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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikky. Hello here, I am

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Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast. Is Nicki Glizer podcast coming at

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Speaker 1: you two times a week. It's the best we can do. Um,

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Speaker 1: this I have a feeling might be one of the

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Speaker 1: best podcasts we've ever done. I'm just gonna call it early.

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Speaker 1: I'm good feeling about it. I'm I'm astral projecting that

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Speaker 1: this will be one of the best ones. Um. I'm

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Speaker 1: in a good mood. I'm alone in my hotel room

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Speaker 1: right now in Hollywood. Still out here in Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing the Kelly Clarkson Show tomorrow. Check that out

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Speaker 1: on Wednesday. I believe it will air on Wednesday as well. Um.

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Speaker 1: And I'm joined by, of course, on your Marina who

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Speaker 1: you just heard her song. She will be on the

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Speaker 1: road with me this weekend in Kalamazoo and Juliet, Illinois.

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Speaker 1: Hey Anya ba bat Noah is also here. Hey no

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Speaker 1: uh hi beb happy be and then joining us. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to get this intro right. He is a stand

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Speaker 1: up comedian called by TBS one of the funniest comedians

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Speaker 1: working today. He's the host of the game show Idiot

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Speaker 1: Test on Game Show Network and streaming on Game Show Central.

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Speaker 1: He was one of the stars of Chelsea Lately, and

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Speaker 1: he's currently a lead anchor and contributor for The Young Turks.

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Speaker 1: His critically acclaimed second hour special titled Ben Glebe The

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Speaker 1: Mad King just dropped on YouTube. Kelly Carlin, daughter of

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Speaker 1: George Carlin, tweeted from the official George Carlin Twitter account,

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Speaker 1: I think you'll like this special by Ben Glebe. It

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Speaker 1: reminds me of elements of my dad's approach. Please welcome

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Speaker 1: Ben Glebe. I love that intro bat Well, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much. You made it up off top of your head,

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Speaker 1: so you gotta think it's from my heart. Really um

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Speaker 1: and uh no, I was so impressed that you sent

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Speaker 1: a whole like email of you're just so organized, and

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Speaker 1: it like intimidates. It doesn't intimidate me, I'm meant to say,

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Speaker 1: infuriates me minutes ago. So it's not like I'm super organized.

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Speaker 1: That's a good point. Okay, that really does you know?

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Speaker 1: It loses some of its luster with the fact that

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Speaker 1: you did send it, um almost late, But it's the

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Speaker 1: fact that you're so organized that you're so um. Like, yesterday,

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Speaker 1: I did a podcast Chelsea Alvarez's podcast, UM Celebrity Memoir

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Speaker 1: Book Club. I forget that's the name of it. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: it's on my story if you want to check it out,

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Speaker 1: but it's we cover the Harry Um Prince Harry book.

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Speaker 1: And because I don't I was about to say his

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Speaker 1: last name, and I realized I don't know what Harry

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Speaker 1: windsor is that it don't what is his last name,

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Speaker 1: Harry Sussex. I don't know Harry and um, well anyway,

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Speaker 1: they were like, UM, can you send us a picture

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Speaker 1: that we can use for the promo? And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't have one. I don't have I don't know

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Speaker 1: what picture I would I don't have press pictures. I

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Speaker 1: was going through my phone for like twenty minutes trying

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Speaker 1: to find it. I was like, do I use a

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Speaker 1: stand up picture? No, this doesn't fit it. What's a

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Speaker 1: picture that says I've read a look once? Like I

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Speaker 1: needed like a not like a set. There were like

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Speaker 1: sexy photos and like that's not book photo. Like I

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Speaker 1: just don't have like a press kit. I think a

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Speaker 1: k press kit a photo of you reading a book

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Speaker 1: would be very perfect. Yeah, that's good. It's like a

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Speaker 1: big foot photo because it's not gonna so I read

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Speaker 1: on my phone, So a picture of me looking at

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Speaker 1: my phone might suffice. I know, I've seen Nikki Glazer

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Speaker 1: photo behind some Morby Parkers, just like peering out sexily

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Speaker 1: with your bob. Maybe it was during Nicky answer Alive

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Speaker 1: days We're wear haircut, fixed my relationship or whatever was

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Speaker 1: happening at the time. God, I don't know why I

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Speaker 1: did that. Bleached my hair cut it real short. It

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Speaker 1: was definitely like inner struggle. Well, of course you've got

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Speaker 1: it going on, Girly. The other day you were like,

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Speaker 1: I want to chop my hair off, Yeah, because I'm

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Speaker 1: unwell inside. The other day I was feeling good, you

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Speaker 1: were relationship and you and your partner was like, look,

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Speaker 1: things are great if just only your hair was shorter

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Speaker 1: and Bobby, no guy has ever wanted their girlfriend to

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Speaker 1: get shorter hair in the history of heterosexual ben ever. Ever,

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Speaker 1: we trick ourselves into thinking bangs or a shaved dad

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Speaker 1: will help, or like a pixie cut will be good.

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Speaker 1: It's just what is that desire to just change things up? Ben,

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Speaker 1: You look like you have a different look going right now.

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Speaker 1: It's a cleaner cut. That did you just get a haircut.

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Speaker 1: I got a haircut very recently, and I got rid

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Speaker 1: of my beard that I usually grow. It's now just

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Speaker 1: getting back. Is it true that beards are a sign

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Speaker 1: of depression and or big transition in men's lives? Like

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Speaker 1: either what happened? We have evidence to support that. Right now, Ben,

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Speaker 1: how are you feeling today? Um? Given your recent life change,

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Speaker 1: you were engaged, now you're not. Can we say that

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Speaker 1: that was part of your total That was the biggest

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Speaker 1: part of my intro known mostly from his random n

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Speaker 1: engagement that happened to announce on Instagram, which is, you

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Speaker 1: know when you announced it on Instagram? I thought, because

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Speaker 1: I already knew about it, and it maybe been a

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Speaker 1: month after it had happened that you announced it, maybe

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Speaker 1: a little bit more. Is that right? Yes, you gotta

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Speaker 1: announced it. I realized. I go, maybe he didn't need

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Speaker 1: to do that, And I go, no, he does, because

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Speaker 1: people who know him know he was with her. If

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Speaker 1: somehow he's behaving in a certain way like a single

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Speaker 1: guy on his stories or in other posts, girls are

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Speaker 1: gonna start people are gonna start going, this fucking asshole,

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Speaker 1: what's he doing? So people roll their eyes when people

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Speaker 1: announced like, we've decided to separate, and but you you

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Speaker 1: shouldn't roll your eyes because I at first was like,

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Speaker 1: no one needs to know, but then I go, yes,

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Speaker 1: they do, because you suddenly are going to not have

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Speaker 1: her in pictures and people are gonna start speculating. So

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Speaker 1: you kind of just gotta get it out of the way.

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Speaker 1: What what was your like this thought process leading up

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Speaker 1: to that announcement. Yeah, I mean it was like, actually

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Speaker 1: that it's that, you know, obviously there's gonna be thousands

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Speaker 1: of videos of women throwing themselves at me now, and

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Speaker 1: I needed cover for that, for people to think I'm realized,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a dirt bag that was letting that happen

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Speaker 1: just because my fiance cut her hair short or something,

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Speaker 1: you know, So I had to announce that. Plus, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just I also don't like to try to be honest.

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Speaker 1: I can about my life and I don't even I

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Speaker 1: didn't really want to like to archive the engagement posts

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Speaker 1: that we had had a few months earlier. It's an

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Speaker 1: important part of my life that, you know, you can't

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Speaker 1: change your past. I didn't want to like hide it. Plus,

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Speaker 1: you know, so I wanted to instead just update people

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Speaker 1: and they can go and see the whole, the whole,

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Speaker 1: the whole messed up story. You know, it's really brave.

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Speaker 1: I asked a question about that because I have a

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Speaker 1: weird um thing that I would love to get rid of.

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Speaker 1: It's a like I'm afraid of, like people pitying me

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Speaker 1: or I hate it. I don't know if I'm afraid

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Speaker 1: of it. I don't like pity, condescension. I don't like

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Speaker 1: comments on Instagram like the chin up Girl or like

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Speaker 1: anything resembling pity. I hate it. So I would be

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Speaker 1: afraid if I was in that position that i'd get

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Speaker 1: comments like pitying or do you do you have that

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Speaker 1: at all? Or what were that some of the most

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable comments or feedback you've gotten, either online or off,

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Speaker 1: or do you not have any? No? I definitely got

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Speaker 1: the full range of comments. I just don't really care.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I get so much hate, you know, typically,

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Speaker 1: and you get so much like disgusting things and videos

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Speaker 1: I do. In the young Turks, I'll get death threats,

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Speaker 1: and I'll get people, you know, saying the worst things

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Speaker 1: in the world to me. So I didn't mind a

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Speaker 1: little bit of pity because it has actually made me

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Speaker 1: feel like there's some good people out there, some people

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Speaker 1: being like stick with it fine, like oh wow, there's

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Speaker 1: someone that doesn't want me to die or think I'm

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Speaker 1: an asshole. So I thought that was fine and not

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Speaker 1: that I was looking for pity, but I didn't mind

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Speaker 1: kind comments coming from people. Maybe it's different from men,

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like men are fine with pity, but

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Speaker 1: if a woman's like ditched or or they assume that

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Speaker 1: she's been rejected, it's like a real I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's definitely have that same thing. I kind of like

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Speaker 1: pity as well. I like when someone feels like sorry

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Speaker 1: for me, because I you know, I think I struggle

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Speaker 1: with feeling sorry for myself and I never like let

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Speaker 1: that in or if I do, I feel too indulgent

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Speaker 1: and go, look at your life. You shouldn't feel so

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Speaker 1: to have someone else kind of go, no, this is

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Speaker 1: this sucks. I would hate to be where where you are.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't bother me that much. I wonder what that

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Speaker 1: is in you that doesn't like peoples like you don't

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Speaker 1: know anything about what's going on with me, Like people

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Speaker 1: project so much onto me, and then I don't like

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Speaker 1: other people reading that. And obviously It's like, who cares

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Speaker 1: what other people think of you or what other people

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Speaker 1: think of what other people think of you, None of

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Speaker 1: it really matters, but it does matter, probably to my

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Speaker 1: ego that you know, Like if somebody were to write, oh,

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Speaker 1: that sucks some loser like you know, cheated on and

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Speaker 1: let's say they don't know the story of why I

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Speaker 1: broke up with someone, I would hate that. I would

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Speaker 1: want to be like, correction, this is actually what happened.

