1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,559 Speaker 1: Everyone that might be going through something, maybe a rocky 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: time in their marriage. Maybe they're thinking about some things. 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 1: Maybe they're they're wondering if maybe divorce is right for them. 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: I want you to just here, Here are these words 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:18,760 Speaker 1: that this breed would never wish this pain on her 6 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: worst enemy. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast, 7 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: Episode one nine seven. Thank you for being here. I 8 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 1: answer your questions. You send them to me Grangersmith podcast 9 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Make them about anything, it doesn't 10 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: matter the subject, and we'll kind of walk through it 11 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,239 Speaker 1: long form, like we're sitting in the truck. You got 12 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: a question for me, and I'm like, man, that's a 13 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: good question. Let's talk about it. Let's take a little 14 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: bit of time, and we're gonna jump right into this 15 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: first one here. Now these are, by the way, they're 16 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: out of order, they're random. I haven't read them. I 17 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,639 Speaker 1: don't have notes. We're just going for it, so you're 18 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: gonna hear these as I hear them for the first time. 19 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: First one, Subjecline says, divorce. Hey Granger, I appreciate your music, 20 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: love of God and your podcast. I enjoy listen to 21 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: them while I'm at work. To get to the point. 22 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: My husband and I are going through a divorce. I 23 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: feel like a failure. I have failed my husband, I've 24 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: failed God, I've failed my marriage. I've failed as a wife. 25 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: There was infidelity on both ends. I know it's the 26 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: right thing to do, but I've never felt so hurt before. 27 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: This feels like death. If I'm being honest, I don't 28 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: want this divorce, but he has made it so clear 29 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 1: that there is no going back. Papers have been signed. 30 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: I lost it when the notary walked up to me 31 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: to have them signed. I would never wish this pain 32 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: on my worst enemy. Being a Christian, it's so hard 33 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: to accept that I am at to that high divorce rate. 34 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: God bless Brie. All Right, Brie, thank you so much 35 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: for the email and for being vulnerable. And there's not 36 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: a question here. So interesting. It's very rare that I 37 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: get an email that's not a question. But I'm going 38 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: to use this actually for this podcast because I think 39 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: you not asking a question is just as powerful to 40 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,640 Speaker 1: tell your story out loud, to say it to anyone 41 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 1: that's listening, so that either it's a warning to them, 42 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,799 Speaker 1: or it's encouragement for them, or it's reassurance for them 43 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 1: either way, everyone listened to what she's saying. Imagine this moment, 44 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 1: Imagine this scenario playing out, and we could almost picture it. 45 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: Where she says, papers have been signed. I lost it 46 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: when the notary walked up to me to have them signed. 47 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: I would never wish this pain on my worst enemy. 48 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: I wish everyone could use that, everyone that might be 49 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: going through something, maybe a rocky time in their marriage. 50 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: Maybe they're thinking about some things. Maybe they're wondering if 51 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: maybe divorce is right for them. I want you to 52 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: just hear, hear these words that this breed would never 53 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: wish this pain on her worst enemy. I'm so sorry. 54 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: Next question, subject line says, I'm so frustrated with the 55 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: way you choose emails to read. Interesting says, last week 56 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: you read an email from a young woman whose mother 57 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: said terrible things to her, and she forgave her mother. 58 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: It was the perfect time to read my email, which 59 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: I was asking the same thing from the mother's point 60 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: of view. I've been waiting a long time for an 61 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: answer to my situation. The more time that passes, the 62 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: less likely it will be seen. Just saying last week 63 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: would have been perfect. Tricia okay, Tricia, I'm sorry. I don't. 64 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: I don't have a specific order that I read these 65 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: emails that come in random to me. I'm not screening them. 66 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not making subjects and going okay, now 67 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna look for mother and daughter and have the 68 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: daughter the daughter forgives the mother. I'm gonna look for 69 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: those kind of emails and read them. I don't, don't. 70 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: I don't have a plan. I'm sorry. There's I'm juggling 71 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,279 Speaker 1: a lot of things in my life, and I try 72 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: to do my best that I can through all of them. 73 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: But there's certain things that have to give with all 74 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: the things, all the different jobs that I juggle, preparing 75 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,559 Speaker 1: a lot for this podcasting, getting ready and not getting 76 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: all the emails in order. It's just not something I do. 77 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: It's not something that I have time to do, and 78 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 1: I don't think it's necessary. Podcast flows just fine without 79 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: me needing to screen the emails or worry about what 80 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say. So I'm just I think, okay. My 81 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: opinion is the appeal to me of this podcast is 82 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: you never know what you're gonna get. Like, I don't 83 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: cut it, I don't edit it. I just read it 84 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: and I answer it like you asked me point blank 85 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 1: in the cap of a truck a question, and I'm 86 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: gonna answer it right or wrong. I'm gonna stumble through it. 87 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: Sometimes I think that's the appeal to the podcast. I 88 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 1: don't plan it. So I'm so sorry that you're frustrated, 89 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: and I hope everything works out. Don't another point, maybe 90 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: don't don't wait for me to give you the answer 91 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: to move on with your life, all right, Like I'm 92 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: not the guy, I'm just I'm just a friend. Okay, 93 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:01,039 Speaker 1: next question sub decline tithing. Good afternoon. My name is Blake. 94 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: I'm twenty three years old. I've been a longtime fan 95 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 1: of your music in the podcast, just had a quick 96 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,720 Speaker 1: question regarding tithing. So I recently began tithing and gave 97 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: ten percent each month to each month to the church 98 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,599 Speaker 1: I attend. My question is this, is it okay to 99 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: give to other charitable causes, nonprofit organizations, individuals who need help, 100 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: et cetera. Or was tithing only meant to be given 101 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: to the church. I love giving to my church, but 102 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: I would also be able to love to give to 103 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: other charitable organizations, individuals on occasion if I can. I 104 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: really appreciate all the wisdom you give on the podcast 105 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: and would love to intend a live podcast show someday. 