WEBVTT - Ep. 42 — When family splits the bills 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:20.000 Hey, hey, hey, and we're back from Father's Day weekend. 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:21.040 How was your Father's Day? 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.880 Oh? It was good. Actually, I was down in Atlanta again. 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:26.800 I've been to Doorgia twice in two weeks, which is 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:29.760 like kind of nice. So I went down. It was 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:31.800 a double duty. I spent half of it with my 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.960 mom trying on wedding dresses, and the other day I 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:38.040 spent with my dad taking him to All he wanted 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:39.200 was to go to Hibachi grill. 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:41.800 Oh that's yeah. 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:43.159 I never would have agreed to, but I was like, 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:44.479 it's your day, I guess we'll go. 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:48.479 I spent like half my day with my dad, my 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:52.120 sisters and I went to go obviously like visit and 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:54.600 we all brought like lunch, so we had lunch, and 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:56.760 my nephew was there, so everybody was just like, you know, 0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:58.160 he's like the star of the show. We're like, is 0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:02.520 Roman County crawling now and like doing the fake walk 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:04.080 when you like hold onto the couch and you're like, 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:06.399 I can walk, I mean but with the couch assisted, 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.040 so I know, so fun. And then the other half 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:14.360 just back here at home. Superman had like a Father's 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:16.800 Day barbecue with his friends in the backyard and he 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:17.280 had fun. 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:20.039 That's nice. Wait with his daughter. 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:23.920 No, no, yeah, like just the other dads in the 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:26.039 back they just like bought like barbecue stuff and like 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:28.360 ice pops for the kids and just grilled out and 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:30.200 let everybody eat free. 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:31.760 You know. I saw a lot of I wasn't on 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:35.240 my computer so much, but because my uncle was one 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:37.480 of the people who was posting this, I noticed that 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:40.680 there were quite a few posts about single dads and 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:44.360 how apparently there's a trend among single moms on Father's 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:46.880 Day to be like, well, shout out to all them 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:49.800 single moms, who should also get credit for being you know, 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:53.160 the mother and the father, and so apparently there's so 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:54.680 that's like a separate thing. But then there was a 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:56.960 lot of single dads he were posting. He were saying, 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:59.560 you know what, like shout out to all the single dads. 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:01.400 If you're a mom, you don't get to be the 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:04.120 dad too, like, And it seems like there's like a 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:07.120 little bit of like a beef there. And I never 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:11.720 really thought about that as an issue before, but I 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:14.200 could I kind of could see. I could see people's 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:16.560 point when they say, you know, when you are a 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:19.480 single mother, it's important. I read one sort of one 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:23.680 of the more well thought articles posted by a blog 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:28.120 called Wealthy Single Mommy. Oh I know her say hi Emma, Yeah, hey, Amma. 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:30.120 I forget if she wrote it or she just shared 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:31.680 this blog post, but it was more in depth. She 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.720 kind of talked about how when single moms say that 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:37.079 they are, you know, say I'm the mommy and the daddy, 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.000 it just kind of tells kids that it's okay to 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.320 not have a dad and you know, don't feel bad 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:45.040 about not having a dad, and somehow that impacts them 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:48.160 psychologically when they're not allowed to when they're not allowed 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.399 to be sad about not having a dad. 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:55.040 Or Yeah, the truth of the matter is like, I 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:57.440 get it, but you're not a mom and a dad. 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.560 You're a mom and you could be an amazing mom. 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:04.280 You can raise an amazing kid. But that's like saying 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:07.520 I'm your brother and your sister. I mean, I'm your sister. 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:09.880 You know it's okay not to be the brother. It doesn't, 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.120 you know what I mean? I just I don't. I 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:15.800 never get that. I get why. It's because basically I 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:17.760 had to do everything if I'm the single mom, and 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:19.720 like my mom you know, the man in my life 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:22.560 is not helping I get that. But to me, it 0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:26.560 doesn't make you both. It just makes you a great mom. 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:29.959 There's so much like Tiptoe, there's so much. See, I'm 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:31.760 so my I was raised by a single mom. My 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:34.040 parents pers when I was ten, and you know, my 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.600 dad was still in the picture, but he definitely wasn't 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:41.000 the main breadwinner. He wasn't supporting us super financially, and 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:44.240 so having grown up in the situation, and I don't 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:45.760 want to get too much. You know, my mom listens 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:47.560 sometimes I don't want to make her. I don't want 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:48.000 to get in. 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:52.680 Trouble right basically carefully now, because that's that's what it 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:54.920 is you owe in you know, my cousins or around 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:56.320 the age I was one of the you know, their 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.080 parents geting divorce, and I find myself really putting myself 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:00.720 in their shoes because it's so hard. 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:02.880 You love your mom, you love your dad, but you 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.280 see your mom busting her ass to take care of you. 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:09.280 And my mom had four kids ages shoot like fifteen 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:12.040 to five, to take care of on her own, you know, 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:17.560 without a college degree, working a pretty stable job and 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:20.320 doing it all. And it's hard because you have to 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:23.320 as a parent, you have to respect the other parent, 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:26.400 you know, even though that parent may be you know, 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.640 up to no good or not helping out like they 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:31.480 should be, or not helping out equitably. All I've read 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:34.120 and all I've experience is it can be more damaging 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:37.120 when you speak ill of the other parent. Yeah, you 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:40.360 have to sort of always in the kid's mind that 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:45.520 keep a positive impression of or impositive dialogue going about 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:47.880 the other parent, even if you really just need like 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:49.480 a big loss of wine, you just want to murder 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.919 this person, you know, on the regular. 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:56.680 No, No, I agree, because when I used to teach preschool, 0:04:57.600 --> 0:05:01.839 what I found was that kids really saw themselves, you know, 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.000 when parents were not in the picture, They really saw 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:08.400 themselves as half mommy, half daddy, even if daddy kind 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:12.080 of wasn't really there. And if you spoke ill of 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:16.520 their parents, you know, it was like a reflection of them, 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:19.239 like so part of me is bad, you know. Yeah, 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:21.760 And I don't think a lot of parents who you know, 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.160 who are struggling with their significant other not being there, 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:26.840 not being supportive or whatever, I don't think sometimes they 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:27.159 get that. 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:31.040 They're like, it's so hard it's so hard to not 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.080 feel a resentment when you feel like doing it over it. 