Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, welcome back to Bachler Happy Hour.
Speaker 2: I'm Joe and I'm Serena.
Speaker 1: And we are here with Kylie Russell from last season
Speaker 1: A Bachelor in Paradise and from Kylie, who is your
Speaker 1: bachelor Zach?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's in twenty seven. I'm a Bacheler. What's Zach.
Speaker 3: It's nice to let's see you guys again and be
Speaker 3: back Bachelor Nation.
Speaker 4: It's so funny because we had Tyler Cameron a few
Speaker 4: weeks ago and we're like, oh, like, you've never been
Speaker 4: on the podcast, so crazy, and then this week I
Speaker 4: was like, I think Kylie's been on like three times,
Speaker 4: like she's like a regular here.
Speaker 3: This is my third time and I love this space.
Speaker 3: I always feel so welcomed and very energetic platforms beyond,
Speaker 3: so I'm excited to be back.
Speaker 2: We love having y'all.
Speaker 1: When I hear your name, I think of one thing
Speaker 1: and you said it up. You said it on our podcast,
Speaker 1: and that's what I This is how I associate you. Now.
Speaker 2: Do you know what they are on Happy Hour?
Speaker 1: I think you said it on Clickbait already. It's if
Speaker 1: you do. It's something that you do that I.
Speaker 3: Drink Mountain do And yes, I really got off that
Speaker 3: podcast and I was like, why did you just word vomit?
Speaker 3: Like are you good? Because although I do that, I
Speaker 3: don't want the world to know. But I live in
Speaker 3: California now and I feel like I have to be
Speaker 3: like a healthy queen. I guess. So we've done out
Speaker 3: back on that and do and we only drink that
Speaker 3: ever so often.
Speaker 4: Really instead of waking up and having a coffee, I'll
Speaker 4: wake up and have a glass.
Speaker 1: Keep a Mountain Dew at her nightstand and wake up.
Speaker 4: The first thing, you know what though, So that is
Speaker 4: crazy Kylie like it is. But at the same time,
Speaker 4: there's people that are like crazy, crazy diet coke drinkers,
Speaker 4: and I feel like it's kind of similar. I mean,
Speaker 4: Anna Redmond is like obsessed with mountain dew. Also, I
Speaker 4: think they like sent her a bunch of I don't
Speaker 4: feel so wone now there's a community of you guys
Speaker 4: out there drinking Mountaindale.
Speaker 3: Less embarrassed now. But yeah, like I said, I've tried
Speaker 3: to kind of put my health at my forefront and
Speaker 3: be a little bit better. But I think I will
Speaker 3: if mountain dew is what kills me, at least I'll
Speaker 3: die happy. I guess you.
Speaker 4: Know what everyone has like their thing, you know, like
Speaker 4: Joe loves Pinkberry and.
Speaker 1: Like, okay, I actually don't. I'm actually I'm over Pinkberry.
Speaker 5: Is no longer ordering Pinkberry every night after But if
Speaker 5: I were, if I were to do a pop, if
Speaker 5: I were to drink a pop, my go to is
Speaker 5: a coke.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love a good king. It's a toss up
Speaker 3: Coke Coker Mountain dew for me. But mon deu is there?
Speaker 3: My heart lives.
Speaker 2: Do you drink coffee?
Speaker 3: No? And I'm a nurse, so I work long, twelve
Speaker 3: hour shifts and not being a coffee drinker will be
Speaker 3: the death of me, just because I'm so physically tired
Speaker 3: all the time. And it would be so nice to
Speaker 3: have like that espresso boost. But it's just my tastebuds
Speaker 3: are really picky. I'm twenty six, and I have the
Speaker 3: tastebuds of like like a six year old child. So
Speaker 3: I'm hoping one day I'll wake up and they'll be
Speaker 3: like evolved, but unfortunately does not yet happen, So no
Speaker 3: coffee for me. I want to like Starbucks. I want
Speaker 3: to walk in with like my cute scrubs and my latte.
Speaker 3: But it just will never be me unfortunately.
Speaker 2: That's all right, that's so funny to me. I like,
Speaker 2: so you're like a chicken fingers and fries girl.
Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely, yeah, I think too. That's why when you
Speaker 3: were traveling for Zach season at the Bachelor, one of
Speaker 3: the things put being on TV and like the emotions
Speaker 3: of like falling in love aside, Like, one of my
Speaker 3: biggest struggles was finding things on the menu in the
Speaker 3: different countries that I liked. It was a struggle and
Speaker 3: probably a red flag. But if they don't have chicken
Speaker 3: fingers and fries, like I don't want it.
Speaker 1: What's the most adventurous food you've you've dabbled in?
Speaker 3: Okay, so I my junior year of college, I went
Speaker 3: to Spain for two weeks and Spanish food is very interesting.
Speaker 3: I thought. So in the South, we love a good
Speaker 3: hush puppy, and for whatever reason, I thought I was
Speaker 3: eating a hush puppy in Spain. It definitely wasn't a hushpuppiy.
Speaker 3: It was. I'd bit into it. It looked just like
Speaker 3: one and cuet. Yeah, probably, and it was not. I
Speaker 3: was very surprised that it was not what I was expecting,
Speaker 3: so I think that I think the Spanish food in
Speaker 3: Spain really was out there for me. I ended up
Speaker 3: finding an American diner in like the pit of Barcelona,
Speaker 3: and I ate there like every other day, just because
Speaker 3: I want to be so cultured, like I really do.
