1 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,559 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for 2 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,120 Speaker 1: joining us today. We're so excited to be back. 3 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 2: Always got the always and if you haven't done it yet, 4 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 2: now is the time. Follow our podcast so you never 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 2: miss an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in 6 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 2: the podcast app and hit the follow button. 7 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's super important that you follow the podcast so 8 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,240 Speaker 1: that you get notified every time there's a new episode. Also, 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: while you're there, please leave us a review, let us 10 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: know your. 11 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 2: Love it, and make sure to check out all of 12 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 2: our past episodes. You couldn't believe who We've had one 13 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,199 Speaker 2: here and we've been having so much fun talking to 14 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 2: your Bachelor Nation favorites and answering your questions. So keep 15 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 2: them coming to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. 16 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,279 Speaker 1: Okay, Susan, we're just going to get right into it 17 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: today with the question of the day. Are you ready? 18 00:00:59,320 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 2: I'm ready? 19 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: All right? What do you think settling in a relationship 20 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 1: looks like? Do you think settling is always destined for failure? 21 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 2: When you say the word always, that changes it. Not 22 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 2: always sometimes, especially at our age, you know the things 23 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 2: that you can tolerate, like not everybody's going to be 24 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 2: perfect anymore. We're not looking for the husband or the 25 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 2: father to be of our new children that we're going 26 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 2: to have in our first house. It's a different look 27 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 2: for me at this age. And yes, I guess people 28 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,040 Speaker 2: would say settle because of some things I do and 29 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 2: vice versa. Yeah, how do you. 30 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: Feel, Well, I kind of agree with you in that settling. 31 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 2: It really does love how she says, I kind of 32 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 2: agree with you. 33 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: Well, I don't want. I don't want your head to 34 00:01:55,320 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: swell when you say settling. At our age, we know 35 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: that there's always compromise in a relationship. I think for me, 36 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: I think people make the mistakes sometimes of thinking, especially 37 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: when they're younger, that compromise is settling and they're not 38 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: the same thing. But for me, the difference is settling 39 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: is going against your core beliefs, your core wants and needs. 40 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 2: Your checklist if you will, selling is it doesn't all 41 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 2: have he doesn't have everything that I really wanted. 42 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: Well no, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying, because 43 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,679 Speaker 1: nobody has everything that I that you want or I want. 44 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: That would be you know, mister perfect, and I you know, 45 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: if he's out there, please, you know, reach out to 46 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: me at Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour. But 47 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that there there 48 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: are certain things that I will not budge on. And 49 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: and when I was younger, for example, if the guy 50 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: didn't look a certain way, I would have said, well, 51 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: I'll settle for him. I'll you know that settling in 52 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,480 Speaker 1: a younger When you're younger, you settle, That's how you 53 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 1: define it. For me, settling would be if I now, 54 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: if I dated a man who did not have integrity, 55 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: I will never date a man who does not have integrity, 56 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: And if I did, I would be settling and I'll 57 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: never do that. So I think it looks different. I 58 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 1: think when you're younger, settling is is has a different meaning. 59 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: But I will compromise. I think, yeah so, and I 60 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: happen to agree. The word settling when you're much younger 61 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: is totally different than when you're older. Yeah, I mean, 62 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: they just mean different things. I don't think that settling 63 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: is always destined for failure depending on what what you're 64 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: settling what, Yeah, I mean, these are Life is fluid, right, 65 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: We change, we mature, couples hopefully grow together. Sometimes they 66 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: grow apart, and it has nothing to do with quote 67 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: unquote what they settled for it. 68 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 2: You know, sometimes I think as I read this, could 69 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 2: it be I've always wanted somebody that loved me unconditionally, 70 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 2: and you're going to settle because he loves you, but 71 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 2: you're not as much in love with him, Like that's settling. 72 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: Loves that's settling. 73 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 74 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't do that. 75 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 2: I mean, I've got to be head over heels. 76 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, But I do think that relationships. I think relationships. 77 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: I mean, that's a big bucket of things that break 78 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: up relationships. But I don't think settling. If you're younger 79 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 1: and you you know, you get with a guy who 80 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: isn't in the profession that you, you know, I want 81 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: to marry a doctor, lawyer. I think those are superficial 82 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: things that change day to day and no one cares. 