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.440 That's why I really encourage, you know, I think my parents, 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:37.520 my family waited way too long to go start talking 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.560 to therapists and stuff, and I hope that I feel 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:42.560 like some of the stigma around therapy has changed. But 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:44.040 when I was a kid, like it just wasn't something 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.640 that you did. And I wish my family as a 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:50.080 whole has started talking to someone earlier then we you know, 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:52.520 waiting until we're in our twenties and like, you know, 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:55.279 out in the world, because I feel like, even if 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:58.000 you don't feel like you need it, especially the parent, 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.679 you need that objective adult to talk to about whatever's happening, 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:03.720 so you don't go home and take it out like 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:07.520 your frustrations when you know your kids can hear. Yeah, 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:09.600 that's my parenting advice. 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:14.320 By the day, parenting advice from two non parents. 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:16.840 So today's the first day of summer. 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:21.000 I saw that Facebook told me, facebookbook told me too. Ye, 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:23.080 Facebook tells me everything. 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.679 So you know how when you're becoming an adult, things 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:27.920 don't It's it's like weird because there's not really a 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:30.039 summer vacation. So like, why do I look forward? I 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.920 used to wait for June and now it's like, oh 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:34.680 June still working. 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:37.560 Yeah, and you know what it was like for me? 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.679 It was crazy because I got to elongate that feeling 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.800 because I was a school teacher, so I got that 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:43.760 same summer off. I was like, oh, my life is 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:46.800 still the same. I can't wait the last couple of weeks. 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:48.040 I was like, I don't care what you learned. Just 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:48.440 sit down. 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:52.280 I'm sorry, guys, how does that work when you're a teacher? 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:53.760 What do you get paid over the summer? 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.960 No, so it works one of two ways. Either one 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.360 you just your page just stops in you I'd better 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:02.599 have saved, or you have a boo or somebody that's 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:06.600 gonna help you out, or too. Some schools will actually 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.560 so you get paid for ten months. But some schools 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.880 will escrow some of your money so you can still 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:13.600 get paid during the summer. But not a lot of 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:14.280 schools do that. 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:16.760 Oh that's interesting. I was always curious about that. 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:19.520 No, you have a ten month contract basically, so like 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:21.280 where I worked, it was like ten months. I just 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.000 used to stack my money and then use it in 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:23.480 the summer. 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:25.840 And then do you not get paid for like weeks 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:28.280 off like spring break and winter break and stuff like that. 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:32.120 No, no, you do. It's a salary. So you get 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.000 like your you know, every two weeks you get or 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:35.360 you know, I think that's what it was. Every two 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.880 weeks you get paid regardless, and and then you also 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:40.680 get you know, some vacation days and some sick days. 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:42.760 But no, you get spring break and all of that. 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:45.160 Your check is not shorter. You don't get paid hourly 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:46.520 and the esting. 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:50.840 So there was a lot of news today about this 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:53.200 ticket Master settlement. Did you read about that? 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:55.720 I totally checked and I was so disappointed. 0:07:56.880 --> 0:08:01.560 I am an eight dollars air now eight dollars in. 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.600 There that whole sign. 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:07.720 Well, first, so what I happened was apparently so this 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:09.920 happens a lot of times. There's huge class actions that 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:11.920 go on for years and years, and you have no 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.800 idea you're part of this class action lawsuit until there's 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.840 finally a settlement, and then the attorneys are in charge 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:21.560 of alerting people. So basically, Ticketmaster got sued for tacking 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.480 on extra fees to tickets between the years of like 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:28.800 nineteen ninety seven to twenty thirteen. And so if you 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.800 purchase tickets during that what like sixteen year time period 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.640 you may be eligible for, like I think it's so 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:37.720 it's two dollars and twenty five cents for each ticket 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:43.360 purchased during that sixteen year period up to like seventeen tickets. 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:45.839 So if you're eligible, all you have to do is 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:49.200 basically check your email. You should have. I just I 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:51.120 didn't realize this had been going on, and I get 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:53.000 a lot of junk mail, so I just quickly searched 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.440 my email inbox for ticket Master and actually found the 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:59.720 email saying you're eligible and you go to what's the website, 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:03.079 get mastered dot com slash voucher. 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:05.240 Okay, I think it was like honestly, I just wanted 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:09.079 the Ticketmaster. I logged in and there was there was 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:11.079 a button on the side that said vouchers, and then 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:13.240 I clicked the active voucher and there was nothing, and 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:16.760 I was like, well whatever. I know. 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:23.080 Well, anyway, if I had only had four four tickets, 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.880 four vouchers each for two dollars and twenty five cents, 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:27.959 and I read that you can use up to two 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:30.400 vouchers at a time per so if I go buy 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:33.439 a ticket next time, I can get a whole entire 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:37.640 four dollars and fifty cents off, said a sa, Hey, 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:42.240 that's more money than I had on Ticketmaster yesterday. So yeah, 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.920 I go check logging the Ticketmaster. Just check can't hurt. 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:48.800 Yeah, exactly. So I mean because I know Wells Fargo 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:50.400 was paying out something because a lot of the women 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:53.360 in my DreamCatcher group were getting like seventy dollars checks 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:55.160 from Wells Fargo. I can't remember what they did. 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.080 Oh you know what I bet that is they were 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:01.760 sued class action for do doing that purchase ordering, illegal 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:05.319 purchase ordering on debit accounts. Okay, I think that might 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:07.960 be it. That's when this was like, this isn't happening 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:10.600 as much because obviously they were sued and lost. But 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:14.880 sometimes when you go shopping, instead of banks ordering your 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.400 transactions and the order that you made them, they would 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:20.600 do it like smallest transaction first or largest transaction first, 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:24.320 and people who were like really trying to calculate how 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:26.840 much money they have left would all of a sudden 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:29.640 get hit with a larger fee than they are, larger 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:32.439 than it's expected because of the way the bank was 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:36.480 ordering it. And of course that works for banks because 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:39.920 the average overdraft fee is like thirty five dollars. Yeah, 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:42.240 a pop. So that's what that's about. 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:46.000 Wow, that's crazy, that's crazy. 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:46.480 Yeah. 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:48.480 Well yeah, so a lot of people got money back 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.840 from that too. You just got to be careful sometimes 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:52.840 with banks. Because someone had posted that a bank, the 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:56.360 bank deposited nearly a million dollars in her account. I 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:58.079 think it was either a million or a hundred thousand. I 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:00.720 can't remember the zeros, but some obscene amount of money. 