Speaker 1: Burn attention Beck to cast listeners.
Speaker 2: We're going on tour.
Speaker 1: We really are. And it's not just any tour. It's
Speaker 1: a tour in the UK and it's a tour where
Speaker 1: we are covering Titanic and.
Speaker 2: Shrek brilliantly titled the Shrek Tannic Tour. Yes, Shrek Tornic.
Speaker 2: We're working on it. There's a couple there's a couple
Speaker 2: months before the tour, but yes, we're really excited. We're
Speaker 2: currently doing five shows in the UK, with more shows
Speaker 2: to be added. Stay tuned at the end of May.
Speaker 1: Yes, starting with two shows in London on May twenty second,
Speaker 1: once at six point thirty that's a Shrek show, one
Speaker 1: at nine pm that is a Titanic show. Then we
Speaker 1: are scooting over to Oxford on May twenty fourth we
Speaker 1: are covering Titanic. Okay, Then we're scooting up to Edinburgh
Speaker 1: on May twenty sixth and doing Shtrek.
Speaker 2: If you're a Scottish Titanic fan, you are going to
Speaker 2: have to commute. And I know that that's not but listen, yeah,
Speaker 2: you live in Edinburgh recovering Shrek.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but also you're welcome. And then
Speaker 1: if you do want to see Titanic somewhere nearby, you
Speaker 1: can head down to Manchester. We're doing a show on
Speaker 1: May twenty eighth, and that's a Titanic show. So yeah,
Speaker 1: you're just gonna want to come to kind of all
Speaker 1: of them if you live in the UK, if you
Speaker 1: live kind of anywhere in Europe, or sort of just
Speaker 1: anywhere in the world.
Speaker 2: As your Bechdel Cast allies in the US can attest to.
Speaker 2: Our live shows are super fun. It is like a
Speaker 2: live episode plus a bunch of fun stuff. We dress up,
Speaker 2: we bring audience members on stage sometimes we do. It's
Speaker 2: just it's big and goofy and silly, and we're covering
Speaker 2: two of our favorite movies that are Bechdel Cast can
Speaker 2: and so we want to have a good time. We'll
Speaker 2: be bringing exclusive merch and we will be doing meet
Speaker 2: and greets before and after the show. We want to
Speaker 2: meet everybody, and we're really really excited. And tickets are
Speaker 2: already going fast because we released it to matrons first,
Speaker 2: plugging the Patreon really quick.
Speaker 1: Little perk for the matrons.
Speaker 2: Yep, So if you live in those areas, get those
Speaker 2: dang tickets because these shows will sell out.
Speaker 1: Yes, they will, so head over to our link Tree
Speaker 1: Link Tree slash Bechtel Cast. All the tickets are posted
Speaker 1: there and like we said, we're working on at least
Speaker 1: one more show in a different city, so stay tuned.
Speaker 1: We're hoping to announce that soon and otherwise, grab your
Speaker 1: tickets for the Shrek Tanic.
Speaker 2: And enjoy the episode.
Speaker 3: On the doodcast, the questions asked if movies have women
Speaker 3: and are all the discussions just boyfriends and husbands or
Speaker 3: do they have individualism? It's the patriarchy, zeph and Vast
Speaker 3: start changing it with the Bechdel Cast.
Speaker 1: Happy Valentine, Jamie.
Speaker 2: No, Caitlin, I'm having and I hate Valentine's Day party?
Speaker 2: And guess what. It's at a restaurant where, for some reason,
Speaker 2: my party's double booked with a wedding reception. Sorry. Oh,
Speaker 2: do you think they were gonna put up a curtain
Speaker 2: or a partition between these two parties? No, the parties
Speaker 2: are facing each other for some reason.
Speaker 1: Well, sounds like a nice time.
Speaker 2: Wait, what is the name of the god my brain
Speaker 2: is gonna be confetti today? Romeo Midnight. That's the name
Speaker 2: of the DJ. The DJ Gary Marshall's where he's like, hey,
Speaker 2: all you Los Angeles fuckers, Like, who's ready to fuck?
Speaker 2: It's Valentine's Day. You're like, lash, welcome to the Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day episode.
Speaker 1: A day earlier than normal. Normally we release episodes on Thursdays.
Speaker 1: But it's a special day. Today's Wednesday, and you're getting
Speaker 1: a Valentine's Day episode early on the movie Valentine's Day Day.
Speaker 2: Good lord. I feel like this has to be the
Speaker 2: last contemporary movie like this, right, the last. Gary Marshall
Speaker 2: thinking that he's gonna read I mean, and may he
Speaker 2: rest in peace. He made some.
Speaker 1: Good stuff, not this, but not in the past. Well,
Speaker 1: he's dead decade and a half.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, to be fair, Cale, he's been dead
Speaker 2: for eight of those years since we will look you
Speaker 2: sure God has asked though, No, I mean I love
Speaker 2: Gary Marshall. I mean, for crying out loud, the man
Speaker 2: directed the Princess Diaries. Like, let's be serious, and you
Speaker 2: can tell he directed the Princess Diaries because there's three
Speaker 2: Princess Diaries cast members in this movie.
Speaker 1: Wait, obviously Anne Hathaway, but who.
Speaker 2: Joe Hector Ellis, Oh yeah, Joe, just Joe. And this
Speaker 2: one is harder but Paolo Putneska is also in this movie.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's at the Southwest gate at the airport being
Speaker 1: like this counter is for oversized luggage only.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, say what you will love about Gary Marshall,
Speaker 2: including he's a legend and he's dead but and uh huh,
Speaker 2: he's loyal to his character actors. He also made Happy Days.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: It's like late Gary Marshall. For some reason, he spent
Speaker 2: the last years of his career trying to realchemize love. Actually,
Speaker 2: yes he did, and I'm realizing, Caitlin. Unfortunately, there is
Speaker 2: one more that we have. It's not with this many
Speaker 2: cast members, but there is a Gary Marshall movie called
Speaker 2: Mother's Day. Oh well that was I believe his last
Speaker 2: film credit brutal.
Speaker 1: I guess we've got something we have to cover in anyways.
Speaker 2: Anyway, So to be clear, we are fans of these
Speaker 2: movies because they are some of the most fun episodes.
Speaker 1: Because we've already covered New Year's Eve, Yes, but Gary
Speaker 1: Marshall ensemble cast movie from twenty eleven.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then we've also covered Princess Diaries. That might
Speaker 2: have been the only other Gary Marshall movie we've covered.
Speaker 1: Because we have not done Pretty Woman yet.
Speaker 2: No. Oh, he also has Pretty Woman loyalty in.
Speaker 1: This Julia Roberts is in the movie.
Speaker 2: I would say Julia Roberts is perhaps doing him a favor. God,
Speaker 2: so many late twists in this movie. I can't wait.
Speaker 2: I was writing down all of the twists at the
Speaker 2: end where you're like, the twist is Bradley Cooper is gay.
Speaker 2: The twist is Julia Roberts is not dead. The twist
Speaker 2: is that the kid was in love with Jennifer Garner,
Speaker 2: like you're just like, every twist more baffling than the last.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh.
Speaker 2: Also, Gary Marshall directed Overboard, which we haven't covered.
Speaker 1: We have not covered. We have covered Runaway Bride, which
Speaker 1: we have he directed. Did he also not direct A
Speaker 1: League of Their Own, which we have covered?
Speaker 2: No, that is a Penny Marshall movie. Oh, oh, silly me?
Speaker 1: How dare I wow erasing women's work classic Caitlin Durante?
Speaker 2: No, I mean? Which is another cool element of Gary Marshall.
Speaker 2: Maybe the coolest thing about him is that he is
Speaker 2: Penny Marshall's brother, and we love Penny Marshall, and heways like,
Speaker 2: you know, part of a Hollywood dynasty. Has directed a
Speaker 2: lot of great stuff, and also this movie that we're
Speaker 2: covering today, I would be really curious, like outside of
Speaker 2: trying to realchimize like make American Love actually over and over,
Speaker 2: like what the motivation is. Maybe at some point in
Speaker 2: your career, if you're getting older, you just want to
Speaker 2: like have fun and hang out with all of your
Speaker 2: cool Hollywood friends and the quality is not as important.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm like kind of unbothered. I'm bothered
Speaker 2: by a lot of specific things in this movie. Conceptually,
Speaker 2: I do think that right now, now, more than ever,
Speaker 2: there is a desire for smooth brained entertainment of this ILK. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because life is hard.
Speaker 1: Life is so hard and we need an escape.
Speaker 2: But also watching this movie is hard, so it's challenging. Oh,
Speaker 2: should we explain what the Bechtel test is? I guess
Speaker 2: all right, all right, all right, we'll tell you what
Speaker 2: this show is. You win. Also, my name is Jamie.
Speaker 1: And my name is Caitlin, and this is the Bechtel Cast,
Speaker 1: where we examine movies through an intersectional feminist lens, using
Speaker 1: the Bechtel test as a jumping off point. But Jamie,
Speaker 1: what is that?
Speaker 2: Well, the Bechtel Test is a media metric created by
Speaker 2: queer cartoonist Alison Bechdel, often called the Bechdel Wallace Test
Speaker 2: due to it being created with Liz Wallace. It was
Speaker 2: originally put into Bechtel's comic strip Dikes To Watch Out For.
Speaker 2: It has since become kind of an iconic media metric
Speaker 2: that has been used in a lot of things, including
Speaker 2: this show. Sometimes at the end of every episode we
Speaker 2: use it as a jumping off point for discussion. You
Speaker 2: talk about larger intersectional issues today inside of the movie
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day, I will say, you know, just leading with
Speaker 2: this that this movie does pass the Bechdel Test.
Speaker 1: It does.
Speaker 2: The ways in which it passes are really weird. Sometimes
Speaker 2: between Ann Hathaway and Queen Latifa talking about sports marketing,
Speaker 2: it's such a rom comp thing sports marketing, You're just like, what, okay, okay, yes,
Speaker 2: what is your history with Valentine's Day? Gary Marshall, twenty ten.
Speaker 1: You'll never believe this, but all I had seen this
Speaker 1: movie before. I don't know what on earth would have
Speaker 1: ever compelled me to watch it.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I think it might have been because people were just
Speaker 1: they were up in arms about the Taylor Latner and
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift of it all.
Speaker 2: That's the main thing I remember from this was that
Speaker 2: unbelievably effective marketing.
Speaker 1: Yes, but that still wouldn't have compelled me to watch
Speaker 1: this movie because like, I like Taylor Swift, I think
Speaker 1: she's talented, but I'm also like, I wouldn't call myself
Speaker 1: a Swifty. I'm not enough of a fan to really
Speaker 1: engage with her music that much, so that wouldn't even
Speaker 1: been it. Like, I don't know why on earth I
Speaker 1: would have ever watched this movie.
Speaker 2: But I did.
Speaker 1: But I didn't even know that until I started prepping
Speaker 1: for this episode. I was like, wow, all of this
Speaker 1: is familiar. I apparently watched this within the past three years. Why, though,
Speaker 1: why did I do that? We'll never know?
Speaker 2: Why did you do that? Were you getting ready for her?
Speaker 2: I Hate Valentine's Day Party? Sorry, of the many like hysteric,
Speaker 2: baffling phrases that this script turns out, there's so many
Speaker 2: good ones. The I Hate Valentine's Day Party is one
Speaker 2: of my favorite ones because it's just like clunky, clunky, clunky,
Speaker 2: and people keep saying, are you going to the I
Speaker 2: Hate Valentine's Day Party? It's no I'm gay and I'm
Speaker 2: gonna play. That's a pretty iconic line that happens in
Speaker 2: this movie. It sure does, I mean talk about trailblazing.
Speaker 2: I'm gay and I'm gonna play. I had an explosion
Speaker 2: of emotion when he said I'm gay and I'm gonna play.
Speaker 2: So you had seen this movie.
Speaker 1: I really had more than once, just that one time, okay,
Speaker 1: and now twice more to prep for this episode. Love
Speaker 1: it and I don't like that that's true about me?
Speaker 1: What is your relationship with this movie?
Speaker 2: I didn't see this, but I was kind of surprised
Speaker 2: because I was in high school when this movie came out,
Speaker 2: Like theoretically I could have seen it, but I think
Speaker 2: I got I remember specifically seeing He's just not that
Speaker 2: into You, which is this same formula of a million
Speaker 2: storylines that we have covered, and I think after I
Speaker 2: saw that, I was like, I'm good on this format
Speaker 2: and I just did not go to see this movie fair.
