WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: Black Hole, by November Rush 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:03.240 Cool Zone Media. 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:12.040 Book Club book Club, book Club book Club. Hello and 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:15.080 welcome to the Coolzone Media book Club, the only book 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:19.759 club that is introduced by me. Going book Club, book Club, 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:20.640 book Club. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.479 This week we're back to fiction, and I have a 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:28.200 little Valentine's treat for you. This is a really fun 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.640 story by a writer named November Rush. Hazel pitched this 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:36.280 story to me as what if Alien The movie was 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:40.280 about the horror of falling in love, and so what 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:45.199 more could you want from Valentine's Day than a story 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:50.320 about falling in love? That is horrible. I will have 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:53.800 seen Wuthering Heights by the time that you hear this, 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:56.480 but I have not seen it yet by the time 0:00:56.520 --> 0:01:01.760 I'm recording it, So I wonder whether it will also 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:07.160 misunderstand stories about love. Anyway, that's entirely unrelated. We are 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:09.679 going to be reading a story called black Hole by 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:13.960 November Rush. It's a weird little space journey through psychedelic, 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:18.240 out of control body horror. It's about parasitic body jumping, 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:22.680 codependent lesbians searching to find each other again, and the 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:27.160 wake of destruction they leave behind them. That sounds like 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:30.200 romance to me. I'm not actually a cynical as I'm 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:33.360 making it sound. This story is from the collection Bury 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:37.440 Your Gaze, an Anthology of tragic queer horror, edited by 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:43.440 Sophia Asram, which Hazel describes as very fucking good. So yeah, 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:47.680 the story's fun. Just trust us here. It is black 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:53.040 Hole by November Rush. Morgan blinks down at her hands, 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:57.320 sluggishly touching her thumbs and fingers together as she tries 0:01:57.360 --> 0:02:01.080 to figure out how an ordinary cinicied plan could cause 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:04.960 a psychedelic effect in a human. The palm of the 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:08.080 hand she's just used to touch the alien plant sample 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.520 is covered with a mist of tiny beads of blood, 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:15.080 as though her flesh is a sponge, as though something 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:18.840 minuscule on the plant has burrowed into her skin and bloodstream, 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:22.720 which seems like a clue, though she's having trouble focusing 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:29.440 on how. Splitting splitting another clue, like a splitting headache, 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:35.119 but more like her head is split. Her mind is split, kaleidoscopic, 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:43.120 fracturing into yes, that's me and actually this is Morgan 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:46.959 attempts to sort through the disjointed foreign images in her mind. 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:50.960 Terror bubbling up from her stomach like bile, and it 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:54.440 occurs to her she may have an increasingly short window 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:58.359 of time. She feels her mouth open and her tongue 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:02.080 run along her teeth, feels the sting as her teeth 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:05.760 close on her lip a little too hard. Something is 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:10.359 trailing up her arms and pulling gently experimentally on the joints, 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:14.600 and she realizes belatedly it's her own fingers, no longer 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:18.760 under her command, and a single idea pierces the fog 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:26.320 of panic. Find void, except Morgan actually wants to alert 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:33.799 Allan and get help, not find void, because she suspects 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:39.440 she is dying. How exactly would one go about alerting 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:44.840 Alan and getting help and not dying a little hard 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.360 to figure out, even if she could control her hands 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:51.040 or make noises. Since she has the overwhelming and bizarre 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:54.160 feeling this is the first time in maybe years, she 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:56.640 has had access to a mind capable of this level 0:03:56.680 --> 0:04:01.960 of intellect. Morgan