WEBVTT - I Think I'm Infertile Feat. Dr. Raquel 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.080 I can name so many strong black women, but I 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:05.560 can't name a lot of black women that are free. 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:08.960 So I think that's what makes you all unique. Is 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:11.079 that how? I mean? How many strong black women do? 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:11.320 You know? 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:13.239 Millions, all of them, you know what I mean. So 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:15.760 it's like, but people like seeing you all get to 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:18.640 be yourselves and don't like you don't feel tied down 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:20.880 to anything like that's very unique. 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:21.799 Well thank you. 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:25.120 Wow, it's crazy that that's unique, right, you know, But 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.200 when you think about it, we have to kind of 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:30.760 learn to be comfortable in our freedom because we've been 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:33.680 taught so often to conform and to be quiet and 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:35.840 to take up less space and to like just be quiet, 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:38.280 you know. So it is like a tool, a muscle 0:00:38.320 --> 0:01:02.160 that has to be exercised. Welcome back to good mom's 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:02.800 bad choices. 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:04.200 I'm Erica and I'm Mela. 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:08.520 Happy hump day, Happy hump day, bitches. 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:10.160 It's time to smoke. 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:12.920 A bloo and it's time to smoke a blah. Is 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.399 it back with a clock and your nipples up? 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:17.440 It's not out nipples. 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:19.360 I don't know how many times gonna tell you my 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:21.960 areolas are camouflage. 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:25.680 They're camouflage. So yeah, you can't see it. 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:26.520 If you're on YouTube. 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:30.640 Go now look at Mila's nipples the one one minute mark. 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:32.880 Maybe you'll see mine because mine are really big and 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.680 they keep popping out of my dress. 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:37.600 This is how we entice people to come to our 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:40.040 come to our YouTube channel. So all twenty thousand of 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:42.480 our subscribers mostly came over to see our nipples. 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:46.399 Excuse me, it's like twenty four thousand. And if you 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:49.120 haven't subscribed, make sure you click the subscribe buttons. You 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:53.280 get alerted every time our beautiful faces hit the YouTube channels. 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.440 We got a nice studio and shit, we look good. 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:58.639 We're getting dressed and putting all makeup and shit, yeah pla. 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:01.960 Today I'm wearing or because I'm flirty and it's the 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:05.320 end of summer and I wanted to feel flirty and orange. 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:09.200 And I have these beautiful accessories on if you dare accessories. 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:12.840 This is a female founded, female owned, black owned accessory business. 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:16.960 And I like my earrings. They're very bushy there. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:19.720 Look you're petting soft. 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:22.520 It's soft that come in many different colors. 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:24.080 It's kind of like something from Whoville. 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:25.720 Well you know that, you know in the episode we 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:27.720 did with Laron Lionel and I had the pink ones. 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:29.600 Oh yeah, yeah, she makes those. 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:33.600 I'm wearing a Djon dress with a high split up 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:34.040 my sex. 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:34.600 Jon. 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:36.799 I don't know, like it's like mustard. I've never heard 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:40.000 anyone call the color dijon. Ever, well today you did. 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:42.120 It's called Dijon mustard. 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:42.440 Bitch. 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:44.840 I was looking at it to just figure out what 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.480 the color was, and I chose Dijon mustard because I'm spicy. 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.400 This is by Vintage Souls and we actually have a 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:56.160 discount code advantage Souls. Let me give it, Let me 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:57.079 do my jump. 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:00.720 Yeah, she was on, Oh wow, you're. 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:03.400 Gonna you're gonna gonna be standing totally out of camera. 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:05.239 Yeah. 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:07.120 See you like that little slate you can pull it, 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:14.520 pull it to make it. Oh yeah, I love the 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:17.200 form fitting this. It looks good on all shapes and sizes. 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:21.480 The material is soft, kind of like those Calvin Klein 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.320 underwear that you know, those sheets and those underwear that 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:26.200 other one likes. And if you're on YouTube, you can 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:29.320 see Mila shaking her big fat booty and her nipples 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:29.720 out again. 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:34.920 You know, just a little something some you know, I 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:37.880 just want to, you know, show my haters a little 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.840 ass shaken for the day. You know, set your mood 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:41.360 off right. 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:44.280 Are you gonna roll the bloot today? 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:48.600 I can, yeah, roll it up, Roll it up up today, Nelly. 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:51.840 Shout out to Nelly, our podcast producer. We had no weed, 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:53.720 and so she gifted us with hers. And it's actually 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:55.880 not weed at all, or it is weed sort of weed. 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:57.720 It's cbdhweed. 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:02.480 It's slow ghweed's so hopefully we won't get midway down 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:03.480 through the conversation. 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.520 You'll be so smart. I'm gonna say, we're gonna get 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:07.600 We're gonna smoke that whole blunt still be smart. 0:04:08.200 --> 0:04:09.640 I'm usually smart when I smoke. We I just have 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:11.280 to smoke it like halfway through the episode. I don't 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:12.960 know if you guys notice if we smoke weed, we 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:15.600 only smoke it halfway through the episode because if we 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.839 start too early, we'll us like five years to figure 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:21.400 this out. I thought four and a half years. If 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:24.479 we start before, then the whole episode would be fucked. 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:26.800 But if we start the episode and then we get 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:28.640 into a good conversation and then we hit it, then 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:29.279 we get smarter. 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:29.920 It elevates. 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.080 We got to get into the conversation. First, yeah, we can't. 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:35.159 We can't depend on start here. No, unless it's four twenty. 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:36.159 This is our tactic. 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:40.200 How are you today, my love. 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:47.360 I'm doing fine. I'm doing really good. I am. I 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.000 decided that I was gonna invite everybody I ever knew 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:53.280 in my contact list to my housewarming party. Perfect, And 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:56.479 now I just realize it's tomorrow and I ain't got shit. 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:58.359 Oh fuck, I gotta go on Amazon and buy your 0:04:58.400 --> 0:04:59.680 and got out of your list. You know what I 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.320 was thinking about this. I need to start We need 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.560 to start creating Amazon grifflis and just post them on 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.640 social media, and then we can live the life we want. 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:11.000 I'm about to post my registry. I'm much post. 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:14.040 Yeah, I'm posting everything on social bitch, buy my whole house. 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.800 Well, the thing is like Amazon has everything. 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:18.960 Because I really do want new things, and I feel like, 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:21.560 you know, I love you guys. I feel like we 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.640 enricher lives every week. You know, we give you a lot. 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:27.120 The least you could do was buy me a fucking 0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:28.480 candle so something. 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.920 If you buy me a housewarming gift, I'm gonna put 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:32.719 I'm gonna prop my phone up at the housewarming and 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:34.800 put on live so you can tune in, you could 0:05:34.839 --> 0:05:35.120 be there. 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:37.839 Basically, just know it's gonna be the dip teak candle. 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:41.080 So that bitch cost about one hundred and twenty, but 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:42.800 it's gonna be worth it. And I'm gonna thank you 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:44.719 so much. I'll even thank you live on the show. 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:46.240 I'll say your name and I'll say thank you, thank 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:49.880 you so much Richard for buying me the dip teak candle. 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:51.280 I know what I was thinking about it. I was like, 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:52.880 why didn't we do that with the office. Why didn't 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.840 we have a house office warming? And like let everyone because. 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:57.000 We were these hundreds of pressed. 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.800 We didn't have time to wait waste. We had a lot. 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:02.240 We had to capitalize on that Black Friday sale. We 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:05.720 literally designed our whole office on a Black Friday sale. 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:06.560 We bought as. 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:08.360 Much as we could in like a two day period 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:09.880 Cyber Monday, Black Friday. 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:13.360 I'm about to put interior designer on my resume for sure, 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:17.240 he too, because I'd be design and shit, I'm a 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:19.920 clothing designer and an interior designer actually, and I designed 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:26.240 my life yeah, master manifesto, designer of all things, and 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:27.039 it's done. 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:31.040 And the designer of perfectly rolled vanilla Backwoods. 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:34.560 And now for the final touch, just a little, just 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:38.640 a little oh oh yeah, just one little drop of honey. 