Speaker 3: But my taste bluds just hate me basically.
Speaker 4: But you know what, like, if you're trying things, that's
Speaker 4: all you can do. You know what I mean exactly,
Speaker 4: you don't like them, you don't like them. I feel
Speaker 4: like it's just out of your control, like what foods
Speaker 4: taste good to and what don't.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Serene, thank you for having me b And
Speaker 3: it's like you said, it's not like lack of effort.
Speaker 3: I always put my best friend forward. It's just my
Speaker 3: body rejects me. So they know I'm always advocate.
Speaker 4: I feel like I used to be judgmental of picky eaters,
Speaker 4: but then I'm like, when you think about it, it's like,
Speaker 4: if you're not willing to try different foods, like that
Speaker 4: is an issue. I think I think you should always
Speaker 4: be open to, like trying different cultures foods, but if
Speaker 4: you're trying them and they don't taste good to you,
Speaker 4: Like you can't do anything about that, like if you
Speaker 4: don't like them. Oh, I'm just a girl, yeah, like
Speaker 4: the just who wants chicken fingers.
Speaker 1: I have a friend that I was just in Forida
Speaker 1: with and he he will only eat like a cheeseburger
Speaker 1: well done with catchup and like cheetos and like that's
Speaker 1: all he'll eat. But we have to pivot.
Speaker 4: So you you're from Charlotte, yes, and you are living
Speaker 4: wear in California.
Speaker 2: No, you're in San Diego right.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm one of the basic Bachelor nations and that
Speaker 3: moved to California, San Diego specifically after being on a season.
Speaker 3: I'm actually in my apartment with I love with Jess
Speaker 3: Gerard from my season of Paradise a ZAC season. She's
Speaker 3: in the room beside me. She's a work from homegirly.
Speaker 3: So my god, Hi Jack, Yeah, hey Jess, if you
Speaker 3: can hear us. But yeah, no, I have loved it.
Speaker 3: I've been here. I moved here in mid February, so
Speaker 3: it's almost been two months, which is insane how fast
Speaker 3: time it's grown. It's taken some adjustment because it's so
Speaker 3: much different than the East Coast. But I really do
Speaker 3: love it.
Speaker 4: What do you think it is that pulls so many
Speaker 4: people from Bachelor Nation to go live in San Diego?
Speaker 2: Like, was it on your radar before?
Speaker 4: Was it just like all of your friends were moving there,
Speaker 4: you thought it would be fine? Like it's the whole
Speaker 4: San Diego Bachelor Nation thing is so interesting to me
Speaker 4: because there's literally so many of them there.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I honestly, for myself, if you would have
Speaker 3: told me prior to going on The Bachelor that I
Speaker 3: would ever move out of Charlotte, I would be like,
Speaker 3: you're insane. There's no way. I went to college there.
Speaker 3: I loved ten minutes from my parents after being out
Speaker 3: of my parents' house, Like, Charlotte was my home, it
Speaker 3: was my community, and I loved it there. And so
Speaker 3: I think The Bachelor and especially Paradise provided so much
Speaker 3: growth for me and allowed me to really become independent.
Speaker 3: And then so that kind of sparked my interest of
Speaker 3: wanting to get out of Charlotte and explore and experience
Speaker 3: new cities. And then everyone for my season, I know,
Speaker 3: Kat lives here now, Genevieve Mayo and then Anastasia and
Speaker 3: they kind of just picked up and came here and
Speaker 3: so Jess and I were like, why not us? So
Speaker 3: I think it was just it was never specifically San Diego.
Speaker 3: For me, it was I want to experience a new city,
Speaker 3: and all my friends just so happened to go to
Speaker 3: San Diego. So that's why I chose it.
Speaker 4: That makes sense because it's like it's an easy adventure,
Speaker 4: but it also feels safe probably to be like, I
Speaker 4: want to try something new, but I don't want to
Speaker 4: be like isolated and alone.
Speaker 2: And you know that you're going to have kind of
Speaker 2: a beautiful too.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean it's not a hard place to live
Speaker 3: at all. And exactly like you're saying, Serene, I did
Speaker 3: become very independent on the Bachelor, but I don't think
Speaker 3: power to the people who can pick up a move
Speaker 3: and know no one. But unfortunately that's just not something
Speaker 3: I probably would ever be comfortable with. So it's that
Speaker 3: comfort blanket of having my friends here while exploring a
Speaker 3: beautiful inner city. You guys should come and visit.
Speaker 2: I've actually never been to San Diego.
Speaker 1: I knew that.
Speaker 4: I think you've been twice, Yeah, twice.
Speaker 2: I think I would love to go.
Speaker 4: It's just like we live in New York and it's
Speaker 4: like a bit of a mission to get out there.
Speaker 3: No, it's far. It's like a six hour flight from
Speaker 3: North Carolina, so I feel like it may be a
Speaker 3: little further for good. I'm very geographically challenged, so I'm
Speaker 3: not exactly sure. But New York was actually on the list.