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Speaker 1: Don't project your weird ideas onto me or I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just don't like people knowing too much about my

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Speaker 1: life or project What if they just wrote something I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry that you're going through that, like something more vague,

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Speaker 1: I mean, just getting specific, like that fucking bitch cheated

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Speaker 1: on you. I don't know you, poor thing, No one

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Speaker 1: will ever love you again. People write stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: People write stuff like that. Yeah, I got some on

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Speaker 1: both sides. People said I did, people said she did right.

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Speaker 1: People like to well obviously projection, people wanting um things

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Speaker 1: that have happened in their own relationships to happen in

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Speaker 1: others so they don't feel so alone. But like, was

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Speaker 1: there a part of you that was waiting to post

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Speaker 1: that because you thought maybe it'll turn around. And then

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Speaker 1: was that kind of like the final nail in the

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Speaker 1: coffin for you of like, Okay, I'm really letting this

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Speaker 1: one go, Like I'm burying this by anouncing it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean to speak a thousand percent honestly, That's why

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Speaker 1: I waited a month. You're right. But then also part

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Speaker 1: of me and posting it thought that maybe posting it

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Speaker 1: would make would be like the last chance you would

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Speaker 1: see that and then be like what have I done?

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Speaker 1: And like running in the rain to my door and

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Speaker 1: and say I've made a terrible mistake it God, is there?

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Speaker 1: Is it getting easier, um like emotionally or is it

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Speaker 1: still coming in like waves of just like sat like

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Speaker 1: is it do you feel it letting up a little bit?

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Speaker 1: It is? It is getting easier, um But it still

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Speaker 1: does come in waves that said, you know, like I

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Speaker 1: just messaged you after like a month of silence like

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Speaker 1: a I don't know a week ago and said like

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Speaker 1: I'm still a mess. I don't know what's happening. And

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Speaker 1: every time I put like when I go out, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm trying to date again. And when I go

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Speaker 1: on dates um have a great time, or from focused

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Speaker 1: on work or from specifically watching something on TV or

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Speaker 1: what ever. I'm fine, but still like pretty much most

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Speaker 1: of the time, whenever I have a moment to think,

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Speaker 1: I get a little messed up by it. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's just it's just still so weird. It's still

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Speaker 1: so like shocking and just like stunning that somebody I

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Speaker 1: thought I was going to spend my life with I

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Speaker 1: don't talk to anymore and can't really talk to And

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Speaker 1: that's very weird. Is that everything to nothing and there's

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Speaker 1: between like we'll just hang out and because it doesn't

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Speaker 1: And that's what that's the really risk that you take

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Speaker 1: in starting a relationship with anyone is like there's a

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Speaker 1: really good chance we're gonna hate each other at the

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Speaker 1: end of this. I mean really good chance. I mean,

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Speaker 1: how often no one ever thinks that. You never talk

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Speaker 1: about that up top, You never think that you think

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Speaker 1: for sure you're gonna stay together forever or it'll just

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Speaker 1: be perfect ending and happy, and like, I just don't

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Speaker 1: get that. Like one of the last text I center

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Speaker 1: was like I think Gwyneth Paltrow's conscious uncoupling phrase is

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Speaker 1: pretty lame, but I think the idea is right on.

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Speaker 1: It's like, why do you have to make it hard?

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Speaker 1: We can just make it easy on ourselves. We can

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Speaker 1: be friends. We can And then I got a solid

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Speaker 1: no response to that. So and I'm pretty sure I'm

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Speaker 1: blocked now in tech because it turned green instead of

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Speaker 1: or she got an Android and that she's really changed.

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Speaker 1: She would much rather block me than ever have an Android.

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Speaker 1: So the other day, how android's like you just see

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Speaker 1: green text pop up and you just kind of go,

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Speaker 1: there's a judgment that you can't help and it's based

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Speaker 1: on capitalism and consumerism and just the most shallow thing.

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Speaker 1: But I can't help it. It doesn't matter that I know.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't that I know Matt Anya's fiance has an Android,

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Speaker 1: and I know he's a great guy and he's not

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Speaker 1: a bad person or like less person, but he has

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Speaker 1: bubbles Like it's just any They shouldn't be allowing any

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Speaker 1: group text. They mess up group texts, yeah, they do.

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Speaker 1: It is very kid though, that Apple has made people

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Speaker 1: care because it's so to be like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you don't have an iPhone, you're lame. That is the

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Speaker 1: most care I know. But like we do it for

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Speaker 1: cars and apart like apartments parts of town people live in.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like that absurd that we've you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't think if you had a fiance you would

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Speaker 1: be as that has a green phone, that you would

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Speaker 1: be as great about this. Uh you know has a

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Speaker 1: green phone and that also infuriates green green bubbles. It's

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Speaker 1: a little ridiculous, like like I understand, we don't want

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Speaker 1: to be boogie about it, but at the same time,

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Speaker 1: it's it's like gathering with your close friends about to

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Speaker 1: be on a road trip and your buddy with the

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Speaker 1: roll down manual, roll down windows. It's like I'll drive,

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Speaker 1: No you're not. You're not driving. Appreciate that's how you

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Speaker 1: get around, but don't involve me in this. And it doesn't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that it slows down any communication, but

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Speaker 1: it does kind of because they have to be like

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Speaker 1: in a building that has good white or like WiFi

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Speaker 1: signal to like they have to get I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't rely on bars a lot of times, like

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Speaker 1: for my WiFi signal or like for to text. You

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Speaker 1: have to you can't reply directly to a text from

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Speaker 1: you if you want to laugh at something they said,

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Speaker 1: or like herded it's like Nikki hearted and then it

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Speaker 1: like quotes it it's awful. It's Nikki finds that to

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Speaker 1: be very amusing. That's not the same as it's not

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Speaker 1: the same as an exclamation mark, like Nikki responded shocked

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Speaker 1: at like it's like, no, that's too much. The reason

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Speaker 1: we have those little dots is so that there's not

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Speaker 1: an extra text that comes down that it is inherently

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Speaker 1: the problem with the green texts that you can't do

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Speaker 1: those easy little replies. Um, I also feel like, um,

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Speaker 1: have you ever had like Sirie tell you what someone's

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Speaker 1: a mode gis? Like responded with heart uh, like with

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Speaker 1: red cheeks and hearts coming over like a smiley face

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Speaker 1: with hearts coming out of its eyes. So you're like

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Speaker 1: it describes it. You're just like God, are used to

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Speaker 1: do this thing with my friend where we figured out

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Speaker 1: a way that Syria would read like you would say

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Speaker 1: like call Dina, like I have a friend Dina, and

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Speaker 1: then we have put all these emojis after and Syria

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Speaker 1: would read them out, but it would be like called

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Speaker 1: Dina angel baby face, medium skin tone. I would say

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Speaker 1: the whole thing like little angel baby medium skin tone

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Speaker 1: egg bland, star water, squart, and your friends happened to

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Speaker 1: be yellow? Why are you discriminatory? Oh my god. Have

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Speaker 1: you ever dealt with someone who is a white person

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Speaker 1: that sends darker color like skin color emo, like with

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Speaker 1: more melanin. That is so weird to me. And it's

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Speaker 1: usually a friend that's not being ironic like I'm sending

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Speaker 1: a black person. I'm clearly they like think or they're

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Speaker 1: or no, they're usually not woke. They're being like they're

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Speaker 1: they're almost like anti woke, and so they're making fun

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Speaker 1: of it. That's what I meant to say. It's so

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Speaker 1: I kind of go, this is worse than if you

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Speaker 1: had an Android phone, Like get out of here with that.

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Speaker 1: I'll sometimes get a black fist from a white Yeah

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Speaker 1: it's a black fist EMOJIU like this, Yeah he thinks

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Speaker 1: he's black. He thinks he's black and woke. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: what so, Ben? What are some changes that you've done?

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Speaker 1: Like what what? What are some the coping mechanisms you've

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Speaker 1: gone through the breakup with, Like if you change your hair?

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Speaker 1: Have you what if you started going out like throwing

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Speaker 1: yourself into things late nights, like partying a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: I've noticed, I mean, like all of these things, uh

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Speaker 1: as your drug use increasing, Like what people always write

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Speaker 1: to me and they go, do you have anything about breakups?

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Speaker 1: Like I always send them like you know podcast I've

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Speaker 1: listened to when I go through breakups. I kind of

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Speaker 1: want to talk about breakups in this if you don't

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Speaker 1: mind to, like so people can commenceerate because literally everyone,

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Speaker 1: it's the most you know, relatable thing we've all been

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Speaker 1: through and you're in it. I am so. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've done a lot. I'm definitely drinking more. That's been

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Speaker 1: challenging on my training to lose weight. But I've started

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Speaker 1: with a personal trainer, so I'm working out three times

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Speaker 1: a week. That's kind of good trying to drinking with

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Speaker 1: your personal I started getting drunk with a personal trainer,

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Speaker 1: eating fatty foods and not moving. You know, we are

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Speaker 1: working out and you watch him train other people where

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Speaker 1: you sit in the corner. Okay, three times a week,

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Speaker 1: that's pretty good. I mean that keeps you going. You

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Speaker 1: could really only see him once and then just repeat

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Speaker 1: what he told taught you. But no one does that

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Speaker 1: yell at us. It's a female, by the way, but

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Speaker 1: her assumed, don't even come on. Of course it's a woman.

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Speaker 1: He's got to bounce back. I gotta bounce back. Look,

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Speaker 1: not that I have any ill will whatsoever towards my ex.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm not even looking at her social media,

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Speaker 1: and there's nothing to doing. Has something to do with

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Speaker 1: the fact that I'm blocked. And but like from what

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Speaker 1: I hear in the grape vine, I wish you the best.

