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Speaker 1: Congratulations, you've been accepted into the inaugural class of Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls University. Whether you're packing for a new

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Speaker 1: year on campus, thinking through your gap year, enrolling in

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Speaker 1: a community college, or grabbing your souls for graduation, Embarking

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Speaker 1: on the next chapter of your life is often exciting

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Speaker 1: but also a little scary. There can be a lot

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Speaker 1: of unknowns that can leave you feeling uncertain, and having

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Speaker 1: the right support can help you to feel confident and grounded.

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Speaker 1: TBGU was designed to help strengthen your voice, sharpen your knowledge,

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Speaker 1: and affirm who you are and who you'll become. Our

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Speaker 1: goal is to create relevant and accessible resources, content, and

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Speaker 1: experiences to help you thrive at this stage of your

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Speaker 1: life and beyond.

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Speaker 2: More from our conversation after the break.

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Speaker 1: If you thought we were reserving the Sex Positive September

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Speaker 1: celebrations for our Big Sister brand, you thought wrong. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to Sex Positive September TBGU style. My name is Jana

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Speaker 1: Ellis and I'm the TBG University Coordinator. You may remember

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Speaker 1: my voice from a previous TBGU episode, The Growing Pains

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Speaker 1: of Graduation. Doctor Joy has so kindly passed me the

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Speaker 1: mic to begin leading the TBGU series as your new

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Speaker 1: host and because we wanted to return with a bang.

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Speaker 1: In today's episode, we're talking all things sex in College.

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Speaker 1: Joining me today is sexual health education enthusiast doctor Daniella Thorne.

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Speaker 1: She has over twelve years of experience in sex education, research,

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Speaker 1: curriculum writing, direct service training, design, development and facilitation. Doctor

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Speaker 1: Thorn holds both a master's and doctoral degree in public

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Speaker 1: health and has dedicated her career to supporting the advancement

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Speaker 1: and institutionalization of inclusive, evidence informed, and comprehensive sexual health

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Speaker 1: education and school districts across the country. In our conversation today,

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Speaker 1: we break down what's missing from gen z's current discourse

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Speaker 1: around sex, what it means to practice sex positivity versus

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Speaker 1: sex negativity, and shed light on how friends and family

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Speaker 1: can support college students they suspect of suffering from sexual

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Speaker 1: abuse or harassment. Here's our conversation. Very excited to chat

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Speaker 1: with you, doctor Thorne.

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Speaker 3: Awesome, Thank you, Good morning. I'm so happy to be

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Speaker 3: here with you all.

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Speaker 1: Yes, good morning. So you are a sexual health expert

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Speaker 1: who has worked closely with youth and developing culturally competent

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Speaker 1: sex education curricula, to start, can you tell our audience

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Speaker 1: what degrees you have, what do you have them in,

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Speaker 1: and how all these degrees have informed your work.

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Speaker 3: Yes, well, I'm so happy you act. So I went

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Speaker 3: to school a lot, right, So I have a bachelor's

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Speaker 3: in human biology Bachelor's of Science from the University at

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Speaker 3: Albany in upstate New York. I also have a master's

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Speaker 3: in public health with a concentration in health policy and management,

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Speaker 3: also from the University at Albany. And then lastly, the

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Speaker 3: spirit moved me to get a doctoral degree from Georgia

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Speaker 3: Southern University. I have a Doctor of Public Health with

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Speaker 3: a focus in community health and education. So that is

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Speaker 3: a little bit of my educational history.

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Speaker 1: Lovely, Well, can you walk us through what inspired you

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Speaker 1: to work with youth and sexual health advocacy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, great question. I was always interested in team pregnancy prevention.

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Speaker 3: And then after I got my master's degree, someone have

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Speaker 3: reached to me to be a long term sub for

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Speaker 3: biology at a charter school. So I was like, okay,

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Speaker 3: make a little extra coin during the master's program the

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Speaker 3: girls meet the coin, and so I did that one mornings,

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Speaker 3: maybe for like two or three periods, and I really

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Speaker 3: enjoyed it. My mom is an educator, she's a retired

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Speaker 3: educator in New York City school. So I always had

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Speaker 3: an aversion to education in regards to teaching in the

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Speaker 3: traditional sense, but I enjoyed bio kinda. But I noticed

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Speaker 3: that the young girls, who were predominantly black and brown

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Speaker 3: girls right from Auburney, New York, they always had questions

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Speaker 3: about their bodies. And at the time, I was in

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Speaker 3: my early twenties. So they told me as like big cousin,

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Speaker 3: who happens to be the bioteacher. And so once I

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Speaker 3: completed my master's program, I had asked the principle if

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Speaker 3: I could teach a public health course, and she really

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Speaker 3: gave me the true autonomy to develop the course and

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Speaker 3: pilot it, and so I was able to really embed

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Speaker 3: a lot of the answers that the youth were asking

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Speaker 3: me into the course outline. And I fell in love

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Speaker 3: with sexual reproductive health. Like I was like, oh girl,

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Speaker 3: you do not out your regina. Let's talk about anatomy, right,

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Speaker 3: Let's talk about hygiene. Let's talk about all the things

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Speaker 3: that they used to come up and just talk to

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Speaker 3: me about their partners and how do they navigate safe

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Speaker 3: sex practices, and so I was able to embed that

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Speaker 3: in my classroom and also bring in culturally competent things

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Speaker 3: that can land with my girls. Right, So we're dissecting

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Speaker 3: hip hop songs that I know that they're listening to,

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Speaker 3: and we're talking about how does misogyny show up, right,

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Speaker 3: and where do we get these ideas? Oh my goodness,

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Speaker 3: at the time, thought had become a thing. I don't

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Speaker 3: know if you ever know that word. I might be

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Speaker 3: aging myself now, but I didn't even know what that

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Speaker 3: word meant. And so just talking about like, what does

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Speaker 3: that even mean? How do we determine whether someone is that?

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Speaker 3: And just really unpacking those things. And so that's truly

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Speaker 3: where I fell in love with education, sexual reproductive health

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Speaker 3: education with young people, particularly my black brown girls. And

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Speaker 3: then I got to a place of like, I don't

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Speaker 3: want to do this for the rest of my life.