Speaker 3: I know Davia and we are both live in New York,
Speaker 3: and so I was like pulled in either that action
Speaker 3: or San Diego. But I hate the cold, and unfortunately,
Speaker 3: you guys' winters are brutal, so I'm going to stay
Speaker 3: over here where I can go to the beach.
Speaker 1: Basically, So what is what is a regular weekend for
Speaker 1: you guys? Are you all getting together all the time?
Speaker 1: What's that looking like?
Speaker 3: Yeah? So I think because we have the comfort of
Speaker 3: each other, we find ourselves migrating to one another. We
Speaker 3: like to experience any new restaurants. We like to go
Speaker 3: to the local bars. There's two separate kind of like
Speaker 3: fields of San Diego. You have Pacific Beach, which is
Speaker 3: like your beachy bars, kind of gives like a college vibe.
Speaker 3: And I swear Jessica is obsessed with peb like she'd
Speaker 3: probably be buried there as she could, so she often
Speaker 3: drags us to PB or there's like the little Italy area.
Speaker 3: I would say it's like similar to New York vibes,
Speaker 3: kind of like your older men women kind of just
Speaker 3: like by very low key and subtle. So I guess
Speaker 3: it just depends on how we wake up that Saturday
Speaker 3: and what we're feeling. But if it's up to Jess,
Speaker 3: peb is where it will be.
Speaker 4: Where it is at And then during the week, what
Speaker 4: is your life like?
Speaker 2: You were an urn right, yes, in Charlotte?
Speaker 3: Okay, I was. Yeah, I was honestly really weird because
Speaker 3: I had been talking about moving since like September of
Speaker 3: last year, and I worked in postpartum, so right after
Speaker 3: a mom and baby delivers and labor delivery, they come
Speaker 3: to my unit and I take care of them for
Speaker 3: the next couple of days. And it's a very specialized field,
Speaker 3: and once you're there, no one really wants to leave
Speaker 3: because it's an amazing place to work. Long story short,
Speaker 3: I could not find a gig anywhere in San Diego.
Speaker 3: It was almost impossible, and so I'd kind of just
Speaker 3: given up. I was going to work at a med
Speaker 3: spa here already like accepted the offer, was ready to go.
Speaker 3: And then the day I moved out, I found a position.
Speaker 3: Day I moved out of Charlotte, I found a postpartum
Speaker 3: position at a hospital here, and I like interviewed on
Speaker 3: a whim. Literally within an hour later, I had an
Speaker 3: offer letter, and then two hours later I was on
Speaker 3: a plane to San Diego. So it was like everything
Speaker 3: had just fallen into place. I was so like genuinely
Speaker 3: excited about my work and when I was coming to so, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm a post part of Meiers here in San Diego.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 4: It mustage just felt like truly the stars were aligning
Speaker 4: for you.
Speaker 3: Literally, because I think I was obviously excited about moving,
Speaker 3: but my job was kind of holding back that excitement
Speaker 3: because it just it wasn't where I felt like I
Speaker 3: was drawn to. And so that aligning literally was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be going here. I'm supposed to be here,
Speaker 3: and it's going to be a good experience.
Speaker 1: Nice. What what are you? What are your what are
Speaker 1: your shifts? Like? What shifts do you work?
Speaker 3: I am a unicorn and I was able to get
Speaker 3: not only a new job, but I was able to
Speaker 3: get day shifts. So I work I go in about
Speaker 3: and that's really rare, especially if you're starting out on
Speaker 3: a new unit. You're typically always nights and then you
Speaker 3: have to work through what your way up to days.
Speaker 3: So I get into the hospital around like six forty
Speaker 3: five in the morning and then I don't ever really
Speaker 3: leave until about seven forty five at night. So it's
Speaker 3: so long day once I'm there. But I only typically
Speaker 3: work three to four days a week, so I have
Speaker 3: some days of rest like today in between, so it
Speaker 3: makes it, it makes it worth it nice.
Speaker 1: That's uh, yeah, that's not bad. Then I never know
Speaker 1: because like sometimes I hear like you'all hear like nurses
Speaker 1: that work around the clock every day and then you
Speaker 1: have like there's all different hours, so I was curious
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 3: I empowered to them. I can agree that I was
Speaker 3: off of work for like two and a half months
Speaker 3: and so my body was used to just being lazy,
Speaker 3: and then I go into my first whole hour shifts
Speaker 3: being back, and I felt like I had just died
Speaker 3: and got back to life. So I'm slowly but surely adjusted.
Speaker 3: But it's very hard on your body, but a really
Speaker 3: rewarding job.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like that's such a special unit to
Speaker 4: work in because you're kind of seeing people hopefully and
Speaker 4: like their happiest time with their news.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but also like stressful because it's like if.
Speaker 3: They're not getting any sleep, the babies wanting to feed
Speaker 3: all night, the babies crying. No, it's literally so rewarding.
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a lot of education that comes
Speaker 3: into my job of just like helping especially a new
Speaker 3: mom transition into motherhood. I will say, like ninety eight
Speaker 3: percent of the time, like you said, it's one of
Speaker 3: the happiest moments of their life. I do occasionally get
Speaker 3: some baby daddy drama that's always kind of interesting to see.