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00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,119
Speaker 1: Here she's doing a lot of black face. Now I

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00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 1: hear she's, you know, doing a lot of anti Semitic stuff,

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Speaker 1: and she's Jewish, so I don't even understand that. But

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Speaker 1: I wish her the best. Here she's doing great. No, no,

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Speaker 1: that is true. No, but I'm but I'm doing I'm

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Speaker 1: doing that. I was earlier on I was writing some

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Speaker 1: poetry that was just kind of like pouring out of me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, you shared some of it with me.

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Speaker 1: It was so sweet, and Ben made me read it.

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, that was great, and then he goes,

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Speaker 1: it's not done. There's yeah. I'm like, I'm like, the

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Speaker 1: only eighteen more poems in front of my heart. But

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Speaker 1: I was staying at and he's like, just wait, just

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Speaker 1: there's I think there's a little bit more, and I'm

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Speaker 1: like you, I feel like I've been back at school

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Speaker 1: again and you're like finished the entire thing. But it

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Speaker 1: was really good and it was so sweet and like

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Speaker 1: emotional and like such a good way I feel like

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Speaker 1: to process your feelings. And we also were listening to

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Speaker 1: um We're just like singing in the car on the

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Speaker 1: way when you gave me that ride to Santa Monica,

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Speaker 1: and I heard the song the other night. Actually, you

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00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,479
Speaker 1: probably think that you will bet him now, Bet hm

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00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 1: now and Bet and I were like screaming and it

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00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 1: felt so cathartic. Have you been doing any singing karaoke?

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Speaker 1: Like has that helped you? Because you have a whole

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Speaker 1: set about your place. I do have a karaoke studio.

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Speaker 1: I've been doing a lot of solo karaoke. I will

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Speaker 1: broadcast it on Instagram live sometimes to eighteen people. So

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Speaker 1: the career is going well. I have relate to that.

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Speaker 1: I've done the same thing, yes, and I've been doing

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Speaker 1: a lot of that. That Better Now a song by

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Speaker 1: post Malone was killing me. I've finally stopped listening to

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Speaker 1: my breakup playlist like two weeks ago because it's been

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Speaker 1: like two and a half three months since the breakup.

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Speaker 1: But I have to say also, just like leaning on

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Speaker 1: my friends, I've had friends checking out on me and Nick.

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Speaker 1: Just so your listeners can hear this, you might want

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Speaker 1: me to say it, but you've been so lovely and

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Speaker 1: kind to me during this breakup and like you really

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Speaker 1: helped make it a lot easier on me. You've been

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Speaker 1: in a falling off recently, but like I get text

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Speaker 1: from you and like, because you have a your nocturnal

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00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,119
Speaker 1: and so I'll get text from you or d M

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Speaker 1: usually in the middle of the night, and um, and

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00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 1: I could tell you're going through a hard time or

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00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 1: you're like and then I check in on you on

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00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,159
Speaker 1: Instagram and I see always having a fun time, always

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00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: kind of like he's getting out about town, he's dating.

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00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 1: Like I can tell you're like trying to fill the void.

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Speaker 1: But I know that it's tough, and I know that

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Speaker 1: you have a waste to go because it's you know,

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00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 1: you were engaged, you were in how long were you

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00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 1: guys together? Years and years, four and a half years.

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Speaker 1: You have basically half a decade of life, you know,

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Speaker 1: I know, and in an important decade of like like

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Speaker 1: one like almost dare say our prime and you just

398
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Speaker 1: go do you feel it was wasted? Do you do

399
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 1: you look back? But as somebody was freezing their eggs,

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00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 1: I'm really like very cognizant of what what time is

401
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 1: wasted and like, oh this is the this is the

402
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 1: prime ship. Um, do you do you feel like that

403
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: was wasted? Or do you look back like like I'm

404
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 1: glad that I had that or what are I'm sure

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00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 1: you go through the range of feelings on this. Yeah,

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00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 1: I do. I mean a little bit of both. I

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00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 1: tried not to ever regret things in my life, and

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00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 1: I I don't feel it was wasted in the fact that, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I finally lived with somebody, I finally dated

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Speaker 1: somebody more than a year and a half and I

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Speaker 1: know that I can do that and made great memories

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Speaker 1: and the pandemic was a lot of it, and so

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Speaker 1: I could have been alone during that and said I

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00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 1: was with this lovely human that I you know, I

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00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,120
Speaker 1: was getting closer to and that was good. But when

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Speaker 1: I'm on the dating apps now and like most people

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00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: that are matching with are like she's fifty seven, she's

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00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 1: fifty four, she's forty nine, and no offense, but but

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Speaker 1: also I do want to know who is interested no

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00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: matter what the range is, because you once had a

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00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,159
Speaker 1: vibe with Susan Sarandon's and that you didn't capitalize on.

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00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: So there's there's and Portman, he has had chances with

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Speaker 1: all these women. He's blown it. We'll talk about that

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Speaker 1: more when we get back right after this with and Leave,

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00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: but we're back with Ben Gleeve. You can check out

426
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,959
Speaker 1: his special on YouTube. Ben Gleeb Mad King hilarious. One

427
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 1: of the best specials of last year. I believe, um,

428
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: Ben Um, you're going through a breakup. Have you been dating?

429
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: And like, here's my question is like, do girls that

430
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: you're dating I think they have a chance at a

431
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: relationship with you? Do they have a chance of relationship

432
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: with you? I think I've dated so many guys that

433
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: are getting out of things and I'm like, oh, this

434
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 1: is like and they're super down to like be cuddly

435
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: and like treat me like a girlfriend because they're missing

436
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,959
Speaker 1: their girlfriend. And then you realize that you're you're just

437
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 1: a placeholder and they have no intention of that and

438
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 1: they need to heal. Is that happening to you at all? Ah?

439
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: That is a tough one to answer, considering people could

440
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: listen to this, but I will say, um, yeah, I

441
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 1: mean I've definitely heard the comment like I don't want

442
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: to be your rebound, Like we'll be having a great

443
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 1: time and then you can feel somebody kind of all

444
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 1: of a sudden be like wait a minute, am I like,

445
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: you know, catching feelings when when that might not last

446
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 1: long term? But I don't feel any one way. I'm

447
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: by no means looking for another relationship this second. But

448
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 1: at the same time, I'm not somebody who's gonna who's gonna,

449
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: you know, avoid one if something unfold. Actually, I would

450
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: encourage a friend to date. You would be like, you know,

451
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 1: if you're the right one, he'll make an exception, he'll

452
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: snap out of it. I feel like you because you're

453
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 1: kind of ready. I mean obviously you were ready to

454
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: settle down and like find someone. Is it hard dating?

455
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 1: And L like, is it as hard as everyone says? Like?

456
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: What's it? Has not been hard? I mean knock on

457
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: wood and have a lot of wood in front of me.

458
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 1: I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just

459
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 1: have you know, cabinets here in front of me. Um,

460
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: I uh, it has not I mean luckily, And I

461
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 1: really think it's like the universe like wanted me to

462
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: not be that depressed after the breakup. Like I've had

463
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,959
Speaker 1: a streak of luck that has really like made me

464
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 1: feel very much better about the breakup. And I've been

465
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: able to spend time with some people and and like

466
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: realize there's a whole world out there again, and it

467
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 1: has made it a lot easier definitely, at least when

468
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm hanging Yeah, you know, here's my question is that

469
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: And I'm always projecting because I always I never dated

470
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: a guy that I wouldn't want to be their girlfriend.

471
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't even think maybe if I was

472
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: going on first dates that I met on a dating app,

473
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 1: I'd be like, well I don't know this guy, so

474
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 1: we'll see. But if I was like ready to bed you,

475
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: I was like ready to be your girlfriend. And so

476
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 1: I always asked my guy friends, like, how do you

477
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,679
Speaker 1: sleep with women and them not get attached and not

478
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,919
Speaker 1: end up having them hate you and want to like

479
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: and have this turn where they're like they were cool

480
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 1: with being casual. You thought they were maybe a haad

481
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,239
Speaker 1: of talk, but it wasn't that clear. And then they

482
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: changed their mind on you. I mean you're I know

483
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: you're like me too and know it to a degree

484
00:24:56,080 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 1: as well, Like how do men go about and sleep

485
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: with women and not have to leave a string of

486
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 1: women hating them in their wake? Like me who got

487
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: the wrong message or human would change it in my head? Yeah,

488
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:15,439
Speaker 1: I mean is that it six year old women? Yeah? No,

489
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 1: I'm all over the range right now. And first tip

490
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 1: I would give you is maybe try to frame it

491
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: in your head in a way where you're not thinking,

492
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: I'm about to bed this man, like you are a

493
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: Victorian queen? What what what are you in in in

494
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: the Renaissance? I'm about to bed to be you know discreets.

495
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: But yes, I mean every single time that you go

496
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: on a date with someone, the stakes are high. I

497
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: mean the stakes are we're at least gonna like like

498
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: fucking isnt is generally the goal? Like if this goes great,

499
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 1: we're gonna want to funk each other, and then in

500
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: our head it's we're going to marry this guy. I mean,

501
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,239
Speaker 1: there's it's undeniable that that is on the table, and

502
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: that you can't keep that even in your subconc from

503
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: otherwise you wouldn't do it what. No girls are going

504
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: on dates just to like, even if they say I'm

505
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: just dating, I don't really want a boyfriend, I don't

506
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 1: really believe them. I think that everyone's kind of looking

507
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: out for the one, and I think that's a lot

508
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 1: of pressure. And and then if there's good chemistry, you

509
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 1: certainly are going to start daydreaming about them being the one.

510
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: Maybe I maybe I'm crazy, but I always did. No.

