WEBVTT - You sound mad at me 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:06.520 You sound resentful towards getting better. You sound you sound 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:14.760 resentful to biblical teaching. You sound mildly resentful towards me. 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:29.360 What's up? Everybody? Welcome to the podcast? Is episode one 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:33.440 oh one. Are we a legit podcast? Now that we're 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:36.640 past one hundred? Do you think? Yes? This is episode 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:39.280 number one from my friend who apparently does not listen 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:43.120 to podcasts until they've had one hundred episodes. My guest 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:46.720 today my little brother, Parker Smith. You could follow them 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:51.120 on TikTok Parker Underscore Underscore Smith is that right? Oh? Sure? 0:00:51.240 --> 0:00:54.040 Has a viral TikTok and a lot of a lot 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:57.160 of these viral tiktoks have been from this podcast that 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:00.920 I post of us talking about out your questions, and 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:03.920 that's what we do on this podcast. We answer your questions. 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:06.560 If you have anything that you'd ever like to ask, 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:11.000 you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Me and 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.000 my guest will answer it as though we're sitting in 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:16.759 the truck and you have a question and you say, man, 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:20.399 can I run something by you guys, And in a 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:24.200 very casual way, I would answer it like we're best buds, 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.520 and I'm like, well, if I were in your shoes. 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.440 This is my advice to you. It's not always right, 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:34.440 but it is a casual form of giving you advice 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.640 that I would give a friend. And the guests that 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:39.560 I have on here are the same people that I 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:42.600 use in my life when I need a question answered, 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:44.760 which is important because I want to share that with 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.000 you guys, and that's the purpose of this podcast, and 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.160 I want to dive in today episode one oh one 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.680 with the first question. It says, Hey, Granger, my name 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:57.240 is Corey Furman from York County, Pennsylvania. Shout out to Pennsylvania. 0:01:57.480 --> 0:02:01.320 I'm twenty years old. I'm a youth pastor at LCBC Church. 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:05.320 It says parentheses, You're always welcome to our fifteen locations. 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:09.440 By the way, my question for you is this, What 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:12.359 is one routine that it has stuck with you from 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:15.560 your church or from Bible study that still holds up 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:19.360 like a Detroit engine that you continue to do every 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:23.280 day in your life. Says keep on being you, Corey Furman. 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:30.080 The subject line of this is routine, routine, routine, and 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.440 that is something that me and you and our other 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:38.760 brother Tyler have studied and tried so hard to adapt 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:43.680 and perfect and create a routine, because so much of 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:48.400 life is routine, and that could be good or bad. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.440 You could make bad habits a routine. In fact, it's 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:53.799 a lot easier to make a bad habit become a 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:58.240 routine without you even knowing it, and you could fall 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:03.280 into the trap of getting your bad habits becoming a machine, 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:06.880 you know, becoming a routine machine in your brain, and 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:08.600 then you get trapped, and then it takes a long 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.280 time to find your way out of that trap. Is 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.959 there anything Parker, that you have created in the last 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:21.880 few years of routine that is worth sticking to and 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:24.839 what would you say to Corey in his question. There's 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:26.520 a lot of things that come to mind, but the 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:30.360 first one that has been really beneficial to me. And 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:32.320 I'd be interested to get your thoughts on this because 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:36.000 it gets mixed feelings from people who think that this 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:40.720 is irresponsible. But I started sleeping with my phone in 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:45.520 the kitchen and about I start winding down in the 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:48.600 evening around nine pm, and so right before I go there, 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.600 I'll put my phone in the kitchen and then that 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.800 like next thirty minutes to an hour is like my 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:55.960 time to go into my room, get ready for bed, 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:59.600 I'll pray and then I'll read and then it's honestly, 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:01.280 when I go my room and I close that door, 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:04.040 it's just such a relief not even having my phone 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.400 anywhere near