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Speaker 1: This episode contains content that may be disturbing to some listeners.

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Speaker 1: Please check the show notes for more information. Disgraceland is

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Speaker 1: a production of Double Elvis. The stories about Anthony Bourdain

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Speaker 1: are insane. As a struggling cook and writer, he chased

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Speaker 1: the romance of a heroin addiction through the restaurant kitchens

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Speaker 1: and grimy rock clubs of nineteen eighties Manhattan. He published

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Speaker 1: his first book of nonfiction at the age of forty

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Speaker 1: three and became an overnight success. He parlayed success as

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Speaker 1: a writer into success as a TV host, traveling all

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Speaker 1: over the world, dining with rock stars, presidents, and everyone

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Speaker 1: in between. He dodged bullets, the real and figurative kind,

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Speaker 1: the figurative kind from the tabloids having the most impact,

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Speaker 1: and through it all, Anthony Bourdain made great art. Nothing

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Speaker 1: like that cheesy loop I played for you at the

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Speaker 1: top of the show. That was not great art. That

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Speaker 1: was a preset loop for my Melotron called high Steak

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Speaker 1: Steakout MK two. I played you that loop because I

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Speaker 1: can't afford the rights to Maria Maria by Santana featuring

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Speaker 1: the product GMB And why would I play you that

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Speaker 1: specific slice of nylon stringed Spanish Harlem Cheese. Could I

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Speaker 1: afford it? Because that was the number one song in

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Speaker 1: America On May twenty second, two thousand and that was

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Speaker 1: the day Anthony Bourdain published Kitchen Confidential, forever changing his

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Speaker 1: life and enriching hours. On this episode, Chase Heroin through

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Speaker 1: Lower Manhattan, an overnight's success beers with the President, an

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Speaker 1: insatiable lust for life in Anthony Bourdain, I'm Jake Brennan,

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Speaker 1: and this this disgrace Land, chapter one, The Not So

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Speaker 1: Blushing Bride, Provincetown, Massachusetts. The edge of the world, some

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Speaker 1: might say, the beginning of my world. At least that's

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Speaker 1: what they'll say when I'm dead, when all the dust

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Speaker 1: is settled, when the tabs have lost interest, and when

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Speaker 1: the truly curious are still hanging around to pick through

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Speaker 1: the remains of what once was, if not a perfect life,

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Speaker 1: a damn interesting one in Peetown, as they call it.

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Speaker 1: The point isn't to lose oneself on the edge of nowhere,

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Speaker 1: but to find yourself, or perhaps to find who you

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Speaker 1: might one day become. Wait a minute, hold up, hold up,

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Speaker 1: this is not this. This is something else. This is

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Speaker 1: this Bobby was giving into the bride from behind, like

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Speaker 1: a drunken pirate. She panted in delight. She was bent

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Speaker 1: over a fifty five gallon drummer cooking grease, and Bobby's

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Speaker 1: apron was pulled up over his belly. His pants were

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Speaker 1: down around his ankles. Her white wedding gown somehow still

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Speaker 1: looked pure under the Province Town moonlight. Myself and the

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Speaker 1: other dishwasher and the cooks howled up the moon from

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Speaker 1: the back door of the kitchen, egging on Bobby, our

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Speaker 1: head chef here at the dreadnought inside the dining room

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Speaker 1: at the bride's wedding reception, neither her, her assembled family,

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Speaker 1: nor her newly wet husband had any idea what was

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Speaker 1: happening out back with the kitchen staff. That was Anthony

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Speaker 1: Bourdain's secret weapon. Most of the world had no idea

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Speaker 1: what was happening out back with the kitchen staff. He

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Speaker 1: used that secret knowledge to carve out a writing career

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Speaker 1: unlike any other, beginning with his debut work of nonfiction,

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Speaker 1: Kitchen Confidential, published in two thousand, which became an instant

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Speaker 1: smash hit and transformed Anthony's life overnight. From capable chef

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Speaker 1: in a good not Great Manhattan restaurant to a New

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Speaker 1: York Times bestseller and in demand media Darling anecdotes like

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Speaker 1: the aforementioned Not So Blushing Bride, of course, an anecdote

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Speaker 1: that Anthony Bourdain claims made him want to be a chef,

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Speaker 1: had a lot to do with the book's success. Anthony

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Speaker 1: or Tony as his friends called him, approached his subject

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Speaker 1: food and the culture of chefs and the people who

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Speaker 1: made kitchens run like his hero Iggy pop godfather of punk,

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Speaker 1: approached his own subject, rock and roll, with a potent

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Speaker 1: mix of danger, truth, and charisma. At times, it seemed

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Speaker 1: like danger was the point. Danger was where the action was.

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Speaker 1: Give me danger, a little stranger, food or making. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't merely a job or a profession. It was just

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Speaker 1: like rock and roll, a lifestyle. And for guys like

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Speaker 1: Tony Boardine, the journeyman, the back of house pirates, the

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Speaker 1: guys who steered ships of twenty or more staff, many

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Speaker 1: of them alcoholics, drug addicts, ex cons, immigrants both legal

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Speaker 1: and illegal, it was a romantic lifestyle. Ask any writer

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Speaker 1: and they'll tell you that romance can be a great

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Speaker 1: tool for storytelling. That goes for works of non fiction

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Speaker 1: and for three coord punk. Was Tony's story about the

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Speaker 1: pe town bride who was defiled on her wedding night? True?

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Speaker 1: Or was it just a way of romanticizing his backstory?

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Speaker 1: Who cares? There's a great story? Was I Want to

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Speaker 1: Be Your Dog? True? Who cares? It's a great song? Truth?

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Speaker 1: Isn't the point? Storytelling is the point. Creating is the point,

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Speaker 1: and to create is to love, to bring love into

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Speaker 1: the world, which Anthony Bourdin most certainly did with his writing.

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Speaker 1: The love he inspired brought him unimaginable success, success that

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Speaker 1: eventually led him to standing on a beach with his hero,

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Speaker 1: Iggy Pop. In twenty fifteen, more than a decade after

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Speaker 1: that story about the bride was published, Tony asks Iggy

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Speaker 1: Pop what his definition of a perfect day is, and

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Speaker 1: Iggy goes on to describe his perfect day. It involves

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Speaker 1: a beach, the big Florida sun sparkling on the ocean.

