WEBVTT - EP 428: Aphrodisiacs, Bone Structure, & Beautiful Baby Daddies 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.760 Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:06.080 decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to cursing. 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:10.280 You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast. 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:13.560 Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions. 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:20.480 Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions. 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:25.000 I'm your girl, Mandy. Oh they don't get French. No, 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:28.360 that was given value of some It was an accent 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:29.120 for something else. 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:32.000 So goo fry, I am so easy and we're going 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:34.960 to turn out to curse for the first seven minutes. 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:40.120 If you want us to say, go on over to 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:43.559 our Patreon because it's ad free and sleep free. 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:45.040 That's right, that's right. 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:48.239 And before we get started with this week's episode, make 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:52.760 sure if you haven't yet purchased our book, No Holds Barred, 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:57.920 a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. All right, 0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:04.000 let's start with catch up. Mine is gonna be real, grown, real, mature, 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:09.280 but happy news. If you guys were listening to the 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:13.000 podcast right around the time of the rebrand, right before 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.800 I moved to Atlanta, I was dealing with a lot 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:19.520 of fucking shit, the depression of moving, and then I 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:22.800 had two people close to me diagnosed with breast cancer, 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:27.800 and a friend of mine was dealing with fertility issues, 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:35.080 and so it's so amazing to say, but one of 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:40.520 those women recently beat breast cancer. I'm literally really really excited, 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:44.880 really and I'm grateful for I know them. No, I'm 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:49.280 grateful for my best friend Crystal, because she's been able 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:53.160 to be somebody that as other people connected to me 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:56.160 are going through their journey, that they have a resource 0:01:56.240 --> 0:02:00.600 of someone who got it, beat it, came out of it, 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:04.880 and is willing to like share what she went through. 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:09.800 So got the double missectomy and now is dealing with 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:13.000 you know, in remission, being cancer free. 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:14.840 So really excited about that. 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:19.519 And then my other friend who although is still having difficulty, 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.920 I think is going right now. She's on a break 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:25.280 because it's so much to her body. But she's currently 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.760 gone through two rounds of IVF, looking to do another one, 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:32.600 but she has gotten eggs and we are now. 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:34.919 Semi family planning. 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:40.720 I have a friend who is looking to literally be 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:43.440 pregnant by the end of the year. It's interesting because 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.560 this was something that in her mind, she's like about 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:48.639 thirty five, bitch, I want to have a baby and 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:52.720 so she's really moving forward with that, although she just 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.560 broke up with her nigga of a lot of years, 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:58.560 so I'm confused. So it's interesting now to see like 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:03.840 he does want to have it naturally if possible, or 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.440 with somebody that she at least knows and doesn't really 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:10.080 want to go the sperm bank route. So it's just 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:13.360 been a journey having those conversations. 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:15.840 I can imagine, because it's like in one world, of course, 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:19.320 sperm bank sounds crazy, you would think, But then I 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:21.680 heard something recently that I wonder what your friend would 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:25.240 think about it the sperm It's not like you can't 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:30.720 get someone. The sperm bank kind of alleviates the detachment, 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:35.040 the attachment. Excuse me, because if you, let's just say, 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:37.840 have a friend who's great, it's willing to do this 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.840 for you, do you then feel semi connected? 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:42.080 Will it feel a little bit? 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:45.000 No, she's gonna have it. She's gonna have it. It's 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.880 just have what she's gonna have the baby. 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:50.480 No, no, no, I'm saying as far as like choosing, do 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:52.160 you feel let's say you find a friend who will 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.480 do this with you sperm donor do you then feel 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:57.080 semi attached because you're like, damn, I did this thing 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:57.720 with this person. 0:03:58.080 --> 0:03:58.920 Also, if you know. 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:01.400 A nigga, I gold you I'm gonna spend those twenty 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.560 five grand when I could just put my homeworn because 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:06.600 that's naturally quote unquote. 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:08.200 Yeah, no, I mean once we do that, are we 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:08.960 then connected? 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:10.760 But then also, why would I want to go to 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:13.160 this firm bank because someone could be well. 