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Speaker 1: Oh, hello, good afternoon. Good buenos tardes, I mean buenos

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what I mean. I'm so sick

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Speaker 1: of my bell correcting me in my fucking Spanish. I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: she corrects everything I say, but she's not correcting me

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Speaker 1: to speak proper Spanish. She speaks slang Spanish admittingly. She

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Speaker 1: says to me, well, this is how we speak in Mexico.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, great, but I'm trying to learn Spanish

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Speaker 1: for Spain and true. And I also don't want to

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Speaker 1: point out that I don't ever correct her fucking English.

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Speaker 1: Never I'd ever say oh, no, that words, those words

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Speaker 1: go in the opposite direction or anything. But she is

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Speaker 1: riding me like a wave wants to be broke out

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Speaker 1: off my jock. I'm like, do you want me to

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Speaker 1: learn Spanish? Or don't you if you keep putting up

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Speaker 1: these barriers? Uh? And she just loves it, though, But

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Speaker 1: I gotta give it to her, like I know that

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Speaker 1: that must be satisfying for her to be able to

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Speaker 1: correct me all the time. And you asked her to

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Speaker 1: to Well, yeah, I said I wanted to speak Spanish.

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Speaker 1: You could let me slide a little bit with my grammar.

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Speaker 1: But you know what I love. I'm such a grammarian.

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Speaker 1: I care so much about grammar that I really want.

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Speaker 1: I want to speak proper Spanish anyway, It's just it's

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Speaker 1: too much of a beginner's Spanish to be there yet. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what have I learned this week? I learned about Cuba

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Speaker 1: and sugar. Well, you know, after this, I learned all

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Speaker 1: about Spain. Oh, I have to promote a show April twenty.

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Speaker 1: It's Spokane. That's the second show we added in Spokane.

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Speaker 1: It's not quite sold out, so please buy your tickets,

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Speaker 1: you motherfucker's. And what other shows do I need to promote? Well,

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Speaker 1: they're all really almost sold out. Red Rocks Amphitheater. That

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Speaker 1: one's not sold out yet. Red Rocks Amphitheater. That's a

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Speaker 1: big one. That's like people. So yeah, go to Chelsea

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Speaker 1: Headler dot com. There are some tickets for some other shows.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, and I'm going to add a whole bunch

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Speaker 1: of new dates I think sometime this month. Yeah, fantastic.

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Speaker 1: It's so hard to figure out where I am. I

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Speaker 1: thought I was in Cuba, so I learned all about

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Speaker 1: the Spanish conquering Cuba, and then the English conquering Cuba,

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Speaker 1: and then they had a treaty and they gave Cuba

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Speaker 1: back to Spain, and then they kept Florida, and then

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Speaker 1: they kept the Lower Mississippi some areas around there, and

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Speaker 1: then they discovered sugar during the Atlantic slave trade, which

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Speaker 1: was started by the English. I'd like to say that

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Speaker 1: make sure we mentioned so that people fucking understand history,

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Speaker 1: because I am so confused about so many things. I

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Speaker 1: was like, where didn't we all come from Egypt to

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Speaker 1: my brother one day He's like, no, you asshole, And

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Speaker 1: so now I'm reading a book. Then we all came

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Speaker 1: from Africa. Everybody came from Africa. Ye, So anyway, the sugar. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so Cuba was the center of sugar for a long time.

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Speaker 1: Slaves were responsible for all of the prosperity of the

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Speaker 1: United States, beginning the United States and basically taking all

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Speaker 1: of the sugarcane, hacking it, cutting it, transferring it, blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah. And so that's when the Atlantic slave trade peaked,

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Speaker 1: was during the sugar I want to say rush, but

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's called the rush. I like calling

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Speaker 1: it a sugar rush. Yeah, sugar rush, that's a different

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Speaker 1: that's a different. That's something too, So yeah, there's that.

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Speaker 1: And then I'm learning about Neanderthals and Denisovans and Anatolia

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Speaker 1: and Homo erectus and how we all kind of changed

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Speaker 1: and when we split off, like right before Homo erectus

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Speaker 1: we split off, we diverged. One became chimpanzees and the

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Speaker 1: other became modern humans. Oh my god, short history of

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Speaker 1: humanity is called. I need to read what you're reading,

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Speaker 1: because like, as a kid who grew up going to

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Speaker 1: Christian school, where we had let's say, a warped and

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Speaker 1: abbreviated version of science, I didn't even know that like

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Speaker 1: Pangaea existed until I was in college. I remember saying

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Speaker 1: to a teacher once, why does it look like the two,

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Speaker 1: you know, halves of the earth would fit together? And

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Speaker 1: they're like, that's just a funny thing. God dead Like

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Speaker 1: that kind of stuff was what I grew up. I

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Speaker 1: also believed that we were everything was connected, even the islands,

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Speaker 1: and not all the islands like Sardinia Corsica were never

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Speaker 1: part of the mainland. They were just like they were volcanic. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: so they have their own thing going. So that's interesting too,

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Speaker 1: that that would naturally happen that there would be islands

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Speaker 1: sprinkled everywhere, you know, I mean, I guess I got

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Speaker 1: such bad science education. I didn't even remember the word

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Speaker 1: for continents, you know, the halves of the world. It's

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Speaker 1: just wild. Yeah, it is wild. And I know you

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Speaker 1: know you read something and you'd retain I'd be interested

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Speaker 1: in my level of retainment. I want to take tests

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Speaker 1: after every book I read to see how much I

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Speaker 1: took in. I think we're trying to send you back

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Speaker 1: to college. I wouldn't go back to send some sort

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Speaker 1: of curriculum quite frankly, Okay, what do we got. What's

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Speaker 1: happening to? Well, Chelsea, I have my ski buddy on today,

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Speaker 1: but I won't tell you that is until she's on.

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Speaker 1: That's very exciting. So, Chelsea, I had an email come

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Speaker 1: in about Dana, who had called in her stepson was

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Speaker 1: being sort of vaguely creepy and yes, yes, and she

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Speaker 1: mentioned like he was maybe being a little too touchy

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Speaker 1: feely with her son. And I just thought this email

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Speaker 1: was so important that I wanted to share it with you.

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Speaker 1: Heather says, Hello, Chelsea and Catherine. I wanted to say

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Speaker 1: thank you for providing the audience with the mother that

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Speaker 1: called in about her steps on she feels uncomfortable around.

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Speaker 1: While I had no doubt this would be a response,

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Speaker 1: I truly appreciate you not minimizing the seriousness of needing

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Speaker 1: to take action to protect her younger son, self and family.

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Speaker 1: I'm also in awe of the mother's strength to reach

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Speaker 1: out for advice, because that is so tricky. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's like it's the sort of nebulous thing. My personal

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Speaker 1: story includes eight plus years of a very close family

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Speaker 1: friend grooming me as a child with uncomfortable touching, inappropriate

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Speaker 1: sexual conversations for an adult to have with a child,

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Speaker 1: shower peeping, accidental quote unquote porn exposure, and more. While

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Speaker 1: rape never occurred, it has left years worth of trauma

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Speaker 1: response that I'm working through with a great therapist. However,

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Speaker 1: at the time it was brushed off by others as

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Speaker 1: creepy old man vibes or that shoulder or waiste touching

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Speaker 1: wasn't considered a sexual touch even if I didn't want it.

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Speaker 1: I think I was meant to hear this podcast today

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Speaker 1: as my therapy session this week was focused on my

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Speaker 1: continued struggle with not freezing in a moment when someone

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Speaker 1: touches me in a suggestive but not legally sexual way.

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Speaker 1: The mother listening to her intuition and taking charge to

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Speaker 1: keep her young sons safe could have a huge impact

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Speaker 1: on her son's future. It's something I wish would have

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Speaker 1: happened for myself. Her older stepson clearly also needs support,

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Speaker 1: and I'm thankful you communicated to prioritize safety of family

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Speaker 1: while acknowledging his need for help too. It's these conversations

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Speaker 1: and stories that I hope will help others think differently

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Speaker 1: on the impact these quote unquote micro traumas can have

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Speaker 1: over time. Thanks so much for your awesomeness ensuring both

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Speaker 1: the funny and needed stories of our lives. Heather. I

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Speaker 1: like how she said micro trauma because I learned about

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Speaker 1: complex trauma from a friend of mine over the weekend

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Speaker 1: who I hung out with, and he was telling me

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Speaker 1: about complex trauma is trauma overtime, right, like neglect or

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Speaker 1: alcoholism or drug addiction, something like that that you're that

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Speaker 1: you lay witness to. If you have a sibling that

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Speaker 1: has a terrible schizophrenia, that would be complex trauma, which

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Speaker 1: is different than event trauma and PTSD is related to

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Speaker 1: event trauma. But I want to underline the intuition part

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Speaker 1: because more and more people are talking about intuition and

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Speaker 1: understanding that it is a very concrete, if not measurable thing.

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Speaker 1: And for every woman and man that is listening to

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Speaker 1: all our gays, you all have it. We all have intuition.

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Speaker 1: We all have a feeling in our stomach and our gut.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it's in your heart, or it feels like in

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Speaker 1: your heart, but it is really in your gut when

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Speaker 1: you meet someone, and it's the exact opposite of the

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Speaker 1: feeling you get when you know something's wrong, when somebody

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Speaker 1: comes into your space a person and you know they're

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Speaker 1: dangerous right away you see that they're sketchy, or that

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Speaker 1: they're unhinged, or that they're unpredictable. That feeling right there,

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Speaker 1: you could also have in the opposite way about something

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Speaker 1: you should do, or somebody you should move towards, or

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Speaker 1: a thing that is right, And if you really listen

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Speaker 1: to yourself, you are going to know what that is.