Speaker 3: But yes, yes, I like sometimes I like, am I
Speaker 3: working on Jerry Springer? Or like, am I in the
Speaker 3: hospital right now? But putting that aside, it's very refreshing
Speaker 3: and something I love to do.
Speaker 4: I could totally see you in that role. If I
Speaker 4: ever have a baby, I'll be like, Kylie, what do
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 3: I'll fly out to New York and I'll do all
Speaker 3: of the most part tricks I got you.
Speaker 1: Thank you all right? So I want to get into
Speaker 1: your dating life, but before we do, let me kind
Speaker 1: of summarize for everyone what went down, Yes, with your
Speaker 1: season of Paradise. So essentially, you're on Paradise, you and
Speaker 1: Avon leave kind of like you wishy washy, but like
Speaker 1: you're kind of in a you're you're somewhat of a couple.
Speaker 1: Then after the show airs, you guys post that you're
Speaker 1: together in San Diego, and then like twenty four hours later,
Speaker 1: you post a story or you might have posted in
Speaker 1: and feed that he cheated on you, and you guys
Speaker 1: are broken up. And that's kind of the last of
Speaker 1: what I know, and I think most of the viewers know.
Speaker 1: I know you went and did file files, so I'm
Speaker 1: sure you talked a little more on that, but yeah,
Speaker 1: you want to catch us up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that time period of my life was a whirlwind.
Speaker 3: Just like you said, I left with Avon on the show.
Speaker 3: It didn't really look like we were happy. We just
Speaker 3: had some we had indifferences about kind of our ending
Speaker 3: when it came to the show, but we still decided
Speaker 3: to leave with each other as like boyfriend girlfriend. We
Speaker 3: I think it was like a six month time period
Speaker 3: in between filming and the very end of the show.
Speaker 3: We were a strong couple, as strong as we could be.
Speaker 3: Because we were doing long distance. I had not yet
Speaker 3: moved to San Diego. I was still in Charlotte, he
Speaker 3: was here, and then we would make it a point
Speaker 3: to try to see each other at least once per month,
Speaker 3: and we did a really good job with that. And
Speaker 3: then unfortunately I did find out that news, and it
Speaker 3: kind of felt like everything was just like stripped away
Speaker 3: from me and I was having to start from scratch.
Speaker 3: I haven't I'm not really seasoned when it comes to
Speaker 3: being in relationships. Aside from Avan, I only had one
Speaker 3: other boyfriend and that was six years ago. So obviously
Speaker 3: I've talked to guys, I've dated around, but never really
Speaker 3: been serious with anyone other than those two men, and
Speaker 3: so I've never been cheated on before. This was the
Speaker 3: first time. So having that happened to you was already
Speaker 3: like a gut punch, but then having to deal with
Speaker 3: it on such a public platform that was like, I
Speaker 3: can't even put into words how devastating that was. And
Speaker 3: then I felt like I had to answer to so
Speaker 3: many people because in one breath I was posting that
Speaker 3: you were together, and then we were happy, and everyone
Speaker 3: was texting me congratulations, and then all of a sudden
Speaker 3: I find this out and I'm like feeling I have
Speaker 3: to lie to people saying thank you, and we're not
Speaker 3: together anymore. So long story short, I am in a
Speaker 3: place where I've completely moved past the emotions of finding
Speaker 3: something like that out. I'm trying to be I feel
Speaker 3: like it was a sense, to be very honest with you,
Speaker 3: It's kind of like I had the human emotion of
Speaker 3: like feeling insecure about myself there for a little bit
Speaker 3: because I'm like, well, if he chose to do this
Speaker 3: to me, then there's obviously I'm not enough or there's
Speaker 3: obviously something wrong with me, and I know that's not
Speaker 3: the case whatsoever, But it was just that human emotion
Speaker 3: of like, Okay, is there something I need to do better.
Speaker 3: I have now since grown from that and realized that
Speaker 3: that's not necessarily the case. It was just a character
Speaker 3: flaw on his end. But it's really just putting the
Speaker 3: pieces back together just because I did. We were in
Speaker 3: such a strong place where at the end of it
Speaker 3: that I thought that he was my future, in my
Speaker 3: forever and being having that stripped away from me completely,
Speaker 3: so suddenly I was like, Okay, I got to start over,
Speaker 3: and I will say, I'm not gonna lie moving to
Speaker 3: San Diego. He was a big part of that prior
Speaker 3: to all of this happening. So I had to decide
Speaker 3: one if I was going to continue to move, if
Speaker 3: I was going to ever even be willing to speak
Speaker 3: to him again, Like there were so many different things.
Speaker 3: So that was like my life was a whirlwind in
Speaker 3: December and January, and then I decided to move here
Speaker 3: solely for myself. I wanted to prove to myself that
Speaker 3: I am independent, that I can finally cut the umbilical
Speaker 3: cord from my family and I can do big things
Speaker 3: without them, And then I wanted to experience this with
Speaker 3: my friends. I think right now, speaking on dating, I
Speaker 3: am not in a position to be dating anyone. I
Speaker 3: think that circumstance really just like took everything out of
Speaker 3: me and I can't find it in me right now.
Speaker 3: I know it will eventually come to give myself like
Speaker 3: that to someone else again, So I think it's just
Speaker 3: all about time and allowing myself to fully heal before
Speaker 3: I jump back into something.
