WEBVTT - Mid-Week Mom (Bestie) Chat: Bri Lundeen. 0:00:00.000 --> 0:00:03.120 Anyway. Oh great, because as soon as you said I'm ready, 0:00:03.160 --> 0:00:08.559 I hit record. Um. So I'm excited about this midweek 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:11.880 mom chat because I'm here as one of my besties 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:18.480 for the Rusty Free Landing. Hey, so we've been quarantining. 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:23.280 We are zoom interviewing right now, and life is just weird. 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:27.840 We're both new moms. Breathe Lundin. It's kind of the 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:32.519 o G of our closest friend group who got pregnant 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:34.559 and had a baby first. So and she's also like 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:37.839 I call her like a little Jackie. Oh, super responsible 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:40.879 and organized and knows all the things, and so she 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:44.440 kind of leads away on what we should be doing 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:48.080 and how things are going with our baby. I looked 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:50.920 to you for a lot of advice. Well, I looked 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:54.720 to you. I don't know everything. Oh you do anything. 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.000 I just love. I like to figure it out, Like 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:00.800 what's gonna work for me? How ill have you figured 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:07.040 things out? Um? I just like a lot of the Internet, 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:10.199 a lot of blogs. Um. But when I find something 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:12.520 I love, you know it because I can't as stop 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:16.319 talking about it, Like I should be paid by a 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:20.160 lot of people to talk about their products, because once 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:22.120 I love it, I love it. So tell me the 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:25.920 things that you found that you just love. I love 0:01:26.319 --> 0:01:30.959 taking care of babies. Oh that that site, it's a website. Yes. 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:34.839 I looked to her for everything if I just need 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:38.759 like a pick me up, or if I'm gonna go somewhere, 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:43.400 like she kind of helps me. This is like mom related, meaning, Um, 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:47.000 I just kind of always looked to her. Um. She's 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:50.320 just such a calming person and she's fun and she 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:55.280 just makes it. She helps bring me, helps to me 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:59.000 realize that it's gonna be. Okay, isn't that what we 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.600 all need have realized as a new mom and someone 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:07.840 who has anxiety, which is myself. Yes, okay, so you 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:12.240 have anxiety to have. Becoming a new mom just made 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.960 me have even more anxiety than I've ever had, because, ay, 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.600 this love is bigger than anything you've ever known. But 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:21.640 you were solely responsible for this child, and I just 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:23.600 got overwhelmed because I didn't know what to do. I 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:25.040 didn't know who to follow it and know who to 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:26.840 listen to it, didn't know what was right. Ever, some 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:28.839 people are doing this, other people during this. Some people 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:30.640 swear by this. Other people say don't do that, And 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:34.280 it's like if you doubt yourself already, which I do. 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:36.359 It's like how do I even know what to what 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:38.160 to do, what to do and who to follow? So 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:41.400 I love that you found someone that spoke to you, 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:43.400 which is taking care of babies. And it's C A 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:47.800 r A Babies. Yeah right, she's from Arizona. But I 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:51.680 found her because you know, it's like some I believe 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:55.720 in seeing signs like me too, Like it just it 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:59.320 felt right. And I remember I was going I had 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:01.440 already found like a couple of months before. But this 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:05.280 was when Poppy was six months and it was Labor 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.320 Day weekend and we were going to go to Christ's 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:11.320 friend's house to watch the Auburn game. And I was like, 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:13.880 the game starts to eight thirty. I can't take my baby. 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:15.280 She has to go to bed, she has to go 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:18.400 to just do that. Like I'm just not going to go. 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.480 And my mom and dad were in town, my brother 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:22.640 and his wife had just come in from California, and 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:24.040 we were all going to go, and I was like, 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:27.320 I'm not going. I can't go. And her post came 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:30.320 up like right on time and said, you cannot put 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:34.120 your life on hold because of your baby, And I 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.240 just I always wanted to be the mom that was 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:39.040 like all right, let's go, and then here I was 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:41.760 six months in and I'm like, like can do it. 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:43.480 I can't do it. I can't do it because I 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:47.800 just was so consumed and like I don't even know 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:49.920 what like looking back, like I know it's like the 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:53.480 new mom feelings, but I don't even know why. Like 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:57.760 my baby is gonna sleep, it's gonna be okay. But 0:03:57.840 --> 0:03:59.920 I was so worried about like getting her off scheduled 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:01.960 because I've just gotten her on his schedule and it 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:06.360 just it's just it's just too much. But taking care 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:08.360 of baby, she's just like you can't you have to 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:09.800 go out and have fun with your friends. You have 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.640 to go out with your family because that fuels you. 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.880 Like you have to find like what keeps me going 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:18.000 as a person, because I can't be the mom I 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:19.600 want to be. I can't find me as a person. 