106 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 1: And he says, add Saint Louis to that tour. That's 107 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 1: cool live podcast tour. And Saint Louis, that sounds like 108 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: a good city to add it to, says Yee Blake. Blake, 109 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: appreciate the email, brother, Okay, a couple things. There's nothing 110 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 1: to in depth here. A couple of things to ten percent. 111 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: That's an Old Testament idea and it doesn't have to 112 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: correlate into modern day tithing. In fact, the New Testament 113 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 1: is going to say a little bit different. Is it 114 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: gonna say give generously, give cheerfully. Right, So give generously 115 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: and cheerfully and whatever you feel is right. You know, 116 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: if you're if you're in your Bible and you're you've 117 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: got a good prayer life, go at that point, go 118 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: with what your heart tells you to go because that's 119 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 1: probably a good desire. And it's great to give your church, 120 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: it's great to give to other charitable organizations. There's nothing 121 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: wrong with that. And there's to think any other way 122 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: would be legalistic about it, to be like, oh, you're 123 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: not a good Christian unless you give this amount to 124 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: this organization and not this one and only to the 125 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: church for this Like that's just not it's not a 126 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: healthy way to put that kind of those kind of parameters, 127 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: that kind of box around it would be unhealthy. Instead, 128 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: they about it more rationally, with love, with generosity, with cheerfulness. 129 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: Just think of it in terms of I'm gonna give 130 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: to my church because I I believe that my church 131 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: is a good steward of this money, and I believe 132 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: that it could do this, this and this, and I 133 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: believe in this this body, this local congregation that I 134 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: pour into and they pour into me, and we were 135 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: a family together in that way. Okay, So so I'm 136 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 1: gonna give to them because of that. But I'm not 137 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: because of an obligation that I have to, not because 138 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: I'm a bad person if I don't. And saying with 139 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: given a little bit over here and a little bit 140 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: over here, do it because because you're a good steward 141 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: of money that was given to you as a gift 142 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: as well. Nothing is ours, it's all. We're all stewards 143 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: of our of all the gifts here, So give and 144 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: give and give according to what your heart desires and 145 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: what you think is responsibly good for your community for 146 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: you to serve back to it. Okay, there's no scientific 147 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:11,199 Speaker 1: formula at all to this, even no ten percent. It's 148 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: a pretty good rule of thumb, right, it's a pretty 149 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: good guide. If you have no guide, that's a good guide. 150 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: We'll end with that. Next question, Sepucline says read on 151 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: podcast please says I'm a big I'm in a big 152 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: problem right now. I met this girl five years ago. 153 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: We became really close, and then we dated for only 154 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: about three months, and then things just ended. She said, 155 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: We're never getting back together, but we are only sixteen 156 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: and I still love her just the same. I don't 157 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: know what to do. I was thinking of just waiting 158 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: it out and seeing what the future holds. Buddy, it's 159 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: time to let it go. It's time to let it go. 160 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: She said, we're never getting back together. Take her word 161 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: for it. Anything more than that, you're stalking in your borderline, psycho. 162 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: Let her go. Next question subject line relationship trouble. Please help, 163 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: Hey grangeer like to stay anonymous here. I'm in a 164 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: training I am a in training youth preacher at my 165 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: local church. And there's a girl that is one of 166 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 1: a kind in my eyes. I believe in Jesus and 167 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 1: asked him if she is going to be a good 168 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: choice for me, because my center in a relationship is 169 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: God and all my signs I asked from God is 170 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: green flags. So I told my pastor above me about it, 171 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: and he said I should talk to her about my 172 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: signs I got from him. So then I told her 173 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 1: all about my signs I got. But then she does 174 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: not feel the same connection between us, but her actions 175 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 1: tell a different story. I have tried to move on, 176 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: but our paths keep crossing every time. I don't know 177 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,199 Speaker 1: what to do with my current situation and I'm in 178 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: on a breaking point. Please help, Any advice would be appreciated. 179 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:14,199 Speaker 1: Thank you for your music. I love it. Thank you Anonymous. Okay, Anonymous, 180 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with this last sentence you said, please help. 181 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 1: Any advice would be appreciated. Brother. I hope you're listening. 182 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: I hope you're listening. Let her go, Let her go. Yeah, 183 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: it's interesting, right, like you're saying, this is a little 184 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 1: bit psycho, buddy, This is a little bit psycho, Just 185 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 1: like the email right before it. I don't know how 186 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: old you are, but I'm assuming you're around a teenager, right, 187 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: maybe a little older. But it's a little bit scary 188 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 1: to be honest with you. Makes me a little uncomfortable 189 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: because this is what's going on. You say, First of all, 190 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: you know Jesus is gonna say this wicked generation that 191 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: asked for signs. Did you know that, ye, youth, pastor 192 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: and training, stop asking for signs. You have a book, 193 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 1: a Bible, that is the living, breathing word of God, 194 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: sharper than any two edged sword. That is your sign. 195 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:19,839 Speaker 1: It has been spoken, it has finished. Okay, don't look 196 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: for signs. Second, you asked God and he gave you 197 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: green lights. Huh. Okay. You told her about this and 198 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: she says she doesn't feel the same connection. That means 199 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,200 Speaker 1: that's not a green light, that's a red light. You 200 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 1: read it wrong. You're getting signs from the wrong thing. 