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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

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Speaker 2: This is John, your og Okay Storytime podcast host, and

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Speaker 2: we got some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 1: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 1: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: I think my wife of fourteen years is cheating on me,

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Speaker 3: and I have proof cheater.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know her.

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Speaker 2: Not anymore.

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Speaker 3: I thirty five male, think that my wife thirty three female,

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Speaker 3: is cheating on me and has been for many years.

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Speaker 3: We've been together for fourteen years, we've been married for

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Speaker 3: almost ten and we have a five year old daughter together.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user icy Warp and

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash Okay Storytime suburnding So incident number one.

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Speaker 3: When my wife and I were in college where we

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Speaker 3: first started dating, we had an incident where she had

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Speaker 3: some really spicy graphic texts from a guy we both

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Speaker 3: knew from school.

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Speaker 2: She even had classes with him.

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Speaker 3: I confronted her about the texts, which I definitely didn't

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Speaker 3: handle well, and basically accused her straight out of the

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Speaker 3: gate as cheating on me. Without real life. There were

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Speaker 3: some possible outs for her. One of those outs was

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Speaker 3: that she claimed that they were just some pervy texts

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Speaker 3: that she got from this guy out of the blue,

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Speaker 3: and that if I had paid any attention when I

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Speaker 3: was snooping through her phone, that she hadn't actually responded

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Speaker 3: to any of them. At the time, I conceded that

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Speaker 3: I may have overlooked that possibility and I had overreacted.

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Speaker 3: She apologized to me for not mentioning to me that

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Speaker 3: some guy was hitting on her like that, and I

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Speaker 3: apologize for overreacting and for snooping. We moved on from there.

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Speaker 3: Incident number two fast forward to this last year. My daughter, wife,

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Speaker 3: and I are at the gas station. I can tell

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Speaker 3: my wife it's kind of distant and detached from the

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Speaker 3: interactions my daughter and I are having. I noticed that

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Speaker 3: she's glued to her phone as well. The gas fill

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Speaker 3: for our car is on the passenger side, and I

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Speaker 3: have the rear passenger door open so I can tickle

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Speaker 3: my daughter while I wait for the car to fill up.

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Speaker 3: It's adorable. I'm really suspicious of what my wife is

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Speaker 3: doing at this point, so I decide that I'm going

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Speaker 3: to take a look over my wife's shoulder from the

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Speaker 3: back seat at what it is she's so caught up in.

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Speaker 3: Turns out she is actively in the moment spicy texting

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Speaker 3: some guy no so like words, descriptions and acts that

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Speaker 3: very much seem like they've been doing this for a

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Speaker 3: while through text and looking back with twenty twenty hindsight,

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Speaker 3: I'm fairly certain that they had been effing as well. Also,

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Speaker 3: all the crap she was texting was super graphic stuff

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Speaker 3: that she never used with me, either in dirty talk

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Speaker 3: or when we got intimate. And I know this next

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Speaker 3: admission is pathetic and that it should matter more than

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Speaker 3: anything else, but the fact that she has wanted to

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Speaker 3: share in these acts with this man instead of me

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Speaker 3: really effing hurt.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Guys, talk to your partners about what y'all want?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, in all its respects. Like, that's also a big one.

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Speaker 3: What do we want exactly? What do we like exactly?

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Speaker 2: Let's do that.

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Speaker 3: That's probably just my pride talking, but it is what

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Speaker 3: it is. So fast forward ten minutes when we got home,

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Speaker 3: and I have to suffer through smiling during dinner and

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Speaker 3: the whole nighttime ritual of getting our daughter to bed

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Speaker 3: so as not to cause a scene by blowing up

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Speaker 3: at my wife for what I had seen her texting. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: that was probably a blessing because it allowed me to

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Speaker 3: collect my thoughts before confronting her. I end up telling

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Speaker 3: my wife what I saw at the gas station, and

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Speaker 3: right off the bat, she tries to play tom with

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Speaker 3: the what are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Of course, honey, you're making no sense.

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Speaker 3: I told her to not play dumb with me, and

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Speaker 3: I recited some of the texts that I could remember

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Speaker 3: back to her to prove me that I saw what

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Speaker 3: I saw. She then goes on to admit that it

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Speaker 3: was a mistake, but that I was one hundred percent

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Speaker 3: nothing physical, and that she was really sorry. She admitted

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Speaker 3: that the guy was a work colleague. Oh dude, it's

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Speaker 3: your work husband. No, you have a work husband.

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Speaker 1: No. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: We talked a lot that night about why she felt

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Speaker 3: she needed to be doing that. A lot of it

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Speaker 3: had boiled down to her feeling depressed and lonely. We

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Speaker 3: talked about strategies that we could invoke at home, things

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Speaker 3: that we both could change to help mend this rift.

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Speaker 3: I guess things kind of felt okay after that, but

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Speaker 3: it felt like the day image to our trust was

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Speaker 3: already done.

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Speaker 2: And I don't think I've.

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Speaker 3: Ever really recovered even that seemingly small moment of infidelity,

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Speaker 3: assuming that was only text, was just such an effing

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Speaker 3: hammer in my heart.

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Speaker 2: Brother, You don't have to minimize that. That's huge.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, it's a big deal. Yeah, you don't need

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Speaker 1: to just like shrug it off.

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Speaker 3: We just live in an era where that's the kind

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Speaker 3: of communication we can have. Like, Yeah, at any other

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Speaker 3: time in human history, that would have been you know,

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Speaker 3: her explicitly cheating on you physically and emotionally with some

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Speaker 3: other guy behind your back while you're not around.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, she's just doing that same thing through her phone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, Ever since that incident from last year, I've been

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Speaker 3: waking up every day as a lesser version of my

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Speaker 3: former self. My emotions and propensity to feel anything have

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Speaker 3: been severely muted. Interacting with my daughter is about the

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Speaker 3: only thing that gets me back to close to a

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Speaker 3: baseline of how I remember my former self. But beyond

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Speaker 3: those precious moments, I'm just a walking, grade out zombie

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Speaker 3: that puts on a good face for pretty much everything.

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Speaker 3: For my day to day, going to work, interacting with

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Speaker 3: my wife.

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Speaker 2: All of it. We have the most recent incident incident

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Speaker 2: number three.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, And let me just.

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Speaker 3: Say as someone who's been in a relationship where it

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Speaker 3: got to a point where every day I woke up

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Speaker 3: feeling like a chump, and like I was just like

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Speaker 3: getting chumped on.

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Speaker 2: Every day I was a little more and more of

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Speaker 2: a chump.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta make a change, whether you make that

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Speaker 3: change together or the changes to be separated.

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Speaker 2: You got to make a change exactly.

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Speaker 1: Can't go on like that forever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The most recent incident, now fast forward to yesterday. My

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Speaker 3: wife has been gone on a week long work trip

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Speaker 3: to the East Coast. We are on the West Coast.

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Speaker 3: I actually had zero suspicions or justifiable reasons to be

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Speaker 3: worried for this trip, because things have been going pretty

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Speaker 3: well between us, and she hadn't really given off any

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Speaker 3: indicators of suspicious behavior. But my first clue was that

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Speaker 3: when she arrived at her destination, she couldn't get the

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Speaker 3: Wi Fi working for FaceTime. She can't get the FaceTime working,

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Speaker 3: and it stayed true for the entirety of the trip.

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Speaker 3: First of all, FaceTime works on cellular data just fine.

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Speaker 3: I explained that to her without much of a response. Second,

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Speaker 3: I know that if I were on for a week

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Speaker 3: from my family, it would be my biggest effing priority

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Speaker 3: to get FaceTime up and running so I could see

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Speaker 3: my family's faces every time I called a visit, which

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Speaker 3: would be every single night, which brings me to my

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Speaker 3: next point. She called us in the evening to say

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Speaker 3: good night maybe two times out of the seven days

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Speaker 3: that she was gone. Based on previous trips she's had,

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Speaker 3: this has been really strange. Normally, she is like clockwork,

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Speaker 3: touching base with us to share her day and to

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Speaker 3: hear from us about our day, and again always on FaceTime.

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Speaker 3: I asked her about that, and she claimed that she

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Speaker 3: was just too tired in the evenings to get back

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Speaker 3: to us, too.

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Speaker 2: Tired from like all that hard work, or too tired.

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Speaker 1: For all that hard work hard work.

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Speaker 3: Also, in the past, if she was away from me

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Speaker 3: or away from home, she would always text me goodnight

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Speaker 3: and that she loves me, even if we had previously

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Speaker 3: chatted moments earlier on FaceTime or on a phone call.

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Speaker 3: For this recent trip, she never texted me once, so

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Speaker 3: when she got back, my radar was on high alert.

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Speaker 3: Now I don't feel good about this next part, but

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Speaker 3: when she went to sleep that night, I checked her

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Speaker 3: travel bag to see if my suspicions were correct.

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Speaker 2: Sure enough, to my surprise, she keeps this little red

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Speaker 2: book as a diary in her work bag. There's no

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Speaker 2: way she journaled this.

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Speaker 1: She's not even good about hiding.

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Speaker 2: Way she had journaled her affair.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy.

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Speaker 4: It like, if you're gonna have an affair, which don't

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Speaker 4: do that, by the way, but if you're going to

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Speaker 4: do it, don't keep a log like oh, yes, and

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Speaker 4: these are all the details of my fair partner's body

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Speaker 4: and what she did to my body.

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Speaker 3: And at that point you can't even be like, oh,

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Speaker 3: it was meaningless. It's like you're journaling about it. There's

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Speaker 3: clearly some kind of emotion there. Yeah, even if it's

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Speaker 3: not love.

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Speaker 1: Oh God.

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Speaker 3: So I open it up and there's a date marked

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Speaker 3: two nine fifteen. It turns out she'd started writing a

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Speaker 3: poem on that day about our daughter, who had just

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Speaker 3: been born the previous fall. Okay, that's really sweet, I

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Speaker 3: say to myself, and I start feeling bad about my snooping.

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Speaker 3: I flipped to the next page and there's a new entry,

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Speaker 3: no date, but it's written sequentially right after the aforementioned poem.

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Speaker 3: So I know what I describe here was an entry

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Speaker 3: that came after our daughter being born. This non dated

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Speaker 3: entry starts off with her describing how much she longs

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Speaker 3: for this specific person. She doesn't give his name. She

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Speaker 3: goes on to talk about how she can't stop thinking

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Speaker 3: about him. Every man she sees reminds her of him.

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Speaker 3: She talks about how she never really intended for things

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Speaker 3: to go very far, but that one night that started

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Speaker 3: in the bar and ended up going upstairs just felt

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Speaker 3: too right to not be something meaningful.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 3: She goes on to say that she doesn't feel bad

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Speaker 3: about making that decision in regard to how it impacts

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Speaker 3: her other life. She describes how she thinks maybe her

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Speaker 3: other life.