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.200 Of course it was a mistake. They took back the 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:06.560 money plus two thousand dollars and overdrafted her, and they're 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.319 telling her it's going to take two weeks to get 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:11.160 her money back. She's like, so these bills and so 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:13.640 she was freaking Yeah, she was freaking. Yeah, she was 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:15.960 freaking out. It was in the DreamCatcher group and people 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:17.480 were trying to tell her like, you know, like work 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:18.840 for the bank, this is what you should say. And 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.319 some people were telling her that's not possible. I work 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:24.360 for the bank. That would never happen. And people were like, uh, yeah, 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:27.040 it happened to me, Like why would you think she's 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:28.760 just lying? Like what's the purpose of lying in the 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.199 DreamCatcher group to say, hey, the bank took extra money. 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.839 That happens. And actually a friend of mine had called me, 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:36.720 she said, did you see what was posted in the group. 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.560 That happened to me Once they you know, deposited fifty 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:42.160 thousand dollars accidentally and took maybe like you know, one 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.679 hundred or two hundred dollars extra back, and it took 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:46.760 forever to get her money back. But I felt, I 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:48.719 really felt for this woman because she was like, I'm 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.840 already living paycheck to paycheck. I could not afford to 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:54.280 lose a dollar, let alone two thousand, and I'm now 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:56.240 I have to wait for it. And so what happens 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.000 when my bills are late? Are they going to pay 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:01.240 these late fees? And so yeah, we're still trying to 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:04.480 I know, I know, I just it's just crazy that 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:07.560 that's the reason why we do what we do right here. 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:12.080 Hopefully the you know help you navigate those murky waters. 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:15.560 I love writing a good you know big bank screwed 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:17.480 this customer over story. So if you want to email 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:21.200 us at briananmbispodcast at gmail dot com, get in touch 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:23.520 with me, I could put you in a story. That's 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:25.120 the question you know, it's sad, but a lot of 0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:28.560 times those people who write to like newspaper reporters or 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:31.480 consumer reporters with their grievances, and all you have to 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:34.360 do is publish one article saying, you know, bank of 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.680 x mm hmm still took the money from the poor 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:41.640 consumer in you know, Nebraska, and then oh, magically, a 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:42.360 day later. 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.600 Yeah, well you know, I'm gonna look, maybe I'll tag 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:46.120 you in it because I could tell that she was 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.480 just really stressed out and afraid. 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:52.480 Honestly, please, do you know I just I just did 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:56.080 a story on a woman from Seattle, old woman. Her 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.840 name was Stephanie Baker, and she had a taken out 0:12:59.880 --> 0:13:03.080 of payday loan. You know those the loans, and of 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.400 course you know, but for those who don't know payday loans, 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.320 you you know, don't have enough money to cover your bills, 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.600 so you go to these little storefronts and they front 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.440 you the money and it's usually due within fourteen days. 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:18.040 So Stephanie's loan, she took out a loan and she 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:19.640 was a couple months late on it, and she ended 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:23.760 up filing bankruptcy for other reasons. This loan was expunged 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:27.000 in bankruptcy. Shouldn't have been dude. A year later, she 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.920 gets a letter from this payday lending company saying she 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:33.800 now it was some forty thousand dollars, like because of 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.000 interest in late fees and whatnot and whatnot. This was 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:39.480 maybe two three years ago. She's hired attorneys. She spent 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:41.320 one hundred on legals. This is the woman who has 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:43.600 no she doesn't have hundreds to spend because you remember, 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.800 she took out a payday loan as she filed bankruptcy. 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.440 Once you filew bankruptcy and a debt has been discharged, 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.120 those debt collectors are no longer allowed to come after you. 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:56.000 And yet this payday lender continued coming after her. And 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.200 even though she was clearly in the right here and 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.360 shouldn't have been persude, but you said, collector, she still 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.559 had to hire attorneys to represent her and to get 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:07.000 these people off her back. Now, two years later, she 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:10.120 gets her story written and went on Yahoo, and before 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:12.439 that it was covered by a local newspaper. And all 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:14.760 of a sudden, the Patty Landing company comes out and 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:18.000 they're like, oh, whips are bad. That was a typo. 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:22.240 You didn't really want dollars you only owed four hundred 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:26.480 and by the way, that was expungeon bankruptcy, so our bad. 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:30.840 Wow did they? That's just so crazy and it's just 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:33.400 such a shame that, like public shame is the only 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:35.840 thing that helped. Did you see the one about Bank 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.880 of America? How a couple four closed on the actual 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.080 bank of Bank of America, like a local. 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.520 Branch fore closed on the bank. 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:46.000 But no, So this is what happened. I thought it 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:47.560 was like hilarious. So it was a it was a 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:51.080 on the news like whatever the local news was down 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.280 and wherever set down. I think it was in Florida. 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:57.560 So the couple bought a property in cash in full. 0:14:57.600 --> 0:14:59.280 I think it was like three hundred thousand dollars or 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.760 whatever they paid for. The bank sends them a letter 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:04.760 saying you're behind in your mortgage, and they're like, yeah, 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.920 so the thing is, we don't have a mortgage because 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:09.720 we bought the house in full from you. The bank 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.400 considers continues to pursue it for closes on the property, 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:17.120 causes all this money and whatever. So the couple sues 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:19.600 the bank to say, you caused us all this money 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.960 and hardship and blah blah blah, when in fact we 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:26.560 paid for the property in full. The bank was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:28.720 well you know, we'll get around to rectifyd the situation. 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.520 So the couple's attorney says, you know what, the bank, 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:35.200 because they won in court and the bank was it said, 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:36.880 I guess the judge or whatever said yes, the bank 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:38.760 has to pay you back X amount of dollars. Bank 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:43.880 doesn't pay, bank doesn't pay. Attorney files to liquidate the 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:48.080 bank's assets to get his client's money, and the judge agrees, 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.400 and they send the sheriff. Like I'm watching it on 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:54.800 the like this local news on YouTube or on Facebook. 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:56.600 Somebody had posted the link to the local news. So 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.640 if you're watching, like the sheriff go in like they're 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:01.920 actually moving stuff on a moving truck, like starting to 0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:04.000 move things out of the bank, like just like they 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:06.400 would do if they were foreclosing on your house. What 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:10.360 that bank manager flew into his office and called whoever 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.440 and within a few hours that check that they owed 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:15.840 was written. Now, isn't a shame that it takes all 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:19.360 of that to shame you to foreclose on the very 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:22.040 bank that's trying to foreclose on them. I just thought that, 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:26.360 like everybody was like cheering, like yeah, get them, but 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:27.840 it was just like one of my life feel good 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:29.680 like it was posted so many times in the group 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:32.560 because people were just like, yeahs, finally a big bank 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.680 gets their due. And the woman was like, oh, she 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:37.400 was so cute. She was so nervous. She's like, I 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.560 just I just want to have my house. I don't 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:41.840 even care about all this stuff. She just was like, 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:43.920 and it's just a shame that people have to go through. 