1 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:05,920 Speaker 1: We've teamed up with Seagram's Escapes to give away one thousand, 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: five hundred dollars cash to create your own summer escape. Okay, 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: to enter and get rules, please visit Steve HARVEYFM dot com. 4 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: Fifteen hundred dollars people in cash could be yours. Get 5 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:24,280 Speaker 1: all the info at Steve HARVEYFM dot com. Sit happiness 6 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: with Seagram's Escapes your new summer favorite. All right, we 7 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: all love it. We all love it. Yeah, we're gonna 8 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: switch gears here and let you know that. It is 9 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 1: time for today's Strawberry Letter. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, 10 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,559 Speaker 1: and more, parenting all of that, please submit your Strawberry 11 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 1: Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. 12 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air, 13 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: just like we're gonna read this one right here, right now, 14 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours. That's right, 15 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: it could be. It could be Buckle up and hold 16 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 1: on tight. Got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. 17 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject he's never ever pleased. Dear Stephen Shirley. 18 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm thirty four years old and I own a hair salon. 19 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: In a strip mall. I've been hanging out with a 20 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: thirty eight year old dentist who works directly above my salon. 21 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: I need your advice on how to deal with him. 22 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,759 Speaker 1: He is never ever pleased with anything, and the first 23 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: time we met, he came down to my salon and 24 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: told me to turn my music down. I told him 25 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 1: to relax, and he got mad. A few days after that, 26 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: he came back down and asked if he could get 27 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: ado over. He told me he was very accomplished and 28 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: listed all the things he owned, and said he is 29 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: single because he knows what he likes and won't settle 30 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: for less. I was intrigued and asked him to go 31 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: see a movie with me. He was displeased with the 32 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: theater and he said the popcorn was burnt. I wore 33 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: a sun dress and sneakers, and he said he prefers 34 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: that women wear their toes. Out me up and he 35 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: commented that I live in a transitioning neighborhood, which to 36 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: me meant that I live in the ghetto. I told 37 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: him I would let his comment slide so we would 38 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 1: not argue. We still hang out and he's always complaining. 39 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: He tells me what I should do with my hair, 40 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: or what I should wear when we're hanging out. But 41 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: the most irritating thing about him is the sex. Don't 42 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: get me wrong, he's really good in bed, but he 43 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: told me that I fall short of pleasing him the 44 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: way he is used to getting pleased. I do my best, 45 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: but he critiques every sexual encounter we have and tells 46 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: me what I need to work on. I have never 47 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: been told that I can't please a man. I love 48 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: a challenge, but I feel like this is his way 49 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: of controlling me. Well I ever be able to please him? 50 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: Probably not? But who cares? Are you kidding me? Right now? 51 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 1: Just you know this guy, it only matters what you 52 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: think of you, okay, and most importantly, you still have 53 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: to be yourself. You still have to love yourself. I 54 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: do agree with you. I think he is controlling. His 55 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: words are just full of put downs. You don't need 56 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: to be controlled. You need to be appreciated and respected, 57 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: and according to you, he only criticizes and complaints to 58 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: you and about you. I don't like this guy. I 59 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: don't like him for you, and I hate the fact 60 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: that you think you need to please him. You don't. 61 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: You obviously have things going on for yourself. You must 62 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: be attractive, or he wouldn't have gone out of his 63 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: way to go out with you in the first place. 64 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: Remember he came back down there and asked you for 65 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: a do over. I think you're smart. You have to 66 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: be smart. You're a business owner. You must have to 67 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: have somewhat of a personality because in your business you 68 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: do have to deal with the crazy public. You know, 69 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 1: So don't let this guy keep putting you down, treating 70 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: you this way. I mean, who does he think he is? 71 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: Just because he's, in his words, a very accomplished dentist, 72 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that he knows how to deal with women. 