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Speaker 3: So how do I position myself to be in spaces

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Speaker 3: and to be in rooms in which we're talking sexide

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Speaker 3: curricula for people that look like me? Right, because we

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Speaker 3: cannot continue to take the cookie cutter approach and not

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Speaker 3: have the conversations. Now, in hindsight, I didn't have to

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Speaker 3: go get a doctorate for all of that and the

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Speaker 3: Cruity student loans. But I decided to do that, and

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Speaker 3: I'm grateful for what I did because now it's something

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Speaker 3: one you can't take away from me into when I'm

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Speaker 3: having the conversations, I have the theory to really back

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Speaker 3: the things that I'm saying, and it positions me to

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Speaker 3: then now train educators who are going to go into

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Speaker 3: classrooms in ways that they can be more inclusive, be

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Speaker 3: more values neutrals when they're getting ready to teach sex

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Speaker 3: at how health education to the young people. So that's

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Speaker 3: a little bit of my trajectory and how I fell

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Speaker 3: into sexual reductive health for young people.

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Speaker 1: I love that. I adore that, and I think it's

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Speaker 1: so important to have the teachers or the professors that

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Speaker 1: are like cool with you enough to have those conversations

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Speaker 1: and to open you up to questions you didn't know

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Speaker 1: you had. So I love that in your dissertation you

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Speaker 1: talked and you exe adolescent perspectives on sexual health education

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Speaker 1: curricula within the respective Georgia schools. Can you briefly talk

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Speaker 1: with us through your study and share some key insights

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Speaker 1: that you've gathered from that research.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so part of the doctor process for me was

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Speaker 3: to complete a dissertation. And a dissertation is essentially a

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Speaker 3: novel study in which you look up a thing. It

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Speaker 3: should be based in theory and no one has ever

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Speaker 3: explored it before. Right, That's essentially what it's today. You

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Speaker 3: write a really long book to like defend the things

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Speaker 3: that you explored. So I knew I wanted to work

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Speaker 3: with young people. What I didn't consider was that I

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Speaker 3: went to school in a very, very rural town in Georgia.

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Speaker 3: Like talk about trusting the Lord. I never visited this school.

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Speaker 3: I saw that they had a focus in community health education.

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Speaker 3: I was like, yep, this sounds good. This curriculum makes sense.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna apply. They let me in, gave me a fellowship.

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Speaker 3: I moved to Statesboro, Georgia, and I'm talking about cotton

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Speaker 3: feels on the side. Thankfully they had a Walmart, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, girl's supposed to be here for three years.

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Speaker 3: This was the stupidest decision I had ever made, but

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Speaker 3: I quit my job. I'm here now. And so I

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Speaker 3: went into this very rural Bible Belt city saying, hey, y'all,

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Speaker 3: I'm the girl from Brooklyn who wants to study sexual

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Speaker 3: reproductive health. And these are in spaces where the health

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Speaker 3: pe teacher also happens to be the deacon of the

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Speaker 3: whatever church is local, right, And so I remember my

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Speaker 3: dissertation chair saying, you sure you're going to get this

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Speaker 3: research done here, and I'm like, well, baby, that's what

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Speaker 3: I came for. So I was able to do four

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Speaker 3: focused groups with young people ages fourteen to eighteen to

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Speaker 3: really explore their perception of facilitators and barriers to accessing

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Speaker 3: sexual reproductive health education in their schools, and then also

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Speaker 3: their perception of what are the positives of getting sex

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Speaker 3: set in schools, what are the possible negatives. At the

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Speaker 3: time the area that my cohort came from, they were

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Speaker 3: still getting abstinence only sex ad honey, and like it

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Speaker 3: is twenty and fifty, Like come on, and so they're

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Speaker 3: still doing abstinence only And I just was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: we know how teachers feel. There's a lot of research

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Speaker 3: on how parents feel. There's a lot of research about

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Speaker 3: administrators communities, but like, y'all talk to the kids. You

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Speaker 3: never have anybody talk to the kids. And so it

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Speaker 3: was so awesome to have a conversation with the young people,

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Speaker 3: just candid conversations focus groups really to get rich data

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Speaker 3: about what their desires were, and many of them had

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Speaker 3: same concerns. So they found that their barriers were oftentimes educators.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: Teachers are uncomfortable talking to young people about sex, which

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Speaker 3: makes the young people feel uncomfortable to ask questions. They

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Speaker 3: found that parents can sometimes be advocates for sex said,

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Speaker 3: but they also can be hinderanced. Right, I don't want

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Speaker 3: my child, My baby don't need to learn about that.

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Speaker 3: My baby won't ever, and that's usually the baby that

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Speaker 3: is ever right. And also, just like administrators, they found

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Speaker 3: that community members have to really advocate and we see

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Speaker 3: that now all these years later. If the community and

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Speaker 3: the parents are advocating for some level of comprehensive sex

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Speaker 3: education in the school systems, usually the school districts have

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Speaker 3: to meet that need. So it was really dope to

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Speaker 3: be able to get that information from the young people,

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Speaker 3: talk to the young people, and thankfully enough that particular

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Speaker 3: district ended up adopting a more inclusive sex at curriculum.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't say because of my dissertation work, there was

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Speaker 3: already community like advocacy happening on the ground roots around

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Speaker 3: changing the curriculum, and so my dissertation happened at like

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Speaker 3: a pivotal time where I was like, oh, I got

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Speaker 3: to collect this data before they change everything, which is

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Speaker 3: like a great thing, but also I got to get

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Speaker 3: up out of here, right, And so that was what

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Speaker 3: my research was around. I love that.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: So can you explain or dive into what does inclusive

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Speaker 1: sex ed look like?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so inclusive sex ed, comprehensive sex ed looks like

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Speaker 3: age and stage appropriate information for young people and that

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Speaker 3: means a lot of things. So that means at kindergarten,

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Speaker 3: we are talking to our young people about boundaries, right,

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Speaker 3: what does a good boundary look like? If so, this

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Speaker 3: is your circle of space. If someone doesn't want to

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Speaker 3: be in your circle of space, you got to check it.

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Speaker 3: Can I give you a hug? May I borrow your pencil?