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.160 That, that you do the right thing by buying a 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:48.400 house in cash, which happened. 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:52.480 Exactly and then exactly, and it's just yeah, it's just 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.040 a shame because you know, the part that makes me 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.600 mad is that I understand that mistakes happen, you know, 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.200 because they do. But when you make a mistake, I 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:03.720 feel like it is your duty to make it right 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:05.760 and not to have somebody wait for you to make 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:07.879 it right or you just like drag your feet for 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:10.440 you to make it right. But that's why I tell people, 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:12.840 if someone does you, like if a company does you wrong, 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:15.200 take it to social media. I know I do every 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:18.119 single time, Like, hey, Staple. So the thing is, I 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.000 was in Staple store number two two one four and 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:23.040 the woman behind the counter. For real, I'll do that, 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.280 and I'm never like, you know, I won't bash anyone, 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:26.600 and I won't say their name, but i'll say, you 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.560 know the clerk, because usually they'll message you the clerk 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.560 behind the counter. You know, I know she might have 0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:34.040 been having a hard day, but she was extremely rude 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:37.520 or they lost my you know, product or whatever it is. 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:40.040 And I'll message them and usually i'll get a message 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.240 back like how can we make this better? Because sometimes 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:46.440 email is slow, but social media is quick fastening. Herry, 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.840 I'll put it on your Facebook page. I'll tweet about it, 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:51.600 and usually, you know, there's some sort of restitution. You 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:53.520 might get a little extra butter on your bagel next 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:58.600 time you go. I know, what are you on your own? 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.320 I have not eaten like carbs in like a week 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:02.840 or so, and I'm dying. 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:06.240 What I'm supposed to be on a paleo. So I'm 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:07.960 doing the CrossFit thing and they gave us some some 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:11.520 sort of nutrition plan and it's like paleo and I'm like, 0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:15.800 I'm too tired of paleo, Like I need carbs. My 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:18.919 nutrition is actually told me, and God bless her. She 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.919 was like Mandy, you may not be very physical at 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:23.520 your jaw, but you use a lot of brain power. 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:26.639 You need some good healthy carbs. Don't trust any diet 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:27.879 that says no carbs. 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:34.000 Okay, well, I it's what is that stuff called car 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:35.639 It's like a protein slash car. 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.080 But it's a complex carbohydrate, you know, just like the 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:41.360 good stuff like broccoli can be considered a good carb 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:45.040 It has carbohydrates like you know, whole grain stuff. But 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:47.560 like she told me, she's like lots of good little tips, 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.159 like don't go out and have the gigantic whole wheat 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:52.320 wrap that has like three hundred calories. But have like 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:55.959 she's like, have a piece of normal sliced toast, like 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:58.359 or normal sized piece of toast. It's not going to 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.600 kill you. I'm just you know, it's all about like 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:04.080 trying to be like a little less. I've done the 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:04.760 extreme stuff. 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:07.760 Yeah, I'm just trying to like I'm trying to find 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:11.800 my happy like place where it's like it's not a diet, 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:15.880 it's just a life thing, you know. Like, oh, like honestly, 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:18.960 I white rice. I actually really really love Kingwa. So 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:21.720 that's not a huge switching from rice to Kingwa wasn't 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:24.160 a huge shift because I think keen Whit is yum 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:28.840 me you know, but it's like, uh, it's the ice cream, 0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:33.879 it's the cookies. Like what I am an addict like 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:37.679 to that crystal sugar is like just even thinking about it, 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:39.280 I'm like, I like when I was a kid, I 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:41.359 used to put the spoon in the white sugar bag 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:42.479 and just give me a scoop. 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:45.760 Was it not long ago you were boosting to this 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.680 ice cream shop in your neighborhood. Yes, two weeks ago. 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:51.919 Yeah. That it's so crazy because someone hit me up 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:53.919 on the behind the scenes. They were like, girl, I 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:56.359 went to Nasta's. Thank you. I was like, you're welcome, 0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:59.760 You are welcome. Nasto's is so yummy. And I'm just 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:01.879 like the other night I was with Supergirl, I was like, 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:03.760 you know what I want? She's like what. I was like, 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:05.800 ice cream? She looked at me like, Tiffy, we're not 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:09.920 supposed to I know, but what if we did ice 0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:14.160 cream in a way that wasn't unhealthy? Like what if 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.320 we Because I went I actually googled healthiest ice cream 0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:18.960 and like one of them was at my local shop 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:22.520 where it was like eighty calories, and but meanwhile it's midnight. 0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:23.760 And I'm like, healthy ice cream? 0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:26.200 Ah, you know what I mean? 0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:28.600 Did they get you one tablespoon and they call that healthy? 0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:32.280 I know, No, it actually wasn't like it wasn't. Honestly, 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:34.000 I felt like it wasn't worth it because I'm like, well, 0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:37.960 darn it, these eighty calories are not even really that flavorful. 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:40.320 It's like, yeah, I felt like I should have just 0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:44.960 had a small scoop of regular delicious just yeah ice cream. 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:48.160 I can't, I can't. Essence is coming up. I told 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:50.720 myself after Essence, I can splurge a little, but I'm 0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:54.280 trying to be snatched and spanks free for essence. That's 0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:56.040 like my goal. Spanks free for essence. 0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:59.720 That's my motto for the wedding. Trying on these dresses, 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:01.359 I was like, I don't want to wear spanks, but 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:03.399 it's less about me losing weight, more about finding a 0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:07.200 dress that you know, isn't highlighting every bump and lump 0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:08.600 and goodie gum drop. 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:11.240 I like that goody goody gum drop. 0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:13.320 I am demed and it's. 0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:14.600 Not even that like because I mean, I don't, I mean, 0:21:14.600 --> 0:21:17.199 I actually like my side It's just that I you 0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:19.240 know how, like some people they gain weight in like 0:21:19.280 --> 0:21:23.000 cute places somewhere. Oh no, oh it is buzzy. 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:29.200 Sorry, I'm like silent. I did that was vibrating. 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:34.720 It was I'm liked you phone, You've betrayed me. So no, 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:36.840 I feel like I can honestly say that, like I 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:40.439 like my body. It's just that, huh. I have the 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:42.240 type of body like some girls when they gain weight, 0:21:42.240 --> 0:21:44.000 they gain weight and like the cute places like ooh, 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:45.720 I'm gaining some weight. Look at my hips or my 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:49.200 booty or my thighs. Girl, I'm like a roly poly 0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:52.040 six year old. I've always been like, when I gain weight, 0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:56.480 it's straight belly. I look back at pictures of you 0:21:56.560 --> 0:21:59.000 as a kid. I was all skinning, bold and just 0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:02.160 this round, and I'm like, why why at thirty six 0:22:02.200 --> 0:22:04.480 am I still dealing with that? So I could be 0:22:04.520 --> 0:22:06.879 skinny and then I have this belly. So that's what 0:22:06.920 --> 0:22:08.760 I struggle with it that it's not really like the 0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:11.680 weight overall. It's just that when I do put on anything, 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:14.199 it doesn't necessarily go to the cute places or it 0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:16.920 goes there, third and fourth, it goes to belly first, second, 0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:17.520 and third. 