WEBVTT - Self-Compassion Beyond the Reflection (Outweigh) 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.520 I won't let my body out be outwait everything that 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:08.160 I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change. 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:10.760 I'm learning love who I. 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:15.640 Am, agam strong. I feel free, I know every part 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:23.680 of me. It's beautiful and that will always out way 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:27.080 if you feel it. But you are fell some love 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:27.680 to the mood? 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:28.400 Why get there? 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:35.040 Take you one day and did you and die out way? 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.440 Happy Saturday, out weigh. We are back. 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:40.000 I'm back with the beautiful Suzanne. We are here for 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:44.120 our Unfiltered Confidence series where we are navigating self discovery 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:48.640 within recovery, and this recovery journey it is not always 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:51.480 roses and butterflies, but it's also not just about food 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:54.800 in your body, and so hopefully this series is illuminating 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.040 you to all of the little intricacies and all of 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:00.480 the little nooks and crannies that are challenges might be 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:03.280 kind of sneaking up on us if we're not aware 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:04.720 of it, to give you that insight. 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.319 But then also it is all interrelated to. 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:09.840 Showing you how things that might seemingly have nothing to 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:13.240 do with food in your body absolutely are all interrelated. 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:15.240 So we want to cover all of that in between. 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:17.880 If you miss the last couple of episodes, go back 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:21.000 and check those out. First, we talked about navigating life 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:24.640 beyond the checklist. Keyword, beyond the checklist. I know a 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:26.200 lot of us get caught up in the day to 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:29.080 day and the doing. Then last week we talked about 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.119 this concept of owning your worth even when there are 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:36.640 haters or doubters or people are outright going against the 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.560 version of you that you know you want to be, 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.040 and how to step up into your own self endorsement 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:43.560 in the face of that. And today we're talking about 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:48.520 self compassion, beyond the reflection, and this beyond the reflection 0:01:48.640 --> 0:01:51.000 thing I mentioned in the first episode. You know, for me, 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:55.160 I was so obsessed with my appearance and my weight 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:58.080 that anything beyond that was kind of out of reach 0:01:58.080 --> 0:01:59.520 for me. And I think that's one of the reasons 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.600 I'm so ex to bring this series to you, is 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:04.080 because to show you that there's life beyond all of that. 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:05.960 And if that's where you are, there is no shame, 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:08.400 there is no judgment, nothing but love. That's what we're 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:10.760 here to help spark some inspiration for you, to show 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:12.240 you that there's life on the other side of this. 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:14.799 But I want to turn it over to you, Suzanne, 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:18.160 and really talking about this idea of self forgiveness and compassion. 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:20.720 It's almost like a skill set that we have to learn. 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:22.720 It's like, if you don't know how to ride a bike, 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:24.200 you've got to learn how to ride a bike. If 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:25.679 you don't know how to speak Spanish, you have to 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.000 learn how to speak Spanish. And self forgiveness and self 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:32.079 compassion is oftentimes the opposite of what we've been speaking. 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:34.760 If you've gotten fluent like I did in self rejection 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:38.680 or shame or self condemnation or comparisonitis and all those things. 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:41.160 But then there's also the side of it of like, wait, 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.520 independent of my reflection in the mirror. 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:47.000 So that's a loaded topic. I'm just gonna spin it 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:48.639 around and throw it back at you. 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.600 So would you mind just kind of opening up the 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:55.880 conversation and share what was your experience learning this language 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:59.520 of self compassion and self forgiveness after what thirty forty 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:02.200 years of the opposite shares a little bit about where 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:04.960 you came from and then how you learned that skill 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:05.600 for yourself. 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.320 Yeah, this topic is so important to me because I 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.880 think it's maybe one of the biggest changes and shifts 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:15.240 that I've had in my life in the last five 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:20.080 years was learning how to forgive myself, learning how to 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:24.600 offer myself the grace and compassion that I provide to others, 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:29.240 that I am worthy of having that same compassion, and 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.600 understanding when I'm not perfect, I'm never going to be perfect, 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:38.880 and giving up that idea of perfection. And I also 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:44.200 had this idea of perfection interwoven with safety and security, 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:48.880 that if everything is perfect, if I perform perfectly, if 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:52.720 I am behaving perfectly, everything will remain safe and secure 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:56.200 in my world, which is completely an illusion and it 0:03:56.320 --> 0:04:01.160 is not sustainable. And being able to get give up 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:06.600 those two intertwined ideas has probably made the biggest impact 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:10.480 in my life. Using the tools that I developed when 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:14.280 I was seventeen years old and then never learned new 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:18.040 ways to soothe myself when I was upset or when 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:21.640 I was scared, or when something big happened. There were 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:25.599 traumatic events that led me to thinking that I had 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:31.120 to control everything and the reality is my actions, And 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:36.240 you know, striving for perfectionism was not controlling anything. It 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:40.880 was simply just you know, creating a spiral of shame 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:45.719 and doubt and self hatred that I didn't want to 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.880 live with anymore. And that's actually where I was when 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:54.520 we started working together, was how do I stop the 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:59.280 voice in my head that is judging herself in everything? 