201 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: That's a scary thing in itself. I'm gonna divide this 202 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 1: up into many scary things with this email. Remember that 203 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: old analogy. Maybe you don't. There's this old story that 204 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: people used to tell, and that said, there's a man 205 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: and he's on a desert island and He's stranded on 206 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: the desert island and he said, God, God, please help me, 207 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 1: Please help me. God, I'm stranded on this island. Had 208 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: a boat floats up to the island and he goes, ah, 209 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:20,160 Speaker 1: there's a boat, but I prayed that God would save me. Later, 210 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 1: a helicopter comes and they're like, hey, man, are you stranded. 211 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I'm stranded here, but don't worry. God's 212 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: gonna save me. And they're like, okay, by let me leave. 213 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 1: He died. The man dies, He starves to death, and 214 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: one day he faces judgment and he goes, God, where 215 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 1: were you? And God says, I sent you a boat 216 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 1: in helicopter. What's up? Man, that's what your story is? 217 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: Got it? You said, God, give me a sign and 218 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: she said no, I don't want a relationship. And you said, okay, 219 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 1: so I'm waiting for this sign from God. She said no, bro, 220 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 1: let her go. Let her go. The guys listen to me. 221 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,839 Speaker 1: Second email in a row. I'm a little frustrated. I'm 222 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 1: a little frustrated. I've got a daughter. I've got three sons, 223 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 1: but I've also I have a daughter and I love her, 224 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: and right now she's gonna turn twelve this year. Stop it, guys, 225 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: We're gonna have some serious conversations. If this happens to 226 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: my daughter and there's a guy that doesn't take no, 227 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: she doesn't want to be in a relationship, he doesn't 228 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: take that for an answer. God has nothing to do 229 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: with this at that point, right, God has spoken. You're 230 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: making this up. Maybe I'm hey, tough love, man. Maybe 231 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm going a little too far. Maybe I'm being a 232 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: little too tough on you. Maybe you're only nineteen and 233 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: this is your first relationship and I'm and I'm maybe 234 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: I'm going a little too tough. But listen, tough love. 235 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: I think tough love is better than me giving you 236 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: a softball. Okay, let's hit another one here, man, let's 237 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: hit another one. Subject line on this one says choosing 238 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: between music and home. Hey, Grandeur, First, I'd like to 239 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 1: say I'm a huge fan of yours, and I'm so 240 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: happy the Lord has called you on a mission to 241 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: serve and step away from music. I am a country singer, 242 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: songwriter and a new father. Lately, I've been battling with 243 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: the question of how can I be a good father 244 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: and a touring musician. I am not dating or married 245 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 1: to the mother of my child, so it makes things 246 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 1: a little difficult. Lately, I've had a great deal of 247 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: success with music, and I have a song that's almost 248 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: one million streams in less than six months, Glory to God. 249 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: I've been praying and seeking guidance on if I need 250 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: to step away from music, or if there's a better 251 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: way to present and to be present in my daughter's 252 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: life and on tour. The greatest gift God can give 253 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: a man, besides salvation, is to be a father. I 254 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 1: don't want to regret not being present for my daughter, 255 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: but I also have to I want to be I 256 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: don't want to regret not chasing my dreams when I 257 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 1: feel like I'm so close to achieving them. Thanks for 258 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: being such a good example for us musicians and fathers. 259 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: God bless your pal. Sequoia. All right, my man, let's 260 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: dive into this. I'm a little worked up, to be honest, 261 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: the last last couple of emails. You know, guy, I'm 262 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 1: a little worked up. Got a daughter, got a daughter 263 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: at home, right, and so tough love, Sequoia, tough love. Okay, 264 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: you know I love you. Gotta start out with that. 265 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: You know I love you. Right, Okay, let's dive into 266 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: your email. First thing, I'm gonna say, you say, I've 267 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 1: had a great deal of success with music, with a 268 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: song almost one million streams in less than six months, 269 00:16:52,480 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: success according to who, success in relation to what are you? 270 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 1: Are you trying to relate yourself to Justin Bieber because 271 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:11,680 Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, because she just got a billion in a week, right, 272 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: So I don't. My point is your dream is unattainable. 273 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,719 Speaker 1: You don't know what success is if you're measuring it 274 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: by streams. One million streams, that's nothing. If you want 275 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 1: to play you want to play Major League ball, that's nothing. 276 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: That's struggling. Six took you six months to get a 277 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: million stream that's struggling. They're never gonna get a record 278 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: deal on that coming, right, I'm that low of a stream, right, 279 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm messing with you here, and I'm half serious. 280 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,959 Speaker 1: Just to tell you, I want to put in perspective that, bro, 281 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: you're not gonna find this dream if you're looking for 282 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:56,400 Speaker 1: it in numbers and streams and and chart positions. You're 283 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 1: not gonna find it this way. Because it might seem 284 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 1: like cess now, but five years from now, if you're 285 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 1: still doing that. You're spinning your wheels doing nothing. I'm 286 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: trying to help with that perspective. Second thing I'm wan 287 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: to dig on a little bit is man, anyone that 288 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 1: emailed me today, I'm sorry because I'm in a mood. Okay. 289 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: The second thing I want to dig on is this 290 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: last paragraph. The greatest gift God can give a man 291 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: besides salvation is to be a father. That's not biblical 292 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 1: at all. That's not in the Bible. You heard that 293 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: somewhere you you either. I don't think you made it up. 294 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 1: You just heard it. It's like, sounds nice, but that's 295 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: not biblical at all. The greatest gift God could give 296 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: first of all, the greatest wouldn't be salvation, and the 297 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:53,400 Speaker 1: second surely wouldn't be to be a father. If you're 298 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 1: going to start ranking gifts, well, first and foremost, it 299 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: would be in the presence to know and be in 300 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: the presence of the Glory of God, Creator, Father, Almighty, right, 301 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: to be in the presence of Jesus Christ, to absorb 302 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,199 Speaker 1: the Almighty, the Alpha and the Omega, the King of Kings, 303 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: the Lord of lords, to be in his presence. That 304 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,959 Speaker 1: would be enough. Okay, like, that's first, and then we're 305 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: gonna go wait on the list. And you know what's 306 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:29,640 Speaker 1: way higher than being a father, being a faithful husband? 