73 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: I think a real man in this case, or a 74 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,119 Speaker 1: gentleman who cares about you, would be trying to get 75 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: to know you, would be supportive of you. This guy, 76 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 1: I don't think he's worth your time. I mean, you 77 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: may like him, but can you imagine being in a 78 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: relationship or a marriage with him. He's not gonna change, Okay. 79 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: He is who he is because he doesn't think anything 80 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 1: is wrong with how he is. And so that's where you, 81 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: I think, should tell him what you're telling us in 82 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 1: this letter. You know about how he criticizes you and 83 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,840 Speaker 1: all that. He's not gonna like it. He's not gonna 84 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: expect this from you because you haven't been letting him 85 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: know how you feel, and you've been letting him get 86 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: away with this. But only you can stop him, So 87 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: you know, until you do that, I say, don't go 88 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 1: any further with him. Steve, Wow, you know, I thought 89 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: this letter wasn't going here, and then the letter went there, 90 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: and then the letter turned back around. He's never ever pleased. 91 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: I think that's the key to this whole thing. This 92 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,799 Speaker 1: thirty four year old woman that owns his hair salon 93 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: in a strip mall. You've been hanging out with a 94 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: thirty eight year old dentist who works directly above your salon, 95 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: and now she needs our advice on how to deal 96 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: with him. And she says, point blank, he has never 97 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: ever pleased with anything. And the first time we met, 98 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 1: he came down to the salon and told me to 99 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: turn my music down. I told him me relax. He 100 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: got mad. Then after that he came back downstairs and 101 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 1: asked if he could do a duover. See what happened 102 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: was he knew who you were. He went downstairs to 103 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: complain that was just the move to come downstairs. But 104 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: I can understand because you got a dentist office upstairs. 105 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: But you handled it perfectly. You told him, hey, look 106 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: just relax, it's no problem. I can turn it down. 107 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: So you did what he needed. And then after that 108 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: he came back and he found out he was wrong, 109 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: so he said, let me do a due over now. 110 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 1: When he was down there, he was assessing he's a man. 111 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: He looked around. He said, okay, she owns the salon. 112 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: She fine, hold up, I'm tripping. Let me start this 113 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: over now. After that, when we come back, i'm gonna 114 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: show you what this whole thing went wrong, and high 115 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: it's gonna stay wrong. Okay, okay, all right, sounds good. 116 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, hang on. Part two of your response 117 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,159 Speaker 1: is coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 118 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter. Subject He's never ever pleased. We'll get 119 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening, all right, 120 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter. He's never 121 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 1: ever pleased? Well, thirty four year old hair salon owner. 122 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: Obviously a nice looking woman, attractive will will will put 123 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: together in terms of ownership. No having her life together 124 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: and everything ownership. Thirty eight year old dentist upstairs, she 125 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: has the music up. He comes down to complain to 126 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: the music too lous. She tells him to relax chavs. 127 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: He turns her music down. He felt bad about it. 128 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: After assessing her song how fine she was. He bought 129 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: his ass back down there and said, hey, can I 130 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: get a do over? My bad? I came down here wrung. 131 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: I ain't know he used own her, my bad? I 132 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 1: thought it was the other girl. Yeah, And so anyway 133 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: he came back and so he told me he was 134 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: very accomplished and listed all the things he owned, and 135 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: said he is single because he knows what he likes 136 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: and he won't settle for lesson. No, no, no, no, no no, Doc, 137 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: you're a thirty eight year old dentist. You're single because 138 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: there's something wrong with you. You're single because you ain't 139 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: found nobody to tolerate you yet. Do you know how 140 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 1: many good women is looking for good men out here? You? 141 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: And it ain't hard to find a good woman man. 142 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: It's a bunch of them, and once they leave that 143 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: baggage at at the back door, they can be real good. 144 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: But now here you come because you say you single, 145 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: because he knows what he likes and he won't settle 146 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: for less. This is a setup move. Lady. You were 147 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: intrigued and you asked him go see a movie with you. 148 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,719 Speaker 1: He was displeased with the theater. He said the popcorn 149 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: was burnt. Okay, so he's a whiner and complainer. I 150 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 1: wore a sun dress and sneakers, and he said he 151 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: prefers to women where they toes out. I understand that 152 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: I'm there way too though you got on a sun dress. 