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Speaker 1: In the positivity one can derive from such an experience,

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Speaker 1: particularly when it's spent with a loved one, that's a

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Speaker 1: far cry from what one would expect from a man

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Speaker 1: who once proclaimed to the world that he was a

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Speaker 1: street walking cheetah with a heart full of napon and

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Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain looks bewildered by his hero's answer because Iggy

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Speaker 1: Pop gave Anthony Bourdin the truth, and the truth is

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Speaker 1: hard for a romantic to come to terms with. Throughout

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Speaker 1: twentieth century American culture, the concept of the junkie has

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Speaker 1: been thoroughly romanticized, from Miles Davis to William S. Burrows

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Speaker 1: to Iggy Pop and Kurt Cobaine for a certain type

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Speaker 1: of subversive leaning, literary minded, rock and roll bent, transgressive

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Speaker 1: dudes who may be paid a little too much attention

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Speaker 1: to Lou Reed's lyrics. Dudes who were always first in

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Speaker 1: line to do whatever new drugs showed up to the

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Speaker 1: party last, who were always taking more, doing less, aspiring

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Speaker 1: to little. To these dudes, Heroin wasn't something to be avoided.

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Speaker 1: Heroin or junk was something to aspire to. Nineteen eighty,

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Speaker 1: young Tony Vordain didn't know who exactly he was looking for,

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Speaker 1: but he knew what he wanted. He and a friend

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Speaker 1: slowly cruised Second Avenue and a beat up Volkswagen Rabbit.

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Speaker 1: The Manhattan street was dark, near dead at this hour,

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Speaker 1: and the two white boys were hunting for dope. Or

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Speaker 1: more specifically, hunting for a dope dealer, actually a dope dealership.

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Speaker 1: In those days, dealers didn't text you on a Friday

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Speaker 1: to see if you were set for the weekend and

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Speaker 1: then run the small baggie of brown up to your

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Speaker 1: apartment via bike messenger. No, and in those days, in

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Speaker 1: the bat old days, you had to swipe your sh sharpest,

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Speaker 1: stealthiest knife from the kitchen, concealed it in an item

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Speaker 1: of clothing that wouldn't result in you stabbing yourself, and

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Speaker 1: head into the part of town that took no prisoners

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Speaker 1: and produced only casualties, New York's Lower East Side, looking

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Speaker 1: for a fix, just like Iggy Pop, just like Lou Reed,

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Speaker 1: and just like Johnny Thunders. And you weren't on the

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Speaker 1: lookout for some pimp and a big straw hat standing

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Speaker 1: on the corner either. You were looking for a hole

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Speaker 1: in the wall the size of a Dodge Challenger, A

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Speaker 1: hole in the wall that looked about as inviting as

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Speaker 1: a den of hungry wolves. A hole in the wall

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Speaker 1: that served up one thing heroin. Even cops didn't fuck

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Speaker 1: with places like these, but you did because you were different.

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Speaker 1: You weren't like those other guys those pajama boys back

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Speaker 1: at Vassa, or the snobs back at CIA, the Culinary

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Speaker 1: Institute of America upstate, where you learned a lot, but

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Speaker 1: nothing is important as how to keep your knife sharp

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Speaker 1: and your witch sharper. The snobs and the pajama boys

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Speaker 1: had a lot in common. For one, there were fucking Philistines,

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Speaker 1: and they couldn't tell you the difference between George Orwell

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Speaker 1: or Orville Reddenbacher. And they had no fucking heart either.

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Speaker 1: You had heart. The Vassar boys, your classmates at CIA.

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Speaker 1: They'd never know the thrill of scoring in a seny

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Speaker 1: lower east side drug dewn like you did. And they'd

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Speaker 1: never know the complication of having to score heroin between

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Speaker 1: staff meal and the first rush, either unnecessary challenge your

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Speaker 1: junkie ass now to solve every night to keep from

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Speaker 1: puking all over the entrees as they flew off the line.

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Speaker 1: Yet you figured it out because it was the early eighties.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, other than a new heroin habit and a

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Speaker 1: shitty job, you took an outsized amount of pride in

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Speaker 1: you had little, but you were Anthony fucking Bourdine, and

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Speaker 1: the one thing you did have was a Lust for Life,

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Speaker 1: Chapter two, Nancy with the laughing face. The heart of

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Speaker 1: Manhattan beats from the working class bus drivers and bus boys,

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Speaker 1: working stiffs and waitresses, bartenders pouring punch out cold ones

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Speaker 1: to stiff up her lips, Taxi drivers and doormen with

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Speaker 1: more information than you need daily rag scribes and night watchmen, cops,

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Speaker 1: construction workers, dealers too, And if you're not careful, you'll

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Speaker 1: get caught up in the grind and miss the beauty

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Speaker 1: of the sweat and the hustle, lose it all to

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Speaker 1: the bustling sound of the lone in some streets, wake

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Speaker 1: up in a midtown high rise with a mortgage and

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Speaker 1: a wife and a kid in a separate apartment. But

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Speaker 1: if you keep your ears open each night, you'll hear

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Speaker 1: the sound of the mission bell, that universal sign that

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Speaker 1: it's time to blow off steam, quitting time that when

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Speaker 1: you're too tired to think and too wired to go home,

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Speaker 1: this is the time when you're reminded of your station

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Speaker 1: in life, reminded of where you're supposed to be, bellied

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Speaker 1: up to the bar with the rest of your kind,

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Speaker 1: cursing your boss's greed and your customer's stupidity, toasting your

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Speaker 1: coworkers on a job well done, fairly ready for a

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Speaker 1: four hour crash and inevitable hangover, and unspoken gratitude for

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Speaker 1: the fact that you get to get up too early,

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Speaker 1: too sore, and too smart to know any better, so

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Speaker 1: that you, my friend, can go back to work and

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Speaker 1: do it all over again. To an outsider, the kitchen

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Speaker 1: during the nightly rush looked and sounded like chaos. But

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Speaker 1: you've got it all under control. Sure. The slips of

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Speaker 1: firing in muirapido signor, and the floor staff looks haggard

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Speaker 1: and scared, and the dishwasher's gone on one of his

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Speaker 1: midshift sabbaticals in the back alley, and the sioux chef

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Speaker 1: may have just quit, or he may just be in

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Speaker 1: the can with explosive diarrhea, and no one will acknowledge

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Speaker 1: that the phone has been rigging unanswered, for what you

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Speaker 1: swear to God has been all frigging night long, and

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Speaker 1: the owner just decided that right fucking now, of all

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Speaker 1: times is the time to pop in to bust your

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Speaker 1: balls in front of his investors. Yes, that all may

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Speaker 1: be happening at the moment, and it might spell chaos

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Speaker 1: for the uninitiated civilian looking in on your kitchen. But

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Speaker 1: you're no civilian. You're a professional chef, or at least

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Speaker 1: a very capable cook, And this is your kitchen, even

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Speaker 1: if you don't want a piece, even if you're fighting

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Speaker 1: a daily heroin jones, even if you're a functioning alcoholic,

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Speaker 1: even if you haven't seen your new wife in the

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Speaker 1: daylight in six weeks, and even if you can't speak

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Speaker 1: Spanish yet that's all that most of your employees speak.