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:26.520 That is crucial business that you just dropped right there. 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:30.600 You if you lose yourself completely as a mom, Okay, 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.560 let's be real. We're going to lose ourselves on some 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.800 level when we become moms. It happens. But if you 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:39.680 it's almost like a rebirth, maybe not losing in oneself. 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.400 It's a rebirthing of like you, this baby is born 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:44.400 into the world, and they say this, the same day 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:46.800 your baby is born is the same day a mom 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:51.400 is born, you know, so we're both being born. Um 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:55.839 me myself. I can't lose that, right, You can't lose 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.800 who you are because if you do, then you're just 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:02.280 gonna spot not you, anyone with a spiral and you 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:06.039 you've gotta you've gotta keep a sliver of yourself in there, right, 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:10.400 And I think it takes finding a long I mean, 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:13.800 it took me probably like ten nine nine, ten eleven 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:18.000 months and to finally realize, like what was fueling me? Like, 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:20.279 of course I love seeing our friends and I love 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.960 you know. I mean, I am a working mom. I 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:27.599 like going to work, like using my brain. Not to 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.200 say that non working moms don't use the brain, because 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:31.800 we all do, but like I like getting out of 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.359 the house and going to do something. You like the 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:37.800 working mentality, You like that feeling in your brain. I 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:40.240 like that feeling too. Some people don't need that or 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:43.560 create that, but I also created that working feeling. Yeah, 0:05:43.600 --> 0:05:47.719 I also live for routine, and so I like m hmm. 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.160 I want to be more flexible and not something taking 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:56.360 care of baby says. She says flexible routines, not rigid schedules. 0:05:56.760 --> 0:06:01.200 But before probably I was very not rigid, like from 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:06.520 nine to ten. We you know, on a good example, 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:08.960 like with before baby, but like we dinner at six, 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.800 like's not I'm not that kind of rigid, but I'm rigid. 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:15.760 Like I map out my day. What does that do 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:19.279 for you when you haven't mapped out? I like to 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:21.120 make lists and I like to check things off my list, 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:26.800 very type a um, but it just helps me kind 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.400 of like manage my day to know that I can 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:33.479 get all my things done. But since being in quarantine, 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:37.479 I'm realized. I I love to have a clean house. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:39.680 I love to do my little things like I like 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:46.600 piddling around. But I'm realizing I could I could stay home. 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:50.279 Not no yet stay at home mom, because I was 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:52.680 just telling you my baby is still going to our 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:56.440 nanny share. But I'm getting to like be in my 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.880 home again and find myself like I painted the other night, 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:04.480 getting to find those things that like make me me again. 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:08.240 I always thought my me thing was going to be 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:12.239 my job, and I'm realizing since not going there every day, 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.000 that I like working and I'm still working from home, 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:17.720 but my job is not that demanding right now. Just 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:20.800 with everything going on in the world, I'm getting to 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:24.840 find more things that fuel me and I'm noticing it's 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.200 not my job like I always thought it was going 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.880 to be. If that makes any sense. It makes a 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:34.880 lot of sense, because there's no way we could ever 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:38.800 fully define who we are because we keep evolving, you know, 0:07:38.920 --> 0:07:43.400 And I think, I think that it's so awesome, Like 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:47.280 you my sister's type, and I interviewed her for one 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.760 of my last podcasts, and it was so fun to 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.160 talk to her because our brains are so similar and 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:55.640 then we're so different and being a type, she said, 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.360 she's kind of the same thing that you're talking about 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:02.520 is she's realizing that she's she lets go of a 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.960 lot of things now that maybe she wouldn't want to 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:08.640 because she realizes that they aren't necessarily essential, but then 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:12.000 she like really kills it on the things that are. 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.000 So I don't know, I mean, I think that I 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:19.000 totally agree with you and the fact that we think 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:21.200 sometimes that we're so wrapped up in a box. Like 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:22.760 I've done that So many times I get to the 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.200 point in my life where I'm like, Yep, this is 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:26.640 who I am, this is what I love, da da das. 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.480 I've reached my spiritual peak. I'm so connected to God, 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.840 I'm like all these things I'm killing. And then I 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:36.600 get hit with a whole new like level of stuff 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:38.440 that I have to that I have to level up 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:40.920 to and change and like evolve into. And it always 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:43.079 like shakes me up a bit. But then it always 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:45.520 reminds me, Oh, why am I trying to define myself? 