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Speaker 1: You have to help yourself and you always have to

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Speaker 1: be a student of the sport. And that's one of

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Speaker 1: the things I pride myself on is being a student

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Speaker 1: of the sport, watching film, getting in the room and

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Speaker 1: trying things out, getting out of my comfort zone, trying

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Speaker 1: new things, teaching new things us our kids get to

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Speaker 1: a certain level. You have to do that. This is

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Speaker 1: the Reformed Sports Project, a podcast about restoring healthy balance

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Speaker 1: and perspective in all areas of sport through education and advocacy. Hi,

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Speaker 1: this is Nick Bonicoort from the Reformed Sports Podcast. Today,

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Speaker 1: I'm speaking with Willie Hillen, three time All American wrestler

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Speaker 1: from the University of North Carolina Pembroke. An esteemed coach

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Speaker 1: with a passion for helping to develop well rounded athletes.

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Speaker 1: Willie owns and operates sly Fox Wrestling Club in Wilmington,

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Speaker 1: North Carolina. A longtime friend of mine. Willie and I

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Speaker 1: discuss why he still considers himself a student of the sport,

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Speaker 1: the importance of letting go of vigo, particularly when coaching,

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Speaker 1: and why teaching accountability is an integral part of his

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Speaker 1: coaching philosophy. I'm might start crying. I got my next guest, Man,

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Speaker 1: this is my man, old friends Man. This guy has

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Speaker 1: had a major impact on not only my life, but

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Speaker 1: my kids lives. He's the owner of Sly Fox Wrestling

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Speaker 1: Club here in Wilmington, North Carolina. Three time NCAA All

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Speaker 1: American from the University of North Carolina, Pembrooke, just a

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Speaker 1: hammer wrestler, my man, Coach Willie Hill, and Willie thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for hopping on man, oh Man, thanks

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Speaker 1: for having me. Man, You've had some big names in

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Speaker 1: a sports song, so I'm just honored to be on.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Well, I'll tell you right now, man.

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Speaker 1: You know you talk about big names and sport was

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Speaker 1: as far as me my family. I'll give everyone here

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Speaker 1: a little background. So my first introduction into the sport

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Speaker 1: of wrestling my families was about seven years ago. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I want to get I want my kids to try it,

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Speaker 1: you know, give him a shot, bring him in there.

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Speaker 1: And coach Willie Hill and I just started this club.

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Speaker 1: I heard so many great things about him, and it

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Speaker 1: was just one of those things where my two older boys,

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Speaker 1: Tyler and Ave, they just kind of fell in love

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Speaker 1: with the sport in particular Avery. But you know, why

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Speaker 1: it's so important to me, Why will he's such an

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Speaker 1: important figure in my life. Is he's become so much

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Speaker 1: more than just my kids coach. He's become a mentor.

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Speaker 1: He's become someone I go to, my wife Amy goes

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Speaker 1: to when something comes up with our teenage kids, like

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Speaker 1: especially Avery and Tyler. He's someone we lean on to

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Speaker 1: help us, you know, in the overall raising of our kids.

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Speaker 1: You know, he has that much of a relationship with

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Speaker 1: him and Willy want I want to ask you, man,

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Speaker 1: is I know wrestling's your passion, you know, something obviously

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Speaker 1: that you do because you love it. But these relationships

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Speaker 1: that you build with these kids, in particular my son Avery,

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Speaker 1: obviously Tyler too, but let's stick with Avery, it's a big,

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Speaker 1: big piece of his life. How does the relationship piece

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Speaker 1: fit in, you know, through the sport of wrestling. For you,

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a part of it, right, Like I mean,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're gonna be working with someone like with Avery.

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Speaker 1: I met when he was ten, so he's seventeen now

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Speaker 1: about to be eighteen. So that's that's a lot of

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Speaker 1: time time you spend with guys in the room, a

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Speaker 1: lot of time on the road we spent together, so

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Speaker 1: it kind of happens naturally. But especially when you're when

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Speaker 1: you're battling in the room with people. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you've ever been in a fight before, but if

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Speaker 1: you're getting a fight with someone and then maybe ten

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Speaker 1: minutes later because are the best of friends. The wrestling

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Speaker 1: is kind of the same thing. Man, you build a

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Speaker 1: special bomb with somebody after wrestling with them maybe once

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Speaker 1: or twice, but doing it for seven to eight years, it's, uh,

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Speaker 1: it's something that's pretty special and you get to really

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Speaker 1: know who a person is through wrestling them. When you're

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Speaker 1: teaching these kids, um, you know in the room with

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Speaker 1: you are you trying to figure out you know, what

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Speaker 1: moves them? You know what get like I always talk about,

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Speaker 1: you know, knowing which kid needs, you know, for lack

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Speaker 1: of a better word, a pat on the back of

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Speaker 1: versus sometimes they need a you know, a foot in

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Speaker 1: the rear right for lack of a better word or

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Speaker 1: a better term. It is building that relationship a way

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Speaker 1: for you to know which buttons to push to get

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Speaker 1: them to be motivated and get them to do you know,

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Speaker 1: what's in their best interest in what you're trying to

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Speaker 1: teach them. Yeah, I mean that's that's a part of

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Speaker 1: being a coach is observing and seeing, you know, what

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Speaker 1: makes someone tick and what doesn't make them tick. So

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Speaker 1: I have to watch and you know, see what I say.