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Speaker 1: And we don't talk about intuition in the way that

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Speaker 1: we need to, because young girls need to trust their intuition,

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Speaker 1: They need to trust the way that their body feels

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Speaker 1: because your body will tell your brain what is happening,

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Speaker 1: and it is. It's such a concrete thing. It's like

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Speaker 1: you when you're in a certain situation or you're around

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Speaker 1: someone who makes you uncomfortable, it turns into a physical reaction.

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Speaker 1: Your stomach gets in a knot, your hair goes up

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Speaker 1: on the back of your neck. Like trust your changes.

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Speaker 1: The way are holding yourself and carrying yourself changes, like

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Speaker 1: the body is communicating with you. Yeah. You know, sometimes

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Speaker 1: I fold my arms when I'm in a conversation, and

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Speaker 1: I realize how offputting that is. Like that's the definition

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Speaker 1: of being defensive, is having your arms folded, even if

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Speaker 1: that's a comfortable position for you. That's how it's kind

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Speaker 1: of received most of the time. And that's because my

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Speaker 1: body's doing it. My body is saying, oh, I'm uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: in this conversation, and you have to listen to those signals.

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Speaker 1: Or you know, sometimes it's just ego, like oh, there's

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Speaker 1: saying something that I don't like or I don't agree

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Speaker 1: with it or whatever. But yeah, I think that's a

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Speaker 1: great conversation for any parents listening to have with your

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Speaker 1: young children. Yeah, following your gut It is so important,

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Speaker 1: especially with situations like the ones we're just talking about

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Speaker 1: right where it's not illegal, it's not illicit, but it

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Speaker 1: is something that is having an effect and an impact

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Speaker 1: on that child or that adult. You know, this can

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Speaker 1: happen in adult situations as well. One really helpful listener, Tatiana,

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Speaker 1: wrote in saying some of the early warning signs of

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Speaker 1: psychosis are a worrisome drop in grades or job performance,

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Speaker 1: trouble thinking clearly, suspiciousness or uneasiness with others, a decline

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Speaker 1: in self care or personal hygiene, spending a lot more

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Speaker 1: time alone than usual, and strong inappropriate emotions or having

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Speaker 1: no feelings at all. And I think that's a really

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Speaker 1: important thing to point out as well, because that age

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Speaker 1: they said, like twenty seven right around there, that's kind

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Speaker 1: of when some mental illnesses will present themselves to people.

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Speaker 1: So thanks to everyone who wrote in about that. So

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Speaker 1: I thought this was so important to highlight and really

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Speaker 1: paying attention to those little things. And if someone says

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Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable, like listening to them and seeing what needs

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Speaker 1: to what steps need to be taken. So okay, so

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Speaker 1: who's our first guest? Okay, our first guest. It's our

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Speaker 1: only guest. I forgot that I'm not on a TV

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Speaker 1: show right now. Our guest today is a friend of mine,

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Speaker 1: a good friend of mine, and she's an Olympic gold

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Speaker 1: medalist and she's a skier. But before I introduced her,

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Speaker 1: I really want to mention her philanthropy. She has a

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Speaker 1: foundation called a Lindsay Vaughan Foundation, which empowers underserved girls

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Speaker 1: with camps, scholarships and more. So please make sure you

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Speaker 1: are aware of that and check it out. She wrote

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Speaker 1: a great book which everyone should read. It's called Rise. Okay,

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Speaker 1: please welcome Lindsay von h Then she is Miss America.

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Speaker 1: I was hoping that I was going to interrupt you

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Speaker 1: your ski day today. Where are you in Orlando? Oh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I have a dilemma. Actually, I'm glad you

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Speaker 1: brought up Florida because for my new tour, I was

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Speaker 1: just on the phone with my agents this morning and

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Speaker 1: they were going over routing for the fall dates that

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Speaker 1: were going to announce later, and Florida was on the list.

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Speaker 1: And I said, guys, I don't know about Florida anymore.

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Speaker 1: And they're like, well, do you really want to punish

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Speaker 1: the people in Florida like you have people you every

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Speaker 1: time you go, you go to like six stops of Florida.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't. I don't want to punish

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Speaker 1: the people of Florida. They're being punished enough. But I

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Speaker 1: feel like as a statement, I just have to say

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Speaker 1: fuck off. Like when is enough enough? Like all of

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Speaker 1: this legislation, Like I feel like DeSantis needs to know.

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Speaker 1: Certain people aren't going to come. I'm sure they don't

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Speaker 1: care about me. But if more people do it, But

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Speaker 1: then there's the argument that you're affecting revenue, you're affecting

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Speaker 1: people's jobs, you're affecting people's lifestyle. So I don't really

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Speaker 1: know what the right answer is. If anybody listening has

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Speaker 1: feelings on this, please DM me. Actually DM lindsay she'll

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Speaker 1: she'll go through them first and then she'll read that

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Speaker 1: to me. What are you doing in Orlando? I'm speaking,

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Speaker 1: you know, apparently some people want my advice for some reason.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I believe it. You're a champion. We

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Speaker 1: were just watching your night race at I'll say the streef,

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Speaker 1: the streef in clothes, okay, kids by Kispuel fuel, Yes,

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Speaker 1: Kidspuel the strife. Yes, good job guys. Yeah, and this

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Speaker 1: video is of you skiing the world's hardest ski run.

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Speaker 1: You were not only the first woman to do it,

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Speaker 1: but you also did it in the dark, just to

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Speaker 1: make it more insane. This video is crazy. I'll put

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Speaker 1: a link to it in the show notes. It's a

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Speaker 1: hard one. Honestly, I've not run into one American that

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Speaker 1: has gotten it right so far. But it's okay. The

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Speaker 1: effort was there. I appreciate you well. It's also a

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Speaker 1: hard line to ski. It's not even a line. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know what the fuck you would call what

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Speaker 1: you do, but it is so hardcore. It's so bad us.

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Speaker 1: I mean all my ski buddies from Whistler who are

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Speaker 1: real ski you know, like they know how to ski

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Speaker 1: and they are just like you. When that video came out,

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Speaker 1: we must have watched it like fifteen times. If you

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Speaker 1: haven't seen it, she did it with Red Bull. You

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Speaker 1: can watch it on Lindsay's Instagram, which you should be

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Speaker 1: following her anyway, because you put out great content. I

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Speaker 1: saw you powder skiing the other day and I wanted

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Speaker 1: to ask you, how do you because if you spent

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Speaker 1: your life training you know, downhill and slom and all

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Speaker 1: the stuff that you do, do you spend a lot

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Speaker 1: of time in powder before you retire. Oh no, I

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Speaker 1: never powder skied because I was so worried that I

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Speaker 1: would hurt myself. And some of the other athletes would

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Speaker 1: go powder skiing, like if our race was canceled because

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Speaker 1: of so much No, you know, definitely I would say

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Speaker 1: some of the girls would go, like people that are

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Speaker 1: from California that grew up skiing powder, But I didn't

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Speaker 1: grow up skiing powder. I'm from Minnesota. There's not one

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Speaker 1: powder day in the entire season. It's mostly man man

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Speaker 1: and just cool as hell. So I just I love skiing,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's powder is a lot easier on

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Speaker 1: my knees. And while it's not something that you know,

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Speaker 1: I've grown up with, I just I love it and

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Speaker 1: it's fun and it's the most exciting thing that I

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Speaker 1: can do outside of racing. Yeah, powder skiing is really

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Speaker 1: fucking fun. And you know what's so fun about it,

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Speaker 1: or so funny about it is that when you learn

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Speaker 1: how to ski technically, as Lindsay can speak to way

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Speaker 1: more than I can. But from what little I've gleaned,

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Speaker 1: everything you learn about regular skiing goes out the window.

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Speaker 1: When you ski powder, you know, you're not at an

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Speaker 1: air goal, you're not turning, you're bouncing like a bunny

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Speaker 1: rabbit through the snow and just like hopping. Like yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like leaning back. It's the exact opposite that any

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Speaker 1: instructor would ever teach you. It's all just leaned back

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Speaker 1: and ride the wave. It's like surfing. It's pretty funny

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Speaker 1: because to your point, is the exact opposite of what

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Speaker 1: you've been told, what you've been taught, and just throw

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Speaker 1: it all out the window. Yeah. Yeah, Well you've been

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Speaker 1: through a lot and you've been injured a lot, and

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Speaker 1: I want to talk a little bit. I know you.

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Speaker 1: Lindsey wrote a great book about her whole life, her autobiography,

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Speaker 1: and in it you talk a lot about your recoveries

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Speaker 1: from from many different accidents, and I want to know

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Speaker 1: obviously you're mentally tough. You couldn't survive all of this

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Speaker 1: and continue to go back out there, especially what you

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Speaker 1: just skied in Kitspuel, Like why why would you do that?

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Speaker 1: And you said, I mean I think you said you

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Speaker 1: had like your surgery ready to go in case you

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Speaker 1: did wipe out and hurt yourself. Is that true? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I'm getting my knee replaced, so I figured

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Speaker 1: this was a perfect time to do it, because if

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Speaker 1: I crash and I need surgery, I'm getting it anyways,

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Speaker 1: so I don't mind risking it. But I've had my

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Speaker 1: fair share of surgeries. I mean, you've purt your knee,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know the deal. But I don't think

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Speaker 1: it's ever impacted my passion for ski racing or first

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Speaker 1: skiing in general. I just love the mountain. I just

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Speaker 1: wish it had been a little bit easier on my body.