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Speaker 3: Can I borrow your blanket? For nap time? That's in

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Speaker 3: the elementary level or even kindergarten, and then it goes

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Speaker 3: all the way through the life course and so conference

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Speaker 3: and sex education. We're not teaching kindergarteners about safe sex practices, right,

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Speaker 3: We're saving that for later years because we want to

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Speaker 3: make sure it's agent stage appropriate. But exploring your sexuality

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Speaker 3: and human growth and development is literally a part of

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Speaker 3: the human experience. And so we're not going to wait

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Speaker 3: till high school to talk about puberty when many of

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Speaker 3: our young people are experiencing changes to their body physically, emotionally, mentally,

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Speaker 3: perhaps in late elementary fifth grade, and so it's having

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Speaker 3: conversations around basic anatomy, safe sex practices, boundaries, decision making,

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Speaker 3: refusal skills. I think people oftentimes they're just like, say

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Speaker 3: no to sex, say no to drugs. But what do

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Speaker 3: you do when you actually want to have sex with

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Speaker 3: your partner? How do you say no when you actually

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Speaker 3: do have the desire, Right, it's easier to say no

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Speaker 3: the stranger, but if you're a partnered then you want

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Speaker 3: to express your love in that way. How do you

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Speaker 3: do that? How do you negotiate common usage, How do

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Speaker 3: you have conversations around decision making with your partner? Right?

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Speaker 3: How do you explore pregnancy options? And of course these

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Speaker 3: are topics that will come up later on, perhaps in

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Speaker 3: high school, but it's really across the life course. Our

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Speaker 3: bodies are consistently changing. For that fourth grade person who

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Speaker 3: might be developing breast tissue. Do they even know what

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Speaker 3: breast tissue is? When they get their cycles? Do they

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Speaker 3: know how to change your sanitary products? If no one

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Speaker 3: has ever told them that, Hey, there's going to come

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Speaker 3: a point where you're going to start and now you're like,

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm dying a little bit. There's blood

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Speaker 3: coming from parts of my body that doesn't make sense.

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Speaker 3: So it's just teaching people about their bodies and really

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Speaker 3: normalizing that it is a part of the life. Of course,

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Speaker 3: that your body is going to continue to change. Jes

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Speaker 3: desires are normal. And also exploring gender identity, sexual orientation,

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Speaker 3: all those things, all all of it put a nice

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Speaker 3: bow on it. Those are topics that show up in

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Speaker 3: inclusive sex education. I love that.

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Speaker 1: So we talked about like what does inclusive sex ed

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Speaker 1: look like? But what does exploring it look like? What

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Speaker 1: does exploring your sexuality look like?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I think exploring your sexuality looks like what does

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Speaker 3: pleasure look like to you?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 3: So exploring your sexuality is what feels good to me?

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Speaker 3: When do I feel the most sexiest, what do I

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Speaker 3: feel the most confident? Who are the people that I'm

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Speaker 3: enjoying sharing intimate space? With right. What clothes make me feel?

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Speaker 3: You know, there's a cere materary. You know, for some

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Speaker 3: it might be some satin pajamas that you just put

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Speaker 3: it on. You're like, wow, I'm given today? And so

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Speaker 3: what does pleasure look like to you? And pleasure isn't

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Speaker 3: always physical intercourse? Pleasure can be just feeling good and

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Speaker 3: confident about yourself. What are the things that make you

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Speaker 3: feel the most confident, that bring you joy? And also

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Speaker 3: exploring sexualities to me is whom are you attracted to?

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Speaker 3: Perhaps what type of sex do you enjoy to have?

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Speaker 3: And then I would say unlearning some of the biases

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Speaker 3: that you may have been taught around sexuality, whether we

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Speaker 3: realize it or not. Our upbringing, there are so many

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Speaker 3: values that are embedded in us, from our homes where

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Speaker 3: we're rare, the communities in which we grow up, in

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Speaker 3: the music that we listen to. I grew up with

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Speaker 3: a mom who loved those I'm talking about Arry White,

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Speaker 3: Lutha Vangels. I will send you a Luther Vanders going down. Okay?

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Speaker 3: That music also embeds little things and values about sex

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Speaker 3: and sexuality, and so exploring what those biases are. Do

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Speaker 3: you hold these values or were these values superimposed on you?

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Speaker 3: All of that is exploration, and I think it's constant.

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Speaker 3: I'm a thirty five year old woman who even now,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, huh, do I have that because I have

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Speaker 3: that opinion? Or is it because I grew up in

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Speaker 3: a Caribbean household and like I just had no other

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Speaker 3: choice but to have that opinion. So I would say

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Speaker 3: learning exploring, but also for some it is unlearning.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'm curious to know what is sex positivity? Can

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Speaker 1: you elaborate on what that looks like? I am so

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Speaker 1: excited for this answer. For me, I am new to

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Speaker 1: sex positivity and so wanting to just learn, Like what

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Speaker 1: does that mean?

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Speaker 3: The terms are forever changing. To me, sex positivity is

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Speaker 3: like really showing up as your most authentic, having the

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Speaker 3: most agency about your sexual decision making. And I would

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Speaker 3: say consensual sexual decision making really free of like bias

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Speaker 3: or judgment, right, Like, this is who I am, This

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Speaker 3: is what makes me feel good. These are the sexual

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Speaker 3: decisions that I make. I am communicating my desires to

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Speaker 3: my partners. I am exploring fantasies. I am advocating for

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Speaker 3: myself and my sexual health. Perhaps when I'm with my clinician, like,

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Speaker 3: I am just walking in my most authentic sexual being self.

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Speaker 3: If I want to wear my sat in pajamas to

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Speaker 3: sleep because it's gonna make me feel good, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: do those things. I think it's like having true autonomy

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Speaker 3: and agency around your sexual decision. And to me, that's

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Speaker 3: what sex positivity is. And you know, some people choose

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Speaker 3: to share those things out broadly and others shoes not

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Speaker 3: to you. So to me, that's what it is to

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Speaker 3: be sex positive, really walking in your desires and feeling

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Speaker 3: confident and comfortable in your decision making around sex and sexuality.

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Speaker 3: A lot of the things that folks would say would

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Speaker 3: be sex positive, right, would be like, that's not lady

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Speaker 3: like now, people don't need to know you know now,

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Speaker 3: don't share that too much. You keep that for marriage, right,

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Speaker 3: And then you get into purity culture and all those things.

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Speaker 3: So it's a really interesting concept to kind of wrap

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Speaker 3: your mind around.

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Speaker 1: But what do you think is missing from gen Z's

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Speaker 1: current discourse around sex positivity on social media?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I think what is so amazing about

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Speaker 3: gen Z is that there's a level of confidence and

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Speaker 3: like sex positivity. For sure, they walk in their purpose.

