Speaker 1: Welcome to Ja dot M, a production of I heart radio.
Speaker 1: What's up everybody, it is always a pleasure to share
Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings with you. You You know, just have conversation
Speaker 1: to spark some conversation. Chow. Welcome to J dot elder podcast.
Speaker 1: This is Jill Scott. Jill Scott, I gotta say it
Speaker 1: right because you know, there is an exclamation point at
Speaker 1: the end of my name all my birth certificate. It's
Speaker 1: Jill Scott. Yeah, I'm here with my sister friends, like
Speaker 1: it's St Claud No, it's no, it's just a period,
Speaker 1: like it's Saint Clair. Sorry, Jill, we're not all that privileges,
Speaker 1: just like Ya, St Clair. And was there a period?
Speaker 1: There actually wasn't, but in my mind it's a period, period, period,
Speaker 1: and the lovely age of great and dance La yes,
Speaker 1: come more high filations like it. You know you're into
Speaker 1: the friends. Listen to me. I'm struggling. I'm struggling with
Speaker 1: trying my best to have some discipline. Okay, just discipline.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm I'm supposed to be Um doing a
Speaker 1: lot of things on a daily basis and I just
Speaker 1: don't want to me like, I don't know what's happening
Speaker 1: and my because of my age, I'm like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to opt down with these things. You know, like I
Speaker 1: want I want my house a certain way. My House
Speaker 1: is together, but my room, I don't. I don't want. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want to dog like it's terrible. You got
Speaker 1: a messy room, just guys. That what you're saying. I
Speaker 1: am saying it. I'm saying it. Well, my yeah, my
Speaker 1: part of the room is is messy and of the
Speaker 1: bathroom is messy. Like that's not what's up, like what's
Speaker 1: going on? And I live with somebody who's a neat freak. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's cool. See what your finger up there, your agent,
Speaker 1: why are your finger like that? What was that I
Speaker 1: just said? That's that's a toughie. That's a toughie. How
Speaker 1: does one get self discipline? How? There are people, there
Speaker 1: are people out here. I know that they are faithful
Speaker 1: and they go to the gym at least three or
Speaker 1: four times in a week, you know, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's Jim in my basement and I know where it is.
Speaker 1: You might have to change that phrasing from like self discipline,
Speaker 1: like how does one get they ask motivated, because that's
Speaker 1: what it's saying, like it could be motivation, but I
Speaker 1: think I think discipline is is kind of a discipline
Speaker 1: to keeping active. I think they are cousins. I think
Speaker 1: motivation and discipline are definitely cousins. They grew up in
Speaker 1: the same household, because you gotta stay you gotta get
Speaker 1: motivated so you can be disciplined. You gotta get more evaded.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have definitely you have to be
Speaker 1: discipline on top. Yeast. WHO has discipline? Who? I love her?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I love her. beyonce. Oh girl, don't
Speaker 1: do that, don't do that, don't do that, don't even bend.
Speaker 1: You her name. Don't put that kind of pressure on us.
Speaker 1: Don't be that. First of all, that's that's not I
Speaker 1: don't know. It was a lot to live up to.
Speaker 1: It's like saying, Obama, I can't really deal with that,
Speaker 1: that that kind of pressure. Know, I'm sorry, Michelle, Obama,
Speaker 1: waking up before in the morning. Wait, you know, doing
Speaker 1: your workout like every day forward. That's why you look
Speaker 1: so also, you know, I refused to compare myself to
Speaker 1: exceptionalism that is absolutely fueled by wealth and privilege. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I am not comparing myself. I'm just saying there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things. Actually, there's a lot of things that
Speaker 1: led that woman to be that. That's not to take away.
Speaker 1: This is not to take that woman. Okay, first of all,
Speaker 1: you know who named somebody beyonce, somebody who last name
Speaker 1: is beyonce. Yea, that's her last name. Is Actual family names.
Speaker 1: Her maiden name is beyonce, because that's amazing to me.
Speaker 1: I'm here for it, but I get it. But but honestly,
Speaker 1: still like it's very much like giving you're gonna be
Speaker 1: a thing to the discipline started a long time ago, parents,
Speaker 1: you know, and making sure that starts and in high
Speaker 1: heels and dancing and running in hills, you know. Like
Speaker 1: I feel like discipline is something that starts really early
Speaker 1: rather than something that you naturally just pick up. You
Speaker 1: know how people go into the military and get get disciplined.
Speaker 1: I feel like if Mama Joyce was on the line,
Speaker 1: she might be like, but I instilled some discipline in
Speaker 1: you for certain lives flies, but you had at least
Speaker 1: make up your bed before you left that room. You had.
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily know that that was that was disciplined
Speaker 1: in fact, let's to keep it all the way gully.
Speaker 1: The only chores that I really had to do was
Speaker 1: I did I did the base boards, but I love
Speaker 1: doing the base boards. I did the base boards and
Speaker 1: I and I cleaned the porch. Those were two things
Speaker 1: that I love to do. So it wasn't like, it
Speaker 1: wasn't punishment and it wasn't necessarily disciplined. I was like,
Speaker 1: the base sports are dirty and I went to work.
Speaker 1: They didn't have to ask. Asia you hear it? Is
Speaker 1: We get into the root of it? Do you hear this?
Speaker 1: Did You am hearing the roots? Did you have chores?
Speaker 1: A what did your Um? I definitely had chores. However,
Speaker 1: my sister and I are seven years apart, so I
Speaker 1: really kind of had two mothers. So I had a
Speaker 1: lot less to do than my sister did. So I
Speaker 1: came into kind of a certain discipline later. So, in
Speaker 1: comparison to my sister, always was way less discipline than
Speaker 1: she and we still are. We're still the sway. So
Speaker 1: I do think some precedents. So, Oh, I did have
Speaker 1: to make my bed up. Don't get me wrong, my
Speaker 1: mother was that was something that my mom did not tolerate.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing when I got to be a teenager,
Speaker 1: something that I got in trouble for all the time
Speaker 1: was my bedroom, right, we all I mean, that was
Speaker 1: a big deal. My mother. My mother actually came to
Speaker 1: visit me as an adult and was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: are we making up bes daily now? Okay, oh, that's cute,
Speaker 1: that's nice, that's nice. I think. You know what? I think?
Speaker 1: I got disciplined. I got boot camp discipline. It's I
Speaker 1: became a mother and it was like I became a
Speaker 1: mother and then I became a mother again and then again,
Speaker 1: and then it was just like, if you're not disciplined
Speaker 1: under those circumstances, it's gonna be chaos, but they'll be
Speaker 1: K I anyway. But I don't know. This me trying
Speaker 1: to discover discipline and motivation at this moment in my
Speaker 1: life has proven to be quite difficult, specifically if I'm
Speaker 1: having to be disciplined or motivated for myself. Yeah, there
Speaker 1: you go, there you go, because y'are not putting itself.
