Speaker 1: You sound resentful towards getting better. You sound you sound
Speaker 1: resentful to biblical teaching. You sound mildly resentful towards me.
Speaker 1: What's up? Everybody? Welcome to the podcast? Is episode one
Speaker 1: oh one. Are we a legit podcast? Now that we're
Speaker 1: past one hundred? Do you think? Yes? This is episode
Speaker 1: number one from my friend who apparently does not listen
Speaker 1: to podcasts until they've had one hundred episodes. My guest
Speaker 1: today my little brother, Parker Smith. You could follow them
Speaker 1: on TikTok Parker Underscore Underscore Smith is that right? Oh? Sure?
Speaker 1: Has a viral TikTok and a lot of a lot
Speaker 1: of these viral tiktoks have been from this podcast that
Speaker 1: I post of us talking about out your questions, and
Speaker 1: that's what we do on this podcast. We answer your questions.
Speaker 1: If you have anything that you'd ever like to ask,
Speaker 1: you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Me and
Speaker 1: my guest will answer it as though we're sitting in
Speaker 1: the truck and you have a question and you say, man,
Speaker 1: can I run something by you guys, And in a
Speaker 1: very casual way, I would answer it like we're best buds,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, if I were in your shoes.
Speaker 1: This is my advice to you. It's not always right,
Speaker 1: but it is a casual form of giving you advice
Speaker 1: that I would give a friend. And the guests that
Speaker 1: I have on here are the same people that I
Speaker 1: use in my life when I need a question answered,
Speaker 1: which is important because I want to share that with
Speaker 1: you guys, and that's the purpose of this podcast, and
Speaker 1: I want to dive in today episode one oh one
Speaker 1: with the first question. It says, Hey, Granger, my name
Speaker 1: is Corey Furman from York County, Pennsylvania. Shout out to Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old. I'm a youth pastor at LCBC Church.
Speaker 1: It says parentheses, You're always welcome to our fifteen locations.
Speaker 1: By the way, my question for you is this, What
Speaker 1: is one routine that it has stuck with you from
Speaker 1: your church or from Bible study that still holds up
Speaker 1: like a Detroit engine that you continue to do every
Speaker 1: day in your life. Says keep on being you, Corey Furman.
Speaker 1: The subject line of this is routine, routine, routine, and
Speaker 1: that is something that me and you and our other
Speaker 1: brother Tyler have studied and tried so hard to adapt
Speaker 1: and perfect and create a routine, because so much of
Speaker 1: life is routine, and that could be good or bad.
Speaker 1: You could make bad habits a routine. In fact, it's
Speaker 1: a lot easier to make a bad habit become a
Speaker 1: routine without you even knowing it, and you could fall
Speaker 1: into the trap of getting your bad habits becoming a machine,
Speaker 1: you know, becoming a routine machine in your brain, and
Speaker 1: then you get trapped, and then it takes a long
Speaker 1: time to find your way out of that trap. Is
Speaker 1: there anything Parker, that you have created in the last
Speaker 1: few years of routine that is worth sticking to and
Speaker 1: what would you say to Corey in his question. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of things that come to mind, but the
Speaker 1: first one that has been really beneficial to me. And
Speaker 1: I'd be interested to get your thoughts on this because
Speaker 1: it gets mixed feelings from people who think that this
Speaker 1: is irresponsible. But I started sleeping with my phone in
Speaker 1: the kitchen and about I start winding down in the
Speaker 1: evening around nine pm, and so right before I go there,
Speaker 1: I'll put my phone in the kitchen and then that
Speaker 1: like next thirty minutes to an hour is like my
Speaker 1: time to go into my room, get ready for bed,
Speaker 1: I'll pray and then I'll read and then it's honestly,
Speaker 1: when I go my room and I close that door,
Speaker 1: it's just such a relief not even having my phone
Speaker 1: anywhere near me or there to tempt me with getting
Speaker 1: on and scrolling social media. I'm sure that there are
Speaker 1: less drastic ways to do this, but it's worked for
Speaker 1: me as a unmarried twenty eight year old that may
Speaker 1: not need to wake up in the middle of the
Speaker 1: night for an urgent call. Well, do you say it's
Speaker 1: irresponsible because of the fact that somebody might be calling
Speaker 1: you with something urgent and people are like, how could
Speaker 1: you do that? What if someone needs you in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. Yeah, that's a that's a reflection
Speaker 1: of our culture that we think that we think that
Speaker 1: the reason we need to keep a phone next to
Speaker 1: us is just in case someone really needs to get
Speaker 1: a hold of us, And I don't think that's always
Speaker 1: the reason. That's a reason, then that's a justifiable reason,
Speaker 1: But I think the truth is we love our phones,
Speaker 1: We're addicted to them, and we'd like to we'd like
Speaker 1: to have them close to us at all times. It's
Speaker 1: the way it sues this to sleep at night. It
Speaker 1: gives us our information. We crave first thing when we
Speaker 1: open our eyes, and so to say to sacrifice all
Speaker 1: of that bad habit because it is bad by saying
Speaker 1: I want to be available if there's an emergency, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know if I could justify that.
Speaker 1: And you, guys, if you're watching on YouTube or iTunes,
Speaker 1: comment comment below your thoughts. I do the same thing, guys.
Speaker 1: I do not sleep with my phone in the room.
Speaker 1: And oh, I didn't know. You didn't. No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I it's kind of weird. It goes in my closet.
Speaker 1: I have a little charging station in my closet on
Speaker 1: a shelf, and I have my my power source. And
Speaker 1: after I finish my you know, brushing my teeth and
Speaker 1: take a shower, I go put my phone on the
Speaker 1: charger and we part ways and I don't see it
Speaker 1: till the morning. Then I have I have my phone
Speaker 1: set up where it's on do not disturb, and then
Speaker 1: it will it will kick back on at eight thirty am.
Speaker 1: I am guilty many times of you know, you type
Speaker 1: in the little code to disable that do not disturb
Speaker 1: on all my apps. I can't get to my apps
Speaker 1: unless I type a code in before eight thirty am,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to be on my phone before
Speaker 1: eight thirty am. It should actually be later than that,
Speaker 1: because once you get on your phone, your day has begun,
Speaker 1: or there's a text that you have to react to,
Speaker 1: or an email that you have to react to. And
Speaker 1: sometimes you're in the early morning, you're not ready to
Speaker 1: react to a work related text or some some kind
Speaker 1: of urgent text that someone sent you. At twelve fifty
Speaker 1: eight am, Hey man, we got a problem. You need
Speaker 1: to make sure tomorrow, so you already start thinking about that. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't sleep with my phone either. I do on
Speaker 1: the road, I don't sleep with it either. But I
Speaker 1: do know that on the road Bull my bus drivers
Speaker 1: always driving in the middle of nine. So I know
Speaker 1: that two things. One, if there's an emergency, they're gonna
Speaker 1: call Bull and let him know. Two, if there's an emergency,
Speaker 1: there's nothing I could do on the road immediately, right like,
Speaker 1: there's nothing I could There's no plane I could jump on,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no I get up early anyway. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find out and then I'm gonna deal with it.