Speaker 2: The thing I also remember about this movie was the
Speaker 2: Taylor Taylor marketing Yes, which makes sense because they kind
Speaker 2: of are the big millennial draw of this movie. It
Speaker 2: like most of this cast appeals to Gen X, if
Speaker 2: not boomers, with the casting. So it's like we had
Speaker 2: the tailors. If you weren't hooked by the tailors.
Speaker 1: Maybe Ashton Kutcher would have brought you in if you
Speaker 1: were a younger.
Speaker 2: Even then, it was like tofer Grace and Ashton Kutcher,
Speaker 2: like that seventies show had kind of come and gone
Speaker 2: at that point. I think it was over.
Speaker 1: Well definitely, But when I was in high school, I
Speaker 1: was watching that seventy show. So if you're if you're
Speaker 1: an elder millennial such as.
Speaker 2: Myself, maybe you would shot up for them.
Speaker 1: I would have maybe shown up for them.
Speaker 2: You have, you know, a lot of two thousands fixtures.
Speaker 2: You have McDreamy, you have Jessica Alba, you have Jessica Beal.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna read off the cast really quick, just so,
Speaker 2: and are you comfortable with I'm not gonna know what
Speaker 2: the character names are.
Speaker 1: No, I okay, I did what I did last time
Speaker 1: for the New Year's Eve episode. I'm using strictly actors'
Speaker 1: names and zero characters.
Speaker 2: Names, although I am going to toss some of the
Speaker 2: names out because they are the most rom commified gobbltycook ever.
Speaker 2: Jessica Alba as Morley Clarkson, You're like, what is Yeah,
Speaker 2: sorry about Morley Clarkson and sorry to all our Morley
Speaker 2: Clarkson listeners out there, but that name is very fake.
Speaker 1: We have one million Morley Clarkson's who just unsubscribed, Like,
Speaker 1: how dare you.
Speaker 2: Not all Morley's would break up with? Ashton Kutcher, Okay,
Speaker 2: Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica, Bill, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane.
Speaker 2: I don't remember who that is, but he's gay, he's
Speaker 2: gonna play.
Speaker 1: Wait, we just covered a movie that he was in.
Speaker 1: He's in Burlesque that we covered on the Matreon.
Speaker 2: I didn't know who he was then. I don't know
Speaker 2: who he is now, with all due respect to him.
Speaker 2: I guess he's on Euphoria, which I haven't watched.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's I think Jacob Ellerty's dad.
Speaker 2: We love that for him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've only seen one and a half episodes of
Speaker 1: that show. And then I was like, this hurts my feelings.
Speaker 1: I have to stop.
Speaker 2: I just simply didn't watch it. And if that makes
Speaker 2: me old, I don't want to be young. Anyways. In
Speaker 2: this movie, Eric Dane's gay, He's gonna play. Then we
Speaker 2: have Patrick Dempsey, Hector, Elizondo aka Joe for Princess Diaries,
Speaker 2: Jamie Fox, Jennifer Garner, tofer Grace and Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher,
Speaker 2: Queen Latifah, Taylor Lowner, George Lopez, Shirley McLean. Really confusing,
Speaker 2: assuming she was doing him a favor, assuming they've worked
Speaker 2: together before. Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts and Taylor Swift. Wow,
Speaker 2: five thousand people. It's one of those movies and we
Speaker 2: don't like love actually no, and this is like, I
Speaker 2: don't know. At least this one is like so smooth
Speaker 2: brain that I'm like.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know love actually, whether you like it
Speaker 1: or not, at least it's like mostly coherent. This movie
Speaker 1: is not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I just love how incoherent this movie is.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give it five nipples no matter what.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna give it negative five just to counteract.
Speaker 2: That, oh so much of this. They open with Morley Clarkson, well,
Speaker 2: I guess it should be. Should we get into it? Yeah,
Speaker 2: before you start the recap, I did just whatever. If
Speaker 2: you're listening, you know the format of these movies. You
Speaker 2: see little vignette. Every scene is forty five seconds long,
Speaker 2: and something really dramatic happens in forty five seconds and
Speaker 2: then they keep it pushing. Yeah, but like in this one,
Speaker 2: it's the first three scenes you see are I believe,
Speaker 2: three white hetero couples in bed and something important happens
Speaker 2: while the man is standing up and the woman is
Speaker 2: lying down.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't even there's no variety.
Speaker 2: There's no variety in what is happening in these seas.
Speaker 1: The second time I watched this movie, I was kind
Speaker 1: of only just listening to the dialogue and not actually
Speaker 1: looking at my screen because it's feels so visually uninteresting
Speaker 1: and it doesn't really matter what's taking place on screen
Speaker 1: because it's just like.
Speaker 2: Although sometimes there's good stuff though, like every time they
Speaker 2: show the tailor swift bear, which looks to me not
Speaker 2: to but like it looks like, I don't know why
Speaker 2: I kept writing down like horcrux bear, Like it just
Speaker 2: looks like something is something evil is inside of it.
Speaker 2: And then they do this, like at the end of
Speaker 2: the Incredible Story in between the Tailors, they end it
Speaker 2: with like this lingering shot on the bear, and it
Speaker 2: just kind of felt like Muthriagan to me. H Lotters
Speaker 2: got camera's and the bear I'm calling it.
Speaker 1: I don't know when this movie's coming out, but there's
Speaker 1: that movie Imaginary Okay. There are two movies coming out
Speaker 1: this year that are both about imaginary friends. One is
Speaker 1: like an animated movie for like children, okay, and one
Speaker 1: is a horror movie where a little girl has a
Speaker 1: little stuffed bear who her like demons spirit imaginary friend
Speaker 1: lives inside and he like makes her do evil things.
Speaker 1: And so it's kind of like that.
Speaker 2: Now we're talking. I love that shit. That's I think
Speaker 2: that that is the energy I was getting from the
Speaker 2: Taylor Lotder Taylor Swift bear, and also from the Taylor
Speaker 2: Lotterer Taylor Swift relationship in general, which it's so like,
Speaker 2: I'll go this is one of our goofy episodes that
Speaker 2: we do every year. I'm gonna go ahead and plug
Speaker 2: one of my favorite podcasts two Weekly and also Less
Speaker 2: called Juristas, where they both discussed the recent resurgence of
Speaker 2: Taylor Taylor. Because now, Taylor Lotner, I've said many times
Speaker 2: on the show, he bought around at the chaw Chaw
Speaker 2: Lounge once. That's not something you know someone who's doing
Speaker 2: well would.
Speaker 1: Do or it's someone who's doing great.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, though, would you I was talking about
Speaker 2: this with friend of the show Melissa Lozada Oliva last night.
Speaker 2: When you buy around for the bar at the chaw
Speaker 2: Chaw Lounge on a Wednesday, you have effectively spent thirty
Speaker 2: six dollars. So are you doing great? You know it's
Speaker 2: not the baller move, it's it seems to be anyways,
Speaker 2: all love to Taylor Lotner. But it's so wild because like,
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift is forty times more famous than she was
Speaker 2: when she was in this movie, and she was already
Speaker 2: really famous. Yeah, and now Taylor Lotner like did a
Speaker 2: backflip at a screening of the Taylor Swift Concert movie recently. Wow,
Speaker 2: have you seen that video? No?
Speaker 1: I haven't.
Speaker 2: It's kind of awesome it, Like, I mean, all shade aside,
Speaker 2: Taylor Londer is a very funny. He seems like a
Speaker 2: good sport. But like, why did he go to the
Speaker 2: AMC and do a backflip? Oh?
Speaker 1: He did it at the AMC.
Speaker 2: He did it just like around civilians. He just like
Speaker 2: went to Burbank and did a backflip. And also everyone
Speaker 2: was like, oh the Taylor Taylor relationship is even in
Speaker 2: the blueper reel, and for some reason, I know it's
Speaker 2: come up on this show. Before Taylor Lotner married a
Speaker 2: woman named Taylor the Taylor's lot.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right.
Speaker 2: So he just seems I don't know, he seems maybe lovely,
Speaker 2: but also like, what's going on with that guy? He
Speaker 2: did a backflip at the AMC. That's all I'll say. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's the like varying levels of fame that they're at
Speaker 2: these days. She's at like billionaire global pop star getting
Speaker 2: regularly rightfully criticized for her carbon footprint. Famous. Taylor Lotner, meanwhile,
Speaker 2: backflip at the AMC. Burbank awesome.
Speaker 1: And let's not forget the crime he committed by in
Speaker 1: five I have Twilight Movies playing an indigenous character when
Speaker 1: he is not indigenous.
Speaker 2: Yes, I mean I also still mainly blame the production
Speaker 2: for that because he was like a teenager when he
Speaker 2: started doing this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, many mistakes were made, but let's take a quick
Speaker 1: break and then come back for the recap.
Speaker 2: And we're back. I am curious if I don't know
Speaker 2: if Taylor Latner has ever commented on being cast as
Speaker 2: a indigenous character. Down the line, because I do feel
Speaker 2: like he has a responsibility to, you know, comment on
Speaker 2: it at some point. You know, when you're a teenager,
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, the adults in the room need to
Speaker 2: make the right decision and not cast him. But I
Speaker 2: just wonder. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I will have to look into that. In any case.
Speaker 1: Here is the recap for the movie Valentine's Day. Like
Speaker 1: I mentioned, I will be referring to the characters as
Speaker 1: their actors' names because there are one thousand characters and
Speaker 1: zero of them are memorable. So yay, I'll be using
Speaker 1: the actors' names. Okay. So the story takes place in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Ever heard of it?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And guess what day it is?
Speaker 2: Oh, they won't stop reminding you.
Speaker 1: Is Valentine's Day. First we meet Ashton Kutcher. He proposes
Speaker 1: to his girlfriend Jessica Alba, and she says yes, and
Speaker 1: then he's like we yeah.
Speaker 2: This is the first scene where women in the bed,
Speaker 2: guy out of the bed. Forty five second scene, something
Speaker 2: critical happens. The baffling part of this scene is that
Speaker 2: Jessica Alba has like perfect hair that is down when
Speaker 2: she wakes up.
Speaker 1: And makeup perfect just everything. She's stunning.
Speaker 2: I mean, God, bless, I would like to live in
Speaker 2: this world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so Ashton Kutcher is so excited.
Speaker 2: To be engaged. Also, he's a florist.
Speaker 1: Yes, he goes to work. He's a florist. His colleague
Speaker 1: is George Lopez, and they're doing lower stuff.
Speaker 2: George Lopez iconically is an authority on love and the
Speaker 2: poetry of Roumy in this movie, and he also is
Speaker 2: constantly referencing this wife that he's in love with, who
Speaker 2: never speaks. At the very end she does appear correct,
Speaker 2: but for most of the movie it again, just if
Speaker 2: we're reframing this is a horror movie. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: don't necessarily think this wife exists, and if she does,
Speaker 2: I don't know that she's alive.
Speaker 1: Imaginary friend, more like imaginary wife. Where's that movie?
Speaker 2: Probably on tub?
Speaker 1: That movie is called The Joker Got Their Ass?
Speaker 2: Oh it?
Speaker 1: Oh okay. So then we meet Jamie Fox. He's a
Speaker 1: sports journalist at a local news station and his boss,
Speaker 1: Kathy Bates, wants him to cover Valentine's Day stories, even
Speaker 1: though that's not his job.
Speaker 2: Kathy Bates was available for forty five minutes to shoot
Speaker 2: this she is in two seeds that are in the
Speaker 2: exact same location.
Speaker 1: Awesome, yeah, so cool. So Jamie Fox goes to the
Speaker 1: flower market and ends up interviewing Ashton Kutcher.
Speaker 2: Sure, yes, not before something racist happens. But we'll get
Speaker 2: back to those.
Speaker 1: Oh, we'll get there. Yeah. Then we meet Patrick Dempsey.
Speaker 1: He is a doctor, not unlike his job on Gray's Anatomy. Right,
Speaker 1: I've never seen that show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were not pushing him up.
Speaker 1: He is dating Jennifer Garner, but he can't spend Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day with her because he has to fly to San
Speaker 1: Francisco for a surgery or something. Then we meet tofer
Speaker 1: Grace and Anne Hathaway another there you wake up in
Speaker 1: bed together.
Speaker 2: Yes? Oh wait, I forgot to say. The interesting thing
Speaker 2: about this scene with Patrick Dempsey and Jennifer Garner is
Speaker 2: that she is eating an apple in bed first thing
Speaker 2: in the morning.
Speaker 1: Well, that's to set up an amazing metaphor. Jamie, tell
Speaker 1: me if you can understand this visual metaphor.