0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:25.520 Well, just be nice to yourself. I'm say, thank you belly. Hey, 0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:30.040 that belly does a lot of work digesting. That's that 0:22:30.200 --> 0:22:32.640 nasty healthy ice creemy. You keep eating it. 0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:35.000 I mean while I'm like, so some tolerance and the 0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:36.480 belly somehow makes me live. 0:22:36.600 --> 0:22:48.000 Still, thank you belly, Thank you lex something like me 0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:48.719 moving along? 0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:52.320 So are you ready to brown break? Are you boosting? 0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:56.760 I'm gonna take a brown break because am I going first? 0:22:57.200 --> 0:22:58.119 Yeah? You can go first. 0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:01.960 This is really weighing on me. I don't usually get pestered. 0:23:02.000 --> 0:23:03.800 You know, you get these weird phone calls every once 0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:05.879 in a while, you have one of free cruise to 0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:10.760 the Bahamas. I am literally getting five to six phone 0:23:10.800 --> 0:23:13.480 calls a day and I don't know what's happening, like 0:23:14.359 --> 0:23:17.160 I feel. And I'm on the do not Call registry list. 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:19.800 I'm on all of them for cell phones, for landlines. 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:22.080 I know, I am. I check all the time. You 0:23:22.119 --> 0:23:24.080 know what I think it is? I think because I've 0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:27.200 written two stories in the last year about how to 0:23:27.240 --> 0:23:29.960 get yourself, how to stop robo callers, and how to 0:23:30.000 --> 0:23:33.000 get yourself off these like big data, like like magazine 0:23:33.040 --> 0:23:37.120 subscription lists and and like like those things you get 0:23:37.119 --> 0:23:39.040 in the mail, like junk mail and stuff. I feel 0:23:39.080 --> 0:23:42.240 like since I've written those, there's someone out there who's like, we. 0:23:42.280 --> 0:23:45.520 Go get oh really, oh you think? 0:23:45.600 --> 0:23:48.359 So do you get these calls? Though? I feel like 0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:50.679 I feel like this whole do not call registerry thing 0:23:50.800 --> 0:23:51.840 is not working anymore. 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:54.439 I know what you know, because I registered it for 0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:57.240 like a year or so ago, and then every once 0:23:57.280 --> 0:23:58.720 in a while I feel like it expires and I 0:23:58.800 --> 0:24:01.000 go on and put myself back on. But I'm the 0:24:01.000 --> 0:24:02.800 type that I will stay on until you get to 0:24:02.800 --> 0:24:04.640 the point where you're like, if you want to be removed, 0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:07.760 press nine, because then it's never a typical number. And 0:24:07.840 --> 0:24:09.720 I stay on and I will press nine because I'm like, 0:24:09.720 --> 0:24:11.600 why are you calling myself phone? Thanks? 0:24:11.880 --> 0:24:14.040 This is not fair. Well, I'm just gonna I wish 0:24:14.040 --> 0:24:16.240 I'm taking a brown break, but it means nothing, because 0:24:16.240 --> 0:24:21.280 tomorrow I'm going to get five more phone calls, you know, Like, Okay, 0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:24.240 I was gonna say this sort of coincides with so 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.880 this is a time of year, not you know, closer 0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:31.400 in April and May, especially for tax scams, irs scams, 0:24:32.200 --> 0:24:34.439 and I was reading about one. Of course you get 0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:36.000 a phone call and they're like, we're the I R S. 0:24:36.040 --> 0:24:38.040 And if you don't pay your tax bill, then we're gonna, 0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:41.600 you know, sue you for however much money. And little 0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:44.320 old lady in Pensacola, Florida gets all freed and doesn't 0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:46.720 know any better, and all of a sudden, she's sending 0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:51.400 money by wire transfer to a fraudster. Do you know though, 0:24:51.440 --> 0:24:56.200 now that they're using iTunes gift cards for these scams? Really, 0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:59.879 So that's how they're so instead of asking people to 0:25:00.200 --> 0:25:02.760 money via Western Union and money Gram, these like wire 0:25:02.760 --> 0:25:05.960 transfer services, I guess because enough people have realized this 0:25:06.040 --> 0:25:09.879 is that those are scam signals. They've started asking people 0:25:09.960 --> 0:25:13.240 to purchase an iTunes gift card and then send them 0:25:13.280 --> 0:25:16.400 the information on the back, and people are doing it, 0:25:16.480 --> 0:25:19.640 like tens of thousands of people are doing it. And 0:25:19.720 --> 0:25:22.200 one of the most common iTunes gift card scams is 0:25:22.280 --> 0:25:25.159 linked to the IRS scam. They say, you know, you 0:25:25.160 --> 0:25:26.720 owe one hundred bucks on that, you know, but you 0:25:26.720 --> 0:25:29.240 can pay us in an iTunes gift card And people 0:25:29.280 --> 0:25:32.760 are actually doing it. So that's a shocking to me, 0:25:32.840 --> 0:25:35.159 but it's happening. So if you're out there and you 0:25:35.240 --> 0:25:37.200 get a call and someone's asking for an email and 0:25:37.200 --> 0:25:39.760 they're asking you to pay them by iTunes gift card. 0:25:39.920 --> 0:25:43.600 Do not do it, email, the FTC or just ignore 0:25:43.640 --> 0:25:45.560 it because that's not good. 0:25:46.040 --> 0:25:49.760 Exactly. No, that's I feel like there's just so many 0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:51.760 scams out there. If someone is sending you money and 0:25:51.800 --> 0:25:53.639 you don't know them, the chances of it being a 0:25:53.680 --> 0:25:55.600 scam are ninety nine point nine nine nine. 0:25:56.359 --> 0:26:00.560 You see the cf the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, it's 0:26:00.600 --> 0:26:03.480 Consumer Finance dot gov. If you ever want to complain 0:26:03.840 --> 0:26:06.840 about a company or your bank or your whatever financial product, 0:26:06.880 --> 0:26:09.080 this is where you go. But I was looking and 0:26:09.119 --> 0:26:14.080 the complaints for money transfers have skyrocketed in the last year, 0:26:14.320 --> 0:26:16.280 and most of it is due to this kind of fraud. 0:26:17.359 --> 0:26:19.679 Yeah, because people think like, oh wow, this is awesome, 0:26:19.680 --> 0:26:22.000 an awesome opportunity. It is easy to get swept away. 0:26:22.040 --> 0:26:25.359 But yeah, if you don't know someone and they're sending 0:26:25.440 --> 0:26:27.399 you money, that should be the first red flag. Like, 0:26:27.480 --> 0:26:29.520 why in this day and age would somebody be sending 0:26:29.560 --> 0:26:32.440 you money or sending you a gift or whatever, just because. 0:26:32.800 --> 0:26:36.800 At least of all and iTunes gift card exactly exactly. 0:26:37.040 --> 0:26:40.720 That's how my husband said, my husband, my sister's my 0:26:40.840 --> 0:26:44.560 sister's husband says, he's he has a really thick Nigerian accent, Hey, Manuel, 0:26:44.800 --> 0:26:48.440 and it's just cute. He always says like exactly exactly, 0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:51.119 and I love it. And whenever he says that, I 0:26:51.160 --> 0:26:53.240 like repeat it. I don't think he realizes that, like 0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:55.760 I'm saying it in like the way he says it. 0:26:55.800 --> 0:26:58.080 He's like, yeah, yeah, I'm like, no, no, I'm slightly 0:26:58.160 --> 0:27:03.560 mocking you. But it's a nice way exactly. So I 0:27:03.600 --> 0:27:06.040 switched up my brown break. I'm taking a brown break. 0:27:06.080 --> 0:27:07.520 I didn't even tell you, Mandy. I got to a 0:27:07.520 --> 0:27:09.960 car accident on Saturday. 0:27:10.119 --> 0:27:10.919 I'm so sorry. 0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:14.640 I know it wasn't like terrible, but so I'm taking 0:27:14.680 --> 0:27:16.560 a ground break from terrible drivers. 0:27:16.920 --> 0:27:19.920 It's just good your your the car had forever. Did 0:27:19.960 --> 0:27:22.000 you get the new car the No. 0:27:22.800 --> 0:27:26.280 This is the loaner car that I got from my 0:27:26.400 --> 0:27:30.800 new sponsors. No way, wait, you don't understand. I was like, 0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:32.560 of course, I have literally not been a car accident 0:27:32.560 --> 0:27:35.480 in like fifteen years. And I was like, literally I 0:27:35.520 --> 0:27:37.800 was thinking to myself, of course, like why wouldn't this happen? 0:27:37.920 --> 0:27:41.240 Of course? Oh no, And literally I barely drove the 0:27:41.240 --> 0:27:42.720 car because I was so nervous. I was like, it's 0:27:42.720 --> 0:27:44.719 not mine. It's not mine. I feel so nervous. Even 0:27:44.760 --> 0:27:47.080 though it's in short and so short on my end, 0:27:47.119 --> 0:27:49.080 inn on their end, but I still felt like it's 0:27:49.080 --> 0:27:51.560 not mine. But then I was like, you know what, 0:27:51.680 --> 0:27:53.320 I'm going to be a big girl and do what 0:27:53.400 --> 0:27:55.760 I was hired to do and drive the car. I 0:27:55.840 --> 0:27:58.119 drove it maybe like twice, but very short distances, and 0:27:58.160 --> 0:28:00.440 I was just literally going around the corner. I pulled 0:28:00.440 --> 0:28:02.440 out of the drive parking lot. I'm in the street 0:28:02.480 --> 0:28:05.320 and this woman rips around the corner. She's not paying 0:28:05.320 --> 0:28:09.360 attention and she slams into me, and like I didn't 0:28:09.359 --> 0:28:11.280 get hurt. Like it's a testament to how all the 0:28:11.320 --> 0:28:13.280 cars built. Like I barely felt it. Like on the 0:28:13.280 --> 0:28:16.159 outside it looks crazy, but honestly, on the inside of 0:28:16.160 --> 0:28:17.359 it, it didn't feel like anything. 0:28:17.480 --> 0:28:20.480 You know, what kind of car is it? 0:28:20.119 --> 0:28:24.879 She hit the my side, the driver's side. It's a 0:28:24.920 --> 0:28:28.720 Ford Fusion, a twenty seventeen Forth Fusion, and so she 0:28:28.800 --> 0:28:30.600 hit it pretty hard. It was just like because all 0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:33.040 you heard was and she's turning the corner to come 0:28:33.080 --> 0:28:36.040 up the street and bun and I could see her 0:28:36.119 --> 0:28:38.680 and there was plenty of room. I was like, ooh good, 0:28:38.720 --> 0:28:40.840 if I stopped right here, she has room to pass me. 0:28:41.360 --> 0:28:43.760 But she wasn't looking, so she was hugging my side 0:28:43.760 --> 0:28:46.520 of the street and I was like, oh my gosh, 0:28:46.560 --> 0:28:48.120 I'm honking the horn, haarking the horn because I didn't 0:28:48.120 --> 0:28:49.600 have time to reverse. But I was like, if she 0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:51.960 could just see even last minute, she had time to 0:28:52.000 --> 0:28:54.440 swerve because there was still room in the street, but 0:28:54.560 --> 0:28:56.920 she was on the phone and she just slammed into it, 0:28:57.800 --> 0:28:59.640 I know, And I was like, huh boy. So I 0:28:59.640 --> 0:29:01.680 get out and I'm like, are you okay? And she 0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:04.240 was like yes because I live in the hood, and 0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:06.200 I was just like, you know what, let me leave 0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:08.640 her alone. And so everybody's like outside like and they 0:29:08.640 --> 0:29:11.240 were like, oh my gosh, you know, is everybody okay? 0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:13.080 And we're like yeah, she said yeah, she hit me. 0:29:13.520 --> 0:29:15.720 And that's when everyone, including myself and the rest of 0:29:15.720 --> 0:29:18.000 the hood stops and says wait. 0:29:17.800 --> 0:29:20.240 What wait hit She says, you hit her? 0:29:20.680 --> 0:29:24.560 Yes, and literally we are we all paused for a minute. 