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Speaker 1: Even if your fish guy went on the lamb and

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Speaker 1: your neat guy is a returning your calls. None of

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Speaker 1: this matt because you thrive in this chaos. In fact,

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Speaker 1: this isn't chaos at all. This to you, for some

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Speaker 1: unexplained reason, makes sense. It's organized, at least to you,

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Speaker 1: it is. You know your way around these challenges. You

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Speaker 1: and you alone know how to solve these problems. But

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Speaker 1: these are the only problems you know how to solve.

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Speaker 1: Kitchen problems. Outside the kitchen, that's chaos. You haven't paid

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Speaker 1: your rent on time. Well ever, you're perpetually three months

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Speaker 1: behind and dodging your landlord. The creditors are after you,

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Speaker 1: and the taxman looms that you haven't been to a

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Speaker 1: doctor for a preemptive checkup for what seems to be

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Speaker 1: your entire adult life, and you're barreling toward middle aged

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Speaker 1: with a needle hanging out of your arm during a

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Speaker 1: time in history when intravenous drug use can spell instant death.

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Speaker 1: It's July in your Christmas tree is still standing in

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Speaker 1: the corner of your apartment, better than Vince Geralde and

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Speaker 1: twice as pathetic as Charlie Brown. You and your wife

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Speaker 1: if Nancy, are too ashamed to even bring it down

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Speaker 1: to the corner for the trash man to pick up,

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Speaker 1: for fear of what your neighbors might think. You have

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Speaker 1: next to no social life. You subsist on Deli sandwiches

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Speaker 1: and Simpson's reruns. Life as you live it is barely

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Speaker 1: any life at all. But work is where you thrived,

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Speaker 1: and after work is when you come alive. The sun ruled,

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Speaker 1: the sun king on the beach, crashed out, tanning away,

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Speaker 1: the heroin power asleep in the sand. In the late

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Speaker 1: morning hours before that, it was the train out to

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Speaker 1: rock Away, nodding out, having finished the last of your smack,

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Speaker 1: freaking out the civilians on their early morning rush hour

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Speaker 1: Commute Club fifty seven, the Mud Club CBGB, wherever junkie

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Speaker 1: guitar players reigned supreme on stage. You were there, passed

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Speaker 1: the line of pedestrians to the sympathetic door man who'd

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Speaker 1: been bribed with steak sandwiches from your kitchen, the kitchen

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Speaker 1: you'd closed hours ago. You hit the bar after closing

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Speaker 1: with a couple employees. Someone thought ninety six tiers by

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Speaker 1: question Mark and the Mysterious was a good idea. Then

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Speaker 1: they were right. It blasted from the jukebox, A fat

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Speaker 1: line of coke was laid out on said bar along

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Speaker 1: the length of the entire bar. The adult portion of

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Speaker 1: the evening was now in full effect, commenced by you

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Speaker 1: mounting the bar, getting down on all fours, and hoovering

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Speaker 1: as much of that long line of blow as your

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Speaker 1: aching heart would allow. You needed to bump something to

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Speaker 1: come back from the weakness brought on by the illicit

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Speaker 1: rendezvous in the dry goods area with the cute waitress. Hey,

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Speaker 1: it happened, so what. You don't know how it got started.

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Speaker 1: It just did sort of like this night. It just

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Speaker 1: got started, sort of like all the nights you scammed,

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Speaker 1: you sprinted, you ran hard and fast, hard and fast,

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Speaker 1: away from yourself, until finally you ended up right back

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Speaker 1: where you started in the kitchen, unless, of course, it

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Speaker 1: was a day off. Then you couldn't run away. You

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Speaker 1: couldn't hide from yourself or from what you'd become a junkie.

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Speaker 1: When there was nowhere left to go, and no more

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Speaker 1: drugs left to do, no shifts to pick up, you

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Speaker 1: found yourself where you feared you would inevitably end up alone.

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Speaker 1: Not even your junkie wife could help. She was nodding

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Speaker 1: off on her own trip. So it was just you,

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Speaker 1: just you in the deep dark, dirty mirror, alone at

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Speaker 1: rock bottom. Fuck this cold turkey. You kicked no twelve steps,

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Speaker 1: no self help, gooers, no meetings, hardcore like the man said,

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Speaker 1: except in the other direction. You use methodone to wean off.

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Speaker 1: But your biggest weapon was your lust for life. You

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Speaker 1: turned that junkie appetite around and gobbled up whatever life

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Speaker 1: had left to give you. You were still a young

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Speaker 1: man and there was still a life to be had.

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Speaker 1: You went from lime cook to chef layout like you.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't great, it was good, good enough. You worked

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Speaker 1: that restaurant hard and fed that yearning to be something else,

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Speaker 1: something more, something better. After hours under your typewriter, you

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Speaker 1: wrote two crime novels, Bone and Throat and Gone Bamboo.

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Speaker 1: The critics pretty much said the same thing, that both

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Speaker 1: books were like the restaurant, you ran good, not great.

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Speaker 1: You kept going because what else were you going to do?

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Speaker 1: Moving forward was all you'd ever done in this life.

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Speaker 1: You worked even harder, kept that kitchen humming, and you

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Speaker 1: continued to write. Writing replaced junk. You couldn't not write.

