1413
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:35,919
Speaker 7: to help with the girls more and has more free time.

1414
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,480
Speaker 7: He is able to take the girls to school and

1415
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:39,960
Speaker 7: watch them play while he works.

1416
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,200
Speaker 5: Which they all enjoy. This is great.

1417
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:45,360
Speaker 7: But you know what, you'll enjoy full episodes of stories

1418
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 7: just like this.

1419
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:49,320
Speaker 5: Just go to Spotify, Apple podcast or iHeartRadio and search

1420
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:51,960
Speaker 5: a pokest free time. Just do it. But there's a

1421
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:53,520
Speaker 5: little bit left of the story. Do you have any

1422
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 5: final thoughts. I'm glad that that seemed to work.

1423
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:59,000
Speaker 7: I know they had a conversation. She showed him the

1424
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:01,120
Speaker 7: Reddit comments.

1425
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:01,160
Speaker 1: And he was like, whoa.

1426
01:06:01,440 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 5: He's like, dang man, you might be onto something. You're

1427
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:06,600
Speaker 5: onto something, and then communication and then it's and you know,

1428
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:09,959
Speaker 5: they worked with you know, his own mental struggles. Yeah,

1429
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,800
Speaker 5: which is great. Realized you know he had some depression

1430
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 5: issues with depression. Yeah, and we're working towards solutions. Good

1431
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 5: on you, guys, Good on you. Yes, but there's a

1432
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:20,919
Speaker 5: little bit left.

1433
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:23,479
Speaker 7: Before he started the new job, he booked a trip

1434
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,000
Speaker 7: for us to go to the snow for a week.

1435
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,120
Speaker 7: We had a blast and it was lovely to see

1436
01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:31,320
Speaker 7: him relaxed and happy and enjoying our girls in life.

1437
01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:33,960
Speaker 7: He promised to be more honest about how he's feeling

1438
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 7: and a relationship has improved immensely. Thank you for everyone

1439
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:40,000
Speaker 7: who gave judgment and advice. As he says, it really

1440
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 7: helped him see things more clearly, especially the toxic relationship.

1441
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 1: With his mother.

1442
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:49,480
Speaker 5: And that is the end of that story. Well, you know,

1443
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 5: sometimes you just gotta fall on your face a little

1444
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:54,120
Speaker 5: bit and then you pick yourself up and then you

1445
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 5: learn from it, and that's fine, so true, that's so fine.

1446
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 7: Well that was the end of that story and the

1447
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:02,400
Speaker 7: end of this a eppisod what so, if you love us,

1448
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:05,760
Speaker 7: make sure to subscribe. We love you and see you tomorrow.