511
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 1: I think probably that's that's true if it like starts

512
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: maybe on like a normal date, if it's like properly

513
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: going out, but you know, some of some of some

514
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 1: of the opportunities that I've stumbled into, like I'll meet

515
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: somebody at an event or something, or we're around drinking

516
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: and like so then it's like, all right, well, it's

517
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 1: not too weird to like, you know, go home with

518
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: somebody if you've already both been drinking and it's clearly

519
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 1: wasn't set up to be this romantic thing if you

520
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 1: weren't drinking that you have had as many hook ups

521
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: as you've had. I mean, like, how much does drinking

522
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,439
Speaker 1: play a role in hooking up? I would absolutely not

523
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: have and alcohol is a big part. I mean I

524
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: was talking to a friend of about this who's doing

525
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: who's been sober for a few months. He's like, it's

526
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: been very hard to date. I wish that wasn't the case,

527
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 1: but like when both parties are a little buzzed, I

528
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,239
Speaker 1: think that maybe is kind of the answer to what

529
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: you're saying, is like if girls a little buzz too,

530
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: she's thinking more sexually than maybe normally, and she's not

531
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: thinking all about romance and betting Prince Charming and Victorian

532
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 1: Castle as much she is. But you're going to get

533
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 1: that later on when she's sober. And that is that

534
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: I mean, like, do you feel like any of these

535
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: girls have like kind of followed up or are they

536
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: the type of girls that like are used to this

537
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 1: kind of thing and like they know the drill and

538
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: then you don't hear from them again, Like do they

539
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: know or do you have you left? Girl? Have you

540
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: had to have those conversations of like, I'm not only

541
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: looking for something right now, I've had so many of

542
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 1: those directed at me that it's just I can't imagine

543
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: women get to go out and about and like not

544
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: get hurt by hooking up. I just can't believe it. Well, firstly,

545
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: you know, I try to be as kind as I can,

546
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 1: so I'll keep giving it to him. You know, I'm

547
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: not trying to cut anybody out. I'm trying to give

548
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: a feelings and you're keep I'll keep sleeping with him.

549
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't need to. I don't need to. Yeah,

550
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to. You know, have have one office

551
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 1: too much necessarily. If somebody wants some repeat business, I'm

552
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: happy to offer a public service. You know, because you

553
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: you have sex, you have sex repeatedly with someone and

554
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 1: you start to have this intimacy and they start thinking

555
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: about you, and you know, in those quiet times and

556
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: they start fantasizing, and then there's little You've have been

557
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: through it before for sure, where the girl just says

558
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 1: something like just throws out a little dangles a line

559
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: of like oh if we were dating, or like you're

560
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: my boyfriend, or just where you go oh no, oh no. Well,

561
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: I think the key in those moments is as when

562
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: you have to be honest, is you have to say

563
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: you have to a one move is like let that

564
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: comment kind of sit for thirty seconds and like show

565
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: that it makes you a little bit uncomfortable, and then

566
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: say like I just want to be clear, like I'm

567
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: not at the moment looking for anything serious, not that

568
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: that's not possible, but just so you know, it's like

569
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 1: making me, it's making me have any Yeah, we we

570
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: we don't know. We know you're out of a relationship.

571
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: We know that you're not looking for anything. You told

572
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: us all of that. We think we can change you.

573
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: We think we like you might be able to not

574
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 1: when you would say something like that, that's like put

575
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: you put up, you know the heisman, and you like like, no,

576
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: this is the reason now director not giving consent to

577
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: us to take you on our little relationship path. You're

578
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: saying no, But the reason that I'm saying it, and

579
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: I think I at least try to say it with

580
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: a bit of an open door on it. I'm just

581
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 1: saying it so that you know that this may not

582
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: likely lead there, but it may. I'm not ever saying

583
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: just so you know there's no chance I'm gonna get

584
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 1: in a relationship. I'm just saying I'm not looking for that.

585
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,479
Speaker 1: I mean, it's definitely been girls like banging you, but

586
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 1: it's and I'm not saying you're like at faulty. I

587
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: want to be clear, like I'm not Ben, you mislead women.

588
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, how are women not getting hurt all

589
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: the time sleeping around with Ben? Glee? He's charming, he's cute.

590
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: I bet you are pretty good in bed, like you've

591
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: had experience. You're an emotional person. That's the thing, Ben,

592
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 1: You're an emotional person. I can see like holding a

593
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: girl's face and being like you're so beautiful baby, and

594
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: like being like when you're drunk, I can see you

595
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 1: so getting like lovey dovey, like boyfriendly. Yes, And I

596
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: mean it would be impossible for girls you have like

597
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: feelings or do women have hurt feelings around you? Have

598
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: you experienced generally pretty lucky to do it? I mean,

599
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 1: I think part of maybe the benefit of not being

600
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: like an asshole guy is is that is like I

601
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: am very complimentary, and I try to be very sweet,

602
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: and I think but I'm also just honest, and I

603
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: think they also just can tell they're not getting anything

604
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: false for me, and so I think I'm very sweet.

605
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: But but but people then know that if even if

606
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily call right after, or if we don't

607
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: make plans immediately right after, it's nothing against them I'm

608
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:02,959
Speaker 1: not trying to be mean. It's just I'm going through

609
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 1: a thing, and they understand and then we'll check in.

610
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: Because she said there could be a girl that would

611
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: break through it. It is personal and that's and I

612
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: know you're I know, it's not like I know the

613
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 1: circumstances and every person, but boy, does it feel that

614
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 1: it is. I mean, I will tell you one one

615
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: very weird experience that I just had though. So the

616
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: first uh person that broke the seal so to speak,

617
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 1: after my breakup, it was a you know, drunken night

618
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 1: after after a gig I did. It was like a

619
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: private Yeah, I was supposed to go to that. Uh No,

620
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: it's a different one. That was a different That was

621
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: the other night, um, which also ended. I definitely saw

622
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: that night. I saw your Instagram stories. I was like, oh,

623
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: this guy might be engaging in a foursome. I'm just

624
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: trying to have fun. But the point is, yeah, um,

625
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: the first person that I slept with after my breakup, um,

626
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: I you know kind of can venially for where I need,

627
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 1: where I was in my head because it was immediately

628
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: after the breakup, not immediately it was it was it

629
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: was it was weeks and weeks later. Don't want to.

630
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: I don't want my ex thinking if she hears this

631
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 1: that I immediately see nothing worry. Okay, I'm curious how

632
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: long that was really weeks and weeks? Okay it was.

633
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: It was weeks, and the least about of time there

634
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: could be to call it weeks, it was a couple

635
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: of weeks in dog years. The point is, um I

636
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: she was likely leaving for a trip the next day

637
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,239
Speaker 1: for like a couple of weeks, so I didn't have

638
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: to call and and it was obviously weird. But then

639
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 1: you know, I started hanging out with other people after that,

640
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 1: and I didn't hit her up. And and one thing

641
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: I do feel bad about, she did message me. It's

642
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: very unlike me, actually, but she messed me but wanting

643
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,959
Speaker 1: to hang out again, like weeks later, because I had

644
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: messaged her, I thought about her her on something and

645
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: I message her and she wrote back She's like, I

646
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: love to hang again. I just didn't reply to that,

647
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: and I was replied everything, but I didn't reply. I

648
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 1: just I got distracted and I didn't know what to say.

649
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: And I thought about it and I didn't reply, and

650
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: I almost never do that, but I was doing a

651
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: show four or five nights ago, and I did a

652
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 1: joke about our encounter, and the show ends and she

653
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 1: comes up to me, she was in the crowd. Was

654
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: it bad? Like it? I'll tell you the joke. Yeah,

655
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 1: it was not great. It was not great. Um, the

656
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: joke was, um, it was a pretty vulnerable joke to

657
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 1: The joke was, um, you know, I haven't had sex

658
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: with anybody other than my ex fiance in a half decade.

659
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: The climate has changed a bit. You know. It's all good,

660
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: but you need to like be a little more sensitive

661
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: these days. So we were having sex and I was

662
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: making what I would describe as bare noises, and I

663
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: don't need to act them out for you, but they

664
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: were kind of bare noises. In the middle, she says

665
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 1: to me, I just need to check in with you

666
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: right now. And so in the middle of me going

667
00:33:52,720 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 1: like suddenly had to go like hard to go back

668
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: to the right to the bar noises it. She wanted

669
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 1: to check back in to know that I wasn't like

670
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: just all about the sex, I think, and like I

671
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: was still a human connecting to human guys. You can

672
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: get a little carried away and like, oh, we're fucking

673
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: right now, and this is like right, I need to

674
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: just like make sure you know I'm in the room.

675
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 1: I'm not just like a whole yeah, And so I

676
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: you know, I smiled, and we finished it all good,

677
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 1: and I was like, she's finally going right back to

678
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 1: bar noise as long as she knew that there was

679
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 1: still a connection. And so she come up to me

680
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: after the show and I was like stunned, and I

681
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: gave her a hug and I'm like, you look great,

682
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: and then she texted me afterwards she was like, I

683
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 1: hope it's okay that I came to your show. I

684
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: just think you're hilarious and I wanted to hang and

685
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: like and uh. That was definitely a first for me

686
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 1: being referenced in an act like that from our encounter,

687
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,439
Speaker 1: unless another girl said that to you, in which case

688
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 1: it's an issue you might want to work on. L

689
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: o O. I like this girl. She definitely loved being referenced.

690
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,919
Speaker 1: I would love it if I was proference someone's joke

691
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 1: and that once didn't do anything wrong. You did. I

692
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: wrote a song about a guy, and this was years ago.

693
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: We had had like a very romantic weekend and I

694
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: liked him so much, and then I just never heard

695
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: from him again. And he was my friend's brother, so

696
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: I would kind of always know him because he was

697
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: my friend's brother. I wrote one song about him. I

698
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 1: never played it live except one time I played it

699
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 1: live like a year and a half later in a

700
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: coffee shop at a coffee shop gig and one of

701
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 1: my early gigs, and I remember introducing the song. It

702
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 1: was called Lincoln Continental, and I said something like this

703
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 1: is about a very cute guy liked and how it

704
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 1: went on a date and you know, never really heard

705
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: from him again and we had a very romantic weekend.

706
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 1: Don't know whatever happened to that asshole. Then I played

707
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: a song and then after the gig he's there and

708
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: he was like, I was going to surprise you, and

709
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 1: just I just wanted to say hi. I couldn't believe.

710
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,320
Speaker 1: I was kind of mortified because he wasn't totally an asshole.

