WEBVTT - Summer book series: Sharon Stone 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.520 Hi everyone, I'm Katie Curic and this is next question. 0:00:05.200 --> 0:00:08.400 Sharon Stone is known for portraying a certain type of brash, 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:12.640 cunning villain, like Katherine Trammel in Basic Instinct? Did You 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:16.120 Kill Mr? Bosmas Tramel, I'd have to be pretty stupid 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:18.079 to write a book about killing and then kill somebody 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:20.759 the way I described in my book Lorie Quaid and 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:25.680 total recall. Sorry, Quie, your whole life is just a dream. 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:30.000 Or more recently, Leonora Osgood in the Netflix series Ratchet, 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:34.680 I can't rest until I know he's dead. In reality, though, 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:38.440 believe it or not, Sharon Stone is pretty shy and introverted, 0:00:38.880 --> 0:00:41.760 and despite her fame, has led a very private life. 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.360 But now she's in the midst of a very public 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:49.720 and personal re examination of that life in her memoir 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:54.800 The Beauty of Living Twice. When it came down to it, 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:58.480 I just thought I could write twenty different memoirs. But 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:03.080 what what I really need to figure out here? And 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:06.000 what I felt I needed to figure out first in 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:12.160 my twenty memoir possibility was who am I? If I'm 0:01:12.160 --> 0:01:14.280 going to write about my life, the first thing I 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.520 need to know is who am I? And I felt like, 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:19.480 there was a certain point in my life when I 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:24.560 felt very kicked, kicked off, kicked down, beaten down, broken, 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:28.000 and I needed to know how did I get there 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:32.480 so that I don't do that some more? And what 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:35.320 is it that that led me to that part of 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.240 my journey? I want to understand, you know, what is 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:41.360 it that breaks me? What is it that that leads 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:44.360 me in this direction? And it all it is never 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:46.520 the thing that really breaks you in the end. That's 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:50.840 the straw, that's not that's not the load. And so 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:53.720 I just wanted to go back and see what started 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:57.520 to build that for me, what made that who I was, 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:01.440 and what made me vulnerable to ache there? And so 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:06.400 I went back and looked at my journey. It's remarkable 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:09.400 actually how heavy a low chair and carried at times 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.640 in her life, from being molested as a child to 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:16.400 the sexual harassment she endured in Hollywood to the stroke 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:19.760 that nearly killed her back in two thousand one. I 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:23.200 actually interviewed her about that experience while I was at NBC. 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:27.000 We spoke at our home in San Francisco. When it 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:28.959 hit me, I felt like I had been shot in 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:32.160 the head. That's the only way I can really describe it. 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:34.360 It hit me so hard it knocked me over on 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:40.000 the sofa. In Today's conversation nearly twenty years later, Sharon 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:43.240 and I dive right in and talk about the process 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:46.840 of capturing her life on the page. For Sharon, the 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:50.600 writing of this book actually happened, and the quietude of 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:54.800 the night, the kids are in bed, and everybody's TV 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:58.880 is off and all those electric waves aren't so strong, 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:01.440 and the TV, the phones not ringing, and all that 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:04.600 stuff is quiet, and I sit down and I just 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:08.520 kind of wait for it to start happening. And you know, 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:11.760 sometimes it's great, and sometimes I feel like my guts 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:15.160 are inside out and I just do what I can do. 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:19.480 And sometimes I write two pages and sometimes I write 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:22.840 for hours, you know, And sometimes most of it's good, 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.360 and sometimes some of it's not so great, and I 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:28.920 get like a couple of paragraphs out of it. But 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:32.440 I feel like it's that's my way. I mean, some 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:34.400 people get up and they write from like seven to 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:38.600 three every day, and I admire that, but you know, 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:42.040 that's not what happens to me. I don't have that thing. 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:44.400 I don't have That's not how it works for me. 