Speaker 4: What was that feeling like then moving to San Diego? Obviously,
Speaker 4: like you have your girls there, you have friends, but
Speaker 4: like he lives there right right, So you know, I'm
Speaker 4: now moving to the city where my ex I don't
Speaker 4: know exactly like how you're referring to him label wise
Speaker 4: at that time, but like my ex is living there,
Speaker 4: and like, you know.
Speaker 2: You have mutual friends in the city.
Speaker 4: Like, was there anxiety had you talked to him like, Hey,
Speaker 4: I'm coming into town, we might run into each other?
Speaker 4: Like what was that dynamic like, and how are you
Speaker 4: feeling about it?
Speaker 3: So I was definitely very anxious. I would be lying
Speaker 3: if I said that, even and I still were in
Speaker 3: somewhat of communication, so he knew that I was moving.
Speaker 3: I think he was very anxious too, just because obviously
Speaker 3: he was in a like a place, in a space
Speaker 3: where he wanted to get back together, but he wanted
Speaker 3: to give me time to heal as well. As he's
Speaker 3: been very mature in all of this. He's wanting to
Speaker 3: heal and become a better person himself before he even
Speaker 3: jumps back into anything, So he wanted I think we
Speaker 3: were both scared because we wanted to allow each other
Speaker 3: their space to grow separately before because you know, you're
Speaker 3: in a new city, that comfortability of having someone that
Speaker 3: you were once so close to can easily draw you
Speaker 3: to them, but it wasn't. We didn't want it to
Speaker 3: be a situation where we just like, because it was comfortable,
Speaker 3: we just jumped back in. And that wasn't even something
Speaker 3: that I was considering at the point, but knew it
Speaker 3: could be a possibility because it would have been easy.
Speaker 3: So I think I was definitely very anxious, but we
Speaker 3: had grown conversations where we were like, we just need
Speaker 3: to take this time apart and give each other space.
Speaker 3: I don't I should, a normal human should, but I
Speaker 3: don't harbor any like resentment towards Avan. I was very
Speaker 3: angry with him, especially with what he had done, but
Speaker 3: I just try. I know I can't continue to grow
Speaker 3: and I can't move forward if I don't find it,
Speaker 3: and need to hopefully one day fully forgive him because
Speaker 3: it's just not allowing me to fully, fully move past
Speaker 3: that and fully be a better version of myself. So
Speaker 3: it's its not It's probably been one of the hardest
Speaker 3: things I've ever had to navigate in my life, and
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to do it grace as gracefully as
Speaker 3: I can and as responsible as I can, and just
Speaker 3: truly look out for myself because at the end of
Speaker 3: the day, I think I need to put myself above
Speaker 3: everything when it comes to that situation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you say, you know, it's not a normal
Speaker 4: way to handle it, but I really don't think there's
Speaker 4: any normal way to handle infidelity. I think, you know,
Speaker 4: I've been exposed to people in my life experiencing that
Speaker 4: in relationships, and like everyone handles it differently, Every situation
Speaker 4: is different, so you know, don't be too hard on yourself.
Speaker 3: Thank you. It's been really it has. It has taken
Speaker 3: a toll, especially in my mental health. But I've been
Speaker 3: going to therapy. We love therapy, and just really trying
Speaker 3: to move forward and build a life for myself separately
Speaker 3: out here. I want my own identity out here, I
Speaker 3: want my own friends, and I don't want to fall
Speaker 3: into that negative space.
Speaker 1: And I don't think there's anything wrong with forgiving him,
Speaker 1: especially because I think that's that's better on your own
Speaker 1: mental health when you do forgive someone an opposed to
Speaker 1: at least for speaking for myself opposed to holding a grudge,
Speaker 1: because I feel like that negativity will just like linger
Speaker 1: with inside you, and that's I feel like that's not good. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: as of as of today, do you still speak to Even?
Speaker 3: I knew you guys were going to get into the
Speaker 3: integrity of things.
Speaker 2: Well you said.
Speaker 3: No, it's okay, It's okay, So I will say Even
Speaker 3: and I are really good friends at this point. I
Speaker 3: have just been trying to navigate because I've only been
Speaker 3: here in like two months. I recently started my new
Speaker 3: job two weeks ago, so I've been trying to navigate.
Speaker 3: Thank you being here working and like I said, building
Speaker 3: a life for myself out here separately. So we're very
Speaker 3: good friends. We still catch up. I'm still kind of
Speaker 3: encouraging him on his journey of healing, just as I did.
Speaker 3: And I know he kind of brought it upon himself.
Speaker 3: He did receive a lot of hate in regards to this,
Speaker 3: and that took a big toll on his mental health.
Speaker 3: So just kind of healing from that. But like I said,
Speaker 3: I'm not in a space right now to fully comment
Speaker 3: myself in a relationship with anyone, even included, So I
Speaker 3: think we're both just working on ourselves before we decide
Speaker 3: how we would move forward, if that would even be
Speaker 3: a thing, or how we would grow in our separate ways.