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:16.359 Well, even with it doesn't always like she feels like 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:19.960 there's still like she's not infertile, so she could have 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:24.200 sex naturally and potentially get pregnant, but there's not a 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:28.320 lot of eggs there, so saving of the eggs is 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:31.360 I guess she feels more confident in being able to 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:35.840 go through IVF and actually getting it inseminated and with. 0:04:35.839 --> 0:04:37.520 A baby grown in it. Y'all know, I don't really 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:43.159 know all the science, but it's been interested to talk to. 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:48.159 I don't want to call it the shallowness, but it 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:51.600 is a little bit of the shallowness of when you 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:56.719 know you're ready to be a mom outside of wanting 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:58.080 it to be healthy. 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:01.799 One to have certain features. 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:04.920 And that's been a conversation that's really weird because I'm 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.400 just like she likes these real pretty ess niggas, and 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:10.080 I'm like, just because you find them to be attractive 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.880 and real pretty don't mean they make pretty babies. And 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:15.840 it's been really interesting to kind of talk to her 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:21.599 about realizing her own insecurities with her own features and 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:25.920 things that she's changed through plastic surgery or other ways, 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:30.080 and like now looking at the nose, the eyes, the hair, 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:36.760 the weight of her partners and hoping that those genetics. 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:40.120 Attached to I've ever heard someone say it when they're 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:43.000 pregnant by a partner, because you're just like, oh, I'm 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:43.880 taking what I'm getting. 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:46.440 But if you could start from the beginning. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.159 If you could choose your partner essentially either and sperm 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.159 banks normally do, but we know when we've had the 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:53.680 conversation at least I've had it over on periodsis, Like 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:56.960 sperm banks don't have a lot of options for black 0:05:57.160 --> 0:05:59.960 sperm donors, Like it's very minimal. A lot of time 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:04.000 people have to get sperm sperm donations from the Caribbean 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:08.240 or other countries to get black black sperm donors and 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:10.679 so and then also genetic tests. 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:15.840 Laughing because I'm just like, if you had what's you 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.719 going with because I want, I wanna. 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.680 I mean, I'm I'm and And here's why I say, 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:28.040 I've been having to uh feed affirmations to her. I 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:31.599 think it's a lot of how she felt growing up 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:36.240 or like what her characteristics were about herself that she's 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:41.039 since changed genetically that I'm like, but girl, they could 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:43.479 still get your genetics, like it ain't just gonna be 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:47.880 all demand genetics. So it's been interesting just being like, girl. 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:49.760 You're beautiful. If you have a healthy baby, that's all 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:50.360 that should matter. 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:55.720 And you trying to get these good looking against subjective 0:06:56.080 --> 0:07:00.560 good looking men doesn't mean that that is it's not 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:01.160 skin tone. 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:03.600 No, they're black men. They're all black men. 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.799 Oh, she's definitely with height and her ex she didn't 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:11.280 like weight. She's also dealt with weight, so I know 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.520 weight is a big thing. And to be honest, back 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.880 when a bit was broke and I was like, how. 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:16.600 Can I make some money? 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:19.440 Y'all want these eggs, you have to be within a 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:22.600 certain b of mine to even donate your eggs. So 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:26.240 to me, for her, it's definitely because we both battled weight. 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:31.640 She wants a slim, athletic build man, so that potentially 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.080 she has the baby has hoped to not deal with 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:37.760 like fat shaming and weight problems and weight issues, which 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:41.600 is something that definitely brought about a lot of insecurities 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:44.240 and depression throughout our life and mine. So I mean, 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:46.640 I get it. I think I would want a slim 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:50.600 baby daddy. Like if I have a baby ever with 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:53.360 a big nigga, that baby ain't got no hope. 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.200 The baby probably gonna be big. We big boned it together, 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:57.200 all three of us. 0:07:57.680 --> 0:08:00.480 So it's so crazy when they say that, Like, I 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:02.720 don't know. I recently found out that this is bullshit. 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:06.120 The big bon No no, no, no, no bullshit it is, but 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:09.960 it isn't our whole life. We told Big Bone ain't real. 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:13.120 Right after we found out No, no, no, most recently Big Bones, 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:16.480 I'm at thought, Yeah, big Bone, we hear our whole life. 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:17.840 We just found out as bullshit. I used to say, 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:20.720 my bones just be But I just did this laser 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:23.840 LiPo shit where basically it's not cool sculpting. 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.080 It's not the one where they suck it out. 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:28.960 It's literally like heating things on your stomach to try 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:34.880 to kill fat cells. So I'm doing it before workouts 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:38.200 three times a week. To hope to burn more, and 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:39.880 the woman's like, just get cool sculpting. I don't want 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:41.440 to do that because my fibrod. Just get smart, lip bo. 