Speaker 1: And some of y'all might be thinking that's a little insensitive,
Speaker 1: but gosh, I just can you what's a what's an
Speaker 1: emergency you could even think of. We're getting deep now,
Speaker 1: but say you don't sleep with your phone. What's an
Speaker 1: emergency that anyone on this planet would need you at
Speaker 1: three am to react? Right now? I would say, something
Speaker 1: that I think about is like mom being at the
Speaker 1: ranch and slipping out of the shower or something, okay,
Speaker 1: and then she calls and but she would probably just
Speaker 1: call an ambulance in that situation. So there's not really
Speaker 1: anything that I could do that would be the first
Speaker 1: thing that comes to mind. Or if I had like
Speaker 1: teenage kids that were out and they needed to come home,
Speaker 1: making sure that they got home safe or something like that.
Speaker 1: But in that situation, probably wouldn't be going to sleep
Speaker 1: with my kids out. You have a teenage kid that's
Speaker 1: out of your house, I'm not going to be away
Speaker 1: from my phone. I'm not going to be falling asleep. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be on the couch waiting for them. Right.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a good example. But other than that,
Speaker 1: it's an interesting discussion. I'd be willing to read comments
Speaker 1: and see what people say, but I think it's a
Speaker 1: I think you're right. It's a great routine to set boundaries.
Speaker 1: Let's just put it that way. Set some kind of
Speaker 1: boundaries with your phone, and because that really sets the
Speaker 1: tone for your day. I think the second routine we
Speaker 1: should bring up is waking up at about the same
Speaker 1: time every single day, including the weekends. It's there's been
Speaker 1: so many studies done that if you wake up and
Speaker 1: go to bed at the same time every day, you
Speaker 1: are You're you're far better set up for consistency during
Speaker 1: the day and less anxiety and building an eating routine
Speaker 1: and a workout routine, and a work routine, and a
Speaker 1: relationship routine, and I'll love your spouse routine, and a
Speaker 1: be a better parent routine, be a better buddy routine.
Speaker 1: You're better set up if you're getting if you're getting sick,
Speaker 1: consistent sleep. So how do you go to bed earlier?
Speaker 1: You wake up earlier. So it starts with waking up earlier.
Speaker 1: That's number one. If you set your alarm for say
Speaker 1: six am, you're not gonna be staying up till one
Speaker 1: am anymore. You're gonna be so tired. You're like, man,
Speaker 1: I got a crash. My alarm is gonna go off
Speaker 1: at six, whether I like it or not. I better
Speaker 1: go to bed and then pretty soon then you have
Speaker 1: this this routine of going to bed early. So yeah, Corey,
Speaker 1: I think I think I'll start with that before anything else.
Speaker 1: I would start with reasonable boundaries with your phone and
Speaker 1: a routine set bedtime and wake up time, and a
Speaker 1: lot of things fall into play after those things are set.
Speaker 1: So I have a lot for this episode. One on one.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of questions that I've brought in
Speaker 1: and I have not read many of these. A lot
Speaker 1: of these just came in, Like one of these came
Speaker 1: in this morning at ten am. A lot of them
Speaker 1: came in yesterday. So these are fresh questions. I don't
Speaker 1: have not vetted them. So let me just jump onto
Speaker 1: this one. This one subject is anonymous. Please. It says
Speaker 1: I love watching all the Smith related things. I look
Speaker 1: up to you and Amber as wonderful parents, loving spouses,
Speaker 1: and most importantly Christian leaders. I wish I could be
Speaker 1: the person you repeatedly encourage everyone to be. Episode ninety
Speaker 1: nine has really taken its emotional toll on me. That
Speaker 1: was you right. Multiple mental health issues have led me
Speaker 1: to a miserable life, killed a marriage, and estranged me
Speaker 1: from my one and only child. Hospitalizations, outpatient treatments, multiple doctors,
Speaker 1: suicide attempts, and a zillion medications could not stop sinful
Speaker 1: behaviors that have ruined my life. No, staying married is
Speaker 1: not the best option. She's referring to our episode ninety nine.
Speaker 1: Spouses should not be forced to endure things that even
Speaker 1: the Bible says are legitimate reasons for divorce. So there's
Speaker 1: not really a question in here to Anonymous, Right, I
Speaker 1: didn't really heard. I didn't hear a question, just more
Speaker 1: I'm struggling to I'm struggling to be a better person. Right, Yeah, So, so,
Speaker 1: miss mis Anonymous, without your question, I will just I'll
Speaker 1: comment a little bit and then I don't want to
Speaker 1: spend too much time on it, but i'll comment this.
Speaker 1: You sound. You sound resentful towards getting better. You sound
Speaker 1: you sound resentful to biblical teaching. You sound mildly resentful
Speaker 1: towards me, And I'm not. I'm not putting any fault
Speaker 1: on you because you've you've been through extensive suffering. But
Speaker 1: there's a story in the Bible when there's the the
Speaker 1: man at the healing pool, right, and he's he's been
Speaker 1: there for for decades. He's crippled and he's at the
Speaker 1: pool and he's on his mat. And there's this old
Speaker 1: story in the Gospels, and in this old this old
Speaker 1: pagan tradition, an angel would a would here in the
Speaker 1: pool and through these bubbles. It was really just a
Speaker 1: what do you call it when the earth is bubbling seismic?
Speaker 1: It was like a seismic natural gas from here. So
Speaker 1: they thought in the old in the ancient days, they
Speaker 1: thought that those bubbles coming out of the pool were
Speaker 1: actually an angel. And if you hurried and you jumped
Speaker 1: in the pool and the waters could heal you, and
Speaker 1: you could you could be healed from your being crippled.
Speaker 1: And this this fascinating story in the in the Bible
Speaker 1: where Jesus himself goes to the pool and he's he's
Speaker 1: going after this one man who's crippled and he's on
Speaker 1: a mat and he's waiting for these bubbles, and Jesus says,
Speaker 1: let me just speak in plain terms here. Jesus says, bro,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? And he says, I'm I'm waiting
Speaker 1: on the bubbles the angel to heal me. But every
Speaker 1: time the bubbles come up, everyone rushes around past me
Speaker 1: in the run where they rush down the steps, and
Speaker 1: I don't ever get my turn, and I can never,
Speaker 1: never gonna get in the water. Basically, Anonymous, and all
Speaker 1: due respect, this sounds similar to you. I have. So
Speaker 1: I have problems. Everything's going wrong, and I can and
Speaker 1: everyone is passing me up and having this good life
Speaker 1: and they're encouraging me, but but I just can't do it.
Speaker 1: And Jesus says, it's so profound. But he says, do
Speaker 1: you want to be healed? And he's you know, you
Speaker 1: could just imagine this tension with him, this crippled guy thinking, well,
Speaker 1: I try, but I can't, and Jesus says, do you
Speaker 1: want to be healed? Take me me, Take me, and
Speaker 1: you'll be healed. And so Anonymous, I would say, you
Speaker 1: have you have a story. Everyone does. Everyone has a story.
Speaker 1: You have suffering. Everyone has suffering, You've had hardships. You're human.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I could sympathize with you, but I will
Speaker 1: not empathize with you. And there's a difference between those
Speaker 1: two things. I could sympathize by saying you're in the quicksand,
Speaker 1: and I got one foot on dry land, and I'll
Speaker 1: put one foot in the quicksand with you and say,
Speaker 1: do you want to be healed? If I was gonna
Speaker 1: empathize with you, I would just jump in the quicksand
Speaker 1: with you and we'd both start sinking and hold each
Speaker 1: other and go life sucks. At least we have each
Speaker 1: other to hold. That's empathizing. So I'm gonna sympathize with
Speaker 1: one foot on the dry land and say, anonymous, do
Speaker 1: you want to be healed? Because the Bible offers you
Speaker 1: a way out of this. It offers you a way.
