1 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: We have to go into the fact that I did 2 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: a zoom from my daughter's school and the pronouns conversation 3 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 1: with each teacher, each parent, each child, and my daughter 4 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: says in school too that everybody has to say their pronouns. 5 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 1: So and my daughter don't even know what hers were. 6 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: And I can't even blame you. I know what I 7 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: am or what I think I am, but like I 8 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: never have said it out loud, I don't. It hasn't 9 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: come up for me. And so she didn't know. She 10 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: said someone exactly had to say it, someone said it 11 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: before her, because someone's parents definitely told them. So there 12 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: are these crazy stories about these camps. This summer summer 13 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 1: Camp went fucking crazy this summer. So either it was 14 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: the pandemic or everybody meaning everybody being politically correct, it 15 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: was the pandemic or politically correctness, or it just happened 16 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: to be the craziest year in camp history. So my 17 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: daughter doesn't go to camp in the Hampton's Um. I 18 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: canceled for this too. It's a primarily Jewish sport. This 19 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: send your kid away for the whole summer to camp. 20 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: It's a primary it's it's people other people go to camps, 21 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,400 Speaker 1: but like people looking at you like something's sucking wrong 22 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: with you that your kids? Where is she going this summer? 23 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I can't, mommy, what I can't wait 24 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: to ship my kids off of the whole. So what 25 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 1: I guess you can't, mommy. We go weakeboarding, we go surfing. 26 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: This is a very very revolutionary, drastic And he's laughing 27 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 1: because and he works for your Jewish Annie, And right, 28 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:42,680 Speaker 1: you go to camp? Annie, Yeah, a teeniorsot to camp. 29 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,039 Speaker 1: Did you has you ever met a Jew that is 30 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: of some means that hasn't got that has not other 31 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: kids going to camp? Never? No, it's just like it's 32 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: a Jewish. It's weird. People think, yeah, right, So the 33 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: fact that my mother, they'll think it's genetic. My mother 34 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: came from a Catholic family and converted. And I'm not religious, 35 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: but people, you know, if you're Jewish, it's just it's 36 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: a write of passage. Okay. So all the Jews in 37 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: the Hampton's are on this like list than email list. 38 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: It's either like a thread or they all are on 39 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,639 Speaker 1: some chain and people are on there who their kids 40 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: don't even go to these camps. But like every jew 41 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: emails each other and knows about what's going on all 42 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: the camps. And there are different ones, like there's one 43 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: called Racket Lake and one that was called like Tyler Hill. 44 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: Are they still all around? Which one did you get 45 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 1: when knock trails? And these are like brand these are 46 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: brand names. Is I just had like Louis Uttan product Gucci? 47 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: These are like brand name KM one was like tennis something. 48 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: So this summer, these these these emails were flying. Okay. 49 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: One of the emails said that, And some of it's 50 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: just gossip because there's a lot of liability, so the 51 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 1: parents are putting it on their own emails. It's not 52 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 1: like a blast from Camp Central. This is like parents 53 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: emailing each other. So the first story, and these are 54 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: all true stories. It's they've all been vetted. There are 55 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: all the all the camps are freaking out. The first story. 56 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: One one issue that occurred was it's an all girls 57 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: camp and a person with a penis who identifies as 58 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: being a girl went to the camp and was in 59 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 1: the bunk with the girls, and the girls saw her. 60 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: Because it's hard because it's a it's a it's a 61 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: male anatomy. But in identifying as a woman. So the 62 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: so the girl other girls saw a penis and they're like, 63 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 1: you know, years old. So the parents obviously or not obviously, 64 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: But then why could you see a vagina? I don't know. Okay, 65 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: so the parents obviously weren't that um happy. And then 66 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: and I don't know why this is different because I 67 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: don't we hadn't heard about it that much. But this 68 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: girl with with a penis was making out with a 69 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 1: lot of the different girls at the camp. So that 70 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: was the first story that happened, like things you don't 71 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: necessarily think of. Okay, A separate story just about crazy 72 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: camp stuff. Was there was somebody that having nothing to 73 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: do with sexuality, was it was? It was it was 74 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: a tickler, like tickling all the different kids, and that 75 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: person got sent home. And then there was one where 76 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 1: there was like a hole in the bunk and they 77 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: were there was a peaker. And then this is my 78 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: personal favorite, So they send home emails when you're at 79 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 1: camp and they say, um, you know, we did a 80 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,239 Speaker 1: camp a bonfire that you know, color war. Everything's going great, 81 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: this happened, we all had this experience. This happened, the 82 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 1: other thing happened, etcetera, and yeah, and by the and also, um, 83 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: three of the kids went out to go get wood 84 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 1: for the bonfire and they came upon a dead body. 85 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 1: So in one of the camps there was like an 86 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 1: engineer or somebody that took their own life very very 87 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: sad obviously, and three of the kids went in like 88 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: stand by me fashion and found a body. So camp 89 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: was lit this summer. But it's an interesting conversation about 90 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:03,839 Speaker 1: a girl a female anatomy being in a male anatomy 91 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,919 Speaker 1: bunk or vice versa. Okay, so that's a conversation. And 92 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: they're talking a lot about sports now, and how is 93 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: it fair if you're on a team and somebody with 94 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: a male anatomy who identifies as being a woman is playing, 95 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: And is that fair? And how can you balance out 96 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: a lot of people, don't you know? Because there are 97 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: I think there's um like studies that the least uh 98 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: proficient male is still often stronger or vest or what 99 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: have you male anatomy than the most proficient female. I said, 100 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: what they can maybe um level the playing field, like 101 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: find somebody to be in that same situation to play 102 