Speaker 2: I was hoping that this would come up organically. Please, yes,
Speaker 2: here we go. So, in a number of scenes, we
Speaker 2: see Patrick Dempsey's character juggling pieces of fruit and it's
Speaker 2: to symbolize the fact that his character is also juggling
Speaker 2: two different relationships, do you understand. I think it's really
Speaker 2: important that they get the metaphor across exclusively by comparing
Speaker 2: women to objects, to pieces of fruit at least, you know,
Speaker 2: beautiful organic objects. The metaphor is not lost on me.
Speaker 2: And also the stark visual of a woman eating an
Speaker 2: apple in bed at seven in the morning, My gums
Speaker 2: would be gushing. It would be being a blood bath.
Speaker 2: So I just I love I love movie. I love
Speaker 2: it movie. No one has gum disease in movie.
Speaker 1: Oh but they're too hot, they're too sexy. Okay, So
Speaker 1: we meet Tofah Grace and Anne Hathaway. We find out
Speaker 1: later that they've been dating for a couple weeks.
Speaker 2: The weird thing she's doing is taking polaroid pictures of
Speaker 2: him in bed like a serial killer. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, they're smooching, but then she has to leave in
Speaker 1: a big hurry because surprise, she is a phone sex
Speaker 1: operator who needs to take a.
Speaker 2: Call, but she also has several other jobs. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is like contextualized in the story, but just the
Speaker 2: way it's ritten, and I get like this movie came
Speaker 2: out during the recession. It was like badly written timely
Speaker 2: commentary on.
Speaker 4: Like millennials trying to be adults in the world, but
Speaker 4: it's hard. She's just like sneaking out of her job
Speaker 4: at Queen Latifa World to loudly take the.
Speaker 2: Phone sex operator calls, and it was just like, this
Speaker 2: is just not how it would go. Surely there's a
Speaker 2: break room. She's like in front of Queen Latifa's door.
Speaker 1: Yes, I have a list of just like what the
Speaker 1: fuck okay things that happened in this movie, and that
Speaker 1: is on my list. I will perfect go over the
Speaker 1: list later on love it. But yes, none of that
Speaker 1: makes sense, not slick. No. So then we meet Shirley
Speaker 1: McLain and Hector Elizondo. They have been married for many years.
Speaker 1: They have a young grandson who goes to Ashton Kutcher's
Speaker 1: flower shop to order roses for the girl at school
Speaker 1: who he's in love with. Then we meet Julia Roberts
Speaker 1: and Bradley Cooper. They are strangers sitting on a plane
Speaker 1: next to each other headed to la She is in
Speaker 1: the military, also is having a difficult time believing that
Speaker 1: Julia Roberts would play a military person.
Speaker 2: Which I don't doubt her acting ability, but she just
Speaker 2: does look like Julia Roberts, and I really loved I mean,
Speaker 2: we're supposed to be thinking that Bradley and Julia are
Speaker 2: going to get together for the whole baby and then
Speaker 2: there's a twist at the end. But yeah, I have
Speaker 2: written out thank you for serving Julia Roberts. And I
Speaker 2: also really like there's like this scene between them where
Speaker 2: she's like, I'm in the military, so I can tell
Speaker 2: that you have trouble committing because you don't like heart
Speaker 2: shaped candy. I was like, do they teach that in army?
Speaker 1: She's I think it's implied that she is in some
Speaker 1: kind of like special forces.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like she's doing war crimes. And she's like, listen,
Speaker 2: the first thing you learn in Navy Seal's basic training
Speaker 2: is what Bradley Cooper looks like when he's having trouble committing.
Speaker 1: It's so bizarre.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we learn that she's on a fourteen hour flight
Speaker 1: from wherever she's coming from.
Speaker 2: I think that they keep it intentionally vague, super vague
Speaker 2: to not imply her in any specific war crimes, right.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, And so she's on this fourteen hour flight
Speaker 1: to spend only one day with her loved one, whoever
Speaker 1: that might be.
Speaker 2: Bradley Cooper assumes they're fucking. Yes, Bradley Cooper bakes all
Speaker 2: sorts of assumptions.
Speaker 1: For sure, and I'll talk more about that later, but anyway,
Speaker 1: we get all that information. Then we cut back to
Speaker 1: Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher. They're best friends. Exhausting, he
Speaker 1: encourages her to surprise Patrick Dempsey in San Francisco. But
Speaker 1: this is when we learn that he was lying about
Speaker 1: going to San Francisco and he actually has a wife
Speaker 1: and a kid, which Jennifer Garner does not know about.
Speaker 2: He's a dog. Yes.
Speaker 1: Back to Anne Hathaway. So when she's not doing phone
Speaker 1: sex work, she works for Queen Latifa, who is a
Speaker 1: sports agent who reps a football player, Eric Dane, whose
Speaker 1: career seems like it's on the decline. People are like,
Speaker 1: is he going to retire?
Speaker 2: They keep calling him old. Yeah, yeah, I feel like
Speaker 2: they're trying to make him like Tom Brady coated. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: but maybe that wasn't true, a twenty ten whatever. A
Speaker 2: football player who people speculate his career is almost over.
Speaker 2: But the twist is he's gay and he's gonna play.
Speaker 1: He's gay and he's gonna play.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just love that line.
Speaker 1: Wow. So Queen Latifa and Eric Dane get together for
Speaker 1: a meeting, along with his publicist Jessica Beale. So Jessica
Speaker 1: has entered the.
Speaker 2: Chat and she is a mess.
Speaker 1: She's so neurotic.
Speaker 2: Good, we need to get her to a hospital. This
Speaker 2: is like a really great just so bananas over the
Speaker 2: top manic pixie dream girl taken to an extreme that
Speaker 2: it does seem like she's not well.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Then we meet Emma Roberts. She is a high
Speaker 1: school student who plans to have sex for the first
Speaker 1: time with her boyfriend during their lunch period.
Speaker 2: Awesome Kristin Shall appearance where Kristin Shall plays a teacher
Speaker 2: and Emma Roberts is like, I'm going to go fuck
Speaker 2: right now and Christinshaw's like, oh, that's started the scene.
Speaker 2: I enjoyed that jump scare. I thought it was fun. Also,
Speaker 2: Emma Roberts is big like peak twenty ten in this
Speaker 2: movie by only wearing really uncomfortable looking ballet flats in
Speaker 2: every single scene.
Speaker 1: Oh true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where it's like the kind of shoes where you
Speaker 2: can see the knuckles of your toes. Oh nasty.
Speaker 1: Anyways, I was also wearing those in twenty ten.
Speaker 2: We all were, We were all flat footed barbies back then.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, also at this high school are Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: and Taylor Lautner. They are dating. He has bought her
Speaker 1: an enormous teddy bear that's haunted, that might have an
Speaker 1: evil demon living inside of it.
Speaker 2: Yes, harkrks bear. Yes.
Speaker 1: Then Emma Robert's boyfriend goes to her house to prepare
Speaker 1: for their sex that they're gonna have, and he takes
Speaker 1: off his clothes, but Emma Robert's mom comes home and
Speaker 1: catches him naked, so he runs outside still naked, and
Speaker 1: we're like, ha ha, awesome comedy. Meanwhile, Ashton is so
Speaker 1: annoying excited about being gay. He's so annoying. Jessica Alba, However,
Speaker 1: his fiance, she's not as excited, and he doesn't seem
Speaker 1: to notice anyway.
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, fair like not to go back to
Speaker 2: their first seed together. But again he wakes her up.
Speaker 2: She's perfect because it's a movie. She's perfect. But the
Speaker 2: first thing she says, hi, and then he launches in
Speaker 2: and says, when I was a kid, most of the
Speaker 2: advice my dad gave me was crap. I was like,
Speaker 2: if you, as my boyfriend, are starting the day with that, no,
Speaker 2: like good morning would be awesome.
Speaker 1: And then he proposes, and we don't see her actually
Speaker 1: say yes. It almost seems like he just shoves the
Speaker 1: ring on her finger and assumes the answer is.
Speaker 2: Yes, right, which at least is sort of commented on
Speaker 2: later when she dumps his ass. But I just do
Speaker 2: it like this is like a place where like love
Speaker 2: actually actually does feel like way better paced, but because
Speaker 2: so many scenes have to happen, it does feel like
Speaker 2: there's like a bomb in the room that will go
Speaker 2: off after seventy five seconds if they don't get all
Speaker 2: this stuff out, like some of the scenes move. So
Speaker 2: it for a movie where like nothing interesting happens. It's
Speaker 2: really hard to watch these movies because so much is happening,
Speaker 2: like you cannot look away, and they're two hours long.
Speaker 2: So it's and you cast forty people.
Speaker 1: Right exactly? Okay, So Patrick Dempsey goes to Ashton Kutcher's
Speaker 1: flower shop to buy flowers for both his wife, his
Speaker 1: wife and his secret girlfriend, Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher
Speaker 1: is thinking to himself, hang on, that's my friend Jennifer Garner,
Speaker 1: which means my friend's boyfriend is secretly married. So he
Speaker 1: goes to Jennifer Garner's work, she's an elementary school teacher,
Speaker 1: to try to tell her that her boyfriend is secretly married,
Speaker 1: but he doesn't get a chance to tell her she
Speaker 1: still doesn't know. Then Ashton goes home to his lady love,
Speaker 1: Jessica Alba, to leave a Valentine's Day gift, but he
Speaker 1: discovers that she's about to leave him. All of her
Speaker 1: stuff is packed up, and she breaks up with him.
Speaker 2: And even his dog doesn't love him. It's kind of awesome.
Speaker 1: Brutal uugh, and he's like, damn well, I better go
Speaker 1: stop Jennifer Garner from getting on that plane to San Francisco.
Speaker 1: So he rushes to the airport. We get an extremely
Speaker 1: rom com cliche running through the airport, but this time
Speaker 1: it's not to stop the love of his life, it's
Speaker 1: to stop a friend, and we're like, wow, subversive.
Speaker 2: But actually, I think the weirdest part of that scene
Speaker 2: is that, like, it's such a well worn trope that
Speaker 2: I was like, conditioning myself to be like, oh wow,
Speaker 2: the movie's almost over, and then you look at the
Speaker 2: run time you're like, it is like we're less than
Speaker 2: halfway in at the airport run Seriously, I was like
Speaker 2: overwhelmed with such relief and then dread that whole scene
Speaker 2: is so long. We do get Paola Putnzka at least true.
Speaker 1: Yes, anyway, so he does tell her that her boyfriend
Speaker 1: is married, but Jennifer Garner refuses to believe it and
Speaker 1: she gets on the plane anyway, question Mark. I have
Speaker 1: a lot of questions about that because the next time
Speaker 1: we see her, she's in LA.
Speaker 2: I was so confused. I was like, did she get
Speaker 2: off at San Francisco? But then you could hear a
Speaker 2: nurse clearly say also a very funny bad line, Hello,
Speaker 2: you've reached Los Angeles Hospital.
Speaker 1: As so you're like, not a real place.
Speaker 2: Well, I guess they are in LA. I would love
Speaker 2: to reach Los Angeles Hospital.
Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, So none of that made sense either. Jamie
Speaker 1: Foxx goes and tries to get an exclusive on Eric Dane,
Speaker 1: the football player from Jessica Biale, who is upset because
Speaker 1: she's single and she feels all alone.
Speaker 2: First of all, she's on the floor and he's like
Speaker 2: is she good, and they're like, well, she's usually fine
Speaker 2: on the Fourth of July and even Saint Patrick's Day,
Speaker 2: but on Valentine's Day she is sad, which sucks. She
Speaker 2: like looks dead, You're right, and then they.
Speaker 1: Fall in love and you're like, you're like sure, but anyway,
Speaker 1: so yeah, she's upset, not only because she's single and
Speaker 1: she feels lonely, but also no one has rsvped to her.
Speaker 1: I hate Valentine's Day party.
Speaker 2: Which she's throwing at an Indian restaurant at this same
Speaker 2: time as a wedding reception, which I'm just like, we've
Speaker 2: got to call the restaurant because you do have to
Speaker 2: pick one of those events. Yeah, and it's the wedding
Speaker 2: because no one's coming to Jessica Biale's I Hate Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day party.
Speaker 1: But then everyone shows.
Speaker 2: Up, including twenty people we've never met before, like majority
Speaker 2: characters we do not know.
Speaker 1: Yes, anyway, She's like, I hate Valentine's Day, and Jamie
Speaker 1: Fox is also like, I hate Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: I wish I could just sports all day long, and
Speaker 2: she's like, I wish I could sports all day long,
Speaker 2: but I also crave love and he's like okay, and
Speaker 2: then there's a big pratfall with a bunch of chocolates. Yes, disaster.
Speaker 1: Oh anyway, he leaves and then Eric Dane, the football player,
Speaker 1: comes out as gay at a press conference.
Speaker 2: But what does he say.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm gay and I'm gonna play.