Speaker 1: It offers you hope and peace and joy, and it
Speaker 1: is not going to lead you astray. It will not.
Speaker 1: You can't read any thing in that book that's going
Speaker 1: to lead you astray or be misinterpreted. You say spouses
Speaker 1: should not be forced to endure things that even the
Speaker 1: Bible says they are legitimate. Don't ever say that. Don't
Speaker 1: ever say there's certain things, there's certain things that even
Speaker 1: the Bible doesn't know. Are there certain things that even
Speaker 1: the Bible can't fix? That is not true? And if
Speaker 1: you think that way, then you're you're the person at
Speaker 1: the pool that says, I can't be healed and until
Speaker 1: you could realize I want to be healed, until you
Speaker 1: can come there emotionally, then you can't be It's interesting.
Speaker 1: That's the first thing that Jesus asks, I love this story.
Speaker 1: He doesn't. That's the first thing he asks. He's like,
Speaker 1: let's get right down to business here. Do you want
Speaker 1: to be healed? Because that's the most important question of
Speaker 1: it all. Do you want it to be better? Or
Speaker 1: do you want to stay in your misery or you're
Speaker 1: kind of enjoying wallowing and sulking in your misery and
Speaker 1: your self pity, believing that you're undeserving of Jesus's grace.
Speaker 1: I heard that someone said, uh, they said, if you
Speaker 1: believe that your sins and your suffering is not not
Speaker 1: covered through the grace of Christ and Jesus is sacrificed
Speaker 1: for you, it's kind of the most selfish thing that
Speaker 1: you can do, is believe that you're suffering and your
Speaker 1: sins that not even the Son of God could sacrifice himself,
Speaker 1: and that wouldn't be enough. You're saying now that still
Speaker 1: wouldn't be enough. You don't understand It's exactly right, because
Speaker 1: she says, hospitalizations, outpatient treatments, multiple doctors, suicide attempts, and
Speaker 1: a zillion medications could not stop sinful behaviors. Yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: You're exactly right. I'm sorry that you had to figure
Speaker 1: that out the hard way, but you're exactly right. None
Speaker 1: of those things can stop sinful behaviors. Only Jesus can,
Speaker 1: only complete trust in him, can come to him as
Speaker 1: you are. Christianity is different than any other form of
Speaker 1: religion in the way that we come to Him as
Speaker 1: we are and he fixes us, as opposed to any
Speaker 1: other religion that says I better fix myself, so then
Speaker 1: I'm worthy of God. You're worthy right now, You're ready,
Speaker 1: right now in your state, in your sinful, miserable, wretched state.
Speaker 1: I'm speaking for you and i'm speaking for me, same terms, sinful, miserable, wretched, good.
Speaker 1: You're ready to be healed. So you didn't ask me
Speaker 1: a question to this podcast, you did not ask me
Speaker 1: a question. But I'll ask you one question. Do you
Speaker 1: want to be healed? Do you want to be healed?
Speaker 1: We've gotten default just question too. Let's do a couple
Speaker 1: more and take a break. First year away at college
Speaker 1: seems like maybe a little bit more lighthearted. It says,
Speaker 1: please keep my last name anonymous. Hello, mister Smith. I'm
Speaker 1: a twenty year old kid who grew up in southern California,
Speaker 1: and I'm now attending a college in Chicago to study
Speaker 1: and play baseball. I moved in Friday, August twenty seventh,
Speaker 1: and it's currently September first, and I haven't felt at
Speaker 1: home once. I know that this is a very short
Speaker 1: time to adjust, but it doesn't feel like the right
Speaker 1: place for me, and I'm considering quitting baseball even though
Speaker 1: we haven't even started a single practice yet. I feel
Speaker 1: stressed all the time. I haven't been able to eat
Speaker 1: or sleep a lot. I feel like I'm not the
Speaker 1: only kid going through this, but I would love your advice.
Speaker 1: Thank you again for taking time to answer this, Derek,
Speaker 1: this sounds like a right up Parker's Alley kind of question.
Speaker 1: The first thing that comes to mind is your feelings
Speaker 1: are real. They're there, but that doesn't mean that you
Speaker 1: should trust them. Right Your first instinct being put out
Speaker 1: of your comfort zone is always going to be that fear.
Speaker 1: It's not going to feel homey. The first time you're
Speaker 1: away from home and you're in this strange place with
Speaker 1: all new people, completely out of your comfort zone. Acknowledge
Speaker 1: that and that's okay, But don't fall for just because
Speaker 1: I'm feeling uncomfortable that that means that I should turn
Speaker 1: around and go home. And this isn't this isn't right.
Speaker 1: A lot of times on the other end of this
Speaker 1: is going to be so much wisdom and confidence through
Speaker 1: getting out of your comfort zone going to this new place.
Speaker 1: What a great opportunity. And if after a year to
Speaker 1: three years you're still feeling that way and your gut
Speaker 1: feeling is like this is not right, then that's a
Speaker 1: different conversation. But right now, man, you just got there,
Speaker 1: gonna it's not gonna feel like home right when you
Speaker 1: first get there. Don't trust those feelings. Try to try
Speaker 1: to think and you know the long term and how
Speaker 1: many young men have gone through that same feeling. You're
Speaker 1: not alone, yeah, Derek, Right on, Southern California is not Chicago.
Speaker 1: You're a long way from home. This is a completely
Speaker 1: it's a different climate, it's a different landscape, these are
Speaker 1: different people in the Midwest, is a different mentality than
Speaker 1: you're used to in Southern California. You just got to
Speaker 1: give it some time. Brother, You got to hang in there.
Speaker 1: What just Parker said it right. What you're feeling is
Speaker 1: validated and your right to be to admit your vulnerability.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're not admitting it to very many people besides
Speaker 1: this podcast. But what you're feeling is is normal. People
Speaker 1: are scared to change, man, and you resist it with
Speaker 1: normal to resist a change, and this is a big
Speaker 1: This is the biggest change. Dude. You're twenty years old,
Speaker 1: a completely different environment, first time away from friends and family,
Speaker 1: you're on your own. You would feel this at some
Speaker 1: level if you went to usc just down the road,
Speaker 1: if you went to UCLA just down the road, you
Speaker 1: would feel the same thing. But it's even worse that
Speaker 1: you're all the way out there in Chicago. You can't
Speaker 1: one night you're just feeling like you need some Mom's
Speaker 1: fried chicken. You can't jump in the car and two
Speaker 1: hours you're gonna see her. It's like a big deal.
Speaker 1: You got to get on a plane or you know,
Speaker 1: it's a long way. So what you're feeling is totally justified.
Speaker 1: So but I'm gonna say, fight through it. Hang in there.
Speaker 1: It's like the monkey bars, man, hang on to those
Speaker 1: monkey bars. Just don't let go, and you're gonna finds
Speaker 1: as the It's like you jumped in an ice bath.