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Speaker 1: I gotta like it's it's a trial and error where

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Speaker 1: I can be tough on a kid and I can

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Speaker 1: see if that helps them elevate himself or if it

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Speaker 1: brings them down. And I gotta know, all right, well,

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Speaker 1: I can't yell at a little Timmy because that's going

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Speaker 1: to really bring his performance down. So I gotta pat

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Speaker 1: Timmy on the back and make sure he knows I'm

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Speaker 1: behind them, I'm supporting them, and he's and he's going

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Speaker 1: to do well. So it's a it's a trial and error.

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Speaker 1: I've had plenty of years to uh to test it

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Speaker 1: out on people and make a bunch of people mad

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Speaker 1: and then finally come back and and fix it and

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Speaker 1: make people happy. So it's like I said, it's trial

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Speaker 1: and error and we we figured it out, just like life.

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Speaker 1: And that's that's a big thick with wrestling. It's a

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Speaker 1: big reflection of life. And they're going to be times

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Speaker 1: where you where you screw up, but you can always

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Speaker 1: go back and make it right. So that's that's where

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Speaker 1: I am with that. You were a three time nca

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Speaker 1: All American. What I would argue to be, you know,

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Speaker 1: one of the hardest sports in the world to do.

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Speaker 1: Did you have mentors throughout your high school and college

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Speaker 1: career that that helped mold you into your coaching philosophy

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Speaker 1: that you have today. Yeah, I can say pretty much

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Speaker 1: every coach I've had or been around, I've kind of

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Speaker 1: taken a little bit from him. My high school coach was,

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Speaker 1: you know, a calm, cool, collected guy. He knew a

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Speaker 1: lot about the sport. I mean, he gave us a

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Speaker 1: really good foundation, and that's why I think I'm really

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Speaker 1: good at teaching kids at the beginner level and then

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Speaker 1: the intermediate and higher levels because I wrestled at a

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Speaker 1: pretty high level. I can still remember all the stuff

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Speaker 1: my high school coach did with me because that's when

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Speaker 1: I started wrestling. So I take all the stuff that

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Speaker 1: my high school coach did with me when when we

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Speaker 1: first got into it, and I can take things from

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Speaker 1: all my college coaches, pieces from each one of them

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Speaker 1: that I had, and whether it be from their their attitudes,

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Speaker 1: their their techniques there, the way they treated us. I

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Speaker 1: can take something from all those guys, all those coaches,

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Speaker 1: whether it be from guys at last Community College, the

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Speaker 1: guys at UNC Pembroke, guys I work wrestling camps with.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean it's it's a pot of gumble

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Speaker 1: of coaching that I like to think that I have

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Speaker 1: that I've taken pieces from some of everybody and uh

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Speaker 1: kind of motored it and made my own system and

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Speaker 1: made it my own. That's a good point, man. It

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Speaker 1: brings up that diversity piece, you know, like you you

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Speaker 1: can learn because oftentimes you hear parents are all this

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Speaker 1: coaches you know, or kids you know, this coach is

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Speaker 1: terrible or this coach is great or whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: It's like man as as an adult, you know, if

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Speaker 1: my kid is at a you know, in school, you know, middle's,

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Speaker 1: middle school or playing wreck ball or whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: and you know, maybe they come across the coach that

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Speaker 1: isn't the most knowledgeable. There's still lessons to be learned there.

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Speaker 1: Like there's still ways, like you know, especially the more

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Speaker 1: mature you get as an athlete, you can pick out

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Speaker 1: those things. But I mean you're all always learning, right,

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Speaker 1: is that something you try to always teach these kids like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you're you either win or you or you learn, right,

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Speaker 1: I mean, there's no means that hit Yeah, absolutely, I

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Speaker 1: mean you have especially in this sport. This sport will

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Speaker 1: humble you. Regardless of what level you're at, whether you're

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Speaker 1: you know, at the high school level, whether you're at

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Speaker 1: the Olympic level, You're always going to get humbled. So

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Speaker 1: you always have to be looking to learn and uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, figure out every position. You see guys at

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Speaker 1: the highest of levels that are still you know, fixing

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Speaker 1: things in certain positions, whether it be mentally, whether it

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Speaker 1: be out on the map. So yeah, you have to

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Speaker 1: humble yourself and you always have to be a student

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Speaker 1: of the sport. And that's what I've really pride myself.