307 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: What happened to that? Where's that, buddy? That's ahead of 308 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: being a father? And you have you're not with the girl, 309 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 1: you're not dating or married to the mother of your child. 310 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: And you say it makes things a little difficult. Of 311 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,119 Speaker 1: course it does. What are you doing? You're chasing a 312 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,159 Speaker 1: music dream. You're trying to get a million streams for what? 313 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: Who cares? What are you gonna get out? You don't 314 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: get paid from that. Spotify doesn't pay you that much 315 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: money for this. You're you gonna make a few bucks? 316 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 1: What are you doing? You you're not with the girl, 317 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 1: You're not with Are you with another girl? Maybe? Are 318 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 1: you out? Are you not in the same city? You're 319 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:22,360 Speaker 1: touring away from your child that you already left the mom, right, 320 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 1: that's an irresponsibility to leave the mother with the child. 321 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 1: And you're gonna go out on tour to chase a 322 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:35,200 Speaker 1: dream that we've already established to have success in is unattainable. 323 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 1: M brother, are you feeling me? You're feeling me here? 324 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: You know who you emailed, right like you emailed the 325 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:50,640 Speaker 1: guy that's giving it up because he is realized it's 326 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 1: a rat race. You're spinning your wheels. There is nothing 327 00:20:54,880 --> 00:21:01,120 Speaker 1: you can grab onto. It's a vapor. It's a mist. 328 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:11,959 Speaker 1: Only things done for Christ matter. You have left a child, 329 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: you've gone on tour, you've left the baby mama. You 330 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:20,240 Speaker 1: have no intention of reconciling that at all. That's a problem. 331 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 1: You've misidentified gifts from God. That's a problem. You've been 332 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 1: praying and seeking guidance. Here I am here, I am 333 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: brother tough love. I wouldn't be this tough on you 334 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: if I didn't understand where you're coming from. If I 335 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,440 Speaker 1: couldn't sympathize with you, I wouldn't be this tough. I 336 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: would say, wow, I don't know how that feels, but 337 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 1: I do. That's why I could say, wake up, do 338 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: the right thing you did for the child. I let 339 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:02,600 Speaker 1: take a break here back. If you want to get 340 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: a hold of me for any reason, get a video 341 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 1: message from me and send it to someone else, maybe 342 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 1: as a gift, maybe to someone that has everything. What 343 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 1: do you get them for their birthday or anniversary? Well, 344 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: you can get them a cameo for me that's super 345 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: simple at cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, or you 346 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: can download the Cameo app and search for me Granger Smith, 347 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: and I will make a video a selfie video on 348 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,160 Speaker 1: my phone according to what you want me to say 349 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,399 Speaker 1: to who you want me to say it to. So 350 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: this is like happy birthday, or happy anniversary, or Merry 351 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 1: Christmas or whatever it might be. Maybe just a word 352 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 1: of encouragement. It could be also to you. I could 353 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 1: send the message to you. But I use cameo all 354 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,160 Speaker 1: the time and it has been a very good tool 355 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 1: for me to keep in touch with you guys over 356 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: the last four years that I've been using it. And 357 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,600 Speaker 1: sitting here as I record this, we're only a couple 358 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:02,359 Speaker 1: weeks away from the release of my book Like a River. Now, 359 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,760 Speaker 1: as a podcast listener, I hope that you are on 360 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: another level from just the average listener, the average fan, 361 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 1: because you have my heart on this podcast and if 362 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,360 Speaker 1: you listened this far in to hear what I'm saying now, 363 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,640 Speaker 1: that means you are invested in what I'm doing, and 364 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 1: I appreciate that so much. What you could do to 365 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,480 Speaker 1: help me with Like a River is, first of all, 366 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,800 Speaker 1: pre order that book, and I hope you know that 367 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 1: it's coming out on audio version, it's coming out on 368 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 1: digital version, it's coming out on hardback. And to be 369 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,880 Speaker 1: able to review it on whatever website, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, 370 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,680 Speaker 1: wherever you get it, Walmart dot com. To be able 371 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 1: to review it really helps that book because my goal 372 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: is to get it into as many hands as possible, 373 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: especially the people that need to read the message inside 374 00:23:55,920 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 1: of it, someone that's hurting, going through grief or heartbreaks, stuck, 375 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 1: they're lost. I want this book to be a beacon, 376 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,400 Speaker 1: a light at the end of the tunnel that someone 377 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 1: could see there is purpose on the other side of 378 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: this suffering of this pain. Again, the book is called 379 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 1: like a River. It comes out August first, and you 380 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: could help me by reviewing it or pre ordering it, 381 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: and especially word of mouth on social media and telling 382 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 1: your friends all about this book. Back to the podcast, 383 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 1: all right, Obviously I released these every single Monday morning, 384 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 1: and obviously I pre record them, so it is currently 385 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 1: eleven fifty three PM while I'm recording this, and maybe 386 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,919 Speaker 1: there's a correlation. I do better recording these in the morning, 387 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,719 Speaker 1: and I have less patience because I've been dealing with 388 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 1: life during the day, I have a little bit less patience. 389 00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 1: Maybe that's a lesson for me. Be careful with the podcast. 