Speaker 1: Dude, we actually had a listener pay for advice, of course,
Speaker 1: not our advice. Okay, yeah, he hired an actual coach
Speaker 1: and he did get one very very very useful piece
Speaker 1: of advice that you're gonna hear in just a second.
Speaker 1: But first we got to say thank you so much
Speaker 1: for being here on a Monday. We got a brand
Speaker 1: new episode for you on our Second Date podcast, and
Speaker 1: we'd love to highlight a comment. Yeah, Melissa said. My
Speaker 1: boss saw me smirk and said, you've been smiling and
Speaker 1: giggling all day. Are you plotting something I should know
Speaker 1: about as I'm listening to your podcast? Just say yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: say why can't you have like a new crush? Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: why can't you just have fun at work? Oh way? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well y's not allowed, even the boss. It's like, what's up?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: Your brand new episode starts right now. Brooke and Jeffrey
Speaker 1: in the morning Second Date Updates.
Speaker 3: I can't believe I'm saying this. Okay, but if you're
Speaker 3: a guy on a dating app right now. Looking back
Speaker 3: to twenty twenty four, those were the good old days
Speaker 3: of online meetups. Just like a year and a half,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, remember those the golden era. Don't even get
Speaker 3: me started on twenty twenty three. Oh oh, they make
Speaker 3: documentaries about that time. But things have really changed. Whether
Speaker 3: it's just a generations thing or the culture, the truth
Speaker 3: is there's a lot of swiping and matching and chatting happening,
Speaker 3: but not a whole lot of meeting and hanging and
Speaker 3: actual romancing.
Speaker 1: You do get the sense that people are just over it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like not totally regime. Let's face it,
Speaker 3: there's a really good Netflix show. You can binge with
Speaker 3: your cat right now, and you don't need some random
Speaker 3: guy to be there and ruin that for you.
Speaker 1: Honestly, the cat probably smells better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So just blow that, dude and move on with
Speaker 3: your life solo. I get it, okay, But one of
Speaker 3: our listeners says he was determined to change that narrative. Okay,
Speaker 3: fix the pattern, and his name is Roman. He's asked
Speaker 3: for our help today. Roman, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: Hey guys, thanks so much for having me.
Speaker 1: All right, you're going to fix it for all men
Speaker 1: out there, just for yourself?
Speaker 2: Roman, Well, at this point, I don't even know if
Speaker 2: it worked for myself.
Speaker 3: What was your plan? How did you try to change
Speaker 3: the online dating trends.
Speaker 2: Well, dating after so hard these days, and a lot
Speaker 2: of times I don't even know how to really get
Speaker 2: from just a regular conversation to an actual meetup. So
Speaker 2: I hired a hinge coach.
Speaker 1: Oh you got a coach? Oh yeah, okay, I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess dating coaches have been around for a long time,
Speaker 1: and we all.
Speaker 3: Have a friend that can help, but like an actual coach,
Speaker 3: like a professional that knows how the online matchups really work.
Speaker 1: And we'll be honest with you.
Speaker 3: Okay, you know your friends will not. But what did
Speaker 3: your your hinge coach? What was his instruction for you?
Speaker 2: You know? He said something that was so simple, but
Speaker 2: it really changed my life. He said, once you match
Speaker 2: you had a couple of comments back and forth, you
Speaker 2: just have to go for it and say the following
Speaker 2: and he quotes Okay, I feel like getting to know
Speaker 2: each other would be more natural in person.
Speaker 3: Oh, implying that this feels very awkward between us.
Speaker 1: Yeah that I feel like that coach is not going
Speaker 1: to be happy. You just spilled all his information. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people pay for I.
Speaker 3: Charged people five dollars for that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it worked, It really worked. Now I'm actually
Speaker 2: getting dates.
Speaker 3: XI from the match to the act.
Speaker 1: It's hard not to agree with that statement.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean anybody could use it, like guys, girls.
Speaker 3: Right yeah, aliens. Yeah sure, if aliens spoke English totally,
Speaker 3: I bet some girls will be down to try some
Speaker 3: alien species based on what they've had to deal with lately.
Speaker 3: So who's the woman that you matched with that you
Speaker 3: want us to call today?
