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Speaker 1: You sound resentful towards getting better. You sound you sound

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Speaker 1: resentful to biblical teaching. You sound mildly resentful towards me.

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Speaker 1: What's up? Everybody? Welcome to the podcast? Is episode one

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Speaker 1: oh one. Are we a legit podcast? Now that we're

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Speaker 1: past one hundred? Do you think? Yes? This is episode

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Speaker 1: number one from my friend who apparently does not listen

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Speaker 1: to podcasts until they've had one hundred episodes. My guest

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Speaker 1: today my little brother, Parker Smith. You could follow them

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Speaker 1: on TikTok Parker Underscore Underscore Smith is that right? Oh? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Has a viral TikTok and a lot of a lot

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Speaker 1: of these viral tiktoks have been from this podcast that

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Speaker 1: I post of us talking about out your questions, and

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Speaker 1: that's what we do on this podcast. We answer your questions.

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Speaker 1: If you have anything that you'd ever like to ask,

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Speaker 1: you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Me and

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Speaker 1: my guest will answer it as though we're sitting in

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Speaker 1: the truck and you have a question and you say, man,

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Speaker 1: can I run something by you guys, And in a

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Speaker 1: very casual way, I would answer it like we're best buds,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, if I were in your shoes.

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Speaker 1: This is my advice to you. It's not always right,

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Speaker 1: but it is a casual form of giving you advice

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Speaker 1: that I would give a friend. And the guests that

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Speaker 1: I have on here are the same people that I

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Speaker 1: use in my life when I need a question answered,

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Speaker 1: which is important because I want to share that with

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Speaker 1: you guys, and that's the purpose of this podcast, and

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Speaker 1: I want to dive in today episode one oh one

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Speaker 1: with the first question. It says, Hey, Granger, my name

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Speaker 1: is Corey Furman from York County, Pennsylvania. Shout out to Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old. I'm a youth pastor at LCBC Church.

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Speaker 1: It says parentheses, You're always welcome to our fifteen locations.

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Speaker 1: By the way, my question for you is this, What

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Speaker 1: is one routine that it has stuck with you from

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Speaker 1: your church or from Bible study that still holds up

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Speaker 1: like a Detroit engine that you continue to do every

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Speaker 1: day in your life. Says keep on being you, Corey Furman.

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Speaker 1: The subject line of this is routine, routine, routine, and

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Speaker 1: that is something that me and you and our other

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Speaker 1: brother Tyler have studied and tried so hard to adapt

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Speaker 1: and perfect and create a routine, because so much of

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Speaker 1: life is routine, and that could be good or bad.

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Speaker 1: You could make bad habits a routine. In fact, it's

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Speaker 1: a lot easier to make a bad habit become a

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Speaker 1: routine without you even knowing it, and you could fall

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Speaker 1: into the trap of getting your bad habits becoming a machine,

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Speaker 1: you know, becoming a routine machine in your brain, and

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Speaker 1: then you get trapped, and then it takes a long

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Speaker 1: time to find your way out of that trap. Is

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Speaker 1: there anything Parker, that you have created in the last

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Speaker 1: few years of routine that is worth sticking to and

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Speaker 1: what would you say to Corey in his question. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of things that come to mind, but the

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Speaker 1: first one that has been really beneficial to me. And

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Speaker 1: I'd be interested to get your thoughts on this because

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Speaker 1: it gets mixed feelings from people who think that this

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Speaker 1: is irresponsible. But I started sleeping with my phone in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen and about I start winding down in the

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Speaker 1: evening around nine pm, and so right before I go there,

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Speaker 1: I'll put my phone in the kitchen and then that

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Speaker 1: like next thirty minutes to an hour is like my

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Speaker 1: time to go into my room, get ready for bed,

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Speaker 1: I'll pray and then I'll read and then it's honestly,

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Speaker 1: when I go my room and I close that door,

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Speaker 1: it's just such a relief not even having my phone

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Speaker 1: anywhere near me or there to tempt me with getting

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Speaker 1: on and scrolling social media. I'm sure that there are

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Speaker 1: less drastic ways to do this, but it's worked for

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Speaker 1: me as a unmarried twenty eight year old that may

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Speaker 1: not need to wake up in the middle of the

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Speaker 1: night for an urgent call. Well, do you say it's

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Speaker 1: irresponsible because of the fact that somebody might be calling

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Speaker 1: you with something urgent and people are like, how could

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Speaker 1: you do that? What if someone needs you in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the night. Yeah, that's a that's a reflection

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Speaker 1: of our culture that we think that we think that

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Speaker 1: the reason we need to keep a phone next to

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Speaker 1: us is just in case someone really needs to get

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Speaker 1: a hold of us, And I don't think that's always

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Speaker 1: the reason. That's a reason, then that's a justifiable reason,

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Speaker 1: But I think the truth is we love our phones,

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Speaker 1: We're addicted to them, and we'd like to we'd like

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Speaker 1: to have them close to us at all times. It's

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Speaker 1: the way it sues this to sleep at night. It

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Speaker 1: gives us our information. We crave first thing when we

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Speaker 1: open our eyes, and so to say to sacrifice all

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Speaker 1: of that bad habit because it is bad by saying

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Speaker 1: I want to be available if there's an emergency, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know if I could justify that.

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Speaker 1: And you, guys, if you're watching on YouTube or iTunes,

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Speaker 1: comment comment below your thoughts. I do the same thing, guys.

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Speaker 1: I do not sleep with my phone in the room.

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Speaker 1: And oh, I didn't know. You didn't. No, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I it's kind of weird. It goes in my closet.

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Speaker 1: I have a little charging station in my closet on

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Speaker 1: a shelf, and I have my my power source. And

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Speaker 1: after I finish my you know, brushing my teeth and

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Speaker 1: take a shower, I go put my phone on the

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Speaker 1: charger and we part ways and I don't see it

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Speaker 1: till the morning. Then I have I have my phone

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Speaker 1: set up where it's on do not disturb, and then

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Speaker 1: it will it will kick back on at eight thirty am.

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Speaker 1: I am guilty many times of you know, you type

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Speaker 1: in the little code to disable that do not disturb

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Speaker 1: on all my apps. I can't get to my apps

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Speaker 1: unless I type a code in before eight thirty am,

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to be on my phone before

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Speaker 1: eight thirty am. It should actually be later than that,

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Speaker 1: because once you get on your phone, your day has begun,

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Speaker 1: or there's a text that you have to react to,

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Speaker 1: or an email that you have to react to. And

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Speaker 1: sometimes you're in the early morning, you're not ready to

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Speaker 1: react to a work related text or some some kind

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Speaker 1: of urgent text that someone sent you. At twelve fifty

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Speaker 1: eight am, Hey man, we got a problem. You need

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Speaker 1: to make sure tomorrow, so you already start thinking about that. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't sleep with my phone either. I do on

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Speaker 1: the road, I don't sleep with it either. But I

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Speaker 1: do know that on the road Bull my bus drivers

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Speaker 1: always driving in the middle of nine. So I know

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Speaker 1: that two things. One, if there's an emergency, they're gonna

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Speaker 1: call Bull and let him know. Two, if there's an emergency,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing I could do on the road immediately, right like,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing I could There's no plane I could jump on,

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Speaker 1: there's no there's no I get up early anyway. So

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna find out and then I'm gonna deal with it.