me or there to tempt me with getting 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.120 on and scrolling social media. I'm sure that there are 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:14.520 less drastic ways to do this, but it's worked for 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:20.960 me as a unmarried twenty eight year old that may 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:22.680 not need to wake up in the middle of the 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.440 night for an urgent call. Well, do you say it's 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:28.359 irresponsible because of the fact that somebody might be calling 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:30.640 you with something urgent and people are like, how could 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:32.080 you do that? What if someone needs you in the 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:37.040 middle of the night. Yeah, that's a that's a reflection 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:42.080 of our culture that we think that we think that 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:43.680 the reason we need to keep a phone next to 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.080 us is just in case someone really needs to get 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:47.920 a hold of us, And I don't think that's always 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:52.000 the reason. That's a reason, then that's a justifiable reason, 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:55.039 But I think the truth is we love our phones, 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:56.919 We're addicted to them, and we'd like to we'd like 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.800 to have them close to us at all times. It's 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.760 the way it sues this to sleep at night. It 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:04.440 gives us our information. We crave first thing when we 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:09.760 open our eyes, and so to say to sacrifice all 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:13.880 of that bad habit because it is bad by saying 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:17.359 I want to be available if there's an emergency, I 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:19.240 don't know. I don't know if I could justify that. 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:21.960 And you, guys, if you're watching on YouTube or iTunes, 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:25.800 comment comment below your thoughts. I do the same thing, guys. 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.320 I do not sleep with my phone in the room. 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:31.640 And oh, I didn't know. You didn't. No, I don't. 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:34.440 I it's kind of weird. It goes in my closet. 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.520 I have a little charging station in my closet on 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:42.839 a shelf, and I have my my power source. And 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:46.080 after I finish my you know, brushing my teeth and 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.240 take a shower, I go put my phone on the 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.279 charger and we part ways and I don't see it 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.799 till the morning. Then I have I have my phone 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:59.440 set up where it's on do not disturb, and then 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:05.039 it will it will kick back on at eight thirty am. 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:08.040 I am guilty many times of you know, you type 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:10.239 in the little code to disable that do not disturb 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:12.760 on all my apps. I can't get to my apps 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:15.400 unless I type a code in before eight thirty am, 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:17.400 because I don't want to be on my phone before 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:19.960 eight thirty am. It should actually be later than that, 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:22.640 because once you get on your phone, your day has begun, 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.840 or there's a text that you have to react to, 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:28.159 or an email that you have to react to. And 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:33.440 sometimes you're in the early morning, you're not ready to 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:38.040 react to a work related text or some some kind 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.799 of urgent text that someone sent you. At twelve fifty 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:44.240 eight am, Hey man, we got a problem. You need 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:48.800 to make sure tomorrow, so you already start thinking about that. So, yeah, 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:53.520 I don't sleep with my phone either. I do on 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:55.720 the road, I don't sleep with it either. But I 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.760 do know that on the road Bull my bus drivers 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:00.599 always driving in the middle of nine. So I know 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:06.360 that two things. One, if there's an emergency, they're gonna 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:12.080 call Bull and let him know. Two, if there's an emergency, 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:17.160 there's nothing I could do on the road immediately, right like, 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.400 there's nothing I could There's no plane I could jump on, 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:25.680 there's no there's no I get up early anyway. So 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:27.720 I'm gonna find out and then I'm gonna deal with it. 