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: on the other side, or some way to do it, 103 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: or you know, there's way there are ways too great 104 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,119 Speaker 1: on a curve or things like that. So what about 105 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: that conversation? And then you know, I was thinking the 106 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: other day about this is to be honest, I have um, 107 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: I have a mail driver, and I was thinking, and 108 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: my girl up, my assistance will sometimes if I have 109 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 1: to go run and do something, they'll stay with Brenn 110 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: for a minute, or they'll meet her downstairs when she 111 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: does a transfer back from her dad. Um, I don't know. 112 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,599 Speaker 1: I don't have a nanny. I've never had a nanny, 113 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: so you know, and I don't never scared. I've never 114 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 1: had a babysitter either, So people around me will help me. 115 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: And um my driver will drive bryn to school sometimes 116 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: or back to her dad's uh without me in the car. 117 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: So I was thinking the other day about, and this 118 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,280 Speaker 1: has been in the past two if Albie was a driver, 119 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 1: we had the Britain love. She loves all DEMI driver. 120 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: So I was thinking about if I was going out 121 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: one night and if he could stay with her if 122 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: I had to just run and go do something. And 123 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 1: I thought, well, my ex might say something, would say 124 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: something like, oh, she shouldn't be because he said in 125 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: the past wouldn't shouldn't be alone with you know, quote 126 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: unquote a strange man or you know, but then why 127 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 1: can she be alone with a woman? Like that's something 128 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: no one really talks about. And that happens also in 129 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: office is where men my Dennis, my ex fiance, has 130 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: a rule that he wouldn't be in an office alone 131 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: with a woman if the door weren't open because of 132 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: me too and all that stuff, and people say that 133 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: about elevators. But now it's gonna to change just to 134 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: be a person. Why why is it just a woman? 135 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: Because that's sexist to say that. God, a man could 136 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: be with my daughter, but not a woman. Right, So 137 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: that's one interesting thing that's crazy. And then you know, 138 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: everybody's giving their pronouns and the next thing you know 139 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: that's gonna be you're gonna be like, I don't I 140 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: don't pronoun I don't I I don't want to tell 141 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: you that that's it's private information. Like everything is so 142 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: rule based and people don't know exactly how to follow 143 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 1: the rules that you know, anything could you could say 144 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: anything too though you could say, and this is the 145 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: controversial conversation, I'm fully okay with it, but you could say, 146 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to say my sexuality, that's not relevant 147 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: to anything. Why does that have to be something that 148 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: we tell everybody? Um also, you know with the bathrooms 149 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: at schools changing and all that, which is great. But 150 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: the truth the thing, the interesting thing about this is 151 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: the age when so my daughter's age, what happens if 152 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 1: there's a child who isn't ready to make that decision? 153 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: So don't a lot of girls in college or not 154 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: even a college, high school college, don't a lot of 155 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: girls in college have a lesbian phase but then they 156 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: realize that they're not. Maybe they're going through something, maybe 157 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: they want attention, maybe they go through a bad a 158 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: bad breakup. And how what is the age that someone's 159 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: absolutely positive who they are? There's got to be gray area, 160 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: Meaning there are some children that know exactly who they are. 161 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: They identify as a boy, they identify as a girl, 162 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,839 Speaker 1: they may have male anatomy, they their parents know for sure. 163 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,319 Speaker 1: But then aren't there some kids that in high school 164 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: and college make that decision. And I've heard literally hard 165 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 1: of situations where then they sort of unmake that decision. So, 166 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: if you're a person who's for a period of time 167 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: identifying with being a girl and you're a boy, and 168 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: then you know, you decide to switch that back. I 169 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,080 Speaker 1: mean you're not going through any sort of surgery in 170 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 1: that case what I'm talking about, But I just mean 171 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: you're more comfortable like that, and then you decide to 172 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: switch back, Like, what does that mean for that camp? 173 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: What does that mean for that bunk that there's a 174 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: person with a penis and maybe a mother isn't ready 175 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 1: for her child to see a penis in the bunk 176 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: and understand that the person identifies as being um a girl. 177 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 1: Because my daughter understands all of this. I mean she's 178 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 1: you know, it's amazing. They have different language, different understandings. 179 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:29,199 Speaker 1: But she's also hasn't seen a penis, you know, and 180 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 1: so in a camp she would have would see girl parts. 181 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 1: So I just think these conversations are also fluid. So 182 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: I want to hear what you guys all think. What 183 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 1: do you think you you all on the on this 184 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: on this podcast, my team, my producers, did I explain 185 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,559 Speaker 1: all that right? It was a confusing or like, explain 186 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: my feelings right that I seem like I have any specific, 187 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 1: uh point of view on it, because I it's just 188 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 1: a conversation. I don't actually necessarily, I just we was 189 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 1: talking about it at dinner last night. Yeah, it definitely 190 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,040 Speaker 1: seems like you are more opening the converse station and 191 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,440 Speaker 1: then coming in with a strong point of view on 192 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: what you think. The the answers are necessarily Yeah, what 193 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 1: do you think? What do you think about it? Um? 194 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: You know, I'm very active in trans inclusion in sports 195 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: and things like that. I think, especially at young ages, 196 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: you know, inclusion is all that really matters as far 197 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: as helping young people be fully fulfilled UM versus winning. Yeah, definitely. 