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:43.040 I don't want to fucking do the surgery. I'm like, 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:45.240 fuck it, I can lose this weight. So while I'm 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.360 in there, this Russian lady said something so interesting to me. 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:50.480 She goes, I see why you want to get rid 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:52.880 of this because your bones are small. I was like, 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:56.680 everybody's like, this is bullshit. She's like, no, no, no, 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:00.440 I'm feeling your stomach and it's it's not like it 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:01.120 fits you right. 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:03.920 Your stomach on a thicker girl is no stomach. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:07.600 She's like, but because you're smaller, it makes you look pregnant, 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.600 like you're basically the birth controls making me very soft 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:12.640 and doey. It's harder to retain the muscle. She's like, 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:15.720 it's your bones. It's your bone structure. 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:18.480 So because you. 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:21.680 Got a wider hips, your bone structure can be quote 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:24.520 unquote big bone. That's where it comes from. It's how 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:27.680 your body is sitting naturally. It's not the real bones, 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.400 it's how your body sits all right. 0:09:29.400 --> 0:09:29.679 Bone. 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:32.600 For example, when you lost your most weight, you still 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:34.520 had so many curves because you just have it, you. 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:35.040 Know what I'm saying. 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:37.480 Yeah, me gaining this weight, some of it's going to 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:39.559 my button, my thighs, but it does kind of look 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:42.640 weird because my body just doesn't have that shape. I 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.840 can get some cheek, but it doesn't have that shape already. 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:49.760 Say this to say a friend of mine who's also bigger, 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.520 she's been in the two or three hundred range, lost 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.320 some weight up and down when she had her daughter. 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:59.360 She's like, bro, I just knew because of me and 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.680 my husband going through these things, they're just predisposition for it. 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:09.040 What's crazy about it is that apparently this is all 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:14.600 from breastfeeding all the way down whatever habits. Mothers have 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:18.720 food and tat this certain strait and the father it's 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:20.760 not even like the meals you're cooking at home. It 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:24.240 all starts when they're like in the womb, whatever's going 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:24.560 in there. 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:25.840 So it's like you really can't help it. 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:28.720 So yeah, to your point, you get a super slim nigga, 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:31.920 what if you're still that person. It's only so much 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:35.080 we can alter before, like those habits. Actually I really 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:35.600 didn't know that. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:41.440 Yeah, So that's it's been interesting to know that, you know, 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:45.400 she's now looking at all these features for what a 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.920 potential baby daddy could look like. 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:49.320 And it's not even that she wants to be with 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:50.480 the man. She's willing to go. 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:54.240 She makes good enough money to be a single mom, 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:58.000 and she's looking forward to being a single mom. Really, 0:10:58.120 --> 0:10:59.880 she wants to be a mother. She said, I just 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:03.440 I just need a baby daddy. But like she's looking 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.320 forward kind of much like Ebanye K. Williams, who went 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:10.200 through a similar process at forty. She literally just wants 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.920 to be a mother. So she is going through the IVF, 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.800 possibly going through a third IVF, and it's really just 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:19.560 inspiring because she's like, I want to be a mom, y'all. 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:21.400 Y'all gonna lap shout out to science. 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:24.640 But it's been really like dope to have these conversations 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:27.200 and see that she can do kind of whatever she 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:30.120 wants to do with her body, with the role that 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:33.280 she wants to play in society in terms of being 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:36.720 a boss ass bitch and being a mom and not 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.440 allowing the patriarchy to dictate what she do with it. 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.679 I have a friend right now. She's actually been on 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:45.640 our show. She's a dope podcaster and influencer. But she's 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:49.880 freezing her eggs right now in a relationship. And I 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:51.800 sat down with her, we were just having coffee at 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:53.880 SOHO whatever, and I was like, damn, girl, this is like, 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:57.520 it's just so powerful to me that you and your 0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:59.760 partner are like, hey, we're gonnabut. 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:00.560 House, We're gonna be gonna do that. 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:04.400 But still you aren't rushing yourself. You're freezing these eggs 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:07.240 and you got the man. And there's just so much 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.760 power in like women's choices because it's. 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:11.959 Does he feel a way about that? 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:12.640 No? 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:16.679 Okay, I actually think she may be talking about it 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:18.280 on her own pot. She's one of those type of people. 