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Speaker 1: But I don't have any regrets. You know, despite the

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Speaker 1: fact that I limp around most of the time, I

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Speaker 1: still wouldn't change anything. Well, let's talk about the mindset

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Speaker 1: that allows you to do that, because you work out

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Speaker 1: really hard, so I know your body's been beaten up,

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Speaker 1: but you still have a significant amount of strength left

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Speaker 1: and determination in order to keep all of that going,

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Speaker 1: which I think is really vital for I think all women,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, with like our physicality. It's

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Speaker 1: like you get an injury and you can be so

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Speaker 1: down on yourself. First of all, it's depressing and you're immobile,

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Speaker 1: and then you're taking pills and you're you know, you're

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Speaker 1: trying to recuperate and all of that is like a

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Speaker 1: real negative downer on you. So to be able to

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Speaker 1: pick yourself back up that from that, not once but

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Speaker 1: repeatedly is very admirable. And to keep going. You know,

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who get into an

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Speaker 1: accident and they don't want to ever do that thing again.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, oh, I want to do that thing

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Speaker 1: right away again because I don't want to be scared

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Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, exactly. I mean I think to your point,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people can get down and I got

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Speaker 1: very down. I mean I got really depressed when I

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Speaker 1: was injured. I missed the Olympics. I was injured back

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Speaker 1: to back acls, which took me out for almost two

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Speaker 1: years in a row. And it's really hard to find

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Speaker 1: anything positive, you know, when you especially when you repeatedly

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Speaker 1: get injured, like what am I doing? You know? Why

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Speaker 1: am I doing this? And it's hard to find the motivation.

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Speaker 1: But I think for me, it always goes back to passion,

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Speaker 1: you know why. I love ski racing and I've always

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Speaker 1: have and that's why I kept doing it and kept

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Speaker 1: coming back. But it doesn't make their recovery any easier.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's always with three habits, always two steps forward,

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Speaker 1: one step back, and sometimes one step forward two steps back.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's a very monotonous, long, slow grind, and

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Speaker 1: I just have learned through repetition that you just have

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Speaker 1: to stick to it and keep keep going, you know,

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Speaker 1: keep putting one foot in the front in front of

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Speaker 1: the other, and that's the only thing you can do, honestly.

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Speaker 1: And your transition since you retired has been You're still

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Speaker 1: really involved with the US ski team. You're still really

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Speaker 1: involved in skiing. You're skiing with people all the time

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Speaker 1: in Utah, Veil or you know, all over the place,

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Speaker 1: I guess, And so tell me it talked to me

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Speaker 1: a little bit about that transition for you, because I know,

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Speaker 1: as an athlete or I don't know, I can imagine

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Speaker 1: how difficult it must be to say goodbye to that

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Speaker 1: part of your life. But in a way you've kind

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Speaker 1: of extended it in a way that we haven't seen

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Speaker 1: many people do publicly. Yeah, I mean, I definitely felt

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Speaker 1: like when I retired, a part of me died. You know.

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Speaker 1: It was something where I knew I could never go

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Speaker 1: back and I've been doing it my entire life. I've

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Speaker 1: been skiing since I was two and a half years old.

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Speaker 1: And after I retired, I woke up and what I

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Speaker 1: love to do every day was suddenly gone, and I

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Speaker 1: had to really figure out, Okay, what is it about

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Speaker 1: ski racing that I loved? I love being on the mountain.

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Speaker 1: So it took me about a year and a half,

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Speaker 1: but I got back out there and I relearned my

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Speaker 1: passion for the sport as a whole, and I enjoyed

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Speaker 1: skiing with my family, with my friends. I've gone to

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Speaker 1: places now that I've been many times before, but I've

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Speaker 1: never actually skied. I've been to Korshevelle. I've raced there many, many,

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Speaker 1: many times, but I've never been anywhere other than the

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Speaker 1: race trail. So I got to go back and explore

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Speaker 1: the mountain and you know, find my passion again. And

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Speaker 1: I think, you know, for me, I don't like sitting

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Speaker 1: still downhill. I always had adrenaline and that was really

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Speaker 1: hard to replace. But I've found ways to challenge myself

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Speaker 1: and you know, push myself now in business and just

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Speaker 1: keep again, like waking up every day with a new challenge.

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Speaker 1: And that's been exciting. It's you know, I feel like

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Speaker 1: there's so many opportunities and I'm excited for the future,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, yeah, I know. I like watching what

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Speaker 1: you've been doing in the last couple of years. And

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Speaker 1: we've known each other for a long time actually, and

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Speaker 1: it feels like you have really found your groove and

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Speaker 1: like all of these opportunities, your philanthropy, your foundation, and

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Speaker 1: all of the business oportunities that you have cultivated for

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Speaker 1: yourself is a great model I think for a lot

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Speaker 1: of younger athletes who are probably looking going, oh, she

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Speaker 1: made this like so seamless, you know, well, it definitely

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Speaker 1: wasn't seamless. I mean, I can't tell you how hard

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Speaker 1: it was. You know, as a ski racer, we don't

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Speaker 1: we don't make money. There's no money in ski racing.

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Speaker 1: So I had to really work hard to make a

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Speaker 1: business for myself. And my dad always made me aware

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Speaker 1: when I was younger that if I wanted to be successful,

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Speaker 1: I had to be more than an athlete, and so

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Speaker 1: I always took at that approach. I always want the

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Speaker 1: extra mile. I always did all the interviews, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was really careful with my sponsorships, what partnerships. I

401
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 1: chose always thinking long term, and I was actually made

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Speaker 1: fun of. You know, a lot of people were like,

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Speaker 1: why are you spending so much time with this, You know,

404
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 1: you're distracted from your racing, And I said, no, I

405
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: can do both. I can win races, I can have

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Speaker 1: my own business. I can be successful on multiple levels

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Speaker 1: at the same time. And I think, you know, just

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Speaker 1: believing in myself and not listening to anyone else was

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Speaker 1: was the best thing that I could do, because I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be anywhere if I'd listened to every single person

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Speaker 1: that said I wouldn't do anything, or couldn't be anything,

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Speaker 1: or you know, couldn't multitask. Women are great multitaskers. I

413
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Speaker 1: think I know the fucking tell me about it. I mean, honestly, like,

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Speaker 1: women are so much better. When I was at the

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Speaker 1: doctors this morning, and I would ask him one question

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Speaker 1: and then he just stopped everything he was doing to

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Speaker 1: answer the question. And I looked at him and I

418
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Speaker 1: wanted to say, keep keep keep going, like don't we

419
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Speaker 1: don't have to do separate things, like you can work

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Speaker 1: and talk, can't you at the same time, do like

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Speaker 1: get in together? I mean, women are just like you know,

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Speaker 1: you're eating a hard boiled egg, feeding your dog, getting

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Speaker 1: on a plane. Like, we're doing a million things at once,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's so crazy to me that they cannot

425
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 1: talk and think at the same time. They can't even

426
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 1: fathom what we do. It's pretty fine. Oh No, I

427
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 1: know your mom was a big influence on you. I

428
00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 1: know you posted something today about her and her determination

429
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,120
Speaker 1: and how she inspired you and showed you what determination

430
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 1: looked like. So talk to me a little bit about that.

431
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I think my mom impacted me in more

432
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,959
Speaker 1: ways than I even really truly understand now, and I

433
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: think now that she's passed away, it's been a few months,

434
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 1: and you know, I still always reflect on what she

435
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 1: showed me. My mom had a stroke when she gave

436
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 1: birth to me, and she wasn't able to do physically

437
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 1: the things with me that I would have loved to

438
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 1: do with her, like ski She couldn't ride a bike.

439
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 1: The only thing she really could do what she loved

440
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: was swimming, which I'm ironically horrible at I think like

441
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: a rock. But you know, my mom always tried and

442
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 1: she failed, but she always tried. She would try to

443
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 1: ride a bike and I would watch her fall over

444
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: and over and over again, but she always got back up,

445
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 1: and she always tried, and she always had a smile,

446
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 1: and she always was positive. And even when you know,

447
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 1: she was in her hospital bed and she couldn't move

448
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 1: her arms or legs, she was positive and she said,

449
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 1: you know, today is another great day. And it got

450
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,959
Speaker 1: harder and harder, but she never lost that perspective. And

451
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 1: I felt like when I was injured, I was lucky

452
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 1: to have the opportunity to try again. You know, my

453
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 1: mom didn't have that opportunity because of her stroke. So

454
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 1: I think throughout my career it's always given me a

455
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 1: different sense of gratefulness that I think, you know, sometimes

456
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: we lose sight of. I'm lucky to follow my passion

457
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: every single day. I'm lucky that I'm walking, and I'm

458
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: you know, while I hate running, I could run if

459
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,479
Speaker 1: I wanted to. It could always be worse, and you know,

460
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 1: we just have to be positive. And that's always what

461
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,879
Speaker 1: my mom taught me. And I'm very grateful for her influence.

462
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: And again, well I didn't really fully understand it when

463
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: I was growing up. I certainly understood it now, and

464
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: I wish I'd had a little more time with her

465
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: to be able to share more things with her. Yeah,

466
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 1: and I think you continue to understand it's a longer

467
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 1: where without our moms. You know, when my mom passed away,

468
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 1: I certainly was too young to even understand and the impact.