Speaker 1: If I have to write, if I have to walk,
Speaker 1: if I have to you know, any of that. It's
Speaker 1: gotten progressively more challenging the older I get, because I'm,
Speaker 1: you know, I might at some point. That should be cool.
Speaker 1: I really want to go to the lake. You know,
Speaker 1: let's go to the lake. I don't have a lake.
Speaker 1: You know. People are waiting on me, you know. So
Speaker 1: that's the that's the hard part, and I want to
Speaker 1: give them what they what they need now. I want
Speaker 1: to give them what they need, but I also need stuff,
Speaker 1: you know. I need to take the walk, I need
Speaker 1: a peace of mind, I need to take the nap,
Speaker 1: I need to you know, Um, being around some musicians,
Speaker 1: it kind of just hang out with no particular way
Speaker 1: to go, you know, like my needs. I feel like
Speaker 1: I've gotten stronger and the discipline is kind of running
Speaker 1: away from me and I need I need to to
Speaker 1: after that more real talk after the break. Here's a thought.
Speaker 1: There was a time, and even in some countries outside
Speaker 1: of this particular one, where life itself is a lot
Speaker 1: less centered around like tasks, trying to be successful. There
Speaker 1: was once upon a time, even in this country, where
Speaker 1: to be fifty years old was to be retired, to
Speaker 1: be not working, to not have to to to be
Speaker 1: moving into the leisure season of one's life. I'm living America,
Speaker 1: I'm an American. I feel the same way, anytime you
Speaker 1: sit for a certain amount of time and you get
Speaker 1: that guilty feeling like I could be you know, you
Speaker 1: could be doing something else, like it's an American thing.
Speaker 1: It's American pressures, American pressures. It's like this exceptionalism craziness,
Speaker 1: like we just gotta be jumping out, like I blame
Speaker 1: did it, and Steve Harvey too, because he don't. And
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey and Ryan CCREST. And I don't need all
Speaker 1: the money either. I don't need all of it. I
Speaker 1: need some, I could, I could go with some more,
Speaker 1: but I don't need all of it and I don't
Speaker 1: and I'm not interested in working myself to lunacy. Like
Speaker 1: I don't know what Andre Three stacks is doing today,
Speaker 1: but I don't. Is Free, mazing. He is so free
Speaker 1: off somewhere, girl. He walking around with a flute. He
Speaker 1: don't give a funk. He's wearing overalls. We know he's
Speaker 1: wearing overalls. Girl. He's not dyeing his hair. No, he
Speaker 1: is not cutting this girl, freedom. Something about that thing
Speaker 1: is just it's right and all exciting. So maybe what
Speaker 1: you're doing, so maybe what you're doing is not having
Speaker 1: a lack of discipline. Maybe what you're doing is an
Speaker 1: act of resistance. What's gonna words? That's my friend with
Speaker 1: the words. You know, I love it because, look, just
Speaker 1: trying to find peace with that, like really trying to
Speaker 1: find peace with that. My kid is thirteen. I really
Speaker 1: like being around him, you know, I know, and I
Speaker 1: know the time is short, you know, Um, obviously I
Speaker 1: don't know how long I got, but I like him
Speaker 1: and he likes you, so that's cool. He does like
Speaker 1: it's so fun. But that means, you know, we literally
Speaker 1: have about five years before, you know, he starts making
Speaker 1: major life decisions and they and according to him, he
Speaker 1: wants to go to school. He wants to go to
Speaker 1: school in Paris, and I'm like, Oh, you know, this
Speaker 1: is what happens when you do it. They love it
Speaker 1: because they're supposed to. Yeah, yeah, global citizens. Yeah, I mean. Now,
Speaker 1: don't get it twisted, Jill as, you're happiness revelation for
Speaker 1: everybody else that's under fifty. Now you're airing this ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just joking. I'm not mad at that, because I
Speaker 1: would have said that to me at thirty five. And
Speaker 1: hold up, we gotta do the Asia. Two Lens. Who
Speaker 1: is to tell one where, how they have worked hard,
Speaker 1: how hard they have worked and when they should stop.
Speaker 1: If they have worked and when, and why should one
Speaker 1: work that's so hard in life? Should you not enjoy it?
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do with all the lenses. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just look at like this, right, even though I
Speaker 1: when I said consider that I would saying consider that
Speaker 1: at one point fifty was an Asian in which people
Speaker 1: quote time. Now I want to circle back. Now we
Speaker 1: all know the act of retirement and the idea of
Speaker 1: the workforce and how long you work and when you
Speaker 1: get to relax is, you know, basically for the white
Speaker 1: this is not some black people have always worked. They
Speaker 1: worked until they were older. They worked, you know, and
Speaker 1: then we have some black folks that definitely fit into
Speaker 1: the kind of middle class framework and yes, they dive retired.
Speaker 1: We know some of them were related to some of
Speaker 1: but for the most part, as a group of people
Speaker 1: in this country, we've always worked through every generation, all
Speaker 1: our lives. We've always technically Asian that we deserve to
Speaker 1: rest more than anybody based is. This is why you see, oh,
Speaker 1: that's it. Did I really did say that? That That that's
Speaker 1: what was gonna you did? You said what I was
Speaker 1: from the say. HMM, so, yeah, this vacation is on
Speaker 1: the back of our ancestors. They paid for this, they
Speaker 1: paid blood sweat. I don't think. I don't think she'll
Speaker 1: mind me sing is um at all. I have a girlfriend, Um,
Speaker 1: that I love so much and she's really successful now.
Speaker 1: A couple of years ago she took off, either it
Speaker 1: was a year or two years, just to do yoga. Oh,
Speaker 1: in one place, or did she move around? I'm not
Speaker 1: really sure how the how it went down, but she
Speaker 1: saved enough money so that she could do what she
Speaker 1: wanted to do, eat how she wanted to eat and,
Speaker 1: you know, travel if she needed to. Not so much
Speaker 1: wanted to, but needed to. and Um and you just
Speaker 1: did yoga. I wonder, how connected to mind, body and spirit.
Speaker 1: And then she came back swaring and swinging and I'm
Speaker 1: like that's that sounds so lovely. I think that goes
Speaker 1: into the thought of how does one become motivated and
Speaker 1: disciplined about the right things? Is it? Are you motivating
Speaker 1: disciplined about your own self, love, care, existence, evolution? What
Speaker 1: are you dedicating this discipline too? You just poured warm
Speaker 1: but on all my soul. You really you just you
Speaker 1: just massided it in. I feel so much better, like,
Speaker 1: Oh my God, I love Y'All. Welcome to the PODCAST. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as I as I recorded from the corner of my
Speaker 1: messy bedroom, out the right things for you, individual league,
Speaker 1: as an individual. Huh, because ain't nobody I wanted you
Speaker 1: anybody complaining about your your messy area of the bedroom.