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.960 And some of y'all might be thinking that's a little insensitive, 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:36.280 but gosh, I just can you what's a what's an 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:39.520 emergency you could even think of. We're getting deep now, 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:42.200 but say you don't sleep with your phone. What's an 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:45.160 emergency that anyone on this planet would need you at 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:49.320 three am to react? Right now? I would say, something 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:52.240 that I think about is like mom being at the 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:55.320 ranch and slipping out of the shower or something, okay, 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:58.400 and then she calls and but she would probably just 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:01.040 call an ambulance in that situation. So there's not really 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:03.720 anything that I could do that would be the first 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:05.360 thing that comes to mind. Or if I had like 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:09.000 teenage kids that were out and they needed to come home, 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:11.680 making sure that they got home safe or something like that. 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:14.480 But in that situation, probably wouldn't be going to sleep 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.280 with my kids out. You have a teenage kid that's 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:18.960 out of your house, I'm not going to be away 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:20.920 from my phone. I'm not going to be falling asleep. Yeah, 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:24.040 I'm gonna be on the couch waiting for them. Right. 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:29.120 So yeah, that's a good example. But other than that, 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:32.160 it's an interesting discussion. I'd be willing to read comments 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:34.120 and see what people say, but I think it's a 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:38.160 I think you're right. It's a great routine to set boundaries. 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:40.680 Let's just put it that way. Set some kind of 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:46.320 boundaries with your phone, and because that really sets the 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:49.080 tone for your day. I think the second routine we 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:53.559 should bring up is waking up at about the same 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:58.520 time every single day, including the weekends. It's there's been 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.480 so many studies done that if you wake up and 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:04.679 go to bed at the same time every day, you 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:08.880 are You're you're far better set up for consistency during 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:14.160 the day and less anxiety and building an eating routine 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:16.320 and a workout routine, and a work routine, and a 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:20.640 relationship routine, and I'll love your spouse routine, and a 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:24.079 be a better parent routine, be a better buddy routine. 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:27.319 You're better set up if you're getting if you're getting sick, 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.600 consistent sleep. So how do you go to bed earlier? 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.920 You wake up earlier. So it starts with waking up earlier. 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:36.760 That's number one. If you set your alarm for say 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.240 six am, you're not gonna be staying up till one 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:41.160 am anymore. You're gonna be so tired. You're like, man, 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:43.240 I got a crash. My alarm is gonna go off 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:46.520 at six, whether I like it or not. I better 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:48.800 go to bed and then pretty soon then you have 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:52.560 this this routine of going to bed early. So yeah, Corey, 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:54.800 I think I think I'll start with that before anything else. 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:59.480 I would start with reasonable boundaries with your phone and 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:03.880 a routine set bedtime and wake up time, and a 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.760 lot of things fall into play after those things are set. 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:13.200 So I have a lot for this episode. One on one. 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.600 I have a lot of questions that I've brought in 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.880 and I have not read many of these. A lot 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.520 of these just came in, Like one of these came 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:25.800 in this morning at ten am. A lot of them 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:29.240 came in yesterday. So these are fresh questions. I don't 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:34.120 have not vetted them. So let me just jump onto 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:39.280 this one. This one subject is anonymous. Please. It says 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:42.559 I love watching all the Smith related things. I look 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:45.320 up to you and Amber as wonderful parents, loving spouses, 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:49.160 and most importantly Christian leaders. I wish I could be 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:54.120 the person you repeatedly encourage everyone to be. Episode ninety 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:56.680 nine has really taken its emotional toll on me. That 0:10:56.800 --> 0:11:01.200 was you right. Multiple mental health issues have led me 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:06.440 to a miserable life, killed a marriage, and estranged me 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:13.960 from my one and only child. Hospitalizations, outpatient treatments, multiple doctors, 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:19.199 suicide attempts, and a zillion medications could not stop sinful 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:23.200 behaviors that have ruined my life. No, staying married is 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:26.920 not the best option. She's referring to our episode ninety nine. 