83 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: But I think if you settle, for example, if if 84 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: you not you Susan. But if somebody falls in love 85 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: when they're young and they the guy cheated on them, 86 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: for example, and then they say, you know what, I 87 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: love Johnny. I don't know my poor son in law. 88 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: I'm always using his name. Uh, Yeah, that's an easy one. 89 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: I love you Johnny, I love you Sam. And Sam 90 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: has said, you know, how how apologetic can he be? 91 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: It will never happen again? 92 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 2: You know. 93 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: If it happens again and you settle, well, it's settling 94 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 1: if you If so, that's if you go to the beginning. 95 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: If you say, I will never date, I will never 96 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: get in a serious relationship with a man who cheated 97 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: on me. If that's one of my core beliefs, right, 98 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: and I but I'm so in love with Sam that 99 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 1: I think I'm the BEA's niece. He'll never cheat on me, 100 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: and then he does, I've settled, right, I've gone against 101 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: my core belief and so that may blow up in 102 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 1: my face. That's just how I look at it. I 103 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 1: think it depends on how big the settle is. That's 104 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: what we said. 105 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 2: Before, exactly what it is you're settling. 106 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: So, Susan, could you help me find the guy so 107 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: I can decide whether I'm willing to settle or not. 108 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 2: All right, now it's time to get to our listener 109 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 2: write in. I'm going to start us off today, Okay, 110 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 2: Hailey rights, Hello, Kathy and Susan. First of all, I 111 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 2: am a big fan of both of us. So I 112 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 2: am twenty one years old, and most of my friends 113 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 2: have or had boyfriends already or talking to guys, and 114 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 2: some of my friends are shyer than I am. I 115 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 2: have tried some dating apps in the past, but I've 116 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 2: always ended up deleting them because I never ended up 117 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 2: talking to guys. I don't really get out that much, 118 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 2: regardless if it's with my friends or by myself. I 119 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 2: was just wondering if you guys have any advice for 120 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 2: me on how I should get out more or something 121 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 2: like that. Kathy, can I answer this for you. I 122 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 2: know what you're going to say, join a meet up, join. 123 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: Again, I love you that as part of what I 124 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: was going to say. We definitely know each other Susan, 125 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: but actually, you know what I was going to say. 126 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: First thing is Hayley, I find it very interesting that 127 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: you say most of my friends have or had boyfriends 128 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: already or at least talking to guys, and some of 129 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: my friends are shyer than I am. And then well, 130 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: I think that's interesting that you say that because I think, 131 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: based on what you've written or you're exceptionally shy, and 132 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: so I think before you put the cart before the horse, 133 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: and that is before you jump into clubs and things 134 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: which are going to be impossible for you to do 135 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: because you're so shy. I would work on bringing yourself 136 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: out a little bit, a little bit at a time. 137 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: Can do you imagine being as shy as she is 138 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: and going on a dating app to meet someone you've 139 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: never met. 140 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 2: This is what I'm reading. She ends up deleting them 141 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,679 Speaker 2: because she never ends up talking to guys. So if 142 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 2: somebody messages her, Hailey, are you not responding? Is that? 143 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Can you imagine if you're that shy, 144 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: it's hard enough to go on a date right with 145 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: someone you don't know, Imagine being really shy and having 146 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: to talk with them on the phone. I mean, Haley, 147 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: give yourself a break. Here. What I would tell you 148 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 1: to do is find you. Here's my advice to you. 149 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: Go find your friends, the girl you know, the girlfriends 150 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: that you have, and hang out with them in small 151 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,319 Speaker 1: groups with their boyfriends, some with their boyfriends, some not, 152 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: and just get used to being around guys. So use 153 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: your friends as a gateway to help you learn how 154 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 1: to navigate dating and. 155 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 2: Or maybe do a road trip. A trip like Sign 156 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 2: twenty one. So it's a group thing you go. Maybe 157 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,320 Speaker 2: it's singles, maybe not. But you have people chaperone, if 158 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 2: you will, a tour guide. And I love you to 159 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 2: the world. 