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Speaker 3: They obviously naturally have access to way more information than

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Speaker 3: I could even fathom having at that time. But I

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Speaker 3: just think that because of social media, there is just

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Speaker 3: so much perpetuation of misinformation, and so there is this

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Speaker 3: like sometimes I would say misinformation or disinformation. Sometimes it's intentional,

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Speaker 3: other times I just think that it's like this is

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Speaker 3: literally not true. But if you can get viral enough

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Speaker 3: and get enough people to follow you on TikTok or

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Speaker 3: you get that SoundBite that goes to the shade room,

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Speaker 3: now people will be googling the thing that was literally

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Speaker 3: not true. And so it's like, what's missing to me

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Speaker 3: is just this fact based information Because as much as

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Speaker 3: gen Z is out here doing amazing things, gen Z

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Speaker 3: is also a generation that didn't necessarily have access to

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Speaker 3: conference with sex at at least school based conference with

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Speaker 3: sex at right, And so you theory, you ask Google,

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Speaker 3: you talk to Alexa to get some information that you

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Speaker 3: may not have, and there could just be this crazy

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Speaker 3: perpetuation of false information. And I think that's what's missing, Like,

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Speaker 3: how do you go back to the fact to ensure

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Speaker 3: that the things that you're saying are indeed correct? Right?

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Speaker 3: Catching an see sitting on a toilet seed, You're not

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Speaker 3: going to get that. But I guarantee you if a

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Speaker 3: celebrity or someone who has a following accidentally says something

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Speaker 3: like that, there is someone who is not going to

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Speaker 3: do the fact checking. Now the world thinks that this

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Speaker 3: is the truth, right, and now we've lost everyone because

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Speaker 3: now for this forty eight hours on Instagram, there are

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Speaker 3: gonna be people who walk away feeling like this falsehood

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Speaker 3: is true. And I think that's what's missing the fact checking.

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Speaker 1: Can you list and debunk some of the common misconceptions

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Speaker 1: that you're speaking about.

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Speaker 3: Yes, oh, such a good question. I would say, literally,

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Speaker 3: how do people potentially expose themselves to sexually transmit the FF?

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Speaker 3: I think we saw this even with COVID or monkey

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Speaker 3: popster Like people just really lack basic understanding. Granted I

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Speaker 3: have several public health degrees, but like basic understanding of

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Speaker 3: how things are transmitted to person to person. I think

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Speaker 3: that there is a lack of information on particularly backsterial infections.

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Speaker 3: So if you get community at once, you can't get

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Speaker 3: in here, and you can unless you complete t your antibiotics.

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Speaker 3: I think there's a lot of information missing there, Like

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of information missing around basic anatomy. I

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Speaker 3: follow those page on Instagram and they go around and

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Speaker 3: they ask male presenting people questions around female anatomy, like

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Speaker 3: what is the different sizes of tampon stand for? And

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Speaker 3: some of their responses, I'm like, not in twenty twenty

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Speaker 3: three are y'all saying it's the size of the vagina.

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Speaker 3: So I think there also is just a basic misunderstanding

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Speaker 3: of anatomy. The conversation about like permiscuity and just number

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Speaker 3: of people you've had sex with. Is that an indicator

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Speaker 3: of your sexual reproductive health status and wellness? No? So

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Speaker 3: I just think there's so many myths that just need

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Speaker 3: to be debunked.

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Speaker 1: I think that is amazing, and I want to get

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Speaker 1: a bit negative. So can you describe what is sex negativity?

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Speaker 1: Like what does it mean to be sex negative? How

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Speaker 1: does that show up in our daily lives? Can you

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Speaker 1: describe what that looks like for the everyday person, because

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it's more common than what we're thinking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think any common statement that is based in misogyny,

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Speaker 3: purity culture, the patriarchy, anything that has to do with

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Speaker 3: like the sexist like women should this right, men can

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Speaker 3: do this, but girls should do this. If they do that,

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Speaker 3: then they are this. I think all of that is

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Speaker 3: sex negative. Anything that does not concern you in your body,

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Speaker 3: in your part, that you have to say about someone

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Speaker 3: else's decision making is negative. Any stereotypes that are perpetuated

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Speaker 3: around a person, their body, their jenneral identity, their sexual

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Speaker 3: orientation is sex negative. Because the whole idea about sex

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Speaker 3: positivity is like free of shame, right, Like you are

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Speaker 3: who you are, and you make your sexual reductive health

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Speaker 3: decisions unashamed, very clearly, and you're making these decisions for you,

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Speaker 3: yourself and perhaps your partner. I think anything that is

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Speaker 3: sex negative is not mine of your business drinking your

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Speaker 3: water and minding other people's private parts, right, because what

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Speaker 3: someone does is especially if I'm not being intimate with them,

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Speaker 3: it's literally none of my business. However, a lot of

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Speaker 3: the music that we listen to right is based in

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Speaker 3: sex negativity. If you just think about the discourse that

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Speaker 3: we see on social media around sex, it's so based

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Speaker 3: in purity culture, like I'm not marrying a person that

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Speaker 3: has had X or this, Like it is so deeply ingrained.

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Speaker 3: And that's why when we were talking about exploring one

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Speaker 3: sexuality or even sex positivity. I was saying, some of

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Speaker 3: it is unlearning because I think in general, a lot

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Speaker 3: of the rhetoric that we are taught, and I also

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Speaker 3: speak specifically for me being Caribbean and being Christian, it

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Speaker 3: is based in a culture that probably a white man outlined,

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Speaker 3: and we have just been listening to it for our

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Speaker 3: entire lives. And so we believe that women should be

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Speaker 3: this and men should be that, and men definitely have

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Speaker 3: the ability to explore their sexuality and sow their royal Oh,

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Speaker 3: but a woman should just be deep and allow a

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Speaker 3: man to please them. I was listening to this podcast

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Speaker 3: a couple months ago, and I move my mind and

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Speaker 3: the question was when the sex end? And I just

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Speaker 3: think about, like the movies, the TV show sex ends

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Speaker 3: when the man climaxes, the man climaxes, and then sex

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Speaker 3: is over. And I'm like, what do you do? What

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Speaker 3: a concept? But that's what's perpetuated in the media, right

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Speaker 3: like this male present, a person climaxes and now the

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Speaker 3: experience is over. And so if you just think about

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Speaker 3: deeply all the message that we are taught around stereotypes

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Speaker 3: about men and women, et cetera. Who a lot of

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Speaker 3: it is sex negative and most of the burden to

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Speaker 3: be sexually I would say oppressed is all the women.

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Speaker 2: More from our conversation after the break.

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Speaker 1: So amongst our group chats, in our dorm rooms, in

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Speaker 1: our friend groups, we've heard this term body count and

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Speaker 1: discuss it's importance or lack thereof. What are your thoughts

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Speaker 1: on some of the discourse surrounding the amount of people

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Speaker 1: someone has had sex with.