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.880 I don't know. I think it's I think we put 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:53.440 this pressure on ourself to like figure out why we're here. 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:59.439 So that's a good, that's a good. Why, Like what's 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:02.360 my purpose? Us? Like I always wanted a job that 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:06.520 I always wanted. My my dad was always said, you 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:12.080 don't live to work, you work to live. Yeah, yeah, right, 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:14.200 so you you have to make money so that you 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:18.319 can live your life, so you don't your job doesn't 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:21.160 have to fulfill you. And I just kind of always 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:24.320 disagreed with that. I always thought, no, like, I want 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:28.880 my job to fulfill me. So my very first job 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:32.480 in Nashville was in social work, and I realized about 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:34.480 a year in I just can't do that, even though 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.720 it was like where my heart was, but I couldn't 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:41.560 make that my money making, like how I paid my bills. 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:44.600 How did you realize that I was crying all the 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:47.840 time all the time, and then to add that on 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.880 job of it it was not good where you just overwhelmed, 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:54.120 But what what was making you cry? I couldn't fix 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:57.199 them and help them in every way that they absolutely 0:09:57.240 --> 0:10:00.920 needed and needed my help. So do you carry that 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:04.160 as a burden, Like would you know that something needs 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.400 your help and you have become aware of it and 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.200 you're such a do or do you feel like it 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:11.000 is in your responsibility to save everything that you have 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:16.520 seen like with your eyes. I would like to that's 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:20.720 a lot of responsibility, it is, And I would say 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:24.520 in the last year since since having Poppy, I've been 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:28.920 able to in my lack of sleep. I don't know 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:31.280 how I came to this. I just think in the 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.760 first year of life for a baby, I was looking 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:36.000 at her the other day like she has changed so much, 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:39.600 and I think as women and Dad's too, we changed 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.520 so much along with them that I just in this 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:46.720 last year I just was thinking like I don't. I 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:51.200 can only do so much, you know, like I need 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:53.360 to prioritize my time so that I can be with 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:56.480 her and I can be with my family, But I 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:59.880 know I still want to help others, So I just 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.440 have to pick and choose how I need to do that, 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:05.080 and just know that it's not always going to turn 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:08.559 out exactly how I want or I'm not gonna be 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:09.959 able to do as much as I think I should. 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:15.760 But if I can do a little, maybe that's like 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.280 a trickle effect. You know, maybe someone else will see 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:21.240 me doing this and so they'll pick up or Poppy 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:23.320 will see me doing this and she'll want to help 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:25.720 later on, and then we can help people later on 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:29.760 together or something, you know. Just m how do you decide? 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.720 How do you decide where you want to help? Now 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.960 that you have decided, and I agree with you, you 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.400 have to choose like where you're drawn, where your heart 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.400 is called, because there's no way we can do everything, 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:45.720 like it's just not humanly possible. So I feel the 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:47.600 same as you is I have to really listen to 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:50.600 my heart and be like, where am I truly being called? 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:53.200 And where the doors opening for me to walk through 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.800 to help. How do you know when it's time when 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:58.200 you need to walk through a door and when you 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:02.839 when that's what you want to commit to. Oh, I 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:04.640 don't know. I feel like I walked through a lot 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:08.040 of closed doors. So look are you? Is it your 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:13.400 head hurt for banging your head against the door. I 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:17.240 mean there's something's easy, Like I, you know, as much 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:19.000 as I want to go out and help our community 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:24.600 right now, my it's not as easy as it used 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:28.560 to be. Like I can't just yeah, I just in 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.079 order for me to go even go out to dinner 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.800 with my friends, like it's a whole process of like 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:38.280 getting a babysitter, ready for the ready for her or 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:40.280 this or that, Like it's just a lot of things. 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:43.280 Which there's my anxiety again, like just go it's gonna 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:48.960 be okay, right. I think lately it's just been my friends, 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.400 like I just feel drawn to them to be Like 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:56.960 Amanda is pregnant, Like how can I be there to 0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:00.320 help her? How can I help, you know, some of 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:05.240 her anxieties or just following her lead because not everybody. 