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:47.400 I have days where it's like I need to paint today, 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:50.040 Like you really have to like get out of my hair, 0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:53.560 Like I have to paint today, you know, and I 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:56.560 wander around with the paintbrush in my teeth. So you 0:03:56.640 --> 0:04:01.760 obviously have this just this huge well of creativity that 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:05.320 that you have been mining in recent years, you know, 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:08.840 with your painting, with your writing of short stories, with 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:13.400 your writing of this memoir. And you know, those are 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:17.040 all very different pursuits. But when it came to the memoir, 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:21.240 you would you would probably expect, or readers might express 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:26.560 expect that the the person behind the memoir reached some 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:32.200 level of self actualization or self awareness. And I'm curious, 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:34.960 what did you learn about yourself when you were done 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:39.080 with this? Did you did you see your own persona 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:44.520 and your own you know, human being with with more clarity? 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:49.760 Oh yeah, I mean I think really the biggest day 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:51.719 of change was the day I read the book for 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:58.000 the audible book. Yeah, yeah, reading sitting here. Interestingly enough, 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:02.919 the director turned doubt to look like a doppelganger of 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:07.280 my best friend. And that was kind of, first of all, 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:11.040 kind of stunning. When she appeared on the zoom and 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:12.960 I said, wait a second, you have to see this 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:15.240 picture of my best friend. You're not going to believe it. 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.919 And then I put the picture of my best friend 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:21.200 in front of me, and I read the book to 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:26.320 my best friend. And I just sat here alone in 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:30.279 my room reading this book out loud to my friend. 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.640 And it pulled it all together to me in a 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:38.200 new way, like the completion of it and the reading 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:43.560 it out loud in this very quiet space. It put 0:05:43.600 --> 0:05:46.120 it into perspective for me in a new way. And 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.640 it really did change my life. And it really made 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:52.680 me see everybody around me with a different kind of clarity. 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:56.719 And what about how how you saw yourself? I think 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:02.200 it made me really own myself out loud. It gave 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:07.520 me the confidence to say, this is who I really am, 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:11.120 and you can't define me as something else anymore. I'm 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:16.360 not going to allow that to happen anymore. And my 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:25.560 boundaries and my confidence about myself changed so dramatically that Um, 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:30.839 I changed my life, super dramatically, Like I've fired a 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:36.240 lot of people around me. People around me fired me. Um, 0:06:36.279 --> 0:06:41.120 my life changed. Really, it's changing. It's changing as we speak. 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.800 My life is changing a lot. Do you feel like 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:48.320 you're shedding a skin in a way, I feel like 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:52.200 I'm a caterpillar that turned into a butterfly almost, you know, 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:56.320 not like I'm shedding a skin exactly as like I'm 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:03.000 I'm almost free of a shell that was like crushing 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:05.480 me that like I couldn't get out, Like I felt 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:09.080 like I was trapped and I couldn't get out like 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:16.960 this whole other um oppressive construct of like no, this 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:19.520 is who you are and who you're gonna be. I 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:23.119 got it off me. It's like, no, it's not gonna 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:25.920 keep going on. I'm not doing that. I'm not being that. 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:28.800 You can't make me be that another step I'm not. 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:32.520 It's off me. Now, it's off me. It's off me 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:36.840 out loud, It's just off me, Like and get off me, 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:41.040 Like no, I'm no. The answer to that is a 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:44.280 giant no and get off me. And anybody who wants 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:49.000 to insist on that you're done? Who puts that constrictive 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:54.240 shell on you? Is it? Is it expectations placed on women? 