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Speaker 1: Alright, alright, alright, alright, check one to one to This

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Speaker 1: is Michael Rapp Report, and you are now listening to

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Speaker 1: the I Am Rappaport Podcast. What a fucking weekend? What

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Speaker 1: a week What a weekend. I just got back to

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Speaker 1: sunny Los Angeles. I have been in New York City

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Speaker 1: for the past week, preparing and participating in the NBA

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Speaker 1: All Star Weekend in New York City. If you're not

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Speaker 1: a basketball fan, you could still listen to this podcast

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Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell you about all in every fucking

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Speaker 1: endeavor that I did this weekend, the parties, the people,

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Speaker 1: the celebrities, the freezing cold that bit me in the face.

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Speaker 1: This is the Iron Wrapper War Podcast. We're gonna get

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Speaker 1: into it right now, The I Am Rappaport Stereotario Podcast

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Speaker 1: Live Get Down with Rapp Report. Yes I am I'm

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Speaker 1: a Rapperport. Yes I am a Rapperport. Yes I am

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Speaker 1: a Rapperport. Yes I am at a tune in I

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Speaker 1: Am rapp Report dot Com because every single podcast, you know,

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Speaker 1: we drops fums. I've seen him on set a season

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Speaker 1: vet with True Town, catch him on his way to

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Speaker 1: course fit rocking the New balance Here, it's men to

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Speaker 1: do the drag because you know I round the leak.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just waiting for the Robert the Neural line

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Speaker 1: of the week rightface the champions host the bagel, cream,

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Speaker 1: cheese and lock. This is I am Rapp report. The

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Speaker 1: show never stopped. You might catch the Mountain public stretching

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Speaker 1: his knee. But if you don't listen to the show, yo,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna pleading. We're gonna please import podcast. All right, So,

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Speaker 1: as everybody in the world already knows, last week, I

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Speaker 1: participated in the NBA Sprite Celebrity All Star Game live

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Speaker 1: from Madison Square fuck Garden. And if you don't know

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Speaker 1: the history, I am the former m v P winner

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Speaker 1: I think it was two thousand and ten or two

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Speaker 1: thousand and eleven, and then I am also at three

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Speaker 1: Point Shootout winner, the only person in the history of

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Speaker 1: the Celebrity All Star Game to win both contests have

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Speaker 1: been both awards. Kevin Hart is now a four time

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Speaker 1: m v P, but he has never won the three

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Speaker 1: point Shootout. I have won that and I won the

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Speaker 1: m v P. So Kevin Hart, I'm fucking unimpressed with

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Speaker 1: the fact that you have won the m v P

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Speaker 1: four times in a row. So let me just walk

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Speaker 1: you through the weekend. So Thursday, I settled down in

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Speaker 1: New York and I went to Madison School Garden to

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Speaker 1: pick up my gear. And when I was picking up

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Speaker 1: my gear and uniform, they were they were rehearsing. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a produced show. They were rehearsingly all

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Speaker 1: a seame. So the Jersey Boys were performing. They were

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Speaker 1: doing the camera a ship that And I walk out

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Speaker 1: onto the court of Madison Square Garden and there's no

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Speaker 1: one out there. So I'm like, holy sh it. So

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Speaker 1: I get up some shots. I practice practice, practice, practice,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm getting the jitterbugs out. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be great for the game because Friday nights the game,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be nervous. But now that I'm shooting on

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Speaker 1: Madison Square Garden court for the first time, I'll be

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Speaker 1: ready to go. Now, I did suffer This is not

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Speaker 1: an excuse, But if I was gonna make an excuse,

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Speaker 1: this would be my excuse. I did suffer an injury

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Speaker 1: a week before with my rigorous training. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what the funk it was. The doctors were not able

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Speaker 1: to diagnosis. There was some sort of lingering cramp thing

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Speaker 1: in the back of my knee. I was treating it.

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Speaker 1: I am not going to say that I took some

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Speaker 1: p E D s, But I'm also not gonna say

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Speaker 1: that I didn't take any p E D s. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep it really innocuous. That's right. I

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Speaker 1: just said innocuous. But I was fucking hampering from this injury, sore,

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Speaker 1: very very very sore, twenty four hours a day. And

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Speaker 1: when I would run, when I would jump, if you

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Speaker 1: could call at that, it would fucking hurt. So Friday

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Speaker 1: is the big game. I get to the arena early,

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Speaker 1: four hours early, way before anybody else that was participating

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Speaker 1: in the game got to Madison Square Garden, and I

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Speaker 1: found out that my team consisted of Shny Schimmel, who

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Speaker 1: is a w NBA player. She's a fucking badass. If

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Speaker 1: you don't know who Shody Shimmel is, look her up.

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Speaker 1: She's fucking dope. She's a bad fucking ass. She's tough,

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Speaker 1: she could shoot, she could play. She wanna you know.

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Speaker 1: Rookie of the Year last year in the w n

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Speaker 1: b A, I had Tina Thompson, Kevin Hart, I had

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Speaker 1: this dude, Blake Leaper. Blake Leaper is a Olympic athlete.

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Speaker 1: He is the fastest man with no legs. Okay, they

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Speaker 1: call him fucking you know, like he's like blade runner,

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Speaker 1: like the fucking Oscar pisterious guy who bugged out. This

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Speaker 1: dude is the American representative the par Paraplegic Olympics. And

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Speaker 1: he broke that record. And I said to him, I said,

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Speaker 1: you know, this is fucking great, Blake, because you are

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Speaker 1: considered the fastest man with no legs and I am

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Speaker 1: considered one of the slowest people were two legs. He

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Speaker 1: fucking loved that. This fucking guy was probably one of

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Speaker 1: the most special, coolest people I met the whole weekend,

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Speaker 1: and I met all kinds of people. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: inside later. So he was on the team. Kristen Ledlow

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Speaker 1: was on the team. Fucking Carmelo Anthony was the coach.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is this is This team was stacked.