0:29:24.560 --> 0:29:27.680 We're like what's happening? And then all hell broke blues. 0:29:27.680 --> 0:29:31.440 What I didn't even have to say anything. Everybody was furious. God, 0:29:31.560 --> 0:29:38.240 you a damn not. You know, everybody's grandma, uncle, the kids, 0:29:38.280 --> 0:29:40.760 the babies. Everyone was jumping down her throat. I felt 0:29:40.800 --> 0:29:42.360 kind of bad for her. They were like, you are liar, 0:29:42.920 --> 0:29:45.200 you were speeding, and she was you were on the phone. 0:29:45.520 --> 0:29:47.280 She was like, ah, my boyfriend's my witness. I was 0:29:47.280 --> 0:29:50.040 on the phone with him. They're like, exactly, how can 0:29:50.120 --> 0:29:52.320 he be your witness? He's not even here. You're not 0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:54.880 supposed to be on the phone. You're speeding. And she 0:29:55.000 --> 0:29:57.240 lived around there and I lived around the corner, so 0:29:57.240 --> 0:29:59.400 but I never met them, like the neighbors who were 0:29:59.440 --> 0:30:01.360 kind of out, and so she was thicking to her 0:30:01.400 --> 0:30:03.400 story of I hit her, and I said, you know, 0:30:03.440 --> 0:30:06.080 so I didn't beyond the you know, are you okay 0:30:06.320 --> 0:30:08.440 likens registration please. I didn't say anything else to her 0:30:08.480 --> 0:30:10.240 because I saw where this was going. I'm like, well, 0:30:10.280 --> 0:30:12.320 there's nothing else to say, so we'll just wait for 0:30:12.360 --> 0:30:17.280 the police. So I called the EMS and they came 0:30:17.320 --> 0:30:19.640 out because I just wanted to make sure that Supergirl 0:30:19.680 --> 0:30:20.360 was in the car with me. 0:30:20.560 --> 0:30:21.479 So she was shaking up. 0:30:22.000 --> 0:30:24.280 Yeah, but she wasn't hurt and Luckily we were literally 0:30:24.320 --> 0:30:25.960 still like right by the house, so she ran to 0:30:25.960 --> 0:30:29.400 get her dad, but she was fine, but they just 0:30:29.400 --> 0:30:31.360 wanted to check us out. And so so the woman 0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:35.400 who hit us, you know, declined being checked out, and 0:30:35.480 --> 0:30:37.160 I was like, okay, So we waited for the police. 0:30:37.160 --> 0:30:39.560 They came. They took the report, and there was like 0:30:39.600 --> 0:30:42.000 three witnesses, you know, So they took they're like name 0:30:42.040 --> 0:30:43.600 and information, and I took it too, just to be 0:30:43.640 --> 0:30:46.200 on the safe side. So I'm thinking, like, okay, she 0:30:46.440 --> 0:30:48.400 will claim under her insurance, I claim, but her mind 0:30:48.400 --> 0:30:50.400 will move our separate ways. So apparently she decided to 0:30:50.440 --> 0:30:53.680 call my insurance company to say not only is her 0:30:53.720 --> 0:30:57.720 car damage, but she it's physically in hurting. And I 0:30:57.840 --> 0:30:59.720 was like, so I see where. 0:30:59.560 --> 0:31:01.360 There says just too much judge studio. 0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:03.960 Yeah, what she is clearly trying to go for everything. 0:31:04.280 --> 0:31:05.920 And so you know, I gave the story to my 0:31:06.000 --> 0:31:08.720 insurance and I told them I'm not gonna say that 0:31:08.720 --> 0:31:10.440 she's not because I'm not her, but I will say 0:31:10.680 --> 0:31:14.120 that the EMS came checked me and the little girl 0:31:14.120 --> 0:31:16.080 that was with me out and she refused service. So 0:31:16.240 --> 0:31:18.520 I just think it's very curious how she didn't want 0:31:18.520 --> 0:31:20.120 to get checked out. But now she's saying that she's 0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:23.400 physically hurt. And luckily I was able to give them, 0:31:23.440 --> 0:31:25.320 like all the witnesses, Like I said, I didn't know them, 0:31:25.600 --> 0:31:27.480 but they all gave me their name number and addresses, 0:31:27.480 --> 0:31:29.640 and I gave it to the insurance company, and so 0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:33.560 I'm pretty confident that they're gonna deny her claim. And 0:31:33.600 --> 0:31:36.920 then you know, the people who own my car will 0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:38.680 you know, will take care of their car. But I 0:31:38.720 --> 0:31:42.160 just felt really bad, you know, because I just so 0:31:42.240 --> 0:31:43.840 I want to take a brown break from people who 0:31:43.920 --> 0:31:46.080 drive terribly. And if you do drive terribly and you 0:31:46.200 --> 0:31:49.120 end up getting to a car accident, be honest, like, 0:31:49.600 --> 0:31:52.479 because I'm assuming she did have insurance, but I'm assuming 0:31:52.520 --> 0:31:55.520 she must only have liability and her insurance will not 0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:57.640 take care of her car. So she's looking for someone 0:31:57.680 --> 0:31:59.760 to pay for the damage to her car. But I'm 0:31:59.760 --> 0:32:01.760 gonna but then you know right now, young woman, that 0:32:02.360 --> 0:32:03.200 it would not be me. 0:32:04.200 --> 0:32:08.320 So you get the wrong woman, I know. 0:32:08.760 --> 0:32:11.680 I suggest that you ask for overtime or a raise 0:32:11.920 --> 0:32:13.600 or whatever it is that you've been holding back on, 0:32:13.800 --> 0:32:16.280 and you get your finances all the way together, because 0:32:16.720 --> 0:32:19.280 I've already informed my insurance company that like, you know, 0:32:19.600 --> 0:32:22.120 the things that you said, we're not true, and you 0:32:22.160 --> 0:32:24.840 know that I'm not liable for the damage to your car. 0:32:25.040 --> 0:32:26.920 And although I'm sorry that we got into an accident, 0:32:27.240 --> 0:32:29.640 it's not okay to lie, and especially to add on too, 0:32:29.680 --> 0:32:31.920 It's worse. It's bad enough to say it's not my fault, 0:32:31.960 --> 0:32:33.920 it's another thing to say it's not my fault and oh, 0:32:33.920 --> 0:32:36.160 I'm hurt. Meanwhile, she was running back and forth and 0:32:36.480 --> 0:32:38.600 in people's faces. I'm like, this doesn't look like someone 0:32:38.600 --> 0:32:43.680 who's hurt and refuses medical attention. So yeah, brown break, honey. 0:32:43.680 --> 0:32:47.200 I was just like, oh, well, I'm really glad that 0:32:47.240 --> 0:32:50.280 you're both okay. Yeah, that's scary. It's so scary of 0:32:50.320 --> 0:32:52.720 what can happen with distracted driving. It's never been worse 0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:53.920 man since cell phones. 0:32:54.000 --> 0:32:55.840 Yeah, what, it's. 0:32:55.680 --> 0:33:00.240 Scary, And it's a good thing you've had insurance. I'm 0:33:00.280 --> 0:33:02.400 interested to see. I wonder if your policy it will 0:33:02.400 --> 0:33:03.560 be impacted by it. 0:33:03.560 --> 0:33:05.760 I know, and I'm hoping that if they deny her 0:33:05.800 --> 0:33:07.440 that my policy won't be impacted. 0:33:08.560 --> 0:33:09.600 It wasn't your phone. 0:33:09.760 --> 0:33:11.760 Yeah, but you never you know, insurance companies they don't 0:33:11.760 --> 0:33:13.760 need much to increase your policy. 0:33:14.360 --> 0:33:16.800 So what happens with Ford? Are you going to get 0:33:16.840 --> 0:33:19.120 another loaner or what happened? 0:33:19.200 --> 0:33:21.160 No, the loaner was only for a short period. It 0:33:21.200 --> 0:33:23.360 was it was for a week. Actually today was the day. 0:33:23.440 --> 0:33:25.560 I was like, of course, two days before I returned. 0:33:26.800 --> 0:33:30.560 So they came by with a tow truck. I thought, 0:33:30.760 --> 0:33:32.880 you don't understand. I got back in the house, like, 0:33:33.280 --> 0:33:35.280 the accident didn't bother me. Even the woman saying I 0:33:35.320 --> 0:33:37.320 hate her, that didn't bother me. But just I just 0:33:37.360 --> 0:33:39.720 felt like an irresponsible child. I was like in the 0:33:39.760 --> 0:33:41.920 house and Superman was like, are you okay? And I 0:33:42.000 --> 0:33:43.960 was like, and that's when I burst into tears. He 0:33:44.040 --> 0:33:46.440 was like, wait are you I was like, I don't 0:33:46.480 --> 0:33:48.160 want them to be bad at me. And then Supergirl 0:33:48.200 --> 0:33:52.120 starts crying because she was like I know. She was like, Tippy, 0:33:52.400 --> 0:33:53.880 I can get on the phone with them and tell 0:33:53.920 --> 0:33:55.920 them you didn't hit her. And I was like, oh, 0:33:56.120 --> 0:33:58.040 now I gotta stop crying so she can stop crying. 0:33:59.440 --> 0:34:02.600 But yeah, I was feeling just so like bad because 0:34:02.600 --> 0:34:05.720 it's like, you let me something that's yours and it's precious, 0:34:05.760 --> 0:34:07.880 and I broke it. I felt like a five year. 0:34:07.760 --> 0:34:11.279 Old, Well, I'm sure they understood, and that they didn't 0:34:11.360 --> 0:34:12.520 then boom. 0:34:12.440 --> 0:34:13.800 No, no they did. They were so nice about it. 0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:15.680 They're like, typically we just are concerned as long long 0:34:15.719 --> 0:34:18.120 as you're okay. And I was just like, honestly, they 0:34:18.160 --> 0:34:20.440 were really really really nice about it. Nobody was like, 0:34:20.560 --> 0:34:23.800 oh my car, you know. So it's just me feeling 0:34:23.880 --> 0:34:26.400 like bad because I'm like, literally, I have not been 0:34:26.400 --> 0:34:28.160 in a car accident since I was like twenty one. 0:34:28.200 --> 0:34:30.719 I'm thirty six, and it would be with a car 0:34:30.880 --> 0:34:32.640 that's not mine that I didn't even get to leave 0:34:32.680 --> 0:34:34.480 with it. I'm like in the parking like wow, I 0:34:34.520 --> 0:34:44.160 gotta leave. Oh not today. 0:34:45.000 --> 0:34:47.359 Alrighty, we have a really cool we have a good 0:34:47.440 --> 0:34:50.160 question today. I'm excited about this question, and if you 0:34:50.239 --> 0:34:52.440 have a question, we've been getting some good ones. If 0:34:52.440 --> 0:34:54.560 you don't hear your question today, it doesn't mean that 0:34:54.600 --> 0:34:56.160 we don't have it. It just means that we have a 0:34:56.160 --> 0:34:57.719 lot and we're trying to work our way through them. 0:34:57.760 --> 0:35:01.200 So don't be shy. Email us a on Ambition podcast 0:35:01.360 --> 0:35:04.359 at gmail dot com. You can also take questions on 0:35:04.400 --> 0:35:08.280 Twitter at the BA podcast on Facebook at Brown Ambition. 0:35:08.520 --> 0:35:11.640 There's actually a you can actually message us on Facebook, 0:35:11.640 --> 0:35:14.719 it won't be public, and that's another way to get 0:35:14.760 --> 0:35:20.160 your question in. Today's question comes from listener Shre. I 0:35:20.160 --> 0:35:23.600 hope I'm pronouncing that right. I have a question. She 0:35:23.680 --> 0:35:25.920 says about a year ago, I moved in with my 0:35:26.040 --> 0:35:28.759 eldest sister after a bad divorce, and we sat down 0:35:28.760 --> 0:35:31.920 and discussed what I would pay monthly. Everything has been 0:35:31.920 --> 0:35:36.799 going smoothly. However, you knew it was coming. Yeah, when 0:35:36.800 --> 0:35:41.560 do you say, sisters living together? Okay, yeah, I'm ready. However, 0:35:41.800 --> 0:35:44.600 last week she had a certain alarm company come out 0:35:44.600 --> 0:35:48.080 to give an estimate on going digital and adding cameras, 0:35:48.080 --> 0:35:50.600 et cetera. She asked me to sit in so he 0:35:50.640 --> 0:35:53.240 could explain what they were offering. This is all caps. 0:35:53.600 --> 0:35:56.839 I know my sister. She wants me to help her 0:35:56.880 --> 0:35:59.080 pay for these upgrades, and I feel that's a personal 0:35:59.160 --> 0:36:01.440 choice and should not to help pay for the upgrades 0:36:01.440 --> 0:36:04.600 to the system. I don't mind contributing more money monthly, 0:36:04.880 --> 0:36:06.520 but I don't feel I should pay for any of 0:36:06.520 --> 0:36:09.280 the equipment upgrades. I want to do the right thing. However, 0:36:09.320 --> 0:36:11.200 I would not ask as if anyone if it were 0:36:11.320 --> 0:36:16.959 my house, your opinion would be greatly appreciated Oo, so 0:36:17.480 --> 0:36:20.719 should she have to pay for these expensive upgrades to 0:36:20.800 --> 0:36:22.080 the security system? 