Speaker 4: Have you guys seen each other in person, I feel
Speaker 4: like it would be impossible to avoid each other.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we have seen each other in person. The
Speaker 3: first interaction I kind of like took my like it
Speaker 3: was it was a shock, just because I hadn't seen
Speaker 3: him in so long prior to everything happening. Everything is
Speaker 3: very cordial, if I think that's the best word to
Speaker 3: put it. It's such a tricky space to navigate because
Speaker 3: I know my worth, I know what I deserve, and
Speaker 3: so I'm trying not to sacrifice any of that for anyone.
Speaker 3: So if there was ever even like a possibility or
Speaker 3: a chance for us to get back together, he would
Speaker 3: have to completely work on himself and I would have
Speaker 3: to know in my heart of hearts like he is
Speaker 3: a changed person. So I just yeah, yeah, it's just
Speaker 3: a lot. It's a lot to process, and I think
Speaker 3: I talked about this on next podcast, But for me,
Speaker 3: it was really hard because I I don't think I'd
Speaker 3: ever truly loved anyone prior to even so I had
Speaker 3: given so much in myself and invested so much in
Speaker 3: our relationship that's very hard just to like walk away
Speaker 3: from immediately in the drop of the hat. So I've
Speaker 3: just been really trying to give myself grace but realize
Speaker 3: who I am, what I deserve, and kind of just
Speaker 3: hold that to the upmost standard.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So what I'm hearing is the door is still
Speaker 4: open if the conditions were right and the work had
Speaker 4: been done.
Speaker 3: Had been done. Yes, And I don't know how long
Speaker 3: that will take. We could both be in a place
Speaker 3: where we've moved on, we've moved forward before that could happen.
Speaker 3: But I guess what I'm trying to say is my
Speaker 3: main focus right now is not dating. My main focus
Speaker 3: is Kylie and building my career. I'm starting nurse practitioners
Speaker 3: school in August. I just moved to a big city. Like,
Speaker 3: there's so many exciting things happening for me that I'm
Speaker 3: not trying to dwell or put my energy into a
Speaker 3: relationship right now.
Speaker 1: You I know you're saying you're not you're not ready
Speaker 1: to fully date. But if let's say you went out
Speaker 1: with your girlfriends and you're at a bar and you
Speaker 1: meet a guy and you're like really into him, are
Speaker 1: you willing to go on?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Are you willing to go on a date and see
Speaker 1: where things go?
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't think it would be responsible for
Speaker 3: me to do so right now, just because it wouldn't
Speaker 3: be It wouldn't be fair to the other person because
Speaker 3: I in that moment, you know, like lust and desire,
Speaker 3: I could potentially feel ready, but I know in my heart,
Speaker 3: like one, oh, part of it still belongs to my
Speaker 3: relationship with Aban, and I'm trying to recover and heal
Speaker 3: from that and like move on from that because I
Speaker 3: know it's already April. But like I said, I was
Speaker 3: so blindsided by all of this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's no timeline.
Speaker 3: There's no timeline, and trust me, it would be so easy.
Speaker 3: My life would be so much better if I could
Speaker 3: have just woken up the next day after I found
Speaker 3: out now about it and was like, if him, screw him,
Speaker 3: I never want to see him again because then I
Speaker 3: could just like wipe my hands clean and moved on.
Speaker 3: But unfortunately that just hasn't been my healing journey. So
Speaker 3: I don't think it would be fair to the other
Speaker 3: person if I put myself off there right now. Could
Speaker 3: that change next week? Absolutely, But I just I just
Speaker 3: need the time and space to grow, and I'm typically old.
Speaker 3: Kylie would be like, oh, absolutely, because it could kind
Speaker 3: of just feel fill avoid at that point. But I'm
Speaker 3: really trying to be mature and grow, so I think
Speaker 3: for myself right now, what's best for me. I just
Speaker 3: need to focus on me.
Speaker 4: If Paradise was a thing and you were in a
Speaker 4: place where you.
Speaker 2: Felt ready to date, would you go back?
Speaker 3: So I think when it comes to Paradise, I would
Speaker 3: have to the door between Ave and I would have
Speaker 3: to be closed. And then again, I don't know if
Speaker 3: America wants to see me crying every other day of
Speaker 3: the week again, So you would probably have to ask
Speaker 3: America if they're not that avoid with see me, then maybe,
Speaker 3: But honestly, I don't know. I loved Paradise so much,
Speaker 3: Like when Jesse came down the stairs and told us
Speaker 3: that it was over, like I wanted to cry because
Speaker 3: I was so upset, Like no, I'm like Kinnesas forever.
Speaker 3: But the aftermath of Paradise really took a toll on me,
Speaker 3: not just in regards to like the ave and stuff,
Speaker 3: but I did receive a lot of hate. So I
Speaker 3: just don't know if I would want to put myself
Speaker 3: back out there again. But if America would promise to
Speaker 3: be kind, I don't know. It would just have to
Speaker 3: be the right time. I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's hard, that's fair saying.
Speaker 3: I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, like absolutely no,
Speaker 3: but I don't know.
Speaker 4: But it's okay to say, like based on what I
Speaker 4: went through, Like if they were like no right now,
Speaker 4: it's okay, Like we will hold you to it.
Speaker 2: If in a year they asked you and you decide
Speaker 2: to go, we won't hold you to that.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, okay, thanks three.