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Speaker 1: The other team, of course, had Monique Davis, some big

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Speaker 1: motherfucker from Arcade Fire. When Butler was his fucking name,

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Speaker 1: Nobody I didn't know who the funk he was, but

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Speaker 1: but he was a big, big motherfucker and he was

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Speaker 1: a problem in the post. Okay, ansel el Court, actor

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Speaker 1: from uh you know all kinds of ship. Really cool

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Speaker 1: dude tall you know you know the fault in our

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Speaker 1: Star Stars acting's gonna be big fucking time. He's already

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Speaker 1: big time. It's already fucking big time. He's super cool.

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Speaker 1: Nice dude again. Chadwick Boseman, who was on my team,

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Speaker 1: Nick Cannon was on the other team, Fucking Robert Pea,

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Speaker 1: this young dude who owns the fucking Memphis Grizzlies, Shony Schimmel,

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Speaker 1: Skyler Diggins was on the other team, Skylar Diggins, and

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Speaker 1: my man Anthony Anderson. So we get out there, I'm hampered.

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Speaker 1: I'm already fucking hampered before the game starts. With my guy,

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Speaker 1: my guy bar who's the trainer for the Knicks. He

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Speaker 1: did some ship to me before and he stretched me

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Speaker 1: out on the Carmelo Anthony table. Okay. He said, you

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Speaker 1: are being stretched out and and and worked out on

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Speaker 1: the Carmelo Anthony table. I said, well, when Carmelo comes

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Speaker 1: back to play, you tell him that it's now the

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Speaker 1: fucking Michael Rappaport table. Okay. So I was in the

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Speaker 1: training room. They were working on me. They were fucking

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Speaker 1: massaging me, stretching me, putting ointments on me. I was

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Speaker 1: eating beat juice shots. Okay, if you read beat Juice Shots,

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Speaker 1: you drink that ship, it's supposed to give you superpowers,

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Speaker 1: all right. So twenty thousand motherfucking people showed up to

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Speaker 1: watch this game. Twenty thousand fucking people paid to watch

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Speaker 1: the celebrity All Star game. Can you believe that? So

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Speaker 1: the game starts, there's twenty thousand motherfucker's in the fucking

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Speaker 1: Madison Square and sold out. You can't. You can't buy

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Speaker 1: a ticket. You could buy tickets, like you know, they

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Speaker 1: were being scalped, if you could believe this is true. Ship,

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Speaker 1: I was like, there's I said, can't I just get

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Speaker 1: a batch of fifty tickets and I'll give them away

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Speaker 1: to feel like seat fillers. I have friends, cousins, friends,

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Speaker 1: And no, there's no more tickets where the tickets they're

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Speaker 1: sold out. They're sold out. I can't. I was shot

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Speaker 1: by that. So anyway, so the game starts, and and

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Speaker 1: and the first thing that you realize when you're playing

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Speaker 1: in one of these celebrity games in a professional arena

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Speaker 1: is the length of the fucking court. The court is

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Speaker 1: ninety four ft of loving, ninety four ft of pain.

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Speaker 1: I was playing basketball preparing at the y m c

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Speaker 1: A and the j m c C, which is the

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Speaker 1: fucking Jewish y m c A. Okay, the court is

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Speaker 1: probably seventy five ft eighty at the most. Those extra

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Speaker 1: twenty fifteen feet there there. It's no fucking joke. It's

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Speaker 1: no fucking joke. Okay. And yes, I told you guys

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Speaker 1: before the game. I said this. I don't need John

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Speaker 1: Berry who who who's a former NBA player, And I

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Speaker 1: don't need John Barry, who's the who's doing the uh

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Speaker 1: the play by play of the game, to comment on

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Speaker 1: the way I'm running. I told you guys before the

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Speaker 1: game started. I told you guys many times, even when

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Speaker 1: I wasn't talking about the celebrity also game, I told

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Speaker 1: you when I run, when Michael Rappaport runs, Yes, I

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Speaker 1: talked about myself in the third party. When I run,

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Speaker 1: it does look like I have ship my pants. I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. I've come to terms with it.

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Speaker 1: I've tried to fight it my whole life. Nothing I

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Speaker 1: can do with it, Okay. People have their their their

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Speaker 1: blessings and their curses. People have their strong points and

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Speaker 1: they're not stroll strong points. And and the way I

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Speaker 1: run and the speed at which I run is not

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Speaker 1: a strong point. Okay, you want to talk about loafs,

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Speaker 1: you want to have loaf talk. That's a strong point

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Speaker 1: for me. Okay. The way I run, yes, I run

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Speaker 1: like I have a fucking pile of ship like a

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Speaker 1: steamer in my shorts. Okay, and I wear I was

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Speaker 1: wearing compression shorts, so it looks like I'm running with

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Speaker 1: a fucking flattened pile of ship in my pants. I

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Speaker 1: don't care, but I don't need John fucking Barry, Rick

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Speaker 1: Barry's son, former embread player, very acclaimed NBA player, long

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Speaker 1: career rapp report looks like he's this rapp report looks

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Speaker 1: like he can't say he looks like he has a

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Speaker 1: pile of ship in his pants because it's ESPN. You

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Speaker 1: can't say that. But I know he wanted to say that.

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Speaker 1: But John Barry's my man. He he was the he

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Speaker 1: was the one who pushed for me to get the

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Speaker 1: m v P in two thousand and ten or eleven,

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Speaker 1: whatever the funk that was. But that's in the past.

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Speaker 1: That's in the fucking past. So the game starts. I am.

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Speaker 1: There's a few sequences where it's up and down, up

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Speaker 1: and down. Okay, and we're two minutes in game. The

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Speaker 1: score is four to two. I get the ball for

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Speaker 1: the first time, because again, these fucking guys, Kevin Hart,

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Speaker 1: I love you, you're my man, fifty grand Common, I

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Speaker 1: fucking love you, you're my man. I love these dudes.