Speaker 2: What a win?
Speaker 1: Well because everyone's like congratulations, good for you, But are
Speaker 1: you retiring? Like that's what this press conference or supposed
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he does come out instead of answering a question,
Speaker 2: but then he expands because he's gay and he's going
Speaker 2: to play. And I mean, as goofy as that scene is,
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, twenty ten not bad? You know,
Speaker 2: yeah you gay marriage was not legal in many places
Speaker 2: at the time when this movie came out and was
Speaker 2: tremendously successful. So can we chalk that legislation eventually passing
Speaker 2: up to Eric Danes saying I'm gay and I'm gonna play.
Speaker 1: I think we obviously can.
Speaker 2: I think that it's certainly a big part. I don't know,
Speaker 2: any inclusion in this movie is like very bare bones twenty.
Speaker 1: Ten's I mean, that's what most of my notes are
Speaker 1: about because it's abysmal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure that we have identical notes, but never
Speaker 2: forget that he is gay and he's gonna play. But
Speaker 2: when we let him kiss on screen, we.
Speaker 1: Won't no anyway. So then tofra Grace takes Anne Hathaway
Speaker 1: to a Valentine's dinner where he discovers that she's a
Speaker 1: phone sex worker and he's like, ooh, yucky, bye forever awesome.
Speaker 1: Uh huh. Then Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are at
Speaker 1: gym class or track practice, We're not really sure, being
Speaker 1: interviewed by a reporter.
Speaker 2: My boyfriend at this part of the movie got very
Speaker 2: critical of a specific background actor who I then could
Speaker 2: not stop looking at, not the reporter, the guy holding
Speaker 2: the camera, or just like based on his energy. It's
Speaker 2: just like so obviously not a real camera and not
Speaker 2: on like it's not really pointing at anybody, and he's
Speaker 2: sort of like slouching over. And I celebrate that background doctor.
Speaker 1: I love that. It's like when a movie where someone
Speaker 1: like takes a sip from a mug that's clearly empty
Speaker 1: and they like, don't the mechanics and physicality of drinking
Speaker 1: are like.
Speaker 2: Just there's a couple of moments in this movie where
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't think we've brought this up in
Speaker 2: an episode in a while, but the sort of like
Speaker 2: character with one line energy where it's very like sag
Speaker 2: card please. There's a couple characters in here that have
Speaker 2: huge sag card please energy about them. I love the
Speaker 2: security guard at the airport who's like, Hi, I'm a
Speaker 2: security guard. You're just like, give her her sagcard.
Speaker 1: She's like, put your shoes on. Ashton Kutcher, it's gross here.
Speaker 2: Great, but yeah, so it's I unfortunately know exactly enough
Speaker 2: about Taylor Swift to know that a lot of what
Speaker 2: they're saying in this scene where nothing happens is like
Speaker 2: references to twenty ten era Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner
Speaker 2: where it's like, my favorite number is thirteen. I would
Speaker 2: never take off my shirt.
Speaker 1: Like okay, okay. So then Shirley McClain reveals to her husband,
Speaker 1: Hector Alizondo, that she had an affair with his business
Speaker 1: partner some years ago.
Speaker 2: And also in this movie, she's Shirley McClain.
Speaker 1: It appears to be that she is, Yeah, she's just
Speaker 1: playing herself.
Speaker 2: But she's named Estelle, but she's actually because later they
Speaker 2: go to Hollywood Forever and they see a Shirley McLain
Speaker 2: movie and he's like, that's my wife, right, Literally.
Speaker 1: Do you know what movie that was?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I didn't either. So he's upset and he's, you know,
Speaker 1: discovered that his wife, Charlie McLain, was unfaithful.
Speaker 2: He's straight and he's not gonna play.
Speaker 1: Exactly. So he goes to Hollywood Forever Cemetery by himself.
Speaker 1: For any non LA listeners, that's a place that's a
Speaker 1: real cemetery, but they do a bunch of movie screenings.
Speaker 1: So he goes to watch a movie there that his wife,
Speaker 1: Shirley McClain is in. So they're like watching a movie
Speaker 1: from I don't know, the fifties or sixties.
Speaker 2: I guess the sixties, yes, And I wanted to figure
Speaker 2: out I meant to, and then I apologize to our listeners.
Speaker 2: I did not remember to follow through this because I
Speaker 2: was like, it looked like the scene that they eventually
Speaker 2: kiss in front of where Shirley, a younger Shirley McClain
Speaker 2: is kissing another actor. It didn't seem like it was
Speaker 2: like a really happy scene. Yeah, Like it seemed like
Speaker 2: a sad goodbye kiss, not like a I'm getting back
Speaker 2: together with Joe from the Princess Diaries.
Speaker 1: True, but that is what happens because Shirley McClain comes
Speaker 1: to the cemetery to find him, and then she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but if you love me, you have to
Speaker 1: love all the parts of me, even the cheater parts.
Speaker 1: And he's like, you're right, okay.
Speaker 2: That I mean what a mess is like, first of all, no,
Speaker 2: he doesn't, No, he doesn't. You had sex with his
Speaker 2: best friend. He doesn't have to forgive you. And he's like, yes,
Speaker 2: I do. I was wrong. You're like, when were you wrong?
Speaker 2: I mean, I understand that she Let's take this story
Speaker 2: really seriously. I was just struggling with it because it
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, she said that she was lonely and
Speaker 2: that he was away a lot, and I understand that
Speaker 2: that level of spousal neglect will sometimes lead to infidelity, right,
Speaker 2: but does he have to forgive her six hours later?
Speaker 2: Good question or ever? And also the fact that Topher
Speaker 2: Grace seems to think that that is like a one
Speaker 2: to one with his situation, which is completely different, and
Speaker 2: he is very much the villain of Yes. Anyways, I
Speaker 2: liked the cape that Shirley maclain wears to her own movie.
Speaker 2: If I was a movie star, I would show up
Speaker 2: in a cape to my movies also and be really disruptive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone's like down in front, and she's like, shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up, I'm trying to kiss my husband.
Speaker 2: I think it's so weird that he just went ahead
Speaker 2: and said he's married to Sholie McLean. And then she's like, Hi,
Speaker 2: I'm a.
Speaker 1: Stelle anyway, will they kiss and make up? So everything's
Speaker 1: fine there, and then Tilford Grace sees this and he
Speaker 1: realizes that he judged Anne Hathaway and her job too harshly.
Speaker 2: He sure did.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, Jennifer Garner gets confirmation that her boyfriend Patrick Dempsey
Speaker 1: is married.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she goes to Los Angeles Hospital in San Francisco
Speaker 2: and San Francisco find out, but she I guess she
Speaker 2: just doesn't get on the plane and we're never told.
Speaker 1: But we see her go into the doorway to get
Speaker 1: onto the plane.
Speaker 2: I know she just got off on the tarmac and
Speaker 2: bought us. I don't understand. And then he said he
Speaker 2: was going to do heart surgery in San Francisco. I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know any heart surgeons. And there's also like
Speaker 2: a weird line he has at the beginning where he's like,
Speaker 2: you know, doctors, we're always traveling. I was like, that's
Speaker 2: not really the first thing I think of when I
Speaker 2: think about doctors.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: Anyways, I don't know what city she's in, but her
Speaker 2: boyfriend does have a wife.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she finds out where he's having dinner with
Speaker 1: his wife.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, another great fake name for something. It's like
Speaker 2: Peepee Gardens or something, bistro gardens. You're just like, that's words. Yep,
Speaker 2: taking the wife out to Pepee Gardens for our fifteenth anasy.
Speaker 1: Anyway, So Jennifer Garner goes to this restaurant and pretends
Speaker 1: to be the server and she calls him out for
Speaker 1: being a two timing cheater and he's like, oh no,
Speaker 1: and then his wife is like, what's going on that?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Another very like weird. I mean, it's like, if
Speaker 2: Jennifer Garner can't make something think charming, then you're in trouble.
Speaker 2: But it's such a weird scene where she's talking about
Speaker 2: like killing a pig or something. We get it, we
Speaker 2: get it. Sure, Dinner at Pepe Gardens ruined. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Then Jennifer Garner goes to Jessica Bial's I Hate Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day party where the little boy from earlier shows up
Speaker 1: and professes his love for Jennifer Garner.
Speaker 2: Hate this twist because we've been led to believe, And
Speaker 2: first of all, I'm like, why am I invested in
Speaker 2: this nine year old's love life.
Speaker 1: They're clearly trying to replicate the Little Boy from Love
Speaker 1: actually in his storyline where he loves one of his classmates,
Speaker 1: so we think that same thing is happening here. But no, no, no,
Speaker 1: The twist is he's in love with his adult teacher,
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's almost implied that he's in
Speaker 1: love with her because he misses his mom, who ends
Speaker 1: up being Drea Roberts.
Speaker 2: Which it's like you could examine that dynamic in a
Speaker 2: movie that's not this movie where it's like he's because
Speaker 2: it's like whatever, kids get confused all this stuff. At
Speaker 2: least she doesn't say anything really creepy, like I was
Speaker 2: expecting her to, like one of those like call me
Speaker 2: in ten years. You're like, anytime someone says that to
Speaker 2: like an eight year old in a movie like Don't
Speaker 2: Call Her in ten Years. Yeah, but that Secrets of
Speaker 2: Events was really fun because these movies so desperately need
Speaker 2: every character to be tangentially connected to someone else that
Speaker 2: like Emma Roberts not for nothing, worst babysitter in the
Speaker 2: history of babysitters. The kid gets kidnapped twice under her
Speaker 2: view because the kid makes his teacher realize that she's
Speaker 2: in love with Ashton Kutcher. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Jennifer Garner,
Speaker 2: Ashton Kutcher has just technically kidnapped this kid, yeah, and
Speaker 2: driven him to the restaurant, which obviously this kid is
Speaker 2: not at risk for a stranger danger. Apparently he's like,
Speaker 2: I've met this florist. He could give me a ride,
Speaker 2: And then Emma Roberts sees him and thinks he's being abducted,
Speaker 2: which he kind of is, but then he's like, don't worry,
Speaker 2: I'm a florist, and you're like what.
Speaker 1: And meanwhile, his grandparents are too busy kissing it at
Speaker 1: the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to notice that he's missing.
Speaker 2: Well, in their defense, they did hire a babysitter. She
Speaker 2: just is too horny to babysit. Yeah, they did hire
Speaker 2: Emma Roberts, but she was so focused on fucking her
Speaker 2: boyfriend at lunch.
Speaker 1: Her boyfriend who's the delivery driver at the restaurant where
Speaker 1: the I hate Valentine's Day party is taking places. It's
Speaker 1: all connected, all right. So then the little boy professes
Speaker 1: his love for Jennifer Garner and she's like, well, what
Speaker 1: about that girl who's your age, from your class, your friends,
Speaker 1: but maybe that could turn into love. And this helps
Speaker 1: her realize that maybe the person she has loved all
Speaker 1: along is her best friend, Ashton Kutcher.
Speaker 2: Don't do it. Don't do it.
Speaker 1: And then this is when we start to get some
Speaker 1: you know, tying up of these storylines where Emma Roberts
Speaker 1: realizes she's not ready to have sex yet and she
Speaker 1: tells her boyfriend and he's like, that's okay, we can
Speaker 1: still make out and then they kiss.
Speaker 2: Amazing journey that they've been on.
Speaker 1: Then Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper's plane lands in la
Speaker 1: He gives her access to his private car so that
Speaker 1: she can spend extra time with her loved one, who
Speaker 1: he assumes is her husband, but it ends up being
Speaker 1: her son, the little boy who loves Jennifer Garner.
Speaker 2: Wow, WHOA. I do feel like they bury the lead
Speaker 2: of that big time where they talk about her as
Speaker 2: if she is like dead. Yes, they do at the beginning.
Speaker 2: The twist is she's not dead.
Speaker 1: She's Julia Roberts and she's in the military.
Speaker 2: She's Navy. The those Julia Roberts. I really I'm just
Speaker 2: like she is getting back from doing something so evil,
Speaker 2: catastrophically evil. Yes, but her son is so big. That's
Speaker 2: she just ends with it. You're so big, You're so big. Anyways,
Speaker 2: goodbye to those characters.
Speaker 1: Yes, goodbye to them. Then we find out that the
Speaker 1: person Bradley Cooper is going to see is Eric Dane
Speaker 1: because they're together, or they were, but they broke up.
Speaker 1: But then Bradley Cooper saw him coming out publicly and
Speaker 1: he's proud of him, so then they get back together
Speaker 1: question mark.
