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Speaker 1: All right, guys, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And

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Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading

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Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Let's go bug

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Speaker 1: a lot, Hold on tight, we got it for you. Here.

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Speaker 1: It is to Strawberry Letter. Thank you nephew. Subject she

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Speaker 1: needs to get her kids. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a

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Speaker 1: fifty year old with three children and I've been married

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Speaker 1: for fourteen years. All of the children are grown and

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Speaker 1: are on their own, so my husband and I have

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Speaker 1: the house to ourselves. I love my alone time with

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Speaker 1: my husband, but his sister is causing some big problems

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Speaker 1: in our marriage. His sister gets on my last nerve.

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Speaker 1: She is an unstable mother and she drops her kids

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Speaker 1: off at my house with no warning. I am tired

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Speaker 1: of dealing with her kids. One day recently, I was

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Speaker 1: walking into my living room and I saw her letting

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Speaker 1: her kids out of a car and she drove off.

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Speaker 1: My husband was at work, so I ended up keeping

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Speaker 1: the kids, which meant feeding them. I called my mother

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Speaker 1: in law and told her to come get the kids.

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Speaker 1: My mother in law is sick of the kids too.

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Speaker 1: There have been many times when she has asked me

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Speaker 1: to keep the kids for a few hours, then will

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Speaker 1: return at three am to pick them up. She just

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Speaker 1: sits in the driveway and blows her horn or shines

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Speaker 1: her light on bright through my front windows. She also

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Speaker 1: has my husband doing crazy stuff like changing her locks

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Speaker 1: at night because she broke up with a boyfriend and

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Speaker 1: didn't want him to be able to get into her house.

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. She is thirty eight years old and the

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Speaker 1: family keeps enabling her. I am not going to keep

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Speaker 1: this up, and I told my husband that enough is enough.

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Speaker 1: I am at war with my husband over her because

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Speaker 1: it's his only sister. I hope and pray I'm not

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Speaker 1: being unreasonable by telling him to choose between me and

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Speaker 1: his sister. I got so angry over his sister and

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Speaker 1: her kids, and I told my husband to go move

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Speaker 1: in with her. I am not a daycare and I

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Speaker 1: want to set boundaries with this woman. How should I

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Speaker 1: handle this this? Well, You're you're up to a good

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Speaker 1: start with setting boundaries with her, with letting her know

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Speaker 1: that you're not a daycare, with getting angry with your husband.

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Speaker 1: You're you're right about the family enabling her. She's been

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Speaker 1: allowed to do this for so long she thinks that

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Speaker 1: it's okay to do this, And you're so right. I mean,

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Speaker 1: everything you're saying your sister in law is dead wrong

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Speaker 1: and because of it, her children, herselves, they're suffering because

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Speaker 1: of this, going from house to house, your house to

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Speaker 1: the grandmother's house, and no telling who else. You know

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Speaker 1: that she does this too, just dropping them off at

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Speaker 1: random houses with random people. This is ridiculous. I mean,

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Speaker 1: she's rude, she's entitled, she needs to be checked. So

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Speaker 1: you're definitely on the right path. You need to learn

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Speaker 1: to say no. That's what happens when you set boundaries.

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Speaker 1: You got to tell her no, all right, even if

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Speaker 1: she does drop the kids off, get right back in

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Speaker 1: your car and you know, follow her or drop them

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Speaker 1: off at her house. Whatever. But you don't want this responsibility,

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Speaker 1: and it's not the kid's fault. I'm sure you know.

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Speaker 1: I feel so sorry for these children and badly for

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Speaker 1: the kids because if she is unstable like you say

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Speaker 1: she is, and she sounds like it that they have to,

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Speaker 1: you know, have a mother like this. This is terrible,

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Speaker 1: but again you're gonna have to to learn how to

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Speaker 1: say no and mean it. And one of the thing

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Speaker 1: your husband is going to have to get on board

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Speaker 1: and support you, not her, You or his wife. She's

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Speaker 1: not his wife. Those are not his kids, they're your relatives.

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Speaker 1: But she needs to deal with her own responsibilities. Steve,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was trying to find the humor in

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Speaker 1: this letter, but I couldn't. Yeah, because I know trifling

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Speaker 1: ass people, and it's you've been married to man fourteen years.

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Speaker 1: Y'all got three children, and all the children are grown,

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Speaker 1: so they out on their own. Y'all got the house

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Speaker 1: to yourself. So you thought you love your lone time

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Speaker 1: with your husband, but you ain't got it no more.