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Speaker 1: These fucking guys, they don't pass the fucking rock. They

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Speaker 1: don't like to pass the fucking rock. They are going

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Speaker 1: at the All Star Game the way they should like

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Speaker 1: it's an All Star game. But I'm not I'm not

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Speaker 1: a point guard. I'm not a ball handler. I like

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Speaker 1: the ball on the wing and I like the ball

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Speaker 1: in the post. All right, So if you're not a

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Speaker 1: ball handler, just like in the in the NBA All

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Speaker 1: Star Game, the guards usually Russell Westbrook, Stefan Curry, people

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Speaker 1: who have the ball in their hand, they're usually the

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Speaker 1: ones who win m v P. That's just the facts.

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Speaker 1: In an All Star game, and this is a fucking

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Speaker 1: celebrity Allstar game. So I get the ball first time

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Speaker 1: I started the game. Of course, of course, because people

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Speaker 1: know what I could bring to the table. I get

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Speaker 1: the ball. First time somebody passed me the ball, Thank god.

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Speaker 1: I was like, funk this, I'm shooting. I. I go

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Speaker 1: to the basket to left. Nick Cannon, another good dude

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Speaker 1: friend of mine, love him, respect him. He fucking body

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Speaker 1: checks me. Okay, I I shoot the shot. It goes

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Speaker 1: off the glass, rolls off the rim, and I'm expecting

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Speaker 1: it to be the whistlebe blone because this motherfucker just

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Speaker 1: like he didn't even found me. He just like ran

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Speaker 1: into me. And I could take hard foul. I'm on

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Speaker 1: that no blood, no foul ship. But there's two referees,

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Speaker 1: three referees who I tried to pay off before the game.

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Speaker 1: I went to half court. I said, Yo, listen, guys,

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Speaker 1: this is a celebrity All Star game. I'm one of

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Speaker 1: the only guy as you represent New York City. Let's

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Speaker 1: do the right thing. They're like, hey, Mike, these are

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Speaker 1: NBA refs or almost Samba refs. They know me, They cool,

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Speaker 1: we're fans. Okay, so what am I? Maybe I dropped

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Speaker 1: a couple of fifty dollar bills. Maybe you pick it

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Speaker 1: up and we get the fucking we get things going. No,

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Speaker 1: we can't do that. I said, all right, we'll just

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Speaker 1: remember I made the offer. Okay, so maybe you don't

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Speaker 1: take the fifty dollar bill, but just remember I make

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Speaker 1: the offer. So I get hammered by Nick Cannon. It's

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Speaker 1: on the videotape and I say, no whistle and I

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Speaker 1: say to the ref on live TV, God damn, make

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Speaker 1: the fucking call. And at that point I realized, oh shit,

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Speaker 1: I might have just said that on live television during

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Speaker 1: a celebrity All Star game. And the ref goes, blows

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Speaker 1: the whistle and they call it technical and I go,

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Speaker 1: what the funk man, you gotta make the fucking call. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is real, ship, this really happened. I got a

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Speaker 1: technical foul within the first four minutes of a celebrity

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Speaker 1: All Star game. The score was four to fucking two.

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Speaker 1: Now I was really pissed that they didn't make the call.

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Speaker 1: I'm out of my mind. Okay, I am out of

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Speaker 1: my mind. I have a problem, okay. And then Chris

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Speaker 1: Mullen goes he sees my face. Chris Mullen, who I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't say. He's a friend of mine. We've never hung out.

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Speaker 1: I see him at these events. I love Chris Mullen.

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Speaker 1: I've always loved Chris Mullen. He's a good dude. He's

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Speaker 1: got a very good sense of humor. He's a New

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Speaker 1: York dude. He's a Brooklyn guy. We get each other.

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Speaker 1: He's older than me. I really have true fucking respect

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Speaker 1: for Chris Mallen. He goes, Yo, Mike, cool out, and

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Speaker 1: I go, WHOA, yeah, right, yeah, of course, Chris Mullen.

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Speaker 1: I'm out of my fucking mind. I just got a

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Speaker 1: technical during the celebrity game. And then Alan Houston, who's

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Speaker 1: like one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most appropriate, just

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Speaker 1: gentlemen that I ever played in the NBA. BE hard

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Speaker 1: pressed to find somebody to say anything about. Alan Euston

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Speaker 1: former Nick had to retire early because the injuries. He says, Yo, Mike,

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Speaker 1: calm down. You only get more more of those, meaning

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Speaker 1: you only get one more tech than they're gonna throw

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Speaker 1: you out of the Celebrity All Star Game. That's what

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Speaker 1: the fuss gonna happen. So I go, fuck, you're right,

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Speaker 1: you're right, You're right, you're right. I calmed down. I

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Speaker 1: fucking snap out of it. Okay, So the game proceeds

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Speaker 1: to play on. Now what I did do. What I

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Speaker 1: did do well is I was sitting smashing, crushing picks

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Speaker 1: on Skylar Diggins, who's probably considered the prettiest or one

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Speaker 1: of the most prettiest female athletes, definitely one of the

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Speaker 1: most prettiest, sexiest female athletes in the w n B

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Speaker 1: A Shony Shimba was taking it and I was setting

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Speaker 1: blasting picks. Nobody was calling picks. If you don't know basketball,

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Speaker 1: it's like when you set like like you block them

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Speaker 1: and and and basketball one on one is if somebody's

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Speaker 1: setting a pick, you say pick picks so the person doesn't.

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Speaker 1: One time, I fucking she ran right into me. But

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Speaker 1: this fucking lady is a fucking fine tuned machine. She

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Speaker 1: took the fucking pick and kept going. I'm thinking she's

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Speaker 1: gonna be like, Yo, don't set that fucking pick so hard.

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Speaker 1: It's the celebrity. It's nothing to her. I'm talking about

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Speaker 1: fucking Charles Oakley would have been fucking proud of this

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Speaker 1: fucking pick. Okay, two or three of those boom. Then

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Speaker 1: late in the first quarter, who the funk passed me

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Speaker 1: the ball? I think it was Sohny Schimmel. She passed

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Speaker 1: me the fucking ball in the corner. Second clock runs out.