Speaker 2: But again the timeline on that does not work out
Speaker 2: at all, because we are led to believe that the
Speaker 2: Eric Dane character comes out while Bradley Cooper is already
Speaker 2: on the plane.
Speaker 1: For sure that yeah, one hundred percent, that's what happened.
Speaker 1: So how did he know.
Speaker 2: Where was he going? How did he know? He was like,
Speaker 2: if you don't come out on national television on Valentine's Day,
Speaker 2: I'm dumping your ass and.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a flight to la just in case
Speaker 1: that does happen.
Speaker 2: And like, what was his job and why was he
Speaker 2: fourteen hours away by plane? I think he was also
Speaker 2: doing war crimes because he has a lot of money.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think he's like an oil executive
Speaker 2: or he's something like really quite evil. But anyways, they're
Speaker 2: gay and they're gonna play and then it cuts away
Speaker 2: in a very twenty ten move. It's like, oh wow,
Speaker 2: two gay characters. They can't kiss, they can just be
Speaker 2: near each other.
Speaker 1: They can lightly embrace. But that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, representation When I can't get that line out of
Speaker 2: my mind. It's so funny.
Speaker 1: It's poetry, is what it is. Okay. Then tofra Grace
Speaker 1: goes to Ann Hathaway and they make up. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: gloss over this because I want to talk about it
Speaker 1: later in the discussion. Yeah, disaster truly, she should dump
Speaker 1: him seriously. Then Jamie Foxx and j Soca Bie'll get
Speaker 1: together in what I feel might be the most contrived
Speaker 1: storyline of them all. But they're kissing now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're kissing in front of a green screen.
Speaker 1: And then Jennifer Garner goes to Ashton Kutcher being like, Hey,
Speaker 1: maybe we're in love, and then they kiss and it's
Speaker 1: awkward and they're like, I don't know, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe we can make this work. And that's how the
Speaker 1: movie ends.
Speaker 2: Oh and then one more shot of the horcrucks bear.
Speaker 1: We mustn't forget.
Speaker 2: Taylor switches in an elevator and I think half of
Speaker 2: she's in four scenes. Two scenes, she's in front of
Speaker 2: the school, she's at the football field, and then she's
Speaker 2: in the elevator two times. Her first scene is so
Speaker 2: funny because she's just like talking to Jennifer Garner and
Speaker 2: being annoying. Question work, Yeah, we'll get there anyways, that's
Speaker 2: the movie. And then a thousand bloopers. Yeah, and then
Speaker 2: it's finally over.
Speaker 1: It's finally over after two hours. Let's take another and
Speaker 1: we'll come back to discuss, and we're back.
Speaker 2: Today was a fairy tale. There's also like original Taylor
Speaker 2: Swift song to go with. It's true this movie was
Speaker 2: so successful.
Speaker 1: I mean in the sense that it got a lot
Speaker 1: of money at the box office. It had a fifty
Speaker 1: two million dollar budget. It grossed two hundred and sixteen million.
Speaker 1: Yes at the box office. A critical flop though.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean goes with that saying this whole era
Speaker 2: of not even just Gary Marshall, just this format, because
Speaker 2: it's like he's just not that into you, same same deal.
Speaker 1: But when it's a drama like Crash, then it wins
Speaker 1: an oscar for some reason, even though that movie is
Speaker 1: peepee poop.
Speaker 2: Who I was saying, We just recorded our burlesque episode,
Speaker 2: And I confess that I sometimes mix up Stanley Tucci
Speaker 2: and Alan Cumming for a similar baffling. I often mix
Speaker 2: up the movie Crash and Sideways. So I've been avoiding
Speaker 2: watching Sideways for years for apparently no reason. I guess
Speaker 2: it's a good movie, and I thought it was Crash,
Speaker 2: which is a bad movie. But I just just like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to why, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, let's talk about Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ. Okay, didn't like my little story, all right,
Speaker 2: don't know, no, no, no, who do you want to
Speaker 2: talk about first?
Speaker 1: Well, I guess I just want to make a broad
Speaker 1: statement that in an ensemble movie like this, where there
Speaker 1: are literally dozens of characters, it is very very easy
Speaker 1: to have an incredibly diverse cast, but just does not
Speaker 1: have a movie he doesn't do that. It largely centers white, straight, cis,
Speaker 1: able bodied people who are traditionally attractive by Western beauty standards.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the characters who are not white generally don't have
Speaker 2: the same love stories. I think the only characters that
Speaker 2: have actual love stories are Jamie Fox right.
Speaker 1: I mean, for example, George Lopez is there to uplift
Speaker 1: Ashton Kutcher's character. He does have sort of, but it's
Speaker 1: not a love storyline. No, it's just a scene where
Speaker 1: he kisses his wife for two seconds.
Speaker 2: And it's also so scary because they don't let her speak,
Speaker 2: And I was like, right, what is it's really giving?
Speaker 2: Like decoy wife? Yeah, it doesn't work like you're saying,
Speaker 2: He's just there to read roomy poetry to Ashton Kutcher. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and the same with like Queen Latifa is very much
Speaker 2: like a supporting character comic relief who does not get
Speaker 2: even an attempted storyline, amongst other things that are off
Speaker 2: about that character. But yeah, for the most part, it's
Speaker 2: like overwhelmingly like we're looking at white and white passing
Speaker 2: couples who are bad for each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, there is one queer couple. True, And
Speaker 1: it feels as though the writer of the movie, who
Speaker 1: is named Catherine Fugate, she also wrote New Year's Eve,
Speaker 1: if I'm not mistake she did.
Speaker 2: She also wrote a Julia Styles movie I've never seen,
Speaker 2: but I know as a kind of a millennial movie
Speaker 2: called The Prince in Me. Haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. It feels like it's
Speaker 1: just like, oh, we have a quota to phil we
Speaker 1: need one gay couple so that everyone will shut up
Speaker 1: about there not being enough queer representation.
Speaker 2: Well, it's really telling that the fact that there has
Speaker 2: been a gay couple in the movie the whole time
Speaker 2: is like a twist at the very end of the
Speaker 2: exactly like the twist Bradley Cooper is gay because you're
Speaker 2: supposed to. I think you're supposed to think the whole
Speaker 2: time that he's going to end up with Julia Roberts,
Speaker 2: for sure, because in movies like this, if you're sitting
Speaker 2: next to each other, you have to get married.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, but not the case here.
Speaker 2: Instead, all of the scenes between him and Julia Roberts
Speaker 2: are incredibly weird because they're talking around this trope of
Speaker 2: if you sit next to each other, you have to
Speaker 2: get married, and then they're like, surprise, he's gay.
Speaker 1: The end that's framed as a twist. Also, Eric Dane
Speaker 1: being gay is set up as another big reveal where
Speaker 1: rather than the audience learning that he's gay early on
Speaker 1: and then like we see him decide whether or not
Speaker 1: to come out publicly because that would be a major choice,
Speaker 1: especially for an American football player, where like that's an
Speaker 1: extremely homophobic organization and you know, right, like it still is,
Speaker 1: but we don't see that him coming out is treated
Speaker 1: like a big twist, right, And that seems like it
Speaker 1: only happens to set up a string of homophobic jokes
Speaker 1: that Jamie Foxx will make later on during his sports
Speaker 1: journalism broadcast.
Speaker 2: And it's like the fact that the jokes are framed
Speaker 2: within the movie is like good natured and like, ultimately
Speaker 2: he's supportive, but he's just gonna say a bunch of
Speaker 2: homophobic stuff on TV and then be like, ah, just kidding, buddy,
Speaker 2: I support you. You're just like it's so so dated
Speaker 2: the way that the only queer couple of the movie,
Speaker 2: which is like, this movie is so weirdly written that
Speaker 2: everything was surprising to me because it wasn't actually set
Speaker 2: up in anyway. So you're like, oh, okay, I guess
Speaker 2: Julia Roberts is alive and that kid's mom. Huh, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I know. I thought the entire I mean, it was
Speaker 2: a very twenty ten attempt to include a gay character.
Speaker 2: But yeah, every plot point is like, surprise, surprise, he's gay,
Speaker 2: and we don't see them together for most of the movie.
Speaker 1: There's just like one ten second moment at the end
Speaker 1: where they lightly embrace. Again, they're not allowed to kiss,
Speaker 1: because heaven forbid, we had queer characters kissing on screen
Speaker 1: in a movie in twenty ten.
Speaker 2: Which is like a conversation that was at least extent
Speaker 2: to like twenty seventeen, with like Josh Gadd being like
Speaker 2: a huge win for queer representation. I slow danced with
Speaker 2: a man in the background of a scene and Beauty
Speaker 2: and the Beast and you're just like, get out of here,
Speaker 2: Josh Gadd.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Also, as we discussed, Bradley Cooper keeps talking to
Speaker 1: Julie Roberts being like, Wow, that guy that you're in
Speaker 1: love with romantically, who you're gonna go visit for one day.
Speaker 1: What a lucky guy. And oh my gosh, wow.
Speaker 2: Why doesn't she just correct him?
Speaker 1: Why doesn't she correct him? And it's also just weird
Speaker 1: that so he's like seemingly making an assumption that she's
Speaker 1: seeing a romantic partner. It doesn't make any sense that
Speaker 1: one of the few queer characters in the movie would
Speaker 1: be making such a heteronormative assumption. Yeah, that doesn't track
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: The whole thing doesn't make sense unless I'm like, I
Speaker 2: guess we don't technically know if that character is closeted,
Speaker 2: although we're led to believe that he isn't based on
Speaker 2: how he reacts to like his partner coming out, because
Speaker 2: I feel like the vibe is supposed to be like, no,
Speaker 2: we can be together, right, But I don't know. Is
Speaker 2: he like an out oil executive?
Speaker 1: We know nothing about him.
Speaker 2: I guess that that is the job I projected onto him.
Speaker 2: But I do think I'm right for some reason.
Speaker 1: I mean, he has enough money to have a private
Speaker 1: limo pick him up from the airport and take him anywhere.
Speaker 1: He wants to go. The trouble is we don't know
Speaker 1: enough about him or his relationship with Eric Dane. We
Speaker 1: have to project all this stuff onto him because the
Speaker 1: movie doesn't care enough about I mean any of the characters,
Speaker 1: but especially this queer couple.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like it always feels pronounced in the one
Speaker 2: relationship out of forty that is a queer relationship, and
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't know, outside of existing, it's not
Speaker 2: doing anything. This is just a general observation. This movie
Speaker 2: like really goes willy nilly on like who gets the
Speaker 2: last name and who doesn't. There's really no rhyme or reason.
Speaker 2: Half the characters have full names. Half the characters don't.
Speaker 2: Jessica Alba is Morley Clarkson, whereas Bradley Cooper is Holden. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Jennifer Garner is Julia Fitzpatrick, whereas Tefer Grace is Jason.
Speaker 2: We don't know. I liked that. That's a compliment I'm
Speaker 2: gonna get. It's just like brain dead, you know. Yes,
Speaker 2: so that's one relationship that is horrible. I mean, I
Speaker 2: just wanted to sort of talk about the overall just
Speaker 2: very like of the time twenty ten racism. That's present
Speaker 2: in this movie at every opportunity. I feel like you
Speaker 2: have what we were talking about earlier, which is that
Speaker 2: the non white characters that are there generally don't get
Speaker 2: the exhausting love story that we get for most of
Speaker 2: the white characters in the story. And then there's like
Speaker 2: stuff that's even more aggressive, like the character who works
Speaker 2: at the florist shop and the family that runs the
Speaker 2: Indian restaurant is just like so so so heavily stereotyped
Speaker 2: that it feels like, yes, egregious for twenty ten, Like
Speaker 2: it feels like it's like nineteen eighty two egregious movie
Speaker 2: racism for sure.
Speaker 1: This movie is obsessed with jokes that are at the
Speaker 1: expense of people who don't speak English as their first language.
Speaker 1: There are a number of jokes to that effect. There's
Speaker 1: stereotypes about LATINX people in La We see the like
Speaker 1: George Lopez's cousin in his car and that's hilarious because
Speaker 1: Ashton Kutcher drives in the car and it's all very tropy.
Speaker 2: Then there's an Asian character that works at the floral shop.
Speaker 2: We don't even know where. It's just like a general
Speaker 2: stereotyped Asian racist character, Like the movie doesn't give us
Speaker 2: enough information to even it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what happens there is Jamie Fox is interviewing him. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of another character. So there's another character where
Speaker 1: James Fox is interviewing a man who works at like
Speaker 1: the flower market, where floral shop owners.