390 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 1: If you're answering at night, you might be a little 391 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 1: more frisky. That's what I'm telling That's the advice I'm 392 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 1: giving myself if I'm sitting in a truck driving down 393 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:14,640 Speaker 1: the road. Right, let's got another question here, subdecline says 394 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 1: X relationship question. Hey grangeer, my name is Zach and 395 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 1: I've been going through a really tough time recently regarding 396 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,439 Speaker 1: one of my exes. So, first off, little backstory. My 397 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 1: girlfriend and I were both seventeen and we both felt 398 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,400 Speaker 1: that we were meant to be together, but her parents 399 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 1: didn't like me, even though I was always respectful to 400 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 1: her and her family. So nine months into our relationship, 401 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: her parents made us break up and never gave us 402 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 1: a reason why. Flash forward to now we're enlisted, where 403 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 1: I'm enlisted in the military, and I hear that she 404 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 1: is in a new relationship with a guy that all 405 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,439 Speaker 1: my friends says is toxic and bad for her, and 406 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: they say I'm lucky to have gotten away from her. 407 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 1: My question is, even though we haven't been together in years. 408 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 1: I feel like I need to say something to her 409 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 1: to remind her of her worth, but I don't know 410 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 1: if it's more for her or me, If that makes 411 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 1: any sense. Your podcast has helped me through a lot 412 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: of hard times, and I would love to hear your thoughts. 413 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 1: Thank you, Zach, Zach, thank you for the email. Thank 414 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 1: you for your service enlisting in the military. I don't 415 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 1: want to take a lot of time on this because 416 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:35,119 Speaker 1: it's to me, it's very clear. If you and I 417 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:39,400 Speaker 1: are sitting together around a campfire, i'd say, lay off 418 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: the girl, don't message her, don't email her, don't call 419 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:48,120 Speaker 1: her to answer your question. Yes, it's about you. It's 420 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 1: about you needing closure. That's why you feel like you 421 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: need a message. You have this feeling like, oh, I 422 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,440 Speaker 1: want a savor. I want a savor from this guy. 423 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: I hear this guy's toxic. So I want to give 424 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 1: her a warning, as if she would take your advice, 425 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 1: or as if she hasn't heard anyone else tell her 426 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,359 Speaker 1: that before, or as if she still cares what you 427 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 1: would say in that situation. She's gone. It's only you 428 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 1: looking for closure. You will find the closure better if 429 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 1: you stop following her. On social media. If you stop 430 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 1: asking your friends about her, you just slowly start piling 431 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,680 Speaker 1: up stuff so you don't see her anymore, and as 432 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 1: time goes on slowly, you'll forget, you'll move on. We'll 433 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: say it that way, Okay, that's your only option reaching 434 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 1: out to her to say your current boyfriend is toxic 435 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: is toxic in itself. Next question here, subject Clie says, 436 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:58,120 Speaker 1: is it worth it? Hey Grangeer, there's a girl? Man? 437 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,919 Speaker 1: How many times of that? How many times have I got 438 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: an email that says that, Ay Grangeured, there's a girl 439 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: that I was talking to this last year. There was 440 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,160 Speaker 1: everything and I was looking that I was looking for. 441 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 1: She told me she wasn't ready and we ended things 442 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,919 Speaker 1: very roughly. It didn't speak for six months. Fast forward 443 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,119 Speaker 1: almost a year and we start talking again, but yet again, 444 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: she says she has some things to work on and 445 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: isn't ready. She says she doesn't she wants to be friends, 446 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,000 Speaker 1: but I know I'll continue having feelings for her if 447 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: I stay friends with her. Should I stick around or 448 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 1: wait for her? Because she's one of a few close 449 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 1: friends I have left. The question comes from Jared. Jared 450 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 1: almost identical answer. I would give to the last question 451 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: that I would give to you. This is not going 452 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 1: to work. She's been very clear in relationships. It's so interesting, 453 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 1: especially from the outside looking in, when I get these emails, 454 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 1: it's interesting that we don't take the person's word for it. 455 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 1: It's like say, I don't like you, I want to 456 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 1: be friends, I don't think of us in a romantic way, 457 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 1: and we think in the relationship, we think, what does 458 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 1: she really mean, because surely it's not that it's like man, 459 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 1: take her for her word. She said no. Guys, if 460 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 1: they say no, if they say that they want to 461 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 1: be friends, they don't want a romantic relationship. No means no. 462 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 1: Get away. That's it. If it's too hard for you 463 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 1: at that point, if it's too hard to reconcile, block 464 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: her on everything, including her number, and if you want 465 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 1: to feel better about it, give her a text right 466 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 1: before you block her and say, hey, just want to 467 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,880 Speaker 1: let you know this is not personal. I'm trying to 468 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: get better. I'm trying to get over you because I 469 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,959 Speaker 1: really liked you, so this is don't take offense to this, 470 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 1: but I'm just about to block you on all socials 471 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 1: and block your phone number. Just letting you know. Okay, 472 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: thank you your friend, goodbye, and then you go in 473 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 1: and you block. That's it. If it makes you feel ter, 474 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,080 Speaker 1: do that. If it doesn't, you don't even have to 475 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: give an explanation. That is a true path to healing. 476 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: Separation from them, out of sight, out of mind. Let 477 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: some time go by your heart will heal. You'll find 478 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: someone new subject line The next one says remorse for 479 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,560 Speaker 1: sexual sins Hey Granger, thank you for taking the time 480 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 1: to read this email. Please keep me anonymous. I am 481 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: a young lady. Uh I read that wrong. I am 482 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,920 Speaker 1: young and lately, me and my boyfriend of about a 483 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 1: year and a half, both Christians and first relationship have 484 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:50,320 Speaker 1: been getting closer and closer physically and it's hard to stop. 485 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,479 Speaker 1: Though we didn't go all the way, the things we 486 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 1: did are not sitting right with us, and remorse is heavy. 487 00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,840 Speaker 1: I know we should be living our relationship the way 488 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: God once Any advice on how to live our relationship 489 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 1: in a way that honors God? Once again, please keep 490 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 1: me anonymous. And I love your podcast. Keep up the 491 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: good work. Okay, great, thank you for the question anonymous. 