Speaker 1: It's just it's you right, no, nobody in mind. And
Speaker 1: I feel like, as long as I keep the rest
Speaker 1: of the house as it should be, quote unquote, you know,
Speaker 1: where it's not a bunch of stuff laying around and
Speaker 1: things are clean, you know what I mean? Like nobody's embarrassed,
Speaker 1: you know, they walk into the house, they're like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it smells so nice, like I like that. I like
Speaker 1: smelly good, you know. But my side of the room
Speaker 1: is kind of like, you know, it's half written, half
Speaker 1: half song. have read. I went and searching. I checked
Speaker 1: out Forbes, for this is nine powerful ways to cultivate
Speaker 1: extreme self discipline, because, you know, beyonce is real, she's
Speaker 1: actually exists. Like, what the Hell, how do I? How
Speaker 1: do I change myself for the best? Now, if we're
Speaker 1: talking about what's best for me personally, right, what you
Speaker 1: need to do first, and then you could take you know,
Speaker 1: put your seatbelt on first. Go ahead, yes and no.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that now that I realized what this,
Speaker 1: this this self discipline and motivation, is really about. Like,
Speaker 1: the goal is joy, Goddamnit, the goal is joy. Right. So,
Speaker 1: and I would say this is not motivated, quote unquote,
Speaker 1: or discipline, because those things are part of of of
Speaker 1: a society or or part of a community. That's really
Speaker 1: it's not really for you. It's joy looking forward to
Speaker 1: those things. I love this ship right here. Um, here's
Speaker 1: a step one. Know your strengths and weaknesses. We all
Speaker 1: have weaknesses, whether they're the desire for alcohol, tobacco, unhealthy food,
Speaker 1: obsession over social media, video games, blah, blah, blah, um,
Speaker 1: they all have a similar effect on us. Weaknesses don't
Speaker 1: just come in the form of areas where we lack
Speaker 1: self control either. We all have our strong suits and
Speaker 1: the stuff we kind of stick at, stink at. For example,
Speaker 1: don't care for having difficult conversations, lengthy paperwork that involves
Speaker 1: digging up old documents. Um, I don't like that. Um. So,
Speaker 1: you know, I have somebody that helps me out with
Speaker 1: those things because I don't want to do that, okay,
Speaker 1: and I avoid those activities because I don't want to
Speaker 1: do them. So that means I have to have a
Speaker 1: lifestyle where I can pay somebody to do those particular activities,
Speaker 1: and then what I do have to do is look
Speaker 1: over it and make sure that I'm comfortable with the
Speaker 1: decisions that have been made on my behalf. Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: so that was no, your strengths and your weaknesses. So
Speaker 1: I know that I don't really like to work out,
Speaker 1: but I do like to play a silly game of
Speaker 1: a tag, you know, playing football, catching the ball, running
Speaker 1: around with it, like riding a bike, especially at night,
Speaker 1: because I like to look in people's houses. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying my own personal strength, because you live around the folks. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to see what they do. In love. I
Speaker 1: just want to say what y'all doing, and I love that.
Speaker 1: You said you don't like to work out, but you
Speaker 1: just named all the all of the workout things, like
Speaker 1: running with the ball and riding a bike, and it's
Speaker 1: the word. What she's saying is that, you know, the tradition,
Speaker 1: not traditional. Some people have a vision in their mind
Speaker 1: of what working out is. Yeah, and she's not into that.
Speaker 1: I feel you. That's not my scrump being in the
Speaker 1: gym like that. That's not that's not a love for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, but I do like riding a bike and
Speaker 1: I do like riding a stationary bike, but I also
Speaker 1: have to be my check a movie. Damn that. You
Speaker 1: get your workout in if you're watching a movie by
Speaker 1: riding a stationary bike. Ship talks. That's like my point. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's actually pretty cool. That is actually pretty cool. That's
Speaker 1: a good idea. Wait A, Dude. I have discipline, though,
Speaker 1: but I'm at least I I you know, going through
Speaker 1: this one point at a time, knowing your strength and
Speaker 1: weight and weaknesses. Okay, step two, remove temptation. MM HMM. Okay,
Speaker 1: like the saying, goes out of sight, out of mind.
Speaker 1: I have to move the weed. I have to move
Speaker 1: the weed from out of my sightline. Oh, so here's
Speaker 1: a little discipline, and I teach my my young, my
Speaker 1: young smokers and stoner's out there who you know, you know,
Speaker 1: because sometimes you've got to be self disciplined. So my
Speaker 1: thing is, at the very least, wait until after five
Speaker 1: to smoke, right, and so when all your business is done,
Speaker 1: but also don't have that ship like in your visual site,
Speaker 1: because at any given time, on a stressful phone call
Speaker 1: or something, you're gonna get triggered and you're gonna want
Speaker 1: to hit that ship. So make sure that you keep
Speaker 1: your marijuana stored in the place out of your eyeline eyesight.
Speaker 1: That will help you with that discipline. Sorry. No, I
Speaker 1: appreciate that. We'll be back after the break. Whether I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. This is discipline and that's you know, let's
Speaker 1: start there. I just know that this is kind of
Speaker 1: how I try to move through my life. Is, Um,
Speaker 1: I try to incorporate a little bit of work and
Speaker 1: a little bit of leisure in every single day so
Speaker 1: that I'm kind of start a lifestyle change to where,
Speaker 1: like I'm it's a rhythm that I get into where
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I know that each part of my
Speaker 1: day is going to involve accomplishing something towards the goal,
Speaker 1: but also taking care of myself, because I feel like
Speaker 1: the start stop never really works for me. If I
Speaker 1: just say, Oh, today I'm taking care of myself, the
Speaker 1: next day I'm feeling drained again and then it's like
Speaker 1: it's not like I'm I feel like I'm not filling
Speaker 1: up this reserve bucket of care like that I could
Speaker 1: just pull from that bucket because I filled it up,
Speaker 1: you know, yesterday or the day before. I feel like
Speaker 1: I have to be in this kind of constant rhythm
Speaker 1: with it, and I'm like that with work too. I'm
Speaker 1: that way with goals also. I have to consistently be
Speaker 1: doing something towards that goal on a daily basis or
Speaker 1: I will walk away from it, I will get distracted
Speaker 1: by just the sheer volume of responsibilities that I have
Speaker 1: and it's just nothing I can do about that. They're
Speaker 1: not gonna go anywhere, they're just going to evolve. At
Speaker 1: one point I thought, oh well, when my kids get
Speaker 1: this age, Oh, then they got that age and then
Speaker 1: they had different needs. Oh well, when I go this
Speaker 1: or when I'm off, when it's the summer. Oh, but
Speaker 1: then the summer brings a whole another kind of you know,
Speaker 1: Um Business and whatever it brings. So I just realized
Speaker 1: I'm never going to get to you know, that moment
Speaker 1: that's perfect for anything, whether it's a task that's about
Speaker 1: work or one that's about my own self preservation. I
Speaker 1: just kind of have to be consistently engaged. I don't
Speaker 1: know how smart that is, because sometimes you don't need
Speaker 1: to be engaged in anything. See that. Then number two
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily work for everybody, because when it says remove temptations,
Speaker 1: your temptations are seven people. I cannot remove them. That
Speaker 1: needs stuff and and want your eyes on them. You
Speaker 1: can't remove your temptations in that way, except if you
Speaker 1: were to take a particular day and disappear for the
Speaker 1: day or a particular time of day, though, Jill, because
Speaker 1: that's what age is saying. Like well, I will say this.