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Speaker 1: Fuck that I knew the second clock ran out. I'm

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Speaker 1: in the corner. I'm gonna get it. I'm at the

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Speaker 1: NBA three point line. I bury the three. I bury

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Speaker 1: the fucking three. Am I the only one who's going crazy? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Because everybody else knows the whistle blue because the second

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Speaker 1: clock ran out. But I make the fucking three. I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling good. I'm like, okay, I got the jitter bugs out.

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Speaker 1: I missed my first shot, made this fucking three. I'm exhausted.

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Speaker 1: I say the Skylar Diggins, what the fun? Skylar Diggins?

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Speaker 1: The coling twenty four seconds it's a celebrity All Star game,

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Speaker 1: and she says, what the funk? Michael Rapp report, Why

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Speaker 1: are you getting technical fouls in the celebrity All Star Game?

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Speaker 1: But um bum, I'm here all week, folks. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: that's about the first quarter of the game. I took

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Speaker 1: a break now because I was dealing with this fucking injury.

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Speaker 1: I I was told do not, do not, do not,

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Speaker 1: do not get stiff on the bench. So I was stretching.

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Speaker 1: I'm a great stretcher. The one fucking thing that I

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Speaker 1: was the best at All Star Weekend is stretching. Okay,

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Speaker 1: even in the locker room Chris Mullen Common They were like, yo,

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Speaker 1: you're fucking flexible, and I was like, yeah, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I am fucking flexible, Chris Mullen. Okay, some people jump

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Speaker 1: the highest, some people run the fastest. Some people are

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Speaker 1: the strongest. Some people are the best shooters. Some people

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Speaker 1: are the best passers. Some people are the best dunkers.

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Speaker 1: I could fucking put my my fucking legs above my head. Okay,

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Speaker 1: everybody has their strong suits, all right, just like I

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Speaker 1: said earlier. Alright, so I sit down on the bench.

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Speaker 1: The game's going well. We have this dude, Blake Leaper again,

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Speaker 1: who who's considered the He's not considered. He is the

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Speaker 1: fastest man with no legs' is a fucking beast, such

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Speaker 1: a sweet kid. Look him up, Blake Leaper l E

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Speaker 1: E p e R fucking Olympic medalist. He's a fucking beast.

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Speaker 1: He's so fucking fast, just such a good dude. He's

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Speaker 1: out there playing his fucking ass off. Carmelo Anthony's our coach.

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Speaker 1: But this fucking guy who comes off the bench for

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Speaker 1: the other team, which is being coached by Mike Golic

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Speaker 1: from Mike and Mike. Mike Greenberg is coaching my team,

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Speaker 1: and Carmelo's our assistants coach, and fucking Spike Lee's the

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Speaker 1: assistant coach of the other team. This guy win Butler.

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Speaker 1: Look him up. He's a fucking animal. He's Canadian. He

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Speaker 1: I guarantee you heighs about two fifty pounds. He's bigger

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Speaker 1: than me. He's about six fucking four. Again, he was

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Speaker 1: wearing a headband, he had long hair. He looks like

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Speaker 1: a big fucking ship. You don't think he's gonna be

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Speaker 1: effective as a basketball player, but he knew his strength.

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Speaker 1: He goes to the left. He's big. He was in

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Speaker 1: the post. And I said to Carmelo, I said, because

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Speaker 1: we couldn't guard him, real fucking talk, because you don't know,

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Speaker 1: you don't scout this ship out. Real fucking talk. We

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Speaker 1: could not guard this motherfucker. Uh you know, uh, Chadwick

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Speaker 1: Boseman was giving him a try, Common was giving him.

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Speaker 1: He was a fucking beast. And I said, you know what,

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Speaker 1: Mike Mike Greenberg put me in there. And Carmelo's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: go in there and put that wood on him. I said, yeah, Carmelo,

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm getting excited like Carmelos amping me up,

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Speaker 1: like yeah, I'm gonna put that motherfucking would on him,

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Speaker 1: like the forearm. I wanna fucking not like you know,

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Speaker 1: fuck him, you know, like lay that wood or lay

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00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 1: that pipe like you know, push him around like funk

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Speaker 1: that I get in the game. First thing I do

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Speaker 1: is put my fucking forearm right in his fucking chest.

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Speaker 1: You know what he does, He pushes it down. Never

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Speaker 1: a good sign, which meant I'm not pussy micro report.

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Speaker 1: I'm two pounds, I'm committing. I'm Canadian and I could

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Speaker 1: probably I probably played hockey. I'm ready to fight out here.

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Speaker 1: He laughed when I forearmed him. This fucking guy was

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Speaker 1: a beast. Not a great player again, but just big

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Speaker 1: lumbering motherfuck with big legs like he chops trees. It's

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Speaker 1: a big fucking guy. But he didn't score on me.

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Speaker 1: He didn't score on me. All right, Monai Davis, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you what it's like with playing against Money Davis.

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Speaker 1: All right, Money Davis is ice cold. All right. I

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Speaker 1: saw her face when we came out for the jump.

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Speaker 1: All she wasn't like, oh ship, there's Kevin Hard, Oh ship,

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Speaker 1: there's common Oh ship, there's Anthony Anderson. Money Davis is

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Speaker 1: a real athlete. She wasn't impressed with anybody. I don't

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Speaker 1: think she had a fucking clue who I was. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I threatened her. I put it out there on the

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Speaker 1: last podcast, I'll take you out, Money Davis. She either

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Speaker 1: she knew who I was and was giving me like

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Speaker 1: the ice girl, or I she just didn't give a fuck.

