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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that challenged Gwyneth Paltrow to a

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Speaker 1: kale chip eating contest. Gwynn tapped out after a chip

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Speaker 1: in a house that was her lunch and dinner for

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Speaker 1: the entire week. So rattle on with victorious laser stories,

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Speaker 1: the segment where we read weird news stories around the glove,

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Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser

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Speaker 1: and there's other gooby droopies just don't This first laser

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Speaker 1: story is out of Lubbock. Three cops on horseback were

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Speaker 1: riding around recently when they saw a guy walking down

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Speaker 1: the street instead of on the sidewalk. He seemed suspicious,

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Speaker 1: so they went up and talked to him. They thought

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Speaker 1: he might have drugs, so they asked to search his

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Speaker 1: pockets and he said no. And then one of the

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Speaker 1: cops joked that the horse he was on was a

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Speaker 1: drug sniffing horse, So you better be honest with us, dude.

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Speaker 1: I would already laughed. I would have lost it. You're

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Speaker 1: a funny cop. Oh, you wouldn't have fallen for it.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, he's kidding a horse snipping.

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Speaker 1: I don't know he's he's asking to search you. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. How joky he is. Well, the guy immediately

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Speaker 1: took off running. Yeah wow, there's bodycam footage of the

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Speaker 1: whole thing. And the deputies thought the guy fleeing was

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Speaker 1: also a joke. But oh yeah, that would be a

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Speaker 1: funny joke where he's like, oh, but then he didn't stop,

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Speaker 1: so they had to pursue. The guy took off down

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Speaker 1: an alley, but remember they're on horseback. Immediately caught up

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Speaker 1: to him, and now forty two year old Joseph Ramirez

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Speaker 1: is facing charges for evading arrest and tampering with physical evidence.

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Speaker 1: Oh the dross up and out of his pocket all

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Speaker 1: the way. It's not clear if that evidence was drugs

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Speaker 1: or not, but some people are assuming Oh.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I also assume pretty big assumption to make you guys,

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Speaker 2: just because he ran from the cops.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's give the guy a little bit of a break.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he just wanted to see if he beat a horse.

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Speaker 1: That could be too. Yeah, after it was all done,

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Speaker 1: the cops do want the public to know from here

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Speaker 1: on out, while they would like to have drug sniffing horses,

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Speaker 1: there is no such thing.

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Speaker 2: I want cooler animals, like release a chinchilla. It's gonna like,

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Speaker 2: you know, sniff me up? Just adorable?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this next as The story is out of San Antonio,

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Speaker 1: stan in Texas. A twenty year old guy named Scooter

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Speaker 1: Talbot hopped on Netflix last week and realized somebody had

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Speaker 1: changed his username. Is this really a news story? That's

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Speaker 1: an extreme violation bro o. It's not clear what they

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Speaker 1: changed it to, but it was some sort of insult.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow. Scooter was upset, and he knew the two

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Speaker 1: guys who changed it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because they're the only two guys probably has this password.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, nineteen year olds Brian Reynolds and eighteen year old

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Speaker 1: Anthony Constant.

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Speaker 2: It's gonna be something funny.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. He texted them saying he felt dis respected

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Speaker 1: by their prank, and instead of working it out, he

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Speaker 1: challenged them both to a fight. Yeah, who's the fun

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Speaker 1: guy in that friend group? Why does he just kick

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Speaker 1: off the account? Then they're not going to learn their lesson? Right?

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Speaker 1: So a few hours later, the three all met up

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Speaker 1: at a local park and went at it with each

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Speaker 1: other over a Netflix name. Yeah. Yeah, it's a serious business,

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Speaker 1: mean John board with this. According to the police report,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like Scooter took quite a beating. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: Brian did too. His face is all banged up in

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Speaker 1: his mugshot photo and he's in a neck brace.

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Speaker 2: Wow, he's going to need some time to watch the

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Speaker 2: Netflix that.

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Speaker 1: I hope he didn't get booted. He and Anthony are

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Speaker 1: now both facing charges for aggravated assaults. Meanwhile, Scooter is

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Speaker 1: recovering in the hospital. And may I remind you it

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Speaker 1: all happened because a Netflix user name change.

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Speaker 2: Wow. I feel like we need to find more healthy

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Speaker 2: ways to get our anger night fight.

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Speaker 1: Good idea, you take Coco away from there. This next

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Speaker 1: Lazer story is out of fast food Fantasy Lands. McDonald's

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Speaker 1: just announced that they're bringing back their Monopoly game next

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Speaker 1: week for the first time in a decade. Oh is

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Speaker 1: it bad? I didn't realize it left. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: I watched the documentary. I'm like, I'm never going to

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Speaker 2: play the Monopoly game again.