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Speaker 1: Was the mistake. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: This goes on for pages. That entry ends with her

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Speaker 3: making peace with herself that he moved on from her

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Speaker 3: and it was time for her to forget about him.

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Speaker 3: I'm assuming that her other life is our daughter and me. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so before I get any farther into this, we're only

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Speaker 3: about halfway through.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, me, I take a picture of that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why that was my camera sound effect,

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Speaker 3: but I take a picture of that, I get it,

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Speaker 3: I send it to my wife, and then she never

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Speaker 3: hears from me again unless it's from my legal counsel

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Speaker 3: for the divorce. Yeah, that is the only thing that's

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Speaker 3: happening now. Yeah, because I can't get over that.

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Speaker 4: No, right after their daughter was born, right after so

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Speaker 4: this whole time, like it's the opposite, which is what

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Speaker 4: we've heard so many times, which is still awful. You know,

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Speaker 4: we're like, the man is off because like the wife

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Speaker 4: is pregnant, she's making this child.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm assuming he was.

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Speaker 4: Being a great husband and like taking care of her

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Speaker 4: while she was pregnant, waiting for this child.

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Speaker 1: That hopefully is theirs.

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Speaker 3: He sounds like a very understanding patient dude, especially given

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Speaker 3: that they made it through him discovering those you know,

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Speaker 3: spicy texts. Yea happening literally right in front of him.

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Speaker 3: Literally he's playing with their daughter. I would be, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't know how he got through that like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but I think that would have been a way bigger

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Speaker 3: issue for me. But yeah, dude, I'm also using that

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Speaker 3: in the divorce proceeds, and we'd be like, she literally

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Speaker 3: thinks me and her daughter are a mistake. So I

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Speaker 3: want primary custody, and I want.

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Speaker 4: It all absolutely, Yeah, making pictures of it, if not

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Speaker 4: to send her then just to have his proof.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, ripped the papers out right, take like literally gathered

243
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Speaker 3: at his evidence.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So there was only one more entry after the previous one.

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Speaker 3: I took pictures of it and have typed it out

247
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Speaker 3: here in its entirety.

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Speaker 2: Quote.

249
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,440
Speaker 3: I'm laughing to myself because I haven't opened this book

250
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,600
Speaker 3: in over two years, and here I am sitting in

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Speaker 3: his bed, in his room at his home, still feeling

252
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,640
Speaker 3: angst over so many of the same things. I'll go

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Speaker 3: home after having a week with him, and I'll be

254
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Speaker 3: asking the same questions. Is he ever going to call

255
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,480
Speaker 3: again after? Was it so stupid to go on this trip?

256
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,680
Speaker 3: So funny how I thought we'd never speak again, And

257
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,200
Speaker 3: look where I am. We worked together, We talked almost

258
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Speaker 3: every day, and he was there for me as a friend.

259
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,559
Speaker 3: Now here I am and back with questions why were

260
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Speaker 3: we so hot and cold those first couple of days

261
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,040
Speaker 3: and then just tapered off. Maybe he's doing that moral

262
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,760
Speaker 3: compass wrestling, And after I leave, we'll never speak again.

263
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,120
Speaker 3: This trip was probably a bad idea, but we had

264
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,920
Speaker 3: a lot of fun, and he did say he's been

265
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Speaker 3: looking forward to it. He missed me, he wanted this.

266
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Speaker 2: I know that.

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Speaker 3: I wish he would just tell me he wants me,

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Speaker 3: just me and always me. It's like we dance around

269
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Speaker 3: things because he's still wants us to have this thing

270
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Speaker 3: happening despite the rest of my life. And I just

271
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Speaker 3: don't want to talk about that to the point that

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Speaker 3: I'm lying, and I hate lying to him. But meanwhile,

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Speaker 3: every tender moment I have with him is so precious.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe it.

275
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Speaker 3: I couldn't imagine we'd actually be snuggling on the couch

276
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Speaker 3: and there we were.

277
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Speaker 4: I hate lying to my affair partner, but not lying

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Speaker 4: to my husband about having an affair partner.

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Speaker 2: Buddy, I'll see you in the gym, all right, this

280
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Speaker 2: is where we go.

281
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Speaker 3: I'll see you there. I got your membership covered, my guy.

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Speaker 3: There you go straight up? Because that, ah, man, that

283
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,199
Speaker 3: would turn me into a suit of armor if I

284
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,679
Speaker 3: read that. I'm not coming out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

286
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Speaker 3: I haven't slept since reading that last full entry, and

287
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,880
Speaker 3: I haven't confronted her yet either. It's been almost forty

288
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,920
Speaker 3: eight hours now without sleep, and I am just an

289
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 3: emotional wreck. I don't know how to handle the situation.

290
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Speaker 3: I guess I've gotten so good at wearing this zombie

291
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,320
Speaker 3: mask ever since incident number two happened that I've been

292
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,400
Speaker 3: able to limp through the last couple of days. But

293
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,640
Speaker 3: it's getting really, really hard to be around her. I

294
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,719
Speaker 3: hopped online and read some guides on how to deal

295
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 3: with infidelity, and most of the guides mentioned there, so

296
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Speaker 3: I'm going to look into that tomorrow. Just filing for

297
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 3: divorce isn't so simple. My wife has a serious seizure

298
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,480
Speaker 3: disorder that is uncontrolled. She can't tell when they're happening,

299
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:11,080
Speaker 3: so that puts herself in possibly others like small kids,

300
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,160
Speaker 3: especially our daughter, to be exact in danger.

301
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,160
Speaker 2: I mentioned this as it pertains to custody.

302
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,240
Speaker 3: Imagine she's making dinner for her and my daughter one

303
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,400
Speaker 3: evening and she has a seizure near the stovetop and

304
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 3: the house ketches on fire. Well, buddy, let me just

305
00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,760
Speaker 3: say this, it sounds like you should have full custody. Then,

306
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,560
Speaker 3: perhaps imagine she's making dinner for her and my daughter

307
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,600
Speaker 3: one evening and she has a seizure near the stovetop

308
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,400
Speaker 3: and the house ketches on fire. Well, the only adult

309
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,440
Speaker 3: in the house is lying on the floor unconscious. Or

310
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 3: what if my daughter has a medical emergency, but then

311
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,959
Speaker 3: my wife has a seizure due to the stress of

312
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 3: the situation. These are very real possibilities and ones that

313
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,720
Speaker 3: I fear could happen if she got custody. In any way,

314
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Speaker 3: some of those examples aren't too far off from other

315
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,480
Speaker 3: real life incidents we've had over the years.

316
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Speaker 2: Due to her seizure disorder.

317
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Speaker 3: She obviously can't drive with this factor into a custody dispute.

318
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,800
Speaker 3: I mean, our daughter is starting kindergarten in a month,

319
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,000
Speaker 3: how could my wife transport her? I don't know what

320
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,600
Speaker 3: I'm looking for with this whole rambling post. Maybe just

321
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,640
Speaker 3: assurance that her gas lighting isn't working, that what I've

322
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,720
Speaker 3: described isn't the workings of an overly paranoid mind nobody.

323
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:03,840
Speaker 2: Unfortunately they're not.

324
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Speaker 3: I feel like one minute I'm ready to file for divorce,

325
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,079
Speaker 3: and then the next I want to try to salvage

326
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,840
Speaker 3: things for the sake of our daughter and just to

327
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,120
Speaker 3: avoid the awful mess that will be made of all

328
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,560
Speaker 3: three of our lives if we end up separating. Here's

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00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,280
Speaker 3: some other logistical details that seem important for anyone who's

330
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,760
Speaker 3: managed to read this far. We own a house together

331
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,440
Speaker 3: and have a mortgage. We have significant investments that we

332
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,600
Speaker 3: have joint control over and that we're given to us

333
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,120
Speaker 3: by her dad. They total somewhere in the range of

334
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,320
Speaker 3: a lot in stocks and bonds. I'm on wonderful terms

335
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,400
Speaker 3: with her parents and family in general. I've always been

336
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 3: that son in law that was there for everyone to

337
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,040
Speaker 3: lend help to, no matter how small or large. All

338
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,160
Speaker 3: of her immediate family is right here where we live.

339
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,640
Speaker 3: I have zero family support from my side where we live.

340
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,640
Speaker 3: My nearest friend is an hour and a half away.

341
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,880
Speaker 3: Thanks for any help in advance, and we have some comments.

342
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,600
Speaker 3: I think her family is going to be very given

343
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Speaker 3: what you just described, very receptive to helping you and

344
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,680
Speaker 3: your daughter through all of this. Yeah, and we'll probably

345
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Speaker 3: be abjectly horrified at what your wife has done here hopefully.

346
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Speaker 4: Man, because there's still been so many stories where it's

347
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,679
Speaker 4: like the family still backs them up, but at the

348
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,920
Speaker 4: same time it's probably because it comes from the cheater

349
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,439
Speaker 4: and that they are not telling the story correctly.

350
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,440
Speaker 3: Right, or it's like you know, sometimes you know, we

351
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,400
Speaker 3: get stories where people she's like, why doesn't their family

352
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 3: ever like me.

353
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,240
Speaker 2: It's like this family already likes you.

354
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

355
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,320
Speaker 2: Got to imagine you get some support from them.

356
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 1: But man, but you need to put.

357
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:21,840
Speaker 2: It on the open.

358
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, we have comments here. I mean, I assume we're

359
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:29,960
Speaker 3: both on divorce. Yeah, divorce number one. Paternity test time,

360
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,360
Speaker 3: op says, I may do that at some point, but

361
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:32,920
Speaker 3: not now.

362
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,880
Speaker 2: It's just not that important in the grand scheme.

363
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,200
Speaker 3: Dude, wop being like, dude, even if this isn't my

364
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,640
Speaker 3: daughter as my daughter now, yeah, she's.

365
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,320
Speaker 2: My daughter, I don't care. It's my daughter right.

366
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,640
Speaker 3: Also, for what it's worth, my daughter is a spinning

367
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,400
Speaker 3: image of me. It's uncanny. Reply says, you're forgetting that

368
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,520
Speaker 3: the ex wife can order a paternity test if she

369
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,880
Speaker 3: knows he's not the father, then she can get the

370
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,160
Speaker 3: real father to sue for custody and pretend he's been

371
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,400
Speaker 3: active in their daughter's life. It's never good to remain ignorant.

372
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,080
Speaker 2: In my opinion.

373
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,080
Speaker 3: You may also want your her own kids one day,

374
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,160
Speaker 3: and that might make you feel differently about financially supporting

375
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 3: someone else's child.

376
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:05,280
Speaker 1: Ope.

377
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,880
Speaker 3: He says, the main problem with that argument is they

378
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,720
Speaker 3: would have to prove she's been a part of his life.