198 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: You know, building billion a child's morale is going to 199 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: be the most important thing over the team winning because 200 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: they feel like there's an advantage. There's also a very 201 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: uh like a lot of those studies, like there's not 202 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: a ton of studies to prove that especially at young ages, 203 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: kids have that much of an advantage based on anatomy 204 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 1: at that point. Okay, so what about when they what 205 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: about older? What about high school? When people are what 206 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: about when they're drafting kids for like you know, like 207 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 1: Friday night lights stuff for football and matt it matters 208 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: what colleges think and the winning and losing do do matter? 209 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,839 Speaker 1: So what do you think about my idea of you know, 210 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: grading on a car car EV which is crazy for 211 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: like professional sports, or stack the deck so that there's 212 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 1: a situation where both teams, but you can't control that, 213 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: I guess because you can't control other schools do It's 214 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: I think it's a complicated issue. You have to admit 215 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: that now, Yeah, definitely. I mean I think a large 216 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: for the conversation too, is like what is an advantage? 217 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: You know, like people bring up Michael Phelps a lot 218 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: um is height in basketball and advantage. So it's like, okay, sorry, 219 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:28,440 Speaker 1: you're too tall to place. Okay, I like that. So 220 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: it's kind of like, what, what's even an advantage? So 221 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: that's kind of a conversation that I've seen around it 222 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:37,079 Speaker 1: a lot interesting what is an advantage? Well, but there 223 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: are differences between men and women, even they say in 224 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 1: left and right brain, I mean, there are physical differences. 225 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 1: We can't say that every single thing is going to 226 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: be exactly the same, do you know what I mean? Totally? 227 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: So then it's like that kind of opens up in 228 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: what is competition? Like, what's the goal of competition if 229 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: there's always gonna be some advantage somewhere. Then I understand 230 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: that's a very interesting thing. What if you're smarter and 231 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: you're just smartest, you have better tagtical decision making on 232 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,439 Speaker 1: a field. I get why it's such a What do 233 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: you think about the the the bunk A male anatomy 234 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: person in that bunk. Yeah, it's interesting because, like you said, 235 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,199 Speaker 1: some of the parents are freaking out, but it sounds 236 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: like your daughter like kind of knew the words and 237 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 1: kind of was like familiar already. So I'm wondering how 238 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: much do you feel like it's parents overreacting in their 239 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: kids behalf but they're kind of ready for those conversations, 240 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: or do you feel like not they're not ready? I 241 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: mean no, because because because a penis often goes into 242 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: a vagina, I think so they might not want that 243 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: sort of you know, visual so that soon, you know 244 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: what I mean, like that idea, I think, I mean, 245 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: it's it's super it's it's it's changing a whole construct 246 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 1: of how people think. So if somebody identifies as being 247 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,679 Speaker 1: a girl and is in a bunk and has a penis, 248 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 1: I think I understand why it's going to be jarring, 249 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: But I also under stand how much turmoil for that 250 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 1: poor child who is going to have to feel that 251 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 1: like they don't know where they belong. That is horrible, 252 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 1: like that feeling, you know what I mean. So that's 253 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 1: the point everyone. They have to have a place to 254 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: go to go to the bathroom and feel safe and comfortable. 255 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 1: That just has to be a discussion. And what if 256 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: there are no other kids in that situation. I guess 257 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: if I I were a parent, I would want my 258 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: child to go to another camp where there were kids 259 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: in the same situation, or I would do Camp Mommy 260 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 1: like I do, Like I would not every you know 261 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,080 Speaker 1: what I mean, Not every situation is set up to 262 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 1: make somebody thrive. I mean, I know people who won't 263 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 1: send their children to really very athletic schools because they're 264 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:47,720 Speaker 1: a little more quote unquote alt or quote unquote you know, nerdy, 265 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 1: like whatever that word means, you know what I'm saying, 266 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: but like just not not jocks. So they're not going 267 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 1: to send them to these schools that are primarily jocks 268 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: because they're not gonna They're gonna set them up for 269 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: not feeling safe and successful. So I think parents have 270 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 1: to do the job of making your kid feel safe. 271 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 1: You can't just put you can't just because you can't 272 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: make every situation fit. I think that I think that's 273 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: what I think. I think I would. I'm always going 274 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: to try to set up my daughter for where she's 275 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: going to thrive. And I don't think I like that 276 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: the camp. But the camp didn't think it through. I 277 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: guess if that ever happened, I don't know. Maybe they 278 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 1: didn't think someone would see their anatomy and then that 279 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: would be the thing. I guess that's the rule. No 280 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 1: one shows their anatomy females or or males. That one 281 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: was a counselor. The counselor was identified as being a girl. Oh, 282 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: I did hear that. I'm mixing the two stories. Okay, 283 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: so that was a point of a camper too, because 284 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: it could happen. Yeah, that could happen for a camper. 285 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: But that's true. It was a counselor, but it was 286 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: this There was also, I'm not the counselor. The kid 287 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 1: was a male anatomy child making out with female anatomy child. 288 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: That was the thing the parents were writing about. But 289 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: then separately, there was a counselor that was in the 290 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 1: girls um bunk and and they saw the counselor's anatomies, 291 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 1: and now that's an older counselor, so then that's like 292 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:09,479 Speaker 1: sort of that's that's a problem, Like that's that's not okay. 293 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: So it's very interesting. It's a very interesting conversation. And 294 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: I feel like that would be where no one can 295 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 1: no one's allowed to show their anatomy. It doesn't matter 296 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: what you identify as or who you identify as. Candice 297 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: Bushnell is my guest today. She is an international best 298 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 1: selling author with three TV shows based on her work, 299 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: including of Course, Sex and the City. She's been writing 300 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 1: professionally since she was just nineteen and talks to me 301 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: about the passion it takes to make it as a writer. 