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:30.439 Spouses should not be forced to endure things that even 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:37.160 the Bible says are legitimate reasons for divorce. So there's 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:41.320 not really a question in here to Anonymous, Right, I 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:44.080 didn't really heard. I didn't hear a question, just more 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:55.800 I'm struggling to I'm struggling to be a better person. Right, Yeah, So, so, 0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:01.600 miss mis Anonymous, without your question, I will just I'll 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.679 comment a little bit and then I don't want to 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:07.240 spend too much time on it, but i'll comment this. 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:16.439 You sound. You sound resentful towards getting better. You sound 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:23.920 you sound resentful to biblical teaching. You sound mildly resentful 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:28.640 towards me, And I'm not. I'm not putting any fault 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.640 on you because you've you've been through extensive suffering. But 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.559 there's a story in the Bible when there's the the 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:41.640 man at the healing pool, right, and he's he's been 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:46.960 there for for decades. He's crippled and he's at the 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.800 pool and he's on his mat. And there's this old 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:55.360 story in the Gospels, and in this old this old 0:12:55.760 --> 0:13:00.640 pagan tradition, an angel would a would here in the 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:04.120 pool and through these bubbles. It was really just a 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:09.160 what do you call it when the earth is bubbling seismic? 0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:13.160 It was like a seismic natural gas from here. So 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.240 they thought in the old in the ancient days, they 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.520 thought that those bubbles coming out of the pool were 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.240 actually an angel. And if you hurried and you jumped 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:21.920 in the pool and the waters could heal you, and 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.240 you could you could be healed from your being crippled. 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.520 And this this fascinating story in the in the Bible 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:33.400 where Jesus himself goes to the pool and he's he's 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.320 going after this one man who's crippled and he's on 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:42.160 a mat and he's waiting for these bubbles, and Jesus says, 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:46.000 let me just speak in plain terms here. Jesus says, bro, 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:49.240 what are you doing? And he says, I'm I'm waiting 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.559 on the bubbles the angel to heal me. But every 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.319 time the bubbles come up, everyone rushes around past me 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.240 in the run where they rush down the steps, and 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.680 I don't ever get my turn, and I can never, 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:06.520 never gonna get in the water. Basically, Anonymous, and all 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:11.160 due respect, this sounds similar to you. I have. So 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:15.680 I have problems. Everything's going wrong, and I can and 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:19.160 everyone is passing me up and having this good life 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:23.280 and they're encouraging me, but but I just can't do it. 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:30.960 And Jesus says, it's so profound. But he says, do 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:35.240 you want to be healed? And he's you know, you 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:40.240 could just imagine this tension with him, this crippled guy thinking, well, 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.840 I try, but I can't, and Jesus says, do you 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:51.680 want to be healed? Take me me, Take me, and 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:57.200 you'll be healed. And so Anonymous, I would say, you 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:02.000 have you have a story. Everyone does. Everyone has a story. 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:08.320 You have suffering. Everyone has suffering, You've had hardships. You're human. 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.000 I'm sorry. I could sympathize with you, but I will 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.400 not empathize with you. And there's a difference between those 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.640 two things. I could sympathize by saying you're in the quicksand, 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.760 and I got one foot on dry land, and I'll 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:25.920 put one foot in the quicksand with you and say, 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:28.960 do you want to be healed? If I was gonna 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:30.960 empathize with you, I would just jump in the quicksand 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:32.720 with you and we'd both start sinking and hold each 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.280 other and go life sucks. At least we have each 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:39.320 other to hold. That's empathizing. So I'm gonna sympathize with 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.640 one foot on the dry land and say, anonymous, do 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:46.440 you want to be healed? Because the Bible offers you 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:50.960 a way out of this. It offers you a way. 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:55.440 It offers you hope and peace and joy, and it 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:58.280 is not going to lead you astray. It will not. 