Speaker 2: Go, oh, sorry, yes, but there is someone who also
Speaker 2: works at them. But yeah, right, remember right, So it's
Speaker 2: just racism all over the place, and I know we
Speaker 2: have to reference it, it just feels deprossing to even give
Speaker 2: it airtime. The character who works at Ashton Kutcher's flower
Speaker 2: World or fucking whatever, it's another fake ass name where
Speaker 2: it's like Santa Flowers or I don't even know, like
Speaker 2: something ridiculous. But the character who works at the flower
Speaker 2: shop is subjected to the same lazy joke about like
Speaker 2: why don't you speak English. He's like yelling at a
Speaker 2: Bulgarian woman for I had to learn English, so do you?
Speaker 2: And then Ashton Kusher joins in on the fun. And
Speaker 2: then also he's subjected to like homophobic tropes too, where
Speaker 2: I feel like he's heavily queer coded and he's saying
Speaker 2: that he knows every dressmaker in Las Vegas and then anyways,
Speaker 2: you never see him again.
Speaker 1: True. Yeah, A lot of the humor of this movie,
Speaker 1: or attempts at humor and comedy, come from just relying
Speaker 1: on stereotypes, harmful, reductive stereotypes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the end, like a huge chunk of the
Speaker 2: movie takes place at an Indian restaurant. The only character
Speaker 2: that we really get to know Ish is the child
Speaker 2: who is friends with Julia Roberts's son question Mark. We
Speaker 2: know that she likes Frank Zappa. I don't know why
Speaker 2: we know that, but we are told that. We are
Speaker 2: told that, and there's just a lot of heavy, heavy stereotyping.
Speaker 2: I don't even want to like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's bad, it's bad. On top of that, as
Speaker 1: we mentioned again, there's so many opportunities for this to
Speaker 1: be a far more diverse cast based solely on just
Speaker 1: the number of characters, but we see very little diversity
Speaker 1: in every regard. There's no body diversity, especially for the
Speaker 1: characters who are afforded a romantic storyline. Yeah, none of
Speaker 1: those characters are fat, none of those characters are disabled.
Speaker 1: There are no trans or gender queer characters.
Speaker 2: Right, which is not shocking for the time this came out,
Speaker 2: but I was like, on top of being just like
Speaker 2: grossly negligent in any interest in any diversity in your cast,
Speaker 2: I feel like we end up talking about this every
Speaker 2: time we cover a movie like this. It also makes
Speaker 2: a movie really confusing to watch because it's a lot
Speaker 2: of like white women with straight brown hair, and you're
Speaker 2: just like, you know, it's not even a dig to
Speaker 2: the actors, but there was a few moments where I
Speaker 2: was like, wait, did that up in Anne Hathaway's character
Speaker 2: or Jennifer Carter's character, Like they have the same hairstyle,
Speaker 2: everyone's the same age. It is really confusing, certainly, and
Speaker 2: also because it's like impossible to get invested or root
Speaker 2: for any of these coupls that you're just like, who
Speaker 2: is this?
Speaker 1: Who is anybody? There is one couple who are seniors
Speaker 1: in Shirley maclain and Hector Elizondo. I was surprised because
Speaker 1: older people's romantic life is rarely included in movies. It
Speaker 1: is a story about people who are already together, rather
Speaker 1: than like an older person meeting another older person and
Speaker 1: finding love. That is something that's largely ignored and rarely
Speaker 1: shown on.
Speaker 2: Screen until the Jane Fonda assance of the last five
Speaker 2: to ten years. So it's like those movies do exist,
Speaker 2: but yeah, this movie has no interest in it. I
Speaker 2: was sort of I was back and forth on that
Speaker 2: because it's all nonsense, right, But you're like, at least
Speaker 2: they were given a genuine conflict, like it wasn't just
Speaker 2: like we're old, because I feel like sometimes you know,
Speaker 2: like grandparent characters are just there for comic relief or
Speaker 2: just like for sure, especially in these kinds of comedies.
Speaker 2: I mean, and also, it would just be really insulting
Speaker 2: to those two, like really successful actors to give them nothing.
Speaker 2: So they're given a solid conflict, but that it like
Speaker 2: also it doesn't go anywhere because that she just shows
Speaker 2: up in a cape and she's like, you have to
Speaker 2: forgive me, and he's like, oh, okay, all right, and
Speaker 2: then they're back together, yes whatever. So that one is bad.
Speaker 2: We have who else? We have? Jamie Fox and Jessica Biale,
Speaker 2: this couple, I agree. I mean, they're all so flimsy,
Speaker 2: but these two are really I guess they do. I
Speaker 2: will say they have more in common than some of
Speaker 2: the couples. I'm happier for them than I am for
Speaker 2: Tofa Grace a Dane Hathaway. They both like sports and
Speaker 2: they I hate Valentine's Day. I think they're gonna make it.
Speaker 1: That is true. Is that the basis for a relationship. Well,
Speaker 1: we just see them kiss. We don't know what happens
Speaker 1: after that. But I mean, the bottom line in a
Speaker 1: movie like this is fine, an ensemble cast with vignettes,
Speaker 1: it can work, but you need fewer characters basically to
Speaker 1: allow any of them to have any real depth or characterization.
Speaker 1: But instead there's forty eight million characters in this movie,
Speaker 1: and so they're all completely glossed over and given very
Speaker 1: little characterization, very little context. Yeah, the nature of the
Speaker 1: relationships is super glossed over, right, It's all messy, But
Speaker 1: this one feels especially vague and like real.
Speaker 2: I guess it didn't stick out to be as vague
Speaker 2: er than the other ones. That's true, but I just
Speaker 2: I think I was so actively it's like one of
Speaker 2: the only interracial couples in the movie. And then outside
Speaker 2: of that, I was like, yeah, they basically have nothing
Speaker 2: in common and the actors have no chemistry, but like,
Speaker 2: which actors in this movie do?
Speaker 1: Oooh, that's very true.
Speaker 2: I feel like it equal opportunity fucking sucked. I don't
Speaker 2: know I should have ranked the couples in order of
Speaker 2: how little I was rooting for them. I feel like
Speaker 2: they are in the upper fifty percent ale for me
Speaker 2: because at least they hate Valentine's Day and love sport.
Speaker 1: That is more context than we get for a lot
Speaker 1: of the couples. It's true. I would say the storyline
Speaker 1: that I simultaneously hated the most and the least. Ooh,
Speaker 1: for reasons all explain right now. Okay, was the tof
Speaker 1: for Grace and Anne Hathaway story.
Speaker 2: Oh, that one is brutal. I also just wanted to
Speaker 2: quickly say, because this movie bears a lot of resemblance
Speaker 2: to He's Just Not That into You, two of the
Speaker 2: same story by credits go to Catherine Fuguet and then
Speaker 2: Abby Cone and Mark Silverstein, who also wrote He's Just
Speaker 2: Not That Into You. So it's all the same. It's
Speaker 2: all the same.
Speaker 1: Movie, It truly is. Okay, So the Tofer Grace anne
Speaker 1: Hathaway storyline, the beats are that they've been dating for
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. He does not know at first
Speaker 1: that she works part time as an adult phone entertainer,
Speaker 1: he finds out he doesn't like it, and he breaks
Speaker 1: up with her because of it. Then he realizes his
Speaker 1: mistake after hearing other characters talk about how when you
Speaker 1: love someone you have to love all of them, even
Speaker 1: their gross parts, and so he shows up at Anne
Speaker 1: Hathaway's apartment to try to win her back, and ultimately
Speaker 1: it works. The reason I like it or I like
Speaker 1: kind of what happens here is based on a few
Speaker 1: lines of dialogue where Anne Hathaway says, I feel bad
Speaker 1: about how you found out about my job. That was awkward,
Speaker 1: but that's the only thing I'm going to apologize for,
Speaker 1: implying that she's not going to apologize for doing phone
Speaker 1: sex work, nor is she going to stop.
Speaker 2: But the big problem is that she then forgives him.
Speaker 2: I don't because they've been dating for two weeks. Right,
Speaker 2: get out of there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have an easy out.
Speaker 2: He's not a tolerant person. Get out of no's.
Speaker 1: And she says that, like she says, when you found
Speaker 1: out something about me that you didn't like, you judged
Speaker 1: me and bailed, And that's not a promising foundation for
Speaker 1: a relationship. I feel like that's the most meaningful analysis
Speaker 1: we get of romance in the entire movie that's otherwise
Speaker 1: about absolutely nothing, right.
Speaker 2: But that was why I think this is a relationship.
Speaker 2: I kind of hate the most because it's like, it
Speaker 2: gets so close to saying something, but then in the
Speaker 2: next two seconds it undercuts that completely. She's like, yes,
Speaker 2: but I forgive you and I want to make love
Speaker 2: to my boyfriend. I was like, you guys have been
Speaker 2: together for two weeks. Two weeks.
Speaker 1: Well. The reason I hate it so much is because
Speaker 1: of the implication that he only decides to get back
Speaker 1: together with her after learning that when you love someone,
Speaker 1: you have to love the gross parts about them, implying
Speaker 1: that her doing sex work is one of the gross
Speaker 1: things about her that he has to learn to love, right,
Speaker 1: So the whole thing just sucks.
Speaker 2: And then on top of that, I was also frustrated
Speaker 2: by the implication that I mean this felt less actively.
Speaker 2: I don't think that the writers were like actively trying
Speaker 2: to imply this, but because the cultural dismissal of sex
Speaker 2: work is so prevalent that when Anne Hathaway introduces this information,
Speaker 2: first of all, like she's hiding it from people because
Speaker 2: she doesn't want to be judged, which makes sense to
Speaker 2: me to the extent that like, society is very hostile
Speaker 2: towards sex workers, but it also is implied that she
Speaker 2: is ashamed of it and the only reason that she's
Speaker 2: doing it is because she's in debt, which can be true,
Speaker 2: but again it just felt like a very underthought, like, well,
Speaker 2: the only reason that we are rooting for this character
Speaker 2: is because she doesn't actually want to do this forever,
Speaker 2: Like she just wants to do it until she's out
Speaker 2: of debt and then she'll stop and get a quote
Speaker 2: unquote regular job, which it did seem like what the
Speaker 2: implication was was like I appreciated that she was unapologetic
Speaker 2: about it and that she's like I'm going to keep
Speaker 2: doing it, like fuck you, I need this job, but
Speaker 2: I feel like it also is like but as soon
Speaker 2: as I don't have to do it, I will not
Speaker 2: because it's I don't know.
Speaker 1: It just felt like a very like no, I got
Speaker 1: that too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then she says one of the worst lines
Speaker 2: in the movie, which is Sugar can't answer the phone
Speaker 2: right now, she's got to make love to her boyfriend
Speaker 2: on Valentine's Day, which literally turned my stomach. He also
Speaker 2: so her the thing she's doing in bed at the
Speaker 2: beginning is taking the scary polaroids he's kept them and
Speaker 2: turns them into a murderer card and like tapes them
Speaker 2: all on a piece of construction of paper like a
Speaker 2: six year old and is like, take me back. And
Speaker 2: I'm just like, he's gotta go, He's gotta go, get
Speaker 2: him out.
Speaker 1: All of these people have to go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm rooting for Anne Hathaway's character. I do think
Speaker 2: that she needs to find another room and Queen Latifa
Speaker 2: Sports Agency to take the calls.
Speaker 1: Okay, not only is she taking the calls at her
Speaker 1: other job, which like whatever, I've definitely worked, yeah, one
Speaker 1: job while I was at my other job.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she gotta be smooth about it.
Speaker 1: You gotta be smooth about it. And she's not only
Speaker 1: taking those calls at this office where she works, but
Speaker 1: she's using the office phone a lot of the time
Speaker 1: and not her private cell phone.
Speaker 2: And she also is like sort of lightly implied that
Speaker 2: Queen Latifa is like picking up and listen listening, But
Speaker 2: she's just like what Queen Latifa's character. Not only I
Speaker 2: mean we already discussed the fact that I mean, as
Speaker 2: with many of the non white characters in this movie.
Speaker 2: She there's no suggestion or interest in giving her a storyline.
Speaker 2: I believe she's the only black woman in the movie. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and they give her nothing. Uh wull they do give
Speaker 2: her is really weird. She Yeah, she makes a very
Speaker 2: dated comment about bipolar in her first line, and then
Speaker 2: everything she says is just kind of like vaguely like
Speaker 2: girl Boss soup talk, where she's like, I have to business.
Speaker 2: My football is gay, Like you're just like what.
Speaker 1: Also, the thing that they have her say toward the
Speaker 1: end of the movie, when she takes up a phone
Speaker 1: call that's intended for Anne Hathaway because it's another phone
Speaker 1: sex call, Queen Latifa assumes the role of adult phone
Speaker 1: entertainer and then says something just very racially charged and
Speaker 1: just icky. And I felt so embarrassed that Queen Latifa
Speaker 1: had to do that, and.