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:58.520 Is it? Hollywood? Is it a way that you are 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.720 seeing as a BEAUTI full woman? I mean, what what 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:08.600 kind of came together to produce that very restrictive really 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:13.840 typecasting or shell or expectations that you were really kind 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:20.640 of suffocating under. Um, that's a big question, Katie. You know, 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:27.920 it's a lot of misogyny. It's people who abusive people 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:41.400 abuse abuse, it's abuse, it's misogyny, it's intentional, uh, misrepresentative behavior. Um, 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:48.040 it's let me just say that, if you're a trauma 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:55.439 survivor and you're hiding anything like I was, people can 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:59.080 be abusers can smell that like a truffle pig can 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:03.480 smell a truffle. They just can't And I don't know 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:10.080 how that works. And if you are are have been 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:15.840 abused by addicts, addicts can smell that like a truffle 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:20.320 pig can smell a truffle. So I would say I 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:23.480 have really made huge efforts not to be codependent. But 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:29.480 if you have been abused by addicts, then you know, 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:35.199 get the tow alanon, get the to a program where 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.720 you can get help with that, because um, you're a 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:45.040 target for that. So UM, I had to get myself 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:49.160 to some help. I had to get myself to Alanan 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:54.760 and I had to get some actual help with how 0:09:54.840 --> 0:10:03.240 to detach from abuse, to really get it off me. Um. 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:09.240 And it's been an amazing Uh. It actually makes my 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:14.240 head hurt to address this, but let's say that's what 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:16.720 my head hurt to start with. That's what my head 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:21.560 how my head began to hurt to begin with. Um, 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:29.640 it's been a really um, a giant setting down of boundaries. 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:37.800 Just my boundaries are. I love my boundaries, and my 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:41.679 boundaries love me. Did you not always have them? I mean, 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:46.600 is this bard in Heaven? I mean, I think the 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:49.440 whole world is probably aware of how much I didn't 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:53.600 have boundaries. I think the whole world has seen really clearly, 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:58.240 with their own two little eyes, how much I was 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:02.560 abused for not having boundaries. I think the whole world 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:08.680 has experienced Sharon Stones abuse and lack of boundaries. I 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:12.559 think we all are really clear that I have been 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:16.320 abused for lack of boundaries. I think the whole world 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:22.120 is really understanding that I have been manipulated by lack 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:27.839 of boundaries, and understanding that I can actually say, get 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:33.000 the fuck off me. My answer is no, and no 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:38.280 actually means and oh back it up. I think that 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:42.439 the whole world has seen the tire treads across my face, 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:50.000 and yes, I am learning very well the meaning spelling 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:55.760 and definition of the word boundaries. When we come back, 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.560 what shocked sharing the most about putting her story out 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:10.840 in the world. That's right after this. You write so 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:18.160 much about trauma and was that in and of itself traumatizing? Yeah, 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.439 and it continues to be. I mean, the studio has 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:25.679 decided to release a director's cut of Basic Instinct with 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:34.240 no permission, discussion, or financial renumeration for me of of 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:37.400 a director's cut of Basic Instinct. As the thirty years 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:44.040 celebration of the film, um talk about boundaries, talk about 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:51.920 a lack of acknowledgement of the female perspective in two 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:55.640 whenever they're thinking of doing it, Um talk about no 0:12:55.840 --> 0:13:05.200 understanding of me too and me me Sharon Stone too. Um. Yeah, like, hello, 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:10.680 the world never stops trying to drive up women's brains 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:15.680 and park there without a parking mass And did you 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:21.160 express your disappointment or outrage to the fact that that 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:26.120 was being done without any consultation. My lawyer has spoken 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:29.800 to Sag and we're expressing it. But you know, when 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:32.880 you're a young girl and you get your first film, 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.839 this is not what you anticipate they're going to be doing. 