Speaker 1: When have you ever taken an ice bath? And you
Speaker 1: look at it and you fear it, and you you're
Speaker 1: you literally sweat just looking at it. And when I
Speaker 1: look at an ice bath, my heart rate goes up.
Speaker 1: I haven't even touched the water. My heart rate goes up,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh man, oh man, this is gonna hurt.
Speaker 1: This is gonna hurt. And you get around and you
Speaker 1: put your hand, you know, you grip the sides of
Speaker 1: the bath, and you plunge yourself in it, and it's
Speaker 1: exactly like you thought. It hurts. It sends your whole
Speaker 1: body into shock. All of your organs just contract. All
Speaker 1: your blood rushes to your central organs to preserve them,
Speaker 1: and everything leaves your extremities and you think you're literally dying.
Speaker 1: And then you hang in there and you battle through
Speaker 1: it and a certain amount of seconds go by. For me,
Speaker 1: literally this is a thirty second deal. You wait about
Speaker 1: thirty seconds. And when I do this kind of thing,
Speaker 1: I literally watch my watch and when I get to
Speaker 1: thirty seconds, I go, oh huh, I'm not dying. I'm okay,
Speaker 1: this is I feel fine. My body's naturally reacting to
Speaker 1: the cold water. And so I would say, Derek, back
Speaker 1: to you, I would say, look at your clock, and
Speaker 1: your case is probably a calendar. Look at this is
Speaker 1: August twenty seventh, when you're writing this, or that's when
Speaker 1: you moved in. I would say, I would look at
Speaker 1: Christmas right, look at the Christmas break and go, okay,
Speaker 1: that's my thirty seconds. It's going to be sooner than that.
Speaker 1: But look at the Christmas break and go all right,
Speaker 1: I got to make it to that, because then I'll
Speaker 1: be acclimated. And you'll notice that every week that goes
Speaker 1: by gets a little easier. You meet your buddies. You
Speaker 1: moved there for baseball, Dude, you haven't even met your
Speaker 1: buddies yet. These are going to be the future best
Speaker 1: friends of your life, probably that you're going to meet
Speaker 1: in this locker room. These are guys you're going to
Speaker 1: go through adversity with. You're going to go through challenges,
Speaker 1: ups and downs, victories and losses. You're going to compete together.
Speaker 1: You're going to meet a girlfriend, You're gonna You're going
Speaker 1: to learn so much about yourself. And who you are.
Speaker 1: And by Christmas time, that's your litmus test. That's when
Speaker 1: you look at the calendar and go, you know what,
Speaker 1: I it's Christmas time and Granger was wrong. I still
Speaker 1: hate it. Maybe, but if you go before then, that's
Speaker 1: like getting out of the ice before you hit thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: Your body never adjusted. You never gave yourself a chance.
Speaker 1: So brother, give yourself a chance. You know. It's even
Speaker 1: more depressing than the being uncomfortable at the very beginning
Speaker 1: in a new place or a new city is the
Speaker 1: thought of the guys who never left and they stayed home,
Speaker 1: and they will always have that regret of staying in
Speaker 1: their comfort zone. Man. Think about that, Derek, think about
Speaker 1: if you hadn't have gone, and the impact that would
Speaker 1: be on the rest of your life. I wonder what
Speaker 1: it had been like if I had gone to play
Speaker 1: baseball in Chicago. Dude, that's such a baseball city too, Chicago.
Speaker 1: You gotta go. You gotta go see the Cubs play.
Speaker 1: There's some people probably screaming White Sox right now, Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: go to that too. Go to a Cubs game at
Speaker 1: Wrigley Field and get yourself a hot dog and a
Speaker 1: big old coke and sit there in riggy Field and go,
Speaker 1: I'm a Chicago resident right now, the southern California boy
Speaker 1: is now a Chicago resident soaking in the American game
Speaker 1: of baseball. Not only am I watching it, I'm playing
Speaker 1: in the city of Chicago. I'm playing baseball. Let that
Speaker 1: soak in for a second. Good question, brother, Let's take
Speaker 1: a break. We'll be right back. Podcast has brought you
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Speaker 1: make sure you eat your greens well. This will ensure
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Speaker 1: with my guest and younger brother and CEO of Euperil,
Speaker 1: Parker Smith, famous on TikTok every time, got to say
Speaker 1: it every time. It's amazing. Your rise on TikTok has
Speaker 1: been pretty remarkable. Tyler talks about it all the time,
Speaker 1: Like anytime we're out with new people, especially in like
Speaker 1: entertainment business, Tyler's always like, uh yeah, Parker, actually, in
Speaker 1: three or four months got eight hundred thousand fans on TikTok.
Speaker 1: I don't think he realizes that the time's going faster
Speaker 1: than three or four months, but you are a viral TikToker.
Speaker 1: He always gets mad at me for not posting more.
Speaker 1: I have a great question to lead us into second
Speaker 1: segment of episode one on one. It says Subdecline says,
Speaker 1: how do I answer this colon? How did God become God?
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer, my name is Al I live in Johannesburg,
Speaker 1: South Africa. I love your podcast and your music, which
Speaker 1: is the highlight of my Monday and every single week.
Speaker 1: Thank you, It says, I never miss a Smith or
Speaker 1: at Ambers arrives. I spend a lot of time with
Speaker 1: amazing young ten year old girl who's part of my
Speaker 1: son's extended family. She asked me the other day how
Speaker 1: did God become God? And despite having faith and being
Speaker 1: a believer, I have no idea how to how to
Speaker 1: answer her. He just is is hard to explain to
Speaker 1: a young person, and I was wondering, how would you
Speaker 1: answer this? Be blessed and many things. Al's a what
Speaker 1: a cool question? How did God become God? How did
Speaker 1: God become God? And this is coming from a ten
Speaker 1: year old that's asking Al this question, and so she's
Speaker 1: basically wanting a form of apologetics a way to help answer.
Speaker 1: But anytime we have to answer a question like this,
Speaker 1: we learn more about our faith in the process of
Speaker 1: rehearsing how we're going to say to someone else. I've
Speaker 1: never had to answer this specific question. But I hear
Speaker 1: what you're saying. You're saying, you're saying. If you tell
Speaker 1: this girl, he just is, it sounds like a cop out.
Speaker 1: It sounds like an easy answer. But the answer to
Speaker 1: how did God become God is he didn't. He always was.
Speaker 1: Now let me try to make that more specific. We'll
Speaker 1: use math, simple mathematics. A ten year old would know mathematics, right.
Speaker 1: I have an almost ten year old daughter. She understands
Speaker 1: multiplication and division and mathematics and algebra. So let me
Speaker 1: put it. Put it in simple mathematics. In the universe,
Speaker 1: if they're ever was nothing zero, then zero times what
Speaker 1: will ever equal something? That's my question. The answer is
Speaker 1: if there ever was nothing, then there always forever will
Speaker 1: be nothing. It's zero times any number is always zero
Speaker 1: every time. If there always was or no excuse me,
Speaker 1: if there ever at any time at any point, if
Speaker 1: there ever was something, then there always was and always
Speaker 1: will be something because one times whatever number is always
Speaker 1: whatever number, zero times whatever number is always zero. So
Speaker 1: if you exist and I exist, that means something has
Speaker 1: always existed. Because we could not have come from zero.