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.960 That's what the girls like someone. I think in our 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.600 last clip that was on Instagram, I was talking about 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:46.400 how niggas always suck on. 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:47.800 The blunt, I know, and then I was like, so 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:48.760 ilmo erotic. 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:50.720 I was like, we probably could have left that right now. 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:53.760 This is how you know, we don't really we don't 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:55.920 really funnel through an edit because I'd be like, huh, 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:57.640 that could have Maybe I shouldn't had to say that. 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:00.840 Somewhere our nigga's over there smell backing down as blunt, 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:03.839 thinking about me calling him homoerotic, mad as hell. 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:07.159 It is. 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.240 Don't teach me no new words because I would be 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:11.520 using him. Oh yeah, that's homoerotic. 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:14.360 But people often ask us why we put the honey 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:16.080 on the blunt. Well, we put the honey on the 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:20.480 blunt because A it makes it a lot. Bitch, are 0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:23.160 you are you that niggas that sucks on the blunt? Like, 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:24.920 are you the person I'm talking about? 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:26.360 What's happening over it tastes good? 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:27.280 What the fu? 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:34.360 So the blunt with the honey makes it take bitch, 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:35.720 Why does the sound? 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:38.120 I don't know. I like it. 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.880 The blunt with honey makes it taste sweet, and then 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:46.480 also it helps it burn slower. But if you're Jamila 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:49.160 and you sucked every ounce of the honey off the blunt, 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:51.360 I don't know if it's gonna make it burn slower. 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:53.000 It's fine, Okay, So. 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:54.720 I'm gonna put this aside, and so we start talking. 0:07:54.920 --> 0:08:00.000 Okay, there's only seven percent. Okay, okay, just give a second. 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:02.680 Doing it now? 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.960 Just light it? Okay, where's the lighter? Oh the candle? 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:12.679 Okay, yeah, okay, let's get a little bit hah ha, 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:15.760 just a little bit ha ha, A ton of bit 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:26.720 every day, just a ton of bit ha had. 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:29.400 Orlando, make sure you drop the beat there anyway, y'all, 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:31.440 I know you don't believe us, but we actually have 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:33.960 a guest here who's been sitting in silence next to us, 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:39.319 just trying not to laugh. We are really excited because 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:42.520 this guest came to us via our tribe. We posted 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:45.160 something on Instagram. We were looking for people in the 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:49.560 birthing space, the fertility space, and we were led to 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:55.320 doctor Raquel the fertility aka at the Fertility Advantage and 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.920 she is a fertility expert. So welcome to the show, 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:00.520 doctor Raquel. And I know you said I don't have 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:02.520 to call you doctor, but I feel like, bitch, you 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:03.160 worked really. 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:03.400 Hard for that. 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:04.240 I paid for that. 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.840 You invested in that title before listen. 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:09.000 Before the episode started, she was like, I don't have 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:09.280 to say that. 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:11.040 I was like, my daughter will call me a doctor 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:14.480 if I am a doctor, doctor, mom, doctor, e whatever, 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:16.480 like my nigga while we're fucking. 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:19.880 Oh my god, that'd be so fun. Like call me doctor. 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:22.840 I call me doctor dick. Oh he doesn't want to 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:25.240 do that. I'd be lay because my last name is Dickerson. 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:27.320 That's going to work. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:28.800 Well, just put the sun on it. You can't just 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:29.439 say doctor dick. 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.320 I mean just it's kind of long, it doesn't roll 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:31.839 off the tongue. 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:34.280 Dr Matt role play as a doctor. 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:36.120 I didn't. I didn't. 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:37.960 I don't have the debt. But just keep calling me doctor. 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:44.400 I'm the six. Sorry, just took away from your intro 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.520 because we're ridiculously immature. 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:49.400 Hi, thank you for joining us today. 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.400 Thank you for having me. I know everybody says this, 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:54.720 but I really am a big fan of what you do, 0:09:54.760 --> 0:09:57.880 and all of my friends are huge fans of what 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:00.360 you do. And you, I don't know if you really 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:03.640 realize how much you allow people to just feel free. 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.240 You know, like I don't have to just be a mom, 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:08.400 Like I can be anything I want to be. I 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.920 can be sexual, you know, I can explore or I 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:13.400 can learn. But I'm so glad that you all are 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:14.080 having me today. 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:15.200 Oh my god, thank you. 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:18.319 I appreciate that. I really received that. Sometimes we'd be 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:20.280 talking to the people, but we can't really see anyone, 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:22.800 so it's just like, does any make care? Yeah, this 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.880 morning we had an interview with Essence asking us about 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:28.920 Kiki Palmer's boyfriend. I'm like, They're like, this is what 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.080 they called us for. I'm like, I can't believe Essence 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:35.400 is calling me for this, but hello, And she was like, 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:37.360 did you guys go to school for this? And I 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:39.760 was like for women being free? 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:41.080 I know, we were just talking. 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:42.880 She's like, I just have a question. Did you guys 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:44.600 go to hire learning for this? And me and bl 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:45.360 Lover we're texting on the. 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:47.240 Side, like, I was like, I have a master's degree. 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:49.520 We should start telling people. 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:52.760 We did, like women's studies. We started gender and Sexuality Studies, 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:56.160 women's freedom studies, Liberal women's liberal doctor. 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:58.880 I'm a doctor of freedom, doctor freedom. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:00.520 I'm leading. 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:05.600 It's like, it's like, it's like, what's no, I'm Harriet Tubman, 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:07.440 what why? Wait? 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:08.360 Wait? 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:09.520 Where's this going? 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.720 I'm leading the women to freedom? Oh now, on the underground, 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:17.319 on the manustream railroad. 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:19.480 On the men's stream, the men's stream. The mention. 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.160 And it's so true too, because I remember I don't 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:24.920 know where I saw that, but I remember somebody saying, 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.760 like I can name so many strong black women, but 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.400 I can't name a lot of black women that are free. 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.440 So I think that's what makes you all unique? Is that? How? 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:36.760 I mean? How many strong black women do? You know? Millions? 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:38.400 All of them, you know what I mean. So it's like, 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:41.439 but people like seeing you all get to be yourselves 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:44.000 and don't like you don't feel tied down to anything 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:45.760 like that's very unique. 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:46.640 Oh thank you? 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.920 Wow, it's crazy that that's unique, right, you know? But 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.040 when you think about it, we have to kind of 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:55.959 you kind of have to learn to be comfortable in 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:58.439 our freedom because we've been taught so often to conform 0:11:58.600 --> 0:12:01.120 and to be quiet and take up less space than 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.199 to like just be quiet, you know. So it is 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:06.080 like a tool, a muscle that has to be exercised 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:08.480 to be like am I am? I sure maybe, but 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:14.880 fucked But I might regret this later, but yellow exactly, 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:17.559 there's nothing better I'd rather be known for. 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:18.959 Same. Amen. 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:24.040 Well, So we have never had anyone on the show 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:28.719 talk about fertility and infertility, and I think that this is, 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:30.679 I don't want to say, a taboo topic, but it 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:33.240 is a topic that I think a lot of women 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:38.240 feel ashamed about, or they don't really know where to 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.600 go to get resources, or they think the resources are 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:47.000 beyond them more too expensive to explore. Scared because the 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.360 bitch that's me. I'm like, I've been wanting to go 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:52.920 get my eggs tested for a while because I have 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:55.959 been very dangerous, and the bitch don't get pregnant. So 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:57.040 I was like, is this what they wrong with me? 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:58.520 Because I used to think that even before I had 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:00.520 my daughter, and I was in my twenties and I 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:02.560 was just letting my baby daddy shoot up the club 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:07.839 like every thing that and nothing was happening. So I 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:11.280 was like, am I broke not not to say that 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:12.719 if if you can't have children, are not broken. But 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.679 that's that was really how I felt. And then I 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:16.280 got pregnant. 