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00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 1: She was out there to play and she was bringing

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Speaker 1: the fucking noise to Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart was playing

361
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Speaker 1: well too, but Money Davis spun on her and it

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Speaker 1: was it was real and she's just ice cold. That

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00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 1: was the thing I was most impressed with her is

364
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Speaker 1: that she just wasn't like it wasn't like a celebrity

365
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Speaker 1: All Star game. To her, it was a game. She

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Speaker 1: was not impressed with any of the fucking the fanfare,

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Speaker 1: the hoop la for the court, the fucking cameras. She

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Speaker 1: wasn't fucking around. So she's a real fucking talent. She's

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Speaker 1: the real deal. I wish her the best of luck.

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00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 1: I did punch your ship, mo Day Davis. I blocked

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Speaker 1: your ship out of bounds in the second half. That happened.

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Speaker 1: It's on video fucking tape, Okay. I went up another time.

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Speaker 1: I tried to block his ship. I almost landed on

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Speaker 1: you and Kevin Hart. How to fucking destroyed both of

375
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 1: you if that happened. Thank god it didn't happen. But Money, Davis,

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Speaker 1: you get nothing but respect. You're You're such a sweet,

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Speaker 1: sweet girl, cool, low key, nice family and and she

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Speaker 1: was great. She was great. It was great to see

379
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 1: her out there, was great to meet her. It's great

380
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,880
Speaker 1: to play where there was another one of the people

381
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Speaker 1: who I was really excited to meet. She was great.

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00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:47,120
Speaker 1: So I got back in the game. Second quarter. It's

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Speaker 1: a tight game. It's probably the best celebrity All Star

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Speaker 1: game that's ever been played because there was a lot

385
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 1: of people that had played in it before, like Kevin Hart, Common,

386
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: Anthony Anderson, myself, the girls. You know that we're out there,

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Speaker 1: the NBA, the w m A girls. They were keeping

388
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 1: it competitive. Their team was ahead. It was because of

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00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 1: this fucking win. Butler, guy, I gotta fucking I don't

390
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 1: know how I got the ball. I got the ball again,

391
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: got the ball again by the NBA three point line.

392
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Speaker 1: Now here's what happened. I shot an air ball. It

393
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 1: happens to the best of them. But I'm gonna explain

394
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: to you why. While I was shooting the ball, I

395
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 1: caught the fact that Chris Mullen was guarding me, and

396
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Speaker 1: I swear to God, I had an ad a bout

397
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Speaker 1: of experience. While I was shooting, I was like, oh, ship,

398
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Speaker 1: Chris Mullen is guarding me in Madison Square Garden, where

399
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,399
Speaker 1: he played college ball sensationally for St. John's during the

400
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 1: Big East era, the Golden era of the Big East Tournament.

401
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 1: And I'm about to shoot the ball, and I'm about

402
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 1: to make a shot with Chris Mullen sort of guarding me.

403
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: He's about five feet away, so it's sort of guarding me.

404
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: But that went through my head and I shot a

405
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:52,959
Speaker 1: It wasn't a brick. It was fucking short, okay. And

406
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 1: I was like, oh fuck, because I had said to

407
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: myself before they don't shoot any NBA threes. Is out

408
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 1: of your fucking range. So not only did I I

409
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: shooting NBA three, but I stepped back into it. Do

410
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: you understand I could have shot it from from a

411
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 1: closer distance, but I stepped back in it because I

412
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: had just buried one, even though it was after the

413
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 1: second clock five minutes ago. Fucking airball. So the play

414
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 1: is continue to running up and down the fucking court.

415
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: That's one of the most annoying things about basketball is

416
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: the running. I I just realized that, like fun, run

417
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: up here, they missed the layup, Run back there, and

418
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: make a layup, run back there and turnover, run back.

419
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 1: Fuck this ship. I am dying. There was one secrets

420
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 1: whereas five sprints back and forth, and I ran all

421
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 1: the way and I was like, fuck this ship, man,

422
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 1: fuck it, Fuck this ship. Okay, So halftime comes up,

423
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 1: we go into the locker room. Somebody's performing in a halftime.

424
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: Motherfucker's are in the halftime. People are fucking breathing hard. Okay,

425
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 1: people are stretching. Alan Houston he wasn't sweating at all. Okay.

426
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: Former former Nick Allen's this is like a fucking like

427
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: a walk in a spring day essential park. Kristin Ledlow.

428
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 1: I said, Kristen Ladlow, it's fucking no joke out there.

429
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: She said, no, Mike, it is no fucking joke out there. Okay,

430
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 1: this dude, this Olympic athlete who I told you about,

431
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,199
Speaker 1: Uh Leaper, this is a joke to him, Blake Leaper,

432
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: these are this guy's a fucking Paralympic gold medalist. This

433
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: is nothing to him. But for me, I'm dying. Kevin

434
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: Hart's fucking stretching. People are fucking you know, I wanted

435
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 1: an oxygen shot. They didn't supply me with one, and uh,

436
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,959
Speaker 1: you know that's what was going on in the locker room.

437
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 1: You know, I took pictures Shny Shimmell was a fucking

438
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 1: beast Tina where everybody's taking selfies. You know, it's like

439
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 1: a joke to a lot of people. I told com

440
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 1: and I said, listen, you got crossed up by Justin

441
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 1: Bieber in the game in two thousand and twelve. It's

442
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: on video. I told him this. I told him to

443
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 1: his face. I said, you got crossed up by him.

444
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 1: You do not want to get crossed up by Moni Davis, okay,

445
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,199
Speaker 1: because if you get crossed up by Justin Bieber and

446
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: then crossed up by Moni Davis, you'll be the first

447
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 1: participant of the NBA All Star Game to get stuff

448
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: by two fourteen year old girls. But I'm bum I'm

449
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 1: here all week, folks. You get it crossed up by

450
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: Justin Bieber, crossed up by Money Davis, fourteen year old girls. Anyway,

451
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 1: Oh that was a good one. I actually said that

452
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,640
Speaker 1: locker room went crazy. They laughed that that's a real line,

453
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: I said, I I'm quoting myself. So anyway, game continues.