Speaker 1: We could not have come from nothing. So we believe,
Speaker 1: Barker and I at this table, we believe that God
Speaker 1: is what existed before we did. God was the one
Speaker 1: that multiplied to us, which equals the number us, the
Speaker 1: number of all of us and everything. Every star, every moon,
Speaker 1: every galaxy, every rock, every tree, every human being is
Speaker 1: times one. Right. Once again, I'm trying to put this
Speaker 1: in perspective of a ten year old girl. So the
Speaker 1: answer how did God become God? Is only God always
Speaker 1: was God. That's the only explanation because God is one
Speaker 1: times everything. If God, if anything had to become God,
Speaker 1: then it would have been God. And if that was God,
Speaker 1: then something had to have been God before that because
Speaker 1: something has to come from something. Something can never come
Speaker 1: from nothing. I do Okay, Yes, that was a lot.
Speaker 1: I gotta think about that on I think I need
Speaker 1: to rewind that and listen to it again. I heard
Speaker 1: a guy say one time to answer that question, he
Speaker 1: had he had a bunch of blocks. Since I'll have
Speaker 1: a mug in front of me that's sitting on table,
Speaker 1: and they're they're asking where God came from, and he says, Kate,
Speaker 1: the mug is sitting on the table. So I have
Speaker 1: a mug here sitting on the table. What's the table
Speaker 1: on Okay, the table is on this wood floor in
Speaker 1: the house. Okay, Well, what's the house on the house
Speaker 1: is on the earth. What is the earth on the earth?
Speaker 1: Is it just the earth doesn't need a origin or
Speaker 1: like a starting point to support itself. It just is there.
Speaker 1: There's nothing for it to sit on. And that was
Speaker 1: the analogy he used for gotten. Yeah, I would say
Speaker 1: to the ten year old girl, I would say, I
Speaker 1: would say, Babe, isn't it incredible? Isn't it mind blowing
Speaker 1: that God didn't have to become anything? He was already
Speaker 1: perfect and perfection cannot be perfected. Isn't that? Isn't that
Speaker 1: mine wasn't amazing? And just see what she says to
Speaker 1: that good question now and shout out to our fans
Speaker 1: in South Africa. Let me see what else I could
Speaker 1: pull in the old old email vault. If you guys
Speaker 1: have anything for me, it's Granger Smith podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. That's Granger Smith with no I in the Granger,
Speaker 1: part I in the Smith, but no eye in the Granger.
Speaker 1: We used to travel around as in a band. We
Speaker 1: still get still we still did a former life, but
Speaker 1: in the in the days when we were in a
Speaker 1: van and we would pull up to a lot of
Speaker 1: places that had and marquee with the old plastic letters
Speaker 1: that you put in the marquee, and so many times
Speaker 1: we pulled up to the venue and it said Friday
Speaker 1: night Granger Smith with an I in the granger g
Speaker 1: R A I N G E R. And so we
Speaker 1: would we would pull up to the venue, and it
Speaker 1: was like a tradition. We would take the eye and
Speaker 1: then push the push the granger back together, and then
Speaker 1: as a token, as a souvenir for what we probably
Speaker 1: should have got paid at the venue, we kept the
Speaker 1: eye in our trailer and eventually we had like a
Speaker 1: thousand eyes all in the roof, like shoved in the
Speaker 1: rafters of the roof of the trailer. I never heard
Speaker 1: that story. I wonder where all those eyes are now.
Speaker 1: I should probably return them to the right. Fore I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, young Granger was a little more mischievous.
Speaker 1: I was very mischievous before I found Jesus. Here's one
Speaker 1: that just it's very simple. It says help with a
Speaker 1: single sibling. Hey, Granger, and my husband and I are
Speaker 1: huge fans. YE Radio is almost constantly playing in our
Speaker 1: home and garage, and we're rocking EE Apparel often. Thank
Speaker 1: you for all that we've seen you in concert a bunch,
Speaker 1: and we look forward to seeing you in Schenectady, New
Speaker 1: York in September. You're the reason my husband likes country
Speaker 1: music at all. Man, that's awesome. I love to thank you,
Speaker 1: says I wish that that was the only reason for writing. Though.
Speaker 1: My only brother, thirty six years old, lives in Boston.
Speaker 1: He's single, never been married. I'm his youngest sister. I'm
Speaker 1: thirty three years old, and I'm obviously married. Year after year,
Speaker 1: I hear how my brother finds a girl that he
Speaker 1: really likes, but after a few months she always winds
Speaker 1: up being crazy and ultimately not the right person for him.
Speaker 1: He has been on tons of dating apps, but the
Speaker 1: pandemic has slowed dating for him for obvious reasons. I
Speaker 1: always try to suggest for him something different, dating instead
Speaker 1: of just an app, or at least just meeting real people,
Speaker 1: but no matter what I say to him, it turns
Speaker 1: into a massive argument. He's told me he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to hear any more advice on the subject from me
Speaker 1: or from anyone else, family or friends, and wants to
Speaker 1: keep doing things his way. I want to respect his
Speaker 1: wishes and be supportive because he's my brother, but I
Speaker 1: want to see him happy, even though I think his
Speaker 1: idea of dating is the definition of insanity. I appreciate
Speaker 1: any advice. I'm all out of ideas on what to
Speaker 1: do or not to do. Many thanks for the music
Speaker 1: and everything you do. Congrats some of the new baby
Speaker 1: Andrea and Hurley, New York. Shout out to New York Andrea,
Speaker 1: thanks for your question, Thanks for your sweet, sweet words,
Speaker 1: and I cannot wait to see you and your husband
Speaker 1: in Schenectady. Hopefully that the craziness of the world keeps
Speaker 1: that show rocking. Thirty six year old brother single in Boston,
Speaker 1: never been married, and he loves dating apps. I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people could relate to this. I think
Speaker 1: everybody has a close friend or a sibling who is
Speaker 1: making the wrong choices, whether it be romantically or in
Speaker 1: other ways, and you're trying to explain to them that
Speaker 1: what they're doing is not working, but it's just not
Speaker 1: going through their head. You are telling them that you
Speaker 1: know how to help, and they don't want help. What
Speaker 1: do you say to that, How do you help someone
Speaker 1: who doesn't want to be helped. Yeah, it's interesting because
Speaker 1: she says, he told me he doesn't want to hear
Speaker 1: any more advice on the subject from me or anyone else.
Speaker 1: And you said, no matter what I say to him,
Speaker 1: it turns into a massive argument. So what we could
Speaker 1: deal with me and you Andrea is not your brother,
Speaker 1: because we can't affect what he does. But what we
Speaker 1: can control when I say, we like it like we're
Speaker 1: a team here. But what we can't control, Andrea is
Speaker 1: the way you react to him and what you say
Speaker 1: to him and how you treat him, and letting it
Speaker 1: turn into a massive argument is a problem on your end.
Speaker 1: I'm not innocent of this kind of thing myself. I
Speaker 1: struggle with this, and I sympathize with you Andrea in
Speaker 1: this kind of situation. But you don't want it to
Speaker 1: ever let something like this turn into a massive argument,
Speaker 1: because then that just turns his years off. He doesn't
Speaker 1: want to hear anything else from you. He's done with you,
Speaker 1: he's done with the subject, and he wants to just
Speaker 1: go back to what he feels comfortable doing, and that's
Speaker 1: dating crazy girls. So what we need to do is
Speaker 1: figure out how to not make this a massive argument ever.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that one way to approach
Speaker 1: that is stop trying to be right. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it. I'm gonna repeat again what I told you,
Speaker 1: this is I'm not good at this, So what I'm
Speaker 1: speaking is something I need to put into better practice,
Speaker 1: and I think i've I've gotten better over the year
Speaker 1: years from where I was, but still not great at it.