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Speaker 1: And some of y'all might be thinking that's a little insensitive,

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Speaker 1: but gosh, I just can you what's a what's an

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Speaker 1: emergency you could even think of. We're getting deep now,

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Speaker 1: but say you don't sleep with your phone. What's an

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Speaker 1: emergency that anyone on this planet would need you at

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Speaker 1: three am to react? Right now? I would say, something

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Speaker 1: that I think about is like mom being at the

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Speaker 1: ranch and slipping out of the shower or something, okay,

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Speaker 1: and then she calls and but she would probably just

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Speaker 1: call an ambulance in that situation. So there's not really

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Speaker 1: anything that I could do that would be the first

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Speaker 1: thing that comes to mind. Or if I had like

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Speaker 1: teenage kids that were out and they needed to come home,

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Speaker 1: making sure that they got home safe or something like that.

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Speaker 1: But in that situation, probably wouldn't be going to sleep

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Speaker 1: with my kids out. You have a teenage kid that's

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Speaker 1: out of your house, I'm not going to be away

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Speaker 1: from my phone. I'm not going to be falling asleep. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be on the couch waiting for them. Right.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a good example. But other than that,

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Speaker 1: it's an interesting discussion. I'd be willing to read comments

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Speaker 1: and see what people say, but I think it's a

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Speaker 1: I think you're right. It's a great routine to set boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Let's just put it that way. Set some kind of

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Speaker 1: boundaries with your phone, and because that really sets the

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Speaker 1: tone for your day. I think the second routine we

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Speaker 1: should bring up is waking up at about the same

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Speaker 1: time every single day, including the weekends. It's there's been

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Speaker 1: so many studies done that if you wake up and

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Speaker 1: go to bed at the same time every day, you

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Speaker 1: are You're you're far better set up for consistency during

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Speaker 1: the day and less anxiety and building an eating routine

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Speaker 1: and a workout routine, and a work routine, and a

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Speaker 1: relationship routine, and I'll love your spouse routine, and a

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Speaker 1: be a better parent routine, be a better buddy routine.

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Speaker 1: You're better set up if you're getting if you're getting sick,

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Speaker 1: consistent sleep. So how do you go to bed earlier?

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Speaker 1: You wake up earlier. So it starts with waking up earlier.

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Speaker 1: That's number one. If you set your alarm for say

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Speaker 1: six am, you're not gonna be staying up till one

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Speaker 1: am anymore. You're gonna be so tired. You're like, man,

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Speaker 1: I got a crash. My alarm is gonna go off

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Speaker 1: at six, whether I like it or not. I better

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Speaker 1: go to bed and then pretty soon then you have

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Speaker 1: this this routine of going to bed early. So yeah, Corey,

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Speaker 1: I think I think I'll start with that before anything else.

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Speaker 1: I would start with reasonable boundaries with your phone and

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Speaker 1: a routine set bedtime and wake up time, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of things fall into play after those things are set.

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Speaker 1: So I have a lot for this episode. One on one.

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of questions that I've brought in

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Speaker 1: and I have not read many of these. A lot

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Speaker 1: of these just came in, Like one of these came

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Speaker 1: in this morning at ten am. A lot of them

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Speaker 1: came in yesterday. So these are fresh questions. I don't

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Speaker 1: have not vetted them. So let me just jump onto

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Speaker 1: this one. This one subject is anonymous. Please. It says

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Speaker 1: I love watching all the Smith related things. I look

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Speaker 1: up to you and Amber as wonderful parents, loving spouses,

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Speaker 1: and most importantly Christian leaders. I wish I could be

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Speaker 1: the person you repeatedly encourage everyone to be. Episode ninety

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Speaker 1: nine has really taken its emotional toll on me. That

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Speaker 1: was you right. Multiple mental health issues have led me

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Speaker 1: to a miserable life, killed a marriage, and estranged me

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Speaker 1: from my one and only child. Hospitalizations, outpatient treatments, multiple doctors,

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Speaker 1: suicide attempts, and a zillion medications could not stop sinful

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Speaker 1: behaviors that have ruined my life. No, staying married is

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Speaker 1: not the best option. She's referring to our episode ninety nine.

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Speaker 1: Spouses should not be forced to endure things that even

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Speaker 1: the Bible says are legitimate reasons for divorce. So there's

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Speaker 1: not really a question in here to Anonymous, Right, I

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Speaker 1: didn't really heard. I didn't hear a question, just more

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Speaker 1: I'm struggling to I'm struggling to be a better person. Right, Yeah, So, so,

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Speaker 1: miss mis Anonymous, without your question, I will just I'll

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Speaker 1: comment a little bit and then I don't want to

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Speaker 1: spend too much time on it, but i'll comment this.

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Speaker 1: You sound. You sound resentful towards getting better. You sound

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Speaker 1: you sound resentful to biblical teaching. You sound mildly resentful

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Speaker 1: towards me, And I'm not. I'm not putting any fault

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Speaker 1: on you because you've you've been through extensive suffering. But

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Speaker 1: there's a story in the Bible when there's the the

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Speaker 1: man at the healing pool, right, and he's he's been

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Speaker 1: there for for decades. He's crippled and he's at the

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Speaker 1: pool and he's on his mat. And there's this old

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Speaker 1: story in the Gospels, and in this old this old

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Speaker 1: pagan tradition, an angel would a would here in the

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Speaker 1: pool and through these bubbles. It was really just a

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Speaker 1: what do you call it when the earth is bubbling seismic?

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Speaker 1: It was like a seismic natural gas from here. So

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Speaker 1: they thought in the old in the ancient days, they

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Speaker 1: thought that those bubbles coming out of the pool were

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Speaker 1: actually an angel. And if you hurried and you jumped

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Speaker 1: in the pool and the waters could heal you, and

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Speaker 1: you could you could be healed from your being crippled.

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Speaker 1: And this this fascinating story in the in the Bible

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Speaker 1: where Jesus himself goes to the pool and he's he's

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Speaker 1: going after this one man who's crippled and he's on

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Speaker 1: a mat and he's waiting for these bubbles, and Jesus says,

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Speaker 1: let me just speak in plain terms here. Jesus says, bro,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? And he says, I'm I'm waiting

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Speaker 1: on the bubbles the angel to heal me. But every

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Speaker 1: time the bubbles come up, everyone rushes around past me

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Speaker 1: in the run where they rush down the steps, and

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Speaker 1: I don't ever get my turn, and I can never,

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Speaker 1: never gonna get in the water. Basically, Anonymous, and all

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Speaker 1: due respect, this sounds similar to you. I have. So

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Speaker 1: I have problems. Everything's going wrong, and I can and

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Speaker 1: everyone is passing me up and having this good life

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Speaker 1: and they're encouraging me, but but I just can't do it.

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Speaker 1: And Jesus says, it's so profound. But he says, do

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Speaker 1: you want to be healed? And he's you know, you

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Speaker 1: could just imagine this tension with him, this crippled guy thinking, well,

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Speaker 1: I try, but I can't, and Jesus says, do you

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Speaker 1: want to be healed? Take me me, Take me, and

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Speaker 1: you'll be healed. And so Anonymous, I would say, you

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Speaker 1: have you have a story. Everyone does. Everyone has a story.

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Speaker 1: You have suffering. Everyone has suffering, You've had hardships. You're human.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I could sympathize with you, but I will

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Speaker 1: not empathize with you. And there's a difference between those

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Speaker 1: two things. I could sympathize by saying you're in the quicksand,

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Speaker 1: and I got one foot on dry land, and I'll

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Speaker 1: put one foot in the quicksand with you and say,

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Speaker 1: do you want to be healed? If I was gonna

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Speaker 1: empathize with you, I would just jump in the quicksand

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Speaker 1: with you and we'd both start sinking and hold each

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Speaker 1: other and go life sucks. At least we have each

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Speaker 1: other to hold. That's empathizing. So I'm gonna sympathize with

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Speaker 1: one foot on the dry land and say, anonymous, do

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Speaker 1: you want to be healed? Because the Bible offers you

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Speaker 1: a way out of this. It offers you a way.