Speaker 1: It's a particular time of the day. If I say
Speaker 1: to the children, I've taken to saying this to them
Speaker 1: quite a bit, I'll say, Hey, the office is closed,
Speaker 1: the office closes at certain times. I deal with office
Speaker 1: hours with the kids, because I realized, like, if I'm
Speaker 1: not if I'm not being whoa disciplined about how I
Speaker 1: allowed them to engage with me, then nobody's gonna no
Speaker 1: one's gonna respect the boundary. I'M gonna be on, the
Speaker 1: green light is gonna be on. Come on in. From
Speaker 1: the moment I opened my eyes to the moment that
Speaker 1: I closed them. I'm available. So I have to say, yeah,
Speaker 1: at this time, we're done, man, you know, and I
Speaker 1: just started doing that, and that's because the change in
Speaker 1: the kids needs. Now it's not about changing diapers or
Speaker 1: making sure they have a lunch box. Now it's like
Speaker 1: I have a serious, like emotional issue that I'm dealing with.
Speaker 1: I have a serious life decision to make. I am
Speaker 1: you know, all of these things are starting to get
Speaker 1: more complicated and you don't have to have kids feel
Speaker 1: that too, and removing those things. I was just thinking.
Speaker 1: I was like, first, some of the multi hyphen it's
Speaker 1: out there to people who got multiple gigs and they
Speaker 1: devote some of their so much of their time the
Speaker 1: other things. That's why I say it's a time of day.
Speaker 1: It's like a couple. I was talking to some some
Speaker 1: folks the other day and we were like, we need
Speaker 1: to take two hours a day, whether it be early
Speaker 1: in the morning, but this is your time now, nobody
Speaker 1: else's time, and that's whether you've got kids, jobs or
Speaker 1: parents that are older that's gonna be calling and breaking
Speaker 1: you up the first thing in the morning. You got
Speaker 1: to let them know. Sometimes you gotta just let folks
Speaker 1: know these are my hours, or just put your phone on,
Speaker 1: do not disturb if you don't want to, think nobody.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that. Oh I love that. Everybody. Please
Speaker 1: hold onto that one that do not disturb on that phone,
Speaker 1: hm to, just to give yourself some time and a break.
Speaker 1: And if you do it every day, you know that
Speaker 1: is what that's discipline. M Hm Yo. Can I tell Y'all,
Speaker 1: speaking of discipline, a girlfriend I went to an industry event.
Speaker 1: She's in the TV industry, and she was talking to
Speaker 1: a dude she had just Matt and think about this
Speaker 1: for discipline. They're talking and and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: his phone goes off and he says, Oh, my timer
Speaker 1: just went off. I think I told you all this.
Speaker 1: My timer just went off. This is usually when I
Speaker 1: cut conversation short because I have a timer so I
Speaker 1: don't be talking for too much to one person. Um,
Speaker 1: but I'm enjoying this conversation, so I'm going to let
Speaker 1: the timer go. I'm partially scared, like I'm I'm, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm an intrigue, but I'm also like, who, what's that?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's a boundary. It's that's a boundary.
Speaker 1: I gotta respect that. Who knows why he implemented it. Also,
Speaker 1: I think he was managing his time. He was managing
Speaker 1: his time and being productive with his time in his mind, like. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: so I don't know, that doesn't work for me because
Speaker 1: I would feel that that was slightly rigid. But look,
Speaker 1: I just started an interesting way to keep your discipline
Speaker 1: and to keep your life regimented, and not energies as well,
Speaker 1: and manage energies outside energies, because that's a big thing too.
Speaker 1: Write like I mean to be honest. We do live
Speaker 1: in a time period where we are interacting with a
Speaker 1: lot of people, you know, and maybe generations before us
Speaker 1: just didn't have to interact so much, and we do,
Speaker 1: whether it's digitally or whether it's in person. We're interacting
Speaker 1: with hell of people. So I can understand that maybe
Speaker 1: maybe in this time period, this day and age, that
Speaker 1: that's a necessary boundary, right, even a phone call, even
Speaker 1: if you do that, you know, in your day, and
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I'm not suggesting this to people, but
Speaker 1: I'm just giving examples of how people have their own
Speaker 1: ways of control and discipline and control in their life
Speaker 1: so that it doesn't, you know, overwhelm them. Like even
Speaker 1: phone calls I'm sorry, Jill, back to your list. Fair enough, yeah, fair,
Speaker 1: fair enough. Step step three here, according to Forbes, is
Speaker 1: to set clear goals and have an execution plan. If
Speaker 1: you hope to achieve greater degrees of self discipline, you
Speaker 1: must have a clear vision of what you hope to accomplish.
Speaker 1: Just like any goal, you must also have an understanding
Speaker 1: of what success means to you. Remember that, organize. That's
Speaker 1: that's important. Yes, it's like I feel like we talked
Speaker 1: about in the show, like what success means to you.
Speaker 1: When I when I talked about my rhythm, when I
Speaker 1: get up in the morning, I decide what are you
Speaker 1: going to accomplish today, and I kind of try to
Speaker 1: stick to that rather than what I would typically do
Speaker 1: is let the day dictate and then I would add
Speaker 1: things on and add things on and then, before you
Speaker 1: know what, I didn't accomplish any of the things because
Speaker 1: I have too many things going on. One I'm feeling frustrated, blah, blah,
Speaker 1: Blah Blah. Now I'm like, yeah, I'm doing this today,
Speaker 1: like nothing else is getting done. This is getting done
Speaker 1: today because I feel like at least I can go
Speaker 1: to bed that night and say I said what I
Speaker 1: was gonna do. I made a goal. I've reached that
Speaker 1: particular goal and for me it's micro goals because my
Speaker 1: personality functions better with that. I get overwhelmed if I'm
Speaker 1: thinking too far in the future, and I think also
Speaker 1: that has to do with with I think that has
Speaker 1: to do also do with having children, because kids are
Speaker 1: so unpredictable. You'll have a plan or something you're trying
Speaker 1: to do and they will come and throw a monkey
Speaker 1: mentioned that beach. So fast, so fast, so fast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was out the other day taking care of something
Speaker 1: that I had to take care of. I said this
Speaker 1: was on my list for the day. I got a
Speaker 1: phone call from the school and it was like Lana's
Speaker 1: eyes swollen and she needs you to pick up and
Speaker 1: the nurse Ain't there, and I'm like what the what?