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Speaker 1: It was the first thing you did every morning. Well

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Speaker 1: it was the second thing. Actually, the first thing you

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Speaker 1: did was smoke a cigarette. Then you wrote, before even

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Speaker 1: brushing your teeth, before kissing your wife Nancy, before taking

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Speaker 1: a shit, you wrote what you knew now. Sally the

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Speaker 1: Wig and Chef Tommy were fun and all, but who

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Speaker 1: were you kidding? You weren't Don DeLillo. You were Raoul

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Speaker 1: Duke Chef's whites. And this new writing was fresh because

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Speaker 1: it was desperate. It was all you had left. It

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Speaker 1: was a junkie move all in. No bullshit, Okay, a

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Speaker 1: little bullshit like the bit about fish on Monday and

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Speaker 1: perhaps the Provincetown Bride over the Barrel, But I digress.

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Speaker 1: You sent a couple thousand words into The New Yorker.

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Speaker 1: David Remnick wouldn't give you the time of day until

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Speaker 1: your mom. Your mom used a connection to get him

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Speaker 1: to read it. How uncool is that, having to get

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Speaker 1: your mom to help you get published? But what did

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Speaker 1: you care? Lou Reid moved back in with his parents

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Speaker 1: after he was in the Velvet Underground and went to

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Speaker 1: work for his dad's accounting firm again. After he was

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Speaker 1: in the Velvet Underground. Things weren't yet that bad for you,

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Speaker 1: so fire away, mom. It worked. David Remnick loved what

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Speaker 1: you wrote, of course he did. The piece you wrote

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Speaker 1: that Remnick published in the New Yorker don't eat before

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Speaker 1: reading this was the type of magazine phenomenon that is

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Speaker 1: hard to imagine in this day and age, the modern

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Speaker 1: era of the Internet. There you were walking down Park

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Speaker 1: Avenue on your way to work like you did every day,

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Speaker 1: except perhaps today you were walking with a little bit

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Speaker 1: more swagger than usual. The New Yorker article was the

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Speaker 1: shit that you knew it. Nancy knew it, Everyone fucking

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Speaker 1: knew it. There was only one problem. Did your boss,

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Speaker 1: the owner of lay All, did he know it? Or

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Speaker 1: was he pissed. Did all the behind the scenes kitchen

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Speaker 1: exploits rub him the wrong way? Shit? Were you going

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Speaker 1: to peacock into work today and get fired? You rounded

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Speaker 1: the corner and there they were news trucks outside your

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Speaker 1: restaurant waiting for you. Your article prompted a mini media

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Speaker 1: sensation right there on Park Avenue, And oh how delighted

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Speaker 1: the news crews were when they jammed their microphones in

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Speaker 1: your face and blasted their sun guns, only to realize

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Speaker 1: that you were naturally camera ready and they weren't the

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Speaker 1: only one to notice. The article led to a full

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Speaker 1: on book deal Kitchen Confidential, And this, my friend, was

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Speaker 1: no mini sensation. This was the real deal, a phenomenon,

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Speaker 1: a New York Times bestseller, Oprah Letterman, high fives from

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Speaker 1: construction workers as you walk down the street. Kind of famous.

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Speaker 1: You ate it all up. You took every opportunity your

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Speaker 1: newfound publishing fame brought you, and you knew all too

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Speaker 1: well what it was like to not be famous, and

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Speaker 1: now you had life by the throat and you weren't

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Speaker 1: going to let go. So when they showed up looking

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Speaker 1: to talk to you about a TV show idea, you

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Speaker 1: were skeptical. But you listened. Then you got on a plane.

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Speaker 1: Then you got divorced. Then you ventured out into truly

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Speaker 1: uncharted waters towards something you'd never fully experienced before, happiness

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Speaker 1: and self contentment. We'll be right back after this. Were

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Speaker 1: were where chapter three Alatavia. Love, as they say, is

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Speaker 1: a many splendid thing. They also say love is a

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Speaker 1: burning flame, and that love will tear us apart. I

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00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,719
Speaker 1: found all three of these quotes to be true at

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Speaker 1: various parts of my life. But perhaps the most truthful

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Speaker 1: quote about love comes from my hero uncle lou Lou Reid,

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Speaker 1: who said, you do what you love, or you get arrested.

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Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain made it out of the kitchen. Anthony Bourdain

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Speaker 1: was freed from the grind. Anthony Bourdain was a best

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Speaker 1: selling author. Suddenly, to the surprise of everyone, including himself,

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Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain was now a television star, and Anthony Bourdain

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Speaker 1: was in love. Two thousand and five, five years after

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Speaker 1: Kitchen Confidential was published, Anthony Bourdain's television series No Reservations

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Speaker 1: debuted for the Travel Channel. It was not your normal

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Speaker 1: food or travel show. It was almost entirely subjective, more

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Speaker 1: gonzo journalism presented through a different medium and for a

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Speaker 1: different millennium. This wasn't early two thousands reality TV, and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't some cuddly roly poly chef molded for Middle America.

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Speaker 1: This was a street walking Chiah ready to get his

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Speaker 1: eat on. The show's concept was simple. Best selling food

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Speaker 1: author Anthony Bourdain would travel to different locales around the world,

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Speaker 1: sample the local fare, and comment on it. But the

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Speaker 1: show was different because of well, Anthony Bourdain. Tony was

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00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: a totally unique character. Tall, lanky, dark, strangely handsome, and

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Speaker 1: armed with a lifetime of blue collar kitchen experience, hard

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Speaker 1: working experience that was relatable and that softened his cutting

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Speaker 1: wit and obvious intelligence. Tony displayed an encyclopedic understanding of

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Speaker 1: culture of books, movies, music, but things that bind people

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Speaker 1: together that don't come out of a kitchen. All of

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Speaker 1: this constituted a totally unique point of view that Tony

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Speaker 1: delivered with humor and curiosity, and the dude could write.

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Speaker 1: His narrations for episodic TV remained some of the best

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Speaker 1: examples of subjective journalism that I've ever heard. Hunter S. Thompson,

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Speaker 1: Joan Diddion, Dominic Dunn, Anthony Bourdain, his writing was that good.

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Speaker 1: Almost instantly, Tony elevated himself to the level of some

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Speaker 1: of the greatest to ever do it. He was fearless

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Speaker 1: when it came to his point of view, and he

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Speaker 1: was nothing if not curious and empathetic. Part of the

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Speaker 1: show's appeal was Tony's ability to break bread with people

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Speaker 1: from all walks of life, from completely different so social

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Speaker 1: and economic backgrounds Montana ranchers, Sardinian pig farmers, Muslims, Jews,

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Speaker 1: ted fucking nugent, didn't matter politics, religion, whatever. If you

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Speaker 1: liked to eat, if you had ears and could open

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Speaker 1: them up and listen, then Tony Bourdin could find common

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Speaker 1: ground around the dinner table. Hunger was at Tony's core.