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Speaker 3: My thoughts is, like, y'all really be bored. There is

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Speaker 3: no way we are still talking about like throw out

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Speaker 3: the window. It is such an antiquated conversation, and I

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Speaker 3: find the people who are perpetuating this conversation are film misinformed,

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Speaker 3: because the real questions that you need to be asking

433
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 3: someone is when's the last time you've had a comprehensive

434
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 3: sexual reproductive health analysis a blood panel where we're exploring

435
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 3: your possibility of viral bacterial parazoa, Like, when's the last

436
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 3: time you've been tested for real? For real, don't just

437
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 3: tell me they just swapped you clmenty and gonnerhea, because

438
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 3: there's a lot of stuff out there other than that. Right,

439
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 3: that's the conversation a person can have one sexual partner,

440
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 3: no sexual partner, one hundred and fifty sexual partners, that

441
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 3: still is not an indicator of their health status. I

442
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 3: think the conversation is pregnancy options. If we are having sex,

443
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 3: if we're having vaginal unprotected sex or even protected sex,

444
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,919
Speaker 3: there's a possibility of pregnancy. Let's have a conversation about

445
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 3: what are our thoughts about if we potentially have an

446
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 3: unintended pregnancy. What are your safe sex practices? That's the

447
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 3: question for me to ask, Right, are you on some

448
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 3: form of hormonal birth controls? Do you use condoms?

449
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 1: Like?

450
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 3: What are we the number of people what? I just

451
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 3: think it's a very old conversation, again still based in misogyny,

452
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 3: because I don't think that women are asking men these questions.

453
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 3: Anytime that I've seen it come up, it is or mom,

454
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 3: when we got to only have X, Y and Z,

455
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 3: I'm not marrying nobody to have more than X, Y

456
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 3: and Z, and like also too, where are these numbers

457
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 3: coming from? You know? But at the same time, if

458
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 3: you have the perceptions could be if you have x

459
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 3: amount of partners on the higher spectrum of whatever this

460
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 3: spectrum is, that is just problematic. Does that mean that

461
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:52,159
Speaker 3: you have more experience. It's just problematic and the conversation

462
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 3: has been very long standing. I do not think it's

463
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 3: going anywhere. And I think it's because this expectation of

464
00:25:59,040 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 3: like purity culture.

465
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: I know, for me, it was always like ten fingers,

466
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 1: keep it on, ten fingers, and so I brought that

467
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: into college.

468
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 3: That was my mindset.

469
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: I was like, as long as I have ten I

470
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 1: could count on ten finkers. And so going back to

471
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 1: your point of purity culture and just all of that,

472
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: it's deeply embedded. And like, I don't believe it's going

473
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,199
Speaker 1: anywhere either. I think it's an evergreen conversation.

474
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is so evergreen. And I've heard the ten

475
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,200
Speaker 3: fingers thing too. Oh if it's one and ten fingers,

476
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,679
Speaker 3: and they're like, oh, that's too much, right, Like do you

477
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 3: not want a partner who knows about their body and

478
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 3: knows how to communicate what their desires are? Because if

479
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 3: this person doesn't know how to communicate their desires or

480
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 3: is not able to please you, are you going to

481
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 3: seek the pleasure of somewhere else. It's just so and

482
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 3: so you still hear it now, right, I would assume

483
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: that people still bring it up So, Jana, where did

484
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 3: you learn this ten finger rule for the number of

485
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 3: sexual partners you should have in a lifetime?

486
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: That was passed on from one of my aunties, and

487
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 1: that was passed on from her mother. So I remember

488
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: that conversation like it was yesterday, was before I was

489
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: going off to campus, and it was like ten fingers.

490
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, that makes sense? But

491
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 1: looking back, it perpetuating sex negativity, and like everything that

492
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: you just stated about what's being sex negative is yeah.

493
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 3: My mom will even like God bless her, she'll say

494
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 3: things like I can count enough people I've been on

495
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 3: one hand. Right, does that mean going to have it?

496
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 3: What does that translate into? I don't even know what

497
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 3: that means? What does it mean? What is the badge

498
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 3: of honor? There? Right? Again, I'm sure that was ingrained

499
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 3: from her mother and her mother and her mother. Right.

500
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 3: And if you think about decades of the things that

501
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 3: women had to do in order to have some level

502
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 3: of security, being partnered and being married to a man

503
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 3: was one of those things. And if we think about

504
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 3: decades ago, our grandparents' grandparents, they wanted to marry a

505
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 3: woman who hadn't sexually debuted yet, and so I think

506
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 3: it's just this idea of desirability. Right, If I potentially

507
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 3: want to have this long term partnership, what are the

508
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 3: things that I can do to be more desirable? And

509
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 3: I think one of those things are not really exploring

510
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 3: yourself sexually. If I don't know the things that bring

511
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 3: me joy sexually, what pleasure really looks like for me,

512
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 3: and I enter into this lifelong covenant with someone i e. Marriage,

513
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 3: then whatever you do, I just got to take it

514
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 3: because I don't even know what pleasure looks like, you know,

515
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 3: So I might just let you hunch me at night,

516
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 3: because that's what they say I'm supposed to do. I

517
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: think a bridgeton, I don't know if you watched Queen

518
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 3: Charlotte or like, just like the examples of these women

519
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 3: who are just literally laying down to just pro create,

520
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 3: and they just look like they are not experiencing any

521
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 3: levels of joy, any levels of pleasure. That culture, I think,

522
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 3: still bleeds into many of the conversations that we're having now,

523
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 3: which is why the only way to describe it is antiquated.

524
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: We cannot keep talking about bod.

525
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: Accounts, right, I agree?

526
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: How can college students or younger women navigate the shame

527
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: around their sexuality, their sexual activity, the negative messages that

528
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: they ever sived from family, friends, society. How can they

529
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 1: navigate it?

530
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,239
Speaker 3: It's hard. I would say, it's definitely hard because in

531
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 3: college you're still learning yourself. Right. We say to these people,

532
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 3: especially people who go to college traditionally at eighteen seventeen eighteen, like,

533
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: go forth, be Mary, make all these decisions. Know what

534
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 3: you want to do for the rest of your life.

535
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 3: The thing that I thought I wanted to do when

536
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 3: I entered college is absolutely not what I'm doing. I

537
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 3: didn't even know the type of work that I do exist.