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Speaker 1: But his damned sister, thirty eight years old, unstable mother.

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Speaker 1: She dropping. Now, you didn't say how many kids? Did

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Speaker 1: she say how many kids? She just says kids. But

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Speaker 1: the woman writing the letter has three children of her own,

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Speaker 1: so we know at least two of these kids is

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Speaker 1: getting dropped off. She drops her kids off at my

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Speaker 1: house with no warning. No, I'm tired of dealing with

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Speaker 1: her kids. Well, you're really tired of dealing with the

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Speaker 1: kids like this way. You know one day recently you

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Speaker 1: walked into your living room and you saw her letting

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Speaker 1: her kids out the car and she drove off your

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Speaker 1: husband at work. Hitty day kids. Cause now I feel

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Speaker 1: sorry for the kids, like surely say, because they got

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Speaker 1: to walk up on the horse on the porch and

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Speaker 1: they know this health a post at least knock on

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Speaker 1: the door, tell them we're coming. But the kids got

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Speaker 1: to go in the house. They don't know what else

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Speaker 1: to do. I don't know what to tell you, man,

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Speaker 1: There is no humor in this letter, So let me

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Speaker 1: just quit trying to look forward this thing that got

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Speaker 1: on your last nerve. And I ain't mad at you.

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Speaker 1: So your husband's at work, she drops them off. You

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Speaker 1: ended up keeping the kids. Now you got to feed

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Speaker 1: them because you're decent person. Then you call your mother

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Speaker 1: in law and you told her to come get the kids.

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Speaker 1: The mother laws sick of the kids too. Damn. Now

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Speaker 1: I feel really bad for these kids because they get

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Speaker 1: shoveled off from house to house and they knowing everybody

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Speaker 1: mad when they see them. But the kids ain't doing nothing.

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Speaker 1: They just to result and having a trifling mama, and

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Speaker 1: I feel bad for these kids. Man, listen, Dad, what dad?

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Speaker 1: She never mentioned that now she she got a boyfriend

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Speaker 1: that you know, the husband had to change the locks

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Speaker 1: at her house, Yill, because her boyfriend in the hood

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Speaker 1: was breaking up. You gotta change locks because he coming in.

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Speaker 1: There's been many times when she asked, she has asked

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Speaker 1: me to keep the kids for a few hours and

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Speaker 1: then we'll return at three am to pick them up.

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Speaker 1: Who wakes the babies up in the middle of the

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Speaker 1: damn night? Right? She trifling on a whole lot of levels.

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Speaker 1: I think I got something that for you. I got

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Speaker 1: all right, Well, hold on, hold on for part two,

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Speaker 1: Steve Um. We'll have part two of your response coming

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Speaker 1: up at twenty three after the hour. Today's subject she

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Speaker 1: needs to get her kids. We'll be back right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening, all right, Steve. Let's go. Let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters subject she needs to get her kids. Lady

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Speaker 1: fifty years old, got three kids, they grown, they moved

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Speaker 1: out the house. Her and her husband got the house

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Speaker 1: all Today's self. She loves her lone time with her man.

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Speaker 1: She only got one problem. Her man's system. Unstable mother

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Speaker 1: drops the kids off without any warning, just drops them off.

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Speaker 1: She tired of this. One day she was walking in

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Speaker 1: the living room and saw her pull up and just

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Speaker 1: let the kids out and then drove off. I'll be there. Now.

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Speaker 1: You gotta be kind to the kids, because it ain't

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Speaker 1: the kids fault. But now you gotta take cam. You

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Speaker 1: gotta feed them. You just gonna sit down and just

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Speaker 1: watch the TV with your feet off. Now you're feeding kids.

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Speaker 1: Then you can't count the time she come by and

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Speaker 1: tell you watching kids for a few hours and then

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Speaker 1: return at three am in the morning and pick them up.