Speaker 1: And I had to stop. You know, it's that kind
Speaker 1: of you know, monkey wrench. Yep, easy to do. But
Speaker 1: what I did do in that situation was called my
Speaker 1: child and say, is this an emergency? It wasn't. I
Speaker 1: said I have to finish what I'm doing right now.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna Finish that and as soon as I'm done
Speaker 1: with that, I will come directly to pick you up.
Speaker 1: DISC so discipline. I was proud of my my myself too.
Speaker 1: I said I was going to clean my kitchen yesterday.
Speaker 1: I meant not just clean the kitchen, I meant go
Speaker 1: through the cabinets, clean out whatever clutter and dust is there,
Speaker 1: go through and and organized my glasses and you know, Um,
Speaker 1: I put the little fuzzy stuff at the bottom of
Speaker 1: the things so my pants don't get all scratched up.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. I organized more so than
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I know what I said. I said clean,
Speaker 1: but it was really organizing my kitchen. And when I
Speaker 1: was done and it, and it took me about a
Speaker 1: good three hours, I listened to some good music and
Speaker 1: even though the man and the boy wanted to continuously
Speaker 1: pull me away from what I was doing, I didn't
Speaker 1: allow it, even though I was interested in what they
Speaker 1: were talking about and interested in what they wanted to
Speaker 1: share and show, I just didn't do it. And then
Speaker 1: there was a little moment of tense because I'm like,
Speaker 1: all I said was and almost like yeah, I got
Speaker 1: that part, but I'm I can't do this. I have
Speaker 1: to do this thing right now. And I felt really
Speaker 1: great about it. And when I came downstairs this morning,
Speaker 1: I looked in in the kitchen, I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: I opened the drawers and I was like yeah, that
Speaker 1: like yeah, and so I get what you're saying, like
Speaker 1: micro dosing when it comes to Um Your Chore, you know,
Speaker 1: or with the thing that you're trying to get accomplished.
Speaker 1: I get that. Okay, okay, closer. Yeah, I feel better
Speaker 1: about myself than when I'm like I gotta do this, this, this, this,
Speaker 1: this into for me. Sometimes you gotta write that ship down. So, y'all,
Speaker 1: I had to go get me a white board. Got
Speaker 1: Me a white on that white board fold categories on it.
Speaker 1: It's a J I L Q l as loving grit
Speaker 1: and LAIA's world. Yes, and once in that feeling of
Speaker 1: actually taking your marker and scratching through something that feels
Speaker 1: so good. At least if you could scratch through, you
Speaker 1: a good three things on that white board. Just erase it. Yeah, winning, progress, winning.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh, I got one, y'all, I got one.
Speaker 1: I got one. I got one. I'm delegating responsibility learning.
Speaker 1: That's that's about forty year old ship right there. Now,
Speaker 1: now you're talking about some delegation that's on the list.
Speaker 1: That's on the list, that's on the list. Oh Nice,
Speaker 1: oh good. Okay. Well, I know that we we talked
Speaker 1: about you know, there's certain things that I don't really
Speaker 1: like to do and you're saying your list like there's
Speaker 1: certain things I just don't I don't want to be
Speaker 1: I don't want to know your strength and your weaknesses.
Speaker 1: What are my strengths and weaknesses? What I'm saying is
Speaker 1: that not necessarily based on your strengths and weaknesses. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about sometimes time opportunity, sometimes also to benefiting from
Speaker 1: things that other people can do that, whether it's your
Speaker 1: strength or not, maybe it's they need to do it
Speaker 1: so you can do something else right, and not trying
Speaker 1: to be every woman. Not trying to be every woman,
Speaker 1: because the thing is like, yes, I am by far
Speaker 1: the best organizer and cleaner rupper in this house. The
Speaker 1: thing is that I'm not gonna always be the person
Speaker 1: to take on that. This happened today. I had a
Speaker 1: GIG yesterday. I came home from my Gig this Um
Speaker 1: with about an hour and a half to prepare for this.
Speaker 1: When I came in the house, my house was not acceptable. Now,
Speaker 1: typically what I would do is. Okay, let me just
Speaker 1: get this together, because I know I can do it
Speaker 1: quickly and it's gonna look the way I wanted to
Speaker 1: look when I'm done. I know I can get this
Speaker 1: done in the in the a lot of time. And
Speaker 1: I stopped myself and I said no, no, no, no, no, everybody,
Speaker 1: come downstairs. You're gonna do this. You do this, you
Speaker 1: do this, this is how this is done. I want
Speaker 1: you to do this. This includes this, this and this.
Speaker 1: When I tell you to clean this kitchen, that means
Speaker 1: also mop the floor, that means also wipe down the
Speaker 1: cabinet doors. That also means clean out the bottom of
Speaker 1: the container day that you put the dishes in. This
Speaker 1: is all of this means those things. So one of
Speaker 1: the things that, even though I've taught my children to
Speaker 1: clean up, I have teenagers. I'm sorry, I don't know
Speaker 1: how that brain function works, but apparently you gotta tell
Speaker 1: them fifteen thousand times to do the same thing. But
Speaker 1: one of the things I realized too, is that, once again,
Speaker 1: that by the time I sat down to do this,
Speaker 1: all of that was accomplished and I didn't have to
Speaker 1: run myself ragged to do that. And your mind could
Speaker 1: be on reset for your what you got to do
Speaker 1: and focus on this, that was self discipline and self
Speaker 1: care in that moment to ages, because that's what you
Speaker 1: needed to be prepared, because we have conversations here. We
Speaker 1: got to you got to have your mind right settled.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it's better to delegate those things that
Speaker 1: you could be absolutely and this is that. This is
Speaker 1: all the time, though. This is so many times that
Speaker 1: I would have taken on a responsibility in this house
Speaker 1: because I'm used to it, because I like the way
Speaker 1: I do it, because I do it well, when I
Speaker 1: could have not allowed my day to be so packed
Speaker 1: full by simply saying someone else do this, come do
Speaker 1: this or x, Y Z. and if I didn't have children,
Speaker 1: then I would have had to discipline myself, to hire somebody,
Speaker 1: which to bring somebody in. These are all things that
Speaker 1: that that are not necessarily the children involved themselves, not
Speaker 1: because I think that my kids are laborers, but because
Speaker 1: my children are part of a community which is my household,
Speaker 1: and every person who is a part of the community
Speaker 1: must contribute to the community. So I want to be
Speaker 1: clear on that. There's an old school black parent way
Speaker 1: of doing things that make kids labor. That's not what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Come from downstairs in the basement to
Speaker 1: hand me to promote. I hated that. I thought that
Speaker 1: was so whack. Why you want me to open the
Speaker 1: window you're sitting next to. Stop playing with my life.