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:08.320 Everyone always tells you once you have a baby or 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.000 once you're pregnant, you're gonna hear everyone's birth story, Like 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.240 you don't have to tell everybody your birth story, Like 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:15.840 just wait for someone to ask you about the birth story, 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:18.720 you know, library that's so true. I felt like I 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.960 had to tell every single person my birth story. I 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.280 did a whole podcast on my birth story. I needed 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:27.120 to explain why I made the decisions that I made, 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:29.360 how it all went down, how it all like, like 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.600 everybody even cared. I mean I just thought they all did. 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.560 I mean, it's a big, big experience that we have, 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:41.120 and so it should be told. But with some for me, 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.880 I just try to be really conscious that especially for 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.679 someone a friend that's about to go through it, like 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:50.080 what does she want to hear? Like there are things 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.040 that I will be sure to tell everybody because I 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.319 feel like some people didn't tell me some of these 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.280 things that you need to know. Okay, well you need 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:58.920 to tell us that that's what we need to know 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:02.480 on this podcast. What are those things like when as 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.640 it relates to what you said, there's some things that 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:06.640 everyone needs to know, like what are they like for 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.800 the birthing process, Like the first time they measure your service, 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:15.720 it hurts. I mean, how come no one told you that? Yeah? 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:19.120 That no, I never got measured because wait, you're talking 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:22.920 about when you're in labor. No, like your thirty six 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:27.040 week appointment or yeah yeah, oh my god, no one 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.600 ever tells you that. Yeah, like, be prepared for that 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:36.040 because that hurts. Yeah, like um, the epidural. I know 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:39.880 you didn't have the epidural. With epidural hurts, I mean 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:45.480 your mutters from other things. Now I'm on and I'm 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.760 on the spot. I know the more will come to 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:51.920 me as you have the things that you have. Well, 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.080 there's one that I know you probably don't want to share, 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.840 but no, I'm not going to share it because now 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:07.560 give me a hint. Uh oh, So my birth story 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:13.000 if everybody's dying, dear, never in my life, and I 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.800 had high blood pressure ever in my life. I got 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:20.640 very swollen to day gave birth. I waged almost eighty 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.920 pounds more than I normally weigh. And Bree, everyone has 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.640 to note, Bree is this little tiny thing. You've always 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:28.800 just been a string being. You look like you got 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.520 stung by a bee and it swelled you up. Like 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:35.560 you looked so swollen. It was it was it was 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:37.840 painful to look at you. It was insane. I couldn't 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.320 walk down the stairs, but like I was sipping on glass, yeah, 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:44.920 because it was just so much water. But after I 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:47.880 gave birth, I was induced because my blood pressure was 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:52.680 growing up. At thirty seven weeks, um, my sir, my 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:56.240 blood pressure was still high. My uterus wasn't contracting, and 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:59.560 I was internally bleeding, so they had to give me magnesium, 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.720 which in me go to the bathroom all over myself 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:06.840 for like a few days. It was awful and I've 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:10.600 never passed gas in front of my husband. So was 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:16.720 sprayings lavender's ray. So bring some lavender's bray. Bring some 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.880 lavender spray. Yeah, that's good to know. For the hospital. 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:25.200 Bring a big, big comforter for your husband, yeah, because 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:28.160 that couch is not comfortable. But also sheets and extra 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:30.800 pillows and blankets. It's just too much to bring one 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:38.160 big comforter. Yeah that's true. A power strip. Oh that's smart. 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:43.280 I just thought that one. Yeah that's a good one. Okay, 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.680 but you're going back to I totally side tracked to you. 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:47.120 This is what I get in trouble for with all 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:49.680 my listeners were like, Caroline, your guest is telling a 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.120 great story, and then you rabbit trail them off somewhere, 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:53.360 and I want to hear what they were taking a 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:56.520 rabbit trail because my brain is I'm nervous, so my 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.360 brain is like jumping all over the place, and I 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:01.040 brethe was like, what are we gonna talk about? Can 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:02.440 you give me a brief about this? I've never really 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.560 done a podcast before. I might brief. It's gonna be fine. 