469
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,959
Speaker 1: I remember be talking in this interview about somebody asking

470
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 1: me why I'm so strong, and I remember talking because

471
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: I saw the way my mother and my dad's dynamic

472
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 1: was and I didn't like that. And that is just

473
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 1: so diminishing to my mother, because my mother sacrificed so much,

474
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 1: you know, to be our mother to not you know,

475
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: she didn't get to live and pursue her dreams the

476
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 1: way that I'm able to live and pursue my dreams.

477
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,479
Speaker 1: The reason I'm able to do that is because of

478
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: my mother. And so I remember I was reading this

479
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: book recently. It's called The Seven Deadly Sins. We're having

480
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 1: this author on She's awesome, and it just talks about

481
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: how we don't give our mothers enough credit for even

482
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 1: just the time that they grew up and the time

483
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: that they raised us in it was so prohibitive for them.

484
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 1: Yet here are people that are able to like live

485
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 1: out their dreams and go after what they want because

486
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: our mothers were available to give us the allowance and

487
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: the freedom to do that, and if they hadn't sacrificed

488
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: what they had. And I don't think that's even just

489
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 1: beginning to sink in for me. But I do feel

490
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 1: like we talk a lot about, you know, people who've

491
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 1: passed on on the show, and you know, I'm not

492
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: sure how spirittual you are, but I know that you're

493
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 1: open minded. And I feel like my relationship with my

494
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: mother since she died is stronger than it was when

495
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: we were together on this earth, And there are so

496
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: many moments where I just feel her presence so much

497
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 1: guiding me and steering me, like in this very sagacious,

498
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 1: worldly way, which she was not like when I was

499
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 1: growing up. But that's exactly who she was, according to

500
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 1: my brothers and sisters. I just never had the patience

501
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: or the time to find that out about my mother,

502
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 1: you know, because by the time she had me, she

503
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: was older. So I have to say, like, the idea

504
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 1: that relationships can even strengthen beyond them being here on earth,

505
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 1: I totally believe to be true, and I hope you

506
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: feel that too and are open to those signs and

507
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: signals and like, you know, the stillness sometimes when you

508
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 1: feel another person's presence is really just so powerful. Yeah,

509
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 1: and my mom actually lost her mom when she was

510
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 1: young as well, and when she was in the hospital,

511
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: she said, I want you after I'm gone, to talk

512
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 1: to me as if I'm there, and I will be

513
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: there and I will listen, just like my mom was

514
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 1: there listening to me. And it gave me a lot

515
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: of comfort. And you know, I, when I ever I

516
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,479
Speaker 1: want to call her, I just I just talked to

517
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 1: her and she's there. Oh yeah, yeah, it's so sweet.

518
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 1: I believe that our moms are there. Hopefully they're hanging

519
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 1: out and your mom is my mom something, you know, hopefully. Yeah,

520
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast right now, bla bla crying. Okay, anyway,

521
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: thank you for sharing, Thank you for being candid. I

522
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 1: feel like we just had this moment we did. We

523
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 1: were last time we saw each other. We were on

524
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: the Kelly Clarkson Show or no, was it Kelly with

525
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 1: Wolfgang Fuck And we were talking about her book and

526
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: she started crying, and then of course I started crying

527
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: because it's contagious, and so now we're just crying whenever

528
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 1: we see each other. Okay, So anyway, we're going to

529
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 1: take some callers, we're going to call in and we're

530
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: gonna give them some advice and we've created this episode

531
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: to suit things that you would have experience with. Yes,

532
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 1: and we'll take a break and grab some clean X

533
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 1: and be right back and we're back. Are we ready

534
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: to continue? We're doing okay? Oh yeah, okay, okay, great. Well,

535
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: our first question comes from Rachel and Denver, and she obviously,

536
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: somehow a month before we talked about getting you on

537
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: the show, knew that you were going to come on.

538
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 1: She manifested it. And so she says, thank you in

539
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 1: advance for reading my letter. I'm hoping Lindsay Vonn makes

540
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 1: an appearance on the podcast, so this question is written

541
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: to both Chelsea and Lindsay. Dear Chelsea and Lindsay. I'm

542
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 1: a thirty three year old single female living in the

543
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 1: Denver area of Colorado with my dog Hide. My main

544
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,120
Speaker 1: hobbies are mountain biking and skiing, but I love staying

545
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 1: active in general. A year ago, I ended a toxic

546
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: long term relationship. Even though it was a crazy past year,

547
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: I was actually able to achieve one of my life goals,

548
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: which was buying a second house and turning both of

549
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 1: my houses into Airbnb's. It's been incredible to make the

550
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 1: leap and finally do what I've been dreaming of. Owning

551
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: and running these two businesses while still having my full

552
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 1: time job. Has allowed me to start saving for my

553
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 1: second life goal, which is to take a mini retirement

554
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: before I'm forty so I can travel the world mountain

555
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 1: biking and skiing. This leads me right. I love that.

556
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: This leads me to my first question, which is what

557
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: are your tips for being a single, solo female traveler.

558
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 1: I want to be able to make new friends and

559
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: ski and mountain bike wherever I travel too. In particular,

560
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: how can I make friends with guys who like these

561
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 1: activities without looking like I'm interested in them. My second

562
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: question is do you have any recommendations on a good

563
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: ski jacket and bib Combo. I've had my same ski

564
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: outfit since college and it's starting to fall apart. I

565
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: took Chelsea's advice and got some heated gloves this season.

566
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: They've been life changing, so I'm curious what ski apparel

567
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: brands you like best. I want to look good a

568
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: really warm well out there, Rachel. Okay, Well, let me

569
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,719
Speaker 1: answer that last part first, because Lindsay sent me her

570
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: fucking suit, which is called core right by it. It's

571
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: by Head, but Lindsay designed it. This is the best

572
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: ski suit I have ever had. It's two pieces, but

573
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: it has it. Is it gortex or is it something

574
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: stronger than gortex? Because I think I think it's something

575
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: similar but stronger. Yeah, because I have gortex suits and

576
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: they're not like this, and I love arc terics, that's

577
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 1: what I usually wear. This is better than arc terics.

578
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: This not only keeps the cold the wet out, it

579
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: keeps the wind out. It's somehow fucking windproof this suit.

580
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: And Whistler has very strange weather patterns, so there's a

581
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: lot of really like Arctic blasts and it gets really cold.

582
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: Most people don't like to ski and that I love that,

583
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: but this keeps me warm and the scoot. I mean

584
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 1: this suit, Lindsay. Everyone stopped me. I've never worn a

585
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: suit so many days in a row, and then I

586
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: wore this suit. I know, I actually noticed that. I'm like, Wow,

587
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: she doesn't stop worrying it. She must like it because

588
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 1: you normally change like every single day, which I do too,

589
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: so I get it. I appreciate the support. That was

590
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 1: like a great that was a great ad. Just it's

591
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: just the best suit. And I'm not full of shit.

592
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 1: I love it so much, like I you literally wouldn't

593
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: wear it if you didn't like, yes, you do know that.

594
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: And I'll just all the details, even around the knees

595
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 1: like that little rouche ing and then like the bottom coughs, everything,

596
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 1: the pockets, everything is perfect on this jacket. And when

597
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: you ski, like you know, if you're protecting the back

598
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: of your helmet, which I learned like how to keep

599
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: you know, you always want to trap heat when it's

600
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: really cold. This suit is just like it's almost like

601
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: a NASA suit. That's how I felt like. I just

602
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: felt tougher. So everybody who anyone who's listening that wants

603
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: to ski, yeah, please look into her. Go fine. Does

604
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: it come in different colors or is that one color? Yeah?

605
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 1: I think it's a it's in like forest green and

606
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: baby blue and yellow and black. Oh great, Oh perfect,

607
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: that's nice. So I'll have to sign need some more

608
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 1: color so you can rotate instead of just having the

609
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 1: green every single day, although green's my favorite color, So

610
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: I do think you look great at that. Yeah, that's

611
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: a pretty color. And let me know how that knee

612
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: surgery goes. Also, because I'm interested in possibly replacing my

613
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: knees at some point both of them. Yes you should.

614
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: I mean, I know a lot of people that have

615
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: had it, and they've all raved about it. So I

616
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: am very excited. I'm always limited with what I can

617
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: do physically because of my knee, and I'm excited to

618
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 1: hopefully not have that in the future. Plus, you're so

619
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 1: good at recovering from surgeries, like this is going to

620
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: be a breeze from you. I can do my own rehab. Yeah. Okay,

621
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: So the first part of that woman's question, Yeah, so

622
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 1: the first part, does she get into groups and meet

623
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 1: guys without her thinking they're into them? I don't. Well,

624
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: that's a separate issue. The first issue. First of all,

625
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: you should join Strata if you haven't. If you're not

626
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: on Strata, because that's a great bike riding community where

627
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: you can compare speeds, meet people, talk to people who

628
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 1: are in the area that you're going to. If you

629
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 1: don't want to go on these adventures by yourself, there's

630
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: always cycling groups, you know, in my Orca. I know,

631
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: there's tons of cycling groups that you can join as

632
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: a single person and find people that are also going

633
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: to be single, so that you're never really alone traveling

634
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: because I think as a female it is more important

635
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: to always surround yourself with some people that are going

636
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: to be there, you know, whether they're friends or not.

637
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: It's just better not to be alone as a woman

638
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: in some parts of the world, like the United States.

639
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 1: So I would definitely do that joint strati if you're

640
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: not already on that. And all of these activities you're

641
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: talking about, whether it's skiing or whether it's biking, you

642
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: could always find these groups too. Like you know, there's

643
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 1: there's always like a social aspect for skiing. There's also

644
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 1: like Importio Chili, there's you know, groups that come down.