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Speaker 1: It offers you hope and peace and joy, and it

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Speaker 1: is not going to lead you astray. It will not.

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Speaker 1: You can't read any thing in that book that's going

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Speaker 1: to lead you astray or be misinterpreted. You say spouses

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Speaker 1: should not be forced to endure things that even the

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Speaker 1: Bible says they are legitimate. Don't ever say that. Don't

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Speaker 1: ever say there's certain things, there's certain things that even

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Speaker 1: the Bible doesn't know. Are there certain things that even

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Speaker 1: the Bible can't fix? That is not true? And if

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Speaker 1: you think that way, then you're you're the person at

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Speaker 1: the pool that says, I can't be healed and until

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Speaker 1: you could realize I want to be healed, until you

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Speaker 1: can come there emotionally, then you can't be It's interesting.

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Speaker 1: That's the first thing that Jesus asks, I love this story.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't. That's the first thing he asks. He's like,

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Speaker 1: let's get right down to business here. Do you want

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Speaker 1: to be healed? Because that's the most important question of

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Speaker 1: it all. Do you want it to be better? Or

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Speaker 1: do you want to stay in your misery or you're

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Speaker 1: kind of enjoying wallowing and sulking in your misery and

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Speaker 1: your self pity, believing that you're undeserving of Jesus's grace.

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Speaker 1: I heard that someone said, uh, they said, if you

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Speaker 1: believe that your sins and your suffering is not not

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Speaker 1: covered through the grace of Christ and Jesus is sacrificed

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Speaker 1: for you, it's kind of the most selfish thing that

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Speaker 1: you can do, is believe that you're suffering and your

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Speaker 1: sins that not even the Son of God could sacrifice himself,

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Speaker 1: and that wouldn't be enough. You're saying now that still

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be enough. You don't understand It's exactly right, because

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Speaker 1: she says, hospitalizations, outpatient treatments, multiple doctors, suicide attempts, and

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Speaker 1: a zillion medications could not stop sinful behaviors. Yeah, you're right,

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Speaker 1: You're exactly right. I'm sorry that you had to figure

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Speaker 1: that out the hard way, but you're exactly right. None

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Speaker 1: of those things can stop sinful behaviors. Only Jesus can,

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Speaker 1: only complete trust in him, can come to him as

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Speaker 1: you are. Christianity is different than any other form of

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Speaker 1: religion in the way that we come to Him as

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Speaker 1: we are and he fixes us, as opposed to any

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Speaker 1: other religion that says I better fix myself, so then

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Speaker 1: I'm worthy of God. You're worthy right now, You're ready,

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Speaker 1: right now in your state, in your sinful, miserable, wretched state.

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Speaker 1: I'm speaking for you and i'm speaking for me, same terms, sinful, miserable, wretched, good.

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Speaker 1: You're ready to be healed. So you didn't ask me

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Speaker 1: a question to this podcast, you did not ask me

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Speaker 1: a question. But I'll ask you one question. Do you

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Speaker 1: want to be healed? Do you want to be healed?

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Speaker 1: We've gotten default just question too. Let's do a couple

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Speaker 1: more and take a break. First year away at college

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Speaker 1: seems like maybe a little bit more lighthearted. It says,

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Speaker 1: please keep my last name anonymous. Hello, mister Smith. I'm

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Speaker 1: a twenty year old kid who grew up in southern California,

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Speaker 1: and I'm now attending a college in Chicago to study

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Speaker 1: and play baseball. I moved in Friday, August twenty seventh,

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Speaker 1: and it's currently September first, and I haven't felt at

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Speaker 1: home once. I know that this is a very short

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Speaker 1: time to adjust, but it doesn't feel like the right

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Speaker 1: place for me, and I'm considering quitting baseball even though

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Speaker 1: we haven't even started a single practice yet. I feel

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Speaker 1: stressed all the time. I haven't been able to eat

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Speaker 1: or sleep a lot. I feel like I'm not the

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Speaker 1: only kid going through this, but I would love your advice.

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Speaker 1: Thank you again for taking time to answer this, Derek,

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Speaker 1: this sounds like a right up Parker's Alley kind of question.

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Speaker 1: The first thing that comes to mind is your feelings

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Speaker 1: are real. They're there, but that doesn't mean that you

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Speaker 1: should trust them. Right Your first instinct being put out

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Speaker 1: of your comfort zone is always going to be that fear.

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Speaker 1: It's not going to feel homey. The first time you're

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Speaker 1: away from home and you're in this strange place with

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Speaker 1: all new people, completely out of your comfort zone. Acknowledge

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Speaker 1: that and that's okay, But don't fall for just because

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling uncomfortable that that means that I should turn

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Speaker 1: around and go home. And this isn't this isn't right.

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Speaker 1: A lot of times on the other end of this

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Speaker 1: is going to be so much wisdom and confidence through

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Speaker 1: getting out of your comfort zone going to this new place.

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Speaker 1: What a great opportunity. And if after a year to

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Speaker 1: three years you're still feeling that way and your gut

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Speaker 1: feeling is like this is not right, then that's a

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Speaker 1: different conversation. But right now, man, you just got there,

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Speaker 1: gonna it's not gonna feel like home right when you

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Speaker 1: first get there. Don't trust those feelings. Try to try

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Speaker 1: to think and you know the long term and how

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Speaker 1: many young men have gone through that same feeling. You're

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Speaker 1: not alone, yeah, Derek, Right on, Southern California is not Chicago.

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Speaker 1: You're a long way from home. This is a completely

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Speaker 1: it's a different climate, it's a different landscape, these are

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Speaker 1: different people in the Midwest, is a different mentality than

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Speaker 1: you're used to in Southern California. You just got to

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Speaker 1: give it some time. Brother, You got to hang in there.

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Speaker 1: What just Parker said it right. What you're feeling is

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Speaker 1: validated and your right to be to admit your vulnerability.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you're not admitting it to very many people besides

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Speaker 1: this podcast. But what you're feeling is is normal. People

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Speaker 1: are scared to change, man, and you resist it with

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Speaker 1: normal to resist a change, and this is a big

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Speaker 1: This is the biggest change. Dude. You're twenty years old,

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Speaker 1: a completely different environment, first time away from friends and family,

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Speaker 1: you're on your own. You would feel this at some

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Speaker 1: level if you went to usc just down the road,

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Speaker 1: if you went to UCLA just down the road, you

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Speaker 1: would feel the same thing. But it's even worse that

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Speaker 1: you're all the way out there in Chicago. You can't

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Speaker 1: one night you're just feeling like you need some Mom's

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Speaker 1: fried chicken. You can't jump in the car and two

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Speaker 1: hours you're gonna see her. It's like a big deal.

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Speaker 1: You got to get on a plane or you know,

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Speaker 1: it's a long way. So what you're feeling is totally justified.

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Speaker 1: So but I'm gonna say, fight through it. Hang in there.

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Speaker 1: It's like the monkey bars, man, hang on to those

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Speaker 1: monkey bars. Just don't let go, and you're gonna finds

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Speaker 1: as the It's like you jumped in an ice bath.

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Speaker 1: When have you ever taken an ice bath? And you

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Speaker 1: look at it and you fear it, and you you're

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Speaker 1: you literally sweat just looking at it. And when I

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Speaker 1: look at an ice bath, my heart rate goes up.

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Speaker 1: I haven't even touched the water. My heart rate goes up,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh man, oh man, this is gonna hurt.

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Speaker 1: This is gonna hurt. And you get around and you

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Speaker 1: put your hand, you know, you grip the sides of

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Speaker 1: the bath, and you plunge yourself in it, and it's

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Speaker 1: exactly like you thought. It hurts. It sends your whole

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Speaker 1: body into shock. All of your organs just contract. All

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Speaker 1: your blood rushes to your central organs to preserve them,

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Speaker 1: and everything leaves your extremities and you think you're literally dying.