is intoxicated by the dizzying rush of 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:06.119 unfamiliar memories that her plant and insect bodies can only 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:11.600 comprehend as emotions or maybe temperature warm and safe for 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.320 the times the two of them wait her and who 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:19.880 the void were little furred animals together for the times, 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:23.800 dozing in puddles of light as children or invertebrates, or 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:29.120 bandits cool for waiting in stasis for an opportunity, for 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:32.520 centuries passing, as the tree of her body thrust knobbed 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.920 roots through the soil to lap up nutrients and brush 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:40.280 fronds against the sky, And most of all, the frigid loss, 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:44.600 the grief when they are torn apart, the cold of searching, 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:48.600 searching for the warmth of hoping, the heat of finding 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:54.440 overlaid confusingly with her own short human life, Morgan remembers 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:59.080 the blur of thousands of lives, looping thousands of times 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:04.040 around hun undreds of suns, of knowing so much and 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:07.680 only sometimes having the brain to understand it all. She 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:11.040 sees winding through them all like a vein of gold, 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:17.040 like a fracture void her eyes, her multitude of eyes 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:22.080 that are pale and orange and black, all at different times, 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:26.760 but all void. Her smile, her smiles, the twist of them, 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:31.040 and the way that a serpentine body, or a cartilagineous one, 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.800 or a leaf can smile, can smile with a twist. 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:38.800 Morgan feels her mind's eye fixed hungrily on a pool 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:43.400 of light as the fallible, tactile biology around it, royals, 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:49.839 shaped shifts huge than tiny, scaled than feathered, then vibrant green, 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:54.159 recognizing some of the animals, people, and alien life forms, 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:59.919 but not most. The consistent glow of void recognizable throughout 0:05:59.920 --> 0:06:04.240 her many shapes, perceived by a multitude of sensory organs 0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:09.840 in a jumble of identity, purpose, and form. Moving towards 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.960 void is an instinct that doesn't require a brain at all. 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:16.880 Even a plant knows to turn and face the sun. 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:21.360 The love of Void is unlike anything Morgan has ever felt. 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:24.960 The confusion of her self destructive love for the metamorphizing 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:31.320 void calls an old human story to mind. Okay, so 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:35.400 in retrospect, most of those thoughts probably don't belong to Morgan. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.160 It's been mere seconds, but she's lost control of her body, 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:43.640 worse her brain. Morgan realizes that a foreign consciousness has 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:47.560 dug its tendrils into her mind, her personhood, and is 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:51.640 pressing her down, holding her still as she feebly thrashes 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:55.839 like a fish in the bottom of a rowboat. Taking over. 0:06:56.960 --> 0:07:00.839 Morgan's lungs take a soft, shaky breath, and her throat 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:05.240 constricts a few times, making a noise like which is 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.479 not enough to attract attention, and her mind begins to 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:11.720 blur sideways. It feels a little like being the sinicied 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:15.120 plant sample. Again. With her last strength, she tries to 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:17.800 cling to why it matters whether she was really a 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:21.600 parasitic entity occupying a plant a few moments ago, or 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:25.240 whether she was a human woman named doctor Morgan Christie 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:28.320 who knew how to breathe with her lungs and analyze 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:31.800 a sample of alien fauna, who could use part of 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:35.320 her throat to communicate with other humans in a natural 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:42.440 and unsuspicious way. She fails. Star feels a cautious satisfaction 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:46.920 as the consciousness of doctor Morgan Christie fades to black 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:53.360 and her own consciousness takes over the body completely. Doctor 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:58.720 Christie says, Alan, these first few moments are critical. Star 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:03.160 flicks through Morgan's mead's eyelids fluttering, then discards that idea 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:06.080 and focuses on Morgan's general knowledge of her identity in 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:09.440 the world instead. How would she have appeared to Alan? 