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Speaker 1: And one of the things I pride myself on is

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Speaker 1: being a student of the sport, watching film, getting in

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Speaker 1: the room and trying things out, getting out of my

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Speaker 1: comfort zone, trying new things, teaching new things. Once our

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Speaker 1: kids get to a certain level, and uh, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: got you have to do that. One of the things

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Speaker 1: that you know, really got me, you know, so in

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Speaker 1: love with wrestling, and I'll kind of dive into I mean,

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Speaker 1: by the time this is released, Avery will have hopefully

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Speaker 1: won his first high school state title. Um that's in

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Speaker 1: a week and a half from from today. Um, you know,

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Speaker 1: hopefully he'll be wrestling. And he was a state runner

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Speaker 1: up last year. I know, you know, both of us,

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Speaker 1: all of us, you know, Amy and I and all

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Speaker 1: our family. He's been having, you know, really incredible season

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Speaker 1: and getting a lot of recognition. He's done a lot

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Speaker 1: of work for that. But we remember back, you know,

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Speaker 1: and what really drew me into the sport as a

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Speaker 1: parent was Avery. You know, some of you who are

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Speaker 1: listening may may not know the story, but um, Avery

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Speaker 1: was adopted. Um, my wife adopted him. It's actually her

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Speaker 1: biological nephew, and he's now my adopted son as well.

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Speaker 1: He came from a from a very tough situation. Um

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Speaker 1: was living in Ohio and this all came out in

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Speaker 1: an article in the paper here recently. And um, you know,

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Speaker 1: he he struggled, you know, he struggled Willie as you know,

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Speaker 1: and he struggled, uh in many ways. So when my

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Speaker 1: wife brought him here, he was I mean a d D.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he was off the chart, Sponkors you know,

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Speaker 1: when he when he came here, I mean, he was

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Speaker 1: all over the mark. Kid just wanted to please. But

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Speaker 1: you know one thing that we noticed immediately Willie was

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Speaker 1: when he started wrestling, he calmed down, He was able

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Speaker 1: to lock in better at school, and as he got older,

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Speaker 1: he talked about how important wrestling was for him to

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Speaker 1: be able to focus more. And then he was taking

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Speaker 1: some add medicine prior to you know, Amy and I connecting,

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Speaker 1: of course getting married, and then shortly after his wrestling

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Speaker 1: it was like he didn't need to take it anymore,

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Speaker 1: and he hasn't since. Have you seen other instances where

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Speaker 1: the sport of wrestling has like gotten kids that maybe

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Speaker 1: extremely hyper, have maybe some anger issues or whatever. It

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Speaker 1: becomes this outlet for them to release it in a

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Speaker 1: healthy way like Avery. Yeah, absolutely, I've countless kids I've

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Speaker 1: seen like that, and wrestling, that's that's what the sport does, man,

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Speaker 1: is something that as long as you got the right

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Speaker 1: person that's giving it to you, they can show you

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Speaker 1: how to take that energy and place it in the

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Speaker 1: right place. I can just I can vividly remember Avery

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Speaker 1: coming in the room and and you know, just being

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Speaker 1: ultra violent, but in a good way, and I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: I if I can get this guy to really channel this,

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Speaker 1: he can be pretty special. And uh yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: I didn't do anything special besides teaching them how to

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Speaker 1: wrestle the right way and and and telling them, hey,

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Speaker 1: you gotta be calming these positions, you gotta you gotta

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Speaker 1: explode these positions. And it's it's the same with a

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Speaker 1: lot of other kids. Man. It's it's something that you

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Speaker 1: hear kids say, our parents say, my kid has ADHD. Well,

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Speaker 1: when you're wrestling, you're gonna expend a lot of energy.

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Speaker 1: So by the end of it, they're not looking to

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Speaker 1: run around and do it. It'thing crazy. So that's another

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Speaker 1: thing about it where it's something that that really builds

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Speaker 1: your your card or your bascular your your muscular endurance,

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Speaker 1: and it's something that h yeah, it'll it'll calm that down.