379
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,560
Speaker 3: But my daughter has never been away from me for

380
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 3: a single day except when she's at daycare, which has

381
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,360
Speaker 3: a record of her sign ins and sign outs. It

382
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,920
Speaker 3: would be so easy to disprove that type of deception.

383
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,080
Speaker 3: That being said, it does give me something to watch

384
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,280
Speaker 3: out for, So thank you. Comment too says do you

385
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 3: ever plan on telling your daughter? I feel like if

386
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,160
Speaker 3: there is one person who has the right to know,

387
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,440
Speaker 3: it should be your daughter. She is still pretty young,

388
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 3: but I feel like at some point it would be

389
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,000
Speaker 3: rise to tell her the truth. I also know growing

390
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,640
Speaker 3: up I would be mad at both parents if they

391
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,560
Speaker 3: never told me the truth as to why they broke

392
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,600
Speaker 3: up when I was younger. Just something to mold over

393
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 3: for you. And I think we've gotten this question a lot,

394
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:43,680
Speaker 3: and I usually say somewhere around like, you know, twelve, somewhere.

395
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,600
Speaker 2: In like the middle school beginning middle school age, and.

396
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,120
Speaker 3: When to tell them, Yeah, I mean like, and I

397
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,000
Speaker 3: don't know if that's like the rite or not. It's like,

398
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,600
Speaker 3: I feel like it could be a very emotionally volatile time.

399
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,000
Speaker 3: But it's also like I think if you tell them earlier,

400
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,160
Speaker 3: like they don't necessarily have the depth to like, yeah,

401
00:15:58,680 --> 00:15:59,440
Speaker 3: comprehend it.

402
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, which one is better? I don't know.

403
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,840
Speaker 3: It's hard, right, but I think five is way too

404
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,640
Speaker 3: young to try to explain like Mommy cheated on daddy

405
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:07,880
Speaker 3: and it really really hurt him.

406
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, that would be when they don't even know like

407
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,880
Speaker 4: how relationships work.

408
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,240
Speaker 1: That could be very difficult. I think it probably depends.

409
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,240
Speaker 4: There's one time, in like Middle Squab, I was doing

410
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,360
Speaker 4: a monologue about like finding out that I was adopted,

411
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,560
Speaker 4: and I was like, Hey, mom, now's your time to

412
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,640
Speaker 4: tell me if that's the case. Like while I'm literally

413
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 4: talking about this monologue in class, It's like, now's your

414
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 4: chance tell me if I'm adopted or not. And I

415
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,280
Speaker 4: can get really good grade on this monologue.

416
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,560
Speaker 1: So it's things like that.

417
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 3: You know. Okay, So Opie replies, I won't lie to

418
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,880
Speaker 3: her if she asks, but I'm not going to spend

419
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 3: any energy on it at this age five.

420
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,840
Speaker 2: Right, we have an update. Let's get into it.

421
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 3: Let's do it. I left work today in order to

422
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,400
Speaker 3: start lining things up. I have a lawyer lined up

423
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 3: for this Friday. That is the earliest I could find

424
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 3: in my area. It's just a consultation, so I'm not

425
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 3: sure what to expect from that one meeting alone. Thanks

426
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 3: to everyone for all your pearls and especially your daggas.

427
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 2: I definitely needed some other perspectives.

428
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,360
Speaker 3: I know it seems unbelievable that I could go this long,

429
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 3: but I've been seriously gas lit for years now.

430
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:05,879
Speaker 2: I've just been conditioned to it.

431
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,720
Speaker 3: It's also a character flaw of mine to want to

432
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,919
Speaker 3: see the best in people, but I'm just so effing

433
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 3: scared of the unexpected. God, dang it, I just hope

434
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 3: she admits to it. Is there any way she can

435
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,320
Speaker 3: twist this around on me like an invasion of privacy?

436
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 3: We are Washington State, so I can't record me confronting

437
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 3: her without her consent, And there's some comments here invasion

438
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,119
Speaker 3: of privacy. You failt your marriage was threatened, and you

439
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,080
Speaker 3: took logical first steps to see if your instincts were

440
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 3: based on anything.

441
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 2: Solid, and they were.

442
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,639
Speaker 3: Don't worry about that, Opie says, yeah, I'm over that part.

443
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,159
Speaker 3: During the confrontation, she actually tried to pull up, what

444
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 3: the eff are you doing spying on me? Having someone

445
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 3: follow me? I expected it, so I just stared at

446
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 3: her as she went into that mode, and there is

447
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 3: a second update, So.

448
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,760
Speaker 4: Wait for that phase of her anger to be over.

449
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 4: It's all I could do.

450
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:45,640
Speaker 1: Just let to have it. Now.

451
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,840
Speaker 3: I don't advocate for this, but I am going to

452
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,840
Speaker 3: say it because if you wanted to do a real

453
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 3: dastardly move that I've heard you can do, which honestly, again,

454
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 3: if it was me, I'd be so distraught at this

455
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,360
Speaker 3: that I probably would do this. I would call every.

456
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 2: Divorce lawyer in my area.

457
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 3: Because if you call and have a consultation for you whatever,

458
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 3: if you go to them first, then it creates a

459
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 3: conflict of interest if your wife were to ever join

460
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,879
Speaker 3: and use their services. So essentially, if you go to

461
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 3: every single divorce lawyer in your area and start something

462
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,679
Speaker 3: with them, that means that your wife can't go to

463
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:19,840
Speaker 3: any of those divorces.

464
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 1: WHOA wait, that's crazy.

465
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,040
Speaker 3: And again I don't advocate for that because that's a

466
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:27,119
Speaker 3: real scumbag negative thing to do. However, I think if

467
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 3: there wasn't a kid involved, I'd be like, two, you

468
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 3: have to do reading that would have awakened a demon

469
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 3: within me, not even kidding, So, wow, you're.

470
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 2: Better than me.

471
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:35,640
Speaker 1: Op.

472
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 3: Update number two starts with I met my lawyer this morning,

473
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,360
Speaker 3: and she was great because she gave me a lot

474
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 3: of confidence that I felt was draining away from me

475
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 3: throughout the week as I waited to confront her my wife.

476
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 3: I also had a good friend that was my rock

477
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,639
Speaker 3: throughout the week, and I will never be able to

478
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 3: thank him enough. I ended up confronting my wife right

479
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 3: after the meeting with the lawyer. I refused to give

480
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 3: up any of my evidence. I just said, I know

481
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,600
Speaker 3: about the other guy. I need you to talk about it.

482
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 3: I just kept repeating that line while she went through

483
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 3: crocodile tears and confusion about what I was talking about.

484
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,719
Speaker 3: It was so effing hard not giving up any of

485
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 3: that information, but I knew that I had all the

486
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 3: power in that situation.

487
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 2: In the end, she never confessed.

488
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 3: I basically moved the conversation from there by saying, well,

489
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,640
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter if you admit to what I already

490
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,919
Speaker 3: know or not, because the spicy texting that you did

491
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 3: last year was enough to destroy any trust I had

492
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 3: in you, and I can no longer live like this.

493
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 3: From there, she just kind of shut down and became

494
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 3: pretty docile. Never brought back up this outrageous thing I

495
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 3: was falsely accusing her of. We pretty quickly moved into

496
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 3: business like details about what to do in the short term.

497
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,640
Speaker 3: Her dad came over and picked her up and gave

498
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 3: me a hug and said, just let us know if

499
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 3: you need anything.

500
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,920
Speaker 2: W family. I effing teared up right at that moment.

501
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,639
Speaker 3: I'm not letting my guard down yet, because anything can happen,

502
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,680
Speaker 3: but I think things may work out for the better

503
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 3: for everyone involved.

504
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,200
Speaker 2: I agree.

505
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 3: I cannot thank everyone here on Readit enough for your thoughts, jabs,

506
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 3: pearls of wisdom and funny comments. You all gave me

507
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 3: some serious wake up calls and support and I am

508
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 3: forever in your debt.

509
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,640
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

510
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 1: It all end up, okay, I believe it will.

511
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 3: You know.

512
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:09,120
Speaker 1: It just sucks.

513
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 3: A relationship can't survive that level of emotional carpet bombing man.

514
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 3: Ye like just yeah, obliteration of any trust that I

515
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 3: ever had for that person.

516
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,720
Speaker 4: So yeah, absolutely, time and time again. Not even just

517
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 4: like a one time thing, yeah, time, you let.

518
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 2: It go multiple times.

519
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.

520
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 3: And it was a consistent theme concept through your old relationship,

521
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,360
Speaker 3: even when you met in college.

522
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:31,919
Speaker 1: Yeah.

523
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 2: Sounds like the family's gonna have your back. Very good.

524
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: That's great.

525
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 2: That is the end of that story.

526
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 4: My husband spent thousands of dollars on girls he was

527
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 4: cheating with.

528
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 1: Now we're in debt.

529
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,640
Speaker 2: We who is we not anymore?

530
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,959
Speaker 4: I'm Asian, so I'm a very shy person, so I

531
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,159
Speaker 4: have only lurked. It has taken me a lot to

532
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,959
Speaker 4: post this. My best friend is unreliable. She flip flops

533
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 4: all the time. I really don't know what to do anymore.

534
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 4: This happened a few months ago, so I'm still recollecting

535
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 4: the details. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right,

536
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 4: but here it goes. By the way, this comes from

537
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,720
Speaker 4: Spring Excellent thirty two ninety nine, and if you want

538
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the our social

539
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 4: story time and separate it. So I recently found out

540
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 4: that he was cheating on me when I was at

541
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 4: our office paying off bills and I was looking through

542
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 4: the bank accounts and I saw a weird charge for

543
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 4: a deposit on an apartment in another city. So I

544
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 4: dug deeper through the credit card statements and I saw

545
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 4: a bunch of really ridiculous charges, everything from spicy clubs

546
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 4: to escort bar charges and ten K necklaces and other apartments. Overall,

547
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 4: he spent at least two hundred K on these girls

548
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 4: in the last twelve months. I confronted him and he

549
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,919
Speaker 4: denied and said that the apartment was for his friend.

550
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 4: But he got to the point where the evidence was

551
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 4: so substantial that he admits it, and he said that

552
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 4: he was really sorry and so that his heart was hurting.

553
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: A lot, and asked for forgiveness.

554
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 4: For some background info, we are Asian and I married

555
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,879
Speaker 4: this man when I was nineteen. We had kids, and

556
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 4: I never went to college. In the earlier days, I

557
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 4: worked as a bank account and church billing clerk, but

558
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 4: spent most of my life as a mom and wife

559
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 4: supporting him. I have no real skill sets that I

560
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,120
Speaker 4: feel like. We have three kids, with two in college

561
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 4: and one as a senior in high school. We started

562
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 4: off with nothing like most people and lived really humble

563
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 4: and supported each other through recession. Back in two thousand

564
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 4: and nine, after we got past hard times, we started

565
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,639
Speaker 4: a construction business together with over ten employees for the

566
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 4: past ten years under my name because his credit was

567
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 4: really bad.