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:14.720 Just now, Ah, I've identified something unexpected in the sample, 0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:19.640 she says, place it back in quarantine for me. Was 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:23.800 that enough? Actually? Now that she's here there's only four 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:27.480 other crew members, so there's a one in four chance. 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:32.880 Star dubiously surveys Alan's bland concern and Morgan's knowledge of 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:37.280 this unremarkable man, and shelves that idea. If she knows Void, 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:41.560 and she does, like one hand knows the other, Alan 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:45.000 wouldn't be it. She makes an excuse to him and 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.440 turns from his searching expression, picking up a clipboard and 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:52.840 wincing as unexpectedly light it rises a little too fast 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:57.600 in her clumsy hands. She heads for the door, searching. 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.760 But you, dear listener, don't have to search too hard 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:06.720 yourself in order to find these sweet deals and let 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:12.520 them subsume your personality and destroy it until there is nothing, 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:18.680 nothing but left over. That's all that will be left 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:38.079 of you. Here's ads, and we're back. It's been decades 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:41.360 and hundreds of forms since Star and Void last saw 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:45.560 each other. Star runs through the old signs and signals 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:49.400 they've used in the past, finding them all wanting. She 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.480 considers any possible reason for Morgan to mention to her 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:57.240 crewmates moving water thrice, or to reference the entangled rulers 0:09:57.240 --> 0:10:00.360 of a historic dynasty on a planet that human have 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:05.439 no idea exists. As she walks, she runs Morgan's limited 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:09.280 color vision over the metal and plastic contours of the ship. 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:15.240 Its sterile and artificial. Here, few life forms other than 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.520 the humans, their lab samples, and a little of their food, 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:24.880 barely even a micro organism. It's hostile, with precious few 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:29.599 options should she need to hop Nowhere to shelter, no 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:33.400 where to hide. Star is sure enough that Void is 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.120 wearing someone on the ship that she has bet everything 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:39.680 on it. Once she had received Void's signal, it was 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:43.520 hard enough to coordinate her arrival here, following the movements 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.760 and plans of the ship, occupying just the right animal 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:50.840 or plant, just the right place, waiting dormant and insensible 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.959 for the moisture and bacterial scent of a new life 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:57.079 form to touch her fragile, borrowed body with a porous 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.640 part of their own, or lean close enough to breathe her. 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:05.640 She arrives at the bridge, surveying a crew as close 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:09.640 as family to her body and entirely alien to her mind. 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.560 The captain and first mate are here, two out of four. 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:17.640 She runs through Morgan's knowledge of each of them, scans 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.959 them as subtly as she can for hints, The captain 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:26.679 turns and smiles at her expectantly. The sample from planet 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:29.800 Side turned up some very interesting characteristics that I think 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:33.719 you should know about, Starr says, using Morgan's voice in 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:38.600 Morgan's expertise. She smiles professionally and looks over Captain Jace's 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.440 rigid posture, her hair tidily secure in a dark bun 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:46.480 at the nape of her neck. Power often attracts void, 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:50.680 which she has to admit does make things easier. The 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:54.520 captain is wearing a meticulously maintained squarish jacket in a 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:59.000 light blue sleeves pulled practically back to her elbows, not 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:03.280 part of stand