711
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 1: He just again in your head that you made him

712
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,760
Speaker 1: into an asshole, when really it was probably a situation

713
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: of like he just didn't have the same feelings that

714
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: you had, and he thought he communicated that and he

715
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: didn't go like ghosting. I've I feel like We tossed

716
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 1: that around a lot, but like, how often do you

717
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 1: really know you write to them a question or something

718
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: and you just hear nothing like has ghosted each other?

719
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: Did you did you have sex in the back of

720
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: a Lincoln Continental? Yeah? Why was it called that? Because

721
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: that would maybe was the most serious. No, I don't

722
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: think that we went all the way, but we did

723
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 1: have fun in the continent. It was so weird that

724
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 1: he came and like it was that night. It was

725
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: just so bizarre, I of all of all the time. Yeah,

726
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:47,919
Speaker 1: it's I don't know that that's happened to me, but

727
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: I think that um just I mean someone coming to

728
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: your she that she clearly still likes you, and she

729
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,720
Speaker 1: definitely was like dazzled by the fact that you wrote

730
00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: about her and it wasn't anything bad. She just was

731
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 1: saying that she you know, you were just saying you

732
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 1: didn't say anything mean about her pussy or something that

733
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 1: a lot of I'm sure a lot of women have

734
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 1: gone to Chrystal Leiah's show and been like, he might

735
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: talk about me, and then it's like they they catch

736
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: something that you're like, oh, that's me, or you know,

737
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: like I'm sure there have been girls that have been

738
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: devastated by things they've heard there. I mean, I've seen

739
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: guys do comedy on Conan and talk about their wives

740
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,919
Speaker 1: in ways that I'm just like, this is humiliating. Um,

741
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: And I've certainly done that before too. When I'm hurt,

742
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 1: you know, like you write a joke about or a

743
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: song on you like where you're like, he didn't really

744
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: do anything wrong. I just like was hurt. We have

745
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 1: a mutual friend who just like the same kind of thing.

746
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: He was hugging up with a girl. He didn't have

747
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 1: the same kind of feelings that she did. He let

748
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 1: her down gently, and then she fucking hates him now,

749
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: and like just it's constantly bullying him and like getting

750
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 1: other people to hate him, and we're gonna giving him

751
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 1: advice about it, and I'm like, I've done this so

752
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: many times. Says nothing to do with whatever she's saying.

753
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,320
Speaker 1: She's trying to get you canceled for, like whatever ship

754
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: that you've posted about or your comedy or calling you

755
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 1: a phony, it's because you didn't like her. That's all, okay.

756
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 1: So not okay, it's so not okay. I've apologized, I've

757
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 1: made amends to those people. To that person that I

758
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: did that too, but I was just so I mean,

759
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 1: he didn't handle it in the greatest way, and there

760
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 1: were definitely problems with how he did things on his side,

761
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 1: But the way, the venom with which I hated him

762
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,959
Speaker 1: afterwards and tried to like rally other people to hate

763
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,879
Speaker 1: him was purely from a place, not of anything other

764
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 1: than just feeling rejected and being so mad that I

765
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 1: loved this person and they didn't love me back. And

766
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:43,760
Speaker 1: it's like, it's just it's just this young person's response

767
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: or a dumb person, like I see a lot of women,

768
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 1: like I have guy friends, and I see women in

769
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 1: their late thirties behaving this way and then into their forties,

770
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: and I go, this is something you get out of

771
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: in your twenties, I would hope. I mean, I was

772
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 1: probably thirty two when it's thirty four, so I guess

773
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: now I was pretty late to the game, presently bloomer,

774
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: like just getting hurt. That's why when I talked to

775
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 1: my male friends and they have casual hookups, always like,

776
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: how are you not leaving awake of just angry women

777
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: behind you? I don't think I've hardly ever, I don't

778
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: think I've ever really any Oh, yeah, I would know.

779
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I just think it's with being kind and

780
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: and expressing yourself. Honestly, I don't think it's fair for

781
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 1: somebody to expect that every hookup or even every dating

782
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 1: for a few weeks is going to lead to relationship.

783
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 1: And I think people that are mature kind of understand that.

784
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 1: But if guy tells you I am not, just so

785
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: you know, this isn't anything serious. Listen, it's very crucial.

786
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: We all think that we can change them. And also

787
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 1: we start having you know, I've talked about this at nauseum,

788
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: but like you, when you have sex with a guy,

789
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:54,240
Speaker 1: the chemical things happen that take over your logical brain

790
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 1: and it doesn't matter what you know to be true,

791
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,280
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what he's told you, and that logic

792
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 1: is out the fucking window when you let When you

793
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: have good sex with someone and feel like and start

794
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: to like them, it doesn't matter. You're gonna go. You're

795
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 1: gonna start fantasizing about a life with them and get hurt.

796
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: Every time I see young girls like even my niece Poppy,

797
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 1: I'm just like the world of hurt she is in for.

798
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 1: And even you know, boys too. Obviously, Ben, you're going

799
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,760
Speaker 1: through it. Like I look at children now and instead

800
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: of being like, man, they have such great lives ahead

801
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 1: of them, Like they get to go to high Like

802
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: I used to be jealous that they get to go

803
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: to high school and they get to just like still

804
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 1: enjoy cartoons and they get you know, they get riled

805
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,360
Speaker 1: up by like you know, they get to have candy,

806
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 1: like that's exciting to them, Like they don't have to

807
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,479
Speaker 1: pay taxes like and now I just think, oh, they're

808
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: just gonna have they have to learn so many lessons

809
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: and it bums me out for them. Yeah, true, Yeah

810
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 1: I do that. I mean, as you do your list

811
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 1: until taxes, I'm like, I still do every one of

812
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: those things. Now I'm enjoying cartoons at a bag of

813
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 1: skill two nights ago with children. But then but then

814
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 1: you feel fat the next day when you're kidding the

815
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: old when I was, I think that's what I mean,

816
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 1: like the unbridled like candy, it's just candy, it's only

817
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: just sugar and happiness. It's not hating yourself afterwards. It's

818
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: not like there's no as a child. I don't know,

819
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 1: maybe there's our children who feel like they hate themselves.

820
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: Like I think, you know, given your circumstance, you can

821
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: have bad self esteem, but as a kid, you just

822
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: I didn't compare myself to other people. I didn't worry

823
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: about what I put in my body. I didn't think

824
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 1: about I didn't dread things. I mean, there was certainly

825
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: like all the end of summer school again like oh

826
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 1: this sucks, but like there wasn't this like overwhelming sense

827
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: of like I don't know, I'm just feeling it this

828
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: morning of you know what, let's put a pit in

829
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: this conversation. Let's get back to this, right we're left

830
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:47,399
Speaker 1: off right after this. Okay, we're back. All I want

831
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: to do is sleep. I just want an escape from

832
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: like things to do, and like I'm I'm having trouble

833
00:41:54,760 --> 00:42:00,800
Speaker 1: like finding happiness in the in the climb, in the experience,

834
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 1: like I'm doing Kelly Clarkson tomorrow and I'm dreading it

835
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 1: because I don't know what I'm going to talk about

836
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: yet I hate all my jokes. I'm in this like

837
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 1: very negative phase of like I don't even want to

838
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: do my jokes on Kelly Clarkson because then people will

839
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 1: come see me on tour and be like we already

840
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 1: saw this. I kind of know this, and they won't

841
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: know where they hurt it, but they'll think she's just

842
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 1: doing old material. I also, I don't have it in

843
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: me right now to come up with new stuff. I

844
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: have to go to a fitting. I'm just feeling like

845
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: kind of dry and my spray tan sluffing off, and

846
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just everything about it is bumming me out.

847
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:35,479
Speaker 1: And I know I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna

848
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 1: have a blast, and then it's gonna be over and

849
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have this glossy clip that I can put

850
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,879
Speaker 1: up and be proud to be like, look what I did, America.

851
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: I'm still relevant. Put me in things and give me

852
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: more work that I can dread. It's like, what am

853
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: I doing? This is what this is? All I want

854
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: is for more people to get more work and to

855
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,879
Speaker 1: be more well known or whatever it is. And yet

856
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: every time I get something, I dread it. What is

857
00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 1: one thing that I try to help you with sometimes,

858
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: I mean, just try to remind you to appreciate it.

859
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 1: I mean, you're at the top of the world right now.

860
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: You're You're where everyone wishes they would be. In this

861
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,919
Speaker 1: entertainment industry. You get to do every show, you get

862
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 1: to be in every single thing. You're so in demand

863
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 1: and and most people wish they could be experiencing what

864
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: you're experiencing, especially people pursuing it. And also you're just

865
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 1: hilariously funny and charming, So you can also just go

866
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 1: on and riff these things. Don't even have to burn jokes.

867
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 1: You can just go and riff and you're pretty damn good.

868
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: I mean, you can call her out and make fun

869
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 1: of things on her desk and talk about someone in

870
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: the audience or someone that you met backstage that was

871
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: worked on the crew that had a funny thing on, Like,

872
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 1: you're great at all that stuff. You're great everything you

873
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 1: talked about here today. Yeah, talk about my breakup and

874
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: how I'm clearly breaking hearts of people and bring that.

875
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: Talk about Ben's fun, thank you bad and he's giving

876
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 1: me so much material today. Yeah, I just after this,

877
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 1: I just what I'm gonna do as soon as we

878
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 1: end this podcast is I'm going to get back in bed.

879
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna close all the curtains, shut the lights off,

880
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna think about the Kelly Clarkson call

881
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: that I have to have and come up with something

882
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 1: that's like how, and then I'll probably fall asleep and

883
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: then wake up and be like, oh funk this the

884
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 1: call like that probably was gonna happen, but I just

885
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 1: want to go back to sleep where like, I don't know.

886
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 1: Last night I was in a field holding hands with

887
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: David Letterman and then he bit my hair and was

888
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 1: chewing my hair, and then he spit it on Alonzo

889
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: Bowden's coat, and that was my dream and it was awesome,

890
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: and that was a better life than he was chewing

891
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: your hair and some hair on the Great Alonzo Bowden.

892
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: Everybody spit it on Alonzo's wool coat. And we were

893
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 1: in line to be to go on Andrew Santino's talk show,

894
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: and we were all waiting in line, and then I

895
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: took his spit because I remember when he was holding

896
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 1: my hand, I was like, no one's gonna believe that.