Speaker 1: And that's just going at your brother and not trying
Speaker 1: to be right. Are no more than him, just because
Speaker 1: you're married, and just because you have a great husband
Speaker 1: and he loves yee and country music, which I think
Speaker 1: he's great too. Because of that, that doesn't make you
Speaker 1: better than your brother, or right or more knowledgeable. But marriage,
Speaker 1: you just have been blessed enough to find the right
Speaker 1: guy at the right time, and you tied the knot.
Speaker 1: And so when you're with your brother, it's all about
Speaker 1: loving him and showing compassion and sympathizing with his situation
Speaker 1: and doing Parker, maybe you could have helped me with this,
Speaker 1: but it's like I would suggest doing thirty percent of
Speaker 1: the talking and let him do seventy percent of the
Speaker 1: talking in this kind of scenario, let him answer his
Speaker 1: own questions enough where he realizes there's a problem because
Speaker 1: he's talking and answering his own questions, and so do
Speaker 1: more asking and more listening and less advice giving. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. I don't really have anything to add to that. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're you're in. You're in a boat that a lot
Speaker 1: of people are in, Andrea, and you're just not gonna
Speaker 1: You're not gonna change him or you're not gonna convince
Speaker 1: him of a he's not gonna go. Oh, Andrea, thank
Speaker 1: goodness you told me dating apps are bad, and then
Speaker 1: I shouldn't do that. Thank goodness you told me that,
Speaker 1: because now I'm on a good path, and hopefully, with
Speaker 1: your great advice, little sister, I'm gonna really figure things out.
Speaker 1: It's just it's not gonna happen. All you can do
Speaker 1: is love him and love your husband and show him
Speaker 1: the example of love that you give your husband and
Speaker 1: your husband gives back to you, and just take him
Speaker 1: into your house and listen to him and let him
Speaker 1: do seventy percent of the talking. Yeah, he'll see the
Speaker 1: fruits of your life, and he already knows the fruits
Speaker 1: of his. He doesn't need someone to that. What did
Speaker 1: you say in episode ninety nine? Your actions are so loud,
Speaker 1: I can't hear what you're saying, So that works both ways.
Speaker 1: Your actions are so loud, I can't hear what you're
Speaker 1: saying that works negatively and it works positively. So make
Speaker 1: your actions so beautiful that he doesn't matter what you say,
Speaker 1: because you're showing love and you're showing compassion to him
Speaker 1: and your husband that he wants more that right, we
Speaker 1: got one here. The subject line is not sure what
Speaker 1: to do. This is a recent email. It says, Hey Grangeer,
Speaker 1: I'm sixteen. I'm from Harris, Minnesota. Shout out to Minnesota.
Speaker 1: It says, I know I have a good life, but
Speaker 1: I'm not happy with who I am. I have a
Speaker 1: full time job at a machine shop with ten hour
Speaker 1: days plus overtime when I'm available. I bought my first truck,
Speaker 1: and around the time I turned fifteen, I struggle with
Speaker 1: a huge form of ADHD and a processing disorder. I
Speaker 1: try to hide it as much as I can, and
Speaker 1: I try to get good grades enough to pass my classes.
Speaker 1: But the one thing that I really struggled with as girls.
Speaker 1: And I've tried my hardest to talk to them and
Speaker 1: treat them like they deserve, but I always get rejected
Speaker 1: and I can't figure out what causes me to get rejected.
Speaker 1: How do I get over that. I met one girl
Speaker 1: and she was so beautiful and had a wonderful family,
Speaker 1: and it helped me build up my confidence and helped
Speaker 1: my buddy stopped me. But my buddy stopped me from
Speaker 1: ending it, and she didn't even know I was depressed.
Speaker 1: So please don't sugarcoat this. I won't be offended. I
Speaker 1: listened to classic country. I'm not a fan of new country,
Speaker 1: but I love your music. Thanks for reading this, guys.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry this whole email didn't have one punctuation mark
Speaker 1: in it, so I've kind of trying to figure out
Speaker 1: how to paraphrase. But it's a long sentence. It was
Speaker 1: one long sentence sixteen and he's Parker, this is this
Speaker 1: is You're great at this. He's sixteen, he's saying, He's
Speaker 1: saying grain drum sixteen or from Harris, Minnesota. Wow. He says,
Speaker 1: don't sugarcoat this. I won't be offended. Get it to
Speaker 1: give it to him part I'm sensing. I'm sensing sensing
Speaker 1: some victim mentality. Maybe he kind of started it out.
Speaker 1: He started out with kind of complaining about his job,
Speaker 1: complaining about the long hours, complaining about his ADHD. Keep
Speaker 1: in mind, he said at the beginning, I'm not happy
Speaker 1: with who I am. Yeah, I think that that's that's
Speaker 1: the underlying problem. It's not it's not rejection with girls
Speaker 1: or anything else you want to add on top of that.
Speaker 1: I think that that starts with an honest conversation with
Speaker 1: with himself, looking in the mirror and saying, why am
Speaker 1: I not happy with who I am? I heard someone
Speaker 1: say one time that if someone were to tell you
Speaker 1: to rate your life on a scale of one to ten,
Speaker 1: on a scale of zero being absolutely miserable and depressed
Speaker 1: and a ten being completely fulfilled and full of joy
Speaker 1: on a daily basis, what would you rate yourself? And
Speaker 1: then whatever number you give count down from ten. So
Speaker 1: if you're like, I'm a six right now, then you'll
Speaker 1: subconsciously come up with that number and think of those
Speaker 1: four notches that brought it down from a ten. Those
Speaker 1: are the things you need to work on. So where
Speaker 1: it's like, well, I don't have a good relationship with God,
Speaker 1: I'm overweight, I don't get much sleep, and I'm in
Speaker 1: content in my singleness and I wish I had a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: it's like it's a pretty good indicator a way to
Speaker 1: look at the four things that you need to work on.
Speaker 1: And so I think it starts with him with I notice,
Speaker 1: like if you're constantly in fear of getting rejected by women,
Speaker 1: I think it starts with saying that you're not incomplete
Speaker 1: in your singleness, Like why are you trying to find
Speaker 1: so hard? You're sixteen years old? Like, stop worrying so
Speaker 1: much about getting the approval of girls and start asking yourself,
Speaker 1: what can I do? How can I pursue healthy activities?
Speaker 1: How can I eat better, be a good steward of
Speaker 1: my body and get some exercise. How can I surround
Speaker 1: myself with people who are uplifting and positive? That's where
Speaker 1: I would start. Man, I can't wait to put what
Speaker 1: you just said on TikTok. It's going to go viral.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm here for. Man, I hear you. I
Speaker 1: hear you. Brother? And did he say his name on here?