492 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: And I'm looking no age here. That's no age I'm 493 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 1: assuming young. You said, first relationship, I'm assuming pretty young. Okay, 494 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: so this is one of these questions that without more facts, 495 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 1: it's hard to spitball here. But I'm gonna tell you 496 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 1: what I think. Thanks for your vulnerability, Your heart is 497 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: in the right place. You're asking the right questions. It's 498 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 1: very important just to want to ask this kind of question. 499 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 1: It is good. That's a good thing, especially you're kind 500 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,960 Speaker 1: of mentioning. Both of you are kind of saying this right. 501 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 1: It's not sitting right with us. You said, it's not 502 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 1: sitting right with us. I like that. That's cool. I 503 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: like that. It's really good. A bit of a warning, 504 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 1: you said, we've been getting closer and closer physically, and 505 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 1: it's hard to stop. Though we didn't go all the way. Okay, 506 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: we'll just take that little piece right there, And I 507 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 1: just want to tell you that getting closer and closer 508 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 1: thing that will not stop if you allow it to 509 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:28,400 Speaker 1: go that direction. It's it's not going to get easier 510 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 1: and easier when you're getting closer and closer, because when 511 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 1: you get physically intimate like this, your bodies, your your souls, 512 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,680 Speaker 1: like the spirit, whatever you want to call it, your spirit, 513 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:45,959 Speaker 1: your soul, your body is connecting. It's it's connecting in 514 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 1: a in a neurological chemical way. It's it's it's bonding together. 515 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: It's that's what humans are meant to do. They're meant 516 00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:02,600 Speaker 1: to bond for life. So you come together intimately and 517 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 1: you pro create and you bond for life. That's that's 518 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 1: a chemical thing, right, That is that is what's going on. 519 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:20,040 Speaker 1: And you can't stop that chemical reaction. This is deeper 520 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: than your willpower. Right, So what do you do? You 521 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: stop the path of the train. You you redirect the tracks, 522 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: because if your train stays on that same track, you're 523 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: gonna get the exact result that you think you're gonna get. 524 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:43,680 Speaker 1: It's really really easy. So you have to take the 525 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:47,320 Speaker 1: train off the track. How do you do that? There's 526 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: a lot of ways we could we we could talk 527 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,360 Speaker 1: through it. This was a live a live podcast. We 528 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: could uh top of my head. You're gonna have to 529 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,960 Speaker 1: create some rules that you don't close the door. You're 530 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: in a bedroom, you don't close the door ever. You 531 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 1: you don't go part down dark places, you don't. If 532 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:14,960 Speaker 1: you want to get an extra extra layer to this, 533 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,640 Speaker 1: you got to have friends when you're alone, you got 534 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,000 Speaker 1: to have friends around. So if you guys are going 535 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 1: to watch a movie, say right in a dark room 536 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,200 Speaker 1: on a couch, you got to have a couple other 537 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,239 Speaker 1: friends at the same time with you. You have to 538 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,880 Speaker 1: set these ground rules in a time when you're not 539 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 1: with them, because when you're with them, you can't make 540 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 1: those rules. Why because the chemical reaction begins and you 541 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 1: can't stop the train when it's on the same track 542 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,360 Speaker 1: right there. So set up these rules. It's kind of 543 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:47,440 Speaker 1: like if you're trying to go on a diet, you 544 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 1: don't go to the grocery store hungry because you're going 545 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: to buy the wrong things. So you go to the 546 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,840 Speaker 1: grocery store after you've made a list for your diet 547 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:03,839 Speaker 1: and you're on a foot stomach, you're not hungry. You 548 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,680 Speaker 1: take your list, you go and you're just systematically get 549 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:08,760 Speaker 1: what you need for your diet at the grocery store. 550 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,880 Speaker 1: If not, if you don't do that, it's inevitable that 551 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 1: you will get the things you don't need to get. 552 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 1: The same thing's gonna happen. You will do the things 553 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:21,200 Speaker 1: that you will regret, and you will you will regret it. 554 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 1: I mean, all of this just take it with a 555 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: grain of salt. Do what you want. I'm telling you, 556 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,279 Speaker 1: I'm positive on all these things. You will end up 557 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 1: doing what you don't want to do, and then you 558 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 1: will regret it and it will be a problem, and 559 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:44,800 Speaker 1: it could be a really big problem. Right. The decision 560 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,360 Speaker 1: now is up to you. You know what, something you 561 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:52,839 Speaker 1: could do, something you can do is put this on him. 562 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:57,920 Speaker 1: Put it on him, And I think that's You're not 563 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,799 Speaker 1: gonna trust him, right, You're not gonna trust all of 564 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,759 Speaker 1: this with him. You're gonna do your own due diligence 565 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 1: to prevent this. But put it on him too, and 566 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 1: just say, can I trust you that this won't go 567 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,560 Speaker 1: too far? And have him look you in the face, 568 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,239 Speaker 1: and we'll see what kind of man he is. You'll 569 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: know a lot about what happens after that. You'll know 570 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,319 Speaker 1: a lot. In fact, you might know so much so 571 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,319 Speaker 1: that you could say you're not the right guy for me, 572 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,680 Speaker 1: I can't trust you, or you could say you have 573 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: earned my trust and you could be someone that could 574 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 1: spend the rest of my life with. It could be 575 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 1: that easy. Next question here, subject line here says getting 576 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,400 Speaker 1: saved after marriage. Hey, grangeur my husband and I have 577 00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 1: been married for eight years this year. Neither of us 578 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,960 Speaker 1: believed in God during our time dating, nor when we 579 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,839 Speaker 1: got married. About six months into marriage, I went into 580 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,279 Speaker 1: a terrible depression and God called me to the church. 