568
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,679
Speaker 1: But he does most of the work and I mostly

569
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: just fill out the loans and pay the bills.

570
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 4: He pays me one forty four K a year, in

571
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 4: which I used to pay for my kids' expenses, and

572
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 4: I have about three to five K left over for

573
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 4: my personal expense.

574
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 1: That's so many expenses.

575
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 3: For kids who those kids are kids are so expensive.

576
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 4: The last five years we have lived really well. I

577
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 4: even got into a habit of buying designer bags and stuff.

578
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 4: We have nice cars and everything. Life was really good financially.

579
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 4: He started traveling more and going on camping and fishing

580
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,199
Speaker 4: trips with the boys. However, I still make it a

581
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 4: priority to please him in bed about once a week

582
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 4: because I know that was really important to him. So anyways,

583
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 4: back to him asking for forgiveness, I was.

584
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: Really hurt that he bought these girls a.

585
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 4: Ten k Van Cleef necklace and Chanel bags and an apartment.

586
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 4: But he swears on our kids that he never had

587
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 4: spicy sleep with any of these.

588
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,199
Speaker 1: Girls and he just wanted someone to talk to.

589
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 4: I believe him and try a couple therapy, but they

590
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 4: were really negative and told me to leave him and

591
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 4: so that he was manipulative and to go to a

592
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 4: lawyer and get stuff done and leave him.

593
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: The therapist told you that, Bro. They were just so

594
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 1: negative though. Oh man, no negative.

595
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 3: They probably spending more than your yearly salary on other

596
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 3: women just because he was lonely.

597
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 1: I wanted someone to talk to when you were there

598
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 1: all alone. You can talk to your wife, girl, girl.

599
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 4: Oh, the lawyer takes like two months to draw the paperwork,

600
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 4: and we have like six hundred k and irs, dets,

601
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 4: company loans and other stuff that's under my name.

602
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I have no real skills.

603
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 4: And I feel like I wouldn't be able to survive

604
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,440
Speaker 4: in this world without him, nor will our kids because

605
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 4: they lived a really luxurious life the past few years

606
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 4: as well.

607
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 3: Stop girl, it sounds like you are running all of

608
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 3: the day to day operations of the business.

609
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a super duper skill set.

610
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: Absolutely do that for another business, for sure, Yes, for sure.

611
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 1: What do I do?

612
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 4: I know there's probably tons and tons of details I'm

613
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 4: leaving out, so feel free to ask if you guys

614
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 4: need more contact. And we do have an update, So yeah,

615
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:26,880
Speaker 4: I think we.

616
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 1: Kind of know what she should do.

617
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 4: She should leave and then get some other clerical job

618
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 4: at like another business.

619
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: Boom.

620
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 3: Yes, it sounds like you guys got married young, and

621
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 3: you did this, and you've you didn't you know, go

622
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 3: to school, and you've been kind of doing everything as

623
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 3: a unit. I think now it's time for you to

624
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 3: step back and be like, what is it that I want?

625
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 3: What is it that I like enjoy?

626
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 1: But we do have an update to update number one.

627
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: What the F do you mean?

628
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 4: We owe a lot of money, so I'm guessing that

629
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 4: was a comment. We have a construction company. We owe

630
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 4: about two to three years of IRS taxes. We also

631
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 4: have a mortgage that's under my name and some company

632
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 4: loans that we took out under my name as well,

633
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 4: because I'm the owner of our company, since he has

634
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 4: very bad credit.

635
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:08,239
Speaker 1: Update number two.

636
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 4: I saw a lot of comments saying that he might

637
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,199
Speaker 4: have spicy sleep with these women, but I have no

638
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 4: real proof. He has looked me in the eyes and

639
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 4: swore on our children that he didn't have spicy sleep

640
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,199
Speaker 4: with any of the girls. He knows I'm religious and

641
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,479
Speaker 4: wouldn't swear on the kids if he didn't mean it.

642
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 1: Update number three.

643
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 4: In response to Voodoo Duck and others about tax attorney

644
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 4: and so forth, we have a tax attorney guy. Already

645
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 4: he is trying to help extend the line on the

646
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 4: irs taxes. I'm not sure how much it would help

647
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 4: if there was fraud on the company because it's under

648
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 4: my name.

649
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 1: I don't think he's with any of the girls anymore.

650
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 1: He admitted that.

651
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 4: He was dating this girl for like six months, from

652
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 4: like September to March, because he had gotten her an

653
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 4: apartment and also a bmw X five for her Christmas gift,

654
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 4: but apparently she left and ran away overseas.

655
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, they were dating for six months but never slept together.

656
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, never bought her an apartment and a car that

657
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 3: he never slept in or wrote.

658
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 1: It, never saw her naked.

659
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 4: He did end up getting a second apartment and dating

660
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 4: a second girl, but he told me neither was serious,

661
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 4: and he ended up punting the second girl out like

662
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 4: two months after I found out because I forced him,

663
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 4: and I'll have update number four.

664
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 2: That is so bad. What are you talking about?

665
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 1: Get it?

666
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 3: He said that wasn't serious. I just bought a second

667
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 3: woman in an apartment. Wasn't that serious? After you confronted

668
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 3: me about it and I kicked her out.

669
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 4: A whole apartment for someone like, that's crazy, dude.

670
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 3: The first girl ran away and then he did it again. Yeah,

671
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 3: well it's going on. He's literally married already.

672
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 4: Like, it's not like he's desperate for a wife or

673
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 4: a partner.

674
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: He's got that.

675
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 2: He could just be doing all of this for his wife.

676
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, my goodness.

677
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 5: Or pay off his debt please, I think the irs

678
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 5: might need some of that money.

679
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, do that for buy the irs and apartment, make

680
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 4: them you're a pair partner. Update number four. Though I

681
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 4: appreciate the comments, both good and bad. I know there's

682
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,959
Speaker 4: a fifty to fifty chance that he might have spicy

683
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 4: sleep with these girls, but there is no way for

684
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 4: me to know for sure one hundred percent. Like, yes,

685
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 4: I looked through his phone and saw that he texted

686
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 4: a lot of spicy sleep workers from these sites, from

687
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 4: all different ethnicities of girls.

688
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 1: But I have no proof.

689
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 4: And I kind of believe him because I made sure

690
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,439
Speaker 4: to take care of him like once a week unless

691
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,199
Speaker 4: it was during my period. Also, he has been asking

692
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 4: me not to divorce and begging for us to work

693
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 4: it out NonStop.

694
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,400
Speaker 1: I don't know why he would do that. I feel like.

695
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 4: He's really trying this poor woman. We have another update

696
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 4: UPDN number five. I think I can see that there's

697
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 4: a high chance that he has spicy sleep with them.

698
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: We're getting there, We're kidding.

699
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 3: I think I can maybe see it's a little higher

700
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 3: than fifty to fifty, not quite a coin flip scenario

701
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 3: state it.

702
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 4: Grows by like ten percent the band likelihood of him

703
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 4: sleeping with these girls.

704
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 2: I'm at sixty forty now.

705
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 1: I could kind of see.

706
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Oh Man.

707
00:27:58,920 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 1: Even though he.

708
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 4: Sounds bad right now, he told me that he only

709
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 4: started doing this last year. Before this, he was really

710
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 4: good to me. We've been married for twenty plus years

711
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,479
Speaker 4: and we have kids. When we first met, my parents

712
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 4: were in debt and he helped us out. He used

713
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 4: to work really, really hard for the sake of the family.

714
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 4: He was a decent human being to me. I swear

715
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 4: this is a lot for me to deal with. So

716
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 4: if you guys tell me to leave him, please let

717
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 4: me know how I can survive.

718
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 1: And update number six.

719
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 4: I know it's hard for you guys to believe, but yes,

720
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 4: I still really care about him. It's not something I

721
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 4: can change because we have been together for a really

722
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 4: long time and we've raised three kids together. I used

723
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 4: to be a really demanding person and he did a

724
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 4: lot for me back then. I did move out of

725
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 4: the house and got my own apartment following the lawyer's advice.

726
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: I still make an effort to see my kids, and

727
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: he comes to see me every week.

728
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 4: Last month, when I went home, he was asleep past

729
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 4: eleven am, and I went through his book bag and

730
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 4: found a second phone and pills with no label. Oh boy,

731
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 4: we're getting into other territory here.

732
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: He told me that he.

733
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 4: Was a regular user of Adderall and spice flower, and

734
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 4: that he takes one hundred milligrams every two hours because

735
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 4: he needs to take all this for work and focus,

736
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 4: otherwise he will think of the bad things he did

737
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 4: to me.

738
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: He says that he buys it on the streets.

739
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 3: Buddy, you're an addiction. I do this because I can't

740
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 3: deal with how much I hurt you. Yeah, well, it's crazy.

741
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 3: This is gonna hurt you too, so you would just

742
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 3: stop hurting her.

743
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

744
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 4: I felt really bad for him because he's still working

745
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 4: hard and trying to keep the company running and he

746
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 4: has to resort to substances to do it.

747
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: And it's all my fault. It's not. It's not. It's

748
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: zero percent. Yes, that's the way.

749
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 4: He said it definitely like if he's already controlling her

750
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 4: and like manipulating her in a way like I knew

751
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 4: she would think that. I knew she would think that

752
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 4: from like otherwise I'll think of the bad things I

753
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 4: did to you. So I'm such a terrible person, right,

754
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 4: So I'm doing this.

755
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 2: I feel so bad, like it's my fault for existing.

756
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, no, no, no no.

757
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 4: So I did, however, try to work things out and

758
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 4: gave one hundred percent of myself after I.

759
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: Found out about his regular use because I felt bad.

760
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 4: But now I'm just having doubts and wondering if this

761
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 4: is what I want or need to do. And his

762
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 4: birthday is next week. We have another update number seven. Sorry,

763
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 4: let me clarify some stuff. I'm sorry if you feel

764
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 4: like I'm trying to defend him. I'm trying to give

765
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 4: as much detail as possible and get a better point

766
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 4: of view from different people. I just wish there was

767
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 4: a way out for me to not hurt anyone and

768
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 4: for him to not want to ruin the business. His

769
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 4: credit has also completely recovered now and it's above six eighty,

770
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 4: and he said that he can get a person alone

771
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 4: up to two million. We have been through a lot together.

772
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 4: I was inappropriately touched by my sister's husband when I

773
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 4: was younger, whoa, and he was there for me. He

774
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 4: confronted that knucklehead and got me through it. Update number

775
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 4: eight This is probably the last update for me. There

776
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 4: were a lot of hateful comments and it really hurts.

777
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 4: I came here to get a different point of view,

778
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 4: and yes, this is my life. Unfortunately, I can see

779
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 4: there is a high chance he had spicy sleep with

780
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 4: other girls.