uniform. Could that be anything? She considers, 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:06.760 which alien languages this body's throat and tongue could articulate 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:12.280 through a cough. Star begins to detail her report. She 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.000 considers how long she can draw this out and thinks, 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.600 my hunger for you is teaching me to hate each 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:22.600 one of these beautiful, soft creatures I discover because they 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:26.200 are not you. It takes her more than an hour 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.240 to think of anything to try, and by the time 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:31.320 she does, she's running out of excuses to stay on 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.240 the bridge. Failing to find a natural way to bring 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.480 up any of the old signals. She turns instead to 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:43.280 their one constant change, the malleability and interchangeability of the body. 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:47.840 She could say something like I'm not feeling myself, or 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:51.360 I'd love you as a lion or a swan or 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:55.679 a campfire. What was that story that Morgan had been 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.920 reminded of before her feeble kicking turned a twitching and 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:03.400 stopped altogether? Some elf prince named tam Lee or something. 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:06.120 What does that have to do with her and Void? 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:12.680 Four people on the bridge that doesn't leave mushroom, says 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:17.920 a voice from behind her. That's that's a pun, a 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:21.480 mushroom pun. That's so stupid. God, it's so much better 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:26.120 than what she was going to say. She turns. Void's 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:30.400 expression is carefully neutral, and her eyes shimmering. The corner 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:34.040 of her mouth trembles, just a fraction wanting to smile 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:39.040 before being carefully schooled with a twist of her Void 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:42.679 is in a surprising, fragile body. Her blonde hair is 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.800 greasy at the roots, like she hasn't quite figured out 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.079 how to deal with it, and there is an anxiety 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.560 that has permanently marked her. Peaky face with somewhat the 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:55.520 look of a white lab rabbit. Her uniform hangs awkwardly 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:57.680 on her frame and is afraid at the wrists, where 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:00.240 it looks like she choos it. It's not the kind 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:03.000 of body that Void usually chooses, and she wears it 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:07.480 with a softness. The thrumbs Star's chest with physical pain. 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:12.080 She's wearing a chunky and tasteless beaded necklace that looks 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:15.200 like it was made by a child, and Star's new 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:18.800 heart jitters as she recognizes the colors that harold a 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:22.120 house they once dedicated their lives to as bounty hunters. 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:26.600 And that's not all. Her fraying collar is fraying in 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.800 a very specific way, actually, and the patterns of little 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.880 tears and protruding threads form a world in a language 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:36.520 only spoken several galaxies away, the name of a cult. 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.840 They had found it and became extremely fond of one 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.400 of the only places they'd been accepted and cherished for 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.200 what they truly were to have the divinity of their 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:50.520 changeable flesh acknowledged. And craziest of all, her coveralls are 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.240 unbuttoned to reveal a T shirt with an image of 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:57.160 a fox skull with mushrooms growing out of it. That's 0:14:57.240 --> 0:15:00.760 just two on the nose, there were dicks less. Creature 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:04.000 didn't even have to use her stupid, risky pun because 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.720 she's wearing their lives all over herself, not knowing if 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.600 her transmission had been received or if Star were even 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:14.160 still alive. Void has been sending signals out into an 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:19.280 empty universe on speck on faith. Star Love's are so 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:25.240 goddamn much she could scream. Morgan's memory recognizes the body 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:30.560 Void as wearing Cole the ship's tech. Notably, Cole and 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:34.920 Morgan were friendly, if slightly awkward coworkers and not thousand 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:40.120 year old star crossed lovers. But she's gone speechless. She's staring. 