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.199 I'll tell you what a letter. But she's just like, girl, 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.880 like this is my life. You know, just because he's 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:27.080 there doesn't mean we had to start the clock. Ticket 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:29.840 let me take a second. I'm doing me too. And 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.680 I find that really beautiful because we hear about freezing 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:35.520 eggs so much in this scenario and it's always so 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:37.600 woe is me, Oh, so bad, sorry for your friends. 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.480 She can't get any this is anybody. 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.240 You know? Like, it's just there's so much I saw 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.719 it with Ebanie k Williams with people just trying to 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.520 pity her a lot, and it made me feel really 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.720 bad because it's just like there's a lot of power 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:54.560 with figuring out how to have children solo, Like there 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:56.720 really is for me personally. 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:57.480 I think the thing that. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:02.040 Would scare me over thirty five versus forty. I think 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:03.839 I thought thirty five was older. 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:04.080 Than it was. 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:08.360 But being this right there, I'm like, Oh, I'm still 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.679 young and hot. I still am like going out often, 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:13.520 Like I'm still doing my thing. 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:16.480 Is it going to be. 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:22.479 Something where I'm dating and looking for love while pregnant? Also, alternatively, 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:27.200 hypothetically speaking, I know a lot of men don't want 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:28.200 to date women with children. 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.400 However, maybe that's because baby daddy. Shit. 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.640 If I know a woman had a baby on her own, 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.320 I feel like that'd be more of like a damn. 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:39.679 Like it's almost like this turn on thing like go 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:43.000 good for you? Like, think about how many men are 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:46.760 really single moms having like dating. They normally date single dads. 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:48.439 It's just easier all around. 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:50.760 Dude, I got a whole lot of friends single mom 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:52.360 and to daddy and nowhere to be seen, and they're 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.400 still difficult with dating and they've been handling that shit 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.720 on their own. And y'all already know that's my biggest 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:01.080 friend life is to be a single mom. But whether 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:03.640 a baby daddy's around or not, I've seen my friends 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.079 still have difficulty with dating. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:07.320 Yeah, I'm just saying, like, I wonder if it would 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.720 be different for the man dating, Like, for example, meeting 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:14.480 a woman with a kid, some men already have a 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:15.800 notion in their head like. 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:17.360 Oh, this isn't for me, I don't want to fucking 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:17.960 do whatever. 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.960 Just immediately, and even if the dad isn't around, just 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:24.080 immediately knowing that woman is like, this is just my kid. 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:26.120 Would it make a man feel different? 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:28.320 Cause sometimes it has to do with the fact that 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:31.920 it's not yours or some other man's. Like, there's so 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.680 many little insecurities that people feel when dating people with 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:38.080 children that I wonder if there would be more success 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.040 for women that did this choice. 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:42.000 I'm just curious. There's no real thing. 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.160 I'm just and if there's any men listening that have 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:45.720 dated a woman who had a kid on her own, I. 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.120 Would love to talk about that. 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:49.280 What is it like, what does it feel like with 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:51.520 are the conversations like do you then feel like she's 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.200 won and done. Does she want more? What about women 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:56.760 that do this and then they get into relationships? Are 0:14:56.760 --> 0:14:58.000 they slightly regretful they didn't? 0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:58.200 Wait? 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:00.840 M There's got to be so many questions. 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:05.720 I love that women are now choosing and getting into 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:10.640 motherhood thirty five plus. I ran into I ran into 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:14.120 this goddamn tweet that had me dying laughing, especially since 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:18.040 we've been talking about age difference and niggas being nasty 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:23.560 talking to younger girls. So someone said, the actual reason 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.560 for the birth rate decline is women entering the. 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.960 Workforce, but no one is ready for that discussion. Bitch. 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:34.200 Shout out to doctor Laura Robinson read fulfilth. She said, actually, 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:38.600 about half the declining pregnancy rate is the steep decline 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.040 of teen births. Seventy percent of fathers of babies born 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.920 to teen mothers are over twenty one. We literally slashed 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:48.320 and burned pedophilia, and men are so mad. I was like, 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:51.680 got them, get you know what I really we did 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:52.840 talk about right now? 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:54.240 What this to me? 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:57.160 I don't know if anyone saw the flavoring clip of 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:58.960 Pete boudiceg. 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:01.560 Adopted a kid? Have you seen this? 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.480 I'm going to just fast forward to this really quick. 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:06.960 I sent it to Alex today because doctor Rymore posted it. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.480 But Pete adopted a kid and the kid is black. 