781
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 1: Now, so please stop.

782
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 4: Telling me that if you guys have any ideas on

783
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 4: how I can find proof one hundred percent, please let

784
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 4: me know that. Instead, I did go to get an

785
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,719
Speaker 4: STD test to see you guys tell me to leave him.

786
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 4: But he told me that if I leave him, he

787
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 4: can't function and the business will go to ruin.

788
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: I just can't do that to my kids.

789
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 3: Continue to talk to this lawyer. He says that the

790
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 3: business is going to fall apart. But here's the thing.

791
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 3: Your name is on all of the business. Yeah, I

792
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 3: know he does most of the work, but whatever the

793
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 3: business is construction. Guess what, you can fire him right

794
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 3: or he can be I'm not sure what kind of

795
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 3: legal custody battle is going to happen over the business.

796
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 2: But I guarantee you.

797
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 3: If he's like taking all of these pills and like

798
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 3: doing all this stuff, and it's like I'm pretty sure,

799
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 3: I don't know, you can probably run that business without

800
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 3: him and then you can outsource another contractor to take

801
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 3: up you know, him doing actually the physical work.

802
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: Exactly.

803
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 4: Definitely, I think it sucks because that is really the

804
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 4: truth of it. If you leave, yeah, he might just

805
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 4: completely fall down this hill and his problems will just

806
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 4: snowball and get so much worse. But like at the

807
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 4: end of the day, you are being involved in those

808
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 4: problems and you're being taken down with him anyway.

809
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

810
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 4: So if someone is not willing to like work on

811
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 4: themselves like this and is just like, you know, putting

812
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 4: themselves further into this negative lifestyle and there's nothing that

813
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 4: they're like doing to help it, and nothing you can

814
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 4: do is helping it, then you have to separate yourself

815
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 4: because it's just you're just gonna get caught. But there

816
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 4: is a little bit more to this story. My oldest

817
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 4: daughter is twenty and doesn't know what to do with

818
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 4: her life. She still needs us and asks us for money,

819
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 4: she wouldn't be able to move out and survive on

820
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 4: her own. My middle child is just about to start

821
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 4: college and her dorm intuition are expensive as well. She

822
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 4: has been set on this career since she was young,

823
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 4: and I can't take this away from her. My youngest son,

824
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 4: he's still a kid and he's going to start college

825
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 4: next year. I can't support them, and he's the only

826
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 4: source of income for them. For the people that left

827
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 4: and got away, how did you make it?

828
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

829
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 3: Here. We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's

830
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 3: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

831
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 4: I did not let my friend and her husband live

832
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 4: with us. She got mad.

833
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 1: She doesn't even go here.

834
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 4: My husband male thirty six, and I female thirty three

835
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,719
Speaker 4: just recently moved a few states over from where we

836
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 4: were living.

837
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: My husband got an amazing job offer and had to

838
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:04,719
Speaker 1: move in two weeks.

839
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 4: We put our home in our previous state up for sale,

840
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 4: and we moved in state in an apartment until our

841
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 4: home sold. By the way, this comes from a Glittering

842
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 4: Bit seventy nine to four and if you want to

843
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the our slash Okay,

844
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 4: storytime separate it. As it turns out, the apartment was

845
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 4: a complete dump, but we made it work until we

846
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 4: bought our home. We went through a lot. The apartment

847
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,959
Speaker 4: had a mold problem, so our health was terrible. I

848
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,479
Speaker 4: was on contract with my previous work from my previous

849
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 4: state and looking for a job locally, but it seemed

850
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 4: like I couldn't get bites on anything. Finally, I landed

851
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 4: an amazing job and our home finally sold, so we

852
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,479
Speaker 4: purchased a home here in our current state. It's a

853
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 4: dream living here. It's a wonderful area, great community, cost

854
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 4: of living is so much better, So we're thriving in

855
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 4: a lot of different ways. My husband and I are

856
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 4: at the point where we are ready to start having

857
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 4: a family, but I do have some health concerns that

858
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 4: caused some problems with that, so we're both going through

859
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 4: that together as a couple. Fast forward, our friends Female

860
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 4: thirty nine and her husband Mail forty five, have been

861
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 4: in the loop about everything and have been wanting to

862
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 4: move over here. They say for a while, but I

863
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 4: think it's only because they heard that we're thriving and

864
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 4: they want a part of it. Any who, They mentioned

865
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 4: that they wanted to move here, and my husband said

866
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 4: that they could live with us temporarily until they bought

867
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 4: a home without really talking to me first about it.

868
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:18,479
Speaker 1: I confronted him about this.

869
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 4: And he recognized that he messed up and apologized. He

870
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 4: did this because his friend has got him a lot

871
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 4: of different jobs, so he feels like he's in a

872
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 4: position now to help. And I think that he did

873
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 4: that without asking me because he felt like it was

874
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 4: the right thing to do. I went ahead and went

875
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 4: along with it because I am best friends with the

876
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 4: wife and my husband is best friends with the husband,

877
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 4: and generally we've gotten along really well with them, so

878
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 4: we thought, Okay, maybe this won't be a problem. Well,

879
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 4: they came to visit us last month. They stayed with

880
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 4: us for a few days while they were looking at

881
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 4: homes in the area. This whole situation just went down

882
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 4: so weirdly and made me realize that I am just

883
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,280
Speaker 4: not on board with this. So they're kind of struggling

884
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 4: for money a little bit, so we didn't want to

885
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 4: go out every night while they were here, so I

886
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 4: suggested let's make dinner at home one night. Well, when

887
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 4: we were doing that, my friends started did to correct

888
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 4: me and the way that I was cutting apples. She

889
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,399
Speaker 4: literally stopped what she was doing to correct the way that.

890
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: I was doing it.

891
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,879
Speaker 4: Then she wanted to make faheta seasoning, so I told

892
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 4: her I have taco seasoning and it's pretty similar. She

893
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 4: mentioned that she has a dairy allergy, so she has

894
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 4: to be careful about the prepackaged products because they have.

895
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: Dairy in it.

896
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 4: So we checked and it didn't have dairy in it.

897
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 4: She proceeds to say, well, I'm still gonna make my own,

898
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 4: and then begins to say, well, you don't have all

899
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 4: the ingredients, the right ingredients, and I have everything. The

900
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,720
Speaker 4: only thing that I didn't have was regular paprika instead

901
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 4: of smoked paprika, which I think I had better. Anyways,

902
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 4: that's no real difference, yeah, like not like a difference

903
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 4: that would actually affect the rest of it.

904
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

905
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,240
Speaker 4: But then after it was all cooked, she kept making

906
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,320
Speaker 4: comments like well, I hope it tastes good because the

907
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 4: ingredients weren't quite right, and that really irritated me.

908
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,399
Speaker 5: That would be very frustrating smoked paprika. Come on, she's

909
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 5: like the time person who'd be like, well, I didn't

910
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 5: have a white pepper. I only had black pepper, so

911
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 5: it's not gonna take it.

912
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 1: She's not gonna taste good. Whatever, it's fine, everything's fine.

913
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,280
Speaker 4: Then she starts going through my house and making plans

914
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 4: of where her and her husband are going to set

915
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 4: up their home office while living with us. And then

916
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 4: she said, I'm not sure why you put us.

917
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 5: In this room because this room is bigger, and dude,

918
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 5: how are you best friends with her? And you didn't

919
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 5: notice any of this behavior. Yeah, that's a good point.

920
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 5: Maybe it just didn't like. This is the first day basically,

921
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 5: or at least the first week that they've been here,

922
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 5: and she's acting.

923
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 4: And then she talked about basically occupying all of our

924
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 4: extra rooms in our house. She really didn't ask me,

925
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 4: she just kind of started making plans, which was another

926
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 4: red flag for me. Then the following week we had

927
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 4: a family over and surprise, my in laws aren't moving

928
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 4: here as well.

929
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 1: What why people need to start paying rent for real? Yeah?

930
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: Stop moving in that's crazy.

931
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 4: They had mentioned that they wanted to move near us,

932
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 4: but probably at the later end of the year.

933
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, near, not in, Yeah, right, But have.

934
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,839
Speaker 4: Since changed their mind and they're moving in August. So

935
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 4: they will need a place to stay, not here. Yeah,

936
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 4: get all right, stay there. So we let our friends

937
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 4: know asap that it's not going to work out this

938
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 4: year because my in laws have to stay with us.

939
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 4: My friend called me and was very short and snappy

940
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 4: at me and said the only reason why we were

941
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 4: wanting to move was because we knew that we had

942
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 4: a place with you.

943
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 1: It can't work out without that.

944
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 4: You knew that we were just about ready to make

945
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 4: decisions on having people install our new floors and fix

946
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 4: our yard in this house so we can put it

947
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 4: on the market. And I was really shaky and felt

948
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 4: so uncomfortable, and I told her I'm.

949
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 1: So sorry, but you know, we need to make sure

950
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: that we have space for our family.

951
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 4: She was really short and snappy at me and practically

952
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 4: hung up on the phone with me basically shut out.

953
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: She texted me shortly after and said, I'm sorry, I'm

954
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: just so emotional right now, and.

955
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 4: Then followed up again saying again, I'm sorry. I just

956
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 4: thought things were all going according to God's plan, but

957
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 4: I guess that's not the case. A week later, I

958
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 4: took some time to mold things over, and I'm trying

959
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,800
Speaker 4: to be as respectful as I can. I'm going through therapy,

960
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 4: so I'm trying to bring up uncomfortable things when they

961
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 4: need to be brought up. So I texted her a

962
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 4: few days later and told her that we just decided

963
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 4: that long term guests aren't a good fit for us anymore.

964
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 4: We're trying to start a family and my husband's family

965
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 4: is going to be living with and they need a

966
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 4: place to stay. And I also mentioned that the phone

967
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 4: call conversation made me very uncomfortable and hurt and made

968
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 4: me feel like she was blaming me for plans not

969
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 4: working out. She then said that she would like to

970
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 4: call and talk about things because she cares too much

971
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 4: about her friendship to let things get this way. I

972
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 4: reassured her that we're still best friends, but this is

973
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 4: something that we're just going to have to do. She

974
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,399
Speaker 4: texted and said that she understood, and then three weeks

975
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 4: later she wants to call and talk to me. I said, sure,

976
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 4: I'll make time on the weekend. Friday rolls around and

977
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 4: I tell my friend, Hey, I have an appointment with

978
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 4: the vet for my dog. It might take a while,

979
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 4: so I want to open up Friday afternoon to talk

980
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 4: if you would like. She follows up and says, no,

981
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 4: she has plans with her husband. I said, no problem.

982
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,439
Speaker 4: So Saturday rolls around, take my dog to the vet.