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:39.400 Thirty years later, when you get your first big break 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.319 in Hollywood. But you know, there's so many people. I mean, 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:47.240 let's face it, the man who invented the microwave got 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:53.000 two bucks. This is not a new story. You write 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:56.160 a lot about your mom, and I'm curious if you 0:13:56.320 --> 0:14:01.560 reached a deeper understanding about her through the process of 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:07.840 writing this book, because I know that that that she 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:12.480 reveals the abew she experienced as a young girl to you, 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:16.240 and and and you know, I think an interesting thing 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:19.800 about looking back at your life, you can you can 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:23.520 have a different vantage point of the people around you 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:28.800 and the people that you love or we're loved by. 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.880 How did this book change your relationship with your mom 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:39.520 or your understanding of it? I mean, understanding something doesn't 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:46.280 make it acceptable, and understanding doesn't fix it. Understanding does 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:51.880 it make my mom okay? Now, understanding does it make her? 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:58.720 Understanding doesn't go back and change her whole life. And 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:04.080 understanding isn't going to change what she values or how 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:13.520 she's coped, or it has tempered some of her behavior. 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:19.640 It is tempered the things that she puts forth as 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:27.800 the good foot, But it hasn't it hasn't changed everything 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:33.480 she thinks about secrets and lies and everything about what 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:37.400 she finds as a comfort zone. You know, my mother, 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:44.320 my mother still feels a little bit more comfort in 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:48.840 in a certain degree of danger and a certain degree 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:58.920 of discomfort and a certain degree of not having. You know, 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:07.200 love and hugs and appreciation and cuddles and extra care 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:12.160 aren't her number one comfort zone. You know. That can 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.680 creep my mother out. That can make my mother run. 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:23.560 You know, too much love, too much, um acceptance, too much, 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:28.640 too much transparency is too much for my mom. You know. 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:34.080 Writing this book and coming fully into transparency is for 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:38.840 me like like the greatest thing that ever happened. Like 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:42.640 I'm enjoying it more than I could ever possibly have imagined. 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:47.360 It's for me, like you know, apple strutle and ice cream. 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.520 It's like, oh my god, I didn't know that people 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.680 were going to be nice to me after I wrote 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:59.240 this book. That's such a really big thing. But I 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:02.040 hadn't as a hated What did you think they were 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:06.840 going to think or be like to you? Well, people 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:13.040 haven't always been traditionally particularly nice to me. Traditionally people 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.919 have always been rather cool to me, you know, with 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:21.639 the exception of people that I really know intimately, people 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:26.480 have always been quite cool and rather you know, observing 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:31.520 of me as opposed to being warm and embracing of me. 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:39.200 This is quite new, and it's so wonderful and so 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:43.520 so absolutely thrilling. Why do you think they weren't nice 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:47.760 to you? I think people were afraid of me. I 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:49.959 don't think. I don't think people understood me. And I 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:55.800 think that in my business people were using that as 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:59.040 that way to pretend that I was different than I 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:04.400 am and or is my friends know how I am, 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:07.399 and you know call me and say, you know, I 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:11.359 can't believe you did this because you're so shy. How 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:15.440 are you coping because you're so paralytically shy. I can't 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:22.960 believe that you actually did this. And Um, for my mom, 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:29.840 I don't think that she's allowing herself the warmth and 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:33.040 the love that she could have. She did a little 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:38.399 at first when we first started discussing all this. While 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:42.119 I was writing the book. She actually went to my 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:46.320 kids school for grandparents Day for the first time, and 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:51.240 when the kids asked her about her childhood, she told 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:54.119 her childhood that she grew up in someone else's house, 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:59.200 that she was the housekeeper, that she didn't have her 