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Speaker 1: In most cases, I've seen maybe one or two kids

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Speaker 1: that really just can't focus. But for the most part,

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Speaker 1: you get a kid in the wrestling and they can

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Speaker 1: really turn their lives around and you know, really really

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Speaker 1: get things together and really hone in and focus and

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Speaker 1: get better at life in general. You know, you we

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Speaker 1: obviously talk on a daily basis. And one of the

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Speaker 1: things that we notice obviously you run a club which

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Speaker 1: has really seen just huge growth. You know, here we

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Speaker 1: are in Wilming to North Carolina, it's a hot bed

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Speaker 1: for athletes. But I definitely wouldn't consider the southeast, particular

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Speaker 1: where we are in North Carolina a hot bed for wrestling.

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Speaker 1: Right It's basketball, baseball, football, kind of all those mainstream sports,

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Speaker 1: even lacrosse and such. But you know, you run a

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Speaker 1: club and the club culture and matter no matter what

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Speaker 1: sport it is. Because all my kids have played all

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Speaker 1: different sports, and I've had all different guests on meant,

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Speaker 1: some of these coaches and listen, I know you're not

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Speaker 1: one of them, but man, they like to claim their kids. Boy,

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Speaker 1: they like to say, hey, that's my kid I've developed.

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Speaker 1: You know, it seems like almost at times, like everybody's

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Speaker 1: looking for that one kid that they can attach it.

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Speaker 1: And I've seen it so many times, particularly on social media,

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Speaker 1: where you know, whether it's a baseball club or some

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Speaker 1: travel team whatever, it's like, you know, someone gets drafted

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Speaker 1: or goes to the pros and it's like, oh, that

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Speaker 1: kid came through this program, that kid came through here,

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Speaker 1: it's like club owners and teams in organzation just trying

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Speaker 1: to stake their claim and a kid like, we're like,

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Speaker 1: we're taking land back in the two hundred years ago. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of exactly what it is. I mean, And

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Speaker 1: you got to think about it. You're dealing with people

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Speaker 1: with egos, and we all have an ego to a

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Speaker 1: certain degree, right, And I have to check myself at

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Speaker 1: times because I mean, what we're doing this for is

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Speaker 1: to help kids out. That's the that's the main objective, right,

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Speaker 1: But sometimes you get caught up and winning. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we all want to win. We all want to be

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Speaker 1: the best. So I think some people let that get

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Speaker 1: to them and they go out and whether it's recruiting

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Speaker 1: or a kid comes in their room once or twice,

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Speaker 1: and they try to attach themselves to them. I try

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Speaker 1: not to do that. Like I help kids from all

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Speaker 1: different clubs, so I know that that kids at a

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Speaker 1: certain club, I'm not going to attach myself to them

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Speaker 1: when they do well out of competition. I let the

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Speaker 1: kid of their parents do that if they won't give

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Speaker 1: me any kind of recognition. Now, kids from our club,

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Speaker 1: I'll put on our page because they're part of our club,

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Speaker 1: but anybody else I help outside of our club, that's

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Speaker 1: that's out of me wanting to help North Carolina Wrestling

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Speaker 1: get better as a whole, and not mean trying to

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Speaker 1: attach myself to anyone that's already really good. Like I

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Speaker 1: made a post the other day that I reposted with

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Speaker 1: yours where I really pride myself and taking kids that

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Speaker 1: haven't wrestled before and turning them into a wrestler not

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Speaker 1: only a great wrestler, but good human beings. And I'll

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Speaker 1: also I'll work with any wrestlers regardless of what level is,

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Speaker 1: whether you're in college, high school wrestling at the state level,

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Speaker 1: no matter who you are, where you are, I'll work

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Speaker 1: with you. But I'm not trying to go out and

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Speaker 1: recruit the best wrestlers around and attach myself to them

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Speaker 1: just to make my club look better. I do it

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Speaker 1: to help kids get better at wrestling that life, and

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Speaker 1: like I said, any other kids from any other clubs

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Speaker 1: that I have helped in the past is to help

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Speaker 1: them get better as people as well. So that's where

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Speaker 1: I'm at with that, And it's not about, you know,

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Speaker 1: trying to build a brand. It's more about helping kids

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day. You know, you and

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Speaker 1: I have very into conversations offline, and you have been

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Speaker 1: one of the people that I know have openly said

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Speaker 1: to me, Man, I wish that we can have a

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Speaker 1: situation where people were more open mind. So, you know,

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Speaker 1: it seems to me you would love it to be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: let's all work together and like drop. I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: okay to be competitive, but it's also healthy competition. Right,

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Speaker 1: Let's like send your kids someone else's club and then

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Speaker 1: send yours and let's say, let's work together. But wouldn't

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Speaker 1: it be better if if the adults just kind of,

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Speaker 1: you know, sat back and say, hey, what's in the kids?