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:18.199 You know what, I think I just thought of that 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:19.679 because for a long for like over a year and 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:21.160 a half, I was like, I was like, my baby, daddy, 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:22.319 shoot up the club. And I was like, maybe I 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:26.480 can't get pregnant, but I think spiritually, I mean, it's. 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:27.480 Fucked up, bitch. 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:31.720 Don't get pleass fucked up here with this this ideology. 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.000 You was protected by God being she don't get pregnant 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:35.720 by that fuck nigga. 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:37.559 But then God was like, this is the eight hundred 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:39.079 and ninety eighth time you did not I got the 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:40.000 message pregnant. 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.079 You know, I can't try to warry you for real. 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.679 I feel like no, I do feel like not. I'm 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:47.800 not necessarily like I'm been pregnant by some niggs. I 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:49.959 didn't even get pregnant by. But like that, you have 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.520 to like your your body has to want to receive 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:54.679 the sperm. And I do believe in that solid year 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.400 and a half, my God was like, are you. 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:57.120 Sure, bitch? 0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:59.480 Mine was about four years because it was like in 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.360 our prime, damn our prime twenties you know the eggs, 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:03.200 I be one to get out. 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:08.599 Yeah, I was four years like like legit really and 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:10.600 then I got scared. So then I was actually kind 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:12.960 of trying to get pregnant, but like not like saying 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:14.520 that out loud, but. 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:19.920 Just to like check, you get some furz on three earrings. 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:22.960 And then it's true. Actually I got. 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:24.920 I ended up getting pregnant on vacation, and I was 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:28.400 very relaxed, and I was very happy, and I was 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:31.080 very free. And if you read our book A Good 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.720 Mom's Guy to Making Bad Choices, which you can find 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:36.240 on Amazon or Barnes and Noble or your local black bookstore, 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:39.400 or click the link in this episode description, you can 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.360 hear about this story and how anal Sex got me pregnant. 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:45.720 But I need to hear this story. 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:49.480 But yeah, no, I I really I really thought I 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:51.880 couldn't get pregnant, and then I did, and I was like, okay, cool. 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:55.040 But even after since then, I've had partners or i've 0:14:55.200 --> 0:15:00.520 you know, not always maybe been the safest, and I've 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.240 never gotten pregnant. So maybe it is God protecting me again, 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:04.360 or maybe it is my. 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:06.360 Low egg cow who knows. 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:08.960 But I actually went to a doctor and got a 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.280 prescription or whatever a form to go get tested for 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:14.480 get my eggs tested, and I never went because I 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:15.880 got scared. I just never went. 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.040 Well, I guess it's like then if you get this information, 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.640 then what right? But now, you know, I feel like 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:23.760 it's like so appropriate that you're here now, because like 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:25.520 if you're just starting to listen to the show, like 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:27.600 we started, I was twenty nine. We're like twenty nine 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:29.600 and thirty when we started the show, and so like, 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.560 fertility was not even a fucking question. In fact, I 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:35.360 kept getting fucking pregnant like a dumb bitch. And then 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:38.040 I so but as we age and like even some 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.760 of my friends are you know, wanting to have kids 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:42.920 or they're going to get their eggs checked, I'm like, huh. 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:47.200 And now and now that we're considered geriatric pregnancy age, 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:50.280 these are conversations that really should be common you And 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:54.040 I'm also Jeriachic. I hate that word me too. 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:54.560 I hate it. 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:56.760 Don't say that word to know you don't that's that 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:57.240 doesn't exist. 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.760 Let's call it like periatric. I sound like I'm my 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:01.000 he's on a walker. 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.640 It's intentional pregnancy. I feel like if you get pregnant 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:05.840 for thirty five. It's intentional pregnancy. 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:08.840 Listen, listen. My aunt was like, if you choose your 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.440 baby daddy wrong at this age, you just don't do 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:11.800 the fuck. 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:13.920 You know, it's as long as as something. 0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:18.680 I am thirty five. She was like you, I mean, 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.320 come on, because now you got all the tools to 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:21.080 know that. 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:22.560 You know he was you know, he was a baby 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:25.240 daddy material, right right. Listen. 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:27.480 Sometimes you sound like you just got to fuck around 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:28.680 and get a baby and to learn your. 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:30.800 Lesson exactly, exactly. 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:32.360 No, it's even at. 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:34.800 Thirty five, even at forty. You know, you just don't 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.040 know until you do it. And you're like, damn. 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.280 And I think, like you were saying about the test, 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:43.680 I remember so many like people calling in just saying like, oh, 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:45.680 I just watched the show Harlem, and I don't know 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:46.480 if y'all watched. 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:49.120 Harlem, but that was making that's making a good chow. Yeah. 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:50.840 Yeah. But it was like a group of women and 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:53.160 like two of them went and got tested, and that 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.240 like sparked a huge thing amongst black women to start 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:58.400 talking about it. I love that, Oh there's a test 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:01.120 that I can do to see what my ovarian reserve 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:03.360 is and your ovarian reserve is just how many eggs 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:05.239 you have left. So that was probably the test your 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.200 doctor was having you do. And if you get that 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.320 information and it's bad, then you have a decision to make. 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:12.920 Like I have a low ovarian reserve. This means that 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.600 I have a very low chance of getting pregnant, you know, 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:17.280 if I don't make a plan in the next few 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.000 years or I need to freeze my eggs immediately. So 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:22.600 sometimes people don't even want to get the test because 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.439 they're like, I don't want to know. If it happens, 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:26.920 it happens, and if it doesn't, oh well, m yeah, 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:27.960 So how did you. 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:29.560 Get into this work? 0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:32.399 Like, as obviously you're a doctor, did you always know 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:34.800 you wanted to be in women's health in that way 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:38.920 as you journeyed into doctorhood? No? 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:41.359 No, So I actually went to school to be a 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.560 naturopathic doctor, and then once I. 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:46.520 Was in school, it's a naturopathic doctor. 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:50.200 So a naturopathic doctor they're classified as like primary care doctors. 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.280 But we believe that, like we believe in the body's 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:55.800 abilities to heal itself. So like prevention is cure. I 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.520 love that and it you know, I feel like more 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:03.160 doctor and more spaces are adopting this, like functional medicine 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:06.359 or root calls medicine. It's just naturopathic medicine with a 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:10.040 bow on it. But we really believe that our bodies 0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:12.720 are capable of doing anything. And that's how I entered 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:15.919 into the space of fertility. So when I first got started, 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.600 I had a friend Melanie, whose mom was obgyn in Atlanta, 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:21.440 and I was like, I don't know what I want 0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:22.960 to do. I know I want to do women's health, 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:26.000 and so I went to their practice in midtown Atlanta 0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:28.320 and I kept seeing all of these women because they 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:30.320 were all able to get pregnant. But then I was 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:33.480 seeing the women that couldn't get pregnant, and I was like, well, 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:35.720 what happens to them? You know? And they were like, oh, 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.960 I don't know, uh, you know, we have to just 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:40.720 refer them out, like it's literally nothing. And it was 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:42.440 so it was so quiet in the room. 0:18:42.560 --> 0:18:45.040 It was like like no one had ever asked this question. 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:45.440 Yeah. 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:47.760 It was just like they were like, oh, sorry, it's 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:50.320 been a year, you know, or it's been six months, 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:51.880 so we got to refer you out. But you could 0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:56.200 literally feel the silence and so I was just like, Okay, 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.120 where do those women go? And that's what I want 0:18:58.160 --> 0:19:00.119 to figure out. And so I was in school in 0:19:00.240 --> 0:19:02.960 San Diego, finishing up med school, and there was a 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:06.159 doctor who worked at San Diego Fertility Center and she 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:09.120 wanted to work specifically o good. She wanted to work 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:12.480 I'll be all time tied. She wanted to work specifically 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:15.880 with naturopathic medical students because she was trying to see 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:19.720 how the environment affected our fertility. And so she was 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.840 doing all this research just like the actual like just 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:30.639 environment earth yes, or like plastics, pollution, mercury, arsenic. So 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:33.720 she was actually testing these things in very young women 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:36.040 who couldn't get pregnant. And so she was just looking 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:37.719 for people to help her with the research. And that's 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:38.800 literally how I got in. 