454
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 1: Made a couple of good passes, made a couple of turnovers,

455
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 1: made one out of two free throws. I just I was,

456
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: I was fucking I was just wasn't ready man for

457
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: that court. I I you know, it's not like in

458
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: the in the y. It's not like when you're playing

459
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 1: three on three that court and those w I was

460
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: setting smashing more smashing picks on Skyler Diggins. I gotta

461
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: tell you, I have so much respect for these w

462
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 1: NBA players. When you're out there. They're tough, they're fierce competitors.

463
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: They're in fucking shape. They could shoot like a motherfucker.

464
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: They play properly, they make all the right passes, all

465
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: the right moves. They're aggressive on defense, and and the

466
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 1: Tina Charles Shony Shimble and and Skyler Diingon's enough respect.

467
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 1: I fucking love you guys. I got the ball a

468
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 1: couple of times. My man Anthony Anderson, he was sort

469
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 1: of out of it, me and him. We're trying to

470
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: go out of and celesque at court l court. I

471
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: love you. I don't know how to say your last name.

472
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 1: I might think about changing that fucking thing. Great young

473
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,880
Speaker 1: actor from faulting our stars. It's got four point five

474
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 1: million fucking Twitter fans, big fucking star. He's a big deal.

475
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 1: He's a big fucking deal. Okay, tall kid, good looking

476
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 1: kid from New York. You know he made a couple

477
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 1: of free throws. We lose the fucking game. It's a

478
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 1: close game. You know. I'm like on the bench, like,

479
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: let's fucking go. We gotta fucking win this game. If

480
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 1: we fucking lose this game, we're gonna fucking be piste off.

481
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,360
Speaker 1: Laugh now, cry later, you motherfucker's we need to fucking win.

482
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: I'm saying this ship, let's fucking go. Man. Let Alan Houston.

483
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 1: At one point he's like, Mike, shut up, shut up.

484
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: Well he didn't say that, but I would know he

485
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 1: wanted to say, shut the funk up. You know, he's

486
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,199
Speaker 1: a he's a very you know, well spoken guy. But

487
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: Alan Houston looked at me one time like he unted

488
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: to say, shut the funk up. We lost the game.

489
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 1: I was sore, didn't perform the way I wanted to perform.

490
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: Had a fucking ball. Kevin Hart wins the m v P.

491
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: He was gonna win the MVP whether he scored one

492
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,160
Speaker 1: point twenty points. He did play well, but we lost.

493
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 1: Usually the m VP goes to the winning team. I

494
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: feel like the real MVP of the other team was

495
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: his fucking win Butler. But no one fun. It was

496
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 1: either gonna be Kevin Hart and Mony Davis. They gave

497
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: it to Kevin Hart. Love him. Chris Mullen, he was there.

498
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 1: It just was a great night. So, you know, I

499
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: meet up with my friends after the game. They're like, Yo,

500
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 1: you suck your fucking loser. Twitter is like, you know,

501
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 1: you fucking suck. You didn't get any shots. My friends

502
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: are like you you run like you gotta fucking pilot

503
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: ship in your pants, And I'm like you, motherfucker's like,

504
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,239
Speaker 1: you fucking know that already. I don't need to be

505
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:53,400
Speaker 1: fucking reminded of it. So, you know, take a little shower,

506
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 1: clean myself off, stretch out some more. I gotta stretch

507
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 1: the whole night. That's what the guy told him to

508
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,880
Speaker 1: keep sucking, stretching some water, go get we leave the garden.

509
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: I saw Kyrie Irving when I was leaving and I said, Yo,

510
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: I fucking love you Kyrie Irving. You're the ship. He

511
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,919
Speaker 1: was like, what's up? And I said, you remember I

512
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: met you? I said, I met you in the casino

513
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,360
Speaker 1: when I was there for USA basketball. I'm a big fan.

514
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, he was cool, really cool. You

515
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: know what? Else? Who else? So there wasn't that many

516
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: celebrities at the at the Celebrity All Star Game outside

517
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 1: of the people that were playing. But then we go

518
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: to the very very uh prestigious hard to get a

519
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: ticket thirtieth anniversary party for Jordan's all Right, which is

520
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: downtown at twenty three Wall Street. You get it, twenty

521
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: three Wall Street. And it's a big fucking like it's

522
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 1: like some big hole or something. I don't know what

523
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: the funk. It is, some big place. We get in there.

524
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 1: We we we go into the party, me and my friends.

525
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: I'm with three dudes, my friend bar Kofe and Jason

526
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 1: and we get you know, we get in pretty easily.

527
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 1: It wasn't a problem. They give us black wristbands. Okay,

528
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 1: black wristbands, and I'm like, I have a feeling that

529
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: there's better than black wristbands, because you know, there's always

530
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: like the fucking let's just say, the purple wristbands, the

531
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: black wrist bands, and then there's like the fucking the

532
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: all access diamond wristbands. So we're walking around, walking around,

533
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 1: walking around, and I see their stairs right in the

534
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: middle of this big party, and I go up there.

535
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: There's these two goon New York security guards, good dudes,

536
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 1: probably like off duty cops. They go, what's up, Mike.

537
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: I go, I want to go up there. They go,

538
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: let me see a wristband. I go. They go, we

539
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,919
Speaker 1: can't lench up because we know you, we saw you

540
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: play tonight. You did a good job ago. Thanks for

541
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: lying to me. But we can't lench up to go

542
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 1: in the front and tell me need the gold wristbands.

543
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: So going the front and in the front, who's giving

544
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: out the wristbands is some fucking hipster fuck. Okay, here's

545
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: where the night got interesting. So this little hipster prick,

546
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: he said, I said, Yo, I need the gold wristbands.

547
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: Joe I'm just I'm like this high feel. I'm in

548
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: New York. I just played in the All Star Game.