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.160 He didn't know the kid was gonna be blent. 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:13.920 We were just on a list. But you know, we 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:17.880 said that we were willing to adopt, We wanted to adopt. 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:20.440 We said that we wanted to adopt without regard for race. 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.320 By the way, anybody who says race is not a 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:25.320 thing in this country should experience an adoption process where 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:29.480 there are literally different lists. If you say that you 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:32.760 want a white kid only versus if you say that 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:34.880 doesn't matter, literally a different list. 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:35.400 What is that? 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:38.000 What do you mean by the list for white it 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:38.680 only is longer. 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:40.720 M of course it is. 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:45.520 And not only that there was actually discount or you 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:49.000 didn't have to pay a deposit on the feet. 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:51.760 This is like how it works. I couldn't believe it. 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.360 So we didn't know anything about the racial identity of 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:57.920 the kids until they started to look mixed race, which 0:16:58.040 --> 0:16:58.360 they are. 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:01.000 Let me tell you, first of doctor Gumar posed this 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:03.560 about why are white people adopting our children? Number one, 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.480 and I'm ready to get angry too. I wouldn't be 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.560 upset about that. But then I watched it and I. 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:11.240 Was like, WHOA. 0:17:11.400 --> 0:17:14.639 First of all, started looking into my own statistics. Twenty 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.280 three percent of children in foster care a black. Eight 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:21.840 percent of black families are adopting children. Yes, some reason, 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:23.760 white people are adopting them at higher risk. Its not 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:27.239 for some reason, I mean just even money. Well, however, no, 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:32.240 all of those things black families. The real reason is 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:35.520 when they are adopting, they're adopting through kinship, which means 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:38.520 it's someone in their family. Someone died, anti gone crazy, 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.359 someone went to jail. This is all socioeconomic. But most 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:45.480 people that are affluent nowadays are doing what your friend did. 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:47.760 I'm gonna have my own kid. I'm not gonna die right. 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:51.159 Like, it's not a bad choice, to be honest, I 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:52.480 don't think I would be able to adopt either. I 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:56.520 don't know if I'm that selfless. But it's crazy because 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:59.560 I really have for a long time been one of 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.239 those people that are like, how many white celebrities are 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:04.359 we gonna see with black babies? 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:07.639 En f is ass But then when you see. 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:10.560 That they're a quarter of the foster care system, it's 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:14.679 like it's just so fucked up, because there really is 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:17.240 a big effect when white families adopt black children on 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.520 these black kids. Not only do they have to assimilate 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.160 to a new family, you feel weird, shit looks weird, 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:25.160 like you don't know your identity. God forbid, they ain't 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:26.679 got no black friends to help you with show them. 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:30.560 I'm not against I'm not against uh white people are 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:36.520 any race adopting black like at all? I think that 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:41.840 because of again socio economic reasons and whatnot. 0:18:43.520 --> 0:18:45.440 In knowing that it's. 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:49.320 Difficult for again, I guess they'll steal economic reasons. Like, 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:53.680 I'm not against any other race adopting black children, because 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:55.920 I think they all deserve a home, a loving carrying home, 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:59.480 and someone to raise them. I think that them growing 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:03.720 up in the foster system would be hell in comparison 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:06.480 to growing up with of course, of course, if you 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:09.720 haven't seen it yet, white people that love them, not 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:12.160 that lesbian couple in Georgia that drove them kids off 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:15.320 the cliff, but ones that will give them a loving 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:18.200 carrying home, like the family from Blindside. 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:27.240 I was just what. 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:31.280 Even even seeing what Angelina Joe Lee, who's the other one, 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:31.680 who's the. 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:35.639 Other Angelina only getting black. She must have went on 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:38.560 the list and said, no, who's that real? 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:39.160 Seton track? 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:43.000 How you out all love the new No, No, it's 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:45.360 a little black baby farm she got over there. It's 0:19:45.359 --> 0:19:48.000 a little too much. I feel like it's too much. 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:50.199 I don't get a little too touched when they go 0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:53.120 to motherfucking Ghana and Kenya and they be like, oh, 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:54.639 you know what, I think. 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:57.400 I think we're gonna take one home. That's what it gives. 0:19:57.520 --> 0:20:01.280 It very much gives Instagram hold the baby up with 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:04.800 dust all over them. You're clean, and you'r Chanelle Scarf 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:08.960 saving the world because you donated books. Sometimes there is 0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:12.520 a bit of a weird I'm doing more because I 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:16.280