160 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: I love you. 161 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 2: And you just told you know what you just told her. 162 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 2: You just told her. 163 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: Listen, We're not going to start with lessons on how 164 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,679 Speaker 1: to float or kick your legs. We're going to take 165 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 1: you up on the twenty meter board and have you 166 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: do a dive. 167 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 2: That is not going on the twenty meeting board. You're 168 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: going on a tour with a group of people that. 169 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: You can't even talk to guys on the internet. You 170 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: think she's going to get out and take a trip. 171 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: I think you've lost your mind. Really no, it's a 172 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: great way to meet people. I'm not disagree. 173 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 2: It's a great way. You're on your own. Yet you 174 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 2: still have the security of being in a group. 175 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,559 Speaker 1: She doesn't know anyone, the girl. 176 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 2: Is that's nobody does when you go on a group trip. 177 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,320 Speaker 1: Oh okay, you know what I mean. Bachelor Nation, you 178 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: guys to write in on this one. I think she's 179 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 1: got to take baby steps, and the baby step is 180 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:14,599 Speaker 1: not going off to you know, Ethiopia. 181 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 2: Don't say it's not that's your opinion. That's only your opinion. 182 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 2: It's I'm a definite not well, Haley, I'm on your team, 183 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 2: and I think, sweet girl, you I get it. I'm 184 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 2: not shy. Susan's not shy. In case you didn't notice, 185 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 2: neither one of us is shy. But I think you 186 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 2: got to take a little step with your friends, go 187 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 2: out and just try to be a little more talkative, 188 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 2: take a baby step towards Uh. It's hard, but it's 189 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 2: only hard, Haley until you get out and try it. 190 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 2: And you say, Haley that you don't get out that much, 191 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 2: regardless whether it's with your friends or by yourself. Your 192 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 2: first goal is to get out a little bit more. 193 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 2: That's right. Whether it's go to church or go to 194 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 2: go to like you're saying, an activity, or join some 195 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:00,679 Speaker 2: kind of a club. 196 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, but don't jump off a twenty meter board. 197 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 2: I don't want a trip, but I do think. Just 198 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 2: call me out. I'll go with you. 199 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: I'm saying, let me just say when you when you ask, 200 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: Hayley real quickly before we move on, how should I 201 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: get out more? You know how you do it, Haley. 202 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,559 Speaker 1: You do it and you'll be scared, but it'll get easier. 203 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 2: That's how you might not even be fun the first time. Well, 204 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 2: you know, let's be a little more positive. Maybe I 205 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,199 Speaker 2: don't want her to give up after trying once. It'll 206 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 2: get better every time, and you'll get a little more 207 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,600 Speaker 2: confidence in yourself. 208 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: And let us know, Haley, we'll want to hear about this. 209 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,199 Speaker 1: We hope you get out. 210 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 2: I want to hold your hand, Kathy. 211 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 1: Well, and we're a big fan of you. 212 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 2: Haley. 213 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: Twenty one is tough. Give yourself some grace. Girlfriend, It's 214 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: going to get easier. Just take it a step at 215 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:48,840 Speaker 1: a time. 216 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 2: Thanks for reaching out to us. 217 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: Okay, let's move on anonymous rights. Hi, ladies, I need 218 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: to know if I'm overreacting or just some thoughts. In general. 219 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 1: I work with this guy for context, I'm twenty six 220 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: and he's twenty four. I work mornings and he works nights. 221 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: We usually see each other for barely an hour. We 222 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 1: banter all the time, but just shoot the shit at work. 223 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 1: We hit it off great, but it's just flirty banter. 224 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: In my opinion, I kept stating in general that I 225 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 1: just wanted friends to go out with and hang with 226 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 1: because I moved here last year and don't know many people. 227 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: He eventually gave me his number like two weeks later 228 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: and we started texting. He made it known that he 229 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 1: was attracted to me and that he wanted to hang 230 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: out this upcoming week. We ended up texting not stop 231 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 1: for like four days straight, but he just kept coming 232 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: off as flirty and I wasn't giving in to any 233 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 1: of it, strictly giving friendship vibes on my end. I thought, oh, 234 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: let's keep an open mind, but it just seemed like 235 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: the more we texted, he making it known he was 236 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 1: super into me. I figured the night out would be 237 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: a quote date to him. It didn't end up happening. 