897
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: David Letterman is like trying to fucking cop a field

898
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 1: right now and hold my hand and like, and I

899
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: was like, and then he bit my hair and I go,

900
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 1: no one's gonna believe this either, and then he when

901
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 1: he spit it on Alonzo's coat, I grabbed it because

902
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 1: I was like, I have his d n A and

903
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 1: my hair and then much how much hair? It didn't

904
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: bother me usually like obviously losing my hair is like

905
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,840
Speaker 1: my biggest fear, but it was like I was wearing

906
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: my hair up in a ponytail, so it was just

907
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: the top scalp, and it was just like a little

908
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: a little bit like it just I don't know, it

909
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,720
Speaker 1: didn't bother just like I already know what this is.

910
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: When were your last wearing your hair up? A couple

911
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: of days ago? I think, Oh, I guess for the

912
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 1: people the Critics Choice Awards, and you were surrounded by

913
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: celebrities and you were waiting in a line and they

914
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 1: didn't let you in on the red carpet. They made

915
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: you go downstairs. In real life, they made her, they

916
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: told her the red carpet was closed. She has to

917
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 1: go to a step and repeat down in the fucking basement.

918
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 1: So this dream is about fame, about your place in

919
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 1: the world of fame. Your worst fear is somebody taking

920
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 1: your hair out, but it's an icon, so he like

921
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 1: is being sexual with you, take your hair, spits it,

922
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: and then what you who's Alonzo Bowden to you. He's

923
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:12,240
Speaker 1: another comedian, UM respectable, uh strapping, handsome uh been around forever,

924
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: one last comic standing, uh friendly guy I don't know,

925
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,760
Speaker 1: like someone I respect, but who isn't like the most famous,

926
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: but who is definitely respected in comedy. I don't know.

927
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 1: I don't know what he is to me. He's wearing

928
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,399
Speaker 1: a wool campble coat. I mean, this all checks out.

929
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 1: We're waiting for Andrew Santino's show, and as we were

930
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: waiting for his talk show, I was like, why can't

931
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 1: I come up with a talk show like this? Like

932
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 1: the whole time, I was just like, why did he

933
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 1: Instead of a talk show, it was like a projected

934
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,320
Speaker 1: on a wall, like a desk was a it was

935
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: all a projection. And I was like, Oh, that's an

936
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 1: interesting idea. And now I realized I came up with it.

937
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: It was my freaking I created that TV show. I

938
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: should have I should, you know, get a credit for it. Um.

939
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I think all of that is true.

940
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: I felt, as you're saying up bed of, like you're

941
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: at the top of your game, people would want to

942
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 1: be you. I feel that some days, and then I

943
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: think going to that and that people heard me talking

944
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 1: about yesterday, and it's such like first world problems, like

945
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 1: where where, but just feeling so small in that room,

946
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: like just feeling like, no matter what I do, I'll

947
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 1: never be as big as any of these people and

948
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 1: is worshiped. And it's like and not that I even

949
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 1: want that. And that was another thing, is like the

950
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 1: thing that I think I won't I don't even want

951
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 1: because at the same time I was having this, it

952
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 1: was a paradox of like I want to be more

953
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: known because no one cares about me in this room.

954
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 1: I'm sucking in the same room as Julia Roberts. I

955
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: mean nothing. It's like me, I could be a cater

956
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: waiter and it would be the same, Like I'm closer

957
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: to their level than Julia Roberts. Like and not that

958
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,359
Speaker 1: there's any I'm just talking about status on a very

959
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 1: superficial level. Don't come at me. I'm a cater waiter.

960
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it. I felt so unimportant. But at

961
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:54,280
Speaker 1: the same time, I don't like the worship of Julia Roberts.

962
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: She's just a person that has was born with a

963
00:47:56,560 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 1: pretty skull and a good and good skin and is

964
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: able to portray strangers better than other people. It's not

965
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: really a skill that has any kind of redeemable quality

966
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: outside of the society we're leaving in now. Like Conan

967
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: often references like in another world, like in like the

968
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: turn of the century, and take any century besides the

969
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 1: recent one, his skill would have been worthless, like just

970
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 1: being like the court jester, like he would be the

971
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: most famous person. He would just be a guy, you know,

972
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: like the caterers more important, because you die if you

973
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: don't you don't. You die if you don't eat food.

974
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 1: But Dowson Abbey, he doesn't have a place. I just

975
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 1: that show has to be called Downtown Abbey. I hate that,

976
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 1: but it's I'm sure that's been well draped. Watched one

977
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 1: episode and then he died, and I go, I'm none.

978
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: But I have several issues with the whole premise of

979
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: what you just said, which is I think that I mean,

980
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 1: it was very cute your posts about being next to

981
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: Julia Roberts and and you sit at the table and

982
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 1: she was just here and touched my chair and everything.

983
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: But if you had had the confidence just to go

984
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 1: up to her say hi, I think you're awesome, she

985
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,919
Speaker 1: probably would have been like, oh, my god, I love

986
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: you and everything you're doing. She probably does know who

987
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,280
Speaker 1: you are, and she probably, I mean the best example

988
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 1: you said, you know where near these people like worshiping

989
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 1: you or caring about you. It's not true at all,

990
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 1: because I mean, look at Chelsea Handler, who I'm still

991
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:25,879
Speaker 1: friends if. I used to be very close with when

992
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: I was on her show and we would hang out

993
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 1: all the time, and like every celebrity on Earth, idolizes

994
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 1: a party at her house, and like Gwen Stefani and

995
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 1: Sandra Bullock and Charlie's Theren and Jane Fonda are all

996
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: at the party being like, oh my god, Chelsea just

997
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: walked by. Chelsea just did this. I was at one

998
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 1: point talking me, Jane Fonda and Chelsea Handler in a

999
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: little triangle, and then Jane whispers something in Chelsea's ear.

1000
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: Chelsea makes a disgusted face and walks off without replying

1001
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: to her and icon of our time, of our generation

1002
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: and many generations. Jane Fonda turns to me insecurely and says,

1003
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: was it something I said? I never know what to

1004
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 1: think with with with that woman, what what's going on

1005
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 1: in her head? And I was like, thank god, it's

1006
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 1: not just me that responds that way to Chelsea's even

1007
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 1: Jane Fonda, and so everybody has that issue and just

1008
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,959
Speaker 1: realized that if you remind yourself, we're all the same.

1009
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 1: Even Julia Roberts in that moment, is the same and realizes,

1010
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: probably because she seems like a nice person, that she's

1011
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 1: the same. And then I mean it did help us

1012
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,240
Speaker 1: off in the blow minutes later than Jane and I

1013
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 1: did Molly together. But the point is, yeah, she's so cool.

1014
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 1: It was her first time doing Molly too. It was

1015
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 1: really fun. Oh my god, wait where did we just

1016
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 1: got really high? And then I called next to play

1017
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 1: Edward Norton ping pong. Next he was playing ping pong

1018
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: in some dude, and then Jane Fonda is like, oh,

1019
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: I have to see that. I'm like why, She's like,

1020
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 1: I want to see you playing ping pong on Molly,

1021
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 1: And so I'm playing ping pong with Edward Norton and

1022
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, halfway through the game's icon, Jane

1023
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 1: Fonda Barbarella just plops down on a couch and was

1024
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 1: watching us play pink po and then like, I lost.

1025
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 1: I lost sixteen, and I said, let's run it back,

1026
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: and he's like, why don't you find somebody more at

1027
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: your skill level? And I was like, that's hurtful, and

1028
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 1: then he said later he's like, don't worry. I studied

1029
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 1: under a Chinese master. I lived in China. I'm like

1030
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 1: very Edward Nord and sounding thing to say, my god,

1031
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 1: no kidding, yeah. And then I gave some drugs. I

1032
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:24,240
Speaker 1: gave some molly to Matthew Brodrick, who then left before

1033
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 1: I got to put my baggie away, and I'm like, Matthew,

1034
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: you get back here, and he's like what. I'm like,

1035
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 1: I'm putting my baggie away. You can't take the drugs

1036
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 1: and then leave me exposed with the bag out. He's like, sorry,

1037
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 1: I didn't know, I'm new with this or whatever. And

1038
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 1: so I made him stay until I put it away

1039
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 1: in my pocket. It was a wild night. It is

1040
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 1: Ben's dream from last night. Not not only was it

1041
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,279
Speaker 1: not a dream not to rub his in nick, but

1042
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 1: last night I fucked David Letterman. Just so you know,

1043
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 1: I get it. I mean I understand, like, but at

1044
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 1: the same time, I think that is so lame to

1045
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: like have, Like whenever I see like celebrities bragging about

1046
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 1: being friends with all these celebrities, I don't really think

1047
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: they're real friends. I think it's all just a show,

1048
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 1: and I then that depresses me. It's like I'd rather

1049
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 1: just be with my close friends that I can actually

1050
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 1: talk to and like we can show each other our

1051
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: vaginas and like there's been like like I like someday

1052
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: then I don't get attached though, Um no I bar noises. Um.

1053
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: I just feel like I ruined myself to all your listeners,

1054
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,760
Speaker 1: like I'm out at least most men make baron noises.

1055
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:35,800
Speaker 1: I felt like that was actually a good description. Was

1056
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 1: like I'm just like waking up from a hibernation. I'm

1057
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: just kind of like being roused. Um. But yeah, I

1058
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:46,760
Speaker 1: just feel like I don't know, this is the dumbest

1059
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 1: conversation for me to complain about any of this stuff,

1060
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 1: but it's just it's there's just a point in my

1061
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 1: life where I'm like the things I've pursued, that my

1062
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 1: goals are all based on a superficial thing to me.