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:08.159 We're gonna have like this great conversation. Well, that's the 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:10.560 thing that's what's so cool about this podcast is it's 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:14.080 honestly there's all types of people, but a lot of 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.560 the people on who listen are women. A lot of 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:19.840 them are moms, a lot of them are new moms, 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:21.919 and so it's literally like we're all just sort of 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:25.160 like sharing information and helping each other that on how 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:27.600 to navigate this thing of life as a woman, as 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.440 a career woman, as a new mom, living away from 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.920 your family, like all these things that we go through, 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.719 feeling alone, feeling not good enough, having anxiety, all that stuff, 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:40.000 Like those are the things that we all want to 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.119 talk about because we want support. You know, Yeah, I 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:49.320 mean at least I do. I do too, because I 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:51.840 I know you just talked about mom guilt on here, 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.240 but it's such a real thing, and I feel like 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:57.440 it's even more than just mom guilt. I think it's 0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:02.120 like it's motherhood because I just entered this new phase 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:05.920 of motherhood and it makes me feel guilty that I'm 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:09.240 not there for my friends as much. What is the 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:13.040 new face? It's just say, it's just like this whole 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:16.560 new phase of guilt that we're doing. Oh yeah, Like 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:20.080 I think being a mother like brings it on because 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:23.520 you no longer can be selfish, like it's solely about 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.919 someone else and so then and it's about this perfect 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:31.280 little human being. But also you're not able to then 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:33.520 be you can even be there for yourself, So it's 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:35.239 really hard to be there for someone else, which is 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:37.199 my love language is I want to be there for 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:39.600 other people, Like I was telling you right when you 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:43.080 had Sunny, Like I we talked on the phone so 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:44.840 much while you were pregnant, and then you had her, 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.720 and my baby is like finally up and crawling and 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:50.600 moving everywhere, and I feel like I couldn't really even 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.919 be there for you as a new mom because I 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:57.200 am dealing with all my my new mom this, if 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:00.240 that makes sense. So I think it's the guilt of like, okay, 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:03.199 of a lot of things, like even like with your 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:07.320 husband or with your parents or just I think as women, 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:12.080 we put that pressure on ourselves. But I think this 0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:14.520 in this new day and age, which is awesome, is 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:17.840 that we're all kind of realizing, even though we still 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:21.200 have the guilt, that you're feeling it too. I'm feeling 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:24.440 it too. Can we just all agree that it's okay? Yeah, 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:26.840 And I'm not mad at you for it. You don't, 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:30.680 don't be mad with me for it, like just honestly, 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:35.720 it will It relieves me that you say that, I mean, 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:37.480 I don't want you to have mom guilt, but that 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:40.000 you say, like I feel guilty for not getting to 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:43.600 be there for you, because that relieves me. Because I 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.840 can't be there for anyone either, I mean literally learn. 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:50.000 I am trying, and I'm trying to do more like 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:52.320 phone calls here and there, especially now that we're all 0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:55.439 on quarantine. Like I'm trying to like zoom with some 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:57.719 friends and like set up some fun zoom dates and 0:19:57.760 --> 0:20:00.720 like try to like call friends to catch up. But 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:04.080 like when you have a baby that you're chasing around 0:20:04.160 --> 0:20:07.080 all day or feeding or doing whatever, or throw working 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:09.800 on top of it. Oh my god, how And then 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:12.560 you're trying to be a good wife, take care of 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:14.680 your house, you want to catch up with your siblings 0:20:14.720 --> 0:20:16.520 and your parents, and then if you have to hit 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:18.439 a family and then all of a sudden, you're trying 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.879 to Like I used to go to so many parties 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.359 and all sorts of stuff and advance, I'll go out 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:24.919 all the time. Now I'm like, oh my god, I 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:31.000 can't go anywhere. No, I can't. And I mean I 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:34.200 think that this quarantine. I think it's terrible what's happening 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:36.399 in the world. But I think for that reason, like 0:20:36.520 --> 0:20:39.000 zoom has always been here. Yeah, we just need to 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:42.159 utilize it more, Like had I even thought about it. 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:45.480 I know there's space time, but FaceTime still hard because it's, yeah, 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:48.280 like you have your phone and the second I pulled 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:50.280 the phone out probably is like trying to grab it, 0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:52.239 like it's I'm almost like, all right, I gotta go, 0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:54.199 Like if she hangs up on you, was sorry, like 0:20:54.280 --> 0:20:55.960 I'm just gonna put it down. But I feel like 0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:59.199 if I had had zoom, even though we did, we 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:03.360 just didn't realize it. Like back when Sonny was two 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:05.080 months or three months, like we would have been able 0:21:05.119 --> 0:21:08.080 to do this like you how many times a day 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:10.480 and I'm pumping or I'm feeding, Like why couldn't we 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:15.000 have been like sitting here together, Like well, I think 0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:18.200 that's what I think. That's what's great about the quarantine 0:21:18.240 --> 0:21:21.080 Also is we're realizing that we can't connect via all 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:28.080 the incredible um social whatever this is called the Way platform. Yeah, 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:30.280 like zoom, Like this is great, Like and I feel 0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:32.399 so filled up after I have this conversation with you 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:33.840 because I'm like, Okay, I really got to talk to 0:21:33.880 --> 0:21:36.240 my friend free. But we didn't have to like stop 0:21:36.240 --> 0:21:38.920 our lives and leave everything and like drive thirty is 0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:41.199 there thirty months back? Unload load all that. You know, 0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:43.560