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Speaker 1: And then you hang in there and you battle through

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Speaker 1: it and a certain amount of seconds go by. For me,

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Speaker 1: literally this is a thirty second deal. You wait about

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds. And when I do this kind of thing,

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Speaker 1: I literally watch my watch and when I get to

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds, I go, oh huh, I'm not dying. I'm okay,

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Speaker 1: this is I feel fine. My body's naturally reacting to

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Speaker 1: the cold water. And so I would say, Derek, back

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Speaker 1: to you, I would say, look at your clock, and

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Speaker 1: your case is probably a calendar. Look at this is

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Speaker 1: August twenty seventh, when you're writing this, or that's when

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Speaker 1: you moved in. I would say, I would look at

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Speaker 1: Christmas right, look at the Christmas break and go, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's my thirty seconds. It's going to be sooner than that.

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Speaker 1: But look at the Christmas break and go all right,

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Speaker 1: I got to make it to that, because then I'll

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Speaker 1: be acclimated. And you'll notice that every week that goes

399
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: by gets a little easier. You meet your buddies. You

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Speaker 1: moved there for baseball, Dude, you haven't even met your

401
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: buddies yet. These are going to be the future best

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Speaker 1: friends of your life, probably that you're going to meet

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Speaker 1: in this locker room. These are guys you're going to

404
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: go through adversity with. You're going to go through challenges,

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00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 1: ups and downs, victories and losses. You're going to compete together.

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Speaker 1: You're going to meet a girlfriend, You're gonna You're going

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Speaker 1: to learn so much about yourself. And who you are.

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Speaker 1: And by Christmas time, that's your litmus test. That's when

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Speaker 1: you look at the calendar and go, you know what,

410
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Speaker 1: I it's Christmas time and Granger was wrong. I still

411
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Speaker 1: hate it. Maybe, but if you go before then, that's

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Speaker 1: like getting out of the ice before you hit thirty seconds.

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Speaker 1: Your body never adjusted. You never gave yourself a chance.

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Speaker 1: So brother, give yourself a chance. You know. It's even

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Speaker 1: more depressing than the being uncomfortable at the very beginning

416
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Speaker 1: in a new place or a new city is the

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Speaker 1: thought of the guys who never left and they stayed home,

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Speaker 1: and they will always have that regret of staying in

419
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Speaker 1: their comfort zone. Man. Think about that, Derek, think about

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Speaker 1: if you hadn't have gone, and the impact that would

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Speaker 1: be on the rest of your life. I wonder what

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Speaker 1: it had been like if I had gone to play

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Speaker 1: baseball in Chicago. Dude, that's such a baseball city too, Chicago.

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Speaker 1: You gotta go. You gotta go see the Cubs play.

425
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: There's some people probably screaming White Sox right now, Okay, cool,

426
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 1: go to that too. Go to a Cubs game at

427
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:11,199
Speaker 1: Wrigley Field and get yourself a hot dog and a

428
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 1: big old coke and sit there in riggy Field and go,

429
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 1: I'm a Chicago resident right now, the southern California boy

430
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: is now a Chicago resident soaking in the American game

431
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 1: of baseball. Not only am I watching it, I'm playing

432
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: in the city of Chicago. I'm playing baseball. Let that

433
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: soak in for a second. Good question, brother, Let's take

434
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: a break. We'll be right back. Podcast has brought you

435
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 1: guys today by Athletic Greens. This is one of my

436
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Speaker 1: favorite products to talk about. It's one of the products

437
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Speaker 1: that I actually started reading on this podcast and started

438
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Speaker 1: talking about this product. And before I did that, they

439
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Speaker 1: sent me a s ample pack so that I could

440
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Speaker 1: try it out. And it's a green powder supplement that

441
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 1: you could put in water or your shakes or anything

442
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Speaker 1: like that. And I like that kind of stuff, so

443
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: they sent me a sample. I started reading about it

444
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 1: and I tried it and I was like, ooh, this

445
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: is really good. So I then went on their website

446
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 1: and used my promo code and signed up for a

447
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448
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,320
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449
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 1: could give you a testament and I could show you

450
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: on the Smiths that I get my subscription in the

451
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 1: mail every week. One tasty scoop of athletic greens taste

452
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Speaker 1: so good. It contains fifty excuse me, It contains seventy

453
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Speaker 1: five vitamins, minerals, and whole food sourced ingredients including a multivitamin,

454
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455
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Speaker 1: work together to fill the nutritional gaps in your diet,

456
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Speaker 1: increase energy and focus. Aid with digestion supports a healthy

457
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 1: immune system, all without the need to take multiple products.

458
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: You could put it in water. It tastes great. You

459
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: could put it in a protein shake. That's what I do.

460
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: I'll put a couple of scoops of protein. I'll put

461
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: some you know, an apple, banana, and some athletic greens.

462
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: I put two scoops in. You could put one and

463
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: it makes it tastes so good. It blends so good

464
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 1: with that shake. Although it tastes fine alone, it makes

465
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 1: me feel like I did my salad for the day.

466
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 1: I got my greens. Everyone, every doctor will tell you

467
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: make sure you eat your greens well. This will ensure

468
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 1: that you're getting your greens. Even if you're on the goat,

469
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,680
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470
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: in the fridge or on the counter at the time,

471
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 1: throw a couple scoops of this in whatever you're drinking

472
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Speaker 1: during the day and you are covered. It's It's completely

473
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Speaker 1: lifestyle friendly. So whatever your diet is, whether your keyto

474
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: keto or paleo, or vegan or dairy free or gluten free,

475
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: it contains one gram of sugar less than one gram

476
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: of sugar without compromising on taste, so the stuff is legit.

477
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: Right now, Athletic Greens is doubling down on supporting your

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486
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488
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Speaker 1: every single day. Again, visit Athleticgreens dot com slash granger

489
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490
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Speaker 1: five free travel packs. You're gonna love it. Sitting here

491
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: with my guest and younger brother and CEO of Euperil,

492
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 1: Parker Smith, famous on TikTok every time, got to say

493
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 1: it every time. It's amazing. Your rise on TikTok has

494
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: been pretty remarkable. Tyler talks about it all the time,

495
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: Like anytime we're out with new people, especially in like

496
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:20,719
Speaker 1: entertainment business, Tyler's always like, uh yeah, Parker, actually, in

497
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: three or four months got eight hundred thousand fans on TikTok.

498
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: I don't think he realizes that the time's going faster

499
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: than three or four months, but you are a viral TikToker.

500
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 1: He always gets mad at me for not posting more.

501
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: I have a great question to lead us into second

502
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: segment of episode one on one. It says Subdecline says,

503
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: how do I answer this colon? How did God become God?

504
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer, my name is Al I live in Johannesburg,

505
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: South Africa. I love your podcast and your music, which

506
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: is the highlight of my Monday and every single week.

507
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: Thank you, It says, I never miss a Smith or

508
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: at Ambers arrives. I spend a lot of time with

509
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: amazing young ten year old girl who's part of my

510
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: son's extended family. She asked me the other day how

511
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,320
Speaker 1: did God become God? And despite having faith and being

512
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: a believer, I have no idea how to how to

513
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 1: answer her. He just is is hard to explain to

514
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: a young person, and I was wondering, how would you

515
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: answer this? Be blessed and many things. Al's a what

516
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: a cool question? How did God become God? How did

517
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: God become God? And this is coming from a ten

518
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: year old that's asking Al this question, and so she's

519
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 1: basically wanting a form of apologetics a way to help answer.