581 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,840 Speaker 1: I went hesitantly and was immediately shown the love of 582 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 1: God by the Holy Spirit. God turned my life upside down, 583 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,360 Speaker 1: and I became a believer, dedicated my life to Jesus, 584 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 1: and I got baptized. My husband and I had been 585 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,279 Speaker 1: going through a rough time due to had been going 586 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: through a rough time due to my depression and then 587 00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:37,920 Speaker 1: this significant turnaround. He was even feeling a bit jealous 588 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,799 Speaker 1: of God, as if I was having an affair on 589 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:45,479 Speaker 1: him because of how happy and new I was. God 590 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,000 Speaker 1: restored our marriage during this time, and life became new. 591 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,480 Speaker 1: I of course wanted to share this with him, and 592 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,880 Speaker 1: so I pushed my new found faith in God on 593 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,320 Speaker 1: to him. He was quick to say, this is fine 594 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,360 Speaker 1: for you, but please don't push your beliefs on to me. 595 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 1: I respectively backed off and grew in my own faith. 596 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,799 Speaker 1: When we decided a couple of years later to have 597 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,759 Speaker 1: a child, I told my husband I wanted to raise 598 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 1: the baby as a Christian and in the church together 599 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,439 Speaker 1: as a family. He agreed as long as he didn't 600 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:22,799 Speaker 1: have to be there every weekend and that and then 601 00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,240 Speaker 1: she needed to be old enough to decide her own beliefs. 602 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 1: I wouldn't force her to continue attending church, and I agreed. 603 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: I'm sorry all this is a little bit long. My 604 00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,040 Speaker 1: husband had been attending church with us for about a 605 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,839 Speaker 1: has been attending for about a year and a half now. 606 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,279 Speaker 1: It started out as only every other weekend, but after 607 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,959 Speaker 1: we joined a small group and created community within the church, 608 00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,920 Speaker 1: he began attending weekly with us. Praise God. I know 609 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: God is moving in him, but he is still not 610 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,320 Speaker 1: a believer. It has been seven and a half long 611 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 1: years of praying for God to soften his heart, and 612 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:58,840 Speaker 1: I'm still waiting. This makes marriage extremely difficult because we 613 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,880 Speaker 1: have had a lot of different view us and opinions. 614 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,600 Speaker 1: We have been in a season for about three years 615 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,799 Speaker 1: now where we have a really hard time connecting, both 616 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:12,640 Speaker 1: emotionally and physically. We are in regular couple's counseling and 617 00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,080 Speaker 1: we put a lot of hard work into it, but 618 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,840 Speaker 1: it never seems to be enough. I have been patient 619 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: in my husband's changing faith, praying that God will call 620 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 1: him to his own in his own timing, but something 621 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 1: sometimes it feels so so hard. In the past, I 622 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,080 Speaker 1: have even considered divorce due to our differences, but through 623 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,040 Speaker 1: prayer and scripture, I know better, and so I continue 624 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,320 Speaker 1: to fight for our marriage while waiting on God to 625 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,200 Speaker 1: change his heart. How can I connect with my husband 626 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,439 Speaker 1: even though we are extremely different? How can I help 627 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:51,040 Speaker 1: my relationship flourish in the waiting? Many blessings, Amanda. Okay, great. 628 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,480 Speaker 1: I usually don't like to read an email that long, 629 00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:58,120 Speaker 1: and I accidentally got into it didn't see it, but Amanda, 630 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,520 Speaker 1: thank you. I didn't mean that in anything against your email. 631 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 1: Thank you for opening up and being vulnerable and bringing 632 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,319 Speaker 1: this situation, and it's you needed to tell it all, 633 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:12,760 Speaker 1: So thank you for that. Your question after this email, 634 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:17,239 Speaker 1: which is difficult and beautiful at the same time, your 635 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,839 Speaker 1: question is how can I connect with my husband although 636 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,279 Speaker 1: we are extremely different? How can I help my relationship 637 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:28,200 Speaker 1: flourish in the waiting? I love that man, That's so good. 638 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,480 Speaker 1: That's such a beautiful thought. And I appreciate you saying 639 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,200 Speaker 1: this because I think a lot of people would have 640 00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: the sentiment of the sucks. I hate this. This is 641 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,799 Speaker 1: so difficult, and I'm sure it is, and I'm sure 642 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:45,640 Speaker 1: you've had You've shed your your share of tears. But 643 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,840 Speaker 1: we could almost use this question and relate it to anybody, 644 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:55,280 Speaker 1: not just an unbelieving husband. But how do I connect 645 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 1: with my husband although we are extremely different. That works 646 00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:03,920 Speaker 1: with a lot of different relationships, right, not just believe 647 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:12,160 Speaker 1: or non believer whatever. And I would say this relationship 648 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:23,160 Speaker 1: building or relationship flourishing, that's your words. It depends so 649 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 1: much on self lessness. All of us are hidden narcissist 650 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:40,080 Speaker 1: in some way. And I say that because and somebody 651 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 1: might be thinking I'm not. I'm definitely not. I'm so humble. 652 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,439 Speaker 1: Maybe you are. But the reason I say it that way, 653 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:53,120 Speaker 1: I mean it. We are so self absorbed. That's our 654 00:41:53,239 --> 00:42:00,839 Speaker 1: natural state. We naturally are self absorbed because we're constantly 655 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:09,600 Speaker 1: needing to take care of ourselves hunger, thirst, hot, cold, tired. 656 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:14,680 Speaker 1: Like we we follow ourselves and our feelings, our fleshly 657 00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:20,279 Speaker 1: feelings constantly all day long. We are we are appeasing 658 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 1: our desires all the time, whether it's I got a 659 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 1: sweet tooth right now, whether it's I want to hit 660 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,439 Speaker 1: this snooze and sleep for ten more minutes, whether it's 661 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:32,600 Speaker 1: you know what, I don't. I don't want to be 662 00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,239 Speaker 1: in this conversation right now. I got to I've got 663 00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:38,680 Speaker 1: a headache, whether it's my lower back is sore, and 664 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,640 Speaker 1: I'd like just sit down for a little bit. We're 665 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:45,040 Speaker 1: constantly appeasing ourselves all day long, for years, that's what 666 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:49,200 Speaker 1: we do. And so to reverse that is to say, 667 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:56,359 Speaker 1: I'm going to deny my self my selfishness and pour 668 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,080 Speaker 1: into someone else. That's why it's so interesting, and I 669 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,840 Speaker 1: don't think we think another about how profound it is. 670 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:07,360 Speaker 1: When Jesus says love your neighbor as yourself. He doesn't 671 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:12,120 Speaker 1: say love your neighbor more than yourself. He doesn't say, 672 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,800 Speaker 1: make sure you love yourself first and then love your neighbor. 673 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 1: He doesn't say that. He says, love your neighbor as yourself. 674 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,200 Speaker 1: It's so interesting. I don't think we really dig into 675 00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:27,040 Speaker 1: what that means, because it's assuming that we love ourselves. 