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:00.920 You can't read any thing in that book that's going 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:06.040 to lead you astray or be misinterpreted. You say spouses 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:08.960 should not be forced to endure things that even the 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:12.520 Bible says they are legitimate. Don't ever say that. Don't 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:16.440 ever say there's certain things, there's certain things that even 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.400 the Bible doesn't know. Are there certain things that even 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:25.800 the Bible can't fix? That is not true? And if 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.960 you think that way, then you're you're the person at 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:34.720 the pool that says, I can't be healed and until 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:39.720 you could realize I want to be healed, until you 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:44.880 can come there emotionally, then you can't be It's interesting. 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.840 That's the first thing that Jesus asks, I love this story. 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.520 He doesn't. That's the first thing he asks. He's like, 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.760 let's get right down to business here. Do you want 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:56.960 to be healed? Because that's the most important question of 0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.560 it all. Do you want it to be better? Or 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:01.240 do you want to stay in your misery or you're 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:04.480 kind of enjoying wallowing and sulking in your misery and 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:09.920 your self pity, believing that you're undeserving of Jesus's grace. 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:14.879 I heard that someone said, uh, they said, if you 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:19.040 believe that your sins and your suffering is not not 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:23.040 covered through the grace of Christ and Jesus is sacrificed 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:25.040 for you, it's kind of the most selfish thing that 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:27.360 you can do, is believe that you're suffering and your 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:31.080 sins that not even the Son of God could sacrifice himself, 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.040 and that wouldn't be enough. You're saying now that still 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:36.719 wouldn't be enough. You don't understand It's exactly right, because 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:42.520 she says, hospitalizations, outpatient treatments, multiple doctors, suicide attempts, and 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:47.240 a zillion medications could not stop sinful behaviors. Yeah, you're right, 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:52.639 You're exactly right. I'm sorry that you had to figure 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:55.400 that out the hard way, but you're exactly right. None 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:59.879 of those things can stop sinful behaviors. Only Jesus can, 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:03.840 only complete trust in him, can come to him as 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:07.840 you are. Christianity is different than any other form of 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:12.080 religion in the way that we come to Him as 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:16.280 we are and he fixes us, as opposed to any 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.480 other religion that says I better fix myself, so then 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:23.920 I'm worthy of God. You're worthy right now, You're ready, 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:29.080 right now in your state, in your sinful, miserable, wretched state. 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:38.560 I'm speaking for you and i'm speaking for me, same terms, sinful, miserable, wretched, good. 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:41.399 You're ready to be healed. So you didn't ask me 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.159 a question to this podcast, you did not ask me 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:48.679 a question. But I'll ask you one question. Do you 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.600 want to be healed? Do you want to be healed? 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:04.040 We've gotten default just question too. Let's do a couple 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:11.040 more and take a break. First year away at college 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:16.480 seems like maybe a little bit more lighthearted. It says, 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:20.440 please keep my last name anonymous. Hello, mister Smith. I'm 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:23.040 a twenty year old kid who grew up in southern California, 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:26.000 and I'm now attending a college in Chicago to study 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:29.080 and play baseball. I moved in Friday, August twenty seventh, 0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:32.480 and it's currently September first, and I haven't felt at 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:36.520 home once. I know that this is a very short 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:38.880 time to adjust, but it doesn't feel like the right 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:42.720 place for me, and I'm considering quitting baseball even though 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.280 we haven't even started a single practice yet. I feel 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:47.879 stressed all the time. I haven't been able to eat 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:51.400 or sleep a lot. I feel like I'm not the 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:55.520 only kid going through this, but I would love your advice. 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:59.439 Thank you again for taking time to answer this, Derek, 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:03.560 this sounds like a right up Parker's Alley kind of question. 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:08.800 The first thing that comes to mind is your feelings 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:12.800 are real. They're there, but that doesn't mean that you 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:17.080 should trust them. Right Your first instinct being put out 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.760 of your comfort zone is always going to be that fear. 0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:22.520 It's not going to feel homey. The first time you're 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:25.000 away from home and you're in this strange place with 0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:29.199 all new people, completely out of your comfort zone. Acknowledge 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:34.480 that and that's okay, But don't fall for just because 0:20:34.520 --> 0:20:37.000 I'm feeling uncomfortable that that means that I should turn 0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:39.160 around and go home. And this isn't this isn't right. 