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Speaker 1: If he went at his job and his newfound success

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Speaker 1: with an insatiable energy, you could sense that he had

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Speaker 1: life by the balls finally, and that he wasn't going

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Speaker 1: to let go ever, And we didn't want him to.

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Speaker 1: We like him, were hungry for more. But Tony's hunger

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00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 1: was a junkies hunger, all consuming. There are no part

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Speaker 1: time heroin addicts, and though Tony kicked his addiction years

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00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 1: before becoming successful, the addiction never kicked him. Tony just

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00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 1: shifted his addiction from heroin to work and then to

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00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 1: a top Anthony Bourdain's television career was responsible for the

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00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: end of his first marriage, and it was also responsible

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Speaker 1: for the beginning of his second. A tavia, beautiful, strong, smart,

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00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 1: take no shit, Italian, wholesome from a big, loving family

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Speaker 1: on the other side of the world, the type of

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Speaker 1: woman that a guy like Tony Bourdain looks at and goes, oh, yeah,

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00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: this is who I've been waiting for. He went all

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00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 1: in and so did she. They shared secrets. Tony's were

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00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: darker than she expected. The Caribbean island of Saint Martin's

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00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: a few years after Tony's success, just after the split

400
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 1: from his first wife, a dark time that no amount

401
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: of accolades or money or opportunity was going to fix.

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00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: This was the type of pain and hurt that was

403
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 1: not going anywhere. You were going to have to go

404
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: through it, yet over it or collapse under it. If

405
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: you're like me and raised on rock and roll and

406
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,719
Speaker 1: have spent the better part of your life socializing with

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00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: degenerate rock and roll animals who view life through a

408
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 1: dusty lens of romance, cynicism and hyperbole. Then you've no

409
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: doubt heard one of your friends along the way say

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00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 1: these words that song saved my life, or that album

411
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: or band saved me. Perhaps you said it yourself. If so, congratulations,

412
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 1: You're as equally full of shit as I am. Music

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00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: cannot literally save any of us. Only we have the

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00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 1: power to save our own lives. Saving your life is

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00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: a dramatic move. It requires action agency music, Specifically, listening

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00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 1: to music is a passive experience, and as such, is

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00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: incapable of saving your life. It might make you feel better,

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00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: it might help shape your identity, but it isn't pulling

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00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: you out of a fiery car wreck before you burn

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00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: up into a crispy black piece of toast. But music

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00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: did save Anthony Bourdain's life, or so the story goes.

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00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,199
Speaker 1: The Island DJ played whatever the hell he wanted in

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00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 1: this suited Anthony Bourdain just fine after stumbling drunken stone

424
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 1: out of the Saint Martin whorehouse and shoving a dirty

425
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 1: schwarma down his throat. House of the Rising Sun by

426
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,160
Speaker 1: the Animals, or Iggy Pops Lust for Life or hell,

427
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: even Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World these songs would

428
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: make the wobbly island you were about to drive blind

429
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: ass drunk across seem a whole lot more tolerable. On

430
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: the other hand, if the DJ was to play say

431
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: Jimmy Buffett or Billy Joel or God Forbid the Grateful Dead,

432
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: then it could spell the end bedtime for Bomzo. Lights

433
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: out at the no reservations hotel, all permanent like that,

434
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: you'd take your final drive, crash into the wall, or

435
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: perhaps you drive off the road over one of those

436
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: big island cliffs. Suicide via fifty thousand watts. That's what

437
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: you told Otavia. Anyway, that's how thin the line had

438
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: gotten for you. It was am radio roulette. You started

439
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: the engine to you rented four by four lit what

440
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: was likely your tenth joint of the day, choked down

441
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: the urge to vomit up the day's countless beers and

442
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: greasy food, gave the accelerator your full foot, and took

443
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: off into the dark night back to your hotel, or

444
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: perhaps I hoo Silver Rodeo to deliver yourself from nowhere.

445
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 1: It depended on the song that DJ played. Life or

446
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: Death in the Hands of an unknown islander with erratic,

447
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 1: sometimes great, and sometimes highly questionable taste in music. The

448
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: island roads were dark, unpaved, poorly grated, and populated with

449
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: drivers who were likely as piss drunk as you were.

450
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: The air whipping pie felt good, and that was about

451
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: all that felt good. The pain was thick, you could

452
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 1: barely think straight, but still you had it all figured out.

453
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: You'd done that four by four as fast as it

454
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: would go. Throw all caution to the wind, and if

455
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: you crashed and burned, so be it. If you made

456
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: it out of town and out onto the remote road

457
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: that brought you up to the cliffs, over the pass

458
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: and down toward your hotel. If you made it up

459
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,719
Speaker 1: onto the cliff road, then you'd kick things up a

460
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: notch and put your fate in the DJ's hands. You

461
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: hit the cliff road and the music blared from the

462
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: truck speakers. The better the song, the more aggressive you'd

463
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: drive until you hit that big bend up high, right

464
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: up high on the cliff. At that point you had

465
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: to slow down and cut the wheel to the left

466
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: to avoid careening off of the road into the air

467
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 1: and soaring down the side of the cliff to a

468
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: certain fiery death. Slowing down and making the turn was

469
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: no problem unless the DJ played a shitty song. If

470
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: the song sucked, then you'd let go of the wheel

471
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: and fly away. But if the song was good, you'd

472
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: slow your role and turn with the road and down

473
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: the hill safely to your hotel. That was the deal

474
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 1: you made with yourself, and you did this every night.

475
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: The music gods were on your side. But tonight felt different.

476
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: The DJ had a heater going MC five, James Gang Stone,

477
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: fucking Roses. It was too good to be true. There

478
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: was a turn of a tune coming sooner or later,

479
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: and at the pace you were driving, it was starting

480
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: to feel like Neil Young was onto something. Tonight was

481
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 1: the night, as the Stone Roses is. I want to

482
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: be a door wound down, You wound your way toward

483
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: the bend up on the cliff road. This was it.

484
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: Put up or shut up. Fucking Dave Matthews or the

485
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: BG's or Loggins and Messina were bound to burst through

486
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 1: those speakers at any moment and you'd get the answer.

487
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: You were looking for a reason to let go, a

488
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: suicide solution. I want to be adored faded to an end.