520
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: But anytime we have to answer a question like this,

521
00:31:55,080 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: we learn more about our faith in the process of

522
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 1: rehearsing how we're going to say to someone else. I've

523
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: never had to answer this specific question. But I hear

524
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: what you're saying. You're saying, you're saying. If you tell

525
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: this girl, he just is, it sounds like a cop out.

526
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 1: It sounds like an easy answer. But the answer to

527
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: how did God become God is he didn't. He always was.

528
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 1: Now let me try to make that more specific. We'll

529
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: use math, simple mathematics. A ten year old would know mathematics, right.

530
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: I have an almost ten year old daughter. She understands

531
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 1: multiplication and division and mathematics and algebra. So let me

532
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: put it. Put it in simple mathematics. In the universe,

533
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: if they're ever was nothing zero, then zero times what

534
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 1: will ever equal something? That's my question. The answer is

535
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: if there ever was nothing, then there always forever will

536
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: be nothing. It's zero times any number is always zero

537
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: every time. If there always was or no excuse me,

538
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: if there ever at any time at any point, if

539
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: there ever was something, then there always was and always

540
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 1: will be something because one times whatever number is always

541
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 1: whatever number, zero times whatever number is always zero. So

542
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 1: if you exist and I exist, that means something has

543
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 1: always existed. Because we could not have come from zero.

544
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 1: We could not have come from nothing. So we believe,

545
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 1: Barker and I at this table, we believe that God

546
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 1: is what existed before we did. God was the one

547
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: that multiplied to us, which equals the number us, the

548
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:28,439
Speaker 1: number of all of us and everything. Every star, every moon,

549
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: every galaxy, every rock, every tree, every human being is

550
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 1: times one. Right. Once again, I'm trying to put this

551
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: in perspective of a ten year old girl. So the

552
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: answer how did God become God? Is only God always

553
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: was God. That's the only explanation because God is one

554
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,760
Speaker 1: times everything. If God, if anything had to become God,

555
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,919
Speaker 1: then it would have been God. And if that was God,

556
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: then something had to have been God before that because

557
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: something has to come from something. Something can never come

558
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:14,720
Speaker 1: from nothing. I do Okay, Yes, that was a lot.

559
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 1: I gotta think about that on I think I need

560
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 1: to rewind that and listen to it again. I heard

561
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 1: a guy say one time to answer that question, he

562
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: had he had a bunch of blocks. Since I'll have

563
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,720
Speaker 1: a mug in front of me that's sitting on table,

564
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: and they're they're asking where God came from, and he says, Kate,

565
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 1: the mug is sitting on the table. So I have

566
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: a mug here sitting on the table. What's the table

567
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: on Okay, the table is on this wood floor in

568
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: the house. Okay, Well, what's the house on the house

569
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 1: is on the earth. What is the earth on the earth?

570
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: Is it just the earth doesn't need a origin or

571
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: like a starting point to support itself. It just is there.

572
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: There's nothing for it to sit on. And that was

573
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: the analogy he used for gotten. Yeah, I would say

574
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: to the ten year old girl, I would say, I

575
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: would say, Babe, isn't it incredible? Isn't it mind blowing

576
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,760
Speaker 1: that God didn't have to become anything? He was already

577
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: perfect and perfection cannot be perfected. Isn't that? Isn't that

578
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: mine wasn't amazing? And just see what she says to

579
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 1: that good question now and shout out to our fans

580
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 1: in South Africa. Let me see what else I could

581
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: pull in the old old email vault. If you guys

582
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 1: have anything for me, it's Granger Smith podcast at gmail

583
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: dot com. That's Granger Smith with no I in the Granger,

584
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: part I in the Smith, but no eye in the Granger.

585
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 1: We used to travel around as in a band. We

586
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: still get still we still did a former life, but

587
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: in the in the days when we were in a

588
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 1: van and we would pull up to a lot of

589
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 1: places that had and marquee with the old plastic letters

590
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 1: that you put in the marquee, and so many times

591
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: we pulled up to the venue and it said Friday

592
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: night Granger Smith with an I in the granger g

593
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: R A I N G E R. And so we

594
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: would we would pull up to the venue, and it

595
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: was like a tradition. We would take the eye and

596
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: then push the push the granger back together, and then

597
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,320
Speaker 1: as a token, as a souvenir for what we probably

598
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 1: should have got paid at the venue, we kept the

599
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:41,400
Speaker 1: eye in our trailer and eventually we had like a

600
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,959
Speaker 1: thousand eyes all in the roof, like shoved in the

601
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: rafters of the roof of the trailer. I never heard

602
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: that story. I wonder where all those eyes are now.

603
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 1: I should probably return them to the right. Fore I

604
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: was gonna say, young Granger was a little more mischievous.

605
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: I was very mischievous before I found Jesus. Here's one

606
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: that just it's very simple. It says help with a

607
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 1: single sibling. Hey, Granger, and my husband and I are

608
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: huge fans. YE Radio is almost constantly playing in our

609
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 1: home and garage, and we're rocking EE Apparel often. Thank

610
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: you for all that we've seen you in concert a bunch,

611
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 1: and we look forward to seeing you in Schenectady, New

612
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,760
Speaker 1: York in September. You're the reason my husband likes country

613
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: music at all. Man, that's awesome. I love to thank you,

614
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: says I wish that that was the only reason for writing. Though.

615
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 1: My only brother, thirty six years old, lives in Boston.

616
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 1: He's single, never been married. I'm his youngest sister. I'm

617
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,879
Speaker 1: thirty three years old, and I'm obviously married. Year after year,

618
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: I hear how my brother finds a girl that he

619
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: really likes, but after a few months she always winds

620
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 1: up being crazy and ultimately not the right person for him.

621
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: He has been on tons of dating apps, but the

622
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 1: pandemic has slowed dating for him for obvious reasons. I

623
00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: always try to suggest for him something different, dating instead

624
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 1: of just an app, or at least just meeting real people,

625
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 1: but no matter what I say to him, it turns

626
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: into a massive argument. He's told me he doesn't want

627
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 1: to hear any more advice on the subject from me

628
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: or from anyone else, family or friends, and wants to

629
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 1: keep doing things his way. I want to respect his

630
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: wishes and be supportive because he's my brother, but I

631
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: want to see him happy, even though I think his

632
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 1: idea of dating is the definition of insanity. I appreciate

633
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: any advice. I'm all out of ideas on what to

634
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 1: do or not to do. Many thanks for the music

635
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: and everything you do. Congrats some of the new baby

636
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: Andrea and Hurley, New York. Shout out to New York Andrea,

637
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: thanks for your question, Thanks for your sweet, sweet words,

638
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: and I cannot wait to see you and your husband

639
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:48,879
Speaker 1: in Schenectady. Hopefully that the craziness of the world keeps

640
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: that show rocking. Thirty six year old brother single in Boston,

641
00:39:54,760 --> 00:40:00,399
Speaker 1: never been married, and he loves dating apps. I think

642
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 1: a lot of people could relate to this. I think

643
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: everybody has a close friend or a sibling who is

644
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 1: making the wrong choices, whether it be romantically or in

645
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 1: other ways, and you're trying to explain to them that

646
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 1: what they're doing is not working, but it's just not

647
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 1: going through their head. You are telling them that you

648
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 1: know how to help, and they don't want help. What

649
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: do you say to that, How do you help someone

650
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: who doesn't want to be helped. Yeah, it's interesting because

651
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 1: she says, he told me he doesn't want to hear

652
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: any more advice on the subject from me or anyone else.