Speaker 2: Well, her name is Haley.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: And also, this is some advice I can give that helps.
Speaker 2: Don't ask for her number, give them your number.
Speaker 1: Strategy that I mean, you would feel more comfort as
Speaker 1: a woman that way.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, absolutely, And it worked. She texted me and
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, this can't be real. Now.
Speaker 1: Is this the first person that you use this strategy on?
Speaker 2: It wasn't the first, but it's been the most successful,
Speaker 2: which is why I'm so curious as to why it's
Speaker 2: not going any further. Because we went out, we met,
Speaker 2: it was awesome, Okay, what'd you do? We went to
Speaker 2: the Mediterranean restaurant Mediterranean Mediterranean? Did I say Mediterranean? You did?
Speaker 1: That's vegetarian and Mediterranean mixed together?
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, yeah, we did the vegetarian Mediterranean. But
Speaker 2: it was going so well that even halfway through the date,
Speaker 2: we were talking about what we're going to do the
Speaker 2: next time.
Speaker 1: Cute, rare.
Speaker 3: I've been on dates like that, but those are rare.
Speaker 3: It's got to be a good sign, That's what I thought.
Speaker 2: But then we're talking and all of a sudden, she
Speaker 2: gets real quiet, and it seems like she's thinking more
Speaker 2: about it, and I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: She's like, wait a minute, why did I say future plans?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Is that what it felt like? She
Speaker 1: was trying to walk back.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I was worried she was thinking of a movie
Speaker 2: too fast? Or does she have other guys she wants
Speaker 2: to see, because I mean, she is gorgeous.
Speaker 3: She's really beautiful, Like this guy's going to take me
Speaker 3: to another Mediterranean restaurant.
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds like you have other women you're
Speaker 1: talking to as well.
Speaker 2: Not really, because my whole thing is like, we'll talk,
Speaker 2: but once we go out, if it is successful, then
Speaker 2: I kind of back off of the other people until
Speaker 2: I see where this one goes.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, you.
Speaker 1: Didn't ask her to do the same, did you?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no no, no, okay, all right, but you
Speaker 3: could tell there was the hesitation just.
Speaker 2: For a moment, just for a moment, and then she
Speaker 2: kind of snapped out of it and we started talking
Speaker 2: again and it was amazing. But you know, I didn't
Speaker 2: want to overstate by welcome, so I walked into her
Speaker 2: car and we actually we kissed. You.
Speaker 3: So what's happened since then?
Speaker 2: I mean she hasn't completely ghosted me. It hasn't been
Speaker 2: all ghosting, but like if I say, hey, do you
Speaker 2: want to plan the next time, I'll get a I'll
Speaker 2: get back to you on.
Speaker 3: That energy shift, it's like non committal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's brushing him off.
Speaker 2: Sure, And I just don't know what's going on. So
Speaker 2: I really need you guys to help me out.
Speaker 3: Sometimes, Brooke, I'll ask you a question and you'll say,
Speaker 3: I'll get back to you on that. You're not completely
Speaker 3: brushing me off.
Speaker 1: I'll never get back to you on that.
Speaker 3: You should just say that directly, but then you.
Speaker 1: Have follow up questions if I say that, and then
Speaker 1: that's a noise.
Speaker 3: I know. Communication is so hard.
Speaker 1: Easier to just lead you on and make you say
Speaker 1: that you're going to get something.
Speaker 3: Oh man, where is that hinge coach where you need
Speaker 3: one to deal with your coworker.
Speaker 2: I'll give you his number.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have a question. Did you ask him about this?
Speaker 2: No, my free trial expired.
Speaker 3: Okay, you're coming to the free service Brook and Jeffrey
Speaker 3: in the morning.
Speaker 1: Remember you get what you paid for.
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're gonna do that. We'll give you exactly
Speaker 3: what you paid for when we call Haley and get
Speaker 3: some more details on what really may have happened on
Speaker 3: your Meditanean date's coming up right after this.
Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: Second date updates, planning your next date in the middle
Speaker 3: of your first one. And that's something that doesn't normally
Speaker 3: happen unless you're really clicking and are both feeling excited
Speaker 3: and vulnerable with each other. And that's what our listener,
Speaker 3: Roman says happened when he met up with Haley for
Speaker 3: dinner until a few minutes later, when Hailey suddenly got
Speaker 3: a little quiet like, uh oh, why am I committing
Speaker 3: so quickly to another hangout with this guy I barely
Speaker 3: know him?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was definitely his read.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Roman wasn't exactly sure what she was thinking, but
Speaker 3: he did end up getting a kiss at the end
Speaker 3: of the night. The weirdest part though, is since then,
Speaker 3: she's been kind of rushing him off over and over
Speaker 3: where he'll suggest a date and a time and then
Speaker 3: she'll say, you know, I'll get back to you on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it's been enough delaying where Roman has decided forget it.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna come to the radio show, get some
Speaker 3: radio lance.
Speaker 2: Remember.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. Well, yeah, that's his free trial.
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to pay for more hinge coaching, so
Speaker 3: here we are.
Speaker 1: Did sound like it would have been worth your money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's still an option if we fail you Roman,
Speaker 3: so you can keep that in your back pocket.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll do my best.
Speaker 1: I mean best case scenario is she is just busy
Speaker 1: with other dates. Because you sound like a confident guy.
Speaker 1: You sound like you're a guy that could be like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: put me up against some other dudes. I'll win.
Speaker 3: M h.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna be honest. I don't like that read
Speaker 2: that's not well he should be getting. I really don't
Speaker 2: want to compete with a bunch of other dudes.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Well, trying to hype you up as like
Speaker 1: confident guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe just one other guy? Will you go one
Speaker 3: on one with the dude. If he's smaller than.
Speaker 2: You, be smaller. Oh sure, Well, we're not.
Speaker 1: Beating people out either of you.
Speaker 3: We're doing best case scenario, as you said, Brooke, I'm
Speaker 3: on your page.
Speaker 1: All right, let's just call it.
Speaker 3: Okay, here we go. Hopefully it's something totally unrelated to
Speaker 3: other dudes, but let's find out.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 3: Hey, my name is Jeff from the radio show Brook
Speaker 3: and Jeffrey in the Morning. Is this Haley?
Speaker 2: Yes? Who is this?
Speaker 3: This is what I said at the start of the sentence.
Speaker 3: Jeff from Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, a radio show.
Speaker 4: Okay, I didn't hear you your phone cut out earlier.
Speaker 4: Who's why are you calling me?
Speaker 3: Sorry that we've had very old phone lines here at
Speaker 3: the radio station. They've been put in since like the
Speaker 3: nineteen forties. So we got a dollar zero to get out. Yes, rotary,
Speaker 3: but we're doing this segment. It's called a second date update.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if you're familiar with that. No, okay,
Speaker 3: it's a newer segment than the nineteen forties. It's where
Speaker 3: we try to help out are slightly. Yeah, we try
Speaker 3: to help out our listeners if they've gone out on
Speaker 3: a date with someone and felt like they had a
Speaker 3: good time and they're confused why they're not getting a
Speaker 3: call back. We can step in to try and get
Speaker 3: them some answers.
Speaker 4: I mean, who are you calling to me about?
Speaker 2: Brook?
Speaker 3: Do you want to say? Or have you've forgotten the person?
Speaker 3: I'll step in. It's a very very close friend of
Speaker 3: the show. Clearly, his name is Roman, that's it. Roman. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he emailed us and we spoke to him a little
Speaker 3: bit about your hangout at dinner, and according to him,
Speaker 3: he said that you two got off to a really
Speaker 3: strong start.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think we did. What else did
Speaker 4: he tell you about? Sayings?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: All good stuff from Roman?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he said that you just were such a cool person,
Speaker 1: really unique, beautiful bro?
Speaker 3: Could you possibly be any more general with the description? Correct?
Speaker 1: Do you have to say after our first meeting? Those
Speaker 1: are pretty good reviews, Like you sounded like you both clicked,
Speaker 1: like the boxes you were talking about future dates even that.
Speaker 3: Was a good sign.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was honestly really awkward. I are weird in
Speaker 4: the moment, Like I just couldn't believe that that was
Speaker 4: actually something we were talking about.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's how Roman felt too. You felt awkward
Speaker 3: about it. It was like, I don't know, idea, what
Speaker 3: do you mean?