Speaker 1: Am I not supposed to say his name? He didn't
Speaker 1: say it, so I won't say it. I'll keep him anonymous.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think that the hinge of your whole
Speaker 1: email is I'm not happy with who I am. You
Speaker 1: could have not said anything else. You could have kept
Speaker 1: the email completely blank and said granger, Hey, I'm sixteen
Speaker 1: up from Harris, Minnesota. I'm not happy with who I am?
Speaker 1: What do I do? That would have been good enough
Speaker 1: then for you to go through this list of why
Speaker 1: you struggle with girls, because the girls will not help
Speaker 1: you be happy with who you am. There isn't There
Speaker 1: isn't a magical girlfriend a Cinderella out there that as
Speaker 1: soon as you find her slipper and you put it
Speaker 1: on and it fits her foot and she completes you,
Speaker 1: and then you go, oh, now because I'm met Cinderella.
Speaker 1: Now I'm happy with who I am. It's a miracle. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is crazy. It's exactly what I wanted. That does
Speaker 1: not exist. It does not exist. You have to, as
Speaker 1: Parker said, be content in your singleness first. Be content.
Speaker 1: Be content. That is such a great word. Content is
Speaker 1: a word that we struggle with in today's culture. We
Speaker 1: struggle with being content where we are in our lives,
Speaker 1: what we're doing now in our lives. You're sixteen, brother,
Speaker 1: you're sweet sixteen. You know how many people listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast will go, Man, if I could have one
Speaker 1: do over, if I can go back to sixteen and
Speaker 1: do it over, if I could have a chance to
Speaker 1: have those memories that you could make with your buddies
Speaker 1: right now. So I would lean in to your friends.
Speaker 1: I would lean into some kind of hobby or or sport,
Speaker 1: and we go down this kind of this path on
Speaker 1: this podcast where it's like, man, if you're not athletic,
Speaker 1: then there's there's a chess team, or there's the Civil
Speaker 1: War re enactment team. You know, there's there's always football,
Speaker 1: there's always baseball. Like we talked about in a few
Speaker 1: questions ago, there's there's something in this world for everyone
Speaker 1: to get involved with and meet like minded people. There's
Speaker 1: people in ye Nation that follow me. Brother, you said
Speaker 1: you like my music. There's people that follow me that
Speaker 1: we call them Yee Nation. And I know for a
Speaker 1: fact I've met people that have gone to my shows
Speaker 1: by themselves because no one else around them was like
Speaker 1: minded enough to like country music and whatever region they're
Speaker 1: living in. So they put on their boots and their
Speaker 1: jeans and they go to my concert and they go
Speaker 1: to the front row, and then guess what happens. They
Speaker 1: look around and the people on the right and they're
Speaker 1: left are people dressed like them, that look like them,
Speaker 1: that talk like them, and they become friends with them,
Speaker 1: and they become a unit, and they become people that
Speaker 1: they could count on. And now I have this big
Speaker 1: band of Yege Nation that goes and they travel together,
Speaker 1: and they'll go stay at someone's house that lives in
Speaker 1: another state of some state we're playing in, and they
Speaker 1: meet them at a show, and then they become friends
Speaker 1: and it just grows. So if anything you've got Yege Nation,
Speaker 1: go to a show. I'm not even trying to promote
Speaker 1: one of my concerts. I'm just saying, if you like
Speaker 1: Jimmy Buffett, do that, but involve yourself in places that
Speaker 1: you can surround yourself with other dudes that you could
Speaker 1: find like minded guys where you could build a bond,
Speaker 1: and you build a relationship and you become content with
Speaker 1: being sixteen and doing what you're doing. When I was sixteen,
Speaker 1: I was traveling by myself to George Strait concerts because
Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved the culture, I love the
Speaker 1: people that went to the concerts. I loved watching the band,
Speaker 1: and I was I don't mean to say this in
Speaker 1: a way that I was I had it more figured out,
Speaker 1: because I really didn't, but I was content at that age.
Speaker 1: I was content. So work on that work on how
Speaker 1: could I be content with where I am, with what
Speaker 1: I'm doing right now. Put yourself on that path and
Speaker 1: you'll a girl will come. You'll find that. It's a
Speaker 1: good question though. Yeah, yeah, I'd get involved with the
Speaker 1: church too. If I go back to my sixteen year
Speaker 1: old self, I would beg him. I would tell him
Speaker 1: that there's another life on the other edge of saying
Speaker 1: the prayer at the altar, call it church and accepting
Speaker 1: Jesus into your heart and then thinking you're done. I
Speaker 1: would say, man, there's a whole nother life on the
Speaker 1: other end of that that the world won't tell you about.
Speaker 1: But if you go get involved with your church, you
Speaker 1: start knocking on doors. Uh, that's spiritual doors, asking questions
Speaker 1: to God, digging into his word, seeking wives counsel. That's
Speaker 1: so true about that one prove things. I try to
Speaker 1: balance this podcast with my my extremism in my faith,
Speaker 1: me being a Jesus freak, which I am. I try
Speaker 1: to balance that on this podcast where it's like, even
Speaker 1: though I want to answer every single question in that way,
Speaker 1: I try to balance it where I feel like you, guys,
Speaker 1: if you listen to the whole thing, you're gonna get
Speaker 1: You're gonna get the pulse of who I am and
Speaker 1: what I'm saying without me saying brother, pursue Christ full
Speaker 1: speed ahead, and you'll be You'll be in a place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's kind of I could answer every question that way.
Speaker 1: So yeah, thanks for the question, brother, let's do let's
Speaker 1: do one more. Yeah, we're gonna say I was just
Speaker 1: gonna say, and keep listening to the podcast because it's good,
Speaker 1: great advice for young men. Hey, I love that this
Speaker 1: subject line. One more question here and then we'll let
Speaker 1: you guys get back to your Monday. But this question
Speaker 1: says fearful child grangeer. Hello from Michigan. Shout out to Michigan.
Speaker 1: I have two daughters, Lily, who is nine, and Catherine,
Speaker 1: who is seven. Lily is outgoing and not afraid to
Speaker 1: try anything she is. She is not afraid to fall
Speaker 1: and get back up and try again until she gets it. Catherine,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, is afraid of everything. She got
Speaker 1: a new bike for Easter and is absolutely terrified of
Speaker 1: it because she fell once. She downright refuses to try again.
Speaker 1: She refuses to try pretty much anything that makes her
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. I feel like she misses out on a
Speaker 1: lot because she refuses to try. I feel like we
Speaker 1: have tried everything to get her to do new things.
Speaker 1: What would you suggest, I wonder. I want her to
Speaker 1: experience new things, to have fun, and to be a kid.
Speaker 1: Congratulations on baby Maverick, the kids and I look forward
Speaker 1: to seeing you in October. Blessings, Laurel. So Hey, Laurel,
Speaker 1: thank you for writing. Shout out to Michigan and your
Speaker 1: beautiful family. Thank you for listening to this podcast. It's
Speaker 1: a valid question and I want to want to answer
Speaker 1: it in this way. I want to start with this.