538
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 3: And so I say all that, like, it's hard because

539
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 3: you're still learning yourself and a lot of people are

540
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 3: going into college very uninformed about sexual reproductive health, right,

541
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 3: And so I would say the shame comes when you're

542
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 3: not informed. I would also say having a good community

543
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 3: or resources or place it you can just ask questions too.

544
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 3: If you don't have information, you can ask questions. Having

545
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 3: a solid friend group, whether that be your friend group

546
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 3: from high school or people that you trust in college,

547
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: which I know that can look very different. I don't

548
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 3: necessarily think that you need to yell from the mountaintop

549
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 3: and what your sexual decisions are are the things that

550
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 3: you're exploring or the people whom you're choosing to be

551
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 3: intimate with. And so I think I would say like,

552
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 3: as you're figuring it out, keep it close to yourself

553
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 3: and or people that you trust. And I know trusting

554
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 3: friends can be something that is very challenging for a

555
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 3: college student to figure out. But once you find your community,

556
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 3: really hold on to that community and talk with them

557
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 3: about what it is that you're thinking and feeling, because

558
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 3: not times out of ten you're not the only right.

559
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 3: You might just be the first to initiate the.

560
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: Conversation exactly how can lgbtqiaplus students find sex and resources

561
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: specific to their identity?

562
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, such a good question. I think that the Internet

563
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 3: is a great resource, but I would encourage folks to

564
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 3: check out plantparenthood dot org. There's so much information around that,

565
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 3: I think sexual health resources. Whether you want to engage

566
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 3: in oral or rational sex, there's going to be always

567
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 3: information about different types of safe sex practices and or

568
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 3: devices that a person can use. Now, is that information

569
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 3: going to be cognizant of talking about body parts and

570
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,959
Speaker 3: not necessarily use gender language, maybe not. And so I

571
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 3: would encourage a person who identifies with being LGBTQ plus

572
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 3: to just look for resources that talk about the different

573
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 3: types of safe sex practices that you might be engaging in.

574
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 3: Whatever that looks like. Yeah, that would be my advice.

575
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 3: But I always say plant parenthood is a great place

576
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 3: to start.

577
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: Gotcha, I'm curious to know what are some signs of

578
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 1: sexual abuse? Are Black women more susceptible to sexual abuse

579
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 1: and other groups?

580
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 3: Yeah? Good question. It's such a hard question because I think,

581
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 3: again back to this idea of sexual reproductive health education

582
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 3: or just education. I don't think people are really clear

583
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 3: about what sexual abuse looks like, other than what we

584
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 3: see on special victims, you know, what we see on

585
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 3: TV shows, which are oftentimes very extreme circumstances. I would

586
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 3: say educating yourself on what sexual abuse looks like. You know,

587
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 3: even basic to sexual harassment. What is sexual harassment? If

588
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 3: you are walking down the street and someone grazes you

589
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 3: and or touches you at a party and you don't

590
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 3: necessarily care for that, that is a form of sexual harassment,

591
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 3: you know. And so I think at minimum we need

592
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 3: to educate ourselves Black women for sure, College students even

593
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 3: more about what is sexual abuse? What a sexual harassment?

594
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 3: What is it to be sexually violated? Because I think

595
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 3: oftentimes people just go to the extreme, like forced into force,

596
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 3: which is not necessarily always the case. There are also

597
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 3: smaller things that might happen that maybe you may be

598
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 3: comfortable with. And I think about when I was in college,

599
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 3: which wasn't that long time ago. What it's a different

600
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 3: like that was a little while ago, but some of

601
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 3: the things that went on in parties or in the

602
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 3: door rooms, it's like, oh wait, this is not okay

603
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 3: and could potentially be a form of sexual harassment. But

604
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 3: people just weren't informed, and so at minimum, I would

605
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 3: say get informed. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, anything

606
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 3: that is a violation of your boundary, whatever that physical

607
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:30,239
Speaker 3: boundary is, that's a violation. It could potentially be a

608
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 3: form of sexual harassment, assault, abuse, et cetera. Obviously, bruising

609
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 3: is an indicator. I would also say if you have

610
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 3: a friend who is isolating themselves, that can be an

611
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 3: indicator of some form of abuse or even interpersonal violence

612
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 3: with a partner. And so isolation if you notice it's

613
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 3: just a difference in like the way that they're carrying themselves,

614
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 3: like maybe they seem a little bit more down, they're

615
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 3: not in a good space, and or the way in

616
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 3: which maybe they're talking about their partner or specific day

617
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 3: or time. I think all of those can be indicators

618
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 3: that person may have had a negative experience.

619
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: Gotcha, How can a friend or a family member best

620
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 1: show up for someone who they think has experienced sexual

621
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: abuse or assault or harassment?

622
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 3: Yes, I think the best thing to do is listen, listen,

623
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 3: believe that survivor ask them what the support looked like.

624
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 3: I think sometimes we want to just be fixers. I

625
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 3: know for me that's like, Okay, what do I need

626
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,919
Speaker 3: to do? How can I fix it? But I think

627
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 3: asking them what support looks like if they don't know,

628
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 3: because a lot of times we don't even know what

629
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 3: we want as support, I would say just showing up

630
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 3: as a friend checking in. You certainly want to believe

631
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 3: you definitely don't want a victim blame, right. I think again,

632
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 3: back to this culture of things that we were reared to,

633
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 3: Well what were you wearing? Well, what did you say

634
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 3: were you drinking? Did you say you were okay with it?

635
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 3: At two pm? But now at ten pm, you're not

636
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 3: okay what they will now consent is gone, right, don't

637
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 3: victim blame, Listen, provide support, remain available, and just show

638
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 3: whatever they need be there for them. I think just

639
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 3: listening and not victim blaming is going to be two

640
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 3: critical things with supporting a loved one who may have

641
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 3: experienced some type of violation.

642
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: I love that, and I think it's important just to

643
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 1: recognize how common it is on these campuses than we

644
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 1: think that it occurs, and that we need to support

645
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: a friend or a friend of a friend. It's so common,

646
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: And so I love all the tips that you just

647
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 1: gave because I wish I would have had more of

648
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: those while in.

649
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: School for sure. Same same, more from our conversation after

650
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 2: the break.

651
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 1: How can school admin better support college students who've experienced

652
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,919
Speaker 1: concerns about their sexuality orxual assault?

653
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 3: I think admin can do like a way better job educating.