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Speaker 1: You know where you get all the board pieces on

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Speaker 1: your cup or your fresh Yeah, if you don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's the game where you peel off a bunch of

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Speaker 1: stickers and you try to collect groups of Monopoly properties.

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Speaker 1: So you're trying to get all the red properties or

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Speaker 1: all the blue properties. Together. And when I was a kid,

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Speaker 1: I swore I was rich.

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Speaker 2: Every time I'm like, dude, I I know my buddy

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Speaker 2: Eric has Marvin Gardens. If we joined Force's, mom, we're

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Speaker 2: gonna be a millionaire.

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Speaker 1: I just have to negotiate it here. It's got the railroad.

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Speaker 1: Railroad a lot of hope in the game. Anyway. McDonald's

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Speaker 1: has the approximate odds of winning various prizes buried deep

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Speaker 1: down in their official rule what's the and they're pretty hilarious.

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Speaker 1: So here's a few. A free small fry one in

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Speaker 1: twenty five.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say those are the only things

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Speaker 2: that I ever won from that game.

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Speaker 1: That's not too bad. That's still one in twenty five people.

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Speaker 2: But who's going back and just getting the free small

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Speaker 2: fig gimmick a.

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Speaker 1: Chicken McNugget one in ninety eight. They can't give a hundred,

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Speaker 1: They can't give out more than that. It's not very

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Speaker 1: good odds. And then this is where things begin to

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Speaker 1: get absolutely crazy. An Audio Technica turntable bundle wheth five

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Speaker 1: hundred dollars a record player. Chances to win are one

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Speaker 1: in fifty nine million.

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Speaker 2: Double.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, the amount you're spending to get that

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Speaker 1: many monopoly things. Just go buy the record place, like

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Speaker 1: one hundred dollars record. Yeah, okay, that one's rough. But

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Speaker 1: how about a seventy seven inch Samsung TV from Best Buy?

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Speaker 2: Now we're talking. Samsung is a great brand too.

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Speaker 1: That'll be one in one hundred and fifty three million.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, only on the same odds as winning one hundred

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Speaker 2: million in the Power.

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Speaker 1: I thought radio promotions were bad. Our heart is so

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Speaker 1: much better than this. We're twenty five Yeah, a ten

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars Low's shopping spree. Your chances are one in

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Speaker 1: two point six billion.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's even worse to they even say

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Speaker 2: how much money you get at that shopping spree?

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Speaker 1: Ten thousand dollars. Oh, I didn't hear that. So many numbers,

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Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars Low shopping spree. A lot of numbers,

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Speaker 1: and it gets worse. One in three billion will win

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Speaker 1: a VIP trip for four to the Kennedy Space Center,

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Speaker 1: and one in four billion will win a trip for

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Speaker 1: four to Universal Orlando. Bo I know we're winning a

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Speaker 1: house or an actual railroad, billion dollars, even a top

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Speaker 1: hat man something from the gate. Let's get crazier. One

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Speaker 1: in six billion, wins a twenty twenty six win a

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Speaker 1: Bago RV motor home.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna want to sell after one season and trying.

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Speaker 1: To pump the sewer. Aut Man, it's on the are awful.

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Speaker 1: One in eleven billion, take home a Polaris ATV. Wow,

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Speaker 1: there's only eight billion people on the planet and the

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Speaker 1: odds are one in eleven billion people.

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Speaker 2: Why are there so many random prizes?

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Speaker 1: It's so all over the board. Yeah, random. I like

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Speaker 1: some of these press some of these are kind of cool.

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Speaker 1: And ATV Winnipego, this is like a price is Right dream.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it price one in thirteen billion, get a twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty six Jeep Grand Cherokey, and finally, any guesses for

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Speaker 1: this an all expense paid vacation for four to Paris

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Speaker 1: quad brilliant, a quadrillion of a quadrillion. I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's only a two night's day. I'm gonna go one

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Speaker 1: in seventy six billion. I can't even do the math.

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Speaker 1: Ronnywore numbers. Yeah, prices right, rules, go to brook the

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Speaker 1: answer one in sixty billion. I should have a dollar,

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Speaker 1: So good luck playing. Hope you get that small fry.

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Speaker 1: But speaking of small fries, a little small fry he is.

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Speaker 1: He's a little warm and salty, and he's hiding in

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Speaker 1: the bottom of your McDonald's bag that you just picked

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Speaker 1: up at the drive through. Just let them live with you.

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Speaker 1: He's a good time. That's how means Laser Stories has

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Speaker 1: come to an end of the day. We'll do it again,

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Speaker 1: same time on Friday. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.