489
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: Here it was the moment of truth and silence. Wind

490
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: the fucking Chambers brothers. Fuck time has come today. Time

491
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 1: you love this fucking song. He slowed down, turned the wheel,

492
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: made the curve of the road successfully, and rolled down

493
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: to your hotels safely. Eventually you'd make it off the island,

494
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 1: back to Manhattan, into the arms in bed of a Tavia,

495
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: the woman you thought was the love of your life.

496
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: You knew she loved you too when she heard you

497
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: tell this story and didn't run. She made you swear

498
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: off the horrors, but otherwise accepted you as you were.

499
00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: You got back into your work making great television. Your

500
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 1: crew almost ended up casualties of war in Beirut. It

501
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: was the type of experience that alters your point of view,

502
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: that changes you from the inside out, that makes you

503
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 1: focus on what really matters in life, love, family, acceptance.

504
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: Atavia was pregnant, life was short. You two were standing

505
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: inside city Hall saying I do Your child was beautiful.

506
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: Her and Atavia were everything, And for a minute there

507
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 1: you had it all. And then that junkie jones hit again,

508
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: and the road pulled you back into the work, traveling

509
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty days a year and filling the

510
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: days you weren't on the road, capitalizing on endless opportunities

511
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: TV appearances, awards shows, writing more books, starting your own

512
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,959
Speaker 1: publishing company, attempting to launch your own Italy inspired multi

513
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: concept restaurant emporium, and eventually a new TV show. More reach,

514
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: more resources, grander creative aspirations. The big Time CNN, where

515
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: you and your crack production team at zero points zero

516
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 1: Productions pledged to push yourselves to make every episode bigger

517
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 1: and better than the last. Sneaking into Hanoi for dinner

518
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 1: with the sitting President of the United States kind of

519
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:26,800
Speaker 1: bigger and better. That kind of rush is tough to follow.

520
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: You have to chase it constantly. Happiness is no match

521
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: for addiction. Anthony Bourdain's blissful family life was short lived.

522
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: Tony and Aatavia split up in twenty sixteen. Strange things

523
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 1: happen in the desert. It can bring out the outlaw

524
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 1: in you. Having grown up and lived in and around

525
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 1: Palm Desert in California, Josh Hamie from the band Queens

526
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: of the Stone Age understood this better than most, which

527
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 1: is why Josh was playing it cool inside the dusty

528
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: Joshua Tree Saloon and across the table from the drunk

529
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 1: golf bro giving him and his good friend Anthony Bourdain shit.

530
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: At the moment, the fucking guy wouldn't let up. He

531
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 1: came on all starstruck to Tony looking for an autograph,

532
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: but then got ugly with Josh. Josh Hamie isn't a

533
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 1: small man. He stood and carefully grabbed the dude and

534
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: started to escort him to the bar spouncer and the

535
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: dude flipped. Then Josh's loyal friend, Tony flipped, screaming to

536
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: the drunk asshole, that's my friend, that's my friend, referencing Josh,

537
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 1: of course, who the drunk dude was unsuccessfully lashing out at.

538
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 1: Tony was now at Josh's back trying to get the

539
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: drunk dude Josh was trying to subdue. It was one

540
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 1: of those flash in the pan shit shows that are

541
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: there and then gone with an equal amount of quickness

542
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: and drama, the one the dust settled and the drunk

543
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: dude was taken away. Josh Hammie knew one thing for

544
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: certain about Anthony Bourdain when it came to their friendship.

545
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 1: Like most things in Tony's life, Tony was all In

546
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 1: chapter four, the Italian actress. When you go hard and

547
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 1: fast and give yourself fully, when your crew and collaborators

548
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 1: do the same, When every piece of television you make

549
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: has to outdo the last, When the distance between the

550
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 1: destination and the truth gets harder and harder to traverse,

551
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 1: when the shine from the spotlight blinds instead of illuminates, Well,

552
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 1: my friends, it might be time for the band to

553
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: break up. All good bands do, even the great ones.

554
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 1: Ted Nugent, the Motor City mad Man, the seventies rock

555
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: guitarist known for his meat and Potatoes rifts and his

556
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 1: hits like cat Scratch Fever and the most excellent Stranglehold,

557
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: is about as far away politically from Anthony Boardaine as

558
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: Florida is from me. Yet there Anthony Boardaine was on

559
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 1: camera on Ted Nugent's ranch, firing away gleefully with an

560
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 1: assault weapon and enjoying beer and barbecue with Ted and

561
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: his boys like he was among long lost friends. I

562
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: think the Barack Hussein Obama should be put in jail.

563
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 1: It is clear that Barack Hussein Obama is a communist

564
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: Mounts to lives and his name is Barack Hussein Obama.

565
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 1: This country should be ashamed. I want to throw up.

566
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: That's Ted NuGen quote. Fast forward a couple of years

567
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: to Anthony Bourdain interviewing the Leader of the Free World,

568
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 1: Barack Obama, and Hanoi over a cold beer in hot Noodles,

569
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 1: where Bordain asked Obama somewhat playfully if it was okay

570
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: that he got along with Ted NuGen, who had said many,

571
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 1: many deeply offensive and hateful things about him personally. Obama responded,

572
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: of course, and that that was exactly the sort of

573
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 1: person we should be talking to. And Ted NuGen knew

574
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 1: who Anthony Bourdain was and that he was a classic liberal,

575
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: the opposite of Ted, a libertarian bent conservative. Yet Ted

576
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: of course allowed Tony into his home for barbecue. Ted

577
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 1: NuGen said of Tony, He's Machila and grill at blood brother,

578
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 1: and Tony said, I'm proud of the fact that I've

579
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: had as dining companions over the years, every from Hesbala supporters,

580
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:08,800
Speaker 1: communist functionaries, anti Putin activists, cowboys, stoners, Christian militia leaders, feminists, Palestinians,

581
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: and Israeli settlers to Ted NuGen. You like food and

582
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: are reasonably nice at the table. You show me hospitality,

583
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 1: I will sit down with you and break bread. Anthony

584
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: Bourdain or his television show at least was political in

585
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: the best way, which is to say that it was

586
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: subjective first and foremost, and seem to be almost completely

587
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: detached from whatever popular political narrative of the day was

588
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: being algorithmically force fed to both the left and the right.