302 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: We discussed New York and how it's shaped our lives 303 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: and her work, and what drove her to write and 304 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: star in her new one person show, Is There Still 305 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: Sex in the City. She's so fascinating, so honest, so 306 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 1: new York and so real. I know you're going to 307 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: love this one. So you grew up in Connecticut? Correct, Yes, okay, 308 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: I did, but you know I came to New York 309 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: when I was actually eighteen. I pretty much I did, 310 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 1: but a lot of people do I ran away from college? 311 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: Did you um come from humble means middle class? What 312 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: was the financial situation in your home? It was a 313 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: middle class family, you know in Connecticut, the suburbs. You know, 314 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: I think the people felt that, you know, in those 315 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 1: days middle class, A lot of middle class people felt 316 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: like they were upper middle class. You know, there was 317 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 1: a lot less income disparity back then. It kind of 318 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: felt like everybody was the same. I mean we didn't 319 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: have you know, there weren't people who were like living 320 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 1: in mansions. There were people who had family money. Um. 321 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 1: But because I didn't grow up in Greenwich or a 322 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 1: place like that where people were working in New York City, 323 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: it kind of felt like everybody was pretty much the same. 324 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 1: You know, everybody wore eesa left cost shirts. It was 325 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: a very losty old New England town um where people 326 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:20,399 Speaker 1: really valued being Yankees. You know, everybody was modest. You 327 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,959 Speaker 1: don't talk about money. It was considered very declasse to 328 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,640 Speaker 1: talk about money. So it doesn't sound like you wanted 329 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 1: for anything. But there were definitely dreams of aspiration, meaning 330 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,120 Speaker 1: there was definitely some place to go to sore So 331 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:41,680 Speaker 1: what was your parents were together? Yes, until my mother died. 332 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, So did they instill in you a 333 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,399 Speaker 1: work ethic? What was the relationship to success and work 334 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:52,639 Speaker 1: and striving in your house? I think the one thing 335 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 1: that my parents never I had two younger sisters and 336 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: they never you know, they never talked about getting married 337 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,679 Speaker 1: and having kids. That was something that that you know, 338 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: I wasn't talked about. It wasn't encouraged. We didn't know 339 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 1: how to I have two younger sisters, no brothers. I 340 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: don't even think I really talked to a guy until 341 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: I went to college, so I have a very little 342 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:28,399 Speaker 1: experienced with men. My father was a genius, invented the 343 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 1: fuel cell the east in the first of follow space rocket, 344 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: So being smart was really really important somehow, you know. 345 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 1: There was a lot of pressure to do something, but 346 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:47,120 Speaker 1: no instructions on how to do it, no help on 347 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: how to do it. It was really about you know, 348 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: in those days, I remember my father saying, you know, 349 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 1: when you turn it too and you're gonna be cut off. 350 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: So if you want to figure out a good way 351 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 1: for your for your kids run away from college, tell 352 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: them they're getting cut off at a team. So they 353 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 1: were very much instilling a work ethic and don't rely 354 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 1: on a man, which is so interesting to me because 355 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 1: of your trajectory. That's why I asked these questions because 356 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,199 Speaker 1: often people who are now successful, raising our kids is 357 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,400 Speaker 1: more challenging than we didn't have anything. Um, So you're 358 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: saying that that was really instilled, and that's come through 359 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: in your work completely. Like, does not seem like you 360 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,359 Speaker 1: ever really even thought about a man rescuing you, saving you, 361 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,439 Speaker 1: being your prince charming. It seems like you wanted to 362 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: do it on your own. I did. It's a lot 363 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: harder to do it on your own, do you know 364 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 1: very well? But very few women have made the kind 365 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: of money you've made. Very few. Is it harder? I 366 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: think it would have been harder to meet someone and 367 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: wait for them to give me what I wanted and 368 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,119 Speaker 1: have to ask permission and have someone else control the 369 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 1: purse strings. That's something I've never even understood. How you 370 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 1: do that? That's the problem. I mean, that's the problem. 371 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: It's like, I mean, you know, you live, you've lived 372 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,199 Speaker 1: in New York. You know there's a whole you know, 373 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,239 Speaker 1: there's a huge group of women who come to New 374 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: York who were looking for the rich husband, And I mean, 375 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,200 Speaker 1: if you're looking for rich husband, New York is one 376 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: of the places you come, and they know how to 377 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:23,919 Speaker 1: manage that negotiate that they're pros. But I do see, 378 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: you know, I mean, I see women who have been 379 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 1: married to very rich men end up with you know, 380 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: five million dollars, twenty millions. I understand what you're saying, 381 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: but I think if you marry for money, you pay 382 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 1: for the rest of your life in some way. So 383 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: that's just a concept. I totally agree. You are married 384 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,159 Speaker 1: for how many years now, I'm divorced. I was married 385 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 1: for ten years, so I I consider that to be 386 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 1: a successful relationship. I do too. I mean, I think, 387 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 1: you know, there's all different kinds of successful relationships. And 388 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,560 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, as time goes on, I think, 389 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:19,159 Speaker 1: you know, some relationships are just not meant to last forever. 390 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,640 Speaker 1: And I think that, you know, as people live longer, 391 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 1: they're gonna be sections of time when you know you're 392 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,919 Speaker 1: with someone, you maybe with somebody who you raise a 393 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,400 Speaker 1: child with, and then you don't stay together, and then 394 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: maybe you're with somebody else. So I think we're gonna 395 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: have different stages in our lives as women. There will 396 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,399 Speaker 1: be times when you're gonna be single. That's a construct. 