645
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: There's also singles women's week. You know, there's most ski

646
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: resorts have you know, either a singles week or a

647
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 1: women's only week. You know, there's a ton of groups

648
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 1: that you can travel with and meet up with, so

649
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: you're not by yourself, but you're with people that are

650
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 1: equally excited to do what you want to do. Yeah,

651
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: So that's the easy part. So get your ski suit,

652
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: go on your trips, join all these clubs, and then

653
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: come back with a husband or pent. Excellent. Well, our

654
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: next question comes from Miranda, and she's going to be

655
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: joining us here on the zoom. She's twenty eight. Dear Chelsea,

656
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: I'm a female golfer and constantly on the golf course

657
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: men make sexist comments toward me and my female friends.

658
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: I usually just laugh off their quote unquote jokes, but

659
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 1: it bothers me so much, to the point where it

660
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: negatively affects my game and my desire to get on

661
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: the course. I've asked a couple of women in my

662
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: life for advice about this, but there are never any

663
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: concrete ideas. I feel like Chelsea would have good tips

664
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 1: on how I can put these men in their place

665
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: or not let it affect me as much as it does.

666
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: It happens almost every round that we get paired with

667
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: older men. I absolutely love golf, but this aspect of

668
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: it fills me with such anxiety that I wonder if

669
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 1: continuing to play is even worth it. Miranda, Hi, Miranda, Hello,

670
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: how's it going good. Our special guest is Lindsay Vaughan,

671
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 1: so you have her today to give you advice as well.

672
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: How are you good? How are you good? I normally

673
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: cheer for Team Canada that I can make an exception today,

674
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 1: I think you'll have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all

675
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: the same anyway, you're right, You're right. Well, lindsay, do

676
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: you want to start this one? Because I feel like

677
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: you probably had a lot of experience with this kind

678
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 1: of thing. Yeah, I definitely have. I honestly, I enjoy it.

679
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: I use it to my advantage and I love also

680
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: self deprecation. So you know, whatever guys throw at me,

681
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 1: I usually make some self deprecating comment back, or you know,

682
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: I hit him with I kind of flip it around

683
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: on them, or you know, I don't know. I just

684
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: find that the more I use it as like a positive,

685
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: I always perform better. Or when I was King, when

686
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 1: people made fun of me, especially men, I mean, I

687
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 1: have been made fun of for literally everything, and I'm

688
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: still being made fun of, which is kind of insane.

689
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: Like I got comments because I was wearing a tight

690
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: one piece suit the other day and someone that I've

691
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: known for a long time made a comment about how

692
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: tight my suit was, and I was like, you know what,

693
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: the guy's just jealous. You know, he's you know, you

694
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 1: know they're jealous of what I have. And again I

695
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: don't take it personally, which is obviously easier said than done.

696
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: But however, you can flip it, whether it's in your

697
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,760
Speaker 1: mind or it's a comment back to them, the better

698
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 1: and you know, you get use it to your advantage. Yeah,

699
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: that's a good point. Yeah, I like that. I like

700
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 1: the idea of using it to fuel you. I mean, listen,

701
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: if you're talking to me, obviously I'm just gonna go

702
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 1: off on that guy and they're never gonna say another

703
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: thing to me. Again, I knew that was coming. I

704
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 1: can't give you the language to do that, but I mean,

705
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: you just give a dish up what they're dishing up

706
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: right back at them. Because men can't handle what they

707
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: say to women. They can't handle it. They're sensitive and

708
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: they're insecure. Insecure. You wouldn't been making fun of somebody

709
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 1: unless you were insecure, you know what I mean, especially

710
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: when you haven't done anything to deserve that you're golfing.

711
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: I know, I feel like by me not saying anything,

712
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 1: it almost compromises my comfort just to almost protect theirs,

713
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 1: which which I hate, and the annoying thing is it

714
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: normally happens when like I normally only golf with one friend,

715
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: and when you only book a tea time for two people,

716
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 1: they always pair you with two other people, and it's

717
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: always two older men that are saying stuff to us

718
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: the entire time. So it's basically four hours of this.

719
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 1: Sometimes they're great, and sometimes the groups are horrible, and

720
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,839
Speaker 1: like they say stuff to us right when we start,

721
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: and then it just puts me in a shitty mood

722
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: for the whole day. But yeah, you're right. Also, the

723
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 1: question is like why golf? I feel like there could

724
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 1: be a better sport. No, let's deconstruct this even more

725
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 1: playing golf. That's a good point. I took it up

726
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: during COVID. You know what you get outside, You have

727
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 1: some drinks, riding in a car. It's very fun and

728
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: I find it relaxing. Yeah, it sounds like you need

729
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: to make two more friends though to do it. Yeah,

730
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 1: you're not. Your day isn't ruined every day by these

731
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 1: two idiots. So A get some other friends, rope them

732
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: into golfing. Actually, A find a different sport. B. If

733
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: you're gonna stick to golfing, rope some other friends in.

734
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: So you don't have to deal with two guys you

735
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, I have done that. And see, make

736
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 1: sure you give it back to them, you know what

737
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 1: I mean. They will cower as soon as you level

738
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: it up. Men understand that the dynamic is shift. As

739
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 1: long as you're not saying anything, they're gonna keep going

740
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 1: in on you. It's like a bully. And as soon

741
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 1: as you turn around and say, hey, like this guy

742
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 1: said to me the other day, these guys invited me,

743
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 1: helly skiing? I said, no, my knee's really blown, like

744
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 1: my knee was too swollen. I go, my knee hurts.

745
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: He goes, oh, your knee hurts, like, oh yeah, And

746
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: I don't want to be seen skiing like you see.

747
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: That's good. That was over. That conversation ended and he

748
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 1: never came back around. If I hadn't done that, he

749
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: would have continued on and on and on. But it's

750
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: good to just kind of get some stuff in your

751
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: arsenal that you can throw back at them. And with men,

752
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 1: it's really not that difficult, Like you don't have to

753
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: be that prepared for what they're talking about. You know, Yeah,

754
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 1: you're very right. They're always the stupidest jokes too. They're

755
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: not funny at all, are all terrible. It's never it's like,

756
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 1: if you're gonna make a joke too, to make it

757
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 1: a little bit funny. Entertaining something though, it's always like

758
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: a guy puts the ball not very far and he

759
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: says to his friend like, oh, you hit that one

760
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: with your purse so stupid. Yeah, exactly, you can come

761
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 1: up with some good, good lines in return. Yeah, I

762
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 1: can come up with something better than that. But its

763
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 1: just I feel like it always throws me off guard

764
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: every time, which is so strange because I should be

765
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 1: used to it by now. Well, then you have to

766
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: get more prepared. You have to go in there more

767
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: prepared with the mission. Like today, I'm going to give

768
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: it back. I'm going to serve it right back up

769
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 1: to them, and just think about every woman that you

770
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: are helping by you using your voice, because the next

771
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: time they run into a woman like you, they're going

772
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,839
Speaker 1: to be much less likely to harass her. So if

773
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: you need that as an extra motivation, use it. That's

774
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: a good point. And to your point, they're going to

775
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 1: say the same jokes every time, so you're not going

776
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: to have to come up with that many like clapbacks. Right, yeah,

777
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 1: next time, Oh it looks like you hit that with

778
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:52,360
Speaker 1: your purse, you can say, well, it looks like you

779
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: hit that with one of your balls. There's lots of

780
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 1: old man bald jokes that you can make, or you know,

781
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 1: intellect jokes, or the fact that we're in the year

782
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, is it? Yeah, next year that I've

783
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 1: been thinking it was twenty twenty four for like two

784
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 1: years already. I don't know what I'm smoking, Well, we

785
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:17,399
Speaker 1: all know what i'm smoking. Also, try smoking pot while

786
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 1: you're at the golf course. You won't give a shit

787
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: about anything that's true about what they're saying. You'll be

788
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 1: really focused on your game. Yeah. Yeah, Normally the drinking

789
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: comes into play and it makes it a little easier,

790
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: but it's just more annoying than anything. It's just irritating

791
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: that people are still saying things like this. Yeah, but

792
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: definitely don't let anyone decide like how you're going to

793
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: spend your time. You're not going to knock golf because

794
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: guys are there. You're gonna make sure that you're going

795
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 1: to golf, you know what I mean That you're going

796
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 1: to be fine when guys are around, right, as long

797
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: as I don't pick another sport before then, well yeah,

798
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: I mean try volleyball or something that seems key sports

799
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: are Okay, I got a couple of those onlock. But

800
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: you know, good for summer. It's good for summer. Oh yeah, okay, good, yeah, awesome. Well, Miranda,

801
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: please let us know what kind of come back to

802
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 1: come up with and how it goes next time. All right? Well,

803
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: can I say one thing before la Chelsea and Katherine.

804
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: I thought of you guys the other day because me

805
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 1: and my friends were on our way to a ski

806
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: trip and my friend decided she would eat her breakfast

807
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,320
Speaker 1: in the car, and it consisted of hard boiled eggs,

808
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: and right before I turned around, I saw her about

809
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 1: to open the container, and I prevented it from happening.

810
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,399
Speaker 1: But I could not believe she was going to eat

811
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: them in the car. I could not believe that the

812
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: privacy of her car of car. It was our car.

813
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,479
Speaker 1: I was, my boyfriend was driving, I was in the front.

814
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 1: Let's catch Lindsay up on this, so she's aware of Lindsay.