238 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: He started making it seem sexual and like he just 239 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: wanted to bang, and so I made it clear I 240 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 1: just wanted to be friends and I'm not looking for 241 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 1: anything serious. He then said, oh, so it seems like 242 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 1: we're on the same page and said, let's just take 243 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: it day by day and see what happens, meaning if 244 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 1: we hang and it happens, then. 245 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 2: So be it. 246 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,559 Speaker 1: I feel played, I feel like an object. I made 247 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: this all clear and said I don't think we should 248 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: be friends anymore, because I thought he genuinely wanted to 249 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 1: be friends. He ended up apologizing and saying he was 250 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: high all night and wanted to be friends and was 251 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:49,559 Speaker 1: like eighty percent joking. I feel icky. We were vibing 252 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 1: so well, you were sorry that was editorializing and I 253 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 1: was excited for the friendship. Am I being dramatic? We 254 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,439 Speaker 1: see each other at work and he tries to talk 255 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 1: to me and tell to me occasionally, but I'm a 256 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 1: bit uncomfortable and bummed. I know it was just him 257 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: making comments and nothing more, so am I in the wrong? 258 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: But at the same time, it made me feel super 259 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 1: weird and like he wasn't coming with good intentions. It 260 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: just felt like zero to one hundred. 261 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 2: What do you think? I have mixed feelings each paragraph? 262 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 2: I thought another way. In the beginning, it was some 263 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 2: people might call it flirting, but it was just banter. 264 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 2: And when a man notices that a woman's giving him attention, 265 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 2: that's a normal process. And then you're exchanging numbers. So 266 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 2: I think you were taken back by all the texting 267 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 2: and such, but that's maybe you should have said it 268 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 2: in the very beginning. But then she thought, well, maybe right, 269 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 2: And then he did apologize he was out of line. 270 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 2: He got too carried away and was still willing to 271 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 2: just be friends and get to know each other. Because 272 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 2: you don't know, sweetheart, you might have liked the guy 273 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 2: who knows he came on a little strong, but unfortunately, 274 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 2: and you know, I've been accused of the same thing. 275 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 2: Like I'm giving somebody attention. They think I'm flirting with 276 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 2: them and I'm not. I just want to have somebody 277 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 2: to laugh with, or you know. So I get what 278 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 2: she's saying. 279 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: But so I'm agreeing with you. Mostly I agree with you. 280 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: I think she should have set it up front, but. 281 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 2: I have nobody to hang out with. 282 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm looking for a friend, but that's okay. And then, 283 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: like you said, she was going to keep an open mind. 284 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: Here's where I here's where it goes a little off 285 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 1: for me when he started making it sexual. And he 286 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: then said, so it seems like we're on the same 287 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 1: page and said, let's just take it day by day 288 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: and see what happens. That was her opportunity to say, 289 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 1: I just want to be friends. I think she feels 290 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 1: played because he was like, hey, maybe it'll turn into 291 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 1: sexual something sexual that. 292 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 2: Was, or maybe it would turn into something a little 293 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 2: more than but. 294 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: She says she feels played. So I'm I'm seeing a 295 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: little disconnect here. All you had to say, Anonymous, was 296 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: you shouldn't feel played. You should have made your intentions 297 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: very clear and then and you didn't. So you know, 298 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: he's a guy, and we all know guys do what 299 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: guys do. Unfortunately, and he did apologize. But here's the thing. 300 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: When he says he was high all night, yeah, a little, 301 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,960 Speaker 1: that's a little bit of a flag. But then he 302 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: says he wanted to be friends and was eighty percent joking, 303 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: which you know eighty percent. 304 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 2: What that statement told me was he is interesting. He is, 305 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 2: and he'll back down and let you come to I 306 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 2: think she's being a little bit dramatic, but she's also 307 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 2: new to this town, right, she doesn't know many people, 308 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 2: and that's scary. She's being careful. I get it. 309 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,399 Speaker 1: I'm saying I think I don't I don't. You know me. 310 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:10,159 Speaker 1: I'm always like to female power and all that. But Anonymous, 311 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,719 Speaker 1: I've got to say, you know, I don't care if 312 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,400 Speaker 1: he's high, I don't care if he's eighty percent serious. 313 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 1: I don't try to put the moves on you. All 314 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:23,399 Speaker 1: you had to say was Hey, Johnny, I'm I'm slow 315 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,880 Speaker 1: your role. I'm in this for a friendship. And if 316 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 1: it felt like it was zero to one hundred, girlfriend, 317 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 1: it's because you didn't apply the brakes so. 318 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 2: And you initiated the banter like well, I don't know 319 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:38,199 Speaker 2: who initiated, but you did. You look like you were 320 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 2: having fun together. Let's take it outside of work and 321 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,360 Speaker 2: see if we still have fun. And he's an idiot 322 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,360 Speaker 2: for starting to get all that, you know, you know whatever, 323 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 2: I don't, but I don't think you should be all uncomfortable. 