589
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:43,320
Speaker 1: The show, Like the Man, seemed to project an empathy

590
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 1: that was entirely real and unconcerned with virtue signaling. That is,

591
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 1: until a Ja Argento. There are women men consume themselves with,

592
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 1: and there are women that consume men. By the time

593
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain moved on from his second wife, Atavia and

594
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: became romantically involved with Aja Argento in twenty sixteen, his

595
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: relationship with his work life had run face first into

596
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 1: a wall. The grind of making television had become more

597
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: intense than the grind of running a kitchen. Anthony Bourdain

598
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 1: was burnt out physically and creatively entered the Italian actress.

599
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 1: Like Atavia, Aja was beautiful, strong, smart Italian, But unlike Atavia,

600
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 1: Aja set herself in her own interests ahead of any

601
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,760
Speaker 1: relationship with Tony. The fact that she was less interested

602
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 1: in the famous badass chef and the best selling author

603
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 1: than she was herself, made her unattainable, which made her

604
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 1: more attractive to Tony, which made Tony's old familiar junkie

605
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 1: instinct kick in, and then made Tony pour all of

606
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: himself into his relationship with her. He put her above family,

607
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 1: he put her above work, and he put her above friends,

608
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: which without context doesn't sound that bad, but when you

609
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: get down to the details and the end result, it was,

610
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 1: of course disastrous. There are many juicy, bullshit, gossipy personal

611
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: anecdotes about Tony and Ash's relationship that we could go

612
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 1: into to give you this context, but it feels icky

613
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: and frankly, you can get that stuff with three clicks

614
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: in a search bar. Nonetheless, if we're going to continue

615
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: this story, we need to mention to fully understand how

616
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain was changed by his relationship with Ajia Argento.

617
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: I'll do my best to list them as quickly as possible.

618
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: Fact number one. Despite a split from Atavia, the pair

619
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: remained close as friends and co parents of their daughter.

620
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 1: By all accounts, Tony remained, if sometimes absent, an attentive

621
00:41:56,600 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 1: and proud dad. Ajia Argento could not accept this. It

622
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 1: was threatened by Tony's relationship not only with a Tavia,

623
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: but with his daughter, going as far as demanding that

624
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 1: Tony not share photos of his family on Instagram. Fact

625
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:15,720
Speaker 1: number two Tony Bourdain was keen on helping Azia's career

626
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: as a director by involving her in the production of

627
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 1: his CNN show Parts Unknown. Now you have to understand

628
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 1: that by the time Tony and his production team were

629
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:29,800
Speaker 1: making Parts Unknown, they were running a finely tuned production machine.

630
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: You've seen these episodes. They're expertly made. They didn't happen

631
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 1: by accident. Again, enter the Italian actress, but this time

632
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 1: behind the camera, directing Tony in his seasoned crew. She

633
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 1: was woefully incapable a disaster, and she relied on a

634
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: relationship with Tony to win pissy little creative battles on set.

635
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 1: It got so bad that she insisted Tony fire his

636
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:58,760
Speaker 1: longtime award winning cinematographer Zax Samboni, whom Tony had worked

637
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 1: with and had a friendship with for a decade, and

638
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: Tony fired him on the spot. Fact number three human

639
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: growth hormones. I'm not even going to get into this

640
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 1: because it's gross. You can look it up yourself fact

641
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: number four hashtag me too. This was the big one.

642
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: Lenagi Argento found herself at the center of the me

643
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,720
Speaker 1: too storm. She pulled Anthony Bourdain in Fast and Without

644
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:30,320
Speaker 1: an Umbrella and Toni, who up to this point seemed

645
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 1: to tow the old Grauto Marx line when it came

646
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 1: to causes, the one that said quote, I refused to

647
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 1: join any club that would have me as a member, unquote,

648
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 1: and had lived his life as someone who proudly was

649
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 1: not a joiner, but instead an independent minded liberal with

650
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: a unique superpower that allowed him to both view and

651
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: articulate this messy world with deaf nuance. Suddenly that dude

652
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: was at the vanguard of a political movement, on the

653
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,439
Speaker 1: front lines with his girlfriend who had gone public about

654
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 1: her rape at the pudgy hands of Harvey Weinstein. I

655
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: get it, I do. Who's to say how any of

656
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 1: us would act if we were in the same situation,

657
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: But again, context, supporting your girlfriend and subverting your character

658
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 1: to support your girlfriend are two different things. Suddenly Anthony

659
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: Boordain was in Twitter beast with Matt Damon and turning

660
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: his back on friends. At the end of twenty seventeen,

661
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain's good friend Josh Hamie of Queens of the

662
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: Stone Age, the same friend Anthony had been quick to

663
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 1: defend a few years back in a potential barfight, was

664
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: on stage when overcome with the energy and emotion of

665
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: a rock and roll performance, he inexcusably kicked a female

666
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 1: pool photographer's camera as she held it up in front

667
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 1: of her face, injuring the photographer, who then posted her

668
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: injuries online with the hashtag me too. Given the moment,

669
00:44:55,520 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: America was in controversy, ensued Josh Hami, it was quick

670
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: to unequivocally apologize for his actions. In later statements, Josh

671
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: provided context referencing the violent inadvertent stage actions of Johnny

672
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: Cash and Iggy Pop, but at the moment, none of

673
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 1: that was relevant. All that mattered was that a man

674
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 1: kicked a woman. The pitchforks were out, and Josh's friend,

675
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain grabbed one and headed to Twitter, saying, waking

676
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,760
Speaker 1: up in Bhutan to the Josh Hamie shit and still

677
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 1: in the WTF phase, senseless and a weak ass apology.

678
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 1: Say what you will about Tony's comment and or Josh's

679
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 1: actions or apology, but if a good friend of mine

680
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 1: finds himself in an international media firestorm, I'm calling him

681
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 1: first to get his side of the story before publicly

682
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 1: piling on. That's who I am, and I'm sure that's

683
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: who you are, because that's how most people are. Most

684
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 1: people are reasonable people. Anthony Bourdain was, up until this

685
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 1: moment in time, an excessive reasonable person. That changed then inevitably,

686
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 1: As is the case with most cause focus Charlatan's the

687
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: rot of hypocrisy cracked through the thin veneer of virtue.