815
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: It was revealed to me late last year, in twenty

816
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: twenty three, that Katherine travels regularly on planes with a

817
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 1: zip block bag of hard boiled eggs that have been

818
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: peeled and then and eats them because there they were

819
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 1: a good source of protein. I said, well, it is true. However,

820
00:40:55,440 --> 00:41:02,399
Speaker 1: they do smell like hagg eggs smell no feet. Yeah,

821
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: it smells like ass. But I think, you know, maybe

822
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: maybe eat them before you get on the plane because

823
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 1: they are a good source of protein. But like, spare

824
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: your seat made when you're closed vehicle. I made her

825
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: eat them in the parking while she was standing in

826
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 1: the parking lot eating them, because I mean, that's a fair,

827
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: that's fair. Some peanut butter or something like a peanut

828
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: butter stick, like, that's better. That's not offensive to anyone.

829
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 1: Everyone loves peanut butter. Almonds don't smell except the kids

830
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: that are allergic to peanut butter. On planes, Yeah, there's

831
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: many options. I flew home from from somewhere yesterday and

832
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,839
Speaker 1: they put down a thing of those almonds, and I'm

833
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: just like, those are the most unappealing almonds I've ever seen.

834
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: Like I was just like what I was, just like

835
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: I just looked at them. I'm like I don't even

836
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: want one, you know, like almonds when they're hot on

837
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 1: a plane are good. When they don't do that and

838
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: they just throw some mix together, I'm like, no, no, no,

839
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 1: back the funk ups anyway, So grab your and grab

840
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: your peanut butter, don't grab your eggs. Head to the

841
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,800
Speaker 1: golf course and stand up for yourself. Yes, or I

842
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: do grab my eggs and no one will go near me.

843
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: My love to your friend. I'm sure you would. You

844
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: guys get along well. Awesome, Thanks so much for calling him, Miranda.

845
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 1: Take care. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why anyone golfs anyway.

846
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: I find golfing to be so boring. It seems I

847
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,320
Speaker 1: can confirm it's very boring. Oh right, exactly. You know

848
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: what I've been watching is that Full Swing documentary docuseries.

849
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: Do you know about this on Netflix? Oh? Yeah, it's

850
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 1: actually makes golf someone interesting. Yes, I was gonna say

851
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: the same thing because I was like, oh, this is

852
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 1: something I know nothing about. Let me watch a couple

853
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 1: of episodes, and it's a lot about Jordan's speeth and

854
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: they have a couple of players that are like on

855
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: the up and up. Yeah, Jordan's great. I mean, I

856
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: love Jordan. He's under arm or guy, and I've known

857
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 1: him for a long time. There's some I mean, there's

858
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 1: some good people, and I think you just don't see

859
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: their personalities when they're playing, which is why I think

860
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 1: others words are more engaging. But I think that this

861
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: is showing actually a good side of golf. So good

862
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 1: on them, and I'll break point. The Tennis one breakpoint.

863
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 1: I've seen a couple episodes of that. And then the

864
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,919
Speaker 1: Formula one also, I haven't seen that yet because that's

865
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: I'm less interested in Formula one than I am in golf,

866
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 1: but I'm going to get to it because that's another

867
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: sport where I'm not paying attention and I don't know

868
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,359
Speaker 1: what to be really good. Yeah, I think I thought

869
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: you would love Formula one. It's like skiing. It's speed,

870
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: it's like adrenaline. Yeah, but there's a lot of mechanics.

871
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 1: It's very mechanical, actually not really well the way they

872
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: talk about cars and the pit. I like the attitude

873
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 1: and the strategy and the winning championship vibe. I love that.

874
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 1: You know what It is also great about full swing

875
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 1: is it's great to see the ebb and flow of

876
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: a career because you're never at your height all the time.

877
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 1: There's highs and there's lows, and it's always like the

878
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 1: underdog that comes in, you know, and wins when you

879
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 1: least expect it. And the people that have been revered

880
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 1: or celebrate to the most always end up not forever,

881
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 1: but they always dip and they have their troubles too,

882
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: So it's never like just some static road where it's

883
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 1: just an ascent, you know what I mean. It's honestly

884
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 1: really cool because it's kind of like every athlete has

885
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 1: their own little mini documentary and to your point of

886
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 1: ebbs and flows, no career in any sport, I don't

887
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 1: care who you are, is always at the top, and

888
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,800
Speaker 1: I think it humanizes athletes and shows you how hard

889
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: it is to be consistently at the top. I mean again,

890
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 1: no one's at the top forever, but to be able

891
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 1: to come back every time you go down is really hard.

892
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 1: So I love these little shows. I mean again, they're

893
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 1: like mini documentaries for every athlete, and it gives every

894
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: athlete a lot more credit because honestly, most people don't

895
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 1: quite understand the difficulty. Yeah, and it's not you know,

896
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,800
Speaker 1: there's a lot of similarities. You know, in my business,

897
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 1: there are dips, and there are valleys, and there are struggles,

898
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 1: and it is exactly how you behave in those moments

899
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: that make you a champion. You know, it's how you

900
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: pick yourself back up and how you succeed again after

901
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: you've fallen or you've failed or what you deem as

902
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 1: failure or you haven't placed. It's very inspiring to watch

903
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: these kinds of shows because it's just it's really about

904
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: it's a commentary on life and you know, competitiveness, and

905
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 1: I mean, there aren't a lot of industries or businesses

906
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: that you don't have some aspect of competitiveness in there.

907
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: Absolutely not until totally agree. Well, our next question comes

908
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 1: from Lana, and this is a bit of a relationship question.

909
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 1: I'm twenty four and I've been with my boyfriend for

910
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 1: three and a half years. This summer, we'll be moving

911
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,879
Speaker 1: in together for the first time in a new city

912
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 1: with new jobs. Within the next year or so, I

913
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 1: expect to be engaged to him. Our dynamic has always

914
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 1: been the same. I'm very affectionate, both physically and verbally.

915
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: I've been told it's like I don't leave the honeymoon phase.

916
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 1: And he's always kind, caring, supporting me emotionally, showing up

917
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 1: for me, helping me whenever I ask, and taking me

918
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: out on nice dates. He just doesn't express to me

919
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 1: verbally how he feels. He'll tell me he loves me

920
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: when I say goodbye or when I prompt it, but

921
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 1: usually no sweet words come unprompted. I'm not one hundred

922
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 1: percent sure what's triggering this now, but recently I've been

923
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: feeling insecure about how we display our love to each

924
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: other and how it feels disproportionate to me. The perfect

925
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 1: partner would be able to show their love through all

926
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: love languages because they want to gift giving verbal affection,

927
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 1: physical affection, acts of service are all things I provide

928
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 1: when I truly and deeply love someone without having to

929
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 1: think about it. Is this an unrealistic view to expect

930
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 1: the same. I've talked to him about this, and he

931
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: says my feelings are valid, that he's always felt I

932
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 1: have more affection toward him than he has for me.

933
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: This hurt to hear, but he assures me that he

934
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: loves me and is in love with me. He just

935
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,800
Speaker 1: doesn't feel affection for anyone as deeply as I do.

936
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,240
Speaker 1: He told me that he used to feel very deeply

937
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 1: growing up, but that changed going through painful heartbreaks and

938
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 1: dealing with a close loss as a young adult. Is

939
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 1: it wrong for me to find this outlook sad and

940
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 1: to want more from him in terms of verbal and

941
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: physical affection even though he checks all the other boxes.

942
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 1: I'm torn because I know I can find many men

943
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: who will say sweet things to me, but they don't

944
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: actually care. Is it just an insecurity on my part,

945
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 1: needing to know how he truly feels because of the

946
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 1: next steps will be taking soon? Lana Hi laa hi, Hi?

947
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: How are you? I'm doing you and you are twenty four?

948
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: You said right, yes, I am okay. So the only

949
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: thing that struck me in your letter if you hadn't

950
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: said this part, which was he used to be affectionate

951
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 1: with other people and then he got his heartbroken, which

952
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 1: is the reason he's giving you for not having as

953
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: much affection as you. Is kind of like, oh, so

954
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 1: he has the capability, but he's chosen to shut down

955
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,239
Speaker 1: rather than open up. So that doesn't make a lot

956
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 1: of sense because if he really felt like you were

957
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,839
Speaker 1: the one and you guys are supposed to be together,

958
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 1: I would imagine that that would be broast open again,

959
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 1: you don't really we don't really have control over who

960
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,879
Speaker 1: we fall over. That aside, it does sound like you're

961
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 1: expecting from him what you're giving out, and that's not

962
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 1: a fair thing to do in a relationship. You can't

963
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: expect the partner to give you what you want to give,

964
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 1: or that your partner is going to be great at all.

965
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 1: Four love languages, Like, that's just not realistic at all.

966
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 1: If I can interject, there are five love languages, and

967
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: the one that you left out, Lana was quality time,

968
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: which is the thing that he is really giving you,

969
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:32,280
Speaker 1: and that maybe the way he expresses his love languages.