Speaker 1: I've only seen, I only telling at my at my
Speaker 1: cousin's house, and I thought that I was like y'all
Speaker 1: slaves anyway. So, but can I just say real quick
Speaker 1: on that cleaning the house thing. On a I think
Speaker 1: this is such an interesting time to where, like more
Speaker 1: people are seeing that if they can afford to have
Speaker 1: somebody come clean their spot, like this wasn't commonplace fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago. But I just and I'm envious because I
Speaker 1: still have not had the discipline enough to think that
Speaker 1: my house is clean enough to have somebody come clean it,
Speaker 1: because that's a whole another mind fuckery thing of like
Speaker 1: I just I'm not righting to me just clean a
Speaker 1: little bit. I'm thinking, like my house got to be
Speaker 1: organized for somebody to clean it. That's my thing, is
Speaker 1: like sometimes I don't feel like I'm organized enough for
Speaker 1: somebody else to come clean it, because they're gonna be
Speaker 1: like where does go. Where does go? They all clean
Speaker 1: around your mess and because it's clean, you'll organize it.
Speaker 1: I know I gotta get so that's what yeah, I'm listen,
Speaker 1: I'm yes, yes, Jill, I know you're right. I know
Speaker 1: what you're saying is right. They're clean around your mess
Speaker 1: and you'll be like wow, this looks really good. Let
Speaker 1: me organize it so the next time that they come.
Speaker 1: You know, it gets better and better as you go along,
Speaker 1: and that's why I wanted to shout out to people
Speaker 1: who actually take do this kind of thing, because that's
Speaker 1: a whole another level to me of self care, because
Speaker 1: you know, it's like why am I doing this if
Speaker 1: I don't have to, if I've worked hard enough that
Speaker 1: I can pay somebody to do this. It's it's beautiful,
Speaker 1: it's it's a beautiful treat yourself. You go treat yourself.
Speaker 1: You're right. I'm just gonna stop playing that and think
Speaker 1: about it. That's creating jobs because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, that's honest and beautiful work to come in
Speaker 1: and make somebody's home clean and and functional. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: and we all know cleaning is not everybody's ministry. Amen.
Speaker 1: Some people are just very talented at that very can
Speaker 1: I just tell you all just now? I hate to
Speaker 1: go down to tangent, but it gets me a little
Speaker 1: emotional when I think about it sometimes, because I think
Speaker 1: about all of the new ethnicities that are now cleaning
Speaker 1: houses for a living and have businesses, and then I think,
Speaker 1: like my grandmama used to do it like white folks
Speaker 1: and it was a totally different thing and like not
Speaker 1: in in these people, not knowing that she didn't get
Speaker 1: paid her worth and how people now have been. It's
Speaker 1: a whole mind, but that's a tangent. We're talking about
Speaker 1: that on that the Wazoo for do not even know,
Speaker 1: and thinking that coming to my house cleaning, thinking that
Speaker 1: I got and may not know that my grandmother used
Speaker 1: to do this ship for damn near free, and then
Speaker 1: the white man didn't give give her the scraps from
Speaker 1: their dinner table to take to her family. Like it's
Speaker 1: a whole history of this, but that was it's interesting
Speaker 1: about that, but shout out to all those who have
Speaker 1: cleaning businesses now. It's word where my grandmother was a
Speaker 1: housekeeper for then she was made right, yeah, for a
Speaker 1: Jewish family, and they taught her. They taught her a lot,
Speaker 1: whether they intended to or not, but she learned about
Speaker 1: she count queen and furniture. She learned that Um quality
Speaker 1: furniture you can't feel the bones in it. She learned
Speaker 1: about towels, like I'm grateful what what good China is,
Speaker 1: whether they intended on it or not, she learned quite
Speaker 1: a bit funny, because I'm like, as we translate the experience,
Speaker 1: and I know she translated it for you in that way,
Speaker 1: I still say that ship wasn't all, like you said,
Speaker 1: ships and Giggles, you know. I just this is the
Speaker 1: first time that we're learning how to FROLIC. We're actually
Speaker 1: having a conversation about self care and about discipline and motivation,
Speaker 1: because most of the time it's been an effort to
Speaker 1: stay to stay alive. Yes, and now we're able to
Speaker 1: have some options and choices and that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Susie, thank you Margaret, thank you blue okay, yes, also,
Speaker 1: now we're able to create a different type of work
Speaker 1: environment for those people, for people who do do that work,
Speaker 1: because we actually don't have to hire those particular new companies.
Speaker 1: We can hire folks that we know need that type
Speaker 1: of work and do that type of work and do
Speaker 1: it well and create a different type of work experience
Speaker 1: for them. For them. I'm so glad you said that.
Speaker 1: Shout outs to my Auntie Michelle, that cleans my Mama House,
Speaker 1: that leaves it smell on like lemon grass and coming
Speaker 1: here with hugs and kids. He said, Oh, it's the
Speaker 1: best feeling. Oh and yes, it's lemon grass. Lemon grass
Speaker 1: is my set. I just need you to know that.
Speaker 1: And Jasmine. I like stuff that smells like Cilantro. Don't
Speaker 1: ask me the questions. Um, shout out to Lance. You know,
Speaker 1: y'all know my my my brother. Um. Shout out to
Speaker 1: Lance's sister, Carol Man. When I when I lived in Philly,
Speaker 1: Carroll would come to my spot and she would clean
Speaker 1: it with so much love. Oh my God, I love
Speaker 1: to overtake Carol. It was just a joy. What else?
Speaker 1: What can I do for Your Carol? What else she was?
Speaker 1: She was wonderful. Definitely love her for that. Here's another one.
Speaker 1: This is this is step forward. This is practice, daily diligence.
Speaker 1: So I you know, I was saying that nobody's really
Speaker 1: born with discipline. You you, you pick it up. Um,
Speaker 1: somebody's gotta teach you how to do these things. But
Speaker 1: they're saying that we aren't. We aren't born with self discipline.