324 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 1: Here's where I would take it anonymous. If you if 325 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,920 Speaker 1: you are interested in having it as a friend, then 326 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,679 Speaker 1: I would say to them, hey, let's put all this 327 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 1: behind us. You know we weren't to Yeah, let's start. 328 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 1: I'd love to be your friend. Let's let's go out 329 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,159 Speaker 1: and get a cheeseburger, whatever it is that you know 330 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: you'd want to do. Give out the friend vibes, you know, 331 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 1: talk about friend stuff and see if you can make 332 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: a friend out of this. Because you are new to 333 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: the town and he could become a good friend of yours. 334 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,360 Speaker 1: So I'm wishing you well. I hope that you make 335 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 1: a good friend from him, and I also hope that 336 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: you're more clear with the guys the next time if 337 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: you're really only if she's friendship. I mean, I understand, 338 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 1: but it's up to us as women to say to 339 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 1: a guy if he's put in the moves always. I 340 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 1: don't care at any age, Susan. And you know, I've 341 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 1: just been through this with a guy who is very 342 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 1: interested in me and I only see him as a friend, 343 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 1: and I've had to tell him three times and that's 344 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: on me, and. 345 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,240 Speaker 2: I think that he keeps hoping for more than hoping me. 346 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: He can hope, you know what, As as my ex 347 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 1: father in law used to say, you can wish in 348 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: one hand and shit in the other and see what 349 00:18:58,840 --> 00:18:59,400 Speaker 1: fills up. 350 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:04,719 Speaker 2: First, all right, I'm excited about this next one. Before 351 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 2: we move on, we actually have an update from one 352 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 2: of our listeners. Are you so excited? 353 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 1: I'm so excited? 354 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 2: All right? Okay, So hi ladies. I don't know if 355 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 2: you remember that this time last year I reached out 356 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 2: for advice because I was so nervous about moving in 357 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 2: with my boyfriend. I was so independent and happy living 358 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 2: on my own. Well, I'm appreciative of that time. I 359 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 2: had with myself. It's been a year living with my 360 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,199 Speaker 2: boyfriend and it's been great. By the way, I am 361 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 2: a girl that was asked in the episode. I laughed 362 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 2: at the joke you said about me treating this like 363 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 2: jail time aka moving in with my boyfriend. I think 364 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 2: you said that goud. Ironically, that episode came out on 365 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,440 Speaker 2: the day I moved out of my apartment. It's the universe. 366 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 2: I listened to it while I got ready to pack 367 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 2: up the last of my things and move. It was 368 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 2: so special hearing your advice at the time I needed 369 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 2: it most. I know. I got goosebumps. It's been a 370 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 2: wonderful year of growth for our relationship, and I think 371 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 2: there's an engagement coming soon. 372 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,400 Speaker 1: I got goods bumps. Okay, wait, can I just interrupt 373 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:24,879 Speaker 1: for one second if you're if you're listening, we just 374 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,080 Speaker 1: need you to know that Susan's a wedding officio. 375 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:31,879 Speaker 2: Yes, ses, I'll be there anyways. Thank you for lightening 376 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,679 Speaker 2: the mood with my concerns and helping me with my nerves. 377 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:40,000 Speaker 2: I still miss my old girl apartment at times, but 378 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 2: this has been a wonderful move for me and my boyfriend, 379 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:47,679 Speaker 2: and we are finally looking forward to future plans. Thank you, 380 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 2: Kathy and Susan. PS. Kathy is a star own Bachelor 381 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 2: in Paradise. Love you guys. 382 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: Oh, I love this. I love this this. I don't 383 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: know about you, Susan. This update has made my day 384 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,399 Speaker 1: because because you and I have so much fun doing 385 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: this podcast and dishing out advice, and as we always say, 386 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,880 Speaker 1: we're not psychologists or anything, but we've lived a lot 387 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:12,120 Speaker 1: of life and to get such a fabulous update, I'm 388 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:12,880 Speaker 1: so happy for. 389 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 2: We don't think we just do it on air. We 390 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,239 Speaker 2: talk about these things afterwards. We always are curious. I 391 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,399 Speaker 2: wonder whatever happened with or I wonder if she hit 392 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 2: him with the bat, or I wonder if that was you. 393 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,920 Speaker 1: Susan. I'm so happy for you. I hope that there 394 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: is much I hope that there is a wedding in 395 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 1: your future. 396 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 2: Please let us go. 397 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, and if Susan comes, I come. We come as 398 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,440 Speaker 1: a team absolutely all right, we are going to move 399 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 1: into ready, Susan, We're gonna have some girl chat instead 400 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,600 Speaker 1: of it, and we're doing this instead of a game. 401 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: So this should make you happy. This is this is 402 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 1: sort of like our golden spotlight. 