970
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 1: Started interrupt. No, I'm glad you did. I mean, I

971
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 1: had no idea there were five because I haven't read

972
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: that fucking book. I've only heard about it NonStop for

973
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,239
Speaker 1: the last ten years. That's the thing is I think

974
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 1: everybody hears like the Instagram snippets of it. Oh, I'm

975
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: figuring the four agreements that got it. But yeah, you

976
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 1: know the thing about the love languages is it's about

977
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 1: finding out what each person's actually is and expressing love

978
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: to them through that, Like maybe yours is more heavily

979
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 1: These verbal little sweet things that he might say and

980
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 1: his maybe quality time. So it's just a mismatch and

981
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: figuring out how to encourage him to give you what

982
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 1: you need and you to give him what he needs. Okay,

983
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 1: is it wrong to like specifically ask for that? Like

984
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 1: That's what I've been doing in the past few weeks

985
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: because I wrote in this email after we had like

986
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 1: a little bit of not an argument, but a discussion,

987
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: and then I kind of circled back to him later

988
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: after I kind of decompressed, and I was kind of saying, like,

989
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,760
Speaker 1: growing up, I didn't get verbal affection or physical affection

990
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: for my parents, and just thinking about living my whole

991
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: life not getting that is like really sad. So I've

992
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: been just asking for it, like, hey, like when you're done,

993
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: can you come here and like give me a cuddle

994
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 1: or something cuddle me. I don't know if that's not

995
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: romantic or if that's like being needy. It's communicating what

996
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 1: you need from your partner, and I think that's great

997
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,839
Speaker 1: and what if he's not able to deliver it though? Right?

998
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 1: And there have been times recently where he has been

999
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 1: so stressed out with being on the job market and

1000
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 1: everything where he has been like, I'm not really in

1001
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 1: the mood to be really affectionate right now. I'll spend

1002
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 1: time with you and we'll have dinner together, but I'm

1003
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 1: not going to be as loving as you want me

1004
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: to be right now. And I think as long as

1005
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,399
Speaker 1: that's communicated, I'm okay with that. But it is still

1006
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: kind of hard to be like, well, what if what

1007
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 1: if there is a perfect person where he would act

1008
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 1: this way towards Well, first of all, there's no perfect person,

1009
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 1: Like there's no one that's going to do all the

1010
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: love languages, and that's perfect. But at the same time,

1011
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,839
Speaker 1: if you're communicating what you need to him and he's

1012
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: not able to give that to you, you're young. You

1013
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 1: can't spend the rest of your life feeling like you

1014
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: need something else. So I think if there's that hole,

1015
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 1: and I felt it before myself, if you're not if

1016
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: you have needs that aren't being met and that's just

1017
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: the character of the person that you're with it, then

1018
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 1: it's just a mismatch, you know. And again, you're really young.

1019
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 1: It's fine to move on and start over, but if

1020
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 1: you live a hole and as not being filled, that's

1021
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 1: never going to get filled. You're never going to change someone.

1022
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 1: If they can't do what you're you're needing them to do,

1023
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 1: then it's just not going to work. Yeah, Like I

1024
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 1: want to say, I am a little bit like I

1025
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 1: think your boyfriend and I have been in relationships with

1026
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 1: people who have been very needy of affection and time

1027
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 1: and like lots of cuddling and kissing, and I can

1028
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 1: give only so much. Like it's not a reflection of

1029
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 1: how I feel about them, it's a reflection of like,

1030
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,840
Speaker 1: I'm very comfortable in my own space and in my

1031
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: own skin, and when I'm needed like that. You know,

1032
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 1: if I wanted to be needed like that, I would

1033
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 1: have become a mother, Like I don't. I don't like

1034
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: when I feel needed, so I can kind of relate

1035
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 1: to you know, it's just a different set of importance

1036
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 1: around you, like what I value. I also don't like gifts,

1037
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 1: Like I don't care if I ever get a gift

1038
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 1: in the world, and it doesn't matter to me. Those

1039
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,399
Speaker 1: things don't matter. So I'm about like I like time spet.

1040
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 1: That's how I spend time with my friends, my family,

1041
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: everyone I love. Is about quality time. So I think,

1042
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 1: you know, there's two sides of this argument. I think

1043
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:16,399
Speaker 1: you are really young, twenty four years old. I really

1044
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 1: think you probably are going to want some more experiences

1045
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: in your life, like as you. I know that's probably

1046
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: not how you're feeling right now, but it's really the

1047
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: truth of the matter. From three women who are older

1048
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,759
Speaker 1: than you, You're gonna want a little bit more experience.

1049
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: It's like she's not getting what she needs, so she

1050
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: has to ask what she needs. Also, you have to

1051
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 1: respect that this person isn't built like you. You don't

1052
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 1: have the same brain, you don't have the same likes, dislikes,

1053
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 1: all of that. So I think it's somewhere in the middle.

1054
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 1: You know, you have to kind of figure out, like

1055
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,439
Speaker 1: what's make or break? How often do you need a hug?

1056
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 1: And if you do really need that all the time,

1057
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: then you should find someone who's going to give it

1058
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: to you. Right, And back to the point where I said,

1059
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 1: he was saying that he used to be like really

1060
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 1: loving in relationships. That was also back in high school.

1061
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 1: So I don't know if that's like a fair comparison,

1062
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 1: because he was saying, Oh, I was getting all this

1063
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 1: advice from girls to text my girlfriend I love you

1064
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 1: every day and good night, gorgeous, and he obviously figured

1065
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 1: out that's not what you're supposed to do. So I

1066
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 1: don't know if it's really like trauma why he's closed off,

1067
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:20,319
Speaker 1: or it's just him growing up. But I do think

1068
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,800
Speaker 1: it would be good for him to kind of go

1069
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:27,360
Speaker 1: to a therapist and explore that, because I don't know

1070
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: if he's really explored that. She meant that he also

1071
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: had a loss of someone close to him as well. Yeah,

1072
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 1: I mean he could, that could be it. I mean,

1073
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 1: but you know, is he going to go to therapy?

1074
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: Is he open to that? Like? Have you discussed that?

1075
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 1: I have discussed that he thinks that he is generally

1076
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 1: okay and he's like the strong one for all the

1077
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,320
Speaker 1: other people in his life, and that he would be

1078
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,760
Speaker 1: open to therapy if something bad happened or something traumatic happened.

1079
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 1: But I'm of the belief that anyone could use therapy

1080
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 1: at all times. So I don't know if you can

1081
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 1: really convince someone of going to therapy without them feeling

1082
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:05,439
Speaker 1: they need to. No, and there's no point, like, there's

1083
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 1: no point in forcing somebody to go to therapy. It

1084
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:08,800
Speaker 1: has to be their idea, otherwise they're not going to

1085
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:12,360
Speaker 1: absorb anything that they're going there for. Right. I almost

1086
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 1: thought about, you know, now that we're getting super serious,

1087
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 1: I am going to be moving to a whole different

1088
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,960
Speaker 1: state with him. We've been together for four years and

1089
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 1: so now it's like finally becoming real. Like if I

1090
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 1: do this move with him, next step in a few

1091
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,560
Speaker 1: years is maybe getting engaged. And I was thinking, well,

1092
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 1: maybe I should say, like, if I'm going to get

1093
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 1: married to you, I want you to be open to therapy.

1094
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 1: But I don't know if that's a fair ultimatum. I

1095
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,839
Speaker 1: think that's fair. I mean, we live in twenty twenty

1096
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 1: three or sometimes twenty twenty four. You know, have you

1097
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: tried golfing? He actually used to be on the golf team.

1098
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well he's tried it. We just had a

1099
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 1: golfer call in. So there's some similarities here. Well not

1100
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 1: very many actually, but I just thought golfing was something

1101
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: that I should bring up again. As far as the

1102
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:00,879
Speaker 1: therapy goes, maybe it's you two going together. Maybe there's

1103
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 1: something there. Maybe it's not just like you have to go. Yeah,

1104
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 1: it's good to get a third person involved in this,

1105
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 1: because I don't want to qualify you as needy because

1106
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 1: you're saying what you want, which is good, but you

1107
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:12,400
Speaker 1: might be coming across as needy and that might be

1108
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 1: rubbing him the wrong way, and then you're creating like

1109
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 1: a chasm. So it's like if he could modify his

1110
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 1: behavior a little bit and you could modify yours and

1111
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: meet in the middle, which would be like what would

1112
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:24,320
Speaker 1: happen in therapy, ideally as somebody saying, Okay, this is

1113
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: you got to compromise. Then I feel like you would

1114
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 1: have more of a like workable dynamic instead of you

1115
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 1: feeling ignored or slighted. You know, I feel like that

1116
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 1: might be a good option for you to bring up. Yeah,

1117
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: especially since you're moving, that's a perfect excuse. We're moving

1118
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: to a new state. We've never lived here before. There's

1119
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 1: gonna be lots of pressure, there's gonna be lots of opportunity.

1120
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 1: I want to stay grounded, and I would love to

1121
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 1: have like a way for us to just make sure

1122
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 1: we're always ahead of our problems. You know, therapy is

1123
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 1: great when you're going through something, but it's even better

1124
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 1: when you have the tools before you go through that.

1125
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: So hang it your hat on that and make it

1126
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 1: couch it in and then when you get in there,

1127
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 1: you can get into these issues. That's actually really you're smart, Chelse. Yeah,

1128
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 1: I think so too. Right in this moment, I was like, Wow,

1129
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 1: why don't you think of that earlier? Brilliant? Great, Yeah,

1130
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:15,320
Speaker 1: problem solved. Awesome, Well, Lana, let us know how it goes.

1131
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 1: Let us know how the move goes as well. Yeah,

1132
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 1: we'll do. I really like your idea, Chelsea, because we're

1133
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 1: also going to be living together for the first time,

1134
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 1: so that's also yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want to

1135
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,359
Speaker 1: screw this up, you want to succeed blah blah blah blah.