397 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,439 Speaker 1: So it's interesting you just are talking about something that 398 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:44,879 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be bad. It could still have been 399 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 1: a successful relationship. It just was gonna devolve based on 400 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,119 Speaker 1: who you both were becoming or became, is what I 401 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,520 Speaker 1: think you're saying, right, you know, and it also depends on, 402 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: you know, where people are in their lives. My husband 403 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 1: was ten years younger, and you know, I mean when 404 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 1: my mother died. These kinds of things can really change 405 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 1: relationships too. You know, if there's an emotional blow and 406 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 1: you know, one person can kind of lose their footing, 407 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:20,199 Speaker 1: and sometimes the other person is just not emotionally and 408 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: psychically able to help them through that because it takes 409 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 1: a lot, It takes a lot of It takes a lot, 410 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 1: you know, I think, you know, I think that being 411 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 1: married takes a lot of emotional maturity, probably more than 412 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 1: most people have. You know. Then on top of that, 413 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 1: having a child, you know, you need to grown ups 414 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,399 Speaker 1: in a relationship, I think, to have to raise a child, 415 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 1: and often you've got one, usually the woman. That's so 416 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 1: interesting what you're saying. It's true, both people have to 417 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 1: be really up to the task. Not everybody based on 418 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: what we all come into this life with our own 419 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,200 Speaker 1: baggage or own family, our own history. Not everybody's always 420 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,479 Speaker 1: up to the task. Not everybody wants to workshop everything. 421 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: You have to work it, and not evon always wants 422 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: to work. Sometimes people just you know, give up and 423 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: let go of the rope. I think that's interesting, and 424 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's a failure. I mean that's I 425 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: think that's very interesting. So what is your writing process 426 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 1: and how has it changed? Well, first of all, I 427 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: started writing professionally when I was nineteen. I'm completely mystified 428 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,440 Speaker 1: by you know, people who say like, oh, I want 429 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: to write a book, and I've never written a book before, 430 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: you know, I mean, to me, writing is a very 431 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 1: different thing. To me, writing is like being an actress. 432 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: It's like being a violentist. It's that's who you are. 433 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 1: It's something that you're born doing. It's something that it 434 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:51,440 Speaker 1: comes deep within. And when I was younger, I really 435 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 1: felt like I am going to die if I am 436 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,360 Speaker 1: not a writer. Less than that, people with less passion 437 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,360 Speaker 1: than that is like, I don't really get it. Why 438 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,200 Speaker 1: would you want to write a book. I'm just for money? 439 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:05,640 Speaker 1: I guess writing is not a money making thing. That's 440 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,719 Speaker 1: what I don't understand. It's really it's a passion and 441 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: it's something that you feel like if you don't do it, 442 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: you're gonna die. And that was pretty much how I 443 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:22,479 Speaker 1: felt all through, you know. I mean, I knew I 444 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: was going to be a writer when I was eight, 445 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: and that's really what carried me through, you know, my twenties, 446 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: not making any money, really struggling writing for women's magazines. 447 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: I mean, now that I'm doing the show, I just 448 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,719 Speaker 1: I think, you know, there's just so many easier ways 449 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 1: to make money, like probably being an actor, right, you know, 450 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: I mean, writing a book is lonely, it's tedious, it's 451 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 1: extremely time consuming. You know. For me, when I'm writing 452 00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:00,119 Speaker 1: a book, I'm writing, I might write ten pages a day. 453 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: I am not seeing anybody for about ten days, and 454 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 1: I have a really, really disciplined schedule, so it's you know, 455 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,159 Speaker 1: it's not a side job for me. You have to 456 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,159 Speaker 1: not only be a person who wants to be a 457 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 1: writer and knows how to express themselves and feel, but 458 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:26,040 Speaker 1: who also is grammatically able, because nobody I know can 459 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 1: write an email, nobody can spell, and nobody can communicate. 460 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I I correct everybody's everything. So that's the 461 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: only reason probably that I can write books, because if 462 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 1: I have a thought, I can communicate it in a 463 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: very streamlined way. But it's not in your god given 464 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: talent way, in my opinion, So I'm find that very 465 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 1: interesting what you're talking about, your natural boy. I don't. 466 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:52,719 Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, I'm right, because I find human 467 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:59,919 Speaker 1: beings fascinating and all. And it's like, I'm kind of 468 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,200 Speaker 1: like a medium. I have been ever since I was 469 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,199 Speaker 1: a kid. I can really get into people's heads and 470 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:12,200 Speaker 1: like feel what they're feeling. And you know, I don't 471 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,199 Speaker 1: write a book because I'm trying to get a message 472 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,919 Speaker 1: across you. Because this is fiction too. It's not like 473 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: a prescriptive. It's fiction. It's fantasy. I'm creating characters and 474 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 1: then I'm following the characters. The characters take over. You know. 475 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:34,360 Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's a work of imagination, and it's 476 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 1: really about being in your head and literally being in 477 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:45,720 Speaker 1: a different world, like being in this world, but really 478 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: being in the world in your head and capturing that. 479 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 1: It's a very different thing. And you read a lot. 480 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,320 Speaker 1: I used to. I mean that, you know. That's the 481 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 1: other aspect of this is that I used to read 482 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:05,280 Speaker 1: a ton. Now I feel like I'm just addicted to 483 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,400 Speaker 1: my goddamn phone. If you're not reading, you're probably writing, right, 484 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: I mean, right now I'm not writing because I'm working 485 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,720 Speaker 1: on the One woman show. Is there's still sex in 486 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 1: the city. Um, Normally I'm writing six days a week 487 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 1: and probably for five or six hours a day. Um. 488 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 1: That is a discipline. It's disciplined. That is a discipline. 