1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: tip is to think could, not should. Focusing on what 4 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: you could choose to do helps you see possibilities and 5 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: that might help you make real progress toward your goals. 6 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: A person who reviewed one of my books recently noted 7 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: that I rarely use the word should. Instead. This person 8 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: wrote that I generally aim to show people what they 9 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: could do and how they might benefit. I hadn't thought 10 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 1: about it that way before, but it is true in 11 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: the strategies I share, and as I think about my 12 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: own decisions, I definitely lean toward considering what we could 13 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: do instead of feeling constrained by shoulds. Whatever those are, anyway, 14 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: could opens up possibilities, While should invites obligation and guilt. 15 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: Possibilities are a lot more attractive and often more helpful too. 16 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: In practice, what this means is that when you are 17 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: facing a problem, you want to generate lots of potential solutions. 18 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: Maybe there are ideas that are more common or that 19 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: someone has told you are right, but there may be 20 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: other options too. If you generate lots of possibilities, you 21 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: might decide that some are appealing, which means you are 22 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: more likely to follow through on them. So, for instance, 23 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: let's say you are having trouble sleeping. Lots of advice 24 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: out there suggests not having screens in your bed, and 25 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: maybe that does help a lot of people. But if 26 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: you aren't going to move your TV out of your bedroom, 27 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: then it is not helpful to beerate yourself over that fact. Instead, 28 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: try thinking about all the things you could do to 29 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: sleep better. You could try limiting caffeine and alcohol in 30 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 1: the afternoon and evening. You could try avoiding screens for 31 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: a half hour before bedtime. You could try meditation, a 32 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: sleep story or another app to help you go to sleep. 33 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: Maybe you could try melatonin, or you might change the 34 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: temperature or some other such intervention. When you look at 35 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: the list of coods, you might find one you will 36 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: actually stick with. Or maybe you want to contribute more 37 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 1: to your retirement account. You keep telling yourself that you 38 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,519 Speaker 1: should go out to dinner less, but when it is 39 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: six XO and you're hungry and other folks suggest restaurants, well, 40 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: so it goes What if instead you generated other possibilities. 41 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: You could start a side gig and put half your 42 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: earnings from that into your retirement account. Maybe you'd love 43 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: to eat out, but you don't watch that much TV. 44 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: If so, you could cancel some streaming services and put 45 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: the money you save into the account. When you get 46 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: a raised in January, you could direct all the increase 47 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: to the retirement account. You get the idea. What are 48 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: all the options and which ones sound appealing. No need 49 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: to chastise yourself about what you should do but aren't doing, 50 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: and I am putting the word should in quote marks there. Instead, 51 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: focus on what you could do and what makes the 52 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: most sense in your life. The truth is, as an adult, 53 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: there are very few things that you absolutely have to do. 54 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: There may be consequences to doing or not doing various things, 55 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: but sometimes should is a story we are telling ourselves. 56 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: There are often multiple ways to accomplish the same goal. 57 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: If you are most likely not going to pursue one 58 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: of those approaches with any particular zeal, then there is 59 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,600 Speaker 1: no point feeling hemmed in by it and feeling guilty 60 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 1: that you are not doing it. Instead, look at all 61 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 1: you could do that way you put yourself in the 62 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,679 Speaker 1: driver's seat. I hope you feel the same way about 63 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast I have produced almost one thousand unique episodes 64 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: at this point, all of them with some bit of 65 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: advice on how to take your day from great to awesome. Ideally, 66 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: you view this show as a so of ideas and possibilities, 67 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: not assignments. You do not have to try every tip 68 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: you hear. Some might not be wise for your life, 69 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: and some might just sound silly or unappealing for your 70 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 1: particular situation, and that is fine. These ideas are options, 71 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: just ideas you could try out if you wanted to. 72 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: If a tip appeals to you, that is wonderful. If not, 73 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: you can let it pass on by. In the meantime, 74 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 75 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:56,479 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to 76 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 77 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 78 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the 79 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: number four then Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me 80 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com. 81 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 1: That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 82 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 1: Thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch. 83 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts 84 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 85 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.