Speaker 1: It is a learned behavior. So they're saying exactly what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And just like any other skill you want
Speaker 1: to master, it requires daily practice and repetition. It must
Speaker 1: become habitual. That part daily practice. I mean yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1: I could, you know, do the night yoga with Um
Speaker 1: Rodney Lee. I could do the nighttime yoga. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We're gonna take a quick break and
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back, you know, beyond. I supposed
Speaker 1: to send me something. I'm so excited. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to see whatever it is. She gonna send you one
Speaker 1: in box thing all the calls and ship, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. It could it could be a pickle,
Speaker 1: pick foot, it could be anything. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: love her and I'm still do fee ship. Every time
Speaker 1: I'm around that woman I'd be like I've never ever
Speaker 1: met her. Never. I can't. She tried. I've talked to
Speaker 1: myself on my way into things like all right, you
Speaker 1: know you're gonna see. Be Honest, I get yourself together.
Speaker 1: You know, every time I talked to her only twice,
Speaker 1: but she like want to us, she do feel like us.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, that's how she can't. I can't talk,
Speaker 1: I can't. And she loves you so Goddamn much. Her too.
Speaker 1: I love her, love her lover. She does this thing
Speaker 1: on the plastic on the couch song that sounds just
Speaker 1: like you. She does this thing is vocally I'm a.
Speaker 1: She does it a couple of times and I said
Speaker 1: I believe me. I was like, that's me, she loves me.
Speaker 1: She did a thing. Said, oh, that's too. And then
Speaker 1: there's that one song that said it was just like
Speaker 1: Kelly Roland, just like Kelly row I mean she definitely
Speaker 1: studies like vocal stylings. That's one thing I think is
Speaker 1: kind of cool about what she does is that she
Speaker 1: has the she has the technical skill and the education.
Speaker 1: She has a thing where she can mimic stylings that
Speaker 1: everybody can't do. That that's what makes her actually quite different.
Speaker 1: That with the Grace Jones cut, I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: even to me. But she does that with afrobeat, she
Speaker 1: does it with Reggae, she's done it with country, she's
Speaker 1: done it with pop. I mean she knows how to
Speaker 1: create the character needed for the for the record, I
Speaker 1: feel like that is that's discipline. I feel like. I
Speaker 1: really feel like that. She actually takes the time to
Speaker 1: study and practice things. She's very well, obviously gifted as
Speaker 1: so much, but she she clearly takes the time to
Speaker 1: practice a thing, and that's that's what that's what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about. When I'm like, Damn, in my beyonce, mine,
Speaker 1: like I have to get a lot more, more, and actually,
Speaker 1: I want to say this, I think that because the
Speaker 1: people around her respect that how important that processes. When
Speaker 1: she had children, her children were brought into her life
Speaker 1: in such a way, incorporated into her life in such
Speaker 1: a way that respected that. That space to study was
Speaker 1: is needed, and I think that's what allows her to
Speaker 1: be mother to three children into also, I mean outside
Speaker 1: of half. You know, just because you can pay for
Speaker 1: help doesn't mean you get good help. There's that the
Speaker 1: people around her respect her process and there are people
Speaker 1: who love and respect her. You can tell that because
Speaker 1: you can't function like that in those dual roles, the
Speaker 1: type of time and energy she has to put in
Speaker 1: to be excellent. That up all night, that that that
Speaker 1: that constant boom, boom, boom. Yeah, no, and that's that's
Speaker 1: a requirement. That's that's a requirement moving forward. When you
Speaker 1: know that you need time, you don't want to be
Speaker 1: with anybody that's monopolizing all of your time or trying to.
Speaker 1: That's that's a real thing, you know, getting away from
Speaker 1: from the people that you love in order to finish
Speaker 1: the process of what you're trying to do and them
Speaker 1: allowing you to get away. Yes, step five here is
Speaker 1: to create new habits and rituals. Working on it. I
Speaker 1: like to meditation piece I was talking about earlier. I
Speaker 1: was like, I know, Damn well, I need to get
Speaker 1: up in the mornings and do more these meditations on
Speaker 1: the daily just start my day off right. But it's
Speaker 1: the foundation you are laying. This is what angel was
Speaker 1: saying earlier. Is exactly what she was saying. To avoid
Speaker 1: feeling intimidated, keep it simple, break your goals into small,
Speaker 1: doable steps, the micro dose of, you know, accomplishments. Don't
Speaker 1: make it so heavy. Um. Number six is change your
Speaker 1: perception about willpower. You know perception as a mother. If
Speaker 1: you believe you have limited amount of willpower, you probably
Speaker 1: won't surpass those limits. What about changing your perception? The
Speaker 1: seal candidate who believes they probably won't make it through
Speaker 1: training will not succeed. Why assume our will to win
Speaker 1: can only take us so far? When we embrace the
Speaker 1: mindset of unlimited willpower, we continue to grow, achieve more
Speaker 1: and develop mental toughness. It is the simple philosophy as
Speaker 1: setting stretched goals. In short, our internal conceptions about willpower
Speaker 1: and self control can determine how disciplined we actually are.
Speaker 1: I love it so any time that I'm like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'll never be able to I can't do that, you
Speaker 1: know you better watch you, as as they say it
Speaker 1: around that way, watch your motherfucking mouth. Definitely have to
Speaker 1: watch the words you put out there and you affirm,
Speaker 1: and watch you and manifest, because Ye, don't say what
Speaker 1: you can't do. Don't say what won't happen. Don't say
Speaker 1: what won't happen. Say Well, will if you wanted to.
Speaker 1: Anybody that's listening to Jay Dot Il the PODCAST, you
Speaker 1: know that this is not just about, you know, three
Speaker 1: women expounding on our experience and all the things that
Speaker 1: we know. We're in the process of growing and learning
Speaker 1: every day and we're just exceptionally blessed to be able
Speaker 1: to share these conversations with you, um, because really and
Speaker 1: truly we want that for you, to want you to grow,
Speaker 1: I want you to to figure out what you haven't
Speaker 1: yet and know that you know. This is this is
Speaker 1: a price sets. It's all a process and I definitely
Speaker 1: appreciate having this conversation. I feel like I'm learning so much.
Speaker 1: Step number seven is give yourself a backup plan. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is controversial, though. You ever heard that? Uh, I
Speaker 1: don't even know who it was. I think it was
Speaker 1: Keena and ivory wains or Damon wains or somebody. I
Speaker 1: think it was Smith, was it? Somebody says something ball
Speaker 1: playing a and there's no other plans. Yeah, like don't
Speaker 1: have a backup plan or fallback something. Don't have it.
Speaker 1: It's like, that's interesting. I don't agree. I think you're
Speaker 1: supposed to be playing him. Oh, that didn't work, okay,
Speaker 1: moving on. Hey, that didn't work. Okay, that didn't work.