Speaker 1: You have two daughters, Lily and Catherine. You will do
Speaker 1: so well, Laurel, if you do everything you can to
Speaker 1: not compare the two and to not label them for
Speaker 1: who you think they are now, because it can can
Speaker 1: be destructive to a child. Although natural to a parent
Speaker 1: and easy for a parent to label a child, it
Speaker 1: can become destructive if you label them at an early
Speaker 1: age as the outgoing one and the scared one. And so,
Speaker 1: although you should talk about this behind closed doors with
Speaker 1: your husband, don't ever get caught in the car or
Speaker 1: don't ever let your girls overhear you saying in a
Speaker 1: conversation with your friends. This is Lily, she's the outgoing one,
Speaker 1: and this is Catherine. She's I'm sorry, she's just a
Speaker 1: little scared of things. Because they kids will hear that.
Speaker 1: They'll pick up on that, and they will become who
Speaker 1: you presented them as, right, They will become what you
Speaker 1: how you label them as a parent. So as parents
Speaker 1: we have to be so careful to let their little
Speaker 1: spirits go. And when we discipline, we want to, we
Speaker 1: want to. My mom used to say this, and my
Speaker 1: mom's here, I should bring her up for this. She'd
Speaker 1: be great at this question. But she she used to
Speaker 1: always say, when you discipline, you want to break their will,
Speaker 1: but never their spirit. Let their little spirit. It's go, Catherine.
Speaker 1: Her little spirit is ready to unleash. She might be
Speaker 1: a little timid now. That might that might show later
Speaker 1: in life to be something that's very valuable to her.
Speaker 1: She might be the you know, everybody needs a mother
Speaker 1: hen in the group. She might be the future mother
Speaker 1: hen of the college girls where all the girls are
Speaker 1: at the party and they're getting crazy, and Catherine's the
Speaker 1: one that's like, Hey, I want to pump the brakes,
Speaker 1: give me the keys, I'm taking everybody home. Don't worry.
Speaker 1: I'll take care of the I'll take care of everything here.
Speaker 1: I'll lock the doors behind so that might be who
Speaker 1: who she is is already written. It's already. It's in
Speaker 1: her dna, it's in her little, her little body, her
Speaker 1: little spirit is who she is. And so don't don't
Speaker 1: hinder her by breaking her will and saying you need
Speaker 1: to do that. You need to be more like your sister,
Speaker 1: and Laura, I'm not accusing you of saying that, because
Speaker 1: you didn't say anything like that, but I'm I'm cautioning
Speaker 1: against you need to be more like your sister. You
Speaker 1: need to be more you need to be a kid.
Speaker 1: Things get out now. You can gently push her to
Speaker 1: experience things. But when she pushes back to a point
Speaker 1: of tears or or rebellion in any kind of big way,
Speaker 1: then just pull her back and go, babe, it's okay.
Speaker 1: Give her a hug and just go. You're not ready yet,
Speaker 1: you will be. You'll be ready to ride this bike
Speaker 1: one day, because she will. She's gonna ride a bike
Speaker 1: one day. It's like a toddler that's crawling and they're
Speaker 1: like trying to walk. They're gonna walk one day, just
Speaker 1: not right now. So just look at look at her.
Speaker 1: Look at Catherine as a toddler that's just not walking yet.
Speaker 1: So you want to hug her, you want to pull
Speaker 1: her in and just say, baby, I got you. You're
Speaker 1: gonna ride your bike one day. You're gonna be great
Speaker 1: at riding your bike one day. You're just not ready yet,
Speaker 1: but let me know, and I'll keep helping you get
Speaker 1: ready for that moment when you are. But Lily's riding
Speaker 1: her bike. It's okay, You're not Lily. You're very special
Speaker 1: in your own way, and I love that about you,
Speaker 1: and I love Lily and what she does. But she
Speaker 1: see what I mean. You don't want to You don't
Speaker 1: want to pigeonhole them, because what Catherine is a very
Speaker 1: special girl that has a lot ahead of her, and
Speaker 1: she's gonna this is going to be a huge attribute do.
Speaker 1: So it makes sense. I would imagine it would be
Speaker 1: hard for a parent to separate. I'm not saying this
Speaker 1: is the case at all, but I would imagine it
Speaker 1: would be difficult for a parent to separate their their
Speaker 1: selfish ambitions of what they want their children to be
Speaker 1: versus molding them into into encouraging their spirits to be
Speaker 1: who they were made to be. Yeah, and to separate
Speaker 1: that and go, are they genuinely timid and to the
Speaker 1: point where it's going to be detrimental to their mental health?
Speaker 1: Or is this just my unmet expectation for what I
Speaker 1: wanted my kid to be. That's great, my una expectation
Speaker 1: of what I think my kids should be. So here
Speaker 1: we go back into uh, back into the Bible. I would,
Speaker 1: Laura aud I would hit your knees every night, and
Speaker 1: when you pray for your girls, say an extra prayer
Speaker 1: for Catherine and just go God. I I feel like
Speaker 1: Catherine could could be bigger and more outgoing and braver.
Speaker 1: Teach me to be the mother that she needs. To
Speaker 1: encourage her in that way. Teach me to be the
Speaker 1: mother that encourages in a positive way and not a
Speaker 1: negative way. Don't let me be overbearing. Let me be
Speaker 1: the mother that helps her spirit grow to who she's
Speaker 1: supposed to be. And then parenting is hard. Parenting is
Speaker 1: tough because you got to pay attention, you got to watch,
Speaker 1: you gotta research, you got to watch Catherine at every step,
Speaker 1: and you got to know you have to discern when
Speaker 1: her when her mind is capable of going one more
Speaker 1: step and you got and she needs to get her
Speaker 1: knees dirty a little bit, she needs to skin her
Speaker 1: skin her elbows and wipe off the gravel out of
Speaker 1: her elbows and get back up, and you encourage her
Speaker 1: to do that, or when she actually is hitting a
Speaker 1: wall and she's going too far and this is actually
Speaker 1: hurting her mentally in some way. So that's up to you.
Speaker 1: You got to watch her all the time. But the
Speaker 1: bottom line is her and Lily are not the same,
Speaker 1: so you can't parent them the same. You have to
Speaker 1: parent Lily, and Lily's gonna have her problems too with
Speaker 1: being the outgoing, not afraid of anything. Go get her.
Speaker 1: Oh wait till she gets her driver's license. Good luck
Speaker 1: with that one. You're gonna be glad you have Catherine.
Speaker 1: When these two get their driver's license, you'll be like, oh,
Speaker 1: thank god, Catherine's the safe driver. Right. So you parent
Speaker 1: them differently, but you got to watch them. You got
Speaker 1: to study them. And you want to push Catherine. You
Speaker 1: want her to be brave and experience things, but your
Speaker 1: expectation's got to come down because you've been you've been
Speaker 1: preconditioned a little bit with Lily to what the expectation
Speaker 1: of bravery is at that age. And so with Catherine,
Speaker 1: lower your expectations because she's not that. And then she
Speaker 1: she will be her own person, and then you push
Speaker 1: her to be the best version of her and Lily
Speaker 1: the best version of Lily. But it's a good question,
Speaker 1: it's a valid question. I appreciate you, guys. I think
Speaker 1: we're out of time. But Old Parker, he's a he's
Speaker 1: one of my favorite guests. You always give me viral
Speaker 1: tiktoks on this so appreciate you by Yeah, three in
Speaker 1: a row, Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm always amazed
Speaker 1: at the questions that you get. It's an honor to
Speaker 1: try to help out however I and we can. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you guys have any questions, Grangersmith podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com and we'll see you at episode one oh two. Yegee,
Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
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