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.280 Priority one needs to be staying safe and not lunging 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.200 across the bridge and finding out what two of these 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.320 warm and lightly furred bodies feel like when they press 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:55.120 against each other. She has to say something chill and normal. Actually, 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:58.320 now that you're here, I'm having issues with the lab processor. 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:01.640 If you could take a look, she manages, and Void 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:05.760 Coal is saying, of course, doctor before she's even finished, 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.640 and she may simply not be able to control Morgan's face. 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:12.840 As they leave the bridge together. She catches a few glances, 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:19.120 and the first mate leans whispering towards the captain. Oh well, 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:22.320 they'll think of a good excuse for this later. Now 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:26.600 that they're finally, finally together again, Star isn't wasting another 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:30.960 moment on catering to expectation. Void leans close to her, 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:35.000 murmuring in the language of these people, finding expression there 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:39.880 so naturally idiot, She says, I would know you anywhere 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:44.600 and anything. The place that Void brings her to is 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.360 hidden enough to do for now, and as they duck 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.880 squeezing into the crawl space beneath the large computer together, 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.800 Star has to agree that the warmth, the hum and 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:58.880 the smallness of it, the darkness punctuated by flickering lights, 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:03.440 is pleasure and comforting. They fold together, finding the parts 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.640 of themselves and each other that are soft or pointed 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:11.119 to lie against. Void drags the translucent scales at the 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.040 ends of her fingers through the mane of hair that 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:18.400 crests Star's head, showing her how the feeling sends prickles 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:23.280 of physical pleasure down Star's scalp and spine. I love it, 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:26.960 she says, I'm like a little you know, those flexible 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:31.439 mammals that live inside, says Star. Comprehends that concept of 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:36.240 housecats and giggles and feels the vibration of laughter bubble 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:40.200 through her for the first time. The combination of Star's 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:44.240 love of Void and Morgan's body's instinct has made her 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:47.359 desperate to touch the pale silver of skin visible at 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:51.960 Void's collar and sleeves, and Void rolls the coveralls back 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:55.520 to allow Star's thumb and index to circle her wrists 0:17:55.640 --> 0:18:00.720 with a gentle craving. There are soft, dark bruises spotting 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:05.879 Void's skin, like she's an over ripe fruit. Morgan's scientist's 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:09.119 mind recognizes the heaviest bruising on the part of the 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:13.000 forearm that must rest against the desk. As Void sits 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:16.919 at the console, she frowns, and Void glances down at 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:21.320 her own arms. That's gotten a bit worse. Void says, Damn, 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:24.720 I was trying to be careful. You're pressing too hard, 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:27.679 I think, says Star. I know, but that's not the 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:30.520 only reason. I dent much easier than when I first 0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:34.439 got the body. Look and Void takes Star's finger and 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.240 grinds it into her own wrists so hard that the 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:40.399 tips of both of their fingers turn white, then rolls 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:44.080 the skin a little between Star's fingers, as though crushing 0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:47.400 a leaf. Sure enough, when Void lets her take her 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:51.320 hand away, a yellowish mark has begun to blossom. The 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:57.280 fragility is hypnotizing malnutrition. Probably, Star says, you have to 0:18:57.320 --> 0:19:00.760 be more careful than this, doesn't it hurt? And Void 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:04.480 nods and shrugs. Star continues, If we're going to find 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:06.040 a way off the ship, we have to make these 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:09.240 bodies last and keep them looking normal. You have to 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:13.159 pay attention to the pain. Don't lecture me, I know, 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:16.439 says Void, rolling her eyes. I was waiting for you. 