0:36:23.520 --> 0:36:26.759 So she said, her name is Shri Courty. Yes, oh, Sre. 0:36:27.239 --> 0:36:30.440 I moved in with my sister for about nine months, 0:36:30.680 --> 0:36:33.160 six months more than she would be happy to admit 0:36:33.239 --> 0:36:37.080 to because I went through I didn't go through divorce, 0:36:37.120 --> 0:36:39.120 but me, my long term boyfriend had broken up, and 0:36:39.160 --> 0:36:40.759 I had lost my job and I lost my home. 0:36:41.040 --> 0:36:42.680 So she kind of opened up her space to me 0:36:43.040 --> 0:36:46.640 and allowed me to stay. It's not easy to have 0:36:46.719 --> 0:36:50.560 someone come into your personal space and say, even if 0:36:50.600 --> 0:36:54.319 you're paying, it's still she's still doing and I want 0:36:54.320 --> 0:36:56.160 I don't want to call it a favor, but she's 0:36:56.160 --> 0:36:59.720 still extending herself to you. You're not on equal footing. 0:36:59.719 --> 0:37:01.959 It's far is like, oh, well, you know I pay 0:37:02.000 --> 0:37:04.719 this and I pay that. So I'm not saying that 0:37:05.880 --> 0:37:09.960 you know, you have to put money towards the system, 0:37:10.040 --> 0:37:12.560 but honestly, you don't also have to stay there, and 0:37:12.640 --> 0:37:15.759 so you know what I mean. So that's what I'd say, 0:37:15.760 --> 0:37:18.319 is that if my sister at the time asked me 0:37:18.360 --> 0:37:21.760 to contribute, would I be pissed? Sure, But it's her house, 0:37:22.080 --> 0:37:24.040 so it's almost like when you live with your parents, 0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:26.680 and your mom's like, well, these are the rules, and 0:37:26.719 --> 0:37:31.480 even if the rules are unreasonable, guess what, it's her house. 0:37:31.760 --> 0:37:33.880 So even if the rules are unreasonable, she can make 0:37:33.920 --> 0:37:35.640 it reasonable rules. She can make a rule that every 0:37:35.640 --> 0:37:38.359 Wednesday you have to wear purple. It's her house. So 0:37:38.600 --> 0:37:41.640 if she's asking that this is you staying, there's contingent 0:37:41.719 --> 0:37:44.520 upon this. It's still her house. So you can't make 0:37:44.560 --> 0:37:47.480 a rule for her house. So if it's a rule 0:37:47.520 --> 0:37:49.279 that you don't like or you don't you know, you 0:37:49.320 --> 0:37:52.719 don't agree to, then you are welcome, honestly, to find 0:37:52.719 --> 0:37:54.479 another place to live. I'm not trying to sound harsh 0:37:54.520 --> 0:37:57.280 because I was the can I stay with you sister 0:37:57.440 --> 0:37:59.040 so and I was pissed when she asked me to 0:37:59.080 --> 0:38:02.200 move out because she couldn't take it anymore. But on 0:38:02.360 --> 0:38:04.600 now that I've like moved on and I got my 0:38:04.640 --> 0:38:06.759 own place, I realized just how hard it was for 0:38:06.840 --> 0:38:08.960 her for me to be there for an extended period 0:38:08.960 --> 0:38:11.160 of time. So that's kind of like my two cents. 0:38:11.680 --> 0:38:13.960 Yeah, and I guess mine is that if these if 0:38:14.000 --> 0:38:16.520 she'd already had this expensive alarm system when you moved in, 0:38:16.640 --> 0:38:19.520 she would have considered that in the amount that you 0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:23.719 were contributing. Probably so if they had been I guess 0:38:23.719 --> 0:38:25.279 what I'm asking is if they'd have been installed the 0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:27.200 month before you moved in, would you also be putting 0:38:27.239 --> 0:38:31.240 up a fight having a contribute for them. But also, 0:38:31.320 --> 0:38:33.480 she hasn't asked you yet, and I don't want you 0:38:33.600 --> 0:38:36.279 to assume that she's gonna be coming for you to 0:38:36.320 --> 0:38:39.360 help with these upgrades. If she does, and it's within 0:38:39.400 --> 0:38:41.480 your means to help her pay for them, then maybe 0:38:41.560 --> 0:38:43.640 you can work out something similar to how you worked 0:38:43.640 --> 0:38:45.680 at the other expenses. You know, maybe you can kick 0:38:45.719 --> 0:38:49.240 in twenty five percent or you know, half percent, fifty percent. 0:38:49.400 --> 0:38:52.440 I know divorces can be expensive. I mean I've watched 0:38:54.239 --> 0:38:56.920 I know more than many people just from watching you know, 0:38:57.040 --> 0:39:00.120 family members go through it. It's incredibly to expense, and 0:39:00.680 --> 0:39:04.120 in those attorneys' fees they build up, and especially if 0:39:04.120 --> 0:39:06.680 you're used to having a second income, we don't even 0:39:06.680 --> 0:39:09.560 know what your financial situation is. So yeah, I think 0:39:09.600 --> 0:39:12.280 if you're just open with your sister about your financial situation, 0:39:12.440 --> 0:39:15.719 she'll know what she can expect of you. And if 0:39:15.719 --> 0:39:17.520 you're you know, have a good relationship. And it sounds 0:39:17.560 --> 0:39:20.239 like you do, since she was, you know, nice enough 0:39:20.239 --> 0:39:23.080 to open up her house to you, then I think 0:39:23.120 --> 0:39:26.560 you guys can work out something reasonable. But I think 0:39:26.600 --> 0:39:28.960 going in defensively off the bat before you even know 0:39:29.000 --> 0:39:30.919 what she expects of you, saying I know my sister 0:39:31.000 --> 0:39:33.439 and she wants me to you know, maybe you do, 0:39:33.600 --> 0:39:36.680 but maybe you don't. Maybe she'll surprise you, and you 0:39:36.719 --> 0:39:38.919 know if she you know, like I said, just talk, 0:39:39.040 --> 0:39:41.640 talk it through and be open about what you can afford. 0:39:41.920 --> 0:39:45.000 Exactly and honestly, like you said, because it's like at 0:39:45.000 --> 0:39:47.680 one point, like my sister had moved in with me earlier, 0:39:48.160 --> 0:39:50.919 and when we looked at her budget, she couldn't afford 0:39:50.960 --> 0:39:53.560 a whole lot. So sometimes just sitting down and looking 0:39:53.600 --> 0:39:56.200 at the numbers makes it better. So it's not like 0:39:56.280 --> 0:39:58.600 I just don't want to pay. It's like, well, here's 0:39:58.640 --> 0:40:01.000 my budget, here's what i'm making, here's what I'm spending, 0:40:01.280 --> 0:40:03.239 and this is kind of what I can afford. Like 0:40:03.320 --> 0:40:06.560 so that we were making a collective decision versus someone 0:40:06.640 --> 0:40:08.799 saying you had better and someone saying no, I'm not. 0:40:09.960 --> 0:40:11.839 You know, I just reread it. She says she's lived 0:40:11.840 --> 0:40:12.799 there for about a year. 0:40:13.320 --> 0:40:14.759 Ooh girl, and for me. 0:40:14.960 --> 0:40:17.560 That kind of says, you know, when amenities are added 0:40:17.640 --> 0:40:19.640 that she's fand her into how much you're paying. So 0:40:19.760 --> 0:40:22.799 I'm definitely I'm in the camp of suck it up 0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:25.560 and andy, hey, your sister. 0:40:25.800 --> 0:40:27.280 Or get your own place right. 0:40:27.200 --> 0:40:28.560 Or get your own long time. 0:40:29.120 --> 0:40:31.400 I'm telling you. Tracy my sister, she was like, I 0:40:31.440 --> 0:40:33.319 just remember the day she came home and I was 0:40:33.360 --> 0:40:34.920 like on the couch and she just looked at me. 0:40:35.000 --> 0:40:38.480 I said, oh, because I could see the look on 0:40:38.520 --> 0:40:42.120 her face and me being so oblivious. Tracy was like 0:40:42.200 --> 0:40:44.200 actually planning on moving. She's like, oh, I need a 0:40:44.200 --> 0:40:46.360 new place and I found this beautiful place and I 0:40:46.400 --> 0:40:48.239 was like, oh, I can't wait. And she seems to 0:40:48.280 --> 0:40:51.520 be like that that's what she knew. It's time to 0:40:51.560 --> 0:40:54.520 break into siphany. Girl, you're not coming. And first of all, 0:40:54.560 --> 0:40:56.520 not only you not coming, you're gonna be gone before 0:40:56.520 --> 0:41:00.080 I start moving. And I was furious. I did I 0:41:00.080 --> 0:41:02.440 speak to her for like a few months. But honestly 0:41:03.000 --> 0:41:05.480 that was the push that I needed to like get 0:41:05.520 --> 0:41:07.479 on my own two feet, because honestly I was using 0:41:07.480 --> 0:41:10.560 her as a crutch. Yeah, you know, And so, like 0:41:10.560 --> 0:41:13.160 like I said, I was angry and I was massing 0:41:13.200 --> 0:41:15.239 at her and I had never like not spoken to 0:41:15.280 --> 0:41:18.040 her for an extended period of time. But like I said, 0:41:18.080 --> 0:41:19.960 it was the push that I needed because I didn't 0:41:20.040 --> 0:41:23.399 realize that I wasn't that I was using her as 0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:26.240 like the excuse to not move on and move forward. 0:41:26.600 --> 0:41:30.680 You know that I needed basically to be forced to see, no, Tiffany, 0:41:30.719 --> 0:41:33.360 you can do it, and you will do it. You know. 0:41:33.560 --> 0:41:36.640 That's that's really that reminds me when I was ask 0:41:36.719 --> 0:41:39.279 my parents divorce my uncle, my mom's brother. So again, 0:41:39.400 --> 0:41:42.239 siblings are the best, you know. Like he took us 0:41:42.239 --> 0:41:44.040 into his house and we were there for the summer 0:41:44.520 --> 0:41:46.759 after the divorce, and I remember my mom. I didn't 0:41:46.800 --> 0:41:50.000 understand why she was so adamant about getting out of 0:41:50.040 --> 0:41:51.800 my uncle's house, but like I was super I'm like, 0:41:51.880 --> 0:41:56.240 but he asked, cable, why are you bush got Cabley's 0:41:56.239 --> 0:41:57.879 got all the stacks I can eat. He loves mac 0:41:57.920 --> 0:42:00.000 and cheese excellent, gives me dollar bills all the time. 0:42:00.520 --> 0:42:05.399 What's wrong with us arrangements? But she was I could 0:42:05.400 --> 0:42:07.640 see and I understand now, like you really you don't 0:42:07.640 --> 0:42:10.440 want that crutch to keep you, to hold you back 0:42:10.440 --> 0:42:12.080 from change and maybe you need a little boost to 0:42:12.080 --> 0:42:14.760 get out of there. Hey, if the security, this extra 0:42:14.800 --> 0:42:16.680 security bill is what's going to make you want to, 0:42:16.840 --> 0:42:20.080 you know, move on officially with your new single life 0:42:20.120 --> 0:42:22.600 and and you know move on, then maybe that's a 0:42:22.600 --> 0:42:22.960 good thing. 0:42:23.760 --> 0:42:24.120 Exactly. 0:42:24.120 --> 0:42:26.400 May not see it now, I get not right now, 0:42:26.440 --> 0:42:26.799 you won't. 0:42:26.800 --> 0:42:28.640 You'll be pissed. But that's your sister and you're gonna 0:42:28.640 --> 0:42:30.680 love her and she's still gonna love you. So, Mandy, 0:42:30.760 --> 0:42:33.879 I have a quick question for you, which is gonna 0:42:33.880 --> 0:42:37.520 be kind of funny. But so someone hit me up Joanna. Hey, Joanna, 0:42:37.560 --> 0:42:42.000 if you listen, and she said, Hey, Tiffany, I love 0:42:42.040 --> 0:42:44.680 your podcast with you and Mandy. How do I start 0:42:44.680 --> 0:42:47.000 my own? Is there like a core resource that I 0:42:47.040 --> 0:42:49.880 can read or watch or And I was like, so, 0:42:50.000 --> 0:42:51.879 I'm terrible in that I just come here and I'm 0:42:51.880 --> 0:42:54.200 just Tiffany Manny does the heavy lifting. So let me 0:42:54.280 --> 0:42:58.360 ask mey, So is there something that she can like 0:42:58.440 --> 0:42:59.799 read or watch like just the. 0:42:59.840 --> 0:43:04.400 Re well www dot Google dot com. 0:43:05.280 --> 0:43:13.080 I google no. 0:43:13.000 --> 0:43:15.319 But honestly, I really was like, what do you need? 0:43:15.400 --> 0:43:17.560 I'll tell you just real quick that the two things 0:43:17.560 --> 0:43:20.480 that I used for the podcast, one I don't even 0:43:20.560 --> 0:43:23.960 use my fancy microphone anymore. Honestly, I think both Tiff 0:43:24.000 --> 0:43:27.319 and I just use basic headsets. We use Skype, and 0:43:27.360 --> 0:43:32.640 we use a special recording software called call Recorder. It 0:43:32.719 --> 0:43:35.200 is all you need to record your Skype calls. And 0:43:35.280 --> 0:43:37.200 when you're in person, if you have a co host, 0:43:37.239 --> 0:43:38.759 if you're by yourself, then you know, get it a 0:43:38.840 --> 0:43:41.640 nice get a nice little like fifty dollars microphone from 0:43:41.640 --> 0:43:45.400 the you know, Amazon or something. But it's it's not 0:43:45.440 --> 0:43:47.279 that hard. The hard part is keeping it up. The 0:43:47.320 --> 0:43:49.480 hard part is carving out time in your schedule to 0:43:49.560 --> 0:43:52.280 edit if you're going to be editing. I have friends 0:43:52.320 --> 0:43:57.520 who use uh actually editors from foreign countries like China. 