653
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 1: And you said, no matter what I say to him,

654
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 1: it turns into a massive argument. So what we could

655
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 1: deal with me and you Andrea is not your brother,

656
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: because we can't affect what he does. But what we

657
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: can control when I say, we like it like we're

658
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 1: a team here. But what we can't control, Andrea is

659
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 1: the way you react to him and what you say

660
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 1: to him and how you treat him, and letting it

661
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 1: turn into a massive argument is a problem on your end.

662
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 1: I'm not innocent of this kind of thing myself. I

663
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: struggle with this, and I sympathize with you Andrea in

664
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,240
Speaker 1: this kind of situation. But you don't want it to

665
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 1: ever let something like this turn into a massive argument,

666
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: because then that just turns his years off. He doesn't

667
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 1: want to hear anything else from you. He's done with you,

668
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 1: he's done with the subject, and he wants to just

669
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 1: go back to what he feels comfortable doing, and that's

670
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: dating crazy girls. So what we need to do is

671
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: figure out how to not make this a massive argument ever.

672
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,400
Speaker 1: And one of the things that one way to approach

673
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 1: that is stop trying to be right. And I'm gonna

674
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 1: say it. I'm gonna repeat again what I told you,

675
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: this is I'm not good at this, So what I'm

676
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 1: speaking is something I need to put into better practice,

677
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: and I think i've I've gotten better over the year

678
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 1: years from where I was, but still not great at it.

679
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: And that's just going at your brother and not trying

680
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 1: to be right. Are no more than him, just because

681
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: you're married, and just because you have a great husband

682
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: and he loves yee and country music, which I think

683
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 1: he's great too. Because of that, that doesn't make you

684
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 1: better than your brother, or right or more knowledgeable. But marriage,

685
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 1: you just have been blessed enough to find the right

686
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: guy at the right time, and you tied the knot.

687
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: And so when you're with your brother, it's all about

688
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: loving him and showing compassion and sympathizing with his situation

689
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 1: and doing Parker, maybe you could have helped me with this,

690
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 1: but it's like I would suggest doing thirty percent of

691
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 1: the talking and let him do seventy percent of the

692
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:52,839
Speaker 1: talking in this kind of scenario, let him answer his

693
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: own questions enough where he realizes there's a problem because

694
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 1: he's talking and answering his own questions, and so do

695
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: more asking and more listening and less advice giving. Yeah,

696
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 1: I agree. I don't really have anything to add to that. Yeah, Yeah,

697
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 1: you're you're in. You're in a boat that a lot

698
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 1: of people are in, Andrea, and you're just not gonna

699
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 1: You're not gonna change him or you're not gonna convince

700
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 1: him of a he's not gonna go. Oh, Andrea, thank

701
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 1: goodness you told me dating apps are bad, and then

702
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 1: I shouldn't do that. Thank goodness you told me that,

703
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: because now I'm on a good path, and hopefully, with

704
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: your great advice, little sister, I'm gonna really figure things out.

705
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: It's just it's not gonna happen. All you can do

706
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: is love him and love your husband and show him

707
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 1: the example of love that you give your husband and

708
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 1: your husband gives back to you, and just take him

709
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: into your house and listen to him and let him

710
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 1: do seventy percent of the talking. Yeah, he'll see the

711
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 1: fruits of your life, and he already knows the fruits

712
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: of his. He doesn't need someone to that. What did

713
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: you say in episode ninety nine? Your actions are so loud,

714
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 1: I can't hear what you're saying, So that works both ways.

715
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 1: Your actions are so loud, I can't hear what you're

716
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 1: saying that works negatively and it works positively. So make

717
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 1: your actions so beautiful that he doesn't matter what you say,

718
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 1: because you're showing love and you're showing compassion to him

719
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 1: and your husband that he wants more that right, we

720
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:33,960
Speaker 1: got one here. The subject line is not sure what

721
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,240
Speaker 1: to do. This is a recent email. It says, Hey Grangeer,

722
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: I'm sixteen. I'm from Harris, Minnesota. Shout out to Minnesota.

723
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 1: It says, I know I have a good life, but

724
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm not happy with who I am. I have a

725
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 1: full time job at a machine shop with ten hour

726
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 1: days plus overtime when I'm available. I bought my first truck,

727
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 1: and around the time I turned fifteen, I struggle with

728
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 1: a huge form of ADHD and a processing disorder. I

729
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: try to hide it as much as I can, and

730
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: I try to get good grades enough to pass my classes.

731
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,720
Speaker 1: But the one thing that I really struggled with as girls.

732
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: And I've tried my hardest to talk to them and

733
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: treat them like they deserve, but I always get rejected

734
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 1: and I can't figure out what causes me to get rejected.

735
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 1: How do I get over that. I met one girl

736
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: and she was so beautiful and had a wonderful family,

737
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 1: and it helped me build up my confidence and helped

738
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 1: my buddy stopped me. But my buddy stopped me from

739
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 1: ending it, and she didn't even know I was depressed.

740
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 1: So please don't sugarcoat this. I won't be offended. I

741
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: listened to classic country. I'm not a fan of new country,

742
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 1: but I love your music. Thanks for reading this, guys.

743
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry this whole email didn't have one punctuation mark

744
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: in it, so I've kind of trying to figure out

745
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 1: how to paraphrase. But it's a long sentence. It was

746
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 1: one long sentence sixteen and he's Parker, this is this

747
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: is You're great at this. He's sixteen, he's saying, He's

748
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: saying grain drum sixteen or from Harris, Minnesota. Wow. He says,

749
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: don't sugarcoat this. I won't be offended. Get it to

750
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 1: give it to him part I'm sensing. I'm sensing sensing

751
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:32,400
Speaker 1: some victim mentality. Maybe he kind of started it out.

752
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,320
Speaker 1: He started out with kind of complaining about his job,

753
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: complaining about the long hours, complaining about his ADHD. Keep

754
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,240
Speaker 1: in mind, he said at the beginning, I'm not happy

755
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:47,919
Speaker 1: with who I am. Yeah, I think that that's that's

756
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:53,280
Speaker 1: the underlying problem. It's not it's not rejection with girls

757
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 1: or anything else you want to add on top of that.

758
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: I think that that starts with an honest conversation with

759
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: with himself, looking in the mirror and saying, why am

760
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: I not happy with who I am? I heard someone

761
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 1: say one time that if someone were to tell you

762
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: to rate your life on a scale of one to ten,

763
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:17,240
Speaker 1: on a scale of zero being absolutely miserable and depressed

764
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 1: and a ten being completely fulfilled and full of joy

765
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: on a daily basis, what would you rate yourself? And

766
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 1: then whatever number you give count down from ten. So

767
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: if you're like, I'm a six right now, then you'll

768
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: subconsciously come up with that number and think of those

769
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 1: four notches that brought it down from a ten. Those

770
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: are the things you need to work on. So where

771
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 1: it's like, well, I don't have a good relationship with God,

772
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: I'm overweight, I don't get much sleep, and I'm in

773
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 1: content in my singleness and I wish I had a girlfriend,

774
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 1: it's like it's a pretty good indicator a way to

775
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 1: look at the four things that you need to work on.

776
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: And so I think it starts with him with I notice,

777
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 1: like if you're constantly in fear of getting rejected by women,

778
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 1: I think it starts with saying that you're not incomplete

779
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: in your singleness, Like why are you trying to find

780
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 1: so hard? You're sixteen years old? Like, stop worrying so

781
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: much about getting the approval of girls and start asking yourself,

782
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 1: what can I do? How can I pursue healthy activities?

783
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 1: How can I eat better, be a good steward of

784
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 1: my body and get some exercise. How can I surround

785
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 1: myself with people who are uplifting and positive? That's where

786
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: I would start. Man, I can't wait to put what

787
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 1: you just said on TikTok. It's going to go viral.