489 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: That's amazing. It doesn't give you time for a lot 490 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: of other things. And you know, I mean I gave 491 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,680 Speaker 1: up going out a lot too. Sounds satisfying though, And 492 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 1: the pandemic was probably the craziest time of your whole life, 493 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 1: like you probably probably poured out of you. Everybody's life 494 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,959 Speaker 1: during the pandemic was pretty much my life all the time, 495 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 1: you know, not going out, not seeing a lot of 496 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 1: people working at home, not putting on the TV. But 497 00:27:55,200 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 1: it was such an unsettled time that I wasn't exactly 498 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: sure what to write about your success when it popped off, 499 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 1: Like what tell me about that story you were doing 500 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 1: what you couldn't pay your rent? Like what was that arc. Like, 501 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:17,719 Speaker 1: I think what it's really about is finding your voice 502 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 1: and finding your style, what you write about, your point 503 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: of view, how you look at the world, and then 504 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,280 Speaker 1: being able to take what's in your head and get 505 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 1: that onto the page. That's really the hardest part. It's like, 506 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: you know, it's like playing an instrument. It's like playing 507 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 1: the violin. You know, at first you practice everybody else's music, 508 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: and you know, you learn how to actually do it 509 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: put words together. So from all of my twenties, I 510 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:57,320 Speaker 1: was really writing the precursors in a sense of what 511 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 1: would become Sex in the City. Okay, I was writing 512 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 1: about women in New York, women, my friends, me, our relationships, society. 513 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 1: What's it like as a you know, woman with the 514 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:22,000 Speaker 1: pressures to have a career, find a relationship. And you know, 515 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,479 Speaker 1: I just kept doing it, and eventually it's like the 516 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 1: outside world kind of intersected with my ambitions. You know. 517 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: I got an opportunity to albacolumn in the New York Observer, 518 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: and I knew exactly what to do because I've been 519 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: doing it for so long. And so then you get 520 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,280 Speaker 1: yourself in the right place at the right time, and 521 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 1: you become successful. Maybe if I had written you know, 522 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: if I had different breaks, uh, when I was in 523 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 1: my twenties, if I come from a wealthy family that 524 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,520 Speaker 1: accorded me where I could just have written books. When 525 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 1: I was nineteen, I wrote a children's book. Um, and 526 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:13,920 Speaker 1: I thought, I am just gonna write novels. And but 527 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 1: you can't do that unless you have family money, unless 528 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: you have the right connections, unless you went to an 529 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 1: Ivy League school. Uh. You know, all of that stuff 530 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: takes connections, and I didn't have any connections. Did you 531 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: get really into it? You're like, oh my god, this 532 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 1: is it. I'm I'm somebody. I mean, it doesn't sound 533 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 1: like you were like that, but were you like that? 534 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: You know, it might be that I've always felt like 535 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 1: I am somebody. Um, I think you know, New York 536 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 1: is definitely a place where people come to make it, 537 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 1: and I definitely came here to make it and hopefully 538 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 1: to be who I was supposed to be, and know 539 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,840 Speaker 1: I'm who I am supposed to be. But in terms 540 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: of you know, look, New York is a place. It's 541 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 1: all about status and it's all about pecking order. We 542 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: see that at the met Ball Who's going who isn't 543 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 1: I went once when I was with the real Mr 544 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: big Um, And you know, New York is that's what 545 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 1: it's about. Do you care? Do you care that you 546 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: didn't go to the met Ball? Not really? Do you know? 547 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 1: Like yes, in a sense that I would love to 548 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 1: see if I could do it and nail it and 549 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 1: land it. But that's just who I am as a 550 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: person as just for myself, nothing to do with I 551 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 1: don't care what people think of me. I don't care 552 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 1: about the press or any of that stuff. That's just 553 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: not me. And you know, and New York is a 554 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,640 Speaker 1: place where you know, there's certain you know, people that 555 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: you can hang out with and be a part of 556 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: if you want to adopt the same kind of attitudes 557 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:55,960 Speaker 1: that they have. And it's like, you know, I mean, 558 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 1: I've been in situations where people are like, oh, if 559 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: you start up to this person, you know they can 560 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: do your lot of favors. It's like, I'm not sucking 561 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 1: up to anybody. That's truly what you just said is 562 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: really the real New York. What you were talking about 563 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: is the bullshit New York and most of those people 564 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 1: the Emperor has no clothes when you meet them there morons, 565 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 1: they're crazy, they're whack jobs, they're just all image. They're frosting. 566 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 1: There's no cake like And that's one of the realities 567 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 1: about New York. I mean, they're just I mean, there's 568 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,479 Speaker 1: so many decisions and people do so many things that 569 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 1: are just horrible and it's just business. And so you 570 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,920 Speaker 1: really have to have a tough skin here. And you know, 571 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:38,480 Speaker 1: there's certain people who it's like, Okay, they're famous or whatever, 572 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 1: but do you really want to hang out with them. 573 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 1: It's nice to have arrived so you don't have to 574 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 1: go anywhere anymore. But now maybe because it's after the 575 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,600 Speaker 1: pandemic or whatever, but now I'm like, I want to 576 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,200 Speaker 1: go out. It's so funny me too. That's why I 577 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,040 Speaker 1: last night, look because you want to get dressed up 578 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,720 Speaker 1: and do something and I'm not like that at all. 579 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 1: That's exactly it. And you know, I mean, that's really 580 00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,400 Speaker 1: one of the reasons why I'm doing the show at 581 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: the Darryll Row Theater is it's like coming to my 582 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: living room. It's like gathering a whole bunch of girlfriends. 583 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,480 Speaker 1: I'm with your girlfriends. We're gonna have a good time. 584 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 1: And I feel like That's that's what I'm really looking for. 585 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, well I love that. Um what 586 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 1: do you think about in your city? What do you 587 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: think about New York? Do you still have this love 588 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 1: affair with New York? Do you love it the same 589 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 1: way you always did? I mean, as one gets older 590 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 1: and one matures, certain things fall away. Um. You know, 591 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 1: when I was younger, everything is so magnified. Every little 592 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 1: detail is so important. When you get older, you can't 593 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: even see that. Well, you know, I can't even tell 594 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,240 Speaker 1: the difference between a fake Chanelle bag in a real one. 595 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: You know why haven't so I don't care. But you're young. 