0:43:57.800 --> 0:44:00.280 There's actually services and as soon as we started the pot, 0:44:00.280 --> 0:44:03.080 we started getting emails like from people who I'll edit 0:44:03.080 --> 0:44:06.480 your podcast for five dollars an episode, and and there's 0:44:06.520 --> 0:44:09.360 some nicer ones in the States who will charge you more, 0:44:09.840 --> 0:44:11.560 and you have to sort of factor that into how 0:44:11.640 --> 0:44:14.200 much you're willing to spend. I can go into a 0:44:14.200 --> 0:44:17.440 lot more detail, honestly, email us at Brown Ambition Podcast 0:44:17.440 --> 0:44:20.120 at gmail dot com and I can give you more tips. 0:44:20.280 --> 0:44:23.640 But I just taught myself googling and message boards and 0:44:23.680 --> 0:44:26.160 YouTube videos. There's a lot of good YouTube videos. I 0:44:26.200 --> 0:44:30.120 taught myself how to edit, how to post and all 0:44:30.120 --> 0:44:32.960 that kind of stuff, and uh, you know, it's a 0:44:33.000 --> 0:44:35.160 little rough around the edges, but we make it happen. 0:44:35.640 --> 0:44:37.520 No, it's dope. Okay, that's great because I was like, ooh, 0:44:37.680 --> 0:44:40.560 I felt I felt a shame to tell her, so 0:44:40.960 --> 0:44:46.200 I don't know. Oh, I also email I also her 0:44:46.239 --> 0:44:48.360 to email us Akau. 0:44:48.520 --> 0:44:54.000 Okay Brown Embition podcasts at gmail dot com dot com. 0:44:54.800 --> 0:44:58.200 So let's finish out with a nice strong win. So 0:44:58.239 --> 0:45:02.680 my win goes for my nige friend, my girl awesomely Lovey. 0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:04.400 If you don know who she is, you need to 0:45:04.719 --> 0:45:08.160 use the googles. Awesomely Lovey is just that she's awesome. 0:45:08.280 --> 0:45:12.240 Her name actually is Lovey. I'm ashamed to say I 0:45:12.280 --> 0:45:14.520 cannot pronounce her last name, even though it's not that long. 0:45:14.600 --> 0:45:19.000 I dj J girls. I know I'm a mess. It's 0:45:19.000 --> 0:45:21.239 not even that long. I'm just a mess because it's 0:45:21.280 --> 0:45:24.400 not in front of my face anyway, Lovey. What I 0:45:24.400 --> 0:45:27.919 love about her is that she has a blog called 0:45:28.000 --> 0:45:30.640 Awesibly Lovey, where she talks l u v v i E, 0:45:30.920 --> 0:45:34.520 where she talks about like like just current events, but 0:45:34.680 --> 0:45:39.480 she her wit is like she will have you gagging, huggy, 0:45:39.840 --> 0:45:42.640 Like she's just so hilarious. Yes, and she has a 0:45:42.680 --> 0:45:43.680 new book out right, like. 0:45:45.560 --> 0:45:46.239 I'm judging you. 0:45:47.320 --> 0:45:49.800 I'm judging you. And that's so I'm like, I know, right, meanwhile, 0:45:49.840 --> 0:45:52.759 my win. Anyway, she's just so dope. And I met 0:45:52.760 --> 0:45:55.239 her in person and Barbados. We were speaking at the 0:45:55.239 --> 0:45:56.920 same place and we just hit it off and I 0:45:56.960 --> 0:45:58.920 was like, my judge, youran sister were friends for life, 0:45:59.000 --> 0:46:01.400 and so we'll go back and forth than our Facebook inboxes. 0:46:01.400 --> 0:46:07.000 And she just interviewed Oprah and Oprah's like, awesome. Lovey 0:46:07.120 --> 0:46:09.120 just cut off her locks, so she's got like this short, 0:46:09.280 --> 0:46:12.960 really cute haircut and so rubbing like Oprah's like rubbing 0:46:13.000 --> 0:46:15.400 her head and it's like this awesome picture. And so 0:46:15.480 --> 0:46:16.840 I just want to like give her like a little 0:46:16.840 --> 0:46:20.080 wood because I just love seeing women, you know, brown 0:46:20.080 --> 0:46:22.719 ambition women just out here killing it. And she's just 0:46:22.880 --> 0:46:26.879 fun and dope and humble and just like Hull when 0:46:26.920 --> 0:46:29.160 I say hilarious, you will pet your pants some of 0:46:29.160 --> 0:46:32.719 the stuff she writes. I'm like, love is just yeah, 0:46:32.719 --> 0:46:36.000 She's just awesome. So that's my win. It's just keep winning, lovey. 0:46:36.320 --> 0:46:38.879 I see you with Oprah. Oprah knows your name now, girl, 0:46:39.160 --> 0:46:41.520 all you can do is whisper to her. You don't 0:46:41.520 --> 0:46:43.000 even have to use my last name. Just tell how 0:46:43.000 --> 0:46:43.440 I'm coming. 0:46:43.719 --> 0:46:45.520 If there's one person who could stick their hands in 0:46:45.560 --> 0:46:47.520 my hair unwarranted, it would be Oprah. 0:46:47.680 --> 0:46:49.959 Why I'd be like, Oprah, do you want to wockeycause? 0:46:49.960 --> 0:46:53.200 Why do you get some scissors? It is yours? 0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:57.440 I love her. Game of Thrones reviews awesome with love 0:46:57.640 --> 0:46:58.719 Is they're really funny? 0:46:58.920 --> 0:47:01.399 Oh really, I haven't isn't too late to get into 0:47:01.400 --> 0:47:02.080 the Game of Thrones? 0:47:02.400 --> 0:47:04.799 No, I'm actually jealous. Go back and there's only been 0:47:04.960 --> 0:47:09.399 six five seasons. Six seasons, okay, like ten episodes each. 0:47:10.080 --> 0:47:10.960 Is it really graphic? 0:47:11.120 --> 0:47:13.839 Like you know, oh my god, last night's episode it 0:47:13.960 --> 0:47:16.520 was so gruesome and bloody. 0:47:17.320 --> 0:47:17.480 Yeah. 0:47:17.480 --> 0:47:19.000 I would say if you can't handle a lot of 0:47:19.040 --> 0:47:22.680 violence and grat and death and sex and murder and 0:47:22.920 --> 0:47:25.960 throats being slit and guts being gutted, then oh yeah, 0:47:26.360 --> 0:47:30.560 maybe watch something else. 0:47:30.920 --> 0:47:33.160 Okay, like the sex for Out of Mind. But I'm 0:47:33.200 --> 0:47:35.320 like the guts and glory and all that kind of stuff. 0:47:35.560 --> 0:47:37.080 That's why I never really got into it, and I 0:47:37.120 --> 0:47:38.840 was just like, I don't know if I want. 0:47:38.640 --> 0:47:44.280 To see it is like any Like, yeah, it's a gore. 0:47:44.440 --> 0:47:46.479 If you're into gore, it is like your wet dream 0:47:46.520 --> 0:47:48.920 of a show. It is so it is nasty sometimes, 0:47:48.960 --> 0:47:50.640 but I'm into it for the characters, you know, and 0:47:50.680 --> 0:47:58.359 the nuance. Yeah it's good though, but no, Meanwhile, I'm 0:47:58.400 --> 0:48:00.600 watching The Good Wife and it's taken up my life. 0:48:00.600 --> 0:48:03.400 You know how many episodes. There's like twenty four episodes 0:48:03.400 --> 0:48:05.480 per season, and there's seven seasons. You do the math. 0:48:05.640 --> 0:48:07.320 I'm not going to have a life until I finish 0:48:07.360 --> 0:48:09.760 the show. Anyway. 0:48:10.160 --> 0:48:11.560 Let me tell you one last thing. When I watched 0:48:11.640 --> 0:48:14.399 last night Working Girl. Do you remember that movie Working Girl? 0:48:14.440 --> 0:48:15.760 Are you too young? Waite? 0:48:16.160 --> 0:48:17.120 Is that like Tutsie? 0:48:17.480 --> 0:48:20.120 No? Oh my gosh, it's with Melanie Griffin. It's a 0:48:20.160 --> 0:48:20.799 Girni week. 0:48:21.320 --> 0:48:21.680 Yeah. 0:48:21.800 --> 0:48:24.000 It was so good. It was our logo last night. 0:48:24.040 --> 0:48:27.359 I was like, oh, my goodness, I love that movie. 0:48:27.440 --> 0:48:29.160 I don't know, I'm pretty sure it was inappropriate for 0:48:29.200 --> 0:48:30.919 me to watch it when I was when it came out, 0:48:31.280 --> 0:48:34.200 but I love that movie and it was so good. 0:48:34.239 --> 0:48:36.279 I watched it and I made Superman watch it, and 0:48:36.320 --> 0:48:37.839 at first he was like what is this? And then 0:48:37.880 --> 0:48:42.279 he was all into it, like get her. So I 0:48:42.320 --> 0:48:43.920 just want to tell you that that, like ooh, I 0:48:43.960 --> 0:48:46.440 would love if if you guys tweet us or inbox us. 0:48:46.440 --> 0:48:48.480 You're kind of like old school movies that are like 0:48:49.040 --> 0:48:51.080 the movies that you loved as a kid, or like 0:48:51.160 --> 0:48:55.000 as a teen or twenty ish and just share them 0:48:55.000 --> 0:48:56.239 with us. Because I love a good I love a 0:48:56.239 --> 0:48:57.080 good movie. 0:48:57.320 --> 0:49:00.359 I found myself quoting look who's talking this week with 0:49:00.400 --> 0:49:05.200 my family, but like John Travolta and pretty crazy crisy Ally, 0:49:06.880 --> 0:49:14.680 what a horribly awesome just like bad Franchise. I love that. Oh, 0:49:14.760 --> 0:49:16.400 this is a shared one for us today. I just 0:49:16.400 --> 0:49:18.399 wanted to Sometimes we get we get a lot of questions, 0:49:18.440 --> 0:49:21.040 but we also sometimes get some really nice letters from 0:49:21.440 --> 0:49:23.400 our listeners. So I wanted to share this one today. 0:49:23.480 --> 0:49:26.520 It's super long, and I'm I love you girl for 0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:28.160 writing this letter, but I can't read the whole thing. 0:49:29.040 --> 0:49:32.360 How do I pronounce her name? SINETI It starts with 0:49:32.360 --> 0:49:36.279 a C. Sineth writes a very long email and I'm 0:49:36.320 --> 0:49:39.040 just going to pick it up somewhere about the half 0:49:39.320 --> 0:49:43.239 way Mark. She says, there's so much shame and icky 0:49:43.280 --> 0:49:45.520 emotion around money. I've not been able to figure out 0:49:45.600 --> 0:49:47.920 how to start in conversation that feels safe enough for 0:49:47.960 --> 0:49:50.640 people around me to join in. So I decided to 0:49:50.719 --> 0:49:54.160 find virtual friends, and here you are. I used to 0:49:54.160 --> 0:49:56.799 think that I needed to make more, but I now 0:49:56.920 --> 0:49:59.440 know that my spending was my problem, which is why 0:49:59.520 --> 0:50:01.560 making more never really seemed to help or change my 0:50:01.600 --> 0:50:07.040 situation situation. Since finding your podcast, Brown Ambition, I've gotten 0:50:07.080 --> 0:50:10.520 honest with my spending, created a budget she used. I 0:50:10.600 --> 0:50:12.920 used to just wing it. I returned all the items 0:50:12.920 --> 0:50:16.040 that still had tags in my closet and consigned consigned 0:50:16.080 --> 0:50:18.200 the rest I didn't have anywhere to wear them to. 0:50:18.719 --> 0:50:23.520 I've paid off nine thousand dollars in debt credit in 0:50:23.520 --> 0:50:25.759 that sense. We've been on the air since September, so 0:50:25.880 --> 0:50:30.600 that's that's a lot of progress for less than a year. Yeah, 0:50:30.680 --> 0:50:32.400 she says, my credit score is up one hundred and 0:50:32.480 --> 0:50:35.440 twenty points. I've increased my four oh one K contribution 0:50:35.520 --> 0:50:38.680 by two percent, and I opened an investment account with 0:50:38.800 --> 0:50:40.759 just twenty dollars a month to get started because I 0:50:40.760 --> 0:50:42.719 thought I had to wait until I saved a lot 0:50:42.719 --> 0:50:44.640 of money to have someone tell me how to invest, 0:50:45.080 --> 0:50:48.319 and now she knows that's not true. So this just 0:50:48.360 --> 0:50:50.320 made me all feel warm and fuzzy. 0:50:50.080 --> 0:50:53.600 And yeah, I want to give you virtual hunt. We're 0:50:53.640 --> 0:50:54.399 so proud of you. 0:50:54.760 --> 0:50:57.080 I'm gonna send We're gonna send you an email back 0:50:57.200 --> 0:50:59.239 because this. And she even goes and she gives us 0:50:59.239 --> 0:51:00.960 her entire budget. You know when people like get really 0:51:01.000 --> 0:51:04.359 excited about their savings, yes, and you feel they're like, 0:51:04.680 --> 0:51:06.160 just like, I love this. 0:51:08.360 --> 0:51:10.520 I'm not gonna lie. Is it weird that like I 0:51:10.560 --> 0:51:12.680 love Saturday mornings when I get up in budget, like 0:51:12.719 --> 0:51:15.120 I will, like I get super excited when I'm shifting 0:51:15.120 --> 0:51:17.520 money around making transfers. I'm like, oh my god. 0:51:19.800 --> 0:51:21.799 I'm the same way. Payday is the best day because 0:51:21.800 --> 0:51:23.880 that's when that's when I save and pay my bills. 0:51:24.120 --> 0:51:25.640 It's not how much would I get paid today, It's 0:51:25.640 --> 0:51:26.800 how much did I save today? 0:51:27.080 --> 0:51:29.000 Yes, I love shifting. I'm like a little here and 0:51:29.040 --> 0:51:31.920 a little here, and look at this travel account growing. 0:51:33.680 --> 0:51:35.880 Like a bad scientist exactly. 0:51:36.000 --> 0:51:38.759 So yes, we love it. If you have other like 0:51:39.560 --> 0:51:41.400 news like that, you can certainly tweet us at the 0:51:41.480 --> 0:51:45.520 BA podcast, Facebook, us at broad Ambition and email us. 0:51:45.440 --> 0:51:48.560 At Brown Ambition podcast. Oh are you gonna do it? 0:51:49.160 --> 0:51:50.320 I was trying to get trying to see if I 0:51:50.360 --> 0:51:54.600 can do an Ambition podcasts at gmail dot. 0:51:54.400 --> 0:52:01.280 Com, Episode forty two. Folks, we're getting too. 0:52:04.640 --> 0:52:07.200 No, that's awesome. That's a great note for and nodes. 0:52:07.320 --> 0:52:10.920 Ma'am. All right, well we will see quote unquote see 0:52:10.920 --> 0:52:14.000 you guys next week. We will you stay safe out there. 0:52:14.080 --> 0:52:16.160 Wear your seatbelt, yes, please do. 0:52:16.560 --> 0:52:18.560 If that's the phone when you're driving, No texting, yes 0:52:18.719 --> 0:52:19.080 please