549
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: My fucking hamstring hurts. I want the goal. I was

550
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: invited to this party. My man Reggie from Jordan's hooked

551
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: me up. It's Jordan's, It's New York City. I'm going, yo,

552
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: can I get the gold wristbands? This dude, this fucking

553
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: little hipster pricks is get him out of here. Doesn't

554
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: even look at me, So I say, you, motherfucker fuck you,

555
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: Who the funk do you think you're talking to? He

556
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: didn't look at me when he said get him out

557
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: of here. Then I think he either recognized me or

558
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: he was like, oh shift, I got a wild card

559
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: on on my hands. So this big security guard, like

560
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: one of those fucking lineman, he goes, Mike, what's the matter,

561
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: cool out? And I go, what's the matter? This fucking

562
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 1: guy telling me to get the funk out of here?

563
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: This is fucking you know. I want the fucking gold wristband.

564
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: These is some bullshit wristbands. He goes, all right, calm down,

565
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 1: calm down. He was really he could have squashed me

566
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: like a grape. This guy was huge, fifty pounds, a good, loving,

567
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 1: big motherfucker calm and shit, which also makes you nervous

568
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: because he was chill, because he could have literally like

569
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 1: picked me up and thrown me. And I'm not a

570
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: little guy. He goes, you'll get it, You'll get all right. Cool, cool.

571
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: I don't like this motherfucker saying, get the funk, get

572
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: him out of here. Talk to me out of a hipster.

573
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: I guarantee you this motherfucker lives in Brooklyn. He's not

574
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: from New York and and he had on socks for

575
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: the personality the hipster elite. He said that to me,

576
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: get him out of here. Fuck you. So anyway, I

577
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: get the fucking black wristbands. My whole crew gets the

578
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: black wrist bands. We go upstairs, and who do we

579
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 1: see first? Michael fucking Jordan's in the motherfucking flesh And

580
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: me and my friend we were like, oh, ship, there's

581
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan's. I've never seen I saw him play one

582
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: time in like eighties seven when the Bulls weren't ship.

583
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: I've never seen him play. Other than that, I've never

584
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: seen him in real life. And I'm like, yo, ship,

585
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: there's Michael Jordan's. Of course, he's not dressed well, he's

586
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: got a fucked up style, but he wasn't wearing anything crazy.

587
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: And who is he talking to Moses Malone, who's wearing

588
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 1: some sort of rain hat and a rain jack in

589
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: the fucking party and it is brick out, but Moses,

590
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: you know, take your shift off, relax. So we're literally

591
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 1: staring at Michael Jordan. I'm like, Yo, this fucking Michael Jordan. Now,

592
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: I've heard so many fucking stories that Michael Jordan is

593
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: a fucking prick. I've heard so many stories of him

594
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 1: not taking selfies with people, not even giving people five,

595
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: not even giving people a time of day. So we

596
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: had already planned if we see Jordan's don't say a

597
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 1: fucking word to him, do not say a fucking word

598
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 1: to him. So we're literally staring at him like on

599
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: some groupie ship. Like, Yo, there's fucking Michael Jordan. Like

600
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 1: he's talking to Mosemlone. He's talking ship to mol Mosmlone

601
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: is like literally like sasquash. He's like from the backwoods.

602
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: He's straight country. I don't know what the funk he's saying,

603
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: but I can hear Michael talking. They're laughing. Ha ha

604
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: ha ha. Moses is huge. He's got on his fucking

605
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: rain hat and some kind of some kind of like

606
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: some kind of like Sherlock Holmes had with a raincoat

607
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: which could be used as a as a as a

608
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: as a blanket or like a duvet. You could literally

609
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: sew it and use it as a duvet. It's that

610
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 1: fucking big Moses, A big motherfucker. So where we follow

611
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: behind Michael Jordan's he goes into this sort of exclusive area.

612
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: But again, I don't want to get that close to

613
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan because I have heard he ships on people.

614
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: You could say, Michael Jordan's I I just lost my dog.

615
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: I'm your biggest fan, and apparently if he's not in

616
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: the right mood, he's gonna just turn his back on you,

617
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: which apparently happened later on when I when I ran

618
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: into Action Bronson, who I've never met before. He told

619
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,479
Speaker 1: me as Michael Jordan's story, which I'm not gonna repeat,

620
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: but hopefully I can get Action Bronson on this podcast

621
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 1: to tell his Michael Jordan's story, because it's not for

622
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: me to tell. If he wants to tell it, he

623
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: met him for the first time that night, he can

624
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: tell the story. But I would love to have Action

625
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 1: Bronson come on here and talk about his Michael Jordan's story. Anyway,

626
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: any fucking way. I know this is a lot to swallow. Okay,

627
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a sip of my water. Hold on.

628
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: Then there's these these these these couches and ship. Okay,

629
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 1: and who then do I see? I see Derek Jeter.

630
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: He's about five ft away from Michael Jordan's. And then

631
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: with my own eyes, I see Michael Jordan's and Derek

632
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: Jeter greet each other. Pound hull, yo, what's up? What's up?

633
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, there's fucking Derek Jeter, who I've met,

634
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: who's always cool, and Michael fucking Jordan's, two of the best,

635
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: most prolific athletes in the fucking world talking to each other.

636
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: And I'm like, fuck it, I gotta take a picture.

637
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: My man is like, don't do that, don't do that.

638
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, funk this ship. I'm gonna take a picture.

639
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,239
Speaker 1: It's dark in there. I knew I was. I had

640
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: a bullshit camera with my my iPhone camera. I didn't

641
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: want to and I'm like, I'm like about say, ten

642
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: feet away, so I know I'm not gonna get a

643
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: good picture, but I take the pictures on Instagram. Check

644
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: it out. Jeter has his back turn, Michael Jordan's wearing

645
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: some crazy ship and he's smoking a cigar. It's them.

646
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 1: I saw it with my own two fucking eyes, all right.

647
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: Then me and my friend are like, yo, we should

648
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: walk away, and I'm like a funk that I want

649
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: to watch what they're gonna do. They're just talking to

650
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: each other. Okay, there's chicks are are are swarming, swarming

651
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: like sharks, literally all around them. But I will say

652
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: about the entire All Star weekend. I don't know if

653
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: it was because it was freezing cold out, but normally

654
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: at All Star Weekend, the chicken heads, the groupies are out.