676 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:32,360 Speaker 1: That's what it assumes. Jesus is assuming, well, you love yourself, 677 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,799 Speaker 1: love your neighbor like that. Do you know how you 678 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,120 Speaker 1: love yourself? You know how you feed yourself when you're hungry, 679 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,319 Speaker 1: you know how you give yourself aspirin when you've got 680 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: a headache. You know how you go and lay down 681 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,360 Speaker 1: and take a nap when you're tired. Do that the 682 00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:52,759 Speaker 1: same way for someone else. Do that, not more, not 683 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:57,680 Speaker 1: over the top, not less, Just do that. That's so 684 00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:02,680 Speaker 1: fascinating right In fact, I know there's people listening right 685 00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:08,000 Speaker 1: now thinking to themselves, why not me? I don't love myself. 686 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,200 Speaker 1: Jesus was wrong about me because I can't love my 687 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:15,480 Speaker 1: neighbor as myself because I don't even love myself. It's 688 00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:19,960 Speaker 1: so crazy. Think about it just for a second. That thought. 689 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:25,680 Speaker 1: That thought is self loving because you're in a way 690 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:31,320 Speaker 1: worrying about yourself. In that situation, you are feeling sorry 691 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:35,960 Speaker 1: for yourself, saying I don't love myself. I don't love myself. 692 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,800 Speaker 1: And so we go to therapy and we pay money 693 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,880 Speaker 1: to therapists and psychiatrists, and we talk to people and counseling, 694 00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:45,320 Speaker 1: all to make us feel better, to love ourselves more. 695 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,359 Speaker 1: So we pour into ourselves and have other people when 696 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,359 Speaker 1: we pay this money. We lay on counteres and we 697 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,160 Speaker 1: talk about our feelings all because we're trying to love 698 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:58,040 Speaker 1: ourselves more. That sounds like obsessive love, Like when have 699 00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: you ever done that for someone else, gone out of 700 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:04,160 Speaker 1: your way. God, take them to therapy, take them to counseling, 701 00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,799 Speaker 1: lay on account, talk about your feelings, make sure they're 702 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:11,320 Speaker 1: eating right. Make that's what we do for ourselves. It's crazy. 703 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:17,320 Speaker 1: In fact, the pinnacle of this self love, and my opinion, 704 00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:21,799 Speaker 1: this is just my opinion. The pinnacle of this is suicide. 705 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:26,400 Speaker 1: Because suicide, at its core, at its essence, is so 706 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:32,000 Speaker 1: self loving that it says I don't care about anyone else. 707 00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:37,919 Speaker 1: All I care about is my own peace and rest, 708 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 1: and I will do it. I will obtain the peace 709 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:46,359 Speaker 1: and the rest through killing myself. I will obtain this 710 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:50,040 Speaker 1: at all costs. I don't care about mother and father 711 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:54,320 Speaker 1: and spouse and sibling and friends and boss and co workers. 712 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,920 Speaker 1: I don't care about any of them. They could deal 713 00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:59,719 Speaker 1: with my funeral. They could deal with the every aftermath 714 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:01,680 Speaker 1: of all this. They could deal with the sadness. They 715 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,680 Speaker 1: could deal with the shock of walking in on this 716 00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,319 Speaker 1: horrible scene. They could deal with it. I don't care. 717 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:12,920 Speaker 1: I love myself so much so toxically, I'm willing to 718 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:18,040 Speaker 1: take my own life just to achieve my own rest. 719 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:23,879 Speaker 1: It's crazy, and I believe that's true. I believe that's 720 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,680 Speaker 1: what Jesus means when he says love others as yourself, 721 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:34,440 Speaker 1: assuming we already love ourselves, even if you think it's hate, 722 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:39,520 Speaker 1: because hating is a close friend of love. The opposite 723 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,040 Speaker 1: of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. 724 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:46,200 Speaker 1: I don't care, and no one is indifferent to themselves. 725 00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,600 Speaker 1: Try to go a day and without eating, Try to 726 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:53,680 Speaker 1: go a week without sleeping. You're not indifferent to it. 727 00:46:54,800 --> 00:47:00,920 Speaker 1: You're obsessed with it. You gotta pacify it, right. My point, 728 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:02,560 Speaker 1: here's my point, and I'll make this simple because I 729 00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,280 Speaker 1: went out probably too long on that, but my point 730 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,239 Speaker 1: is this, how could you help your relationship flourish? How 731 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,360 Speaker 1: can you connect with your husband? You can connect with 732 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:19,440 Speaker 1: him by selflessly enjoying or trying to involve yourself in 733 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:24,480 Speaker 1: things that he likes. Like maybe you've noticed that he 734 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:28,520 Speaker 1: likes to come in and relax and he likes to 735 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:33,120 Speaker 1: watch football on Monday nights afterwards, like that's his thing, 736 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:35,600 Speaker 1: and you don't like it. You don't really like you 737 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,480 Speaker 1: don't really understand football. It's never really been your thing. 738 00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,520 Speaker 1: Maybe you fix his favorite meal and you sit down 739 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,120 Speaker 1: on the couch and you go can you teach me 740 00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:51,319 Speaker 1: about this game? What does the downs mean? What does 741 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:57,200 Speaker 1: end zone mean? What if you did that? And inside 742 00:47:57,239 --> 00:48:00,239 Speaker 1: you're thinking, I don't care, this is stupid. I'm I've 743 00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:04,040 Speaker 1: got things to do. I'm busy right now. Those thoughts 744 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,800 Speaker 1: are gonna come. But what if you thought I'm gonna 745 00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:10,040 Speaker 1: put that stuff aside. I'm gonna deny all that and 746 00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:13,799 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pour into him tonight. And you watched little 747 00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:17,080 Speaker 1: things that he did and everything that you watched, and 748 00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:21,480 Speaker 1: you acted on in a loving, selfless way, And he's going, 749 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:26,839 Speaker 1: what isn't with this girl? She is amazing? What has 750 00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:32,839 Speaker 1: changed in her heart? This Jesus guy, it's gotta be. 751 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,719 Speaker 1: This has gotta be something that I need because I 752 00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,960 Speaker 1: can't know. I can't believe what it's doing to her. 753 00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:46,880 Speaker 1: In fact, that's what Jesus teaches. Love your neighbor as yourself. 754 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:55,800 Speaker 1: That's the message. I love you guys selflessly. I appreciate 755 00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:57,440 Speaker 1: you so much. We'll see you next Monday. You need 756 00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:01,080 Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. Appreciate all 757 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,240 Speaker 1: of you guys. You could help me out by rating 758 00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,880 Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to 759 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:10,200 Speaker 1: this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification 760 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:14,120 Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. 761 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,080 Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would 762 00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:21,800 Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 763 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:22,360 Speaker 1: Yi