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:02.919 own family and the kid. You know that everybody stood 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.920 up and cheered her and said she was such a 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:10.879 hero and she had never experienced herself in that way, 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:16.960 and she was so proud and so like open, and 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:20.760 that she could experience herself as a survivor not as 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:26.640 a secret victim was enormous for her and it changed 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:33.240 her a lot. But I don't know that she understands 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:38.359 fully that she can do that, that she doesn't have 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:42.879 to be a secret, and that she doesn't have to 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:46.960 stay in the shadow like a mushroom. You know, she's 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:51.560 still so scared, and so I understand her, but she's 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:56.960 still running in her fear. And my family is still 0:19:57.160 --> 0:20:00.320 a lot in their fear and in the kind of 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:08.800 behavior that fear creates, and um and a lot of 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:13.440 that fear is very antisocial. We'll take a short break, 0:20:13.480 --> 0:20:17.040 but when we come back, a newly exposed Sharon Stone 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:31.920 finally feel seen. You talk about people being afraid of you, 0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:37.600 and and I'm wondering if it's because of what you 0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:42.560 write about your aunt and namesake aunt von You say 0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:46.200 there is such a prejudice against real beauty, especially when 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:49.119 it comes with real intelligence like it did with my aunt. 0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:54.040 Do you think that. I mean, you're a very beautiful woman, 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:58.800 and and you know, Candice Bergen talked about the burdens 0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:03.159 of that with her down Yeah. I love that she 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:06.000 like ate a whole pumpkin pie and just ate the 0:21:06.560 --> 0:21:09.399 stood in her kitchen, just ate the insides of a 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:14.520 punkin pie, the whole thing. Um. But but but I 0:21:14.600 --> 0:21:18.199 do sort of wonder if if you could relate to 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:21.360 to what it was like to be a young Candice 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:28.199 Bergen um where people have these expectations and really don't 0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:31.960 see you as a full person, but see you unfortunately, 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:36.920 I mean as just see your beauty and that is it. Well, 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:41.040 you know, Canadas and I are friends. And she was 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:43.639 at my house and I have a screening room in 0:21:43.640 --> 0:21:48.760 the basement and she we were downstairs and we're going 0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:50.959 to put on a movie and first you put on 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:53.520 the TV on the big screen, and of course it 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:57.119 came up with an old movie that she was in 0:21:57.160 --> 0:22:00.159 which she was young and she looked so gorgeous. I 0:22:00.200 --> 0:22:03.320 was like, WHOA, look at you, and she was like 0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:10.159 making jokes about herself and yes, I see, you know, 0:22:10.840 --> 0:22:14.399 and in her case it introverted her a lot too. 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:20.920 It really introverted her too, you know, because she had 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:24.439 made a lot of fun of herself and became a comedian. 0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:28.960 Because when she first tried to act, everyone really attacked her. 0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:34.560 I remember an interview or a review from and I 0:22:34.640 --> 0:22:37.680 forget her name, the biggest interviewer in New York, who 0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:40.480 wrote that Candice Bergen ran the emotional gamut from A 0:22:40.560 --> 0:22:44.560 to B. Right. I remember that they wrote the most 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:48.840 horrible stuff about her that they would never say about 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:55.040 another actress. They would never be that, you know, stringently 0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:04.560 intensively attacking and and and sarcastically attacking of an actress, 0:23:05.200 --> 0:23:07.560 you know. And I remember a review that I got 0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:10.000 that I was like a fine chardonnay. I would have 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:13.840 the shelf life of a fine chardonnay. And I remember 0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:16.240 writing back to the reviewer and saying, you're not much 0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:21.439 of a wine connoisseur, you know, like, get ready, buddy, 0:23:22.720 --> 0:23:26.159 I'm a fine bordeaux. Buckle up, um, Like you just 0:23:26.280 --> 0:23:29.960 don't you don't get it, like you just you're you're 0:23:29.960 --> 0:23:35.040 really you know, you don't know what's happening. Sorry, um. 0:23:35.080 --> 0:23:38.280 And I don't normally respond to critics, but I remember thinking, 0:23:38.359 --> 0:23:40.440 you're just trying to make a cheap shot about me. 0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:43.280 You're not trying to review what I did. You're just 0:23:43.359 --> 0:23:47.239 trying to be an asshole. Um. Yes, I think that 0:23:47.320 --> 0:23:50.640 people really do like to be They like to think 0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:55.359 that you're the You're the You're the end of their witticism. 0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:59.720 You're they're going to use you as you know, target practice. 