403 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 2: Only. 404 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 1: This segment is for women of all ages. Today, we're 405 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: talking all about bodily changes. We'll be giving off some 406 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: rapid fire advice. Okay, I'm gonna start us off for 407 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:02,160 Speaker 1: the first prompt. 408 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 2: Okay, all right. 409 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,680 Speaker 1: Most women are taught that your body only changes during 410 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,679 Speaker 1: puberty and when you get pregnant. Have you seen your 411 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 1: body change over the years in the wood? 412 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,360 Speaker 2: Come to bear shit. 413 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: In the woods? I mean yeah, how much of I 414 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 1: mean not how much? 415 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 2: What has the biggest. 416 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 1: Change been for you since let's call it not puberty, 417 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,200 Speaker 1: let's go with menopause. 418 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,879 Speaker 2: Oh my god, completely change. But what I was going 419 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:36,400 Speaker 2: to say was we change our bodies everything every seven years. 420 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 2: It's no snake shedding our skins. 421 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? 422 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,400 Speaker 2: No, but we do. Our body chemistry changes. We are 423 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:51,400 Speaker 2: constantly changing when it comes to our bodies. We definitely 424 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,119 Speaker 2: have seen changes, some good, some bad, some you know 425 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 2: what I mean. That's life. Yeah, it's not just a puberty. 426 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 2: City is big true, because your boobs pop out and 427 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 2: you're you know, you get a period and all that. 428 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:12,680 Speaker 2: Being a woman that is, and it's going to change continually. 429 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 1: I think that, Yes, I agree, but I do think 430 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 1: for those of you listening with with girls young and 431 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,479 Speaker 1: daughters who are maybe in their twenties, thirties, forties, whatever. 432 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,720 Speaker 1: I don't think there is enough conversation about how much 433 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 1: our bodies change after childbearing, years after menopause, and as 434 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 1: you say, it keeps changing. But the good news is 435 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 1: there are lots of things that we can do to 436 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,919 Speaker 1: help us feel better. It's not necessarily I mean, everyone 437 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,400 Speaker 1: knows you and I did those lower facelifts. That's about 438 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: making us feel better. But I'm talking about there's things 439 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,719 Speaker 1: that there's things that we can do to make our 440 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: bodies feel better, and not just exercise. There's supplements, there's 441 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:02,160 Speaker 1: all kinds of treatments that you can have exercising that 442 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 1: that will stave off, if you will, the bad parts 443 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:11,000 Speaker 1: of getting older, because aging is not all fun and games, and. 444 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,879 Speaker 2: The most important part, like you said, and I'm going 445 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 2: to elaborate on it, Kathy, is knowing that this is normal. 446 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,960 Speaker 2: Being educated, right what you started with, Most women are 447 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 2: taught that your body changes during puberty and then again 448 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 2: when you get pregnant, and then it stops the conversations. 449 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 2: My goodness, you're still growing taller, You're still growing wider 450 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 2: or thinner or it's just. 451 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 1: But but I think the conversation is the three biggest 452 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 1: things are well birth of course, but puberty, pregnancy, and menopause. 453 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: And I think so little women I don't know feel 454 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: I don't feel this way, but I think women feel 455 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: shame sometimes because you know, they can't have children anymore, 456 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,640 Speaker 1: and what they're not useful anymore. And I mean I've 457 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: talked to some women in their sixties. I didn't either 458 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 1: waistline went with menopause. You know what, I never got 459 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:07,720 Speaker 1: a waste and. 460 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 2: That is a body change. I mean, we can't control it. 461 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,920 Speaker 2: I don't care how much you exercise. Your body changes. 462 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 2: And it's hormonal. All of this is hormones. 463 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,120 Speaker 1: But I will say I have to say one thing. 464 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,120 Speaker 1: A lot of women on my inside, on my social media, 465 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: they'll write to me things like, wow, Kathy, you look great. 466 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 1: What's your what's your trick? And I'm going to say 467 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 1: it right here. There are no tricks, you know, Susan. 468 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,480 Speaker 1: I work out, I lift weights, I power off five Yeah, 469 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,679 Speaker 1: but I take I do it because it makes me 470 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 1: feel better, but it also helps me look better, keeps 471 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:47,480 Speaker 1: my body, my bones. 472 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 2: You know. 473 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: Motion is lotion, right, And so I think some people 474 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 1: use menopause as an excuse to you know, sit down 475 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,120 Speaker 1: in the chair and eat ice cream and in their 476 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,159 Speaker 1: best days of behind them. 477 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 2: If you have a child, the next on saying like, yes, 478 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 2: everything changes, you're hit with changes because the baby. Most 479 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 2: babies come through the canal. It's part of nature. 