596 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 1: It's like you're you know, having the right hand bag 597 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 1: is so important, and and you know, going to the 598 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:04,400 Speaker 1: right parties and getting in and you know, also I 599 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:08,319 Speaker 1: was in New York when in the late seventies went 600 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: Studio fifty four, the eighties, the nineties. New York was 601 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:17,959 Speaker 1: all about going out, I know. And that was part 602 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: of business too. That was business to succeeding at that 603 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:24,400 Speaker 1: and it was the theater of New York. It was 604 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,160 Speaker 1: the you know, you go to a restaurant, you see 605 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: four people you know, and you you know, your your 606 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 1: your network, and and you know, it was that excitement 607 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:41,880 Speaker 1: of things are happening all the time. And but that's 608 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 1: how it is when you're young. Now, is that Williamsburg 609 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: Brooklyn with you know, twentysomethings were going out to clubs? 610 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:54,280 Speaker 1: It probably is. Is it gonna happen being a six 611 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 1: year old woman? I don't know what it is when 612 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 1: you have no hormones. You look at the world differently, right, 613 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:08,200 Speaker 1: that it's much better. Actually, that's very very funny. But 614 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:13,440 Speaker 1: so I think it's more about a mastery. But you know, 615 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 1: I do still love New York. It doesn't feel like 616 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 1: it's as exciting as it used to be. But that 617 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,600 Speaker 1: could just be because of my age. I don't think so. 618 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,440 Speaker 1: I know, I think about that sing. I think she's 619 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,200 Speaker 1: taken a hit. I mean, like to me, I mean, 620 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,200 Speaker 1: one of the problems with New York is, let's face it, 621 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:37,319 Speaker 1: it's the income disparity because and the other thing is, 622 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,360 Speaker 1: for instance, like in the you know, in the building 623 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,760 Speaker 1: that I live in, the building I live in, Dorothy 624 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,319 Speaker 1: Parker used to live here. It used to be all 625 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 1: one bedrooms, and it used to be you know a 626 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 1: lot of single women. Now people have taken all of 627 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,880 Speaker 1: these apartments and then combine them because they have kids 628 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:03,799 Speaker 1: and so there are astronomical maintenances. The prices of the 629 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:08,080 Speaker 1: apartments are you know, five times what they should be, 630 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,839 Speaker 1: and who can afford that. The only person you can 631 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,799 Speaker 1: afford that is another hedge funder with a family, So 632 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,719 Speaker 1: you know, just that itself. You know, it changes the 633 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 1: dynamics of the city because where are you know, the 634 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,279 Speaker 1: city used to be filled with single people. Yeah, but 635 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,480 Speaker 1: online dating has changed that a lot too. I've heard 636 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,520 Speaker 1: men say that they won't walk up to a woman 637 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,840 Speaker 1: in a restaurant or a bar and just cold because 638 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: if she's with a girlfriend, because they will think if 639 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,759 Speaker 1: she wanted to be out with a guy, she would 640 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: be on an online date. Every girl. Every night. Your 641 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,480 Speaker 1: show would be a totally different show. Every night you 642 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,680 Speaker 1: could go get a different online date, the one where 643 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,800 Speaker 1: you just box someone, the one where someone is Jewish, 644 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:51,520 Speaker 1: the one you want to marry someone, the one you 645 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 1: want to go on three dates, tell a storytell a joke, 646 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 1: you have something in common, some weird fetish. I mean, 647 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 1: you choose your adventure. So that's why people don't have 648 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,719 Speaker 1: to go out and it's not that interaction and that 649 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,279 Speaker 1: social jungle. It used to be, yes, except that everybody 650 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 1: I talked to you goes online all the time. Hate. 651 00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,800 Speaker 1: I met my fiance online, and like he's Prince Charming. Literally, 652 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,520 Speaker 1: he's like the real life Prince Charming. And you have 653 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,040 Speaker 1: to treat it like you have to do it like 654 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 1: a business too. You can't just be like flippant about it. 655 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,200 Speaker 1: So you know what's important to you, you know it's 656 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,720 Speaker 1: not important to you, and you know what's a deal breaker, 657 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 1: what's non negotiable. And it's amazing. And I can't what 658 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,279 Speaker 1: I'm saying that because I was the last one to 659 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,560 Speaker 1: do it, the last except for you. I was like, 660 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,759 Speaker 1: there's no way, it's not for me. And I got 661 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,600 Speaker 1: into it and like I literally met Prince Charming. I 662 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:42,040 Speaker 1: know so many people who have met somebody online dating, 663 00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 1: and you know, they do the same thing. They really 664 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:49,000 Speaker 1: treat it like a job. But the only thing that 665 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,800 Speaker 1: I've noticed, but you know what it's like, online dating 666 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,359 Speaker 1: is like offline dating. You know, if you have if 667 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 1: you're good at certain things, you know, being able to 668 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:04,279 Speaker 1: make a conversation, shan having self confidence, you're gonna do 669 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:23,640 Speaker 1: well dating online or offline. Yeah, are you vain? I 670 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:27,319 Speaker 1: don't think so. Now you don't care about age and 671 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,880 Speaker 1: plastic surgery per se, or you don't think about it 672 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,759 Speaker 1: a lot, like well, I feel like I should get 673 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,319 Speaker 1: plastic surgery. I do not think based on looking at you, 674 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,759 Speaker 1: I didn't know you've had it or haven't had it, 675 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,560 Speaker 1: you definitely should not get plastic surgery. I haven't had any, 676 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,400 Speaker 1: but I feel like I want to. But I also 677 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,640 Speaker 1: feel like it don't really have the guts. I feel 678 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 1: the exact same way. I mean. The thing about plastic 679 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,920 Speaker 1: surgery is it doesn't really make you look younger, as 680 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 1: somebody said to me. It makes you look, you know, 681 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,239 Speaker 1: really good for your age, like somebody who's had plastic surgery. 