Speaker 1: So you're really not ready to date, go on another
Speaker 1: dating show, or do anything until the door is fully
Speaker 1: closed with AVA or fully open and the door is
Speaker 1: not the door is not fully closed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think it would be fair for me
Speaker 3: to put myself out there in that way if the
Speaker 3: door was somewhat open with anyone. So, yeah, to be
Speaker 3: respectful to all parties.
Speaker 1: Yes, you're right, I'm going to ask you one more question.
Speaker 1: Then we're going to play a game.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Thanks not to not not at all to excuse even
Speaker 1: of his actions, because I think he was in the wrong.
Speaker 1: But do you think if the circumstances were different as
Speaker 1: far as you met in real life, you didn't meet
Speaker 1: on a dating show and you lived in the same city.
Speaker 1: Do you think do you think he would have cheated that?
Speaker 2: WHOA a crazy question, ask your Joe.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm just well, because we talked about this, so
Speaker 3: I can kind of give you an insight of how
Speaker 3: we navigated that conversation.
Speaker 1: Because I figured that. I figured that because I think
Speaker 1: that is an excuse that most people make that cheat
Speaker 1: that go on a dating show, because the excuse is
Speaker 1: it's not I'm different in a real relationship, like they
Speaker 1: use it as as an excuse. Okay, And I'm just
Speaker 1: curus I'm.
Speaker 2: Curious if he used the distance in the show as
Speaker 2: an excuse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I want to know what. Yeah, Well, her.
Speaker 3: Thoughts, So we actually did. This was one of the
Speaker 3: we had like a big debrief at one point and
Speaker 3: he kind of just kind of came to me with
Speaker 3: I'm not using any of this as an excuse quote unquote.
Speaker 3: I'm just kind of telling you each time that it happened,
Speaker 3: this is where my head's face was at, and so
Speaker 3: there's no excuse for any of it. The like I
Speaker 3: talked about in the bile Flous the first original time
Speaker 3: in July, when it happened when I received the pictures.
Speaker 3: I was a little bit like, Okay, we had just
Speaker 3: got back from the show. If we wouldn't have been
Speaker 3: on the show, we probably wouldn't even be dating at
Speaker 3: this point, probably still just talking, so like, maybe we
Speaker 3: can work through that. But then when I found out
Speaker 3: about the Boston situation, I'm like, Okay, there's no excuse
Speaker 3: for that. Like I can't ever get past this. He
Speaker 3: did say in July, whenever he got home, a lot
Speaker 3: of his friends were kind of like asking him about
Speaker 3: our relationship, asking him about the seriousness of it, and
Speaker 3: he was very excited, and they just kept planting in
Speaker 3: his ear, well, you know, it is a paradise, just
Speaker 3: a paradiselationship. I do you think it's actually going to last.
Speaker 3: So his excuse in a sense of doing what he
Speaker 3: did in July was because he thought that it wasn't
Speaker 3: actually like a lasting relationship. Which I was very taken
Speaker 3: aback by that, because in my eyes, especially even though
Speaker 3: it was early, I never once questioned, oh, we just
Speaker 3: did that for TV. I think him and I went
Speaker 3: to Paradise for very different reasons. I think he of
Speaker 3: course wanted to go and like hopefully find someone, but
Speaker 3: he didn't really hold much weight to that. For myself,
Speaker 3: I didn't care about gaining an extra Instagram follower or
Speaker 3: getting paid like, I didn't care about any of that.
Speaker 3: Like I wanted to find a man. I wanted to
Speaker 3: leave happy, and that's all that was important to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was very evident watching you on the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, clearly. Yeah, And so I think in the beginning,
Speaker 3: for sure, if we would have met in a conventional way,
Speaker 3: I would have been in San Diego, we wouldn't had
Speaker 3: the pressure of distance. Then I would hope he wouldn't.
Speaker 3: But then again, this is going to sound crazy too.
Speaker 3: I think in order for Avan to become a changed man,
Speaker 3: I don't want to speak on him, but in order
Speaker 3: for him to truly become the man that he deserves
Speaker 3: to be for someone, if that's not me, I think
Speaker 3: this needed to happen. I think unfortunately it happened to me,
Speaker 3: but I think he needed to wake up call that
Speaker 3: he did have some character flaws he does need to change,
Speaker 3: And unfortunately it happened on this magnitude, But he had
Speaker 3: the whole world looking at him, and that is what
Speaker 3: has forced him to become a completely different person. So
Speaker 3: I don't know I would hope that if we met
Speaker 3: in a conventional way, he wouldn't have done so, and
Speaker 3: it sucks that he did it to me, but I
Speaker 3: think for him and his personal growth journey, I think
Speaker 3: it needed to happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Cool, I like that. But then it makes you
Speaker 1: answered my question, Well, I think that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Is it? I don't know, it's so long?
Speaker 1: No, No, I think I think it does. I I'm
Speaker 1: also curious too, because I know, like the door is
Speaker 1: still open. So yeah, to me, I'm like, well, if
Speaker 1: the door is still open, you're considering potentially getting back
Speaker 1: with him, But I know you wouldn't get back with
Speaker 1: him if you think that he would cheat again. So
Speaker 1: that's why I'm more curious to think, like, maybe if
Speaker 1: if you did live in the same city, state and
Speaker 1: now it's it's not a relationship off the show, it's
Speaker 1: just different.