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:41.359 Wait, I'm so curious about this research though, Like what was. 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:43.960 Handsmaid's Tale? 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:48.280 The first so true, it's real. So it showed that 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.119 especially people that traveled to like China, like a lot 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:54.600 of her patients were people that like traveled often, or 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:57.560 even people in California that you know, maybe ate a 0:19:57.600 --> 0:20:00.320 lot of sushi, ate a lot of fish. She it 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:02.440 just didn't make sense to her that people in their 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:05.840 twenties were not able to get pregnant, and she's like, 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:08.879 this is this is like the ideal time. So something's 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:11.320 going on. So she would literally do blood tests and 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:14.680 urine test to look for like arsenic camium ten mercury, 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:17.119 and every single time it just lit up. 0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:19.439 I'm scared. I eat a lot of fish. I'm stopping. 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:20.080 No more fish. 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:23.359 Then yeah, So it literally it literally showed how those 0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:26.639 things impacted, you know, your fertility. And so she was 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:28.800 doing that and then I worked with her for a 0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:30.720 few years and then lo and behold, I met a 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:32.879 doctor in Beverly Hills. He was doing the same thing, 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:34.320 and that's how I got my first job. 0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:37.640 And mmm, wow doing it for a while now that's amazing. 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.159 Yeah, you saw an issue and a problem and then 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:42.800 you said, hey, how can I resolve that? Yeah, especially 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:46.000 for like it's so like just brown and black women specifically, 0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:47.440 to see something that looks like you and be able 0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:50.280 to feel comfortable in that space because it is, I think, 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:52.840 and people people don't even know it's an option, because 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:55.920 freezing your eggs is a luxury, and so it's like 0:20:56.000 --> 0:20:57.720 if that's not even an option in your mind, you 0:20:57.760 --> 0:21:00.200 don't even think about, you know, all those things so 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:02.000 do your work is so important. 0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:04.639 Thank you, Thank you. You really don't think about it. 0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:07.280 And I think it was so important for me to 0:21:07.400 --> 0:21:10.080 follow the path that I did, because I think that 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:13.920 sometimes the wires can get crossed, you know, like when 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:16.600 people try to step on other people's hos. Like if 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:18.240 you break your arm, you can now go see a 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:20.479 naturopathic doctor. You got to go see a surgeon, right, 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:22.239 you know what I mean. I think that sometimes that's 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:23.960 where it gets messed up. But like a lot of 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:25.720 the doctors that I've been lucky enough to work with, 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:29.240 they understand that prevention is also a part of the treatment, 0:21:29.600 --> 0:21:31.480 you know. And so we would work with people that 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:34.520 were very young, had a very low Oberian reserve. We 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:37.479 would test like their heavy metals there, you know, if 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:40.399 they were depleted in micronutrients, we would restore that and 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:41.960 then it would allow them to have like a better 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:44.639 outcome for egg freezing and stuff like that. But what 0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:46.800 I noticed, and I was working in Beverly Hill, so 0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:50.160 I get it, but I started noticing that white women 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:53.840 were bringing their eighteen year old daughters in to have 0:21:53.920 --> 0:21:55.879 their ovarian reserve test. It. So they're like, oh, my 0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:57.720 daughter wants to go to law school or med. 0:21:57.600 --> 0:21:59.399 School, or we want to see how long we have 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:01.520 what right the parent? 0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:04.399 The parents they were like, I want to see you 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:05.840 know what her bearing a reserve is? 0:22:05.960 --> 0:22:07.560 Like why is that any mouses? 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.440 First of all, but they were helping me and maybe 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:12.200 it's kind or maybe it runs in their family, like 0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:14.760 sometimes you know, if the only menipies is something like 0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:18.000 a generic I mean genetic, can I get it? 0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:19.560 Yeah, I guess. I guess. 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:21.560 Maybe I would hope it would be more the daughter. 0:22:23.160 --> 0:22:24.840 Maybe not. I don't know. It's not like they're forced. 0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:29.160 Maybe you're gonna get those I just not like Candmaid's Tale. 0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:30.760 I was like, oh my god, this creepy. 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.240 But I could see in actually empowering your child to 0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:35.600 kind of just have a ton not kind of having 0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:38.439 autonomy over your body and having as much information as 0:22:38.520 --> 0:22:39.919 possible exactly. 0:22:40.280 --> 0:22:42.879 And they were so young, and so as women, we 0:22:42.960 --> 0:22:44.680 are born with all the eggs will ever have. So 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:47.760 bringing them in at eighteen is allowing them to see like, oh, 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:50.080 this is what my fertility health is like in the present. 0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:52.119 I may I may need to go ahead and freeze 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:54.440 my eggs now. So then in the future, when I'm 0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:56.960 done with med school, law school, I'm thirty five forty, 0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:00.800 I have eggs from when I'm eighteen. But that is right, 0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:02.600 So that's privilege though you. 0:23:02.720 --> 0:23:05.800 Have your like those are your highest agg even right 0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:08.320 now if we froze our So I just recently had 0:23:09.359 --> 0:23:11.480 Luna's aunt went to this process and explained it to me, 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:12.760 and I was like, lo, and I told her you 0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:14.919 were coming on the show, but I had no idea 0:23:15.080 --> 0:23:17.840 the level, like you have to get the prime mist eggs. 0:23:18.000 --> 0:23:20.480 So essentially, if we froze our eighteen year old eggs, 0:23:20.520 --> 0:23:21.800 a there's a lot of them, and be they're the 0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:24.520 best so and versus us freezing them right now, it's 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:26.520 like they're all not gonna make it. And now it's like, oh, 0:23:26.560 --> 0:23:28.200 it's gonna be your thirty five year old eggs and 0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:30.080 that's your potent eighteen year old ones. 0:23:30.240 --> 0:23:34.560 Are people just like are people just genetically I guess 0:23:35.000 --> 0:23:38.320 predisposed to having like some people just have more eggs 0:23:38.359 --> 0:23:40.760 from the beginning, or like there's not a certain amount 0:23:40.800 --> 0:23:44.320 of eggs a human has, right, so you could you 0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:47.960 could just genuinely be born with a low egg count 0:23:48.240 --> 0:23:51.280 or is it ever low and it or just suddenly decreases. 0:23:51.400 --> 0:23:53.840 I'm sure there's other factors involved, like health and all 0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:54.440 those things. 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:57.119 Exactly, Yes, So it just decreases over time. So we 0:23:57.240 --> 0:23:59.240 all start with a pretty good amount of eggs, and 0:23:59.280 --> 0:24:01.800 then over time we just lose more and more. Like 0:24:01.880 --> 0:24:03.960 by the time we have our first period, we're already 0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:07.040 down a ton, and so we lose them over time. 0:24:07.119 --> 0:24:09.440 But like you're saying, but you're you're losing eggs even 0:24:09.480 --> 0:24:11.720 before your first period, no, which is trash. 0:24:12.280 --> 0:24:14.960 So like I was losing I was losing eggs at ten. 0:24:15.760 --> 0:24:18.040 It's like literally and it like I can't remember the 0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:21.719 exact number, but like literally, as we're aging, we're already 0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:23.960 losing eggs, like we're born with all the eggs we 0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:26.840 have quite literally born with, and then by the time 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:29.520 we have our first period, we're already down a ton. 0:24:30.040 --> 0:24:32.440 But that's why we're always so skeptical, like, oh, how 0:24:32.520 --> 0:24:35.600 are these teenagers getting pregnant so early? Because they're supposed 0:24:35.640 --> 0:24:40.800 to because genetically that's how they're just like right, right, yeah, yeah, 0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:46.119 so right right, because I don't know that, but not 0:24:46.200 --> 0:24:46.639 supposed to. 0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:49.080 I don't because. 0:24:53.000 --> 0:24:53.800 Not figured it out. 0:24:54.119 --> 0:24:56.320 You're fertile as fuck right now, like this is why 0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:59.320 it's happening. But but yeah, I think like just seeing 0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:01.920 those girls, it really helped me to see like I 0:25:02.000 --> 0:25:05.000 have to create a space for black women to know, like, girl, 0:25:05.040 --> 0:25:07.040 you need to at least just see where you are, 0:25:07.520 --> 0:25:09.399 you know, because sometimes we don't feel like that's a 0:25:09.480 --> 0:25:11.760 possibility for us to even just know where we are, 0:25:11.920 --> 0:25:13.919 or we just don't want to know, or we assume 0:25:13.960 --> 0:25:15.520 like I'll be fine, like my mom was fine, so 0:25:15.600 --> 0:25:17.800 I'll be fine, And that's not always the case. 0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:21.280 Okay, get your eggs checked together. 0:25:23.040 --> 0:25:27.480 Will you hold my hand when we get the results? Yes, 0:25:28.880 --> 0:25:31.160 well you want me some eggs if I need them. 0:25:33.359 --> 0:25:35.320 I don't think you're lacking in the egg department, my love, 0:25:35.480 --> 0:25:38.200 I think you are. You are a Jamaican egg holder. 