Speaker 2: That like three white writers put that together. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: just pray to God that that was like bad prov
Speaker 2: on her part and like not, I don't know, yeah,
Speaker 2: that was she's given simply nothing to do. I'm like,
Speaker 2: she's I don't know, but I mean, if you look
Speaker 2: at everyone in this movie, the Queen Latifa at this
Speaker 2: point is Oscar nominated Jamie Fox has an Oscar no
Speaker 2: idea like did he want a boat? We don't know
Speaker 2: who knows why anyone is here? Who else is there?
Speaker 2: I guess oh, Jennifer Garner, Ashton Kutcher.
Speaker 1: I feel like some of these storylines aren't even worth Like,
Speaker 1: I kind.
Speaker 2: Of feel like I have nothing to say about that, right.
Speaker 1: A lot of my comments are just sort of broader
Speaker 1: in the sense that, like, for example, the way class
Speaker 1: is handled in this movie. Every character seems to be
Speaker 1: middle class, upper middle class. Yeah, there's no romance shown
Speaker 1: between two poor people. That's another thing that's rarely seen
Speaker 1: in movies in general. Or if there is a poor
Speaker 1: person who falls in love, it's almost always them getting
Speaker 1: with a rich person a La Titanic, Allah, Woman's true
Speaker 1: stories like that, but very rarely do we see a
Speaker 1: romantic storyline between two characters who are poor and stay poor.
Speaker 2: Now, that's just like that didn't even occur to me,
Speaker 2: because we've covered so many movies like this where you're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I would have been truly shocked if that it happens.
Speaker 2: The whole movie seems to take place like in West La, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's such a bummer.
Speaker 1: And then the other thing is like this, and I
Speaker 1: get that this is a movie about Valentine's Day, which
Speaker 1: centers on romantic love, so it's gonna be stories that
Speaker 1: focus on romantic love, but it's also a very narrow
Speaker 1: view of romantic love. Again, Like, it would have been
Speaker 1: very shocking if a movie in twenty ten would have
Speaker 1: included anything that wasn't you know, a cis hetero monogamous
Speaker 1: love story. But like, I guess I just want to
Speaker 1: see more stories where there are romantic storylines between polyamorous
Speaker 1: people kink stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where with the furries?
Speaker 1: Where with the furries? Where are the people who were
Speaker 1: just kind of dating casually and who just want right
Speaker 1: a fling or a one night stand or friends with benefits?
Speaker 1: Like all of these stories are about people who were
Speaker 1: in very serious, committed relationships or like falling deeply in
Speaker 1: love and you know stuff like that.
Speaker 2: That was the thought that I had about the Jessica Bale. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like these are all super monogamous relationships. And I feel
Speaker 2: like there was basically no public discourse about anything other
Speaker 2: than monogamous relationships when this movie came out. It's like
Speaker 2: it is pretty bleak that like the way Jessica Biel's
Speaker 2: character is acting, which is like she's like ready for
Speaker 2: Death's sweet Embrace, is like a more plausible character than
Speaker 2: someone who's dating casually. Like it's just like really depressing
Speaker 2: that this person who doesn't exist is put there instead
Speaker 2: of someone who you know very much existed in twenty ten.
Speaker 2: Like it's yeah, but this movie is basically like Hallmark propaganda.
Speaker 2: You know. It's like people don't buy Christmas ornaments for
Speaker 2: people they're casually dating, so that is useless to Gary's
Speaker 2: goal here. I don't know. I mean, yeah, it is
Speaker 2: like frustrating, but it's also like it' Valentine's Day twenty ten.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: So I will say that this movie does appear to
Speaker 1: try to subvert some things. All of these subversions are
Speaker 1: very surface level. They go nowhere. Nothing very meaningful is
Speaker 1: said about any of these things, but I did find it,
Speaker 1: I guess interesting that, for example, with the Ashton Kutchure
Speaker 1: Jessica Albo storyline, it is the man who appears to
Speaker 1: be a hopeless romantic who's gushing about love, and the
Speaker 1: woman who is the more stoic and not so obsessed
Speaker 1: with romance. Usually you see the opposite in movies, especially
Speaker 1: rom coms.
Speaker 2: I felt that too, but that it was also like
Speaker 2: the way she was talking was so like weird. I
Speaker 2: wish she had just been like I don't love you,
Speaker 2: because it seemed like that was the issue, because I
Speaker 2: felt like the undertone of what she was saying was like,
Speaker 2: I love my career, so I cannot be married, right,
Speaker 2: But that he's like, no, you could be married and
Speaker 2: have a career, which is really brave of him to say.
Speaker 1: Well feminist icon Ashton Kutcher.
Speaker 2: Right, and he's wearing a pink shirt, which is a
Speaker 2: twenty ten signifier for male feminists. That he's like, well,
Speaker 2: what do you mean you can have a job and
Speaker 2: be married to me. But then she's sort of instead
Speaker 2: of saying I don't love you, is like no I can't,
Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, okay, well whatever, bust of luck
Speaker 2: to her with whatever her jobs, because of course we
Speaker 2: don't know what it is. She is, like, the first
Speaker 2: thing I thought about was my meeting at work, and
Speaker 2: you're like, not your meeting at work.
Speaker 1: My meeting at my work job.
Speaker 2: I half expected her to show up at Queen Latifa industries,
Speaker 2: but that was not the way it went. For as
Speaker 2: little as we know about this character, I think it
Speaker 2: is pretty awesome that she has a last name, which
Speaker 2: is Clarkson, Morley.
Speaker 1: Clarkson, more clark from me.
Speaker 2: Yes, every realm common name. Sounds like your mouth is
Speaker 2: full when you say it, just full of marbles, yeah,
Speaker 2: carom on a hand. Another some version I think is
Speaker 2: the Shirley Maclain Hector Elizonda's story where it's the woman
Speaker 2: who has the affair. I feel like it's more common
Speaker 2: to see a man cheating on his wife in movies. Yes,
Speaker 2: And also it's more common for a man to demand
Speaker 2: forgiveness and be immediately granted by the other character.
Speaker 1: Very true.
Speaker 2: So girls could do anything including gaslight they're spousal to
Speaker 2: forgiving them for something pretty awful.
Speaker 1: Yep, exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Again, this movie does not have the purview to discuss
Speaker 1: or examine any of these things meaningfully, but it did
Speaker 1: show something which is the opposite of what you might expect.
Speaker 1: I think the last one would be a hyper masculine
Speaker 1: football player is gay and ready to play.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That I felt like was a genuine attempt at as
Speaker 2: a version, And we also talked about the flip side
Speaker 2: of that of like the twist as He's gay happens
Speaker 2: several times in this movie. I don't know. This movie
Speaker 2: got nominated for a number of Teen Choice Awards and Razzies.
Speaker 2: I wanted to single went out because I think the
Speaker 2: Teen Choice Awards and the MTV Movie Awards and all
Speaker 2: of this there's always like a real datedness to not
Speaker 2: even the people nominated, but to the awards themselves. I
Speaker 2: think that there should be, if there isn't already, there
Speaker 2: could be a whole like doctoral thesis written about the
Speaker 2: empty the award for Best Kiss where so many I mean,
Speaker 2: I cover it in Lolita podcasts, where like a kiss
Speaker 2: from Lolita was nominated for Best Kiss at the MTV
Speaker 2: Movie Awards. Like, there's just all sorts of shit, but
Speaker 2: the one that stood out to me is not a
Speaker 2: I guess maybe I never watched the Teen Choice Awards.
Speaker 2: I don't really know, but there is a award for
Speaker 2: Choice Movie Colon hissy Fit. This award was given out
Speaker 2: through twenty eighteen. It has since been discontinued, which is
Speaker 2: really brave. The me Too movement, You know, it didn't
Speaker 2: do nothing.
Speaker 5: It killed Teen Choice Award for Choice hissy Fit, but
Speaker 5: I just wanted to shout out Jessica Bill was nominated.
Speaker 5: She did not win Choice hissy Fit for a scene
Speaker 5: where she lays on floor, so I just I don't
Speaker 5: know that was such. And then there's of course, Taylor
Speaker 5: Swift and Taylor Lotter were nominated for every kissing award
Speaker 5: there was, and bravely they lost I'm pretty sure to
Speaker 5: Kristen Stewart and Robert Patton. Whoa I know, double Taylor
Speaker 5: Lautner snub brutal. I'm just looking at who's one.
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess at least the hissy Fit Award
Speaker 2: is not just women who are nominated for it, which
Speaker 2: is sort of what I assumed. Oh wow, okay, so
Speaker 2: it's an inclusive all genders could have a hissy fit
Speaker 2: at the Teen Choice Awards. I just want to see
Speaker 2: who she was up against. Okay, So Miley Cyrus actually
Speaker 2: one one Choice hissy fit two years in a row.
Speaker 2: Congratulations to her for what Hannah Montana. She won for
Speaker 2: Handah Montana the movie in nine, and then she won
Speaker 2: for the last song question Mark in twenty ten.
Speaker 1: Oh that's one of those. I think it's a Nicholas
Speaker 1: Sparks adaptation.
Speaker 2: That sounds right. She's tied with Madeline Petch of Riverdale
Speaker 2: for most hissy Fit Awards won. Okay, so that's exciting.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to shout out that baffling award. So yeah,
Speaker 2: Miley Cyrus one Puff Daddy was also nominated for him
Speaker 2: is hissy Fit and get him to the Greek Giovanni
Speaker 2: Vrabisi was nominated for his hissy Fit and Avatar one.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And Vince Vaughn was nominated for his hissy
Speaker 2: Fit and Couple's Retreat.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: So you know, when it comes to that now defunct
Speaker 2: a word, I'm sure it was just an honor to
Speaker 2: be nominated.
Speaker 1: I'll go through the remaining things on my what the
Speaker 1: Fuck list? Sure, we've touched on a few of them.
Speaker 1: The ones we haven't touched on, the whole scene where
Speaker 1: that teen boy is naked in front of his girlfriend's
Speaker 1: mom and then runs out into the street while he's
Speaker 1: still naked. Sure. Emma Roberts tells basically everyone that she
Speaker 1: comes into contact with that she plans to have sex
Speaker 1: today for the first time. She tells her teacher, she
Speaker 1: tells the family she babysits for, people who don't necessarily
Speaker 1: need to know. But also I'm glad that she feels open.
Speaker 2: Kristin Shall gets to know.
Speaker 1: Oh Shall gets to Also, speaking of Christian Shall, don't
Speaker 1: disrespect her by putting her in the movie and only
Speaker 1: letting her have two lines. Also, Kathy Bates, don't disrespect
Speaker 1: Kathy Bates like that, I see.
Speaker 2: I disagree. I think the less you're in this movie,
Speaker 2: the more you are respected.
Speaker 1: Fair. Fair.
Speaker 2: I think Charlie McClain is in this movie too much.
Speaker 2: She's too good to be in this movie as.
Speaker 1: Much she is too good. What else let's see. Jennifer
Speaker 1: Garner is an elementary school teacher. She's teaching her young
Speaker 1: students about protons and electrons. They are supposed to be
Speaker 1: fifth graders, although some of them look like they're seven.
Speaker 2: Yeah. There's also like a kid who knows about the
Speaker 2: Saint Valentine's Day massacre in Chicago. Yeah, which I was like,
Speaker 2: who told him about that? That's what a prey?
Speaker 1: Cool? Either way, I don't think kids start learning about
Speaker 1: Adams when they're in fifth grade. I was learning about
Speaker 1: like nimbus clouds in science class, so that's not tracking.
Speaker 2: I was learning about Valentine's Day and protons in the
Speaker 2: same class.
Speaker 1: Okay, what else during the Little the little kid's name
Speaker 1: is Edison, I think whatever. He plays a soccer game.
Speaker 1: He's distracted because he's so freaking in love with Jennifer Garner.
Speaker 1: And then the ref comes up to him to encourage
Speaker 1: him to keep playing. Not the coach, but the ref.
Speaker 1: That is not the ref's job.
Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't even notice that.
Speaker 1: I don't think the people who wrote this movie understand
Speaker 1: how a soccer game is played. Final thing. Anne Hathaway
Speaker 1: wants to be a poet, so she's working for a
Speaker 1: sports agent because she says she wants to learn the business.
Speaker 1: As if working for a sports agent is going to
Speaker 1: help with her poetry career.