Speaker 1: You couldn't believe you were talking about it is in
Speaker 1: a good way. You couldn't believe it.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, it's not usually something you do on
Speaker 4: the first day, and so it was just kind of no,
Speaker 4: this is new, you know, kind of charring and it
Speaker 4: made me definitely worry about some things.
Speaker 3: So usually talk when you've been on many dates, it's
Speaker 3: like your fourth date. Then you're like, all right, what
Speaker 3: are we going to do now?
Speaker 1: What we're talking about the next day? What were you
Speaker 1: worried about? Like you said it made you worry.
Speaker 4: I mean I just kind of didn't really know how
Speaker 4: the next couple of months would look. And to have
Speaker 4: that commitment chat on the first date, I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't know really what to say.
Speaker 2: Oh, like your life is a little sporadic, like your
Speaker 2: job or something. No.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's just that it's about to be wedding
Speaker 4: season and I'm in a wedding and going to three others,
Speaker 4: and I just kind of felt, am I gonna have
Speaker 4: to invite this dude to all of these weddings now?
Speaker 4: And if I don't is he going to be a
Speaker 4: set Oh.
Speaker 1: I mean Alexis would know. This wedding season is like
Speaker 1: a whole thing. Most of my friends don't have money
Speaker 1: for weddings. You don't even get a plus one anyway, Okay, dating.
Speaker 3: You're like looking ahead, being like, is it going to
Speaker 3: be awkward if I try to bring this guy around
Speaker 3: all my friends and I don't meet your family member.
Speaker 4: I mean two of these weddings are absolutely going to
Speaker 4: have to meet my grandmother. So it's like, do you
Speaker 4: just make this person who you just met have the
Speaker 4: pressure of going to these things? Or am I going
Speaker 4: to hurt their feelings? Like I just I kind of
Speaker 4: felt like, you know, let's just wait till after the
Speaker 4: wedding season is done.
Speaker 3: This actually makes sense.
Speaker 1: It doesn't say you can't bring an extra person.
Speaker 3: But to a wedding season is done. Like how long
Speaker 3: is that going to be? It could be five to
Speaker 3: six months down the road that he would have to wait.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but we're still talking, Like I'm still texting with
Speaker 4: him and getting to know him. I'm just not I
Speaker 4: just don't is he going to be my boyfriend at
Speaker 4: this point? Like if you are a pressure on the
Speaker 4: first day.
Speaker 1: She's going to say something in sensible No, you're so
Speaker 1: many steps down the road right now, like you're not
Speaker 1: in the present.
Speaker 4: That's how it made me feel. That's how the whole
Speaker 4: thing made me feel, too, and that's why I was
Speaker 4: kind of like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, so you're thinking that he's so many steps
Speaker 1: down and you're not quite You're not you're not in
Speaker 1: step with him.
Speaker 4: I want to pursue this. I want to I'm talking
Speaker 4: to him, I'm enjoying the conversation. I just don't want
Speaker 4: the drama.
Speaker 3: All right, This is definitely I don't think what we
Speaker 3: expected to hear from you when we called you, and
Speaker 3: it's certainly not going to be on Roman's radar, i'd imagine.
Speaker 3: But let's find out, because he is on the other
Speaker 3: line right now waiting to talk to you.
Speaker 2: You hey, have gone oh my god, Hi, Hey, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: If I made you feel like I was pushing things.
Speaker 2: There really wasn't.
Speaker 4: But no, that's the thing, though you weren't. It was
Speaker 4: just the situation evolved so nicely that it just sat
Speaker 4: kind of like, Okay, well here's the next step. And
Speaker 4: that's a lot of pressure to put on somebody you
Speaker 4: just met.
Speaker 2: I could. I guess I could see where you're coming from.
Speaker 2: I just why didn't you tell me about the wedding season.
Speaker 4: Thing, because I don't know how to talk about that, Like, oh,
Speaker 4: I like you so much, but I can't invite you
Speaker 4: to these weddings because that might make you feel weird.
Speaker 2: And that would have been okay, pretty sentence.
Speaker 4: I feel like this would be a whole lot easier
Speaker 4: if we had met in September at the end of
Speaker 4: wedding season.