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:20.520 I'll be more careful now. But Star is still frowning 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:24.000 a little, running through Morgan's memories of coal and noting 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:26.960 how her skin looks a little too tight. Her uniform 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:30.200 fits a little wrong, her eyes are brighter and wider 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.760 than they used to be. This body is already starting 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:37.720 to give. Void is riding it too hard. I mean it, 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.760 says Star. Maybe this could be our shot. We could 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:43.800 live a thousand years among these humans and not run 0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:46.399 out of things to be. And these two are good, 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:50.600 healthy and intelligent. I want to stop running love, and 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:54.800 I want to hop less as little as possible, void 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:58.000 smiles a little. Your sensitivity is part of what I 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:01.440 love about you, she says, I know you hate seeing them. 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:05.000 Empty voids certainly been in coal long enough that the 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:08.440 mind of the sweet and quiet programmer with a surprisingly 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:12.760 wicked streak of humor is gone, forever. Left to her 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:15.760 own whims shall grind the body down to the quick, 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:19.919 shall ride the fraying nervous system as the body deteriorates 0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:23.879 around her, delighting in the mind the sensations, and when 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:28.440 she becomes too obvious or too uncomfortable, shall jump a 0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:33.280 memory bobs to the surface. They had activated queendom, and 0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:36.320 they stayed as long as the fragile and decaying bodies 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:41.480 could disguise them, piloting near corpses, pressing chalky powder to 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:44.679 the skin to hide the rot, filling their chambers with 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:48.720 sickly sweet blooms to mask the smell, the strips of 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:52.439 flesh ribboning away, sending the prickle of impulses through the 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:57.320 nerves and dead meat, the limbs ceasing to function, frantically, 0:20:57.359 --> 0:20:59.639 trying too late to figure out what had gone wrong, 0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:02.480 not being able to reverse the decay that had begun 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:06.119 and Void in her arms at the last, her mouth 0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:10.320 parts black as she smiled, eyes feverish, dragging the husk 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:13.399 of herself to the communicator to summon a page for 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:17.720 the first time in months, asking for strong ones, two 0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:22.439 of them. Ugh, that had been bad. It's not just 0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:25.639 the emptiness I'm worried about, says Star, picking up her 0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:28.760 train of thought. If we leave these bodies anywhere, they'll 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:31.760 identify the traces of us in them. Yeah, they know 0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:35.000 about us. That's bad luck, says Void. There have been 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:39.160 others that got caught. I wonder who. Yes, I want 0:21:39.200 --> 0:21:41.560 to try. Let's live it out. We'll stay on the 0:21:41.600 --> 0:21:44.760 ship and be Morgan and Coal and wait and live 0:21:44.840 --> 0:21:48.080 like real people and rest. We can wait for a 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:53.840 good opportunity. Relief washes over Star. Of course, Star knows 0:21:53.880 --> 0:21:56.560 that even if she tends Morgan's body like a garden, 0:21:56.680 --> 0:21:59.439 learns to be gentle in the right places, uses all 0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:03.480 the systems properly, Morgan's mind and self will still be dead. 0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:07.080 But she is now the keeper of Morgan's memories, and 0:22:07.160 --> 0:22:09.960 she will incorporate them into herself, carry them forward with 0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:13.200 her as a sign of gratitude and respect. That's how 0:22:13.200 --> 0:22:18.040 it should be, how it could be maybe now, and 0:22:18.440 --> 0:22:21.240 says Voyd, There's so much more I want to show you. 0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:25.440 She reaches behind Star fingers, skimming the waistband of her pants, 0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:29.600 and pulls her shirt free. Void's hand finds the heat 0:22:29.640 --> 0:22:33.520 of stars Morgan's skin, and Star shivers in a new way. 