Speaker 4: Is that a concern in your mind that is maybe
Speaker 4: holding you back from revisiting that relationship that he may
Speaker 4: do it again.
Speaker 3: I would say so, I I he has changed. I've
Speaker 3: seen just so much growth in him in a couple
Speaker 3: of months that he's been working on himself. So gun
Speaker 3: to my head right now, I don't think he would
Speaker 3: ever do that again, but it's any Like, I feel
Speaker 3: like it would be abnormal for as a human to
Speaker 3: not have that small insecurity in the back of my brain, like, Okay, well,
Speaker 3: if he's going out with his friends without me, like
Speaker 3: what is he doing? Because that one time he did that,
Speaker 3: obviously it led to a different thing. He he would
Speaker 3: give me all of the reassurance in the world right now,
Speaker 3: and he's working to do that. But it's still just
Speaker 3: that human flaw of like thinking, okay, that insecurity of like, okay,
Speaker 3: but what is he doing tonight? I haven't heard from him,
Speaker 3: you know, So it's really hard. I just have to like,
Speaker 3: if I were to want to jump back into something
Speaker 3: like that, I would. It would only be healthy for
Speaker 3: our relationship to fully one hundred percent trust him. I
Speaker 3: can't continue to harbor or bring back what he did
Speaker 3: in the past enable in order for us to move forward.
Speaker 3: So that's another thing. In order for us to get
Speaker 3: back to that place, I need to trust him and
Speaker 3: not have that insecurity anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent. I agree.
Speaker 4: Well, wishing you the best on that journey. Whether the
Speaker 4: door opens back up or closes.
Speaker 2: I just hope that you end up happy.
Speaker 3: I appreciate you. I know, I just wanna. I want
Speaker 3: to be you. Guys. I'm ready just to be settled
Speaker 3: down and just living my best life with my partner,
Speaker 3: so hoping that one day I can get there.
Speaker 6: Well, in the meantime, enjoy the bars with Jess and
Speaker 6: dining in TV.
Speaker 4: Yeah, have fun in Phoebe. Let's play a little game.
Speaker 4: Let's do rapid fire get to know me with Kylie Russell.
Speaker 4: So we're gonna ask you some questions and just the
Speaker 4: first answer that comes to your mind. Okay, perfect, Okay, cool,
Speaker 4: So dream vacation spot. Goodbye, Go to self care mask
Speaker 4: favorite song or artist.
Speaker 3: Justin Bieber.
Speaker 2: I feel like we may have asked you that last time.
Speaker 3: He last time, and I will die say no time.
Speaker 6: Go to drink at a bar, m tequila, pineapples. Favorite
Speaker 6: food or cuisine anything Italian and Mountain Deal and chicken
Speaker 6: fingers and fries.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, I know, Hi was Yeah that too?
Speaker 6: Gold or silver jewelry gold for sure. Wine night in
Speaker 6: or girls night out.
Speaker 3: I'm kind of a lazy girl, so definitely wine.
Speaker 2: D current favorite beauty product.
Speaker 3: I just got into, like the bronzing drops. I don't
Speaker 3: like to wear a lot of makeup at work because
Speaker 3: I don't want to wake up early for that. So
Speaker 3: if I just put some of those on my face,
Speaker 3: it looks like I have makeup and then plus my so.
Speaker 2: You know what I just started.
Speaker 4: I I typically stray away from like skin tints just
Speaker 4: because my skin so sensitive.
Speaker 2: I haven't really found one that like sits well with
Speaker 2: my skin.
Speaker 4: But the first aid beauty bronzing drops are to try.
Speaker 4: Oh good, I put them like if I'm wearing like
Speaker 4: stropless clothes. I'll literally put it like all over my
Speaker 4: cast my shoulders. Yeah, it's really like that.
Speaker 3: And you said it's first eight.
Speaker 2: First aid beauty. That's okay.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go look for it.
Speaker 2: Go to comfort movie or show.
Speaker 3: How to Lose a Guy in Today's a classic on.
Speaker 2: Favorite season.
Speaker 3: Summer. I'm excited for San Diego summers.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it'll be your first time having like a
Speaker 4: full year of summer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so excited. I am. I am quite disappointed
Speaker 3: in the weather. It's been very chilly thus far. I
Speaker 3: always feel like I have to at least have a
Speaker 3: jacket one So I'm ready for like the summer summer time.
Speaker 2: Here, same girl. And then what is your favorite holiday?
Speaker 3: I would say Christmas because that's when all of my
Speaker 3: family gets together.
Speaker 2: Christmas is the right answer.
Speaker 1: Yes, Christmas is the only answer. Christmas. Well, Kylie, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming on bet your Happy Hour again.
Speaker 1: It was really nice catching up with you.
Speaker 3: I appreciate you. We got deep today, but it was
Speaker 3: nice talking it all with you guys.
Speaker 1: Not at the beginning though. The first five talked about
Speaker 1: candy and pretzels and you're talking about And thank you
Speaker 1: to all our listeners for tuning in. Make sure you
Speaker 1: stay tuned in and subscribe because we have exclusive interviews
Speaker 1: every week.
Speaker 6: Yep, don't fore to subscribe, and thanks for listening.
Speaker 2: Bye bye,