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:00.280 You know? 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:02.440 Did I do enough on my to do list? Did 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:05.159 I eat the right things? Did I buy the right 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:09.280 gift for somebody? Did I make enough money? Did I 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.240 save enough money? All of the ways that I was 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:16.400 judging myself? And I'm glad to say that I'm so 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:20.120 much kinder to myself now than I was then, and 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:24.080 everything is still safe and secure, as safe and secure 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:25.599 as life can be. 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:30.080 Yeah, oh so powerful, because what I just heard you 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:33.480 say is that the safety and security under the guise 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:37.360 of perfectionism was an illusion. And first and foremost just 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:40.279 having that realization of like, wait a minute, this idea. 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:42.400 First of all, Like my favorite way that I heard 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:46.919 perfectionism described is we think of perfectionism as the highest standard, 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:49.760 the thing that we want to attain, right, But I 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:52.560 got invited into this question of like what if perfectionism 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:55.279 was actually the lowest standard, what if it was not 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:58.120 something that you wanted to look for, strive for, hope for. 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.360 And that gave me a lot of freedom, because again, 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:03.560 you said it best when you said, it's this kind 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.800 of you know, this illusion of safety and security, but 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:10.000 it's not really safe and secure. And once you step 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.560 outside of that and create a new reality, which is 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:15.240 exactly what you did, that's when you were able to 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.159 find that the safety and security came with you when 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:22.920 you created safety and security, and the illusion of perfectionism 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:26.360 was just keeping you stuck in that. And self forgiveness 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:29.880 and compassion one of the things that kind of happened 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.520 behind the scenes, and it happens for all my clients. 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:34.320 But I just want to brag on you for a moment. 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.680 Is you made that decision. 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:38.920 You drew that line in the sand where you're like, listen, 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:41.000 I'm not judging myself for the fact that I learned 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:44.240 these coping mechanisms at seventeen, and that I've been being 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:47.599 you know, my inner critic, my any inner judger, judging 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.440 mcjudgerson for however many years. I'm not going to sit 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:53.279 here and shame myself for becoming who I've become. But 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:55.160 I'm drawing a line in the sand, and I'm no 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:57.599 longer going to allow this to rule my life. I'm 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:01.800 no longer allowing myself to be this me lacking compassion, 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:06.160 you know, perfectionist itself. And I'm ready to learn this 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:10.560 language of self forgiveness and compassion and really step into that. 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.520 And that's the first step that has to take place, 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:16.040 in my opinion, is making the decision. So learning how 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:19.800 is step two right? The first and foremost becomes making 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:22.280 that decision. So I remember when we were on the 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.400 phone and you made that decision to transform your life. 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.840 But you know from your perspective, what was it like 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:31.520 to decide like, No, I'm I mean again, I'm not 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:34.120 aiming for perfectionism when it comes to self compassion, because 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:36.520 that's its own little double edged sword. But I'm no 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:41.679 longer willing to walk around kind of unconsciously sleepwalking treating 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:42.400 myself this way. 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:43.440 What was that like for you? 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.000 I think it was bringing to life things that I 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:49.200 had said to myself, but it had never like really 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:54.320 put thought behind, like I'm worthy, I'm good enough, I 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:56.960 you know, I do X y Z. How I was 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:01.920 judging myself was really internalized, and those that knew me 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:06.320 well were actually quite surprised to hear how harshly I 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:12.360 was speaking to myself about myself I know that I 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:17.720 am naturally, you know, a cheerful, optimistic, joyful person. And 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:21.600 to know that my inner conversation was not cheerful and 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:25.040 joyful and loving and kind was a big thing for 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:28.400 me to admit. It took a lot of vulnerability to 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:32.360 say that out loud to somebody else and to allow 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:37.400 them to see a glimpse of what that inner conversation 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:44.280 was looking like, and that change was empowering. And it's 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:47.439 not perfect, you know. There are still days that I'll 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:50.160 catch myself saying, oh, why did you do that? But 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.920 I don't ruminate on things the way I had, you know, 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:58.959 stressing about every detail or why didn't I say X 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:03.000 y Z in this kind conversation. I'm giving myself a 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:07.560 past to be human, to say humans are never supposed 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:11.559 to be perfect. We are going to make mistakes. Can 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:16.120 I strive to be great? Can I strive to be excellent? Absolutely? 