0:25:39.920 --> 0:25:42.200 I was thinking that that maybe I have a too many, 0:25:42.920 --> 0:25:45.399 maybe you have your teenage eggs still. But that's another 0:25:45.440 --> 0:25:47.639 thing that I learned, is that because one of my 0:25:47.680 --> 0:25:50.600 friends got her eggs checked and then she she was 0:25:50.640 --> 0:25:53.119 saying like hers are good but not great, or like 0:25:53.200 --> 0:25:55.240 how are the amounts or the quality of it, and 0:25:55.800 --> 0:25:58.560 the doctor was telling her they could be great today 0:25:58.960 --> 0:26:02.120 six months from now, those motherfuckers could be like, yeah, 0:26:02.119 --> 0:26:03.360 there's there's no way. 0:26:03.280 --> 0:26:05.000 To little fear, I know. 0:26:05.520 --> 0:26:07.760 And that's why it's like maybe I understand like not 0:26:07.880 --> 0:26:10.639 knowing just but also we have the and this is 0:26:10.840 --> 0:26:12.520 not the piece but kind of the pieces that we 0:26:12.680 --> 0:26:15.600 already have experienced that we have one child. So for 0:26:15.720 --> 0:26:20.880 someone who has had not had any children, and you know, right, 0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:23.040 and you know, it is empowering, and it is like 0:26:23.200 --> 0:26:26.800 and we are like like about the eighteen year olds going, 0:26:26.920 --> 0:26:29.119 but I'm like, if we were born into money and 0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:31.040 they're born to money and their money, they would be like, 0:26:31.080 --> 0:26:33.399 of course we're going to the dentist today. You know, 0:26:33.640 --> 0:26:36.199 you don't have to, but you can, you know, it's just. 0:26:38.400 --> 0:26:39.520 I don't know, you can't. 0:26:41.200 --> 0:26:43.440 Do you want your eggs reserved? Your eighteen year old eggs? 0:26:43.440 --> 0:26:46.600 Come on, come on lad, right, right, let's just fifteen 0:26:46.680 --> 0:26:47.920 k you know, let's just do it. 0:26:48.200 --> 0:26:50.520 Yeah, because it's super expensive and it's and that's another thing. 0:26:50.560 --> 0:26:53.119 It's also very like kind of trying on the body. Right, 0:26:53.160 --> 0:26:55.600 you have to administer yourself shots, you have to see 0:26:55.600 --> 0:26:57.399 the doctor every day or every other day, like you 0:26:57.480 --> 0:26:59.680 have to go to the doctor's office every other day. 0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:02.639 You're and so you have to commit and then I 0:27:02.840 --> 0:27:04.960 got all these other things right, And it can take 0:27:05.040 --> 0:27:07.160 like six weeks, it can take two months because they're 0:27:07.200 --> 0:27:09.639 testing your eggs cont hopefully if you have a good doctor. 0:27:09.760 --> 0:27:11.399 Wait to get tested, you have to do all this 0:27:11.680 --> 0:27:13.880 or to actually freeze freeze. 0:27:13.600 --> 0:27:15.960 Okay, well to freeze you have to start looking at 0:27:16.000 --> 0:27:18.080 the eggs and getting the healthiest eggs. So they have 0:27:18.160 --> 0:27:20.359 to monitor you. So in order to do that, do 0:27:20.440 --> 0:27:22.639 have a significant amount of time. And then you have 0:27:22.720 --> 0:27:24.680 to do all these things, these hormone shots to up 0:27:24.720 --> 0:27:27.480 the eggs and make them the primest eggs. And so 0:27:27.680 --> 0:27:30.000 that may take one month, that may take two months. 0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:31.840 Like you think I'm the FIA, I know. I'm like, 0:27:31.960 --> 0:27:34.879 are you the fertility pressure? 0:27:36.080 --> 0:27:36.560 I had one? 0:27:36.680 --> 0:27:38.760 I had, So I just had this conversation. I was like, 0:27:38.840 --> 0:27:41.120 who fucking knew? I had no idea. Everyone's talking about 0:27:41.119 --> 0:27:42.480 like freeze and eggs. I'm like, what is that? 0:27:42.560 --> 0:27:43.440 Even in tail? 0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:43.679 Right? 0:27:43.880 --> 0:27:46.120 Is she gonna for hear it? So wait, let's talk 0:27:46.119 --> 0:27:49.080 about the pricing because I've always I'm always at like, 0:27:49.520 --> 0:27:53.439 is it I mean, obviously this is a privilege if 0:27:53.440 --> 0:27:55.920 you can do something like this in ways right, can 0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:57.840 you Is there any way to put this on insurance? 0:27:57.960 --> 0:28:00.200 Is there any way to like, are they things you 0:28:00.280 --> 0:28:04.160 can get around this? Because like, what are the options 0:28:04.200 --> 0:28:06.840 for people that don't have just fifteen thousands of fifteen 0:28:06.840 --> 0:28:10.080 thousand dollars of disposable income to do something like that? 0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:11.160 Yeah, that's real. 0:28:11.320 --> 0:28:15.480 Get a sugar daddy, can't image one? Get a sugari 0:28:15.640 --> 0:28:17.720 step one, Get a sugar daddy, step two. 0:28:18.400 --> 0:28:20.520 But no, but no, it is super expensive. 0:28:20.560 --> 0:28:22.840 It's fifteen thousand dollars. It's like the average price in 0:28:22.880 --> 0:28:26.720 the US. Most insurances don't cover it, which is so trash. 0:28:26.880 --> 0:28:32.560 But most insurances make you qualify as infertile before paying 0:28:32.600 --> 0:28:35.359 for any type of fertility care. So what a lot 0:28:35.400 --> 0:28:38.320 of people do is they find jobs that cover this care. 0:28:38.760 --> 0:28:40.960 So the health tech company I work at, we work 0:28:41.080 --> 0:28:44.880 with employers to make sure employees have a fertility benefit. 0:28:45.320 --> 0:28:47.080 So what a lot of young women have been doing 0:28:47.200 --> 0:28:49.840 is getting like part time jobs at big tech companies 0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:53.320 or Starbucks. There are different like small companies where you 0:28:53.320 --> 0:28:55.400 can work for them even part time and they have 0:28:55.560 --> 0:28:56.720 that fertility benefit. 0:28:57.000 --> 0:28:57.960 At Starbucks you can do that. 0:28:58.200 --> 0:29:00.320 So you gotta have work part time at a a 0:29:00.400 --> 0:29:02.920 company that believes in your fertility to be able to 0:29:03.000 --> 0:29:04.960 avoid the fifteen to twenty five thousand. 0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:11.240 Wild So, like when you do get tested for infertility, 0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:12.640 what is that process, Like, what. 0:29:12.720 --> 0:29:14.120 Do you have to do? 0:29:14.560 --> 0:29:18.360 Yeah, so it's called Oberian reserve testing, and it's a 0:29:18.400 --> 0:29:20.320 blood test, simple blood tests that they do, you know, 0:29:20.360 --> 0:29:22.560 when you go to the doctor, and they'll look at 0:29:22.600 --> 0:29:24.840 like three different things. So typically they'll look at like 0:29:24.960 --> 0:29:28.680 your follical stimulating hormone, your anti malarian hormone, and your 0:29:28.840 --> 0:29:31.920 estrogen and all of these hormones together tell the doctor 0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:34.680 like how many eggs you have left. So that's what 0:29:34.800 --> 0:29:36.840 they do to kind of assess like where you are in. 0:29:36.920 --> 0:29:39.200 Time, so you don't have to like go to a 0:29:39.280 --> 0:29:40.160 certain time of the month. 0:29:40.680 --> 0:29:42.600 Yes, yeah, so you do have to go on day 0:29:42.680 --> 0:29:43.640 three of your period. 0:29:43.760 --> 0:29:44.000 Okay. 0:29:44.360 --> 0:29:48.320 So typically what they'll say is yeah, yeah, they'll say, 0:29:48.360 --> 0:29:50.560 call me as soon as your period starts, and then 0:29:50.600 --> 0:29:52.640 when your period starts, they'll have you come in around 0:29:52.720 --> 0:29:56.520 day three and they'll do the testing. But everybody doesn't 0:29:56.560 --> 0:29:59.880 have a normal period, so it creates like all types 0:29:59.880 --> 0:30:02.520 of of like trouble for people to have pcos or 0:30:03.000 --> 0:30:05.640 you know, other endocrent conditions. People that you know don't 0:30:05.720 --> 0:30:08.400 have periods at all. It makes it really hard. Or 0:30:08.960 --> 0:30:10.680 a lot of women have been on birth control for 0:30:10.920 --> 0:30:13.000 twenty years and they're like, oh, I still get my 0:30:13.080 --> 0:30:16.000 period because you know that month I take the white 0:30:16.040 --> 0:30:17.800 pills or the last week I take the white pills, 0:30:18.040 --> 0:30:20.080 that's my period. And I'm like, no, it's not a 0:30:20.160 --> 0:30:23.000 real period, like it's a withdrawal blead. So a lot 0:30:23.040 --> 0:30:25.600 of people aren't getting periods, so they don't really know 0:30:25.720 --> 0:30:28.000 when to go, but typically it should be on day three. 0:30:28.680 --> 0:30:32.560 Does having an IUD or some kind of implanted or 0:30:32.800 --> 0:30:36.360 even being on regular birth control, does that affect the testing? 0:30:37.200 --> 0:30:39.280 Yes, so that does affect the testing. And what most 0:30:39.320 --> 0:30:43.040 doctors will do iud's they leave am in. Now they 0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:45.840 used to take them out first just so they can 0:30:45.880 --> 0:30:48.800 get like an accurate number. But what they'll do now 0:30:48.840 --> 0:30:50.480 if it's an IUD, they'll let you leave it in 0:30:50.680 --> 0:30:53.080 and still run the test. But if you're taking birth control, 0:30:53.280 --> 0:30:55.960 they'll typically ask you to stop for a month and 0:30:56.040 --> 0:30:56.680 then come back. 0:30:57.680 --> 0:31:00.320 Yeah, what about a non hormonal birth contry, Well. 0:31:00.760 --> 0:31:03.280 Yeah, that's how you find Does that affect copper? 0:31:03.360 --> 0:31:05.200 Yeah, the copper doesn't also affect the count. 0:31:05.600 --> 0:31:08.640 No, so copper ruds are the best option because they 0:31:08.680 --> 0:31:11.400 don't have any hormones, so your body can actually give 0:31:11.440 --> 0:31:13.200 a real result. Yeah. 0:31:13.600 --> 0:31:18.600 One time, one time at story one time, one of 0:31:18.640 --> 0:31:21.520 the other soccer moms told me that if my periods 0:31:21.600 --> 0:31:22.360 are short. 0:31:22.320 --> 0:31:26.080 You're never gonna let this bitch live this down about 0:31:26.120 --> 0:31:27.880 this she's been thinking about this for two years. But 0:31:27.960 --> 0:31:29.800 when she told me, I was I was like, bitch, 0:31:29.880 --> 0:31:30.600 what I told you? 0:31:30.960 --> 0:31:32.080 I was like, you think that's true? 0:31:32.120 --> 0:31:33.920 And then you made me man. 0:31:34.400 --> 0:31:36.440 She told me that if you have because I generally 0:31:36.800 --> 0:31:39.360 don't have a very long period, like maybe five days. 0:31:40.600 --> 0:31:43.240 Now that I'm on this copper iud, I feel like 0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:45.280 the periods are kind of a little bit. 0:31:45.280 --> 0:31:47.120 Like five days is pretty average. 0:31:47.760 --> 0:31:50.680 But anyway, she told me, the shorter your periods are, 0:31:50.680 --> 0:31:51.840 I means you have less X. 0:31:52.760 --> 0:32:00.320 That is not true. My came out she was people 0:32:00.440 --> 0:32:01.160 just be saying ship. 0:32:03.240 --> 0:32:05.160 Well, yeah, she was projecting. 0:32:07.040 --> 0:32:09.760 How do you feel about birth control? Because I know, 0:32:10.000 --> 0:32:14.480 like there's currently most there's a lot of talk about help. 0:32:14.560 --> 0:32:17.400 Birth control you know kind of alters your decision making 0:32:17.400 --> 0:32:19.760 because your hormones are being regulated, and like who you 0:32:19.840 --> 0:32:21.800 choose a partner and things like that, and just being 0:32:21.840 --> 0:32:24.320 on a long term you know, hasn't really been No 0:32:24.360 --> 0:32:26.479 one really talks about the long term effects of being 0:32:26.520 --> 0:32:32.080 on birth control, and like wait, and then recently our producer, 0:32:33.320 --> 0:32:35.480 our producer told me that it was terrible, and so 0:32:35.560 --> 0:32:37.000 I just got off birth control. 0:32:37.840 --> 0:32:40.120 Bad idea, but. 0:32:43.160 --> 0:32:43.840 Not r told you. 0:32:45.840 --> 0:32:47.680 All around that. I'm like, fuck birth control. You're right, 0:32:47.680 --> 0:32:51.920 it's it's poisoning me. It's poisoning me. But like, as 0:32:51.920 --> 0:32:54.320 a fertility doctor, what do you recommend as a like 0:32:54.400 --> 0:32:56.880 what is your go like, what do you use as contraceptive? 0:32:57.200 --> 0:32:59.480 Yeah? Yeah, So I got off birth control a couple 0:32:59.520 --> 0:33:02.000 of years ago because I do want to be pregnant soon. 0:33:02.880 --> 0:33:04.880 And the biggest thing with birth control is that it 0:33:05.000 --> 0:33:07.520 really can alter your hormones. It can alter like a 0:33:07.600 --> 0:33:09.680 lot of your micronutrients in your body, and it does 0:33:09.760 --> 0:33:14.040 affect like your mood, your behavior, everything. But I think 0:33:14.120 --> 0:33:19.080 that in today's society, with so much like attention around abortion, 0:33:19.360 --> 0:33:22.200 you know, some people can actually get a felony, you 0:33:22.240 --> 0:33:23.880 can go to jail. I think that if you're in 0:33:23.920 --> 0:33:27.480 a state where people are really monitoring you, and if 0:33:27.480 --> 0:33:30.000 you get pregnant, like the worst will happen. You absolutely 0:33:30.080 --> 0:33:32.800 need to be on birth control, like, no questions asked. 0:33:33.800 --> 0:33:35.600 But however, if you know, like I do, want to 0:33:35.600 --> 0:33:38.320 get pregnant in the next five years, you know, even 0:33:38.360 --> 0:33:40.160 if you don't necessarily have a partner, I do think 0:33:40.200 --> 0:33:42.800 it's important to just give your body a break, especially 0:33:42.800 --> 0:33:44.800 if you've been on it for like ten plus years. 0:33:45.160 --> 0:33:46.680 You want to give your body a break to see, 0:33:46.760 --> 0:33:49.320 like are my cycles even regular or has this birth 0:33:49.360 --> 0:33:52.960 control been masking my period? So I think it's important 0:33:52.960 --> 0:33:54.440 to give your body a break so you can get 0:33:54.520 --> 0:33:56.800 like the right testing done so you can really see 0:33:56.840 --> 0:33:58.720 where you are. Because if you're in a good place, 0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:01.120 then you can say, Okay, in a good place, I'm 0:34:01.160 --> 0:34:04.120 not really ready to get pregnant right now. I'll start again. 0:34:04.840 --> 0:34:06.840 But I think it's important to like have a plan. 0:34:07.000 --> 0:34:09.360 That's what I'm all about. It's like fertility planning or 0:34:09.440 --> 0:34:12.080 family planning, because I think it just kind of saves 0:34:12.120 --> 0:34:13.640 you a lot of stress down the line. 0:34:14.960 --> 0:34:19.680 Yeah, I was reading this statistic and it was that 0:34:20.440 --> 0:34:24.360 it was like forty eight million couples are struggling with 0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:25.680 infertility around the world. 0:34:25.760 --> 0:34:27.960 I was like, forty eight million. 0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:30.160 Oh yeah, so that brings me back. That's what I 0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:32.719 had a question about. Thank you the doctor in San 0:34:32.800 --> 0:34:36.719 Diego who did the studies about the environment. What were 0:34:36.760 --> 0:34:38.680 the findings, Like, is there somewhere we should live that 0:34:38.840 --> 0:34:41.759 maybe we'd have better chances? Is it in the water, Well, 0:34:42.520 --> 0:34:45.160 there's been studies about like fish in the stream that 0:34:45.280 --> 0:34:47.440 are are like the streams that are being let out, 0:34:47.560 --> 0:34:50.279 like because there's so many pharmaceuticals in this in those 0:34:50.480 --> 0:34:53.279 like the water, there's definitely there's studies of fish turning 0:34:53.360 --> 0:34:54.400 from like male to female. 