480 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. And you know what advice I have for those women, 481 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:20,199 Speaker 1: be so grateful that you were able to bring you 482 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: and your partner were able to bring this miracle to life. 483 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 1: And again, eat well, get rest, work out. Your body's 484 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 1: going to change. It's about being healthy. It's about doing 485 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: the things that will make you feel good about yourself. 486 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:42,480 Speaker 1: But you don't want the body so what it does. 487 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 2: But that's that's okay, that's right. 488 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 1: And the letter comes after the letter B. That's right. 489 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 1: Expect it to change, and it's some things go back 490 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,680 Speaker 1: to normal. Something stone. I mean, I am going to 491 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 1: tell you, uh, those. 492 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 2: Perky booths fall down to your waist, sign your pennies 493 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 2: and haven't brought back that's all. 494 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I was going to say deflated balloons, but 495 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: you know they still get the job done. You know, 496 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 1: I've never had a man turn away from me because 497 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 1: my boobs were not, you know, coming out of my neck. 498 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,120 Speaker 1: So that's why. 499 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 2: What are some unexpected changes that you noticed at any age, 500 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 2: like how you carry your weight, or did anything happen 501 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,439 Speaker 2: that fell out of the blue, Like you shared with 502 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,479 Speaker 2: us that when you were young you were heavier. Yes, 503 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,440 Speaker 2: and that big change came when you made up your 504 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,760 Speaker 2: mind and you started your walking and you're exercising and 505 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,879 Speaker 2: you're extremely fit. But that came out of the blue, right, 506 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,200 Speaker 2: what came out? You made up your mind I am 507 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 2: not going to be two hundred pounds. 508 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: Yes, well it didn't come out. Yes, it sort of 509 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 1: came out a little bit, yes, it it. It came 510 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 1: out of the blue in that I decided made a choice, 511 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 1: You made a choice. I think unexpected changes are just 512 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,640 Speaker 1: the ones you don't know about, Like, uh, you know 513 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 1: all women know this dryness during sex. I mean that 514 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,280 Speaker 1: you know that was unexpected. I didn't think it was 515 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:12,439 Speaker 1: going to happen quite as quickly as it did. But again, 516 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 1: there's lots of things you can do for that, so 517 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: there's ways around it. So I don't know unexpected. I 518 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 1: think it's everyone's responsible for educating themselves, don't you and 519 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 1: so if you if you're feeling these changes, I think 520 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: sometimes depression women feel depressed or. 521 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 2: That that comes out of the blue sometimes too right, 522 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 2: the best days of their body, that's your chemistry and 523 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 2: you know the serotonin and. 524 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: So yeah, yes, and I think I, I mean, it 525 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,960 Speaker 1: didn't really happen for me. I but I already know 526 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: I'm a weirdo. I don't feel like my best days 527 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: are behind me. I feel like there's great days ahead 528 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 1: of me. I'm living great days. I've lived great days. 529 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 1: I think that is something that women. I wish more 530 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: women would be motivated to do what it takes to 531 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: feel better about themselves. 532 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,080 Speaker 2: Does that make sense? This is a perfect question for you. 533 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 2: What advice would you give to young women struggling with 534 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 2: their body image, especially in today's world filled with ozempic 535 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 2: and AI. 536 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 1: Well, again, my advice is what I just said. First 537 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 1: of all, most of the pictures you see on social media, 538 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: everything's airbrushed. They've done everything they can to reconstitute a 539 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:39,600 Speaker 1: picture to make that person look like Barbie. Uh and 540 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: and that's not reality. And my advice is, don't pay 541 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: attention to what you see on social media. As far 542 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: as ozempic and those things if you if you need ozempic, 543 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 1: I'm a purist. If you need ozempic, I think it's 544 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: for treat diabetes. 545 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 2: Right. Sisters are both on it right now. My sister 546 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 2: lost but she's no longer a diabetic and she said 547 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 2: that the doctor, are you going to take me off now? 548 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,760 Speaker 2: He said no, no, that's what's keeping you from being it. 549 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 2: So it does help something. 550 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 1: So but here's the thing. The question was women struggling 551 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 1: with their body image. I have a problem, and I 552 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,479 Speaker 1: guess ozembic is never going to come to me and 553 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 1: offer me a brandale. But I don't subscribe to women 554 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:30,720 Speaker 1: using drugs off label that have not been studied enough. 555 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 1: The studies are now coming out that not such a 556 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:38,040 Speaker 1: good thing. So I feel like the advice is eat healthy, 557 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:43,840 Speaker 1: work out, don't look for a quick fix for your body. 558 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,760 Speaker 2: I have to call you out on something, girlfriend, and 559 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,680 Speaker 2: it's because I love you and I tell you this often. 