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:37.359 They tumble from the humming crush of the crawl space 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:41.240 onto the floor. Star finds herself on her stomach as 0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:45.480 Void's thigh presses between her legs and sparks thrum through 0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:49.679 the length of her. Desire kindles in Star and if 0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:52.720 her lungs feel a little tight a Void is lying 0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:55.399 on her a little too heavy, and her pelvis is 0:22:55.440 --> 0:22:59.439 grinding into the floor too hard, it matters less and less. 0:23:00.320 --> 0:23:04.879 Void Coal's narrow, cold hands slide under Star's clothing completely 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:09.560 and begin to demonstrate what human bodies can do. Void 0:23:09.680 --> 0:23:12.439 rolls the bulk of Coal forward onto Star's neck and 0:23:12.520 --> 0:23:15.480 head and no, okay, now she really can't breathe, and 0:23:15.480 --> 0:23:18.960 that's clearly a problem. Her arms and torso are pinned 0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:22.360 in place, but she rolls her jaw experimentally to the side, 0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:24.800 seeing if it's flexible and strong enough to lift her 0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:28.720 head and create a little space for air. It isn't 0:23:29.359 --> 0:23:32.440 what she realizes at the exact moment, as Void grinds 0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:36.400 down into her heart, lost in her own exploration of sensation. 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:42.000 Terrible timing, that's what it is. Star hears the pop 0:23:42.320 --> 0:23:45.480 and doesn't understand what it means. She dazedly tries to 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:48.399 run her tongue over the inside of her mouth and 0:23:48.520 --> 0:23:51.919 finds that the shape is wrong, the tongue too, and 0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:55.280 in a moment, Morgan's nervous system fires a white explosion 0:23:55.320 --> 0:23:58.920 of pain into her. Something hot is filling her mouth, 0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:01.840 and her cheek is too on the floor. It seems 0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:05.360 wrong that she could break so easily. Her strangled yell 0:24:05.480 --> 0:24:08.520 is choked off. She can't close her mouth or actually 0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:11.399 move it at all. She still can't breathe, and her 0:24:11.400 --> 0:24:14.640 writhing and gargling must read a little too much as pleasure. 0:24:16.040 --> 0:24:19.440 It takes precious seconds until she begins to gag and cough, 0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:23.040 sincerely for Void to catch on to what's happening. Star 0:24:23.119 --> 0:24:26.160 can't blame her. Once lost in pleasure, they often don't 0:24:26.160 --> 0:24:28.560 express it the way that memories of the species they 0:24:28.600 --> 0:24:32.760 occupy would expect. Void bucks off of her and flings 0:24:32.760 --> 0:24:35.880 her onto her back. Ah. Good, now she'll be able 0:24:35.880 --> 0:24:39.040 to breathe and spread Morgan's ribs like a flower in 0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:42.840 the sunlight, creating the vacuum that will fill them with relief. 0:24:43.240 --> 0:24:45.680 But oh no, there isn't any air in her mouth. 0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:48.560 There's that hot liquid which doesn't feel right at all. No, 0:24:48.960 --> 0:24:51.639 that doesn't work. It has to be air. But with 0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:54.560 all this liquid, there isn't mushroom left in her lungs. 0:24:54.600 --> 0:24:58.919 And actually something has gone very wrong. Indeed, a prepper 0:24:59.000 --> 0:25:01.320 human would probably have known not to take such a 0:25:01.400 --> 0:25:06.000 huge and greedy lungful of a non air substance. Her 0:25:06.040 --> 0:25:09.360 face is starting to feel thick. She tries to raise 0:25:09.400 --> 0:25:11.560 a hand to touch it, and watches the hand swim 0:25:11.680 --> 0:25:15.440 helplessly at the corner of her vision, before veering away somewhere. 0:25:16.520 --> 0:25:18.960 As the world begins to blacken at the edges, like 0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:23.080 a love note burning in a grate, star focuses Morgan's 0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:27.359 eyes on the white and purple triangle avoids coal face, 0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:32.760 the terror and panic there looking like starvation. And do 0:25:32.840 --> 0:25:35.280 you know what you can lock onto in your own 0:25:35.359 --> 0:25:38.439 moments of terror and panic? Like a love note burning 0:25:38.560 --> 0:25:42.680 bright against the blazing meaningless void of space and time. 0:25:43.520 --> 0:26:01.520 It ads and we're back, and Jase glances at Mira 0:26:01.680 --> 0:26:06.000 and Alan ready she asks, no skin showing, make sure 0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:09.240 they don't touch you, and don't take off the filtration masks. 0:26:10.440 --> 0:26:13.159 What had been nothing more than a whispered suspicion between 0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:16.720 Jason her first mate, has quickly become a full blown 0:26:16.800 --> 0:26:20.119 rescue operation now that Coal, or the fungal entity that 0:26:20.200 --> 0:26:24.919 is currently controlling her, as disappeared with Morgan, Jace and 0:26:24.960 --> 0:26:28.720 Beira raise their weapons, moving Alan behind them a little, 0:26:29.240 --> 0:26:32.000 and Jace reaches forward and punches the button to open 0:26:32.040 --> 0:26:36.919 the door. The Coal thing crouches over Morgan, knuckles white 0:26:37.160 --> 0:26:40.280 as her fingers dig into the doctor's arms, holding her 0:26:40.280 --> 0:26:43.720 face down above the floor and almost seeming to shake her. 0:26:44.440 --> 0:26:48.680 Morgan's dark hair falls forward limply, and a long red 0:26:48.800 --> 0:26:52.399 drool of blood connects her unseen face to the dark 0:26:52.440 --> 0:26:56.720 puddle on the floor. Jiggling and swaying as she hacks 0:26:56.960 --> 0:27:01.520