0:34:54.800 --> 0:34:56.239 I remember I remember hearing that. 0:34:56.520 --> 0:35:00.480 So if that's happening to small you know, small animal like, 0:35:00.600 --> 0:35:02.520 it's definitely changing our you know. 0:35:03.520 --> 0:35:07.719 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and her findings really did show 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:11.200 that things from our environment really do impact our fertility, 0:35:11.320 --> 0:35:14.560 especially especially in couples that present it as like subfertile. 0:35:14.680 --> 0:35:17.239 So these are like people that are otherwise healthy, but 0:35:17.360 --> 0:35:19.840 she can't really figure out why they can't get pregnant 0:35:19.960 --> 0:35:22.080 or their markers are just a little bit below normal. 0:35:22.560 --> 0:35:27.040 But it did show that it's not just right create 0:35:28.480 --> 0:35:34.319 But no, but it was it was true. It was true. 0:35:37.480 --> 0:35:47.120 I didn't mean it, but no, it showed that, you know, 0:35:47.320 --> 0:35:50.600 especially like plastics heavy metals, you know, mercury. All these 0:35:50.680 --> 0:35:54.800 things really were impacting like the outcome of their treatment cycles. 0:35:54.800 --> 0:35:56.680 And what she would do, which I thought was brilliant, 0:35:57.120 --> 0:35:59.560 was that instead of saying like living a box, living 0:35:59.600 --> 0:36:01.759 a cube, which is unrealistic, she would do like a 0:36:01.800 --> 0:36:05.520 detoxification protocol, which was like a thousand dollars per person. 0:36:05.920 --> 0:36:07.480 This is another privilege. 0:36:07.640 --> 0:36:09.800 What's a detox vacation protocol? 0:36:10.200 --> 0:36:11.640 And should we should we just be doing that once 0:36:11.680 --> 0:36:14.360 a year just for learning an Americans. 0:36:14.360 --> 0:36:16.279 In general often do you do it a year for 0:36:16.360 --> 0:36:17.000 the detox? 0:36:17.120 --> 0:36:20.080 And also is all this pollution? Is it population control? 0:36:21.120 --> 0:36:22.759 Wait? What is detox? 0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:24.400 What did you call it? 0:36:24.560 --> 0:36:26.800 It was a detoxification protocol that she would do. 0:36:27.040 --> 0:36:28.200 Wait is it a vacation? 0:36:28.760 --> 0:36:32.520 Now? That was some good ass whatever. 0:36:33.239 --> 0:36:38.080 That's not that's not that is a that's nelly, that's 0:36:38.800 --> 0:36:39.480 some strong gas. 0:36:40.080 --> 0:36:43.520 She can't hear. She's like, what is a vacation? 0:36:44.640 --> 0:36:47.759 She said, a detox vacation protocol? 0:36:50.000 --> 0:36:51.520 And I don't want to say too, but your eyes 0:36:51.520 --> 0:36:52.959 have been like gitting lower. 0:36:53.520 --> 0:36:54.120 She passed it to me. 0:36:54.160 --> 0:36:55.359 I was like, we need to put that out. 0:36:56.239 --> 0:36:58.160 That was like, that's that's something for saying this feeling 0:36:58.239 --> 0:37:01.719 like like fourteen she God, we might need to put 0:37:01.719 --> 0:37:02.600 the rest of is on Patreo. 0:37:06.960 --> 0:37:09.200 Yeah, anyway, sorry, I'm awake. 0:37:09.320 --> 0:37:11.960 I just I'm here in present. 0:37:12.840 --> 0:37:15.040 I was just focusing on every syllable that you said. 0:37:15.960 --> 0:37:17.480 It's just it's one word. 0:37:18.200 --> 0:37:22.960 Trufication, Like damn, what kind of it's a fast and 0:37:23.040 --> 0:37:24.719 dollars right, and she heard. 0:37:25.160 --> 0:37:28.200 But how long does that detoxification last? I mean, how 0:37:28.760 --> 0:37:30.560 like is it once a year and then you're good? 0:37:30.680 --> 0:37:33.080 You're like, or you have to do it many times? 0:37:33.239 --> 0:37:35.560 Is it like a series of detoxification? 0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:38.600 Yeah, we were doing it over a six month period 0:37:38.640 --> 0:37:41.359 because it was for research studies. So what we would 0:37:41.400 --> 0:37:44.399 do is modify like the diet of course, so making 0:37:44.400 --> 0:37:47.239 sure that you're having more cruciferous vegetables, which are just 0:37:47.280 --> 0:37:50.279 like dark leafy vegetables that bind toxins and help you 0:37:50.360 --> 0:37:52.680 excrete them. We would do like supplements to help you 0:37:52.760 --> 0:37:57.040 also excrete, and then like sauna therapy too, super simple, 0:37:57.160 --> 0:37:59.840 so not anything that was like very expensive, but because 0:37:59.840 --> 0:38:03.000 she is the doctor, like using her time, it was expensive. 0:38:03.160 --> 0:38:07.880 But what really stood out to me was how the 0:38:07.920 --> 0:38:09.440 only people that could get it were people that could 0:38:09.480 --> 0:38:12.480 afford that you know what I mean, Like, and there 0:38:12.560 --> 0:38:15.799 aren't only white women or you know, other brown women 0:38:15.920 --> 0:38:17.960 that need this care. There are other women that also 0:38:18.080 --> 0:38:20.560 need to have this type of care. But who has 0:38:20.640 --> 0:38:22.200 an extra thousand dollars. 0:38:22.440 --> 0:38:24.440 To say, yeah, just detoxing from the air that I 0:38:24.520 --> 0:38:25.000 have to bring. 0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:27.120 Just let me just see. You know, I don't know 0:38:27.120 --> 0:38:28.600 if it'll work, but let me just see. And that's 0:38:28.640 --> 0:38:31.520 why I really wanted to start the Fertility Advantage, to 0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:34.359 just kind of start throwing shit out there because I knew, like, Okay, 0:38:34.440 --> 0:38:36.719 I can't see everybody at this clinic. I know people 0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:38.640 don't want to pay this money, but how can I 0:38:38.719 --> 0:38:40.759 get this information out to my girl? So I was like, 0:38:40.880 --> 0:38:43.160 I'm just gonna start making posts about it, you know, 0:38:43.239 --> 0:38:44.840 and I'll see if it helps. And you know a 0:38:44.880 --> 0:38:46.719 lot of people start reaching out like, oh shit, that's 0:38:46.760 --> 0:38:49.080 what was wrong with me, you know, or this small 0:38:49.120 --> 0:38:52.000 little thing like helped make a big difference. So, you know, 0:38:52.320 --> 0:38:55.440 to me, it's unrealistic to think that you can just 0:38:55.560 --> 0:38:59.640 block yourself from everything, but you can like make small 0:38:59.680 --> 0:39:01.960 little changes in your day to day to help like 0:39:02.040 --> 0:39:03.680 optimize your chances and things like that. 0:39:05.200 --> 0:39:08.800 What is your I guess maybe experience or knowledge on IVF, 0:39:08.960 --> 0:39:11.239 because usually that's kind of like the next step after 0:39:11.480 --> 0:39:15.560 you've decided that you know, conceiving you know, I don't. 0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:18.400 I guess naturally is not in the cards for you. 0:39:18.760 --> 0:39:21.840 And so you're now going into IVF And I have 0:39:22.080 --> 0:39:24.400 had a friend, a distant friend that did it, So 0:39:24.480 --> 0:39:26.440 I don't really know like all the details, and I 0:39:26.480 --> 0:39:29.080 think there's a lot of it's almost like mystery around 0:39:29.160 --> 0:39:33.440 what it is and the process and the like how 0:39:33.520 --> 0:39:37.719 you feel throughout the process. So, yeah, what is your 0:39:37.920 --> 0:39:38.480 knowledge on that? 0:39:38.719 --> 0:39:40.800 Yeah? Absolutely, So that was a big part of what 0:39:41.360 --> 0:39:43.920 I did in my previous job or supported my supervisor 0:39:44.000 --> 0:39:45.560 in that role, and that's what I do a lot now. 0:39:46.600 --> 0:39:49.359 But the biggest thing with IVF is that number one, 0:39:49.400 --> 0:39:52.239 your insurance can cover it. So if you have been 0:39:52.280 --> 0:39:55.120 trying to have if you have been trying to get 0:39:55.160 --> 0:39:57.640 pregnant for a year and you've had no success, this 0:39:57.760 --> 0:40:00.799 is like unprotected sex for a full year, that will 0:40:01.080 --> 0:40:04.279 that would like classify you as infertile. What Yeah, so 0:40:04.360 --> 0:40:06.799 basically that was infertile. I'm infertile, right, and that's under 0:40:06.840 --> 0:40:09.120 thirty five. If you're over thirty five, it's six months 0:40:09.160 --> 0:40:12.319 of unprotected sex, I'm infertile. Wait, if you're over thirty five, 0:40:12.600 --> 0:40:15.440 it's six months of unprotected sex and not a successful pregnancy. 0:40:15.520 --> 0:40:18.399 That would be Why does the window get shorter when 0:40:18.440 --> 0:40:18.959 you get older. 0:40:19.480 --> 0:40:22.279 Yeah, it's because, like again, as women were born with 0:40:22.360 --> 0:40:25.399 all the eggs will ever have, and so at thirty five, 0:40:25.600 --> 0:40:28.440 that's when researchers see that they start to see that decline. 0:40:29.120 --> 0:40:30.759 So that's why they give you that six month window 0:40:30.840 --> 0:40:33.000 to say like, oh, so you have you need to 0:40:33.080 --> 0:40:33.720 go get tested. 0:40:33.840 --> 0:40:36.440 Well yeah, basically, but that only gives you twelve times 0:40:36.640 --> 0:40:39.000 to be like prove because right, because it's not like 0:40:39.080 --> 0:40:42.520 today that you're not get pregnant, right, like yeah, like. 0:40:42.719 --> 0:40:46.040 Typically like a five day like fertile window. Okay, yeah yeah, 0:40:46.080 --> 0:40:49.400 but typically the good thing is that oftentimes IVF can 0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:51.800 be covered. And what a lot of people don't know 0:40:51.960 --> 0:40:53.800 is that, yes, there are like one in eight couples 0:40:53.840 --> 0:40:56.760 that suffer with infertility, but ninety percent of the cases 0:40:57.360 --> 0:41:00.600 can be solved through science, so things like IVF and 0:41:00.680 --> 0:41:04.040 so with IVF and that's just in vitul fertilization, what 0:41:04.200 --> 0:41:06.279 they do, just like what your friend did, is that 0:41:06.360 --> 0:41:08.880 they do put you on medication to really force your 0:41:08.880 --> 0:41:10.880 body to create far more eggs than you would in 0:41:10.920 --> 0:41:13.880 a cycle. And then they retrieve those eggs. They can 0:41:13.960 --> 0:41:17.279 fertilize it with your partner sperm or a donor. You 0:41:17.280 --> 0:41:19.879 don't have to have no man. They could fertilize each 0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:23.239 egg with sperm and then it'll create embryos over the 0:41:23.280 --> 0:41:25.640 course of like five days, and then you would actually 0:41:25.760 --> 0:41:28.040 freeze the rest of the embryos and then transfer once 0:41:28.080 --> 0:41:31.520 to your uterus. And then that's the entire process. It's 0:41:31.560 --> 0:41:33.560 about twenty five k How. 0:41:33.480 --> 0:41:35.400 Much is this, Yeah, and the transfer has to be 0:41:35.440 --> 0:41:36.800 a certain like a certain day. You had to do 0:41:36.840 --> 0:41:39.640 all they do all the shots, and then on a 0:41:39.760 --> 0:41:42.560 certain special day then you go and then they put. 0:41:42.400 --> 0:41:45.520 You to sleep, right exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So the cool 0:41:45.600 --> 0:41:48.720 thing about IVF is that if you froze your eggs 0:41:48.760 --> 0:41:50.440 in the past, you don't have to go through the 0:41:50.520 --> 0:41:53.360 process again. You would just use the eggs you already froze, so. 0:41:53.320 --> 0:41:54.320 You don't have to you don't have to go to 0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:57.160 the process of first retrieving them and then implanting them. 0:41:57.239 --> 0:42:00.759 You can just go ahead and and just for the implantation, 0:42:01.000 --> 0:42:03.280 do you have to like give your administer yourself shots 0:42:03.520 --> 0:42:05.280 to increase your chances. 0:42:05.520 --> 0:42:08.560 Yeah. Yeah, So with the shots, which is so important. 0:42:08.640 --> 0:42:11.320 That's something that a lot of people don't really like 0:42:11.719 --> 0:42:14.200 is that when you do the process of maturing your 0:42:14.239 --> 0:42:16.920 eggs for retrieval, you do have to give yourself between 0:42:17.000 --> 0:42:18.440 like one to four shots per day. 0:42:19.160 --> 0:42:21.160 Yeah, it's a lot, and have to be refrigerated, so 0:42:21.200 --> 0:42:22.400 if you're at work or something, have to be in 0:42:22.440 --> 0:42:24.600 the refrigerator and it has to be the same time 0:42:24.760 --> 0:42:25.239 every day. 0:42:25.360 --> 0:42:25.520 Yep. 0:42:25.680 --> 0:42:27.520 So if you're driving, no matter what. 0:42:29.640 --> 0:42:32.399 Your stomach, yes, stomach, it can be like stomach, thigh 0:42:32.600 --> 0:42:36.720 or but yeah, and that's it's typically for like two weeks. 0:42:37.440 --> 0:42:39.839 Some of the drugs are oral, most of them are injectable, 0:42:40.360 --> 0:42:42.120 but yeah, you do that for two weeks and then 0:42:42.200 --> 0:42:44.120 after that that's when you get ready for the surgery. 0:42:44.280 --> 0:42:46.719 So in your egg retrieval surgery, you are put to 0:42:46.800 --> 0:42:50.280 sleep by an antisesiologists and while you're asleep, the doctor 0:42:50.320 --> 0:42:53.560 actually uses needle aspiration to lightly suction each one of 0:42:53.600 --> 0:42:57.000 your ovaries and then remove all of those eggs. You 0:42:57.120 --> 0:42:59.360 are completely asleep, but it is as painful as it. 0:42:59.440 --> 0:43:05.640 Sounds, go into your vagina and then they pierce. 0:43:05.440 --> 0:43:10.120 Through the wall on each side with a needle with 0:43:10.239 --> 0:43:10.640 a needle. 0:43:10.719 --> 0:43:13.840 Okay, okay, and so then I'm sorry. Then what happens 0:43:13.920 --> 0:43:16.200 They retrieve the eggs. 0:43:16.680 --> 0:43:18.560 So they go through the vaginal wall and say there 0:43:18.560 --> 0:43:21.439 on the left side. There, they're pierce through the left 0:43:22.320 --> 0:43:25.160 vaginal wall. Then they'll pierce through your ovary. And then 0:43:25.200 --> 0:43:28.040 what's really cool is your ovaries have these little follicles 0:43:28.120 --> 0:43:30.520 in them, and the follicles are just like little tiny 0:43:30.600 --> 0:43:33.080 fluid filled sacks that contain your eggs. And then the 0:43:33.160 --> 0:43:35.480 needles just go in and suction each egg so they 0:43:35.560 --> 0:43:37.279 get all of them from one side, go back in, 0:43:37.440 --> 0:43:39.279 pierce through the other side. How can they see do 0:43:39.400 --> 0:43:44.240 the same thing again? So yeah, it's all under ultrasound guidance, 0:43:44.880 --> 0:43:46.280 so they know where they are when. 0:43:46.120 --> 0:43:48.640 They're and then so once those eggs are gone, they 0:43:48.719 --> 0:43:53.319 then and they then insert the fertilized eggs. 0:43:53.400 --> 0:43:54.239 Right, Is that how it works? 0:43:54.320 --> 0:43:56.480 Right, So they'll retrieve all the eggs and then there's 0:43:56.480 --> 0:43:58.440 an embryologist in the room at the same time, so 0:43:58.480 --> 0:44:01.240 they'll be like a doctor like right here or surgeon. 