Speaker 3: Sure, you waded through wedding season, but then after that
Speaker 3: you're going to have to put pressure on him around
Speaker 3: the holidays that are going to be coming up, and
Speaker 3: that could be just as awkward, if not more awkward.
Speaker 1: That is not helpful, Jeffrey.
Speaker 3: I'm just going off of her line of logic. At
Speaker 3: the end of the day, there is no perfect time
Speaker 3: for you to start seeing someone.
Speaker 1: That is true. There is no such thing as perfect timing.
Speaker 1: I mean just just doesn't exist.
Speaker 3: Unless you're talking about the end of March for that
Speaker 3: one week, Yes, right after you've gotten over Valentine's right
Speaker 3: before you get into Saint Patti's Day and all that stuff.
Speaker 3: Non commitment.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just wish Haley could hear herself, Like,
Speaker 1: you sound so into this possible relationship.
Speaker 4: I am, he's awesome.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's gonna be so cute when you see him
Speaker 3: in six months.
Speaker 1: Who cares if he meets your grandma and then you
Speaker 1: end up breaking up? Come on, Like, if you guys
Speaker 1: don't even want to go to the wedding, why does
Speaker 1: that even matter?
Speaker 4: Though? Like, I don't understand my Grandma's gonna freaking love then,
Speaker 4: Like I know that, and then she's gonna feel bad
Speaker 4: if we don't work out.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, there's so much pressure.
Speaker 1: But what if you do work out? Like what if
Speaker 1: we looked at that angle instead?
Speaker 4: Is that realistic?
Speaker 1: Though? Life is sure? Bring them to all the weddings.
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, we're going to ask the question here
Speaker 3: in just a second, but we haven't heard from Roman
Speaker 3: in a little bit. So, Roman, is there anything that
Speaker 3: you have to say to Haley?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I hate that you're putting so much pressure on
Speaker 2: yourself and us. I can work around your schedule and
Speaker 2: it would make you uncomfortable for me to come to
Speaker 2: one of your weddings. I just won't come.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're not her weddings at least, I don't think
Speaker 3: I would hope not friends and family members and Grandma's there, you.
Speaker 2: Know what, I just want to see her. So whatever
Speaker 2: she feels comfortable with, however that works, I'm.
Speaker 1: Good, h Haley. That could not have been a better response.
Speaker 3: Seriously, So at this point, we would like to offer
Speaker 3: to pay for your next date with Roman, whether that
Speaker 3: happens next week or at the end of September, whenever
Speaker 3: you're comfortable, we will fund it. If you say yes.
Speaker 4: I would love to him again, and so if he's cool,
Speaker 4: and we'll just take it day by day. I guess the.
Speaker 1: Only way you can take it.
Speaker 3: Okay, now to put a final stamp and seal on this,
Speaker 3: can we get Grandma on the phone and get her
Speaker 3: blessing to.
Speaker 4: You'd never get her off the phone.
Speaker 1: That's a true Grandma. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning. Isn't it ironic that wedding
Speaker 3: season almost destroyed a possible love connection Today normally works
Speaker 3: the opposite way.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think she just would rather go
Speaker 1: single to weddings.
Speaker 3: It is kind of more fun. Yeah, not to be
Speaker 3: bogged down, but we wouldn't let a wedding destroy love. No,
Speaker 3: not on our show.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I think he sounds like the type of
Speaker 1: guy that you could bring him to a party and
Speaker 1: just be okay that he's there. You know, some of
Speaker 1: them you have to babysit. Yeah, he'll find his way. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Leave him by the corner with the losers. Will you
Speaker 3: hang out with your friends? Yeah, and he'd be cool
Speaker 3: with that totally.
Speaker 1: Yeah. In a relationship, jeff I do hope.
Speaker 3: That we get an update update from these two. Will
Speaker 3: it be in six months, twelve months, four years, twenty years?
Speaker 3: Who knows when their date will eventually happen, but they
Speaker 3: do have the gift cards, so it's really up to
Speaker 3: them and also maybe her grandma too, Okay, Yeah, So
Speaker 3: we're very excited to hear from them, and you too.
Speaker 3: If you need help in your love life, email the show.
Speaker 3: We'll call that person who's not calling you back and
Speaker 3: go subscribe to our podcast wherever you listen to it.
Speaker 3: It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.