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Speaker 1: But maybe it's better if we all kind of collectively

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Speaker 1: work together. Yeah, I honestly like for me, I feel

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Speaker 1: like Lana is kind of getting to that point. We're

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Speaker 1: at a stage now where I think people are letting

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Speaker 1: their guard down and seeing, all right, well, this guy

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Speaker 1: isn't trying to steal my kids. They're trying to He's

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Speaker 1: trying to actually help. I'm speaking from from my experiences

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Speaker 1: working with other kids and talking to their coaches about

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Speaker 1: what they need to work on. So I think we're

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Speaker 1: getting to a point where we're starting to want to

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Speaker 1: help each other out. Just prime example, I want to

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Speaker 1: bring up Joe Joe Seely and Jackson Worse. Those guys

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Speaker 1: both left because there wasn't a situation here where they

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Speaker 1: could get better. And I think all the coaches here

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Speaker 1: kind of see that, and we want to build a

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Speaker 1: situation where kids can travel all over and get better

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Speaker 1: and they don't have to leave their home and they

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Speaker 1: can wrestle at a high level. We have some of

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Speaker 1: the best coaches in the country here in North Carolina,

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Speaker 1: and we can actually do that. We can have a

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Speaker 1: situation where kids don't have to leave if the club

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Speaker 1: coaches are willing to work together. I mean, the state's

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Speaker 1: big enough where we got kids that are wrestling at

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Speaker 1: a high level now that if they want to go

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Speaker 1: train at whether it become bad, or go train that

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Speaker 1: dark Horse, or come out here to the coach and

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Speaker 1: train with me at SI Fox, they should be able

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Speaker 1: to do that. And their coaches, I don't think, for

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Speaker 1: the most part, would have a problem with it. I

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Speaker 1: think there are a few that do have problems with

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Speaker 1: their kids going to other clubs, And I get it

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Speaker 1: to a certain degree where I wouldn't want my kid,

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Speaker 1: my beginners going and getting a bunch of different things

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Speaker 1: thrown out them. I won't have a foundation built from

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Speaker 1: our wrestlers first, once they really know how to wrestle,

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Speaker 1: and hey, have a a gold train with as many

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Speaker 1: clubs as you want. This will always be home base.

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Speaker 1: But you guys, I can't give you everything. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's where where coaches eagles coming to play again.

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Speaker 1: Where the coach does think they can give them everything,

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Speaker 1: and that's not necessarily the case. Where toati across the

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Speaker 1: street may be able to explain something a little bit

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Speaker 1: different and it may click in your kid's head, where

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Speaker 1: vice versa, I may be able to explaining something a

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Speaker 1: little bit different where the other coach can't and it

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Speaker 1: might click. So I think that, yeah, we're getting to

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Speaker 1: a point where where that's not an issue, but it

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Speaker 1: still kind of is with some coaches here. And for

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Speaker 1: those that don't know Jack's Force Joe cially two of

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Speaker 1: the best wrestlers in the United States. They grew up

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Speaker 1: here in North Carolina, you know, moved on there at

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Speaker 1: two of the best high schools in the state of Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, for all I know, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: they're on their road to potentially be an Olympic Olympic medallists.

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Speaker 1: For crying out loud, they're really doing an incredible, incredible

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Speaker 1: job and their own right up in PA right now.

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Speaker 1: But one another thing that's pretty astonishing, and I actually

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Speaker 1: had Tamara mensas stock on a few months back, you know,

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Speaker 1: a gold medal winner for the US man women's wrestling.

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Speaker 1: Girls wrestling one of the fastest growing sports I'm seeing.

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Speaker 1: Are you seeing more young ladies wanting to give the

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Speaker 1: sport a try around here? Not as much, but I

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Speaker 1: think around this date is definitely growing. And uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: one of my my first coaching experiences UM in New England,

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Speaker 1: when I first took over a club up that way,

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Speaker 1: I had a young lady by the name of Kara

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Speaker 1: Brotus who came in the club and she totally changed

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Speaker 1: my perspective on women's wrestling. She was one of the

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Speaker 1: toughest people in the room. She showed up every day,

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Speaker 1: worked her butt off, and uh eventually became a Fargo champ.

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Speaker 1: I think she's wrestling in college now at Sacred Heart UM.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's definitely growing. With me being a new

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Speaker 1: girl dad, I'll definitely have my girl on the map

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Speaker 1: for sure. My kids are going to wrestle, uh regardless,

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Speaker 1: but they'll y'll they'll train with us. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: force him to compete, but they'll train with us two

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Speaker 1: or three days a week, just so they'll know, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, how to wrestle and what the sport does

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Speaker 1: for him. I know what the sport does for kids. So, um,

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Speaker 1: that's one thing. It'll be like school, Like they'll go

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Speaker 1: to school and they'll come come wrestle with me at school.