0:44:01.480 --> 0:44:03.479 Then the embryol just will be right behind them because 0:44:03.480 --> 0:44:06.120 they have to pass those eggs to them, and then 0:44:06.200 --> 0:44:07.799 what they'll do is they'll take them to a lab 0:44:08.040 --> 0:44:11.120 fertilize it with sperm immediately, and then over the course 0:44:11.160 --> 0:44:14.120 of five days, little embryos or little babies start to develop, 0:44:15.239 --> 0:44:17.440 and that's what you freeze. And that's what you freeze. 0:44:17.960 --> 0:44:20.920 Oh yeah, and most people transfer one of them fresh, 0:44:21.160 --> 0:44:23.680 so it typically takes five days for them to develop. 0:44:23.960 --> 0:44:26.200 And then most people will transfer one fresh or some 0:44:26.280 --> 0:44:28.440 people will freeze them and then send it off for 0:44:28.560 --> 0:44:30.840 like further genetic testing, so you can like test it 0:44:30.960 --> 0:44:34.879 to see if it has genetic mutations or chromosomal abnormalities. 0:44:34.880 --> 0:44:37.200 You can see if it's a girl or boy, all 0:44:37.280 --> 0:44:40.160 types of things. And then you and so when you 0:44:40.320 --> 0:44:41.920 are so I didn't realize this. 0:44:42.040 --> 0:44:44.960 So when you have in vitro, you're actually implanting, I guess, 0:44:45.040 --> 0:44:46.279 and already. 0:44:46.239 --> 0:44:48.920 Started up started up, ye, I don't know why. 0:44:49.040 --> 0:44:51.879 I mean five days, I didn't know, Like, I don't 0:44:51.920 --> 0:44:52.120 know why. 0:44:52.160 --> 0:44:55.280 Because it's bigger, so it's easier to implant, yeah, to retreat, 0:44:55.360 --> 0:44:57.080 like to because it's a little bit easier to bigger 0:44:57.120 --> 0:44:58.200 to work with exactly. 0:44:58.480 --> 0:44:59.160 I have a question. 0:44:59.400 --> 0:45:02.000 When you peer through the vaginal wall to retrieve the 0:45:02.120 --> 0:45:06.640 eggs and then have to rego back to fertilize it. 0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:09.080 What is that? Is that not? 0:45:09.239 --> 0:45:10.960 I mean I can imagine that's not great for the 0:45:11.600 --> 0:45:12.680 uterarian wall? 0:45:15.080 --> 0:45:18.279 Yeah, yeah, so the vaginal wall. Most people will say 0:45:18.320 --> 0:45:21.200 they feel like like vaginal pain, cramping and bleeding. But 0:45:21.280 --> 0:45:23.719 the doctor doesn't have to go beyond your cervix, so 0:45:23.760 --> 0:45:26.040 they're not in your uterus. They're kind of still in 0:45:26.120 --> 0:45:30.719 your vaginal canal. So luckily they don't go through your 0:45:30.760 --> 0:45:32.279 cervix into your uterus. 0:45:32.000 --> 0:45:34.880 Okay, because like the ovaries on these sides, right, so 0:45:35.000 --> 0:45:36.600 it's kind of like going off to the diagonal, not 0:45:36.719 --> 0:45:38.400 going exactly right, so. 0:45:39.320 --> 0:45:42.080 Make a curt of left right here, yeah, right, yeah. 0:45:42.120 --> 0:45:45.960 Right exactly instead of going And that's why it's piercing 0:45:46.000 --> 0:45:47.719 because there's tissue okay. 0:45:47.520 --> 0:45:49.560 Yeah, because if they had to go through the cervix, 0:45:49.640 --> 0:45:51.240 it would be a much longer recovery. 0:45:51.520 --> 0:45:53.600 What are the chances of you not being able to 0:45:53.680 --> 0:45:58.600 retrieve the eggs, like going under this procedure and then 0:45:59.320 --> 0:46:01.799 it not being able to that's real? 0:46:01.920 --> 0:46:03.440 Yeah, Like is that a possibility? 0:46:03.640 --> 0:46:04.160 Absolutely? 0:46:04.200 --> 0:46:05.840 And what's the like statistic on that? 0:46:05.960 --> 0:46:06.399 Is it high? 0:46:06.719 --> 0:46:06.919 Yeah? 0:46:07.000 --> 0:46:10.040 So it's typically higher for women that are closer to forty. 0:46:11.120 --> 0:46:13.080 But the good thing is that that's why that testing 0:46:13.200 --> 0:46:15.560 is so important, because sometimes when you do the testing, 0:46:15.920 --> 0:46:18.960 the doctor can say, Okay, I'm gonna be honest, we 0:46:19.040 --> 0:46:21.040 don't see a lot of eggs on ultrasound. That's the 0:46:21.120 --> 0:46:22.640 only way they can see them at first. It's through 0:46:22.640 --> 0:46:25.480 a transvaginal ultrasound. So they'll say, we only can see 0:46:25.520 --> 0:46:27.960 about four eggs. So it's highly likely that when we 0:46:28.040 --> 0:46:31.000 go in for the surgery, we only retrieve immature eggs. 0:46:31.040 --> 0:46:33.279 And you have to start from the beginning. That does 0:46:33.520 --> 0:46:36.920 happen quite often, honestly. So that's another twenty. 0:46:36.680 --> 0:46:38.719 Five k You got to start from the beginning, Oh, 0:46:38.880 --> 0:46:40.800 because that's you don't get to try twice. 0:46:41.080 --> 0:46:43.800 Yeah, that's why my feminement it's also really important that 0:46:43.880 --> 0:46:46.560 you go to a good doctor, because you know a 0:46:46.680 --> 0:46:48.719 good doctor is going to make sure that they're doing 0:46:48.800 --> 0:46:51.279 everything in their power in the in the like right 0:46:51.520 --> 0:46:54.000 before the surgery, like asking you to come in every 0:46:54.040 --> 0:46:56.279 other day to test your eggs and see the consistency. 0:46:56.320 --> 0:46:58.200 Because she said she knows people who will take that 0:46:58.440 --> 0:47:02.080 money and not have made it the best chances and 0:47:02.160 --> 0:47:04.279 the best eggs possible because maybe they don't want to 0:47:04.280 --> 0:47:06.239 meet you every other day or whatever it is. 0:47:06.320 --> 0:47:07.520 They're part of the process. 0:47:07.640 --> 0:47:08.120 You have to do that. 0:47:08.239 --> 0:47:10.719 Well, that's this is why these conversations are important, because 0:47:10.760 --> 0:47:12.839 you may not know you're just giving over this money 0:47:12.880 --> 0:47:15.120 it's expecting. Yeah, duh, you would do that if you 0:47:15.200 --> 0:47:16.880 know you can. But some people, you know, if you 0:47:16.920 --> 0:47:19.160 don't know the questions to ask, you don't fuck it. Hell, 0:47:19.640 --> 0:47:21.160 and so you should. You know, that's somebody. It's good 0:47:21.160 --> 0:47:23.040 to vet your doctors, and it's good for us to 0:47:23.080 --> 0:47:25.800 have these conversations and not feel shame around them because 0:47:26.040 --> 0:47:27.720 this is the only way we'll find out. I literally 0:47:27.800 --> 0:47:29.440 only know this because she told me. 0:47:29.520 --> 0:47:32.359 I only know this because of this conversation. Yeah, that's 0:47:32.400 --> 0:47:34.360 why I'm going through a range of emotions because. 0:47:34.200 --> 0:47:35.480 I'm like what, huh, huh what? 0:47:36.120 --> 0:47:38.399 And it gives you like I feel like so many 0:47:38.440 --> 0:47:41.600 people don't know that, Like science really does help solve 0:47:41.680 --> 0:47:44.839 ninety percent of cases of infertility, and so many people 0:47:44.920 --> 0:47:46.960 don't know that. And I think especially black women, like 0:47:47.040 --> 0:47:49.320 we were talking about before the show, like there's so 0:47:49.480 --> 0:47:51.720 much shame around like oh I can't do it myself. 0:47:51.800 --> 0:47:54.080 That means something is wrong with me, And it doesn't 0:47:54.120 --> 0:47:55.919 mean that anything is wrong with you. It just means 0:47:55.960 --> 0:47:57.759 that you might need a little bit of help. Your 0:47:57.800 --> 0:48:00.160 story might just look a little bit different, but it's 0:48:00.200 --> 0:48:03.080 still normal. I think sometimes it's like, oh, I can't 0:48:03.120 --> 0:48:05.560 have a baby the normal way, and there is no 0:48:05.760 --> 0:48:08.840 normal way to have a baby. Like whatever way you 0:48:08.960 --> 0:48:12.120 have to take is your way. And sometimes IVF is 0:48:12.239 --> 0:48:15.400 that way, or IUI or serrogracy or adoption. I think 0:48:15.480 --> 0:48:18.560 sometimes people don't want to like expand their definitions of 0:48:18.640 --> 0:48:21.320 motherhood and so they just feel very limited, you know. 0:48:22.160 --> 0:48:27.600 But yeah, what do you think about like using like 0:48:28.280 --> 0:48:32.040 homeopathic medicines for infertility? Is that I mean, and I 0:48:32.200 --> 0:48:35.280 hear you say that the science is ninety percent effective. 0:48:35.520 --> 0:48:37.960 There's people out there that are like, I'm not I 0:48:38.000 --> 0:48:40.080 don't want to get my eggs injected. I don't want 0:48:40.120 --> 0:48:41.960 to do this, I don't want to do that. Is 0:48:42.040 --> 0:48:43.880 that also in your opinion? 0:48:43.960 --> 0:48:44.320 Obviously? 0:48:44.440 --> 0:48:47.880 I think yes, with science, you it's there's one thing 0:48:47.960 --> 0:48:51.320 between putting a whole needle up inside your ovaries sucking 0:48:51.440 --> 0:48:57.080 some shit out versus eating well and taking certain herbs 0:48:57.239 --> 0:48:59.560 or whatever the case may be. You know, obviously, like 0:49:00.040 --> 0:49:03.480 science is what we were talking about urgency and efficiency. 0:49:03.640 --> 0:49:05.600 Urgency. Everything is urgency. 0:49:07.000 --> 0:49:10.479 Urgency versus nature's medicine is going to take some fucking time. 0:49:11.239 --> 0:49:14.040 But have you seen women in your practice, like I 0:49:14.120 --> 0:49:17.880 guess go that route or like try to marry the 0:49:17.960 --> 0:49:19.200 two or what does that look like? 0:49:19.560 --> 0:49:21.160 Yeah, and that's how I got into the space is 0:49:21.239 --> 0:49:23.680 marrying the two. I think marrying the two is important 0:49:24.200 --> 0:49:27.400 because you want to have the appropriate testing done to 0:49:27.440 --> 0:49:29.839 see if it's even a possibility. So I think, first 0:49:29.960 --> 0:49:34.040 if you know that your hormones are okay, and doctors 0:49:34.080 --> 0:49:36.719 also need to do that transpagion ultrasound to see how 0:49:36.760 --> 0:49:39.040 many follicles you have on each side, you want to 0:49:39.040 --> 0:49:41.960 make sure there's no fibroids or polyps like blocking the 0:49:42.040 --> 0:49:43.920 place that the baby would try to implant. You want 0:49:43.960 --> 0:49:46.719 to do like testing to make sure your fallopian tubes 0:49:46.760 --> 0:49:49.239 aren't blocked. I think once you know that those things 0:49:49.239 --> 0:49:52.040 are okay, then you want to try to incorporate more 0:49:52.160 --> 0:49:55.600 like you know, like you said, homeopathy or naturopathic medicine 0:49:55.640 --> 0:49:58.360 or functional medicine. I think those things are important, but 0:49:58.960 --> 0:50:01.200 as a naturopathic doctor, I'm still saying it. I think 0:50:01.239 --> 0:50:04.680 you still want to know that you're okay first, because 0:50:04.719 --> 0:50:06.560 you would hate to be eating eight cups of broccoli 0:50:06.600 --> 0:50:10.239 and Filippian tubes are blocked. Why did I just eat 0:50:10.239 --> 0:50:10.960 on this broccoli. 0:50:11.040 --> 0:50:13.360 It's not gonna it's not changing. That's not going to 0:50:13.400 --> 0:50:14.120 do the true. 0:50:14.040 --> 0:50:16.320 Yeah, because you know, when when your eggs are traveling 0:50:16.360 --> 0:50:18.560 down at Filippian tube, the sperm has to get through 0:50:19.040 --> 0:50:21.319 to meet the egg and create that embryo. So if 0:50:21.360 --> 0:50:24.360 your tubes are blocked, no amount of nutrition is gonna 0:50:24.400 --> 0:50:27.880 reverse that. So I think like marrying the two to 0:50:28.040 --> 0:50:31.200 me is so important, especially as we get well into 0:50:31.280 --> 0:50:32.240 our thirties. 0:50:32.000 --> 0:50:35.360 And understanding like identifying exactly what may or may not 0:50:35.520 --> 0:50:38.160 could be the travel but instead of aimlessly just like 0:50:38.280 --> 0:50:42.759 I'll be fine eating drinking herbs. Yeah yeah, so yeah, 0:50:42.840 --> 0:50:48.480 I says thirty five your old women? Do you like 0:50:48.719 --> 0:50:51.520 if you ideally had an age for women to start 0:50:51.600 --> 0:50:53.880 during this process? But would be your suggestion? 0:50:54.320 --> 0:50:56.680 Yeah, I would say thirty five. I think like thirty. 0:50:57.239 --> 0:50:59.239 I think when you get thirty and you're maybe you're 0:50:59.280 --> 0:51:02.480 not partnered at thirty, but you know you o a family. 0:51:02.600 --> 0:51:04.080 I would say this is a good time to say, 0:51:04.120 --> 0:51:06.000 you know what, let me just get this testing done, 0:51:06.560 --> 0:51:08.800 because the initial testing is not that expensive, Like the 0:51:08.840 --> 0:51:12.080 initial testing is typically between like one fifty to three 0:51:12.160 --> 0:51:15.120 hundred dollars, and that's like even like Beverly Hills. I 0:51:15.200 --> 0:51:17.400 feel like the most expensive place I saw here was 0:51:17.400 --> 0:51:19.680 like four seventy five and that includes like the imaging, 0:51:20.120 --> 0:51:21.879 the blood tests, and so some people think it's really 0:51:21.880 --> 0:51:24.600 expensive and it's not. And sometimes your insurance will even 0:51:24.680 --> 0:51:28.359 even identify that as preventive care. So having that testing done, 0:51:28.360 --> 0:51:30.640 even your obguim might do it, so then that way 0:51:30.680 --> 0:51:33.280 it's covered. But I think at thirty, if you're like, Okay, 0:51:35.360 --> 0:51:38.000 these niggas is trash. I don't have nobody I really like, 0:51:38.360 --> 0:51:40.239 but I know I want a family. Let me make 0:51:40.280 --> 0:51:43.320 sure I'm good so that when I am ready, you know, 0:51:43.880 --> 0:51:45.840 I'm good to go, rather than just kind of waiting 0:51:45.920 --> 0:51:49.560 it out, you know and unfortunately having a harder time 0:51:49.800 --> 0:51:50.480 in the future. 0:51:50.960 --> 0:51:52.400 Right, Yeah, I mean I guess that. 0:51:52.800 --> 0:51:54.600 Yeah, that's dc. 0:51:55.239 --> 0:51:58.680 Have you seen a lot more women decide to take 0:51:58.920 --> 0:52:01.840 agency over there, you know, their family planning, you know, 0:52:02.080 --> 0:52:04.440 even in single like single I know, like the more 0:52:04.560 --> 0:52:07.600 women be professionals and you know, it's just more, it's 0:52:07.640 --> 0:52:09.080 more you know people are doing it more. 0:52:09.400 --> 0:52:12.239 Yeah, yeah, I feel like most of my calls are 0:52:12.360 --> 0:52:15.440 single parent family building, which I think is so fire Like, 0:52:15.880 --> 0:52:20.320 I think it's amazing because sometimes we rush into relationships 0:52:20.360 --> 0:52:22.759 that we know might not be great because we're like, 0:52:23.719 --> 0:52:26.080 I really need to have a baby. You're not my choice, 0:52:26.239 --> 0:52:28.360 but I really want to have a baby. And I 0:52:28.480 --> 0:52:30.920 love that single parent family building allows you to say like, 0:52:31.040 --> 0:52:32.839 I'm gonna have a baby. I really want a baby, 0:52:33.120 --> 0:52:34.480 so I'm gonna go ahead and have a baby, and 0:52:34.520 --> 0:52:37.080 if I meet someone, great, but if not, I still 0:52:37.120 --> 0:52:39.640 have the family that I want. So I do see 0:52:40.120 --> 0:52:43.520 far more white women doing it then I see black women. 0:52:43.680 --> 0:52:45.319 But again, I don't know if that's just the demo 0:52:45.440 --> 0:52:47.759 at my job, you know, but I do see a 0:52:47.800 --> 0:52:50.440 lot more women taking agencies. There's so many, like Facebook 0:52:50.480 --> 0:52:54.719 groups of women building communities all around, building families by themselves. 