654
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 3: I feel like freshmen should have to take courses around

655
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 3: sexual reproductive health like legit, because most of these young

656
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 3: people have did not get it when they were in

657
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 3: high school, and then you send them to college and

658
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 3: it's a free for all, and so I think that

659
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 3: there should be a requirement for sexual reproductive health education

660
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 3: your first semester freshman. Yeah, the same way they make

661
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 3: you take those freshmen like basic classes where they try

662
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 3: to teach you time management. Child. I think there needs

663
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 3: to be and embedding of sexual reproductive health. Like I

664
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 3: think about all the policies that I have learned about now,

665
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 3: like title nine in my adult life doing this work,

666
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I'm sure I did the orientation video

667
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 3: where I just clicked through, click through, click through, But

668
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 3: I don't remember ever having access to resources in a

669
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 3: way that I knew what my rights were as a student,

670
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 3: and or I felt informed and encouraged to share if

671
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 3: ever I had been violated it, or know where to

672
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 3: go other than to go to the campus police. Who

673
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 3: do I go to? Are there conflence services that I

674
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 3: can access to really explore was I actually violated? What

675
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 3: about consent? Oh, my goodness. Outside of not being able

676
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 3: to spell consent, they most definitely don't know what consent

677
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 3: is right? What is consent? How do you know that

678
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 3: a person is happily agreeing to the thing? Can consent

679
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 3: be withdrawn? Absolutely? So? Again, if I send my boothing

680
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 3: a text message at two pm, and I'm like, oh,

681
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 3: it's on tonight after the party is lit. And then

682
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 3: after the party I'm like, I don't really want to,

683
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 3: and I say, no, you no longer have my consent, right.

684
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 3: I think about how many people in college engage in

685
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 3: sexual experiences while drunk, while on some type of narcotic

686
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 3: that is not consensual. It's legally not consensual, And so

687
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 3: I think a class of course where it's like, you

688
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 3: have to sit and do this. It's not a press

689
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 3: the next answer five questions, and now we have proof

690
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 3: that you take in this sexual harassment training, and that

691
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 3: is good for you for the next four plus years

692
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 3: that you're going to be in college. There needs to

693
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 3: be this not only happen in freshman year, but this

694
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 3: refresher in which we're reiterating to young people on college campuses.

695
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 3: Here's where your resources are, and remember, this is what

696
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 3: consent looks like, how to receive it and also how

697
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 3: to give it, because I think there's a lost conversation

698
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 3: around how do you give consent in a way that

699
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 3: you're comfortable with? And I think oftentimes you're like, oh, well,

700
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 3: did the guy get consent? He got consent, But are

701
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 3: we also making sure that we're educating our black and

702
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 3: brown girl on how to give consent or how to

703
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 3: refuse a sexual evance. I think all of that is lost,

704
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 3: and I think colleges can definitely do a better job

705
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 3: and making sure that their students are informed.

706
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 1: I fully agree, and it's going off of consent. It's

707
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: super known that parties can be a place for students

708
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: can I have fun, but are also a place of

709
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: higher instances of sexual assault. We often hear advice you

710
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: know you protect your drinks, you're in a group. What

711
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: are some other tips or pieces of advice that you

712
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:13,399
Speaker 1: can give to students to stay vigilant in such settings?

713
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 3: I would say code words see your friends. Oh girl.

714
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about when I was in college and I

715
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 3: started undergrad in two thousand and six, and I remember

716
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,919
Speaker 3: my mom saying things to me like, oh, make sure

717
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 3: you cover your drink, and like, I just don't think

718
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 3: roofie was a thing. When I was in college. There

719
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 3: was definitely a cause, like I'm not going to the

720
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 3: bar and leaving my drink uncovered because like, people are weird.

721
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,399
Speaker 3: But it's less about oh, you're gonna put a roofie

722
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 3: in my drink. And also like germs right, like just germs,

723
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 3: But I think cod words with your friends, right, like

724
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 3: we want to give our friends all time and be like, ooh, girl,

725
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 3: he kind of cute. You want to go home with

726
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 3: him or whatever, But like, hey, friend, when I say pineapples,

727
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 3: just get me out the situation. The dope part about

728
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 3: just now and technologies like you can share your locations

729
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 3: with your friends if you're going on a date with

730
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 3: someone that you haven't met. I also, I would say, obviously,

731
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,360
Speaker 3: as best as you can stay coherent and aware, So

732
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be unrealistic and say don't drink, especially if

733
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 3: you're of age over the age of twenty one and

734
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 3: year in college. I would be a hypocrite if I

735
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,879
Speaker 3: said don't drink while you're turning up in college, right,

736
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 3: But being mindful of what your limits are, I would say,

737
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 3: knowing what your limits are, is it that third shot

738
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 3: that's gonna send you over the edge? Usually by college? Okay,

739
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 3: not the brown I'm not a brown girl. I'm a

740
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 3: light girl. Right, whatever type of alcohol you drink, just

741
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 3: being drinking and consuming whatever it is responsibly. I think

742
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 3: it's also important just so that you're in as best

743
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 3: of a sober mind to make decisions, and just being

744
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 3: around a community of people that you trust. Like I

745
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,399
Speaker 3: know when I was at undergrad, if we came into

746
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 3: the club together, we are leaving together. There is no oh,

747
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 3: I'm about to go over here dip off with this

748
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 3: one to go to his room. No no, no, no no

749
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 3: no no no no no no, because you have enough

750
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 3: time from us leaving the club, go into the room

751
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 3: packing a little spending night bag. So now kind of

752
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 3: sober up a little bit and make decisions. So I

753
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 3: would say having a solid group of friends and community

754
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 3: and college is going to be really important. That can

755
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,920
Speaker 3: also be your gauging point. Like since you sure you

756
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 3: want to do this, okay, all right, I respect you

757
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,759
Speaker 3: will text me checking in. I think those things are

758
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 3: really really important.

759
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 1: I love the code word. I love that I didn't

760
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,720
Speaker 1: think about that. I love that you talked a little

761
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: bit about Title nine. But can you explain what Title

762
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: nine is and why might it be important for a

763
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: student to be aware of this law?

764
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 3: So that's such a good question. So Title nine is

765
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 3: this law that really prohibits any type of sex based

766
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 3: discrimination in K through twelve as well as college schools.

767
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,800
Speaker 3: We oftentimes see it in sports. We see it around

768
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 3: sexual assault cases in which survivors are trying to hold

769
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,879
Speaker 3: the school responsible for whatever may have happened to them

770
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 3: when they were violated. We're seeing it a lot now

771
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 3: in a lot of the conversations, right trans young people

772
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 3: playing on whatever sports or having gender neutral bathroom, anything

773
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 3: that can be sex based discrimination is usually tied up

774
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 3: into title nine.