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Speaker 1: But but yeah, girls, women's wrestling has grown where we

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Speaker 1: have one girl here that just won a state title. Um,

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Speaker 1: Annabelle Rodriguez. She she's very similar to care where she

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Speaker 1: comes in. Her room, works above, that's with the boys,

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Speaker 1: doesn't complain. Just a great athlete to have rounding women

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Speaker 1: for the most part, they're a joyful me to work with.

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Speaker 1: They listen a lot better than the boys. So it's

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Speaker 1: it's a good sport. Just we just have to get

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Speaker 1: more of the women involved here in Wilmington, in this

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Speaker 1: area where we can really blow it up around here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Willie has literally got a month old daughter, Nola, and

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Speaker 1: his older son Lucas, so he's now I mean kidding.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, man, wait until you have this second child.

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Speaker 1: Your life is about to go a little bit crazy

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Speaker 1: here for a minute. So how I know it's early, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but uh, are you starting to feel the effects of

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Speaker 1: having kid number two around? No? It is sunshine and rainbows. No, man,

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Speaker 1: it's it's just uh, it's not as bad. But I

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Speaker 1: am up. Like we do it in shifts, right, So

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Speaker 1: I get home from practice around eight eight thirty. I

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Speaker 1: come home, I shout, I uh, take care of Luca.

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Speaker 1: I get him base, and then I'm on the Nola shift.

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Speaker 1: I put him in bed, and I'll have Nola from

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Speaker 1: around nine until about two maybe three in the morning,

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Speaker 1: and then it's LORI shift, and then I go sleep

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Speaker 1: and get ready for work. So it's not bad. I

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Speaker 1: get I get a decent amount of rest, and I'm

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Speaker 1: up and going. But it's definitely something different right now.

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Speaker 1: We need to get her sleeping on a regular basis

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Speaker 1: so I can get my regular sleep back. But it's

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Speaker 1: not as bad, but it's uh, it's a it's a change.

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Speaker 1: It's a process. Parent life, baby life. Man, I've been

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Speaker 1: in that life for a long time. And it's you

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Speaker 1: want to talk about humbling, it's a it's a humbling.

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Speaker 1: It's a blessing obviously, but holy cow, it's it's a

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Speaker 1: lot of work. When we come back, Willie and I

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Speaker 1: discuss why he strives to teach kids to book in

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Speaker 1: the mirror and hold themselves accountable. Welcome back. Where we

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Speaker 1: left off, Willie and I were about to talk about

426
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 1: why parents should focus on the lessons their kids are

427
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 1: learning rather than the wins and losses. Willie, I gotta

428
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 1: ask you, man, you know, as you continue to see

429
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 1: the ecosystem of youth sports, right, obviously you're entrenched in

430
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 1: the wrestling, but I mean, I know you're one who's

431
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 1: very much into letting kids, you know, explore different things

432
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,639
Speaker 1: and versatility, and you're you know, you played all different sports.

433
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,480
Speaker 1: But like you know, when you look at a sport

434
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: like like wrestling, and you talk about extracting some of

435
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,560
Speaker 1: those soft skills like you mentioned, you know, those life skills,

436
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 1: those you know, the competition, the overcome adversity, all those things,

437
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 1: Like why is it now you as a parent, now

438
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,479
Speaker 1: you're not a sports parent. You probably will be very

439
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 1: very soon, but like, what are the things in particular

440
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: that you took away from your experience that you hope

441
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: your kids do. Oh Well, one is the health factor

442
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 1: in it. I mean, you gotta be if you want

443
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 1: to wrestle or do anything at an elite level, you

444
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: have to be healthy, live and healthy lifestyle. So that's

445
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,880
Speaker 1: that's a big part of it. Teaching our kids how

446
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 1: to win and lose, that's a big partners mean, those

447
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,239
Speaker 1: are things you want to deal with in life. You're

448
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: gonna have good and bad days, and you got to

449
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 1: find a way to deal with those bad days. And

450
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,640
Speaker 1: you gotta you know, be humble on those good days

451
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: as well. So that's that's another one. And just teaching

452
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 1: them how to deal with adversity, uh you know, like

453
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 1: I said, that's that's another one. That's a part of life.

454
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: You gotta be able to deal with with things when

455
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: they when they don't go as planning, accountability, that's another one.

456
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 1: That's a huge one. So if you're not doing the

457
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 1: things you need to do, don't expect the results you

458
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: want if you're not doing the right things. And even

459
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: if you are doing the right things, I'll tell our

460
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,439
Speaker 1: kids this all the time. I'm like, man, you can

461
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: come in here, bust your tail, do everything right, and

462
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 1: things still not work out for you, and that's sometimes

463
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,120
Speaker 1: that's life. And you got to be able to live

464
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: with knowing you did everything you could do and things

465
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: still didn't work out, and that that's a's a special

466
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: kind of person that can do that and hold themselves accountable.