1136
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 1: Let's go to therapy, right for sure. I like that idea. Well,

1137
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 1: thanks so much for your suggestion. Yeah, yeah, absolutely awesome. Well,

1138
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 1: letting hawk goes. Okay, take care of Lata, good luck. Oh,

1139
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 1: she's a baby. I know I wanted to go break

1140
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 1: up with him, like, fucking it's your twenty four you

1141
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: need to find a new boyfriend. I wanted to be

1142
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,800
Speaker 1: like we all felt so needy at twenty four, Like,

1143
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,399
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I married two bad Oh shit,

1144
00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 1: I always forget you were married. It's so weird. You know,

1145
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 1: we don't need to talk about it. But you know,

1146
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: I always want to say whenever anyone in their twenties

1147
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 1: ask me for advice, I'm like, whatever, you just don't

1148
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:11,800
Speaker 1: get married. Yeah, exactly, I mean twenty four year so needy.

1149
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:13,880
Speaker 1: I used to I had a boyfriend. I remember who

1150
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: I was talking to over this weekend actually because he

1151
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:17,400
Speaker 1: was texting me, and I used to beg him like

1152
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 1: I would be like, I wanted to sleep at his

1153
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 1: house every night. He lived up the street from me

1154
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 1: in Santa Monica, and I would go over there every night.

1155
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 1: And I remember once he was like, Hey, do you

1156
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: have to sleep over every single night? And I was like, yeah,

1157
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 1: I'm your girlfriend obviously. You know, now, as I'm sitting

1158
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 1: here as a forty eight year old woman, I'm like, oh,

1159
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 1: how annoying you know, to not be able to go, Oh,

1160
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 1: sure you need space, let me I will sleep over

1161
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 1: a few nights a week. That if you know, when

1162
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 1: somebody asks you for space, you have to fucking respect

1163
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,920
Speaker 1: that and give them double like, let let them have

1164
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 1: their space. So yeah, I think there's a there's a

1165
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 1: neediness that comes in your twenties. You really want this

1166
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:55,920
Speaker 1: fairy tale that you think is going to happen. There

1167
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 1: is no fairy tale. It's like going to the Eiffel Tower.

1168
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 1: I went with my boyfriend and when I was twenty

1169
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 1: one to Paris, and I just had this vision of

1170
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 1: like what our trip was going to be like. And

1171
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 1: he was British and I was still American and I

1172
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:11,600
Speaker 1: was twenty one, he was thirty four. And we went

1173
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: to London and we stayed in a hotel room and

1174
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 1: the bathroom was inside the bedroom. There was no separate bathroom,

1175
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is not how Yeah. Yeah.

1176
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 1: We didn't speak the entire trip to Paris. There were

1177
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: pictures of me alone at the Eiffel Tower and him

1178
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 1: alone at the Eiffel Tower, and the Louver and every

1179
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 1: other thing that you saw, and the Chaste Laison because

1180
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: Princess di had just died there, and the Plaza Athnit

1181
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 1: just us not speaking because I was so disappointed in

1182
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 1: this fantasy that I had created in my mind that

1183
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:47,280
Speaker 1: had never shown proof of life, you know what I mean.

1184
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 1: It's just a yeah, there's no I mean, we just

1185
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: were not as fantastical. When we're older, we get it, Yeah,

1186
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 1: just more real. We've been disappointed enough. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1187
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 1: Well it's like a quick break and we'll get back

1188
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 1: to wrap up. And we're back with Lindsey, Vonn and

1189
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 1: Catherine to wrap up today's episode, which was good. This

1190
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 1: was a great episode. Yeah, absolutely, Okay, good advice. Lindsay

1191
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 1: gave good advice. Lindsay, you look fucking beautiful, by the way, ridiculous.

1192
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,200
Speaker 1: I was just sitting there looking at you, going, wow,

1193
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: you're looking real good. Yeah. Yeah, this, this lovely hotel

1194
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 1: is really making me glow over here. All Orlando hotels

1195
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 1: are beautiful, so pretty well, Lindsay, is there any advice

1196
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 1: you'd like from Chelsea? Yeah? Do you want any skiing

1197
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 1: advice for me? Lindsay? Yes? How do you ski so

1198
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:46,280
Speaker 1: damn while? Chelsea in your bikini? I've always wanted how

1199
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 1: do you like not freeze your tits off? Like That's

1200
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: what I want to know, because that I can't even

1201
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: handle being in my ski clothes, let alone like basically naked.

1202
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 1: But that's not my question. That was just something I'm

1203
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 1: curious about. But my actual is how do you because

1204
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 1: you love skiing and obviously I love skiing, but you

1205
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 1: work so hard, how do you manage both things? Like?

1206
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 1: How do you manage getting time to do what you love,

1207
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 1: and how do you manage being a boss. I just

1208
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, if I don't get to ski for

1209
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 1: a good solid two months a year, then I'm not

1210
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 1: worth anything the rest of the year. So I will

1211
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 1: work all summer long, I'll tour and I'll do that stuff,

1212
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 1: and then I have to have my time to ski

1213
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 1: because it's just so important for me. It's my only

1214
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 1: real passion besides what I do and reading books and stuff, like,

1215
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,520
Speaker 1: I love skiing. You know, the way you talk about

1216
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 1: it is the way I feel about it. I always

1217
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: want to be on the mountain. I always want to

1218
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 1: get up, and I mean my friends call it like

1219
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 1: they're just like, you're so ridiculous. Like I'm outside my

1220
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 1: door waiting for them to come get me. Well before

1221
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 1: we go to the and I've got my outfit on,

1222
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 1: like I've got everything reading, my gloves, my skis, and

1223
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 1: my phone, and I'm just sitting there waiting at the

1224
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:56,400
Speaker 1: ski lift. Like at the you know, we walk to

1225
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,919
Speaker 1: the little run and I'm just like an eager beaver,

1226
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 1: and they're like, you're just so excited. I'm like, yeah,

1227
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 1: I'd like to go out at eight thirty and get

1228
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 1: like three or four runs before anyone else comes out,

1229
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 1: and then I like to ski with my friends. But

1230
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 1: I feel like we talked about this earlier or the

1231
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: other episode, you know. I think for when you're in

1232
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 1: the public eye and the way that we both are,

1233
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,800
Speaker 1: there's so much attention on you, and your life is

1234
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 1: so much about you, and you're so self involved that

1235
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:24,600
Speaker 1: it's it's so necessary to actually have other interests that

1236
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 1: don't require it being about you. So for you, it

1237
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 1: would probably be something other than skiing to do that

1238
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 1: doesn't remind you of the main event in your life.

1239
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: And I always make sure that I take myself out

1240
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:39,440
Speaker 1: of my comfort zone and I'm trying different things so

1241
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:43,040
Speaker 1: that I remain normal, like a human being that's constantly

1242
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:46,040
Speaker 1: growing and evolving and not just spinning around in this

1243
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:50,480
Speaker 1: little hubris that is our lives. Yeah, okay, that's a

1244
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 1: good point. I mean, I played tennis. I love tennis.

1245
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 1: It's what about golf? Have you thought about golfing? I

1246
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:58,240
Speaker 1: think you should take up golf. That feels like the

1247
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 1: missing hole, so many puns in that, so many How

1248
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 1: do you also manage to change the subject? How do

1249
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 1: you also manage being away from your dogs. Well, I

1250
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: mean that's just out of good parenting. It's better that

1251
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 1: they're not with me in Whistler because they like to

1252
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: be at home in LA where they can go in

1253
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 1: and out of the house. They just prefer that, and

1254
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 1: I took them to Whistler and they're just too old

1255
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 1: for that. So the next round of dogs I get,

1256
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 1: I will make sure they're younger and they're more adept,

1257
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 1: and then I will bring them to Whistler. But I'm

1258
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 1: just trying not to torture them because last time I

1259
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 1: brought them they were like, what is snow? I'm pretty

1260
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,920
Speaker 1: sure they're from Mexico because everything is pointing to that.

1261
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 1: They only understand my bell and they like hot, warm weather,

1262
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 1: so I think that they're Yeah, I think they're from

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01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 1: South America. Any one of these mountain dogs that like

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01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 1: just wants to live in the snow maybe needs like

1265
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 1: a I need a part time dog for the winter,

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01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 1: and then I need a dog for summer. That's what

1267
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 1: I need to do to split my time up. Thank you,

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01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 1: Lindsay for taking the time to do this. I really

1269
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 1: appreciate it. You know, I love you, and I hope

1270
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: you have a great rest of your day in Orlando.

1271
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:05,919
Speaker 1: I think it's going to really be balls to the wall.

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01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 1: I mean, well, maybe I was hit a Disneyland will

1273
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:11,320
Speaker 1: I'm at it. Yeah, nothing better than an adult going

1274
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:15,919
Speaker 1: to Disneyland with no children exactly creepy at all. Well,

1275
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 1: thank you, I love you and I appreciate it you

1276
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 1: having me on. Yeah, thank you so much. We'll speak soon, Lindsey,

1277
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 1: Bye bye, and don't forget everybody. My new special Revolution

1278
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 1: is now streaming on Netflix and it's badass. And then

1279
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 1: I'm doing a tour, a little Big Bitch tour. Go

1280
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 1: to Chelsea Hamma dot com for tickets. I've added some

1281
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,480
Speaker 1: new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York.

1282
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks Amphitheater. I'm coming

1283
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 1: to Klamazoo, and then I'm coming to a bunch of

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01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's May nineteenth, twentieth,

1285
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:51,320
Speaker 1: and twenty first, and then I'll be in Atlantic City

1286
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:53,640
Speaker 1: June tenth, which is almost still doubt So get your tickets.

1287
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:56,840
Speaker 1: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1288
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com and be

1289
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,800
Speaker 1: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1290
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:06,400
Speaker 1: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law and

1291
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 1: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

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01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 1: com