775
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 1: Gotcha, thank you for explaining that, doctor Thorne. What are

776
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: three to five things that students should keep in mind

777
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: when thinking about having safe sex?

778
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 3: Again? I will say, no, you're basic anatomy, right, I

779
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 3: would say, be comfortable exploring what pleasure looks like to you,

780
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 3: whatever that means to you. And of course this is

781
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 3: for college aged folks, right, exploring what pleasure looks like

782
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 3: to you, know your anatomy, I would say, explore what

783
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 3: unintended pregnancy options may look like to you. If you're

784
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 3: engaging in vational sex, and it is this possibility to

785
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 3: get pregnant, Like, what are your pregnancy options? What is

786
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,800
Speaker 3: your stance on there? Most certainly you want to explore

787
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 3: what contraceptive use looks like to you. Right, if you

788
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 3: are a female body person having sex with a male body, person,

789
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 3: there is a possibility for unintended pregnancy, So are you

790
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 3: going to only depend on that male body person to

791
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,760
Speaker 3: use a condom? Are you interested in getting on hormonal

792
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 3: birth control? Are you interested in long term birth control

793
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 3: like the iuz or the implant that can stay in

794
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 3: for a couple of years, And so exploring what does

795
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: making those decisions around your body look like? I would

796
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 3: also say being open to again, what does sex, sexuality,

797
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 3: sexual expression, gender identity, sexual orientation look like it mean

798
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 3: to you, not what you were taught, not what you

799
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 3: were exposed to and your upbringing because we bring those

800
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 3: values into our college basis because that's all we know.

801
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 3: And so exploring what that looks like your basic anatomy,

802
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: exploring what pleasure looks like, exploring what your safe sex

803
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 3: practices will be right? Which ones do you want to explore?

804
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 3: Maybe you want to try the birth control fail you

805
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 3: didn't like how that made you feel, okay, maybe you'll

806
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,879
Speaker 3: try something now on hormonal And then if you are

807
00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 3: engaged in vaginal penal sex, like, what does the possibility

808
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 3: of pregnancy options look like for you? If you're choosing

809
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 3: not to use safe for sex practices? And the last

810
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 3: thing I will add is, at what frequency will you

811
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 3: go get tested get screened for STIs? Because what's important

812
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 3: if you are going to be sexually active that you

813
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 3: also are sexually responsible and screen yourself for possible infections. Right.

814
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 1: Do you have any recommended podcasts or books that we

815
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: should look into to deepen our knowledge on exploring your sexuality.

816
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not saying that college students don't read books,

817
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 3: but I'm saying that college students barely want to read

818
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 3: the book that they got for class. So I would

819
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:43,280
Speaker 3: say some Instagram pages that I really appreciate is act Goodie.

820
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 3: Really enjoy Goodie's work. Sex with Ashley is also a

821
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 3: great ig page. One of my sister friends. Her work

822
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 3: is so dope because she really explores intimacy but with

823
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 3: the Christian lens for black women, so her name is

824
00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 3: the Intimacy Firm. I would encourage folks to look at that.

825
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 3: I enjoy sham Boudrum. She also has a podcast called

826
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 3: Lovers and Friends and it's always great dialogue around sexuality relationships.

827
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 3: And then there's this podcast called Not Another Sex Podcast,

828
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 3: which is like such a perfect name for the podcast,

829
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 3: and they do some really good dialogues. As well around

830
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,239
Speaker 3: sex and sexuality and pleasure. So I think those are

831
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 3: like really great starting points just to get information around

832
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 3: like exploring sexuality for a young adult at college. Just

833
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 3: try to figure this thing out one day at a time.

834
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 1: Right, something easy, quick digestible on my phone.

835
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 3: Back right. The other thing about books is like books

836
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 3: are really cool, but by the time the book is

837
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 3: probably published, some new information has came out, a new

838
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 3: term has come out, right, And so it's like I

839
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 3: think podcasts and even social media platforms are just the

840
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 3: easier way to get quick digestible information about a topic

841
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 3: of your choosing.

842
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: Right, And but back to your point, college, she didn't

843
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: have enough to read. I think on Instagram and Instagram page,

844
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: it's probably more for a college student. So I definitely

845
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:04,479
Speaker 1: love that.

846
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 3: You're on Instagram anyway.

847
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: Right, on Instagram anyway, TikTok, Instagram, all of it.

848
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly Where.

849
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: Can we keep up with you? What are your social

850
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,440
Speaker 1: media handles and our website?

851
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 3: Yes, so check me out. My Instagram is a miss

852
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 3: z lotus, So M I S S D E E

853
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 3: L O t U S please follow me tag me

854
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 3: I am a hoots. I think my Instagram is really

855
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 3: me walking in my most authentic self, so please feel

856
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 3: free to follow me. I'm also on LinkedIn if folks

857
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 3: wanted to have a conversation with me around just my

858
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 3: career trajectory, any support that I can provide for anyone

859
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 3: who's interested in the field of sexual reproductive health education.

860
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 3: My name on there is Daniella Thorn. So d is

861
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 3: in dog A n I E l l A. Last

862
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 3: name is Thorn's t isn't tom h O r n E.

863
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,479
Speaker 3: I'm happy to connect with any young person, especially young

864
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 3: black girl that's just trying to be out here. You're

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Speaker 3: making it let's tap girl perfect.

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Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for sharing this with us.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it, Doctor Thorne.

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Speaker 3: Yes, thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure.

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Speaker 1: I want to thank doctor Thorn once again for joining

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Speaker 1: us for this episode. Class is over for now, but

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Speaker 1: not before we assign homework from our conversation today. Take

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Speaker 1: the following notes home with you. Get tested often for

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00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 1: all sdis if you are sexually active, if you identify

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00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 1: as LGBTQI plus, seek out resources with credible organizations like

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00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 1: Planned Parenthood. Be open to exploring what your sexual identity is,

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00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 1: what pleasure means to you and what safe sex practices

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00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: work best for your body. To learn more about the

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00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: work doctor Thorn is doing, or to do more research

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00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,399
Speaker 1: on this topic be short, visit Therapy for Blackgirls dot

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00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 1: com backslash t b g U. This episode was produced

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00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: by Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis, and Zaria Taylor. Editing is

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Speaker 1: by Dennison L.

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Speaker 3: Bradford