467
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,400
Speaker 1: And I feel like especially wrestling, that's it's the best

468
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: sport for that because it's just you against somebody else.

469
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 1: And if you don't do the things that you need

470
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: to do, you can't blame anybody, but you you got

471
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 1: to look in the mirror and say, you know what,

472
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: I just didn't get it done today. And whether it's

473
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: for you know, not getting that extra run in or

474
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 1: not getting that extra lift in, or not getting those

475
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,880
Speaker 1: extra refs of shots in or whatever it may be,

476
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: you gotta look in the mirror and say, you know what,

477
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: I didn't do this. The people that look to point

478
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: fingers and blame, we always we tell them that's our

479
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 1: club model. It's no excuses. You're the person that you

480
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 1: got to look at and say, you know what, I

481
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 1: gotta be better. So every time after our kids lose,

482
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: if somebody was just flat out better than them, I'm

483
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: gonna let them know, hey, that kid was just better.

484
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 1: You got to learn from that and get better. And

485
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 1: if the kid wasn't better than us and we lost,

486
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, you either made these mistakes or this

487
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: is this is why you need to be doing this

488
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: in the practice room instead of doing that. So I

489
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 1: try to hold our guys accountable. That's a big part

490
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 1: of what we do with our club is accountability. I

491
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 1: want to make sure if you're doing the right things

492
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,959
Speaker 1: here in the room, we're gonna do whatever we can

493
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: to make sure we're getting getting the WS out on

494
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 1: the map. But if you're not, people may think I'm

495
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 1: a jerk. But if I see you goofing off in

496
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: practice and you get to the competitions and things don't

497
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: work out, I'm gonna throw it back in your face

498
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna hold you accountable. And I don't care

499
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 1: if you're seven or eight or seventeen or eighteen. That's

500
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: just trying to teach these kids at an early age.

501
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: They got to be accountable and they got to learn.

502
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 1: They got to be able to follow rules and follow directions.

503
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: But if they don't, bad things are going to happen.

504
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 1: I love and I can tell you, you you know, as

505
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 1: a parent of someone kids who have wrestled for Willie,

506
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: I know that when my son, Avery in particular, finishes

507
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: a match, you know, he almost always wants me to

508
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 1: centeror Willie wants to see him if I record him

509
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 1: on my phone. It's you know, Avery wants to coach

510
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:11,120
Speaker 1: Willie's feedback. That bond, Man, that bond. How much gratitude

511
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 1: do you get as a coach knowing that a kid

512
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 1: like Avery or someone else, um you know, may reach

513
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 1: out to you and say, coach, thank you or okay, coach,

514
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 1: I did you know you weren't at the match because

515
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,880
Speaker 1: you know, Avery's wrestling at a tournament and hey, coach,

516
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: can you give me feedback? Does it give you a

517
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 1: feeling of like, man, what a privilege it is to

518
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: be able to help this young person. Yeah, it's it's

519
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: it's an amazing feeling. It's it's a great feeling to

520
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: know that you can you've touched someone. And I've had

521
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 1: that with Avery and tons of other kids. And it

522
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 1: helps to get that because there are some kids out

523
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: there that that didn't make it. And it's like, man,

524
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 1: me as a coach and me as just a person.

525
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to win, and I want to help

526
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 1: every kid that I come in contact with. I want

527
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: to see do will And that's not always the case

528
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: in our in our profession coaching wise. And uh, it's

529
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: good to to know that I've helped one or two

530
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 1: or ten, fifteen, one hundred kids. That helps me get

531
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 1: by because I always know there are kids that aren't.

532
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 1: I can't say, so it's definitely a good feeling to

533
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 1: though I can't say with you, I think it's important

534
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 1: that you let people know, like as a club coach,

535
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: as someone who's out there in the trenches coaching the youth,

536
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: trying to make you know, wrestling in the state of

537
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 1: North Carolina, particularly here on the coast in Wilmington, a

538
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: better place and grow the sport. What's some advice that

539
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 1: you would give to parents kids on how they can

540
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: for even if it's not just wrestling, the best way

541
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 1: for them to put themselves into position to be successful

542
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: regardless of what their passion is, like, how should they

543
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: go about and how can parents assist without you know,

544
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: maybe getting in the way. Parents need to be parents.