0:52:54.920 --> 0:52:57.360 And you can literally do that by finding a sperm 0:52:57.440 --> 0:53:00.279 donor somebody you know who you cool with, or you know, 0:53:00.400 --> 0:53:02.960 actually going to a donor agency and finding someone and 0:53:03.000 --> 0:53:06.200 you can do like inter uterine insemination or at home 0:53:06.280 --> 0:53:09.360 insemination just to start your own family and it's not 0:53:09.440 --> 0:53:10.040 as expensive. 0:53:12.280 --> 0:53:14.160 Man, I think that I hope that. 0:53:14.400 --> 0:53:17.280 My hope is that a woman that makes that choice 0:53:17.360 --> 0:53:22.160 is getting her tribal in line. I really hope so, 0:53:22.400 --> 0:53:26.480 because yes, it's it's I understand this, and I have 0:53:26.560 --> 0:53:28.799 the privilege of having a child, so like I can 0:53:28.880 --> 0:53:31.880 sit here and say this right, and I'm aware of that. 0:53:32.080 --> 0:53:34.879 But I think also because I have one, I really 0:53:35.040 --> 0:53:38.480 understand how important It's not just the want and need 0:53:38.560 --> 0:53:41.560 to have a child, but like, do you have the 0:53:41.840 --> 0:53:45.400 community in place, the circle in place to help support 0:53:45.440 --> 0:53:48.919 and raise that child and support yourself because this shit 0:53:49.000 --> 0:53:50.880 is not meant to be a one person job. It 0:53:50.960 --> 0:53:54.000 really truly isn't, you know. And so do you have 0:53:54.480 --> 0:53:58.080 like other like men or whatever and your family that 0:53:58.200 --> 0:54:00.279 are going to step up and be and hopeful be 0:54:00.440 --> 0:54:05.280 that obviously ship listen, people have partners and it doesn't 0:54:05.280 --> 0:54:07.759 work out and they're you know, out here alone as well. 0:54:07.840 --> 0:54:10.880 But I will say, if you have the luxury of 0:54:11.040 --> 0:54:16.960 even going through this process like it, get your tribee. 0:54:17.520 --> 0:54:21.160 This is not this is not a one person job, 0:54:22.560 --> 0:54:26.439 like for real, like at all, like honestly, like having 0:54:26.640 --> 0:54:27.160 a boyfriend. 0:54:27.200 --> 0:54:28.759 I realized that I'm like, you know, if you could 0:54:28.800 --> 0:54:31.040 have like if you can have the most ideal situation. 0:54:31.160 --> 0:54:32.800 That is the about It doesn't mean like you have 0:54:32.840 --> 0:54:34.279 to have a nigga, but just like make sure you. 0:54:34.400 --> 0:54:35.840 Have people who are going to show up for you 0:54:36.040 --> 0:54:39.360 and the like. Have you like give you breaks because 0:54:39.440 --> 0:54:41.440 you need to have other people like a lot of 0:54:41.480 --> 0:54:41.879 other people. 0:54:41.920 --> 0:54:43.799 You need real you need that God mean about three 0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:49.160 godmoms to god dads, two grandparents, your parents? 0:54:51.200 --> 0:54:54.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's important. 0:54:55.880 --> 0:54:58.799 What about you? Like personally? What is what is I mean? 0:54:59.000 --> 0:55:01.680 Do you have you frozen your eggs? Like? 0:55:01.960 --> 0:55:03.920 Is this something? Have you gotten your eggs tested? 0:55:04.239 --> 0:55:04.279 Like? 0:55:04.800 --> 0:55:06.359 You get a discount because you're working this shit? 0:55:08.080 --> 0:55:12.000 Can you discount code? We'll put it on Patreon exclusively. 0:55:13.120 --> 0:55:15.680 Checked. Can we get a discount click this link in 0:55:15.760 --> 0:55:18.160 an episode of description you could get a discount on 0:55:18.239 --> 0:55:19.120 You'll get your eggs check. 0:55:19.120 --> 0:55:23.560 We got anx check. How about you when you say good. 0:55:23.440 --> 0:55:25.879 Moms, watch now the ad is going to be fed 0:55:25.960 --> 0:55:27.320 to my fucking phone. 0:55:29.080 --> 0:55:31.480 Because there's so many, so many at home tests too. 0:55:31.560 --> 0:55:35.040 But my employer covers it. Okay, yeah, so that's the 0:55:35.080 --> 0:55:36.759 only reason I'm able to do it. But it is 0:55:36.840 --> 0:55:39.240 something I have to do this year. I was putting 0:55:39.239 --> 0:55:41.120 it off, I'm like, Okay, so you haven't done it yet. 0:55:41.160 --> 0:55:44.040 I haven't done it yet, but my goal is to 0:55:44.120 --> 0:55:47.440 do it this year. I prefer to do it at 0:55:47.520 --> 0:55:49.920 home in Georgia where like my mom and sister are 0:55:50.120 --> 0:55:53.399 just so I have support throughout the process and after 0:55:53.480 --> 0:55:55.319 my surgery, because you do have to have someone there 0:55:55.360 --> 0:55:57.840 with you after the surgery. But it is definitely something 0:55:57.880 --> 0:55:59.480 I want to do because I do want to have 0:55:59.600 --> 0:56:01.759 a family, and I just don't know when it's going 0:56:01.800 --> 0:56:02.120 to happen. 0:56:02.239 --> 0:56:09.120 So yeah, I mean, yeah, I think that I was 0:56:09.200 --> 0:56:11.520 just thinking, like God, I mean, either way it's gonna 0:56:11.520 --> 0:56:13.560 it's It can be challenging whether you're partnered or not. 0:56:14.000 --> 0:56:16.600 I mean, and it doesn't necessarily even if you're partnered, 0:56:16.680 --> 0:56:18.120 me and that person's going to show up the way 0:56:18.200 --> 0:56:20.240 that you want them to anyway. 0:56:20.480 --> 0:56:22.640 Yeah, and that can sometimes be more devastating. You're in 0:56:22.680 --> 0:56:24.560 the house with someone that you don't feel supported by, 0:56:25.200 --> 0:56:27.239 sleeping next to someone you don't feel supported by, and 0:56:27.360 --> 0:56:30.080 the resentment, you know, that agitation grows. 0:56:30.600 --> 0:56:33.160 Yeah, yeah, that's a fact. Yeah, And I think like 0:56:33.280 --> 0:56:36.319 having a choice, I think that's what to me, that's 0:56:36.360 --> 0:56:39.279 what I see egg freezing as it's like giving like 0:56:39.360 --> 0:56:41.320 giving yourself agency to say, like, you know what, I 0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:43.600 might not use these eggs. I actually might you know, 0:56:43.960 --> 0:56:46.719 meet somebody, get pregnant, not need them. But I want 0:56:46.760 --> 0:56:48.239 to have the choice, you know what I mean, in 0:56:48.280 --> 0:56:50.160 the future, and I get to see it in my 0:56:50.200 --> 0:56:52.160 everyday life, so I know that it's a very real 0:56:52.280 --> 0:56:54.960 thing that I have to pay attention to. But yeah, 0:56:55.040 --> 0:56:56.840 to me, just making sure that I am set up 0:56:56.840 --> 0:56:58.040 in the future if I do need it. 0:57:00.440 --> 0:57:03.000 Well, thank you so much for all this information. I 0:57:03.080 --> 0:57:06.239 feel a lot more educated on it and feel like 0:57:06.280 --> 0:57:08.160 I need to dive almost deeper. I'm like, I need 0:57:08.200 --> 0:57:11.040 to see a picture of these little implants multiple on 0:57:11.160 --> 0:57:16.120 Google and weird deep divers. Yeah, I want to see 0:57:16.440 --> 0:57:18.640 the surgery, like I want to see like there's got 0:57:18.800 --> 0:57:19.560 to be some videos. 0:57:19.760 --> 0:57:21.680 Well for sure, I can. I can imagine it in 0:57:21.760 --> 0:57:22.680 my head, like I want to. 0:57:23.920 --> 0:57:27.640 Yeah, there's so many. Yeah, I want to know. 0:57:28.480 --> 0:57:31.919 Okay, one last question. Okay, do black women over thirty 0:57:32.000 --> 0:57:35.320 five have a higher chance of having multiples? 0:57:35.960 --> 0:57:37.840 Ooh, good questions? 0:57:38.040 --> 0:57:38.360 A fact. 0:57:39.080 --> 0:57:41.760 I saw it as a fact, that's what I'm asking. 0:57:42.600 --> 0:57:46.000 That's a good question. I haven't seen that, but but 0:57:46.680 --> 0:57:49.040 I do know with certain procedures, certain things you do 0:57:49.360 --> 0:57:51.480 do increase your risk of multiple So like if you 0:57:51.520 --> 0:57:54.160 were to do like inter uter insemination at a clinic, 0:57:54.480 --> 0:57:56.320 so that's where they just like inject the sperm through 0:57:56.360 --> 0:57:58.920 your cervix, that does increase your risk of multiples. But 0:57:59.040 --> 0:58:01.200 I haven't seen it like a black women specifically. 0:58:01.400 --> 0:58:04.840 I saw I saw a statistic that black women have 0:58:05.000 --> 0:58:07.880 higher chance like you, no, like, like our chances of 0:58:07.960 --> 0:58:13.440 having multiples after thirty five are like increased significantly. 0:58:14.760 --> 0:58:17.360 And nobody got time for that, now, ain't nobody at 0:58:17.400 --> 0:58:17.800 the time. 0:58:17.920 --> 0:58:19.120 Orlando's mom's a twin. 0:58:20.560 --> 0:58:25.000 Oh face. 0:58:25.800 --> 0:58:27.360 I'm so thankful that you came and we got to 0:58:27.520 --> 0:58:28.720 ask all these millions of question. 0:58:28.920 --> 0:58:32.240 Yes, yes, I appreciate you for just inviting me. You 0:58:32.360 --> 0:58:34.960 have such a beautiful community, and I think it's important 0:58:35.000 --> 0:58:37.160 just for them to know, like you have options and 0:58:37.560 --> 0:58:38.840 you can build a life however you want. 0:58:39.120 --> 0:58:40.320 Yeah, thank you, Yeah, and thank. 0:58:40.200 --> 0:58:41.080 You for the work that you do. 0:58:42.040 --> 0:58:44.000 Can you telling people? Actually no, wait, do you have 0:58:44.040 --> 0:58:44.560 an afermation? 0:58:46.960 --> 0:58:48.680 She told me to bring She told me to bring one. 0:58:50.000 --> 0:58:54.160 I had to, but I'll stick with being me is 0:58:54.200 --> 0:58:54.720 how I win. 0:58:55.440 --> 0:58:58.960 Being me is how I win. That's a fact. 0:58:59.360 --> 0:59:03.760 How I when yes, we pulled a tarot card. 0:59:07.720 --> 0:59:13.280 I saw her reading from poor minds like a friend 0:59:13.360 --> 0:59:17.680 is about to betray you. Oh, don't let me pull that. 0:59:17.840 --> 0:59:18.160 I love. 0:59:20.280 --> 0:59:21.160 Let you check in on her. 0:59:21.440 --> 0:59:22.120 What happened? 0:59:23.800 --> 0:59:24.320 I just saw her. 0:59:24.400 --> 0:59:26.480 She looked she was on vacation. She looked perfectly. 0:59:26.160 --> 0:59:30.920 Fine, fine, as fine as Miami I was. 0:59:31.080 --> 0:59:32.040 But take me with you. 0:59:32.360 --> 0:59:34.440 I'll be your girlfriend, right, I told dress. 0:59:34.760 --> 0:59:36.000 If it don't work out, we'll be together. 0:59:38.480 --> 0:59:39.920 Is not lesbian? Who do we need to do a 0:59:40.000 --> 0:59:46.160 double like as situation? Oh my god. The nine of 0:59:46.320 --> 0:59:49.320 ones means resilience, courage, persistent. 0:59:49.400 --> 0:59:50.720 Wait, this guy looks fucked. 0:59:50.520 --> 0:59:54.920 Up accounting it is rnine. He does look like he 0:59:54.960 --> 0:59:56.960 had to be resilient. He has like a cloth on 0:59:57.040 --> 1:00:01.680 his head. Test of face and boundaries. Good, that's what 1:00:01.760 --> 1:00:02.360 it is. 1:00:02.400 --> 1:00:03.920 Perfect boundaries. 1:00:05.680 --> 1:00:06.320 I forgot it is. 1:00:08.560 --> 1:00:10.600 Yeah, yeah, boundaries. 1:00:10.840 --> 1:00:11.480 Oh wow. 1:00:11.920 --> 1:00:14.200 Shout out to Bitty Taro that has been teaching us 1:00:14.240 --> 1:00:18.600 Taro for two years. Nine of Wands. The nine of 1:00:18.680 --> 1:00:20.800 Wands comes as a sign that even in the face 1:00:20.880 --> 1:00:24.000 of adversity, you stand tall and strong. You may be 1:00:24.080 --> 1:00:27.160 on the edge of exhaustion, but you are resilient, persistent, 1:00:27.240 --> 1:00:28.800 and ready to do what it takes to get to 1:00:28.880 --> 1:00:31.560 the finish line. This card may also come when you 1:00:31.680 --> 1:00:35.160 feel battered and bruised, having endured significant challenges and struggles 1:00:35.200 --> 1:00:38.080 along your path. Just when you think you are making progress, 1:00:38.240 --> 1:00:41.960 you suffer another setback. The nine of wants asks you 1:00:42.040 --> 1:00:44.040 to trust that this is merely a test of your 1:00:44.120 --> 1:00:46.520 grit and resilience, and know that every time you overcome 1:00:46.520 --> 1:00:49.439 an obstacle, you are getting stronger. You have the inner 1:00:49.520 --> 1:00:54.000 resources necessary to overcome any difficult any difficulty you encounter, 1:00:54.360 --> 1:00:57.120 even though it may seem impossible at the time. See 1:00:57.160 --> 1:01:00.400 this nine as an insurance that you will eventually asper 1:01:00.960 --> 1:01:03.400 if you maintain your position. And if you do not 1:01:03.520 --> 1:01:05.479 succeed at first, then try again. 1:01:06.000 --> 1:01:07.520 Ooh, that's the word. 1:01:08.880 --> 1:01:13.640 That I should don't succeed, that's that's yourself up and 1:01:13.760 --> 1:01:14.280 try again. 1:01:15.120 --> 1:01:15.840 Get up. 1:01:15.920 --> 1:01:20.040 I heard sorry, I couldn't resist. I couldn't They said it. 1:01:20.120 --> 1:01:22.240 They said the lyrics right there, the lyrics right there. 1:01:22.360 --> 1:01:29.240 Receive that, Yeah, yeah, definitely. Well, thank you for coming 1:01:29.320 --> 1:01:32.120 on our show. I appreciate you again. I appreciate all 1:01:32.160 --> 1:01:34.480 the work that you do. I think that it's really 1:01:34.520 --> 1:01:39.760 important for black women to see other black women doing 1:01:39.840 --> 1:01:42.320 the work that you do and making and normalizing it 1:01:42.440 --> 1:01:46.880 and making destigmatizing this idea around infertility and that you 1:01:46.960 --> 1:01:49.640 don't have options and that there's something wrong with you 1:01:50.080 --> 1:01:53.360 and that you won't be able to experience motherhood. 1:01:53.360 --> 1:01:55.600 If that's what you show, so true. So I appreciate. 1:01:55.720 --> 1:01:57.640 I appreciate all that you do. Thank you. 1:01:57.800 --> 1:01:59.560 Can you tell the people where they can find you? 1:02:00.120 --> 1:02:02.840 Yes? Yes, So you can find me on Instagram at 1:02:02.920 --> 1:02:07.480 the Fertility Advantage Twitter, Raquel Hammond's and my YouTube is 1:02:07.720 --> 1:02:09.920 what the Fertility, What the Fertility? 1:02:09.960 --> 1:02:10.400 I love that. 1:02:11.600 --> 1:02:14.160 Yeah, so subscribe to her YouTube, describe to our YouTube. 1:02:14.320 --> 1:02:18.680 Get on YouTube right now, and uh, we'll see you 1:02:18.760 --> 1:02:20.040 guys next week. 1:02:20.640 --> 1:02:23.240 Yeah, we'll see October twenty first show. 1:02:23.320 --> 1:02:23.440 Right. 1:02:24.080 --> 1:02:25.720 Oh yeah, guys, we're having a live show. 1:02:25.640 --> 1:02:28.400 On October twenty first in LA at the Telegram ball 1:02:28.640 --> 1:02:32.120 Does that know Terogram Teagram Ballroom. I'm gonna have them 1:02:32.160 --> 1:02:33.480 at the Telegram if it is the last thing I 1:02:33.560 --> 1:02:37.720 do know where it is the Teogram Ballroom. Come get 1:02:37.800 --> 1:02:41.960 ratchet with us. It's Confessions of a Good Mom And yeah, 1:02:42.720 --> 1:02:43.480 see you guys later. 1:02:43.920 --> 1:02:44.520 We got high. 1:02:44.880 --> 1:02:45.439 Bye bye. 1:02:47.360 --> 1:02:48.480 Seven percent in my ass. 1:02:51.280 --> 1:02:52.280 She played joll. 1:03:06.480 --> 1:03:11.200 Yeah, I'm like loss go yeah. Ellen j solo ball 1:03:11.360 --> 1:03:14.520 record the las Elas