153 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: I think you should have them toes out. I agree 154 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: with that one hundred percent, but I'm not gonna tell 155 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: that to a woman on the first date. We're gonna 156 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 1: work on round to that. But right now I don't 157 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: have a right to tell you what I want because 158 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: you don't belong to me and I don't belong to you. 159 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: So I can't tell this woman nothing. I got to 160 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,839 Speaker 1: just deal with it. And he picked me up and 161 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: he commented that you live in a transitioning neighborhood, which 162 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: to me meant that I live in together. Well, a 163 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: transitioning neighborhood. You know what that is, and so you 164 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,719 Speaker 1: read it right. But that's where you live. So so 165 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: a lot of diamonds in the ruck. I told him 166 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: I would let his comment slide so we would not argue. 167 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: We still hang out, and he's always complaining. I just 168 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,680 Speaker 1: told you he was a complainer. He tells me what 169 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: I should do with my hair or what I should 170 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: wear when we're hanging out. See, you're not telling us 171 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: that you all have already had sex. See this departure. 172 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,200 Speaker 1: You're not telling us, Lady. You keep saying when we 173 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: hanging out, but you're actually seeing him. And obviously he's 174 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: a controlling guy, and he likes to implement what he 175 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: wanted at all times. It regardless us to what you want. 176 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 1: But the most irritating thing about him is the sex. 177 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 1: Here we go, now we find out this hanging out 178 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: is sex. Don't get me wrong, he's really good in bed. 179 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: But he told me that I fall short and pleasing 180 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 1: him the way he's used to getting pleased. Yeah, and 181 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 1: let me tell you something. This ain't the first time 182 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:26,079 Speaker 1: he'd said this. This is why he's single, because everybody 183 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: got to please him. I do my best. Okay, okay, okay, 184 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: so you didn't been on debait. His whole thing you 185 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: remember up top, he says, because I know what I 186 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: like and I won't settle for less that intrigued. You 187 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: see what I mean? So now what a woman started 188 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: doing is trying to prove that. Like when a man 189 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: meets you and he tells you why he broke up 190 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: with his ex, he's trying to get that from you. 191 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: She didn't do nothing for me, She didn't take care 192 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: of me, she didn't love me the way I need it. 193 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 1: Now here you go, Well, I'm gonna love you the 194 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: way you need to. It's a setup move so he 195 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: can keep getting what he wants. But you haven't told 196 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,559 Speaker 1: us anything about what he's doing for you. Right, he's 197 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: done nothing for you. You just keep trying to prove 198 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: yourself as someone to be someone he likes and that 199 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: he don't have to settle no more. I do my best, 200 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: but he critiques every sexual encounter and he tells me 201 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 1: what I need to work on. I've never been told 202 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,199 Speaker 1: that I can't please a man. I love a challenge. Oh, 203 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: now here you go. Now you've fin to prove him wrong. 204 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 1: So now you find the sex? Are or now you 205 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: up in here doing some stuff? You really? You? You 206 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: you above and beyond. But I feel like this is 207 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 1: the way of controlling me. Will I ever be able 208 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 1: to please him? All right, let's answer this flot. No, 209 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: you will not be able to please him ever, because 210 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 1: you know why, because he's a manipulator, and men who 211 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: are manipulators do things is to manipulate. So, simply put, 212 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: he always has you trying to prove yourself to him, 213 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: when he, in turn, does nothing to prove himself to you. 214 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 1: He's selfish, he's controlling, he's self centered, he's overbearing, he's arrogant. 215 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: All his accomplishments, and where you live and all this here, y'all, 216 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: he on top of your stove, y'all in the same 217 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: damn strip mall. If you make it all that money 218 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: while your ass, y'all stands at the strip mall, you 219 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:47,000 Speaker 1: ain't even stole front. All right? Thank you at Steve 220 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: Harvey FIM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry 221 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand, Why you at a strip Mall? 222 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: Why your ass ain't in a medical bill? Coming up 223 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour at Sports Talk 224 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to the Day 225 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show