545
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: I mean that's it's pretty smile. I mean, they gotta

546
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: be supportive. They gotta, you know, because especially in wrestling,

547
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 1: but any other sport. I'm sure there are other tough

548
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 1: sports out there. They gotta be parents. They can't put

549
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: too much pressure on the kid, they can't get on

550
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: them about a bad performance. They got to be there

551
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: to love them, support them, and just let the coaches

552
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: do their job, like like you did. Look like honestly,

553
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 1: I mean because you came into the sport not knowing

554
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: anything about wrestling. So it was like, all right, I'm

555
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: trusting this guy with my kid. I'm gonna be supportive

556
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,400
Speaker 1: of my boy. I'm gonna let my coach coach him,

557
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: coach him hard, coaching smart, and let him do his job.

558
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: And I'm going I'm gonna be there for my board

559
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: regardless of his performances. And I think that's the main

560
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 1: thing that that parents don't need to get caught up

561
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: in the wins and losses. They need to be more

562
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: caught up in the lessons their kids are learning and

563
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 1: just be supportive and make sure their kids are happy

564
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: and enjoying what they're doing as far as the kids. Like,

565
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 1: what if someone wants to come into your room or

566
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 1: try to support a wrestling or any sport for that matter.

567
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: You know they're gonna be uncomfortable, you know, especially a

568
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: wrestling man. I mean, I got my son Rocco in

569
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 1: there now and now he's now, he's fine, But that

570
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 1: first couple of days, what am I na? Whatever? You know,

571
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 1: you get a little nervous or whatever, and I remember

572
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: you put you out a rocket. You're gonna be all right, man,

573
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. And I know that with Rocker

574
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,719
Speaker 1: he's only eight, but you kind of eased them into it,

575
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 1: like you didn't have him go live right away and

576
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 1: all this is so what should these kids? You know,

577
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: if you may have a twelve year old or whatever

578
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: listening to this that wants to try wrestling, what would

579
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: you say to them when they walk in the door.

580
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: Should they expect? And how can they work through that discomfort?

581
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: They gotta listen to the coach, whoever the coach may be.

582
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 1: I mean, more times than not, you got somebody that's

583
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: just starting, they're not going to throw them in the

584
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 1: fire if you got a decent coach. So as long

585
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 1: as they're listening, looking to learn, be coachable, and be tough,

586
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 1: because because some of those positions you get in, they're

587
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: gonna hurt a little bit. I mean, as long as

588
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: you can be tough and make it through those tough times,

589
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 1: they don't always last. Like the same old saying goals,

590
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 1: tough times donna last. Tough people do. And if nothing

591
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 1: is true in wrestling, where if you're in a position

592
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 1: for the first time and it's hurting, I'm pretty sure

593
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:57,959
Speaker 1: by the hundred time you got in that position, they

594
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 1: won't hurt as much. And that's that's my man. Anything.

595
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: They gotta be tough mentally as well as physically, and

596
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: the reward is and I've never been able to feel it,

597
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: but I gotta tell you it's got to be pretty

598
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 1: damn cool being that person standing in the ring or

599
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 1: on the mat getting your hand raised. I don't think

600
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: there's anything that's like I wish I could have done

601
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: it one time, but getting your hand raised in victory.

602
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: It may take you a hundred losses, probably not that many,

603
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: but when you get that hand raise, that's gotta be

604
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: a good feeling. Yeah, man, it's an addictive feeling. That's

605
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 1: what for me as an athlete, it drove me. I

606
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 1: love getting my hand raised, So every time I got

607
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 1: back in the room, I was looking to get better

608
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,640
Speaker 1: so I could get my hand raised again. So yeah,

609
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: it's definitely one of the best feelings I've had as

610
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: a competitor. Coach Willie Hill and Sly Fox Wrestling, I

611
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: better get your hand ready to get raised, because you're

612
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 1: gonna be picking up that baby Nola here in a

613
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: little bit, probably rocking her to sleep for the next

614
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: two hours. But can't thank you enough, my man. I

615
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: love your Sly Fox wrestle coach, Willie. Where can they

616
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: find you? I know you've got the Facebook page and

617
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: all that, but I know you're always putting stuff out. Yeah,

618
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: you can find us on a Sly Fox Wrestling Club

619
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 1: on Facebook. We're on sl Fox Wrestling NC on Instagram,

620
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 1: so yeah, you can follow us on those those two

621
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: social platforms. My man, Well, I appreciate you taking the time.

622
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: You're the man. I love your Slive Fox Wrestling Club.

623
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,239
Speaker 1: Mean a lot to me. Willy Hilton Brow I'll talk

624
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: to you later on. Thanks for coming on. That's Willie Hilton,

625
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: owner an operator of Sly Fox Wrestling Club in Wilmington,

626
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Thanks for listening to the Reform Sports Project podcast.

627
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: I'm Nick Boncourt and our goal is to restore a

628
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 1: healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through

629
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: education and advocacy. For updates, please follow us on Facebook, Twitter,

630
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: and Instagram, or check out our website by searching for

631
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 1: the Reform Sports Project