788
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 1: That's what I'm here for. Man, I hear you. I

789
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 1: hear you. Brother? And did he say his name on here?

790
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: Am I not supposed to say his name? He didn't

791
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: say it, so I won't say it. I'll keep him anonymous.

792
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think that the hinge of your whole

793
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 1: email is I'm not happy with who I am. You

794
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: could have not said anything else. You could have kept

795
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: the email completely blank and said granger, Hey, I'm sixteen

796
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: up from Harris, Minnesota. I'm not happy with who I am?

797
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 1: What do I do? That would have been good enough

798
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 1: then for you to go through this list of why

799
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 1: you struggle with girls, because the girls will not help

800
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 1: you be happy with who you am. There isn't There

801
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 1: isn't a magical girlfriend a Cinderella out there that as

802
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: soon as you find her slipper and you put it

803
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 1: on and it fits her foot and she completes you,

804
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: and then you go, oh, now because I'm met Cinderella.

805
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 1: Now I'm happy with who I am. It's a miracle. Wow,

806
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,399
Speaker 1: this is crazy. It's exactly what I wanted. That does

807
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,839
Speaker 1: not exist. It does not exist. You have to, as

808
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 1: Parker said, be content in your singleness first. Be content.

809
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 1: Be content. That is such a great word. Content is

810
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 1: a word that we struggle with in today's culture. We

811
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: struggle with being content where we are in our lives,

812
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 1: what we're doing now in our lives. You're sixteen, brother,

813
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: you're sweet sixteen. You know how many people listening to

814
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 1: this podcast will go, Man, if I could have one

815
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 1: do over, if I can go back to sixteen and

816
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 1: do it over, if I could have a chance to

817
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: have those memories that you could make with your buddies

818
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 1: right now. So I would lean in to your friends.

819
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:17,240
Speaker 1: I would lean into some kind of hobby or or sport,

820
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: and we go down this kind of this path on

821
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 1: this podcast where it's like, man, if you're not athletic,

822
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:27,280
Speaker 1: then there's there's a chess team, or there's the Civil

823
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 1: War re enactment team. You know, there's there's always football,

824
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 1: there's always baseball. Like we talked about in a few

825
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:37,240
Speaker 1: questions ago, there's there's something in this world for everyone

826
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,399
Speaker 1: to get involved with and meet like minded people. There's

827
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,479
Speaker 1: people in ye Nation that follow me. Brother, you said

828
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 1: you like my music. There's people that follow me that

829
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 1: we call them Yee Nation. And I know for a

830
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 1: fact I've met people that have gone to my shows

831
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:55,759
Speaker 1: by themselves because no one else around them was like

832
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: minded enough to like country music and whatever region they're

833
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 1: living in. So they put on their boots and their

834
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 1: jeans and they go to my concert and they go

835
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: to the front row, and then guess what happens. They

836
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,399
Speaker 1: look around and the people on the right and they're

837
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 1: left are people dressed like them, that look like them,

838
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 1: that talk like them, and they become friends with them,

839
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 1: and they become a unit, and they become people that

840
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 1: they could count on. And now I have this big

841
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,320
Speaker 1: band of Yege Nation that goes and they travel together,

842
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,239
Speaker 1: and they'll go stay at someone's house that lives in

843
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: another state of some state we're playing in, and they

844
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,360
Speaker 1: meet them at a show, and then they become friends

845
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: and it just grows. So if anything you've got Yege Nation,

846
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 1: go to a show. I'm not even trying to promote

847
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: one of my concerts. I'm just saying, if you like

848
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: Jimmy Buffett, do that, but involve yourself in places that

849
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 1: you can surround yourself with other dudes that you could

850
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 1: find like minded guys where you could build a bond,

851
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 1: and you build a relationship and you become content with

852
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 1: being sixteen and doing what you're doing. When I was sixteen,

853
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 1: I was traveling by myself to George Strait concerts because

854
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,800
Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved the culture, I love the

855
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 1: people that went to the concerts. I loved watching the band,

856
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 1: and I was I don't mean to say this in

857
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 1: a way that I was I had it more figured out,

858
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:20,760
Speaker 1: because I really didn't, but I was content at that age.

859
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 1: I was content. So work on that work on how

860
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 1: could I be content with where I am, with what

861
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 1: I'm doing right now. Put yourself on that path and

862
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: you'll a girl will come. You'll find that. It's a

863
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: good question though. Yeah, yeah, I'd get involved with the

864
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: church too. If I go back to my sixteen year

865
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 1: old self, I would beg him. I would tell him

866
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 1: that there's another life on the other edge of saying

867
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: the prayer at the altar, call it church and accepting

868
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 1: Jesus into your heart and then thinking you're done. I

869
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 1: would say, man, there's a whole nother life on the

870
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: other end of that that the world won't tell you about.

871
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 1: But if you go get involved with your church, you

872
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:08,720
Speaker 1: start knocking on doors. Uh, that's spiritual doors, asking questions

873
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: to God, digging into his word, seeking wives counsel. That's

874
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: so true about that one prove things. I try to

875
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 1: balance this podcast with my my extremism in my faith,

876
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 1: me being a Jesus freak, which I am. I try

877
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 1: to balance that on this podcast where it's like, even

878
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,320
Speaker 1: though I want to answer every single question in that way,

879
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: I try to balance it where I feel like you, guys,

880
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: if you listen to the whole thing, you're gonna get

881
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: You're gonna get the pulse of who I am and

882
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 1: what I'm saying without me saying brother, pursue Christ full

883
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 1: speed ahead, and you'll be You'll be in a place. Yeah,

884
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 1: that's that's kind of I could answer every question that way.

885
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,399
Speaker 1: So yeah, thanks for the question, brother, let's do let's

886
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 1: do one more. Yeah, we're gonna say I was just

887
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 1: gonna say, and keep listening to the podcast because it's good,

888
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: great advice for young men. Hey, I love that this

889
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 1: subject line. One more question here and then we'll let

890
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,280
Speaker 1: you guys get back to your Monday. But this question

891
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 1: says fearful child grangeer. Hello from Michigan. Shout out to Michigan.

892
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 1: I have two daughters, Lily, who is nine, and Catherine,

893
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 1: who is seven. Lily is outgoing and not afraid to

894
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 1: try anything she is. She is not afraid to fall

895
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:33,240
Speaker 1: and get back up and try again until she gets it. Catherine,

896
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:36,399
Speaker 1: on the other hand, is afraid of everything. She got

897
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,799
Speaker 1: a new bike for Easter and is absolutely terrified of

898
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: it because she fell once. She downright refuses to try again.

899
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 1: She refuses to try pretty much anything that makes her

900
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. I feel like she misses out on a

901
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,440
Speaker 1: lot because she refuses to try. I feel like we

902
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,840
Speaker 1: have tried everything to get her to do new things.

903
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 1: What would you suggest, I wonder. I want her to

904
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,240
Speaker 1: experience new things, to have fun, and to be a kid.

905
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: Congratulations on baby Maverick, the kids and I look forward

906
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:08,840
Speaker 1: to seeing you in October. Blessings, Laurel. So Hey, Laurel,

907
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: thank you for writing. Shout out to Michigan and your

908
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: beautiful family. Thank you for listening to this podcast. It's

909
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 1: a valid question and I want to want to answer

910
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 1: it in this way. I want to start with this.