Speaker 1: Moving on. That's what I think. And eventually, if you've
Speaker 1: got the skill set or the talent or the personality
Speaker 1: or the inclination, something's gonna hit. Yeah, something that's absolutely
Speaker 1: gonna hit. As long as it's something that you love
Speaker 1: to do, then you're you're good. Yeah, because I feel
Speaker 1: like in my life um flexibility has been like a
Speaker 1: blessing for me and but also too. I wanted to
Speaker 1: kind of circle back to what you said, was you
Speaker 1: know something's gonna hit. I think people just really don't
Speaker 1: understand what a blessing consistency really is when you really
Speaker 1: be on top of it and you stay on top
Speaker 1: of and you keep going and keep doing what's necessary,
Speaker 1: like it's going to come together, like it really is.
Speaker 1: But I just feel like for some reason we can
Speaker 1: talk ourselves out of of the the growth and the
Speaker 1: consistency necessary to reach a goal before you can even
Speaker 1: get there, because we expect certain things to happen and
Speaker 1: certain things to kind of validate the efforts that we do.
Speaker 1: I come from Joyce you know. One day she come
Speaker 1: home and like I make smoothies, and then she makes
Speaker 1: smoothies and then the whole neighborhood be on on Joycey's
Speaker 1: movies and then she's like Hey, I'm going to sleep
Speaker 1: for a week, I'm going to I'm going to make dressers.
Speaker 1: She made anything and felt anything she felt like doing.
Speaker 1: That's how we survived based on, you know, whatever came
Speaker 1: up to her mind at that moment, a dress sign.
Speaker 1: That's when you're playing m stuff comes from. That's fascinating.
Speaker 1: I mean it always fascinates me when you know the
Speaker 1: history of somebody right, like when you really know the context,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, okay. That's why Jill always has BC
Speaker 1: yet and that's why Jill does also detest when people
Speaker 1: are are frivolous, because if it wasn't for the pants
Speaker 1: that she made, she wouldn't have been able to buy
Speaker 1: the wood cutter thingy that she had. I forget what
Speaker 1: kind of blade that was, but she wouldn't have been
Speaker 1: able to buy that. And then, if she hadn't done
Speaker 1: so well with all the address signs, she and have
Speaker 1: been able to get the all apolyor thing and the
Speaker 1: standing machine that she had to make her dressers. You got,
Speaker 1: you must have this whole philosophy that kind of like
Speaker 1: there's no reason why you can't figure out a way
Speaker 1: to to if your mind is right and everything else
Speaker 1: is right inside of you and physically, why can't you
Speaker 1: figure out a way to provide, or at least like
Speaker 1: eat in a way right, like what can we do
Speaker 1: punch Ranella, punch enel. What can you do? And shoot, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can do it. Do but you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: like you might actually really want. I mean, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie to you. I definitely the first love has
Speaker 1: always been writing. It's always been that. As I was
Speaker 1: trying to get work as a writer, I sang so
Speaker 1: they could understand what I was writing. And they're like, Hey,
Speaker 1: you're a singer. I was like yes, yes, and then sure,
Speaker 1: I am. Yeah, and then, you know, one thing led
Speaker 1: to another, and you know, the poetry thing. I never
Speaker 1: stopped that because I always loved writing. And then they
Speaker 1: were like you're an actor, and I was like, indeed,
Speaker 1: lie that. Yes, Song's gonna work, because I mean it
Speaker 1: all and I'm not mad at any job that I have.
Speaker 1: I'm not. You know, well, if this doesn't work out,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do construction. I did demolition and realized I
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. You know, my back still
Speaker 1: is mad at me about that one. But to rum nonetheless.
Speaker 1: But you tried it because you could, because your body could.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't let you do it at the time and you
Speaker 1: were able. Yeah, but not pay for that one. Um
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you these last two real quick step eight,
Speaker 1: fine trusted coaches or mentors. We talked about this all
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, find somebody that can help. God you
Speaker 1: along the way, because nobody knows everything. You think are wonderful.
Speaker 1: BEYONCE doesn't have people talking to her. But WHO's she
Speaker 1: talking to? I would listen. I want to know beyonce's mentor.
Speaker 1: That's right. Right. I'm like, is it like missy? That?
Speaker 1: Maybe missy. That is one in a way. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. But wait, man, I
Speaker 1: don't know. That's a that's a level of accountability. I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm ready for to be beyonce's mentor. No,
Speaker 1: to meet beyonce's mentor. Do you bow? Like what you like? Right,
Speaker 1: what do you do? Curtsy, for sure. Step number nine,
Speaker 1: according to Forbes on how to have self discipline and motivation,
Speaker 1: I probably threw that in there, is forgive yourself and
Speaker 1: move forward. Oh, you're gonna make that sound easy like that. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's cute. That's cute. That's so. You're not saying so
Speaker 1: added yourself is you didn't accomplish this thing. Forgive Yourself.
Speaker 1: It's nothing. Has An opportunity to wake up tomorrow. See,
Speaker 1: that's some self that's high level self work. You can
Speaker 1: do that thing. That doesn't mean that we get to
Speaker 1: just keep putting it off and putting it off, because
Speaker 1: that's not that's discipline. That's just more procrastination, and we've
Speaker 1: got plenty of that. Plenty. But forgive yourself lovingly and
Speaker 1: move forward. That's that's number nine. Are you know, all right, Forbes?
Speaker 1: You know I'll rock with you on this one. I've
Speaker 1: seen some things that work. Nine powerful ways to cultivate
Speaker 1: extreme self discipline. I don't know about the extreme portion,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna take what I can get from out
Speaker 1: of this thing because I've got some goals. I definitely do.
Speaker 1: I also think um congratulate us for having already implemented
Speaker 1: some of these things already than being a part of
Speaker 1: our personal ways of doing things, and so maybe we
Speaker 1: weren't as off we thought we were. I hugged myself
Speaker 1: really softly. Just thank you so much for listening to
Speaker 1: Jay dot ill little podcast. Please Hug yourself softly. Fisha.
Speaker 1: How do you eat an elephant? One by it time.
Speaker 1: Hey listeners, it's amber, the producer of Jay Dot Il here.
Speaker 1: Let's all remember to frame self discipline and success with happiness,
Speaker 1: rest and balance. I'm dropping a link in the show
Speaker 1: notes from the Forbes article that you'll read to you
Speaker 1: from today's episode. Take care of yourselves. You are worth it.
Speaker 1: Rest and happiness are all elements to success. Hi If
Speaker 1: you have comments on something he said in this episode
Speaker 1: called eight six six. Hey, Jill, if you want to
Speaker 1: add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five
Speaker 1: four five by. Don't forget to tell us your name
Speaker 1: and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear
Speaker 1: your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening
Speaker 1: to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot ill. The podcast Ja
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