1063
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 1: I feel like and like last night I was with

1064
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 1: my friend's son Leon. He's like a little baby, and

1065
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 1: he remembered me from like I've seen him like three

1066
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: times in his life. And he's nine months old, and

1067
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 1: he remembered me and was like crawling on me and

1068
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: just like laying his head on me. And then he

1069
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: his little hand was like gripping me, and I like

1070
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 1: was zooming in on his hand, just like like just

1071
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 1: like trying to like grabbing onto holding onto me. And

1072
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 1: I was like, that is what That is cooler to

1073
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 1: me than any celeb encounter. Like that's that's what makes

1074
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,840
Speaker 1: me up. And I hate to sound like that's really

1075
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 1: what this is about. It's about nature and family and friends, like,

1076
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 1: but it really is, like why am I not pursuing

1077
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: babies grabbing at me more? I guess if one of

1078
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 1: the girls I was sleeping with said that story, I

1079
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:56,240
Speaker 1: would not text again. That's the truest thing he said. Yeah,

1080
00:53:56,600 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 1: I mean that's not a good sign. Um, good to

1081
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 1: know that. I mean, I'm I'm mostly joking, but I

1082
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: mean it's not something you want to hear on on

1083
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 1: date one or two. It's like my hand being gripped

1084
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 1: by a young baby. All right, Well, let's slow it down.

1085
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:15,280
Speaker 1: I don't want but I don't want a baby. Another

1086
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 1: paradox is like that's what brings me the most joy,

1087
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 1: Yet I don't want a baby. It's like these constant

1088
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: I would text back, then I would text changes, just

1089
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 1: hold random babies hands and then get the funk out

1090
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 1: of there. Um, and I leave just a wake of

1091
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 1: disappointed babies that hate me and I respected more from me. Um. Yeah,

1092
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:40,919
Speaker 1: I just feel like I don't know, I'm just every

1093
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,400
Speaker 1: time I come to l A, I struggle with this

1094
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 1: because this town it tends to overwork me. I think

1095
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 1: that not getting enough sleep, not getting enough just like

1096
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 1: quality time with friends, um, and just feeling like you

1097
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 1: have to look a certain way and like everyone hears

1098
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 1: on ozempic and everyone's thin. Everyone is constant going to

1099
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 1: some kind of rumble boxing class or like a spin class.

1100
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:06,359
Speaker 1: I don't know. I walked by this place all the time.

1101
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 1: That's like rumble Fitness, and it's just like hot girls

1102
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 1: going in and out with cropped sweatshirts and on sunset.

1103
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: Between pink Dot and the snore poem, I didn't read them.

1104
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 1: I let her do her own reading. Yeah, let me

1105
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,239
Speaker 1: read them, and I had to. Like it was the

1106
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 1: stress of like, okay, I have to read this and

1107
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 1: actually like committed to mind, but I also have to

1108
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 1: remember to make fun of him for this later on

1109
00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:41,560
Speaker 1: there at that moment. Yeah, I mean, these are like

1110
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:44,279
Speaker 1: the constant things that I have. But it's all because

1111
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,320
Speaker 1: I'm just stressed out about Kelly Clarkson, which all of

1112
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 1: a sudden showed up of a schedule because someone dropped out,

1113
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,800
Speaker 1: and so it's just like a thing and I just

1114
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 1: don't feel prepared. As long as I get prepared, I'll

1115
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: be great. But um, I need more caffeine in me.

1116
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,839
Speaker 1: I meet need more. I just need I need something

1117
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:01,400
Speaker 1: to stap me out of this left. Maybe I need

1118
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: to meditate, do some breathwork, make a gratitude list. Something

1119
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: needs to I need to snap out of this. Also,

1120
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:14,319
Speaker 1: I think you need to remind yourself that I think

1121
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 1: all of that business is a choice. You need to

1122
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: remind yourself that, like you, you do more stuff than

1123
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 1: most people do because you're very kind person, and you

1124
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 1: say yes to everything, to a lot of things you

1125
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 1: asked to do and every single podcast and like, and

1126
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 1: you don't need to do any of those things. You

1127
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 1: don't need to, Dolly. I mean, you need to Killy

1128
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: Clarkson now because you said yes, But you don't need

1129
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 1: to do any particular talk show if you took one

1130
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 1: or five off. If you weren't in the media for

1131
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 1: six months, that would not do anything negative to you, know,

1132
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 1: it wouldn't six months would do nothing. I'm telling you,

1133
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:50,320
Speaker 1: it's all a choice. It's all a choice. There's definitely

1134
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 1: something to be said by for doing the things, something

1135
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: to be said for being a little more mysterious and

1136
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 1: not doing all the things. So my only point with

1137
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 1: that is that definitely you don't have to say yes

1138
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:01,759
Speaker 1: to every podcast and every single show. And if you

1139
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:03,839
Speaker 1: said to Kelly Clarkson, I'm not ready this week, I'd

1140
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: love to do it in the next couple of months,

1141
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 1: they would book you in two months and it would

1142
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 1: be more. I mean, I struggle with that like too

1143
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:13,800
Speaker 1: available type thing, because you feel so if you're choosing

1144
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 1: to do things, just remind yourself every time. It will

1145
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: help you get up for it that it's a choice

1146
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 1: and you won't dread the things as much because you

1147
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 1: truly don't have to be doing it. Like like when

1148
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 1: I started stand up like three years in one day,

1149
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:28,919
Speaker 1: just all of a sudden got really tired of saying

1150
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 1: the same jokes over and over again, and I was like,

1151
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 1: oh no, what am I gonna do and my whole

1152
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 1: life now is going to be repeating my own thoughts

1153
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: over and over again. And then I thought about it

1154
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 1: for a week and I thought, I realized what a

1155
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 1: privilege to be able to just have funny thoughts. I

1156
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 1: thought of that I get to say, and I get

1157
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 1: to choose to tell them, or I can choose to

1158
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 1: tell different ones, or do I don't have to do it.

1159
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 1: And I never got tired of it again because I

1160
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 1: realized it's a choice. Even though we want to like

1161
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,160
Speaker 1: hate on it and think negatively, it actually is a

1162
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 1: choice that we're making over and over again. So choose one. No.

1163
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,320
Speaker 1: I had a call with my my team Want to

1164
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,400
Speaker 1: Zoom like a couple of weeks ago, and I was like,

1165
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 1: I want to be a regular on Kelly Clarkson. That

1166
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 1: has to happen. Ine like, that's a goal. I love

1167
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: that show. I see clips all the time. They look cool,

1168
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 1: She's amazing. I always have fun on that show. I

1169
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:17,440
Speaker 1: always kill it on that show. And then the next

1170
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: week they're like Kelly Clarkson booked, and I'm like, not

1171
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:23,440
Speaker 1: now like I wanted to, which is supposed to be

1172
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 1: in a couple of years from now. Like I want

1173
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 1: to do all these things and then they arrive and

1174
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I gotta fucking do them. And I mean,

1175
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 1: I think that's where everyone relates to that when inside,

1176
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 1: if you tell your team I want the thing and

1177
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: they can get it for you, that's a little different. No,

1178
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 1: they did their due diligence. I don't even know what

1179
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 1: that words means, but they do. They do that, and

1180
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:44,680
Speaker 1: then I feel and I want to just say with

1181
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: Kelly Clarkson, I do want to do that. The podcast

1182
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 1: I did yesterday, I did want to do it because

1183
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: it was about I got to read a book and

1184
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 1: I do a book club podcast, and I like that podcast.

1185
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 1: I've listened to it, and so I am choosing things

1186
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 1: that I want to do. Um. There are things though, that, yeah,

1187
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: you do because you're just like, this is going to

1188
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 1: spread the word about my show. Do I want to

1189
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 1: have a call today with the Kalamazoo paper about my

1190
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: shows in Kalamazoo? Funck? Now, I don't do I want

1191
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 1: to call a radio station and Juliet, Illinois. Probably not.

1192
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: That's not because I don't like those people. They're not

1193
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 1: good entertainers. But like the other day, I had a

1194
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:18,520
Speaker 1: radio interview and final thought. I had a radio interview

1195
00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:20,840
Speaker 1: the other day and they were like, we interviewed you

1196
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 1: five years ago, and I just want to say you're

1197
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 1: just as nice as you were then, and not you're

1198
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 1: way more famous, but you're still as nice as rare.

1199
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: And I was like, well that it shouldn't be rare,

1200
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:32,680
Speaker 1: but thank you for saying that, and they go, I go,

1201
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys see people changed without the years

1202
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 1: because it's a radio station that's been on forever. And

1203
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 1: they were like, yeah, we made some people's careers and

1204
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:41,440
Speaker 1: then they don't even call in anymore. They were like,

1205
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 1: Larry the cable guy used to come in, call in

1206
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 1: three times a week and we haven't heard from it.

1207
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 1: I go, it's not because he doesn't appreciate what you did.

1208
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 1: He's fucking busy. He can't do three times a week anymore.

1209
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: And he was on his way up. You got to

1210
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 1: do that stuff, and so I was kind of like

1211
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 1: this is It made me think, oh, man, if I

1212
00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 1: if I turned down this radio a station in the future,

1213
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 1: their story will be Nikki big Time does she thinks

1214
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 1: she's too big for it? But what the story is

1215
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 1: is I just can't fit it all. I would love

1216
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 1: to keep doing that show three times a week. I'm

1217
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 1: sure Larry would too when he had time. It was

1218
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,920
Speaker 1: what he did. And I think that that also um

1219
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: weighs on me of you know, even you know, I

1220
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:21,240
Speaker 1: can relate this to listeners who are like ship Nikki,

1221
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 1: shut up about you know, your showbiz life. You know

1222
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 1: you might have uh, I have this in my own life.

1223
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I talked about constantly, like no one

1224
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 1: does anything anymore, No one wants to hang out, No,

1225
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 1: none of our friends want to hang out. People are

1226
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 1: just like they don't think to invite us to things,

1227
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 1: you know. And then I go, it's because they have

1228
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 1: kids and families. They they they it's something they don't

1229
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 1: like us less. They're just have less space in their

1230
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 1: brain for to remember to invite us. And it's the

1231
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 1: same thing of like just not taking it personally. And

1232
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,320
Speaker 1: I think that really is what I have to work

1233
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: on more than anything. Is like not everything is a

1234
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 1: personal attack. That's almost like being in that room at

1235
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: the Critics Choice and just being like, you're insignificant. Even

1236
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 1: thinking about myself in those terms, it's like who, no

1237
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: one cares about you? That's my problem. But also who

1238
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 1: cares that no one cares about you? That's also like,

1239
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 1: it's it's self serving to even think that people should

1240
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 1: care about me, even though I don't want that. It's

1241
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,240
Speaker 1: it's also the opposite because there's probably a good chance

1242
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 1: Julia Roberts is like, I haven't had a hit in

1243
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 1: a long time. I see that everything, and she didn't

1244
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 1: win her categories. She's there. You don't go to the

1245
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 1: Great Choice Awards if you're nominated unless you think I

1246
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,840
Speaker 1: might win. Like, if you thought you were gonna lose

1247
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 1: or had any inside infote, you would not be there.