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:21.000 But what excellent? In? What excellent? In being myself? I 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:25.920 want to be excellent in how I treat myself. I 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:29.120 want to be excellent in the kindness that I show 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:31.400 to others. That doesn't mean I'm going to do it 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:36.040 right every single time, But can I practice being that 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:39.400 best self and forgive myself for the times when I 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:40.880 make mistakes along the way. 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:43.240 For you, what was it like to Because we're talking 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:45.360 about self compassion beyond the reflection, and I know for 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:49.480 you you had a beautiful interaction and conversation with your 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:51.959 body over the years too, because I think some people 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:54.280 think like, oh, I'll be compassionate with myself when I 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:56.000 get to my ideal weight or when I look a 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.520 certain way. But it's like, no, stop and become her 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:02.160 now while you work on the rest or you know, 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:05.280 get healthier or whatever your goals are. Can you talk 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:07.960 to us a little bit about your experience with self 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:11.160 compassion that had nothing to do or that was independent 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:17.959 of your reflection in the mirror. Can you talk to 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:21.119 us a little bit about your experience with self compassion 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:24.000 that had nothing to do or that was independent of 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:25.200 your reflection in the mirror. 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:29.840 I vividly remember the day that I looked in the 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:35.000 mirror and I didn't say anything unkind to myself, and 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:38.520 I like, I wasn't talking myself out of saying anything unkind. 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:41.480 That I looked in the mirror and I said, you 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:46.000 look lovable. It was such a profound moment for me, 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:50.240 like it's making me smile thinking about it. I remember 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.600 like it brought tears to my eyes because it was 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:57.800 such a shift for me in self acceptance and in 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:02.880 forgiveness who I am. It wasn't like, oh, you know, 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:07.000 this doesn't fit, or that I was not critiquing myself. 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:13.680 I was firmly accepting myself. And that was like such 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:18.600 a beautiful guiding moment for me in giving myself compassion 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:23.320 and forgiveness and also permission to love and to be loved. 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:26.760 And that was, you know, such a huge part of 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:31.360 this journey was allowing myself to say, you don't have 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:35.560 to be perfect to love yourself, you don't have to 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:40.720 do every single thing right to forgive yourself. Being able 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:45.760 to offer the same forgiveness to me that I was 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:50.600 offering to others shifted how I was living my life. 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:54.360 I'm still striving to do things well. That's part of 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:58.319 how I'm wired and who I am and how I 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:03.480 live my life. To let go of the reins and 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:08.440 know that I can be excellent without controlling every single thing, 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:13.840 and I feel better being able to lean into the 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:17.120 things I know I'm really good at doing and shine 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:20.800 there allow my light to shine. That piece of self. 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:25.680 Forgiveness allowed me to be more fully who I am 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:30.480 and to bring my gifts forward and have confidence in 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:34.200 that knowing that I'm not supposed to do everything perfectly. 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:37.199 There's not a single person on earth who does, and 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:40.520 that I you know, when I mess up, I can 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:45.080 soothe myself in ways that are also loving and kind. 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:45.680 You know. 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:50.440 I learned the value of a nice, warm shower or 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:54.559 a hug, like how healing a hug is and how 0:12:54.679 --> 0:13:00.520 good it feels to connect with somebody who also enjoys 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.559 the beauty of nature. I found that walking and talking 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:06.560 is one of the things that I love and that 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:11.240 soothes me. The sound of the ocean or hearing music 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:14.840 or letting myself just sing. Those are the ways that 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:20.679 I freed myself. And none of those are done perfectly. 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:23.680 There's no way to do them perfectly. And that gave 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:28.040 me permission to say, Okay, I can live life in 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:31.560 a really wonderful, beautiful way that has nothing to do 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:32.200 with perfection. 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:34.800 Oh so beautifully said. 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.000 And it's so interesting because everything that you just said, 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.760 and there was a series of different transformations that occurred 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:40.960 within what you just shared. 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:42.680 It really all started with. 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:45.760 A decision, you know, and sometimes that decision looks like, Hey, 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:48.040 I don't even know what it looks like to do 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:50.160 this and to step into this, but I am committed. 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:53.960 And sometimes it means saying like, hey, I'm scared and 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.679 I'm you know, nervous about leaving my past behind and 0:13:57.720 --> 0:13:59.840 stepping into something new, but drawing that line in this. 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.720 And you know, one of the things that I love 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:06.040 about your journey to is it's witnessing you, like you said, 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:10.200 step into knowing who you are, but then being unapologetic 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.600 about letting others see you in that as well. And 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.320 it's so interesting because when you shared that experience of 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:19.360 you looking in the mirror, I mean, for anybody listening 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:20.800 to this, I want you to just think, when was 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:22.400 the last time you looked in the mirror and you 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:27.120 didn't Your first thought wasn't anything about a physical attribute 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:30.000 about yourself, right, It wasn't about how air quotes fat 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:32.400 or skinny you think you look, or how air quotes 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.880 ugly or pretty you think you look, or whatever it is. 