655
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: There wasn't as many at this party because this is

656
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: an exclusive party, and I just didn't see that many

657
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: in the city because maybe because it was so fucking

658
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: cold and the little chicken heads were covered up you

659
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: couldn't see them. Okay, but they were all fucking over.

660
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,839
Speaker 1: They were all over Michael Jordans and Derek You. They

661
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: were staring at them. So we finally walk away, and

662
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: who do I walk right like, like damn, They're into action.

663
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: Fucking Bronson and I'm like, oh shit, Action fucking Bronson,

664
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: what's up? And he's like, what's up, Mike? And I'm like, Yo,

665
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: I funk with you hard. Now we've texted each other

666
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: because we we we met over Twitter. That's how we we.

667
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,240
Speaker 1: We we we've been in contact. I always give him props.

668
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: I love him, and I'm like, yo, I funk with you.

669
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 1: He's like, yo, I funk with you. To his man

670
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: big body was there. He was like, Yo, what up?

671
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: I said, Yo, I funk with you guys hard. And

672
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, you know it's crazy. My kids have

673
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: seen you perform three times and I've never even seen

674
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: you in the flesh bronx. And he's like yo, blah

675
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 1: la la la la. So we're like happy to meet

676
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: each other. I'm excited. I'm like, Yo, we gotta fucking do.

677
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: I want to be on your show. Want to come

678
00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: eat some food? I'll eat you under the table. He's like,

679
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: you can't do that, Like I go, yeah, I can, actually, Bronson,

680
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: I could fucking yo, let's eat sandwiches, cook for me

681
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: because he cooks. I wanna funk with He's like, I

682
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: want to funk with you. Too, no Bruno anyway. So

683
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: we're walking throughout the party. Here's the list of people.

684
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 1: I see Dominique Wilkins. I see fucking Robert Parrish again.

685
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: I see Moses Malone. I see fucking every fucking NBA

686
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: player you could think of. There wasn't any NFL players.

687
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 1: I see fucking who else is in there? Then Ariana

688
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: Grande just starts performing out of nowhere. She's on a

689
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 1: stage downstairs. Ariana Grande is performing. I can give two

690
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: funks about Ariana Grande, but she's performing. I'm like, you

691
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: know what the fund is going on here? Ariana grand

692
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:42,280
Speaker 1: He's performing. Who else did we see in this fucking place? Uh?

693
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:48,320
Speaker 1: All the NBA players, K D Carmelo, Russell Westbrook, Chris

694
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: Paul did, the entire fucking league is in this fucking room.

695
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: Every fucking body is in this fucking building, Every fucking body.

696
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 1: Then I walked by a couch. Magic Johnson's there and

697
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: I'm sitting on the out just Dr J. I'm like,

698
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on here? Dr J looks

699
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: like Dr J. He looks great, he's got the gray hair.

700
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: He's talking to some beautiful chick as he should. He's

701
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: Dr fucking J something some older chick, you know, like

702
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 1: his age maybe like not probably like forty, but a

703
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,800
Speaker 1: dime piece, you know, yeah, you know, pretty chick older.

704
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying forty because Doc's probably sixty. And I'm like, yo,

705
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: I can't even talk to Dr J. I can't even

706
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: approach Dr J. I said, what's up to? Magic? Said?

707
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,919
Speaker 1: What's up to Dominique? I see him every year? He's

708
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 1: so fucking cool to me? Said what's up to Moses?

709
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 1: He mumbled some ship. I couldn't know what the I

710
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: didn't know what the funk he said, Fat Joe. I

711
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 1: fucking see jay Z see him real quick? What's up,

712
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: jay Z? Yo? It's up? What's up? Keep it moving?

713
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 1: Who the funk are? Everybody's in there? Every fuckingbody is

714
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: in the fucking building. And then around, like I don't know,

715
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: maybe one o'clock in the morning, Prince starts performing. That's right,

716
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: I said, Prince downstairs, princess performing. And I'm like, are

717
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: you fucking serious? He's singing like the Classics, he's singing

718
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: new Ship, He's singing controversy. I'm like, what the do

719
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: you believe in? God? I'm princess, right, there. Before he

720
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 1: got there, the Afro the create, he had some gold

721
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: shift on. People are losing them. He's killing it. If Prince,

722
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: it's the second time I've seen him perform live. If

723
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: Princess performing, he's never half ass. He's shutting the ship down.

724
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: And while Prince was performing, You're like, yo, this is

725
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: why Princess Prince. This motherfucker is a fucking king's he's

726
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 1: he's on another level. So finally we leave that night.

727
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 1: This is Friday night. This is only Friday night. Okay,

728
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: we leave the fucking party. It is one of the

729
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 1: coldest nights out. Prince performer. I think Stevie Wonder was

730
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 1: supposed to perform. Afterwards. I had had enough. I had

731
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 1: had enough of the celebrities, had enough of the fucking NBA,

732
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,760
Speaker 1: had enough of fucking Michael Jordan, had enough of Derek

733
00:37:55,760 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 1: fucking Jeter. I was overwhelmed. Okay, I was overwhelmed. Was

734
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: an overwhelmingly incredible night in New York City. I was

735
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,240
Speaker 1: tripping the funk out. Okay, I played in my game.

736
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 1: This is in one night, one fucking night, and uh,

737
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a little break right here. We're gonna

738
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: be right back with Saturday Night. Saturday Night was almost

739
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: fucking crazier than think Friday Night. Once upon a time,

740
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 1: there was a new crossover that refused to play by

741
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: the rules. It flipped the script and made all the

742
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,399
Speaker 1: others look like fools. Featuring styling that's sexier by far

743
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: and handles like a rock star. Introducing the first ever

744
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: Toyota c HR. Enjoy agile handling in the body of

745
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 1: a seductive crossover that with standard eighteen niche alloy wills

746
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 1: the first ever Toyota ce HR the perfect ride to

747
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 1: spin your own tail. Toyota Let's Go Places.