560 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,040 Speaker 2: You still struggle with body image. 561 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 1: I know I do. What's your point? 562 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 2: What what you're giving advice out? You need to follow 563 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 2: your own Mike absolutely amazing, and I'm not going to 564 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,760 Speaker 2: say for your age, you look amazing if anything, you're 565 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 2: too skinny, but you pick out the flaws. Now, we're 566 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 2: here to give advice for people struggling like you. Yes, 567 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 2: by advice to tell them. The advice is try, I 568 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,000 Speaker 2: try to be kind to myself. I have body dysmorphia. 569 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 2: You and I'm talking about this, so I'm saying, be 570 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 2: kind yourself. I try to look in the mirror and 571 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,960 Speaker 2: say it's okay, it's okay, Kathy, you look okay, don't 572 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 2: And when you put a dress on and you see 573 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 2: the picture, how great you look going on Paradise. You 574 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 2: look fabulous in your dresses. Doesn't that like. 575 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 1: It does help? But Paradise, that's a tough That was 576 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 1: a really tough one for me. And we've talked about this. 577 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 2: Because you're around twenty and thirty year old. 578 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 1: Well, these girls look like I mean, I love them 579 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 1: all dearly, but I was the only one not in 580 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 1: a bikini. Well some of the goldens were not. But 581 00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 1: you know, body image is a real thing. I and 582 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: I think it's honestly susan worse worse for younger people 583 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: because they're so invested in AI and social media, And 584 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 1: what I want them to know is that's not real. 585 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 1: So I do the best I can. I work out, 586 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,840 Speaker 1: I eat well. I try to tell myself, and that's 587 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: I try to self talk, and that would be my advice. 588 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:25,280 Speaker 2: You know. Also, we've come a long way since everybody 589 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 2: looked like twigg eat when I grew up, and now 590 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 2: they're full body models and way bigger. 591 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: No, they call them Kirby, call them kurvy. That's the 592 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 1: label now curby. 593 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,360 Speaker 2: Well, I don't care what the label is. But it's 594 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 2: okay to be a bigger or thicker, or you know, 595 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 2: full bodied. It's okay today. 596 00:32:54,600 --> 00:33:01,280 Speaker 1: I want beauty standards to be reflecting what women really 597 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 1: look like in real life. That but but I does 598 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,720 Speaker 1: not go to get the fact. It does not negate 599 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 1: the fact that I want all women, men, children, everyone 600 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: to eat healthy, exercise, and and the goal should not 601 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: be to be skinny as a rail so you fit 602 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,960 Speaker 1: into your size two's whatever. The goal should be to 603 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: feel good, to look healthy, to have energy, to be 604 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 1: able to move your body in a healthy way. So 605 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 1: I know I sound like a preacher here, but I 606 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 1: wish beauty standards. I don't want healthy. 607 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 2: I do that, but I also eat unhealthy. 608 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:43,360 Speaker 1: Everyone does eat everyone does. But I'm saying it's it's 609 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: like everything in life moderation, and I don't like seeing 610 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: people using uh. 611 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 2: The just for a quick fix, yes. 612 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: Because that's you know what, It's not going to work. 613 00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 2: But it has helped so many people, so I'm not 614 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 2: knocking it. 615 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 1: No, no, no. Zeppych is a life changer for people 616 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 1: with diabetes wonderful, and it's a life changer for people 617 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,640 Speaker 1: apparently who are overweight. But I would like to see 618 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,759 Speaker 1: the world work at being better and. 619 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 2: Not judge people because of what they look like. 620 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,520 Speaker 1: Do you think that's ever going to happen. 621 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 2: I hope so, But you know what, we're out of 622 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:26,239 Speaker 2: time and that does it for today's episode of Bachelor 623 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,720 Speaker 2: Happy Hours, Golden Hopp. 624 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 1: Well, thank you all so much for joining us. Be 625 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,840 Speaker 1: sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we do have 626 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 1: new episodes coming out every week and you don't want 627 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 1: to miss even one. 628 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,680 Speaker 2: That's right. Make sure you submit your questions to us 629 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:44,239 Speaker 2: and your comments and we love the feedback afterwards. And 630 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 2: that was a year ago. That was so awesome. You 631 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,439 Speaker 2: can go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour, 632 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,880 Speaker 2: or you can hit us up on social media at 633 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 2: Bachelor Happy. 634 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: Hour, Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the 635 00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,239 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to your podcasts untill 636 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:01,759 Speaker 1: next time. Have a great week. 637 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:05,879 Speaker 2: Mm hmm