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:43.680 A lot of times on the other end of this 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:49.880 is going to be so much wisdom and confidence through 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:53.479 getting out of your comfort zone going to this new place. 0:20:53.840 --> 0:21:00.080 What a great opportunity. And if after a year to 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:03.960 three years you're still feeling that way and your gut 0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:06.760 feeling is like this is not right, then that's a 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:09.360 different conversation. But right now, man, you just got there, 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:12.119 gonna it's not gonna feel like home right when you 0:21:12.160 --> 0:21:16.480 first get there. Don't trust those feelings. Try to try 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:21.400 to think and you know the long term and how 0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:23.399 many young men have gone through that same feeling. You're 0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:28.320 not alone, yeah, Derek, Right on, Southern California is not Chicago. 0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:31.879 You're a long way from home. This is a completely 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:35.479 it's a different climate, it's a different landscape, these are 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:38.399 different people in the Midwest, is a different mentality than 0:21:38.440 --> 0:21:40.840 you're used to in Southern California. You just got to 0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:43.480 give it some time. Brother, You got to hang in there. 0:21:43.480 --> 0:21:45.840 What just Parker said it right. What you're feeling is 0:21:45.920 --> 0:21:49.680 validated and your right to be to admit your vulnerability. 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:51.879 Maybe you're not admitting it to very many people besides 0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:55.800 this podcast. But what you're feeling is is normal. People 0:21:55.840 --> 0:21:59.800 are scared to change, man, and you resist it with 0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:03.960 normal to resist a change, and this is a big 0:22:04.119 --> 0:22:06.520 This is the biggest change. Dude. You're twenty years old, 0:22:07.160 --> 0:22:10.840 a completely different environment, first time away from friends and family, 0:22:11.359 --> 0:22:14.679 you're on your own. You would feel this at some 0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:17.359 level if you went to usc just down the road, 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:19.480 if you went to UCLA just down the road, you 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.760 would feel the same thing. But it's even worse that 0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:25.439 you're all the way out there in Chicago. You can't 0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:29.199 one night you're just feeling like you need some Mom's 0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:31.840 fried chicken. You can't jump in the car and two 0:22:31.840 --> 0:22:34.280 hours you're gonna see her. It's like a big deal. 0:22:34.280 --> 0:22:35.679 You got to get on a plane or you know, 0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:39.760 it's a long way. So what you're feeling is totally justified. 0:22:39.960 --> 0:22:43.040 So but I'm gonna say, fight through it. Hang in there. 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.920 It's like the monkey bars, man, hang on to those 0:22:45.960 --> 0:22:49.840 monkey bars. Just don't let go, and you're gonna finds 0:22:50.520 --> 0:22:52.680 as the It's like you jumped in an ice bath. 0:22:54.080 --> 0:22:58.040 When have you ever taken an ice bath? And you 0:22:58.080 --> 0:23:00.240 look at it and you fear it, and you you're 0:23:00.400 --> 0:23:03.320 you literally sweat just looking at it. And when I 0:23:03.320 --> 0:23:05.159 look at an ice bath, my heart rate goes up. 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:07.800 I haven't even touched the water. My heart rate goes up, 0:23:07.840 --> 0:23:10.680 and I'm like, oh man, oh man, this is gonna hurt. 0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:12.919 This is gonna hurt. And you get around and you 0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:14.600 put your hand, you know, you grip the sides of 0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:17.760 the bath, and you plunge yourself in it, and it's 0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:20.600 exactly like you thought. It hurts. It sends your whole 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:23.359 body into shock. All of your organs just contract. All 0:23:23.400 --> 0:23:26.760 your blood rushes to your central organs to preserve them, 0:23:26.760 --> 0:23:30.480 and everything leaves your extremities and you think you're literally dying. 0:23:32.320 --> 0:23:35.640 And then you hang in there and you battle through 0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:38.639 it and a certain amount of seconds go by. For me, 0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:41.520 literally this is a thirty second deal. You wait about 0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:44.040 thirty seconds. And when I do this kind of thing, 0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:47.560 I literally watch my watch and when I get to 0:23:47.640 --> 0:23:53.639 thirty seconds, I go, oh huh, I'm not dying. I'm okay, 0:23:54.720 --> 0:23:58.480 this is I feel fine. My body's naturally reacting to 0:23:58.560 --> 0:24:01.720 the cold water. And so I would say, Derek, back 0:24:01.760 --> 0:24:04.639 to you, I would say, look at your clock, and 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:08.720 your case is probably a calendar. Look at this is 0:24:08.760 --> 0:24:10.840 August twenty seventh, when you're writing this, or that's when 0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:13.560 you moved in. I would say, I would look at 0:24:13.600 --> 0:24:17.359 Christmas right, look at the Christmas break and go, okay, 0:24:17.400 --> 0:24:21.119 that's my thirty seconds. It's going to be sooner than that. 0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:23.760 But look at the Christmas break and go all right, 0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:27.520 I got to make it to that, because then I'll 0:24:27.520 --> 0:24:32.240 be acclimated. And you'll notice that every week that goes 0:24:32.240 --> 0:24:35.800 by gets a little easier. You meet your buddies. You 0:24:35.880 --> 0:24:38.000 moved there for baseball, Dude, you haven't even met your 0:24:38.000 --> 0:24:40.720