Speaker 2: She's a mess, you know. Oh another line I liked,
Speaker 2: call me mister engaged. Sure, there's a moment. This is
Speaker 2: like an attempted, botched, really confusing joke. It's another offensive
Speaker 2: thing that happens at the Ashton Kutcher Flower World. There's
Speaker 2: a woman with a baby in front of a nun
Speaker 2: in line for flowers. She needs to hand the baby
Speaker 2: to someone to hold flowers. Question mark. The nun says,
Speaker 2: I will hold the baby. She says, you should know
Speaker 2: we're Jewish, and I was like, well, so we're gonna
Speaker 2: miss on that joke. And then and wait, good keeps
Speaker 2: going though because the nun is like it's okay, God
Speaker 2: loves everyone or something, and then the baby collaps for
Speaker 2: the nun's tolerance. It's really weird. It's really bizarre. I
Speaker 2: also liked the scene. We mentioned this before, but I
Speaker 2: wrote to some of the lines because Taylor Swift's line
Speaker 2: reads bless her heart. They're just not very good. But
Speaker 2: that scene where she's in the elevator with Jennifer Carter
Speaker 2: and Taylor Swift is like, I have to go to school.
Speaker 2: I have a boyfriend, I live here. I hope to
Speaker 2: get a lot of Valentine's Valentine's Day. Isn't this sweet
Speaker 2: that my boyfriend got me this bear. I have to
Speaker 2: go to school. You're just like she's just talking and
Speaker 2: talking and talking, and it's like supposed to be a joke.
Speaker 2: But it also just feels like it was written by AI.
Speaker 2: This whole movie feels like it was maybe written by AI.
Speaker 1: The one compliment I will pay this movie is the
Speaker 1: movie does take the time during the press conference where
Speaker 1: Eric Dane says I'm gay and I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Play thank you for saying it.
Speaker 1: Of course, the movie does take the time to cut
Speaker 1: away to a sign language interpreter who is signing during
Speaker 1: Eric Dane's speech. That's I appreciated that because that rarely happens.
Speaker 1: That's rarely shown on screen. You never see that in movies.
Speaker 1: So that's a good point. I was like, Wow, not
Speaker 1: that that character ever comes back, like the sign interpreter.
Speaker 2: I mean, but I do appreciate that, Like, yeah, that
Speaker 2: that was just like a normalized part of the world.
Speaker 2: That's a good point.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: I also wanted to shout at the actor who plays Ronnie,
Speaker 2: who is like the love interest of Edison. She is
Speaker 2: now a very successful working actor. She was in one
Speaker 2: of my favorite movies to watch on a plane missing
Speaker 2: Have you seen it? I love a computer movie. I
Speaker 2: love a movie that happens on the computer. She's storm
Speaker 2: Read's best friend.
Speaker 1: Is that the John Chow and Deborah Messing is also
Speaker 1: their movie.
Speaker 2: No Zion is. Deborah Messing is not in this movie.
Speaker 2: This is the new one It came out last year,
Speaker 2: where Gabrielle Union plays a bomb who goes missing. The
Speaker 2: first one is called Searching. This is missing. It takes
Speaker 2: place in the Searching universe. I don't know why you
Speaker 2: would get confused, but she's also she's also in a
Speaker 2: typical she was in Never Have I Ever, and she
Speaker 2: was in Poker Face. Okay, I feel that I'm too
Speaker 2: old to watch all of those shows, but there's no.
Speaker 1: Such thing as being too old for anything.
Speaker 2: If my sure, I guess what I'm saying is I
Speaker 2: probably won't watch those shows. But it's nice. I feel
Speaker 2: like it's very rare that you see like a character
Speaker 2: actor with one scene who goes on to have it
Speaker 2: seems like a pretty successful career. And she's like only
Speaker 2: in her early mid twenties, So shout out to her
Speaker 2: nose and her having Frank Zappa on her iPod or whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeap, do you have anything else you'd like to say, Jamie.
Speaker 2: I'd like to say that I'm gay and I'm going
Speaker 2: to play. But that's all I have to say at
Speaker 2: this time. I have an announcement. Uh just it's like
Speaker 2: the raw conviction with which he says the line is
Speaker 2: really awesome. And again, I really do think it's like
Speaker 2: it is a impactful, like cool thing that that character
Speaker 2: is included an out and the even though it's unbelievably
Speaker 2: dated and messy, that the movie is like supportive of him. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then it's just like that they wrote that line
Speaker 2: down and that's awesome. So yeah, shout out to Eric Dane,
Speaker 2: a man whose face I just can never commit to memory. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the movies he's in this year in twenty ten or
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day and Burlesque, this is like a banterer year
Speaker 2: for him, being in some of the worst movies of
Speaker 2: our time.
Speaker 1: Just one last thing on his character. And admittedly I
Speaker 1: did zero research on this, and I know really nothing
Speaker 1: about the NFL. But oh, since that movie came out,
Speaker 1: I think a number of NFL players have come out
Speaker 1: as gay. And I honestly, again because I did no research,
Speaker 1: don't know what the response to that was from the NFL,
Speaker 1: from the general public. I simply don't know. But I
Speaker 1: know that this is a thing and maybe I'll research
Speaker 1: more about it. But because I do not care anything
Speaker 1: about American football, I didn't bother.
Speaker 2: I don't think you need to apologize for otisfied. Yeah,
Speaker 2: to the extent that it's like professional football is still
Speaker 2: unbelievably homophobic, and anyone who does come out is even
Speaker 2: if they're accepted by the league, are generally bombarded with
Speaker 2: hate speech from a lot of professional football fans.
Speaker 1: So I'm reading here that I'm a player named Carl
Speaker 1: Nassib was the NFL's first openly gay player to play
Speaker 1: in a regular season game in twenty twenty one, so
Speaker 1: eleven years after this movie came out.
Speaker 2: So I don't want to like not as mishandled as
Speaker 2: it is, this plot point was a bit ahead of
Speaker 2: its time, and I also wanted to because I guess
Speaker 2: if we have Gray's Anatomy fans listening to this, I
Speaker 2: truly haven't seen in an episode. Sorry. So apparently Eric
Speaker 2: Dane is mixed Steamy to Patrick Dempsey's Make Dreamy, So
Speaker 2: I'm sure that in two thousand ten people were like
Speaker 2: mc Stevie and Make Dreamy in the same Anyways, I'm
Speaker 2: sure it's a great show. I haven't watched it and
Speaker 2: I won't in same but that is probably a very
Speaker 2: critical I'm sure that that is like what he was
Speaker 2: most famous for at this time was being he was
Speaker 2: four years deep on mixed steam when he was in
Speaker 2: this movie. So there you go. There you go, I
Speaker 2: have nothing else to say.
Speaker 1: This movie, as we mentioned, does pass the Bechdel test
Speaker 1: a few times. For example, when Jennifer Garner and Jessica
Speaker 1: Biale talk about the I hate Valentine's Day party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it quickly derails.
Speaker 1: Right, It's mostly very small exchanges that are part of
Speaker 1: larger conversations that don't pass the Bechdel test. Most exchanges
Speaker 1: in the movie are about heterolove and attraction. It's a
Speaker 1: lot of men and women talking to each other. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of women talking to other women about men,
Speaker 1: but it's also men talking to each other about women,
Speaker 1: such as when Ashton Kutcher and George Lopez talk about
Speaker 1: like mushy romantic love. Right, But you don't see very
Speaker 1: much in movies, So I was like, okay.
Speaker 2: Again, would have been helpful if you got to see
Speaker 2: George Lopez's relationship at all until all in silent montage
Speaker 2: right late in the movie. But yeah, it is. I
Speaker 2: guess you do have like a lot of people in
Speaker 2: this movie that are hopeless romantics of all genders, right,
Speaker 2: or of the two genders that this movie recognizes. Right,
Speaker 2: And then the same is true in the reverse, where
Speaker 2: it's like you have, although it's not quite in the
Speaker 2: same way where I feel like you don't unless there's
Speaker 2: so many people. Maybe I'm wrong about this, but I
Speaker 2: don't think that there's a woman in this movie who
Speaker 2: is like fuck love. You get Jessica Biel being like
Speaker 2: I want love so badly that it's ruining my life
Speaker 2: and I'm laying on the floor, which is quite different.
Speaker 1: Right, I don't really get Jessica Bile's thing where it's
Speaker 1: like I hate Valentine's Stay so much, not for any
Speaker 1: institutional reasons, it's more because I'm so freaking lonely and pathetic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it makes no sense.
Speaker 1: And okay, oh I forgot to mention this. When Jennifer
Speaker 1: Garner is describing her friend, who turns out to be
Speaker 1: Jessica Bile, she's describing her as neurotic and a hot mess.
Speaker 1: We're like, that's not a nice way to talk about
Speaker 1: your friend.
Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, I was like, wow, do you guys
Speaker 2: like each other? Also, how do you guys know each other?
Speaker 1: How does anybody know each other? In this movie?
Speaker 2: They all go to the same plate studio or something like,
Speaker 2: we don't We're not given the reason this movie takes
Speaker 2: place in space, like I don't even know. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: hope that the couple that got married at the Indian
Speaker 2: restaurant sued Jessica Bihl for making such a loud ass
Speaker 2: party about how much they hated love directly facing their wedding.
Speaker 1: Rude, so rude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know this. It's a funny, bad movie.
Speaker 2: Like I would watch this in a group. It feels
Speaker 2: ripe for a drinking game.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say I would play a drinking
Speaker 1: game to this movie. Yeah, absolutely, But.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it does tactically pass the Bechtel test. I think
Speaker 2: it also passes between like Anne Hathaway and Queening Latifa
Speaker 2: at some point. But their conversation is so bizarre that
Speaker 2: you're like, is this a meaningful exchange of dialogue? Does
Speaker 2: a meaningful exchange of dialogue exist in this world? Hard
Speaker 2: not say. But what about our metric, which is important.
Speaker 1: Our nipple scale where we rate the movie zero two
Speaker 1: five nipples based on examining the movie through an intersectional
Speaker 1: feminist lens. I'm giving it, as I already foreshadowed negative
Speaker 1: five nipples the end.
Speaker 2: I'm going to give it half of one nipple actually
Speaker 2: for attempting to include gay characters in twenty ten, even
Speaker 2: though they do arguably a not good job, horrible job.
Speaker 2: I feel like the fact that there was even an
Speaker 2: attempt that is not openly hateful. It's just laden with stereotypes.
Speaker 2: But that's a very very small comfort. But like I
Speaker 2: do think that that is something that most movies in
Speaker 2: twenty ten had no interest in even attempting. So true,
Speaker 2: there you go, there's that and kind of yucky to
Speaker 2: everything else. Did I have fun watching it? Was I laughing? Yes?
Speaker 1: I mean I was tee heeing quite a bit.
Speaker 2: It's fun. It's fun to live in a world where
Speaker 2: George Lopez is always outside your door quoting roomy, Sure,
Speaker 2: why not?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I would have half nipple and I'm going
Speaker 2: to give it to Megan Surrey who played Ronnie.
Speaker 1: Oh nice, nice. If I had to give anything to anyone,
Speaker 1: it would be Kathy Bates. Oh yeah, God, but I
Speaker 1: have no nipples to give.
Speaker 2: It felt like she that was like community service for
Speaker 2: her or something like she like got a speeding ticket
Speaker 2: and then she had to be in Valentine's Day. That
Speaker 2: should be what famous actors have to do when they
Speaker 2: like do a parking violation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree. Well, listeners, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for indulging us on this Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's true.
Speaker 1: May your holiday be not as pepe poo poo as
Speaker 1: this movie is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I honestly I wouldn't wish the fate of any
Speaker 2: of these characters on any of you. You're welcome. Yeah wow,
Speaker 2: And yeah, Caitlin and I will probably what like, drink
Speaker 2: it your last tonight. Yeah, true traditions, tradition.
Speaker 1: Baby, So thanks for listening. You can follow us on
Speaker 1: social media at Bechdelcast. You can subscribe to our Patreon
Speaker 1: aka Matreon, where we are doing wedding Webuary. So it's
Speaker 1: a couple wedding related movies, just a deep in theme
Speaker 1: with love.
Speaker 2: We love love. But do we go over there to
Speaker 2: check it out. It's five bucks a month and you
Speaker 2: also get access to our back catalog of over one
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty episodes if you could believe it. It's
Speaker 2: a super fun community over there. We have fun over there,
Speaker 2: we sure do. So. Yeah, check us out over there.
Speaker 2: Follow us on Instagram, Twitter. We still sometimes updates sometimes
Speaker 2: and stay tuned because we have some tour information coming
Speaker 2: out in the near Future.
Speaker 1: We sure do. Okay, Bye Hi. The Bechdel Cast is
Speaker 1: a production of iHeartMedia, hosted by Caitlin Derante and Jamie Loftis,
Speaker 1: produced by Sophie Lichterman, edited by Mola Board. Our theme
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