1248
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,080
Speaker 1: It's embarrassing to lose when you're in person, your face

1249
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 1: is up there and the cameras on you, and then

1250
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 1: they say someone else's name, and then the cameraman slowly

1251
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 1: like pants to go to someone else. That's so embarrassing.

1252
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, she probably had those same moments too, even

1253
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 1: though she looked like twenty five and was flawless and

1254
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:04,439
Speaker 1: radiant and um definitely the bell of the ball. Um. Yeah,

1255
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: but I think you should just talk on Kelly Clarkson

1256
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: about this moment where you're sitting at the table and

1257
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:18,160
Speaker 1: and then your face is soles. It's so funny this

1258
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 1: this could be a ten minutes segment just like tell

1259
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 1: us everything that's going on in your minds for like

1260
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:28,080
Speaker 1: your your your Candace Bushnell series, like it really is.

1261
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:32,439
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's a good pitch. That's a really

1262
01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 1: good idea. What would it be called? Um on the sideline?

1263
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:40,800
Speaker 1: I'm a title for a million years I wanted to

1264
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 1: do called non Entourage. Oh that's great, which like it's

1265
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,360
Speaker 1: the opposite of enter It's like the real story. It's

1266
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 1: like you go home alone and like you're trying to

1267
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 1: do the things and you don't get all the big

1268
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 1: things and there's no vins, you know. Yes, that is

1269
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:59,680
Speaker 1: a like I should say, could still have a show. Yeah,

1270
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 1: and you could still have the brother Johnny drama just

1271
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 1: for some reason, it's also your brother and he appears

1272
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 1: every episode and just goes sorry, Bro, just his only

1273
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:11,320
Speaker 1: two words you ever said on that show. Sorry Bro.

1274
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:14,400
Speaker 1: That was really good. Bevan Glee, thank you so much

1275
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:16,920
Speaker 1: for being here. Um. I love you so much. I

1276
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 1: hope that I get to see you on this trip.

1277
01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm leaving Thursday. I don't know that I will. I

1278
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:23,320
Speaker 1: don't even know, you know, I didn't tell you because

1279
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:24,960
Speaker 1: I just didn't have time. I knew that would you

1280
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 1: would obviously be a person I would hang out with

1281
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,800
Speaker 1: if I had time. Thursdays several days away. We can

1282
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 1: maybe squeeze it in. It is several days away a keyword. Um, Yeah,

1283
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 1: let's squeeze it in. We'll text each other. I gotta

1284
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:37,760
Speaker 1: go to the fitting now and then get back in

1285
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:40,120
Speaker 1: bed and think about Kelly Clarkson. Watch me on that tomorrow,

1286
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:43,800
Speaker 1: see what I come up with. Um. And I love

1287
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 1: you too, by the way, and you are the best,

1288
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 1: and thank you. So nice to meet friend. Nice to

1289
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:53,320
Speaker 1: meet you. Nice to meet you too, And this has

1290
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:58,280
Speaker 1: been very nice. Follow him on things. He's hilarious. He

1291
01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 1: check out his Aagram um lives where he's singing karaoke

1292
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:06,400
Speaker 1: a Loane date people my fans love and Instagram Live

1293
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:08,800
Speaker 1: and I am. I go live on our account all

1294
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 1: the time and there's like thirty people there and it's

1295
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,360
Speaker 1: sometimes I sometimes WoT a stick or over the number

1296
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:16,439
Speaker 1: ben so then I don't think about it. It's really

1297
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:20,200
Speaker 1: good idea because they can't. That's the one that's gonna

1298
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:25,280
Speaker 1: have a thousand viewers and I'll never know one time

1299
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:27,680
Speaker 1: I did. I went on TikTok live for the first

1300
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:30,840
Speaker 1: time and so and I started off frame and it

1301
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 1: was like seven hundred viewers and I was so excited.

1302
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 1: I'm like whoa. And the second I stepped on frame

1303
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:42,880
Speaker 1: and just drop it was so like people would rather

1304
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 1: watch a blank wall. I've rarely do this, but you

1305
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 1: post a story and I'll be like, this is an

1306
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 1: actually good one. I wonder like if this would be

1307
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,120
Speaker 1: what I could do on TikTok or something, and I'll

1308
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 1: watch I'll look at the analytics of it and it

1309
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 1: shows how many people click forward like just went past it,

1310
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:04,080
Speaker 1: how many people exited out of your story, how many

1311
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:06,480
Speaker 1: people went back like that's what I wanted. The number

1312
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:08,200
Speaker 1: of people going like, oh I want to watch this again,

1313
01:05:08,640 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 1: it's like two. I was like it would be like thousands.

1314
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:16,280
Speaker 1: I was like, this is entertaining people. Just go Tinks,

1315
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:18,400
Speaker 1: this girl that I followed, Tinks did an impression of

1316
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:21,080
Speaker 1: like when when when you think when you say he

1317
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 1: watches my Instagram stories, like oh my god, he's been

1318
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 1: watching my score stories. What it really looks like It's

1319
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 1: just a guy going like uh and let's just clicking

1320
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 1: it so fast on a toilet on a toilet. Yes,

1321
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 1: it's like it's never what you think. It's so embarrassing

1322
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 1: that someone would like be watching my face and like

1323
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 1: clip off of it. Even if I do that to

1324
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,080
Speaker 1: everyone all day, I do it to both of view,

1325
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean love. And another horrible metric is

1326
01:05:49,880 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 1: the one that tells you watch time like you think

1327
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:54,320
Speaker 1: the view counts. You're getting our real views. And just

1328
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: like a one minute video, it's only a fucking minute long,

1329
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:01,360
Speaker 1: and the average watch time nine seconds. You don't even

1330
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:05,040
Speaker 1: get to the first thought. Now I know why you

1331
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 1: two are a little prone to depression. I didn't even know.

1332
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:11,080
Speaker 1: I looked at it one time, and I go, I mean,

1333
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:14,480
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm better at not reading comments than fucking anyone.

1334
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 1: I don't look at any of that stuff. I would.

1335
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be here with us today if I read

1336
01:06:18,360 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 1: that stuff. If I looked at my likes and followed

1337
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:24,160
Speaker 1: how many how many followers I lose, I literally would

1338
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:26,160
Speaker 1: have killed myself. But I'm not kidding you. I would

1339
01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 1: not be alive right now because it's so depressing. So

1340
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 1: it's rare that I don't seek the stuff out. It

1341
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:32,920
Speaker 1: was just one time I looked, and I go, I

1342
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:36,320
Speaker 1: will never go back. It was Pandora's Box of Hell.

1343
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:39,040
Speaker 1: And and then I hear on Twitter there's a new

1344
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:41,280
Speaker 1: button that shows you or there's a new thing that

1345
01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:43,480
Speaker 1: shows you how many people have senior tweet. It used

1346
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 1: to just be like if they liked it. Now you

1347
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:47,200
Speaker 1: can see how many people saw it versus the number

1348
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:49,440
Speaker 1: of likes and how many people did not like it.

1349
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 1: I hate that stuff too, but I just honestly use

1350
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,440
Speaker 1: it to make me stronger. I look at that stuff

1351
01:06:56,520 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 1: and it makes me feel kind of bad, but I

1352
01:06:58,320 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 1: really feel like I'm taking it on his arm or

1353
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 1: like is it to make the rope stronger that I'm

1354
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 1: trying sprinkler system to a sprinklers, Like what do you

1355
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:14,160
Speaker 1: rig sprinkler? Someone trying to kill themselves and just being

1356
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:19,320
Speaker 1: like jetted around, just being sent everywhere with this rope,

1357
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:21,480
Speaker 1: not being killed, but just being like a dog, like

1358
01:07:21,520 --> 01:07:24,160
Speaker 1: you guys thrown around the yard. To consider what you'd

1359
01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:27,080
Speaker 1: hang yourself off and you weren't if you can't even

1360
01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:29,480
Speaker 1: put a hanger on, and how could you wait? Well,

1361
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 1: I mean, like the piping, I was sure they're more specific.

1362
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:34,920
Speaker 1: This is why I'm going to bomb on kellys are good.

1363
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:38,280
Speaker 1: I'm not good off. I'm not good riffing. I'm just

1364
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:39,920
Speaker 1: gonna end it all, and by that I just mean

1365
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:41,919
Speaker 1: this podcast and I'll see what stars in the borrow.

1366
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:44,760
Speaker 1: This was one more sentence before you ended, because that's

1367
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:47,000
Speaker 1: exactly how you see it wrong, because you were so

1368
01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:49,200
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if anybody's ever forcibly not let you end

1369
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:52,800
Speaker 1: your own podcast before, sorry, but that's exactly how you

1370
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,880
Speaker 1: see it wrong, because you just riffed so funnily. It

1371
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 1: was the best back and forth. It was piping day

1372
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,720
Speaker 1: because they're gonna go. Ben Beleeve wouldn't let her end

1373
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: her podcast in two thousand twenty three, and it's gonna

1374
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:08,520
Speaker 1: be like two thousand forty five when that is like

1375
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 1: if a guy doesn't let you enter a podcast, and

1376
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:13,400
Speaker 1: then you're gonna get canceled from what's you're gonna go.

1377
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:16,280
Speaker 1: It was a different time back then. We were you

1378
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 1: can interrupt women. I don't mean to, I don't mean

1379
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:21,479
Speaker 1: to man explain your podcast. But thank you all for

1380
01:08:21,520 --> 01:08:23,880
Speaker 1: listening to the Nikki Glazer Podcast. I really appreciate you

1381
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 1: guys being here, and we'll see you again soon. Don't

1382
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:28,880
Speaker 1: be killed, Jack fo