688
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: In twenty eighteen, The New York Times reported it had

689
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:23,959
Speaker 1: obtained evidence supporting the claim that in twenty thirteen, while

690
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 1: she was thirty seven years old, Agire Argento sexually assaulted

691
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: a fellow actor, a boy two days passed his seventeenth birthday,

692
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 1: plying him with alcohol. Agia Argento denied the incident, but

693
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: I encourage you to search online for photos of the

694
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 1: two as well as text messages between them, and come

695
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: to your own conclusion. In any event, Anthony Bourdain swooped

696
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 1: into defense mode. The mob mentality might have been good

697
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 1: for Josh Hami, but now the shoe was on the

698
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 1: other foot, and it just wouldn't do for his Italian

699
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 1: actress girlfriend, to whom he had given nearly every ounce

700
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: of his energy over the last few months. She was

701
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: at the vanguard of the me too movement, and Tony

702
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 1: wasn't going to let the movement eat its own. Aji's

703
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 1: alleged victim was threatening a three point five million dollar

704
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 1: lawsuit rather than let the courts adjudicate the matter. Tony,

705
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 1: as Charles Leerson in his book Down and Out in

706
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: Paradise reported, Tony reportedly hired a private investigator to dig

707
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 1: up dirt on the kid, dirt that could be used

708
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: to blackmail. In the end, Tony just paid the kid

709
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 1: off three hundred and eighty grand to shut up and

710
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 1: not pursue further legal action. The move was like something

711
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: a character from one of Tony's unsuccessful novels would have done.

712
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 1: A junkie move, an all in move, absolute without nuance.

713
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: That's what Tony was all in on. Hagi Argento, come

714
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: hell or high water, the feeling. Despite all that he

715
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: did for her, despite the financial help, rear help, the

716
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: public support, despite putting her above his family, his colleagues,

717
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:11,240
Speaker 1: his friends, his career. Despite all of this, aggi Argento

718
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: was not all in on Anthony boardin agi Argento had

719
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 1: it bad for someone else, and that, as they say,

720
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:30,280
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, ain't good. June twenty eighteen, Anthony Bourdain

721
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 1: and his zero point zero crew, along with Tony's friend,

722
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: chef Eric Repair, were in France filming an episode of

723
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:40,240
Speaker 1: Parts Unknown. Agi Argento was in Italy with a handsome

724
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,839
Speaker 1: journalist and the tabloids in the internet let Tony know

725
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 1: all about it, and it broke him. What happens to

726
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: you when you give every bit of yourself to something

727
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 1: and get nothing back. Thankfully, I've never experienced this specific

728
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: type of heartbreak like all of you. I've loved and lost,

729
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: but I've never lost like this. I've never bet the farm,

730
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 1: the dog, my first born, and the horse and buggy.

731
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 1: I rode in on and lost it all. That kind

732
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 1: of pain is unimaginable. Add worldwide humiliation to that reality,

733
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 1: and suicide a romantic concept Anthony Bourdain had entertained in

734
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 1: both a literal and literary sense, going as far back

735
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 1: as his first published works. That type of big ending,

736
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: given the context, anyway, starts to become objectively understandable. I

737
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,800
Speaker 1: say this as someone who has lost many close relatives

738
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 1: and friends to suicide. But the truth is that no

739
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: one understands why someone else kills himself, no one. It

740
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 1: is the most personal action an individual can make. I believe, though,

741
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 1: that Anthony Bourdain died long before that night. He hanged

742
00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 1: himself in a luxury hotel in France, broken stewing over

743
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 1: being betrayed and publicly humiliated by the one person in

744
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: the world had given himself over to entirely. Somewhere down

745
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: the line, he stopped being Anthony Bourdain. Let me say

746
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 1: that again. He stopped being Anthony Bourdain, which is shocking

747
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:24,800
Speaker 1: because Anthony Bourdain seemed to continuously feed the character of

748
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdain, and we loved him for it. We found

749
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: him endlessly entertaining, compelling, even lovable. We were more than

750
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: comfortable looking into corners of the world we'd never visit

751
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: with his eyes, tasting things we'd never taste with his

752
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 1: acerbic tongue. I'm not sure when the real Anthony Bourdain died,

753
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 1: but I'm pretty sure the wheels were coming off by

754
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 1: the time he turned up in Miami to film that

755
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: episode of Parts Unknown with his hero Achy pop. Tony

756
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,960
Speaker 1: asked his rock star hero given that he'd been the

757
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,719
Speaker 1: template for nearly every rock and roll front man that

758
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 1: came after him, from David Johansson to Julian Casablancis, and

759
00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:07,240
Speaker 1: that Iggy had experienced millions of adventures. At this point

760
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 1: late in life. What now thrilled him? Iggy answers from

761
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 1: the heart with being loved and appreciating the people that

762
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 1: are giving that to me. Tony looks like a deer

763
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: in headlights when Iggy says this, because, like Iggy Pop

764
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 1: Anthony Bourdin was a romantic, but I believe by this

765
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:34,800
Speaker 1: point love for him was a fleeting proposition. Anthony Bourdain's friend,

766
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 1: the filmmaker Amos Poe, said, it's great to be romantic,

767
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 1: but never be romantic about romance, because it'll take you

768
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 1: down like a junkie. A romantic goes all in, all

769
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: in on love, all in on indulgence, all in on

770
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 1: traveling to the end of the fucking world and back,

771
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 1: and most admirably, all in on empathy. When Anthony Bourdin

772
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 1: went all in, his lust for life rewarded him with

773
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 1: a career, a family, fame. But when he went all

774
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 1: in on the wrong romance, he got nothing back, and

775
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:22,840
Speaker 1: it killed him. That is a disgrace. I'm Jake Brennan

776
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:46,800
Speaker 1: and this is Disgraceland. Disgraceland was created by Yours Truly

777
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 1: and is produced in partnership with Double Elvis. Credits for

778
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: this episode can be found on the show notes page

779
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 1: at disgracelamdpod dot com. If you're listening as a Disgraceland

780
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 1: All Access member, thank you for supporting the show. We

781
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. And if not, you can become a

782
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 1: member right now by going to disgraceslampod dot com slash Membership.

783
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 1: Members can listen to every episode of disgracelam AD free,

784
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 1: Plus you'll get one brand new exclusive episode every month,

785
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 1: weekly unscripted bonus episodes, special audio collections, and early access

786
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 1: to merchandise and events. Visit disgraylampod dot com slash membership

787
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 1: for details, rate and review the show, and follow us

788
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:30,359
Speaker 1: on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook at disgracelampod and on

789
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 1: YouTube at YouTube dot com slash at disgracelampod, Rock a Roller,

790
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: he the bedn