911
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:29,879
Speaker 1: You have two daughters, Lily and Catherine. You will do

912
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 1: so well, Laurel, if you do everything you can to

913
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 1: not compare the two and to not label them for

914
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 1: who you think they are now, because it can can

915
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 1: be destructive to a child. Although natural to a parent

916
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 1: and easy for a parent to label a child, it

917
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,919
Speaker 1: can become destructive if you label them at an early

918
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 1: age as the outgoing one and the scared one. And so,

919
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 1: although you should talk about this behind closed doors with

920
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 1: your husband, don't ever get caught in the car or

921
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 1: don't ever let your girls overhear you saying in a

922
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 1: conversation with your friends. This is Lily, she's the outgoing one,

923
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 1: and this is Catherine. She's I'm sorry, she's just a

924
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:27,719
Speaker 1: little scared of things. Because they kids will hear that.

925
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 1: They'll pick up on that, and they will become who

926
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 1: you presented them as, right, They will become what you

927
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 1: how you label them as a parent. So as parents

928
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: we have to be so careful to let their little

929
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 1: spirits go. And when we discipline, we want to, we

930
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 1: want to. My mom used to say this, and my

931
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:51,399
Speaker 1: mom's here, I should bring her up for this. She'd

932
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: be great at this question. But she she used to

933
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,760
Speaker 1: always say, when you discipline, you want to break their will,

934
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 1: but never their spirit. Let their little spirit. It's go, Catherine.

935
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 1: Her little spirit is ready to unleash. She might be

936
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:09,920
Speaker 1: a little timid now. That might that might show later

937
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 1: in life to be something that's very valuable to her.

938
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,719
Speaker 1: She might be the you know, everybody needs a mother

939
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:17,959
Speaker 1: hen in the group. She might be the future mother

940
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 1: hen of the college girls where all the girls are

941
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: at the party and they're getting crazy, and Catherine's the

942
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 1: one that's like, Hey, I want to pump the brakes,

943
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 1: give me the keys, I'm taking everybody home. Don't worry.

944
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 1: I'll take care of the I'll take care of everything here.

945
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 1: I'll lock the doors behind so that might be who

946
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: who she is is already written. It's already. It's in

947
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 1: her dna, it's in her little, her little body, her

948
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 1: little spirit is who she is. And so don't don't

949
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 1: hinder her by breaking her will and saying you need

950
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 1: to do that. You need to be more like your sister,

951
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: and Laura, I'm not accusing you of saying that, because

952
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 1: you didn't say anything like that, but I'm I'm cautioning

953
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: against you need to be more like your sister. You

954
00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 1: need to be more you need to be a kid.

955
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 1: Things get out now. You can gently push her to

956
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 1: experience things. But when she pushes back to a point

957
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 1: of tears or or rebellion in any kind of big way,

958
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:17,439
Speaker 1: then just pull her back and go, babe, it's okay.

959
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,919
Speaker 1: Give her a hug and just go. You're not ready yet,

960
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 1: you will be. You'll be ready to ride this bike

961
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 1: one day, because she will. She's gonna ride a bike

962
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: one day. It's like a toddler that's crawling and they're

963
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 1: like trying to walk. They're gonna walk one day, just

964
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 1: not right now. So just look at look at her.

965
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: Look at Catherine as a toddler that's just not walking yet.

966
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 1: So you want to hug her, you want to pull

967
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 1: her in and just say, baby, I got you. You're

968
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:47,360
Speaker 1: gonna ride your bike one day. You're gonna be great

969
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 1: at riding your bike one day. You're just not ready yet,

970
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,439
Speaker 1: but let me know, and I'll keep helping you get

971
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 1: ready for that moment when you are. But Lily's riding

972
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: her bike. It's okay, You're not Lily. You're very special

973
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 1: in your own way, and I love that about you,

974
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 1: and I love Lily and what she does. But she

975
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: see what I mean. You don't want to You don't

976
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: want to pigeonhole them, because what Catherine is a very

977
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 1: special girl that has a lot ahead of her, and

978
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,640
Speaker 1: she's gonna this is going to be a huge attribute do.

979
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 1: So it makes sense. I would imagine it would be

980
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:21,240
Speaker 1: hard for a parent to separate. I'm not saying this

981
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 1: is the case at all, but I would imagine it

982
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: would be difficult for a parent to separate their their

983
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 1: selfish ambitions of what they want their children to be

984
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 1: versus molding them into into encouraging their spirits to be

985
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 1: who they were made to be. Yeah, and to separate

986
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: that and go, are they genuinely timid and to the

987
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 1: point where it's going to be detrimental to their mental health?

988
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 1: Or is this just my unmet expectation for what I

989
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 1: wanted my kid to be. That's great, my una expectation

990
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 1: of what I think my kids should be. So here

991
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 1: we go back into uh, back into the Bible. I would,

992
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 1: Laura aud I would hit your knees every night, and

993
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 1: when you pray for your girls, say an extra prayer

994
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 1: for Catherine and just go God. I I feel like

995
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 1: Catherine could could be bigger and more outgoing and braver.

996
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 1: Teach me to be the mother that she needs. To

997
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 1: encourage her in that way. Teach me to be the

998
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 1: mother that encourages in a positive way and not a

999
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 1: negative way. Don't let me be overbearing. Let me be

1000
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 1: the mother that helps her spirit grow to who she's

1001
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 1: supposed to be. And then parenting is hard. Parenting is

1002
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:37,479
Speaker 1: tough because you got to pay attention, you got to watch,

1003
01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:40,480
Speaker 1: you gotta research, you got to watch Catherine at every step,

1004
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 1: and you got to know you have to discern when

1005
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 1: her when her mind is capable of going one more

1006
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 1: step and you got and she needs to get her

1007
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:51,520
Speaker 1: knees dirty a little bit, she needs to skin her

1008
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: skin her elbows and wipe off the gravel out of

1009
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 1: her elbows and get back up, and you encourage her

1010
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 1: to do that, or when she actually is hitting a

1011
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 1: wall and she's going too far and this is actually

1012
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:07,440
Speaker 1: hurting her mentally in some way. So that's up to you.

1013
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,920
Speaker 1: You got to watch her all the time. But the

1014
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 1: bottom line is her and Lily are not the same,

1015
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 1: so you can't parent them the same. You have to

1016
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 1: parent Lily, and Lily's gonna have her problems too with

1017
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 1: being the outgoing, not afraid of anything. Go get her.

1018
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,960
Speaker 1: Oh wait till she gets her driver's license. Good luck

1019
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 1: with that one. You're gonna be glad you have Catherine.

1020
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 1: When these two get their driver's license, you'll be like, oh,

1021
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 1: thank god, Catherine's the safe driver. Right. So you parent

1022
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 1: them differently, but you got to watch them. You got

1023
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: to study them. And you want to push Catherine. You

1024
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 1: want her to be brave and experience things, but your

1025
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 1: expectation's got to come down because you've been you've been

1026
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: preconditioned a little bit with Lily to what the expectation

1027
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 1: of bravery is at that age. And so with Catherine,

1028
01:01:56,400 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: lower your expectations because she's not that. And then she

1029
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:04,479
Speaker 1: she will be her own person, and then you push

1030
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: her to be the best version of her and Lily

1031
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 1: the best version of Lily. But it's a good question,

1032
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 1: it's a valid question. I appreciate you, guys. I think

1033
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: we're out of time. But Old Parker, he's a he's

1034
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 1: one of my favorite guests. You always give me viral

1035
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,480
Speaker 1: tiktoks on this so appreciate you by Yeah, three in

1036
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 1: a row, Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm always amazed

1037
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 1: at the questions that you get. It's an honor to

1038
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:32,919
Speaker 1: try to help out however I and we can. Yeah,

1039
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 1: if you guys have any questions, Grangersmith podcast at gmail

1040
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 1: dot com and we'll see you at episode one oh two. Yegee,

1041
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate

1042
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by

1043
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe

1044
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:52,120
Speaker 1: to this channel. Hit that little like button and the

1045
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:55,840
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload

1046
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that

1047
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Granger Smith Podcast

1048
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:11,960
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. H