983
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 4: Text her afterwards and tell her that my dog is

984
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 4: doing better and that we were in line to get

985
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 4: a pup cup for her at Starbucks. She proceeds to

986
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 4: tell me that she took her dog to the vet too,

987
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 4: and then she told me that she got her nails

988
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 4: done and she really liked the design. Conversation stopped from

989
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 4: there though, just avoiding the problem, it seems.

990
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. I waited all day for her to call me,

991
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 1: and she ever called me.

992
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 4: I looked back at her message and thought maybe I

993
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 4: should have been more clear that I was available. So

994
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 4: I texted her that evening and said, hey, I think

995
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 4: I misunderstood your text. I'm totally open to talking now

996
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 4: if you're available or at any point this evening.

997
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 1: She told me, let's check in tomorrow. I said, sure,

998
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:15,399
Speaker 1: no problem.

999
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 5: I'm gonna be honest with you. Oh p, I don't

1000
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 5: think you guys are best friends.

1001
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, this doesn't feel you have friends.

1002
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 5: Sure doesn't feel like best friends to me. Yeah, I'm sorry.

1003
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 5: My friend comes over complains about the Fajida spices. I say, yeah,

1004
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 5: the smoke, FABRICA's fine.

1005
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then we get over there. Yeah.

1006
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,840
Speaker 5: She says, Oh, we're gonna be there forever. I go, okay,

1007
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 5: you're not gonna be here forever. My family's coming.

1008
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 1: I didn't know.

1009
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I'm having way different types of conversations if

1010
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 5: she's my best friend, Yeah, I totally agree. This feels

1011
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 5: like an avoiding problem, like friends that you haven't seen

1012
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 5: in a while and you're kind of awkward it like

1013
00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 5: that's you. Yeah, the not knowing when if they were

1014
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 5: going to call or whatever, I would have been like, hey,

1015
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:03,720
Speaker 5: are we talking?

1016
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, like I calling her up. I wouldn't

1017
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:07,240
Speaker 1: wait until that evening.

1018
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 5: This feels like a relationship, like like the type of

1019
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 5: conversations or type of stuff that happens between like just friends.

1020
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 1: Yeah not no, I'm besties for the resties. I'm just

1021
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 1: being semantic though. There is a little bit more to

1022
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:18,920
Speaker 1: the story.

1023
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 4: So Sunday rolls around and I told her, Hey, I'm

1024
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 4: available to talk anytime after one because I have church.

1025
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: Twelve forty five rolls around.

1026
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 4: I tell her I'm done with church and I'm eating lunch,

1027
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 4: and then afterwards I'm available anytime she is.

1028
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:30,839
Speaker 1: I never hear from her.

1029
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 4: It shows that she read my text message at one

1030
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 4: thirty eight, but never calls me, never texts me, never

1031
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 4: gives me an update. So at this point, I'm pretty

1032
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,760
Speaker 4: frustrated and fed up. I've talked with friends, family members,

1033
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 4: and everyone thinks that I need to keep my distance

1034
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 4: with her. I guess my question is am I to

1035
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 4: a hole for telling them that they can't live with us,

1036
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 4: even if it's temporary? Am I in the wrong here?

1037
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story. But what do

1038
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 4: we think?

1039
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,399
Speaker 1: Do we think OP is the a whole? I think

1040
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: OP is.

1041
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 5: Not the a hole for any of this. I just

1042
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 5: think you've misled us. This is not your best friends

1043
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 5: friend literally just the best friend comment.

1044
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 1: It's not your best friend.

1045
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think even if like she were a

1046
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 4: friend or like just a friend, you know, this is

1047
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 4: a very generous thing that you guys are doing for them,

1048
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 4: like letting them stay over. So I feel like if

1049
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 4: I was in their position, like yeah, maybe I would

1050
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 4: be a little bit blindsided, being like, oh what, like

1051
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 4: I was totally relying on you guys. Yeah, But at

1052
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 4: the same time, it'd be like Okay, but this isn't

1053
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 4: my house. Do a fan like you would have to

1054
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 4: understand be like, yeah, I'm a guest here. This isn't

1055
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 4: like I'm not paying rent, you know, like I'll have

1056
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 4: to figure out something else.

1057
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 5: No. I do think that you need to reassess your

1058
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 5: friendships though, find a natural best friend radar. Yeah.

1059
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 4: But yeah, but that is the end of that story.

1060
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 4: We've got another one coming right up.

1061
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 5: I ended a ten year friendship because she made me

1062
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 5: feel unimportant.

1063
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 1: Oh spaghettios.

1064
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 5: When I was in high school, I had a pretty

1065
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 5: tight knit group of friends. We're all in our mid

1066
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 5: twenties now, and understandably we have all grown apart and

1067
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 5: only see each other on the rare occasion. Like most

1068
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 5: friend groups, I had closer bonds with some more than others,

1069
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 5: and in my case it was let's call them Andy

1070
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 5: and Abby. By the way, this comes from deep Fried writer,

1071
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 5: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

1072
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,760
Speaker 5: to the r slash. Okay, storytime separate.

1073
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 4: So Andy and I are still relatively close, going out

1074
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 4: for drinks whenever we have time to catch up, sending

1075
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,760
Speaker 4: each other major life updates just to keep each other.

1076
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 2: In the loop.

1077
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 5: It's one of those low maintenance friendships that you grow

1078
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,720
Speaker 5: to appreciate so much as life goes on. However, Abby

1079
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 5: and I had different friendship growing up and even into

1080
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,240
Speaker 5: our early twenties, as we lived right around the corner

1081
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 5: from each other and we're just very alike in a sense.

1082
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 5: We'd have sleepovers on school nights, hang out every spare

1083
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 5: second we had, and even when we both got into

1084
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,800
Speaker 5: our current long term relationships.

1085
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 1: We had fun hanging out with the other person and

1086
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 1: their partner.

1087
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 5: I even got her a job at the pot shop

1088
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 5: I worked at until we both got laid off at

1089
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 5: the same time.

1090
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 1: Alameo.

1091
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,919
Speaker 5: Anyways, Abby and I were besties for years, hanging out

1092
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 5: more so with each other than our friend group. As

1093
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 5: I previously mentioned, in our mid twenties, everyone got a

1094
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 5: bit busier and understandably a bit more distant, but we

1095
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 5: still had our Snapchat group chat, and we'd go to

1096
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 5: Abbey's house for summer swims when we were free. My

1097
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 5: birthday is in August, and as a devout homebody, it

1098
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,800
Speaker 5: was a big deal for me to make big birthday plans,

1099
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 5: as it was my twenty fifth birthday and I wanted

1100
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 5: nothing more than to get all the gals together. I

1101
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 5: was rallying people together to get a party bus and

1102
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,880
Speaker 5: managed to get a decent sized group so that the

1103
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 5: cost was affordable for everyone. Since the economy was in

1104
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 5: the crapper and has only gone down from there, I

1105
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 5: double checked with everyone that they were all good to

1106
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 5: pitch the fifty dollars to rent the party bus for

1107
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 5: the night. This was the absolute maximum. A few people

1108
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,439
Speaker 5: were willing to pay, which I completely understood, but if

1109
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 5: just one person dropped out, the fee would go up

1110
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 5: for everyone.

1111
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 1: And it's why my.

1112
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 5: Virgobut double checked everyone was one hundred percent all in. Honestly,

1113
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 5: you should have them all pay you yeah, just say like,

1114
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 5: hey can you ven mummy now?

1115
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1116
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 5: Right, you know, once everyone's like in, I would say like, hey,

1117
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 5: if you're in, could you venmo Yeah? If you have

1118
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 5: to cancel, unfortunately, like you know, we can't.

1119
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but like if we want to do something,

1120
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,760
Speaker 4: we kind of got to pay for it, gotta pay.

1121
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 5: For Once I received all the information, I put in

1122
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 5: a two hundred and fifty dollars non refundable deposit with

1123
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 5: the party bus company and let everyone know that my

1124
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 5: plans were a go, not long after, I got a

1125
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 5: separate text from Abby saying that she could no longer

1126
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 5: come as she had a wedding in September she had

1127
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 5: to save up for now. Normally I'm an overly understanding person,

1128
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 5: but I simply replied with a dry are you serious

1129
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 5: for the following reasons. Hey, Abby was one of my longest,

1130
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 5: closest friends, and having her choose an acquaintance's wedding overcoming

1131
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 5: to my birthday was hurtful. She can pay fifty dollars,

1132
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,839
Speaker 5: Come on, b I double checked with everyone that they

1133
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 5: were still able to go before placing the non refundable deposit.

1134
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 5: Some people, two hundred and fifty dollars is not a

1135
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 5: lot to lose, but as a full time student and

1136
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 5: part time worker, this hurt my wallet, and she confirmed

1137
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 5: she was in See she obviously knew about this wedding

1138
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 5: well in advance, and as plenty of time to save

1139
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 5: or notify me she was not able to come to

1140
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 5: my birthday d I now ought to notify the rest

1141
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,439
Speaker 5: of the group that the price for everyone was going

1142
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 5: to go up because she decided to back out, what

1143
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 5: resulted in the party bus being canceled altogether. She never

1144
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 5: responded to my admittedly passive, aggressive are you serious?

1145
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 1: Text?

1146
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 5: But I still sent her a super sweet follow up

1147
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 5: text explaining that the plans changed to a little pre

1148
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 5: drink in my sister's backyard and going to the club afterwards. However,

1149
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 5: I understood that money was tight for and it would

1150
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 5: make my birthday if she was able to simply show

1151
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 5: up at the pre drink. She never responded to that either,

1152
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:23,360
Speaker 5: and when my birthday came up, not even a simple

1153
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 5: happy Birthday text from my so called best friend Abby.

1154
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,319
Speaker 5: It's safe to say my feelings were hurt because I

1155
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 5: feel as though I was more than forgiving and understanding

1156
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 5: and she was giving me the cold shoulder. I waited

1157
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 5: for weeks for a text from her explaining why she

1158
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 5: didn't come to my birthday or explaining why she hadn't

1159
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 5: reached out sooner, eager.

1160
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: To get past this uncomfortable situation.

1161
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 5: When I didn't hear from her for a couple months,

1162
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 5: I and followed her on pretty much everything because I

1163
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 5: did not feel as though she valued our friendship anymore,

1164
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 5: and frankly was hurt seeing her post with our other

1165
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 5: friends or even reposting stuff to her stories when I

1166
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 5: felt like I was wronged, yet still put myself out

1167
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 5: there just to be ignored. Despite this, I never blocked

1168
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 5: her number because I was still holding out hope that

1169
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 5: she would text me and we could resume our decade

1170
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 5: long friendship. A few more months passed without a word.