682 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,280 Speaker 1: I am not against it at all, and I also 683 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,799 Speaker 1: think I think that people do. If plastic surgery is available, 684 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,879 Speaker 1: people will do it. And I think that it's part 685 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 1: of human nature self improvement, which I admire. No problem either, 686 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,320 Speaker 1: but I don't want to look like a crazy person, 687 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? No problem saying I get 688 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: it tomorrow and Jiffy plastic surgery. I go to Brasil, 689 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,160 Speaker 1: go through the drive through, but I just know I'll 690 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,960 Speaker 1: end up looking crazy. I don't look at makeup, contouring, 691 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,000 Speaker 1: none of that. I'm not vain at all, so that's 692 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,239 Speaker 1: not for me. But you look amazing. And I would 693 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,920 Speaker 1: never have said it if I didn't think it, so 694 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 1: I wouldn't get it if I were you. Of your career, 695 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:41,320 Speaker 1: the high and the low. I you know, I think 696 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 1: one of the highes was getting into the New York 697 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: Times bestseller list, because that was you know, that was 698 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:58,040 Speaker 1: definitely high. And but of course, you know then there's 699 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:02,319 Speaker 1: always the pressure. I mean, I think Lipstick Jungle, the 700 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,680 Speaker 1: TV show Lipstick Jungle. Getting that on the air was 701 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 1: really up high, and Brookshields was in that, and you 702 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:14,400 Speaker 1: know we love that show. Um. I mean, and the 703 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:20,520 Speaker 1: lows would be when one of my old editors at 704 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 1: The New York Observer, uh, you know, just out of 705 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: spite gave me a really really shitty review of one 706 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:33,680 Speaker 1: of my books, and I thought, I was, like, I 707 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:40,840 Speaker 1: did not work my ass off for fifteen years for 708 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:46,279 Speaker 1: this fucking asshole who went to Harvard who's jealous to 709 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 1: tear me up in New York magazine. I mean, that 710 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,720 Speaker 1: was I would say that was one of the lows, 711 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:57,200 Speaker 1: and that made me realize. I mean, unfortunately, one of 712 00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,719 Speaker 1: the things that I don't work very much with men, 713 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 1: but one of the things that I've learned from them 714 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,720 Speaker 1: is you really they don't have your back. Or a woman, 715 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,160 Speaker 1: they don't have your back. They're never have your back. 716 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,560 Speaker 1: They will give lip service to having your back, but 717 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,920 Speaker 1: they really don't have your back. I couldn't agree. I 718 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,320 Speaker 1: really actually really agree, and I'm not the person to 719 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 1: say that, but I do really agree. But the thing 720 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 1: that I'm hearing from you, and it sounds obvious, but 721 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:28,640 Speaker 1: because we're in the Instagram filter shortcut world, isn't the 722 00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:30,680 Speaker 1: number one reason that you are successful because you work 723 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 1: your goddamn ass off from the day one till now. Yes, um, 724 00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:41,200 Speaker 1: but I think you have to really, really really love 725 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,080 Speaker 1: doing it. And you know that's to me. It's like 726 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 1: one of the big differences between being um writer and 727 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:55,120 Speaker 1: being an actor. When you're an actor, you have somebody 728 00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,440 Speaker 1: has to hire you to do the job. You can't 729 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,960 Speaker 1: you know, you can't walk down the street and say hey, 730 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,200 Speaker 1: or be in your apartment like, oh, I'm gonna act. 731 00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:08,400 Speaker 1: It doesn't make any sense. But with a raider, you know, 732 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:12,960 Speaker 1: all you need is a piece of paper and a pencil, honestly, 733 00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 1: and I write a lot of stuff that I don't 734 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:22,040 Speaker 1: get paid for. I just do it because that's who 735 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 1: you are. You know. I did it without making any 736 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,399 Speaker 1: money for a long time. And when I look at 737 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,120 Speaker 1: my financial situation, I'm always like, I've made enough money 738 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,400 Speaker 1: to be able to afford to write for the next 739 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:39,640 Speaker 1: five years or for the next two years. That's beautiful, 740 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:44,759 Speaker 1: that's really nice, So, you know, So that's how I 741 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: look at it, and I often think, you know, you 742 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,680 Speaker 1: just have to pray that the culture is gonna somehow 743 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,279 Speaker 1: catch up with you. But then it also you know, 744 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:58,560 Speaker 1: sometimes you're rioting on the wave and it aligns and 745 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 1: it works in your six dessful, but that wave changes 746 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 1: direction and then you're not successful. So that's really that's 747 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,480 Speaker 1: the hard part, yes, but that's the learning. That's the 748 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,040 Speaker 1: best part, because that's when you realize how to navigate 749 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 1: something and when it happens again, you don't get all 750 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,719 Speaker 1: worked up into it. I guarantee that guy who wrote 751 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,960 Speaker 1: you that shitty review, if that happened today, you would 752 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,160 Speaker 1: handle it in a completely different way emotionally and maybe literally. 753 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:30,480 Speaker 1: Well today there's you know, today you can put that 754 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,920 Speaker 1: out on the Internet, and you would have other women 755 00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,919 Speaker 1: coming to your defense and saying, like, this guy's really 756 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:42,080 Speaker 1: out alone and this is a really sexist review. But 757 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:47,080 Speaker 1: back then that didn't happen. Well, I so appreciate your wisdom, 758 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:52,319 Speaker 1: your insight. You're telling us your story and sharing and 759 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,839 Speaker 1: this conversation. I appreciate it so much, and I wish 760 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,040 Speaker 1: you so much luck on your show, and I can't 761 00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: wait to hear about it. Well, you're gonna come to it. 762 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,200 Speaker 1: I would love to come to it. I just wasn't 763 00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:06,160 Speaker 1: gonna invite myself. I can invite you. Okay, great, great, 764 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:17,080 Speaker 1: it sounds wonderful. Bye bye. So that was Candice Bushnell. 765 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:21,040 Speaker 1: Her show is Is There Still Sex in the City. 766 00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,160 Speaker 1: She was interesting and different. That was more of a 767 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,919 Speaker 1: conversation that was just really us getting inside of who 768 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,600 Speaker 1: she is. And she was really just part of such 769 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,360 Speaker 1: an iconic time in New York and the most iconic 770 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 1: show for single women in history. And I really appreciated 771 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,080 Speaker 1: that conversation, and I liked that there was pushback, meaning 772 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:43,920 Speaker 1: there were things that I thought that were were incorrect, 773 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,839 Speaker 1: and it just was a good, good flow. So I 774 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:51,600 Speaker 1: appreciate you and that conversation and I hope you will rate, 775 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 1: review and subscribe. Thank you so much. It's going really 776 00:44:55,640 --> 00:45:03,279 Speaker 1: well and I'm so happy to appreciate you. Yeah, walk 777 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:04,720 Speaker 1: bout the fut