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:36.880 Maybe you're saying all the great things, but there's still 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.480 these physical things. That moment was so profound for you 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.240 because it's the first time, probably ever that you looked 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.520 in the mirror and what reflected back to you had 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:46.480 nothing to do with what you look like. 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:47.360 Right. 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:50.680 I jokingly say, like, what if our what we look 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:53.200 like was the least interesting thing about us or the 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.560 most boring thing about us? And I say it jokingly, 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.400 but I'm also being dead serious, right, And the fact 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.080 that you had that soul moment and in the mirror, 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.640 it's just such a metaphor to the internal journey that 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.160 you went through, and nobody can take that from you, 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:09.680 and you had it fired and wired in your nervous 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:11.640 system from then on, and then you got to just 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:13.800 keep building and building and building and showing up as 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.560 that version of you unapologetically, which actually is a great 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:19.520 segue into what we're going to be talking about next week. So, 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:21.200 first of all, thank you so much for just sharing 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:23.360 that vulnerable piece of you and letting us see an 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:24.600 inside peek into your journey. 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.560 Oh thank you for taking me back there. It made 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:31.360 me smile to remember that moment and to be filled 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:35.360 with that same sense of self acceptance and to be 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:39.120 able to reflect back and see that, yes, I was 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:41.320 scared when I drew that line in the sand. But 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:44.800 I was living in a place that was rooted in fear, 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:48.960 and my perfectionism was rooted in fear, and to be 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:53.560 able to live in a place of gratitude instead has 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:58.320 been so much more fulfilling and has made a world 0:15:58.360 --> 0:15:59.440 of difference in my life. 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:00.680 Absolutely. 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:02.560 Yeah, it's kind of like the devil that you know 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.640 versus the devil that you don't. It's like, you know, 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:07.240 I know when I invite women into the next level 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.920 of freedom or the possibility of freedom, it's like, wait 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:12.120 a minute, Leanne, you're telling me to stop doing the 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.040 one thing or stop trying to control the one thing. 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.280 I've been trying to control my entire life, when ironically, 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:18.960 if we look back at it, it's like the more 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:20.640 we try to control it, the more out of control 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:22.920 we feel. Right, And obviously I'm talking about controlling food, 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:26.120 controlling our body, thinking it'll control us. But it's like 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.760 it's again, it's the devil that you know versus the 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.520 devil that you don't know. What's scarier is staying stuck 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:33.520 living inside the prison that you're in without a key 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:37.240 is so much scarier than the not knowing, right, And 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.920 so I think that's the dance. It's a delicate dance. 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:45.120 It's like do I want you do I not fear security, fear, belief, fear, freedom, 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:47.720 all the things, And it's that our brain just you know, 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.120 trying to do what it does, which is keep us safe, 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:54.080 even when safe is so unsafe. Right, So, such a 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:54.800 great conversation. 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:56.760 We could go on and on about this. I love 0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:57.440 I love. 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.520 These conversations because again, it's so much deeper than the 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:01.440 reflection in the mirror. 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:04.439 It's so there's so much more outside the bounds of 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:05.520 just the food and. 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:09.159 Body recovery conversation, which is such an important conversation, but 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:12.240 it can also be so much more three dimensional than that. Right. 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:14.680 So that being said, we are going to be back 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:17.320 next week and we're going to bring back We touched 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.240 on it a couple weeks ago when Susanne mentioned a 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:22.480 journaling exercise. But we're going to actually take you through 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:25.240 what that looks like in this concept from vision to 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.720 reality through grateful anticipation. 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:29.080 Grateful anticipation. 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:30.840 We're going to tell you exactly what that is and 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:33.240 how to do it and how that showed up in 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.960 Suzanne's life. She's a first hand encounter of the power 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.560 of literally teaching your brain a new thought process and 0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.200 a new program. So thank you so much for being 0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:47.720 here to join us again. And yeah, ladies, if you 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.399 want to learn more about the nitty gritty details of 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:53.200 how to rewire your brain for freedom, head on over 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.520 to stresslesseding dot com. You can check out my entire 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:58.919 masterclass where I've laid out those five steps step by step, 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.120 bit by bit for you. So you can also find 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:04.919 me over at Leanne Ellington on Instagram. Well, we are 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:07.560 signing off for now, see you next Saturday. 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:17.600 Talk to you then bye.