1171
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 5: Our group chat was mostly dominated by my friend Marie

1172
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 5: sending updates about her new baby and the occasional Gal

1173
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 5: sending a throwback photo of us in our hood rat

1174
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 5: days or I hope you are all well, and I

1175
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 5: rarely replied because I knew Abby was still hanging out

1176
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 5: with some of the girls and probably told them the

1177
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 5: story with their own skew on things. So it was,

1178
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 5: in my opinion, an elephant in the group chat that

1179
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,279
Speaker 5: I did not want to acknowledge. One night, Andy and

1180
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,479
Speaker 5: I ranging out with some of our other friends having

1181
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 5: a small pre drink before going out, and Andy sent

1182
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 5: a casual snap of it to our group chat. This

1183
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,760
Speaker 5: is when Abby decides to immaturely call me out, not privately,

1184
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 5: but in our group chat, asking why did you block

1185
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 5: me on everything? I'm half in the bag at this

1186
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 5: point and simply wrote, because you didn't say happy birthday

1187
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 5: to me. Sad facewee yang, oh man, you blocked her

1188
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 5: after she didn't say Abby, brother do, even though it

1189
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 5: was way deeper than that, and I deleted her from

1190
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 5: my social media, but my texts were wide open all.

1191
00:46:58,520 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: These many months.

1192
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 5: My other Connie, who moved to another province years ago,

1193
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 5: decided to pipe in, stating dryly half this group chat

1194
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 5: didn't say happy birthday to me, and I didn't block them.

1195
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 5: At that point, I got the sense that Abby and

1196
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 5: Connie were having a convo on the side, plotting this

1197
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 5: weird conversation that I wanted no part of. I then

1198
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 5: explained deeper about my feelings, mentioning that she could have

1199
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,359
Speaker 5: messaged me privately at any point, and that I did

1200
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 5: not feel as though our group chat while I was

1201
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 5: having a couple drinks was the appropriate place to have

1202
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 5: this long awaited conversation.

1203
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:26,919
Speaker 1: We ended up.

1204
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 5: Texting, with her apologizing and saying she was hurt. I

1205
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 5: removed her, with me apologizing and explaining my feelings. It

1206
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 5: felt like we came to an amicable agreement, both admitting

1207
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 5: our wrongs and getting to a good place, but our

1208
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 5: friendship never got back on track. We've texted here and there,

1209
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:43,760
Speaker 5: mostly me saying happy birthday to her and her sending

1210
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 5: me pictures of her engagement. Since so much time has

1211
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 5: gone by, I've really reflected on our friendship, realizing that

1212
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 5: she often made jokes about my insecurities and felt like

1213
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 5: she was always comparing herself to me as we are

1214
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,839
Speaker 5: so similar. Her calling me out in the group chat

1215
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 5: rather than having a private conversation was the finalst for me,

1216
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,400
Speaker 5: as it felt super inappropriate and immature. I've kind of

1217
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 5: gotten used to not having her in my life, but

1218
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 5: of course I miss her and our friendship, and she

1219
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,359
Speaker 5: still lives around the corner. I pass her house all

1220
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 5: the time and think of how unfortunate it is that

1221
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 5: this situation is the reason we don't talk anymore. It

1222
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 5: also sucks because I have missed out on group gatherings

1223
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 5: to avoid seeing her and the type of person that

1224
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 5: can't hide my feelings, so I'd rather miss out than

1225
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 5: make others uncomfortable by my visible anxiety over the situation.

1226
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 5: I respond bi annually in the group chat, and I've

1227
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 5: even missed out on Andy's most recent birthday dinner because

1228
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 5: Abby was there. Do I continue to avoid these situations

1229
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 5: at the expense of my other friendships, or really, finally,

1230
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 5: confront it. Am I the ale for deleting her or

1231
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 5: not making more of an effort to repair our friendship.

1232
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 5: Her wedding is also coming up next year, and while

1233
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 5: I miss her and truly want the best for her

1234
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 5: and her fiance, who I also really like, is a

1235
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 5: person I don't know how to navigate the conversation or

1236
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 5: if I am or am not invited to their wedding.

1237
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 5: Any advice or perspective is appreciated. Do you have any thoughts?

1238
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think definitely confront her, just confronts.

1239
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 5: Confront her because you go to your friends' parties.

1240
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you don't come on.

1241
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 4: You already seem to not want to lose this friendship, Yeah,

1242
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 4: that you've had for so many years, So you can't, like,

1243
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 4: don't don't let yourself lose the other friendships just because

1244
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 4: you like, we're scared to fix this friendship, Like like you.

1245
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: Know what I mean, Like you don't want to lose one. Well,

1246
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: if you keep going this way, you're gonna you're gonna

1247
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 1: lose the bess. It's just frustrating. I think.

1248
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 5: Ope, I'm gonna tell you straight. You need to confront

1249
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 5: your fears. You need to face them, face your fears.

1250
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,280
Speaker 5: You need to face your fears, you need to communicate,

1251
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 5: do all of those things, because right now you're literally

1252
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 5: just sticking your head in the sand, and that's not

1253
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 5: working at it. She knew about this wedding months in

1254
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 5: advance and texted me she couldn't attend my birthday hours

1255
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 5: after confirming the cost and rsvping yes, I responded dryly,

1256
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 5: because I now to tell fifteen other people that the

1257
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 5: price was going up, which was non negotiable, so some fifteen.

1258
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 5: So I therefore had to cancel the party bus these

1259
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 5: two hundred and fifty dollars I could not afford and

1260
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 5: send back money to people who already sent me their shares.

1261
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 5: I also have very bad social anxiety, so the situation

1262
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 5: of even setting up the party was a very big

1263
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 5: deal for me. Thus, having to sort out a whole

1264
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 5: new plan and inform others of the change of plans

1265
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 5: was very overwhelming. Maybe my initial response was kurt, but

1266
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 5: I put aside my feelings and my pride, tried to

1267
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 5: see her side, invited her to the alternate plans, ensuring

1268
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 5: she would not have to put herself out financially, as

1269
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 5: her presence was the only gift I would have wanted.

1270
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 5: My last thoughts are your current solution is talk to her,

1271
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 5: talk to anyone.

1272
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:32,359
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1273
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:34,479
Speaker 5: My other solution, I'm going to do some math really quick.

1274
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 5: So it's about eight hundred and fifty dollars, and then

1275
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 5: maybe she wasn't. I'm assuming she was including the two

1276
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 5: fifty dollars this way.

1277
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, so eight hundred and fifty dollars.

1278
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 5: And then specifically, if the two fifty is divided by seventeen,

1279
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 5: that's fourteen bucks. You literally could have just paid one

1280
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 5: hundred dollars instead of spending two hundred and fifty dollars

1281
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 5: to cancel it.

1282
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my thing, that one. Why didn't we do that?

1283
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,399
Speaker 1: On you open? Maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation, but why

1284
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: didn't we do that? Yeah?

1285
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't if you couldn't afford the two fifty, like,

1286
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 4: then don't save one fifty. Yeah, just pay the hundred.

1287
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,840
Speaker 4: Sorry that it's uncomfortable. You don't have to be higends

1288
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:14,360
Speaker 4: with her.

1289
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 5: You don't have to be besties with her, but like,

1290
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 5: get to a point where you can go to a

1291
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 5: party without avoiding her.

1292
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want adults.

1293
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:22,879
Speaker 4: You want to be an adult adult and be able

1294
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 4: to go to parties when someone you don't like.

1295
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: How much is there?

1296
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've been to so many parties with people I

1297
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 5: don't like. Yep, just to point, don't you don't have

1298
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 5: to talk to them, you just don't.

1299
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 2: HET's John your ogos Here.

1300
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1301
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 3: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1302
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 4: My friend's bride acted horribly at her own wedding. It

1303
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 4: made everyone upset. No one likes to bridezilla.

1304
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:43,920
Speaker 1: I've held on to.

1305
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 4: This one for years. The groom will call him Tim,

1306
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 4: was best friends with my husband. The bride, let's call

1307
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 4: her Kuela, who was unknown to my husband, myself, even

1308
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,919
Speaker 4: the groom's family. Tim met her while working out of state,

1309
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,279
Speaker 4: and according to him, they had everything in common. Okay,

1310
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 4: they had a lot of common, and what they didn't,

1311
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 4: she made sure that he changed his mind on agreeing

1312
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 4: with her. By the way, this comes from a lady command.

1313
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1314
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 4: to the ur slash. Okay, storytime separated it. Tim's parents

1315
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 4: and sister saw this dramatic shift. His best friend saw it,

1316
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 4: even I did. He was arrogant before but few. She

1317
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 4: was even more so without anything to really back it up.

1318
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 4: She was average, but very very arrogant. Average, so I

1319
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 4: don't get asked what I mean by average. She has straight,

1320
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 4: mousey shoulder length hair, no makeup, didn't exercise about five

1321
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 4: three or four. She wore clothes that were stained and

1322
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 4: stretched out, basically comfortable.

1323
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,280
Speaker 1: How she was like so many of us average.

1324
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 4: She wasn't a genius, didn't have an important or a

1325
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 4: high paying job. Just average. Nothing against average. I myself

1326
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 4: am basically average. It just stood out with the arrogance

1327
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,720
Speaker 4: and her actions. Invites went out for a bridal shower

1328
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 4: to be held where she was from a five hour

1329
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:56,280
Speaker 4: drive away from the groom's family.

1330
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 1: Okay, no problem. We carpooled with Tim's family.

1331
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 4: We asked an advance, especially since we had a person

1332
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 4: with lots of pain from travel and another who was elderly,

1333
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 4: if there was somewhere that we could stay if we

1334
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 4: got there early, or even if we needed to spend

1335
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 4: the night. We didn't know the area, so we needed

1336
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 4: some suggestions. Somehow this request offended Gorilla. To this day,

1337
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 4: we have no idea why. But after my husband talked

1338
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 4: with Tim, we got some suggestions and couldn't understand what

1339
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 4: the issue had been. Afterwards, Gorilla apparently convinced Tim somehow

1340
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 4: that this request was everyone being against her and he

1341
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:29,720
Speaker 4: was asking us.

1342
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: To apologize to her. Uh what?

1343
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 4: So Tim's mother, to keep the peace, apologized for being

1344
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 4: elderly and needing these suggestions.

1345
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: So sorry, I'm old. I loved this woman so much.

1346
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 4: Gorilla said that she didn't have time to deal with

1347
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 4: something so trivial, especially with the wedding and shower plans.

1348
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 4: She snapped at Tim's mother over the phone to ask

1349
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,759
Speaker 4: someone else or contact Triple At. Tim's mom rolled with

1350
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,399
Speaker 4: it and just politely put it down to Gorilla being

1351
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 4: nervous and overwhelmed. She told Tim any questions about anything

1352
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 4: from his family or friends they had to ask him,

1353
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 4: not her, and he could get answers for all of us.