0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:05.440 It's yeah, it's awful. It's clear that writing has sort 0:24:05.480 --> 0:24:11.440 of made you feel whole well, and and the reception 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:15.399 to this book has made you feel seen. What it 0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:19.320 makes me is that I have, for five seconds, the 0:24:19.400 --> 0:24:23.560 control of the narrative about me. Like, no, I don't 0:24:23.600 --> 0:24:26.840 own house in Australia, I don't own a house in 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:30.000 New Zealand. I don't own one in Middle America. I'm 0:24:30.000 --> 0:24:33.480 not dating Jared Letto, who I've never met. I don't 0:24:33.600 --> 0:24:36.719 you know. It's like all these stories you make up 0:24:36.760 --> 0:24:40.800 about me, It's like, guess what, none of that is 0:24:41.040 --> 0:24:44.280 my story. Like for five minutes, I get to actually 0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:48.040 tell you something that's true about me. And that not 0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:52.120 only that, but I'm just so struck by how emotional 0:24:52.240 --> 0:24:56.119 you got, that that people are seeing the real you 0:24:57.080 --> 0:25:00.919 and they're liking the real you, and they are caring 0:25:01.000 --> 0:25:04.480 about the real you, which you haven't felt in a 0:25:04.600 --> 0:25:07.640 very long time. Well, when people are on the roof 0:25:07.720 --> 0:25:11.120 of your car and ripping the bumper off, and ripping 0:25:11.200 --> 0:25:15.080 the rear view mirror off, and ripping your clothes off 0:25:15.119 --> 0:25:18.679 your body and then making up fake stories about you, 0:25:18.680 --> 0:25:25.520 you don't really feel cared for. You're talking about the paparazzi, 0:25:25.880 --> 0:25:30.720 paparazzi fans. You know, the response to me has been 0:25:30.840 --> 0:25:35.840 quite aggressive. It hasn't been like that we like you 0:25:36.040 --> 0:25:39.119 kind of response. It's been the like we want it, 0:25:39.359 --> 0:25:44.680 like devour you response, or that we have like all 0:25:44.720 --> 0:25:48.879 these really strong opinions about you, but not that we 0:25:49.119 --> 0:25:52.359 see you, or we know you, or we'd like to 0:25:52.400 --> 0:25:55.480 have you over for a grilled cheese. Do you think 0:25:55.520 --> 0:25:58.159 that's because of some of the roles that you've had 0:25:58.200 --> 0:26:03.479 that people p pull blur the characters you've played with 0:26:03.560 --> 0:26:07.520 the person you are. And I have to say I 0:26:07.560 --> 0:26:11.560 can take responsibility for some of that too, because after 0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:16.119 I did Basic Instinct, you know, I talked with Cindy Berger, 0:26:16.160 --> 0:26:18.720 my publicist, about like She's like, well, now you're going 0:26:18.760 --> 0:26:20.439 to have to decide how you're going to be in 0:26:20.520 --> 0:26:23.520 public and I was like, well, I don't know what 0:26:23.560 --> 0:26:27.520 that means. And she's like, well, like when you do interviews, 0:26:27.600 --> 0:26:31.160 you're gonna have to decide how you're gonna be. And 0:26:31.200 --> 0:26:34.120 I was like, well, what do you mean And she's like, well, 0:26:34.160 --> 0:26:38.840 you know you're very shy and you know you stay 0:26:38.840 --> 0:26:41.199 home and read books. Like what are you gonna do 0:26:41.480 --> 0:26:47.639 in your interviews now? And I thought, you know? And 0:26:47.680 --> 0:26:49.879 she said, well, you know, you're gonna have to have 0:26:49.920 --> 0:26:52.080 a public image because people are going to try to 0:26:52.119 --> 0:26:54.000 attack you, and they're going to try to find things 0:26:54.000 --> 0:26:55.640 that are wrong with you, and they're going to try 0:26:55.680 --> 0:26:58.480 to make you. They're gonna try to look for things 0:26:58.520 --> 0:27:00.680 that you do wrong so they can rip you up. 0:27:01.280 --> 0:27:03.320 You know, so if you make your public image a 0:27:03.359 --> 0:27:06.640 certain way, they'll be less able to trip you up 0:27:06.720 --> 0:27:10.520 because you'll have said I'm either more or wild than this, 0:27:10.720 --> 0:27:13.720 So it won't matter if you you know, make a 0:27:13.800 --> 0:27:16.800 mistake in public or you know, there were all this 0:27:16.880 --> 0:27:19.200 is when you were thirty two years old. We should 0:27:19.280 --> 0:27:23.720 remind people, right, And so I was like, oh, well, 0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:28.320 so like if I get caught kissing someone, then if 0:27:28.359 --> 0:27:31.040 I'm like this, then it won't be a scandal. And 0:27:31.520 --> 0:27:34.080 so there was all this because you have to remember 0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:37.880 this was a period. This is thirty one years ago, 0:27:38.480 --> 0:27:40.920 so this is a period when women on film were 0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:43.560 supposed to sit with their legs crossed at the ankles. 0:27:44.000 --> 0:27:47.000 When there was a bigger scandal when I did that 0:27:47.080 --> 0:27:50.600 scene that I was lifting my arms over my head 0:27:50.720 --> 0:27:54.000 and you could see my arm pits because you weren't 0:27:54.000 --> 0:27:59.280 supposed to show your naked arm pits. This was unfeminine 0:27:59.560 --> 0:28:02.239 that I was lifting my arms over my head and 0:28:02.359 --> 0:28:06.720 continually showing my naked armpits. You know, this was a 0:28:06.880 --> 0:28:09.520 very big can we do that? Because she keep showing 0:28:09.520 --> 0:28:13.119 her armpits. This is why I was so rattled that 0:28:13.200 --> 0:28:15.520 all of a sudden we'd seen up my skirt because 0:28:15.560 --> 0:28:19.000 we were like, you can't show your armpits. You know, 0:28:19.200 --> 0:28:20.800 little did I think they were going to see up 0:28:20.840 --> 0:28:23.719 my skirt because people were like, we can't see your armpits, 0:28:24.160 --> 0:28:28.159 and I was like, armpits. What's with the armpits? You know? 0:28:28.520 --> 0:28:30.320 Because we were still like you had to keep your 0:28:30.359 --> 0:28:33.000 knees together, you could, you were supposed to cross your 0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:36.119 legs at the ankle. There were a lot of throughout 0:28:36.200 --> 0:28:39.240 my career where we allowed you could cross your legs 0:28:39.320 --> 0:28:42.200 at the knee, but you couldn't put your ankle over 0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:45.960 your knee and cross your legs even in pants. This 0:28:46.080 --> 0:28:49.200 was like women couldn't sit like that in movies. You 0:28:49.240 --> 0:28:52.280 were There were all kinds of things as I was 0:28:52.320 --> 0:28:55.520 coming up as an actress that you could and couldn't 0:28:55.520 --> 0:29:00.840 do as a woman on film. So as things just 0:29:01.000 --> 0:29:04.160