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Speaker 1: Now hit a trifling part. This is how trifling this

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Speaker 1: health is. She comes and just sits in the driveway

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Speaker 1: and blows her horn or shines her lights on bright

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Speaker 1: through my front windows. Boy boy, if that ain't ignorant,

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Speaker 1: you tell me. But if you want to really keep

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Speaker 1: your funking, here we go. I got something for you

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Speaker 1: at the end. Though, she also has my husband doing

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Speaker 1: crazy stuff like changing her locks at night because she

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Speaker 1: broke up with a boyfriend didn't want him be able

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Speaker 1: to get into her house. Stephen Sherley, she's thirty eight

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Speaker 1: years old. The family keeps enabling her. I ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: keep up with this. I told my husband that enough

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Speaker 1: is enough. I'm at war with my husband over her

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Speaker 1: because it's his only sister. I understand that. I hope

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Speaker 1: and pray I'm not being unreasonable. You're not by telling

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Speaker 1: them to choose between me and his sister. Okay, that NA,

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Speaker 1: that that went a little far, But I understand because

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Speaker 1: you're mad. I got so angry over his sister and

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Speaker 1: her kids that I told my husband to go move

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Speaker 1: in with them. Well, since he liked taking care of

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Speaker 1: the kids so much, you know, I think it's a

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Speaker 1: good idea. Since he likes taking care of kids that much,

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Speaker 1: then it's a good idea that he just moves on

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Speaker 1: end with him. That's what I think. But I told

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Speaker 1: my husband, and I'm not at daycare and I want

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Speaker 1: to set boundaries for this woman. How sit out handle this? Well,

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Speaker 1: I didn't read this latter and business nice. Here's the

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Speaker 1: only solution I got. Every you tell her this one

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Speaker 1: has to happen every time she dropped them kids off

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Speaker 1: on your ass. You are to go by her house

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Speaker 1: and get on her ass. What does that mean, Steve?

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Speaker 1: Break it down. If she dropped the kids off on

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Speaker 1: your ass, you ought to go over there and be

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Speaker 1: on her. What you got whoop o ass one time? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I think she really just got to whoop our ass

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Speaker 1: one time. I think we're down to that. She trifling.

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Speaker 1: Some people need a good slapping and sit her down

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Speaker 1: and tell her, you know what, you are really abusive

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Speaker 1: to your children and you ought to be ashamed of

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Speaker 1: yourself and you really these kids deserve better. You put

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Speaker 1: them in uncompromising positions, passing them off like they potato chips.

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Speaker 1: These kids know that they're being drug around and passed off.

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Speaker 1: They know their mama unstable and ain't nobody told you?

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Speaker 1: But you are trifling ass, mama, and you need to

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Speaker 1: get your sugar hunted iced tea together for I slapped

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Speaker 1: the sugar hunted iced tea. Paul pause. I think that's

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Speaker 1: what has to happen because if the families in there,

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Speaker 1: he's enable because it's his only system, so he trying

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Speaker 1: to help out. It's his baby system. I know that

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Speaker 1: parameters to be pulling on it. Yeah, the mother is

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Speaker 1: already sick, IM so y'all got to do something, man,

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Speaker 1: y'all cass can't keep doing it like this, right, she

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Speaker 1: needs to be shopping her hands and all. I see,

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Speaker 1: that's all. That's all I mean. Really, I just don't man,

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Speaker 1: this ain't about no therapy or nothing. She needs somebody

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Speaker 1: to get her undivided damn attention. Yeah, and nothing gets

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Speaker 1: your attention like a hand for immediately everyone I have

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Speaker 1: got from my mama from some dudes, every last one

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Speaker 1: of them. Yes, that's what I think you should do.

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Speaker 1: And just remind her every time you dropped them off

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Speaker 1: on my ass, I'm gonna be back over here on

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Speaker 1: your ass. Yeah, so what were you doing around? Hand?

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Speaker 1: Were exchanging asses? But what about the changing ass? But

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Speaker 1: hold up though, she brings the kids unannounced, so the

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Speaker 1: husband he like, wow, he called off? God too late too,

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Speaker 1: And you got the call before you bring these kids

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Speaker 1: over and ask make sure we ain't got nothing to do.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I just be thinking. And then she do

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Speaker 1: it again. She did. You had already said, she just

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Speaker 1: pull up and let them out and drive off. This

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Speaker 1: chick knows she trifling and she doing it on purpose.

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Speaker 1: It's I don't know, it's a lot to do because dude,

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Speaker 1: she dropped them off while he was at work, yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh you you shouldn't have been in the window. She

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Speaker 1: saw you shut your doors, pull your blights down, act

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Speaker 1: like you all right, well listen, post your comments FM

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and she copy. And don't forget to check

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Speaker 1: out the Subbury Letter podcast on demand now coming up

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Speaker 1: a forty six after the hour you're listening to this

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Speaker 1: Dave Harvey Morning Show