WEBVTT - Second Cup: Think could, not should

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to think could, not should. Focusing on what

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<v Speaker 1>you could choose to do helps you see possibilities and

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<v Speaker 1>that might help you make real progress toward your goals.

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<v Speaker 1>A person who reviewed one of my books recently noted

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<v Speaker 1>that I rarely use the word should. Instead. This person

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<v Speaker 1>wrote that I generally aim to show people what they

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<v Speaker 1>could do and how they might benefit. I hadn't thought

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<v Speaker 1>about it that way before, but it is true in

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<v Speaker 1>the strategies I share, and as I think about my

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<v Speaker 1>own decisions, I definitely lean toward considering what we could

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<v Speaker 1>do instead of feeling constrained by shoulds. Whatever those are, anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>could opens up possibilities, While should invites obligation and guilt.

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<v Speaker 1>Possibilities are a lot more attractive and often more helpful too.

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<v Speaker 1>In practice, what this means is that when you are

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<v Speaker 1>facing a problem, you want to generate lots of potential solutions.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe there are ideas that are more common or that

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<v Speaker 1>someone has told you are right, but there may be

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<v Speaker 1>other options too. If you generate lots of possibilities, you

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<v Speaker 1>might decide that some are appealing, which means you are

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<v Speaker 1>more likely to follow through on them. So, for instance,

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<v Speaker 1>let's say you are having trouble sleeping. Lots of advice

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<v Speaker 1>out there suggests not having screens in your bed, and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe that does help a lot of people. But if

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<v Speaker 1>you aren't going to move your TV out of your bedroom,

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<v Speaker 1>then it is not helpful to beerate yourself over that fact. Instead,

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<v Speaker 1>try thinking about all the things you could do to

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<v Speaker 1>sleep better. You could try limiting caffeine and alcohol in

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<v Speaker 1>the afternoon and evening. You could try avoiding screens for

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<v Speaker 1>a half hour before bedtime. You could try meditation, a

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<v Speaker 1>sleep story or another app to help you go to sleep.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you could try melatonin, or you might change the

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<v Speaker 1>temperature or some other such intervention. When you look at

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<v Speaker 1>the list of coods, you might find one you will

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<v Speaker 1>actually stick with. Or maybe you want to contribute more

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<v Speaker 1>to your retirement account. You keep telling yourself that you

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<v Speaker 1>should go out to dinner less, but when it is

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<v Speaker 1>six XO and you're hungry and other folks suggest restaurants, well,

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<v Speaker 1>so it goes What if instead you generated other possibilities.

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<v Speaker 1>You could start a side gig and put half your

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<v Speaker 1>earnings from that into your retirement account. Maybe you'd love

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<v Speaker 1>to eat out, but you don't watch that much TV.

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<v Speaker 1>If so, you could cancel some streaming services and put

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<v Speaker 1>the money you save into the account. When you get

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<v Speaker 1>a raised in January, you could direct all the increase

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<v Speaker 1>to the retirement account. You get the idea. What are

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<v Speaker 1>all the options and which ones sound appealing. No need

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<v Speaker 1>to chastise yourself about what you should do but aren't doing,

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<v Speaker 1>and I am putting the word should in quote marks there. Instead,

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<v Speaker 1>focus on what you could do and what makes the

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<v Speaker 1>most sense in your life. The truth is, as an adult,

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<v Speaker 1>there are very few things that you absolutely have to do.

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<v Speaker 1>There may be consequences to doing or not doing various things,

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<v Speaker 1>but sometimes should is a story we are telling ourselves.

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<v Speaker 1>There are often multiple ways to accomplish the same goal.

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<v Speaker 1>If you are most likely not going to pursue one

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<v Speaker 1>of those approaches with any particular zeal, then there is

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<v Speaker 1>no point feeling hemmed in by it and feeling guilty

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<v Speaker 1>that you are not doing it. Instead, look at all

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<v Speaker 1>you could do that way you put yourself in the

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<v Speaker 1>driver's seat. I hope you feel the same way about

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast I have produced almost one thousand unique episodes

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<v Speaker 1>at this point, all of them with some bit of

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<v Speaker 1>advice on how to take your day from great to awesome. Ideally,

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<v Speaker 1>you view this show as a so of ideas and possibilities,

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<v Speaker 1>not assignments. You do not have to try every tip

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<v Speaker 1>you hear. Some might not be wise for your life,

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<v Speaker 1>and some might just sound silly or unappealing for your

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<v Speaker 1>particular situation, and that is fine. These ideas are options,

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<v Speaker 1>just ideas you could try out if you wanted to.

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<v Speaker 1>If a tip appeals to you, that is wonderful. If not,

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<v Speaker 1>you can let it pass on by. In the meantime,

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<v Speaker 1>this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the

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<v Speaker 1>number four then Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me

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<v Speaker 1>an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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