1354
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 4: One of the traveling party, me, was allergic to shellfish

1355
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 4: and nuts, so Tim was made aware of this to

1356
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 4: pass along. This part was awesome, even though nothing was

1357
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 4: apparently going to be made with either. Corella demean the

1358
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 4: person to Tim, which he just spewed out at all

1359
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 4: of us during a visit with family and friends. We

1360
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 4: came to help arrange carpool and get rest of his stuff.

1361
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 4: But he went on and on, not even knowing who,

1362
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 4: saying that she had never heard of anyone with those

1363
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:31,880
Speaker 4: kinds of allergies two of the top five, and she'd shelfish,

1364
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,839
Speaker 4: She's never heard of a person with a shellfish largy or.

1365
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 1: A nut allergy.

1366
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 4: Those are the those, aren't Those are like top two

1367
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 4: the allergies.

1368
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:44,400
Speaker 1: Those are the allergies. What. I have multiple friends with

1369
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:45,320
Speaker 1: those allergies.

1370
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:48,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, but she demands that they don't really exist, to

1371
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 4: the extent that she wanted him to make sure of

1372
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 4: who it was and see if he could possibly convince

1373
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:56,439
Speaker 4: them not to come and possibly ruin her fun day,

1374
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 4: even though nothing was even gonna be made.

1375
00:54:58,280 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 1: With them in the first place.

1376
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:02,720
Speaker 5: Nothing's gonna be he even made with those, oh man,

1377
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 5: during this time, just a week now until the shower,

1378
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 5: the wedding invitations went out.

1379
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 1: My husband and I.

1380
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 4: Never got one, though Tim was still talking as if

1381
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 4: we were going, So my husband mentioned that we never

1382
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:14,520
Speaker 4: got an invite. Tim checked the list of the ones

1383
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 4: that were sent, and it was supposed to be so

1384
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:19,280
Speaker 4: he asked Gorilla. She never mailed it because she figured

1385
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,959
Speaker 4: that I was the one who claimed food allergies. Tim

1386
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 4: sent the invite and was upset with Gorilla, but only

1387
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 4: about the invite. Tim told her that it was crappy

1388
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 4: to hold the invite and he didn't want to upset

1389
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 4: his bff. She said, oh, okay, Well tell his wife

1390
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 4: then that she doesn't have to bring me a gift

1391
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 4: to the shower. Then wouldn't be a loss with someone

1392
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,800
Speaker 4: like that, meaning food allergies.

1393
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: Made me a lesser person to her, since she doesn't

1394
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,720
Speaker 1: believe that they exist. We'll move on to the shower.

1395
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 1: I have never been to another like this.

1396
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,759
Speaker 4: When we arrived after five hours on the road, Gorilla

1397
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 4: was in a huddle with her bridesmaids and mother never

1398
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 4: said hello to us, let alone mother in law.

1399
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,279
Speaker 1: No matter how hard mother in law tried.

1400
00:55:57,360 --> 00:56:00,120
Speaker 4: The mother was a very nice person, but the bridesmaids

1401
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 4: not so much. Gorilla and her bridesmaids were just snapping

1402
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 4: at us to sit down already. Apparently the time we

1403
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,359
Speaker 4: arrived twenty minutes early was late to her.

1404
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,239
Speaker 1: She wanted us to arrive an hour before. Why.

1405
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 4: No reason was ever given, and this was never mentioned

1406
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 4: before we all left, but she was pissed off and

1407
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:19,760
Speaker 4: made sure that we sat all the way in the back.

1408
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 4: Even Tim's mother witching the whole time about our inconsideration.

1409
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 4: Who knows what all she said to her bridesmaids, But

1410
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 4: their scowls could have cracked glass. Normally you eat then

1411
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 4: play games, but she wanted to reverse, even though that

1412
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,280
Speaker 4: we were on the road for so many hours NonStop.

1413
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 4: So we rolled with it as long as we could

1414
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:40,400
Speaker 4: have some water. Oh MG, you'd have thought that we

1415
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 4: would ask for a one thousand dollars bottle of champagne,

1416
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 4: she said. We're serving the bottles of water for when

1417
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 4: the food is served. I don't know what to do

1418
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 4: for any of you. We don't have any plastic cups

1419
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 4: or anything, because those are so wasteful.

1420
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 1: To die.

1421
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 4: Necessary medications had to be taken by two of us,

1422
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,720
Speaker 4: So I drove out to a town three miles away.

1423
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 4: I got drinks for our caravan of people. When I

1424
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,600
Speaker 4: got back at bridesmaids were witching about how I was

1425
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 4: holding them up. No, I could have cared less how

1426
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 4: you started without me.

1427
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:11,400
Speaker 1: Well, the games some were regular ones, some were just

1428
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,319
Speaker 1: theirs that they made up. One was a page with

1429
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,359
Speaker 1: different images on it.

1430
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 4: Everyone had their own page, and you had one minute

1431
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 4: to memorize as many items not wedding related weirdly, and

1432
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 4: then we had to flip the paper over using our

1433
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 4: laps as tables.

1434
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 1: Tables were only for food time.

1435
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 4: Apparently, then we had one minute to write everything that

1436
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 4: we could remember. So now pride time. The bridesmaids ask

1437
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 4: how many are written down? Some had eight, nine, ten onward.

1438
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 4: One in our group had twenty three. The bridesmaids bock

1439
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 4: at this and are telling the whole room how they

1440
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 4: must have been cheating or have gibberish written down. They

1441
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 4: have everyone write their names on their pages, hand them in,

1442
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:47,800
Speaker 4: and they're going to check them and make sure that

1443
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 4: only people who had right answers are awarded a prize.

1444
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 4: We had to sit while they took about fifteen minutes

1445
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 4: to check all the lists. It's a shower, not a

1446
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:58,320
Speaker 4: standardized test. I can understand if the prizes were one

1447
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 4: hundred dollars or more, gift cards, nice jewelry, or something

1448
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 4: of significant value, as I know happens at some showers

1449
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 4: doing this. They had over fifty prizes unwrapped so we

1450
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:12,439
Speaker 4: could see them all from the dollar tree, and most

1451
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 4: of them were from multiple packs.

1452
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 1: Being given individually. There were six games.

1453
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 4: To accuse the future mother in law and sister in

1454
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 4: law of being cheaters was truly heinous, but being the

1455
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 4: laid back folk that we were, we gave each other

1456
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 4: humored looks and basically at this point knew that we

1457
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 4: would have plenty of laughter material for the way home

1458
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 4: and for years later. Each game was done the same,

1459
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 4: but after the second game, friends of Corilla were told

1460
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 4: that theirs didn't have to have graded. Only out of

1461
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 4: area folks did. Last game, I was a high scorer.

1462
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 4: I don't even remember what the game was. Gorilla loudly

1463
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 4: told the bridesmaids to not check mine grabs one of

1464
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:53,560
Speaker 4: like twenty remaining prizes, walks over and says, since I

1465
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,920
Speaker 4: didn't send out your invitation with others, here you go.

1466
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 4: Oh and since that happened, you didn't have to bring

1467
00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:00,920
Speaker 4: me a present. Oh but I saw you right, so

1468
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 4: wedding present. Then I know that they can be difficult

1469
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 4: for some, I answer with a big smile, Well, while

1470
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 4: it's encouraged to bring gift to a shower, it's actually

1471
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 4: not a requirement. I don't have to give you a

1472
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 4: gift if I choose not to we all went in

1473
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 4: together on your gift, but thanks for the prize. She

1474
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 4: knew Tim before my husband and I got married, but

1475
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 4: was not at our wedding. She kept making weird statements

1476
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 4: about how she got away with not having to get

1477
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 4: us a wedding gift.

1478
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: Why no idea? And now for the food, Oh my gosh,

1479
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 1: it just never ends. Oh my gosh.

1480
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 4: It was all little cutcakes and cookies, all desserts, with

1481
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 4: one of us out of towners being diabetic, and she

1482
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,919
Speaker 4: knew this just like allergies, she believed that they didn't

1483
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 4: really exist. This is all that we were given to

1484
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 4: eat for over nine hours until we could find somewhere

1485
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:48,440
Speaker 4: to stop. And there were nuts everywhere, dusted on each dessert.

1486
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 4: The snacks were bowls of different nuts, and Corilla and

1487
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 4: her bridesmaids.

1488
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 1: All giggled, just messed up people.

1489
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 4: As the wedding drew closer, she and her bridesmaids got

1490
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 4: more and more obnoxious to Tim's mother insists they were

1491
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 4: gracious to Gorilla and saved any upset to help not

1492
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:05,880
Speaker 4: make Tim's day worse.

1493
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:07,760
Speaker 1: But I don't want to just get on the phone

1494
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,520
Speaker 1: with these people. No, I want to be in a

1495
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 1: wrestling ring with you.

1496
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 5: I wanna, I want to, I wanna, Yeah, yeah, let

1497
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 5: me coach, let me in there.

1498
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: They just suck.

1499
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,320
Speaker 5: There's no redeeming qualities to these people. No, I don't

1500
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 5: want to be at their wedding. No, I'm telling my husband, hey,

1501
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 5: I can't go to any of these events.

1502
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 1: They suck. I fear for my life.

1503
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 4: There is a little bit more to the story, though,

1504
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 4: so we were so upset for Tim's mother, especially since

1505
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 4: this was her new daughter in law, so we decided

1506
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 4: to take Gorilla up on her offer about the gift.

1507
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: My husband found the biggest box at work that he could.

1508
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 4: It barely fit into our car, but I had wrapped

1509
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 4: it very prettily. Eventually, at the reception, she saw the

1510
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 4: box and asked loudly what could be inside with this

1511
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 4: expecting look on her face, while in front of half

1512
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 4: of the guests, hoping upon hope that she had somehow

1513
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 4: just won the lottery of gifts from laid back person

1514
01:00:57,200 --> 01:01:00,440
Speaker 4: whom she was such a beach to. My husband answered,

1515
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 4: in his loud voice, same thing you got us.

1516
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 1: Different color.

1517
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 4: Look on her face was priceless as the recognition of

1518
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 4: the answer sunk in Tim got the gag and actually

1519
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 4: loved it.

1520
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 1: Yes, my husband is still BFFs with Tim. Yes, Tim

1521
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 1: and his wife are both still.

1522
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 4: Full of themselves, and that is the end of the

1523
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 4: bfree with Tim.

1524
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:20,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1525
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 1: I feel like Tim seems like he's very much stuck

1526
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 1: in this relationship.

1527
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 4: I doubt he's actually happy, but he's still being you know,

1528
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 4: he's still not being a good friend.

1529
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 5: And also O P literally just said Tim and his

1530
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 5: wife are still full of themselves.

1531
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, so if Tim is full of himself too, like Tim,

1532
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 4: what's going on? If he's as full of himself as

1533
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:43,439
Speaker 4: his wife, then girl get out of there.

1534
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:45,920
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Yeah, oh my gosh. But that is

1535
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 1: the end of that story and the end of that episode.

1536
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 1: It's true.