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Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I almost famous podcast

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Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: We are back, so let's die back in.

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Speaker 3: There was a lot of.

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Speaker 4: Confusion I think here between Ashley and myself on Mel It.

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Speaker 4: You know, you just have a picture of him like

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Speaker 4: that guy is very handsome and he was kind, very

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Speaker 4: kind to the contestants. But I don't quite understand how

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Speaker 4: you could feel anything for him because.

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Speaker 3: Watching it and this is it.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to, Oh, I don't want this to

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Speaker 4: sound like a bashing of Mel, because I don't know Mel.

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Speaker 4: And that's part of the reason We've said this many

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Speaker 4: times before. That's part of the reason why I'm so

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Speaker 4: confused on how anybody fell for him because we don't

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Speaker 4: know him. And I just watched him on my TVs

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Speaker 4: for three months, and any conversation we had it did

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Speaker 4: feel like you were like you or some of the

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Speaker 4: other ladies were the ones talking and he wasn't really

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Speaker 4: like giving anything to it. Was was that just the

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Speaker 4: unfortunate nature of how he came across on our TVs?

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Speaker 4: Or looking back, was he giving more like was he

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Speaker 4: actually giving anything to these conversations? I guess what I'm

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Speaker 4: saying all in is it felt like it was flat,

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Speaker 4: and as a result, I don't know how anybody got

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Speaker 4: to know him enough to feel anything for him.

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Speaker 5: That's very fair. After watching the episodes back, I will

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Speaker 5: say that I personally was giving Mel grace because he

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Speaker 5: had to manage a whole bunch of women and I

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Speaker 5: didn't expect him to engage with me early on what

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Speaker 5: was and so I just said, that's just part of

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Speaker 5: what's happening. He's got too many women to manage. But

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Speaker 5: when it got down to hometowns in particular, and definitely

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Speaker 5: the exotic date, and he still was an observer and

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Speaker 5: not a participant, that's when it shifted for me, because

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Speaker 5: this is this is when you're you have to lean

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Speaker 5: in or get out. And also for me too, like

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Speaker 5: if I had just leaned out of it. You know,

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Speaker 5: we had a lot of women who just weren't leaning

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Speaker 5: in too. It goes both ways. But I was definitely

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Speaker 5: leaving leaning in and Mel continued to be continue to

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Speaker 5: be an observer. I will say that a lot of

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Speaker 5: his personality you don't really see. You know, here's my condo,

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Speaker 5: there's a door right there, and on my hometowns. The

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Speaker 5: producers were in the hallway and they were going to

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Speaker 5: take some be real of us walking to the elevator,

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Speaker 5: you know, hand in hand, and they left us inside

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Speaker 5: were fully miked, and they were all outside getting set up,

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Speaker 5: and they said, we'll yell to you to come out,

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Speaker 5: and Mel immediately locks all the dead bolts and flips

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Speaker 5: the lock on it and we start, you know, kissing

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Speaker 5: and very flirty and very fun and you know, very personal.

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Speaker 5: And you know, you don't see that. And I don't

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Speaker 5: know whether the moments that Mel had were edited or

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Speaker 5: not usable. It's unfortunate because I think there's more to them.

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Speaker 5: I think he's a very curious man. He's very intellectual.

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Speaker 5: I can give you another example if you want more. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: like on our tailgate what you see of my conversation

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Speaker 5: with Mel is do you like me as much as

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Speaker 5: I like you? Super flirty and super sweet. But you

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Speaker 5: didn't hear the twenty or thirty minutes before then. How

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Speaker 5: we talked about tailgates never made any sense to us

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Speaker 5: growing up. He was always he was in the stadium.

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Speaker 5: I was in the stadium. We're warming up for the games.

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Speaker 5: Of course, now we've been to tailgates, so they make

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Speaker 5: more sense. The bracelets that he wore in the show,

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Speaker 5: everybody made fun of, like how his bracelets grew. Those

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Speaker 5: were from a friend of his who has tailgates in

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Speaker 5: Michigan before the Michigan Games, and so instead of doing wristbands,

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Speaker 5: he would issue those bracelets and just that backstory. And

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Speaker 5: then at the end he's like, what else do you

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Speaker 5: want to know about me? And that's when they captured

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Speaker 5: do you like me as much as I like you?

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Speaker 5: So there's a lot that goes into the conversations that

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Speaker 5: leads to that. There was another one. I'm gonna give

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Speaker 5: you one more. It's after Oh my gosh, this was

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Speaker 5: after the pool party, right, and I'm noticing how hyper

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Speaker 5: sexualized his behavior was. I was concerned about Nicole, of course,

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Speaker 5: It's not something that I would do start so openly

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Speaker 5: kissing in front of everybody. It wasn't just Nicole that

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Speaker 5: worried us. It was like my man would not allow

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Speaker 5: access to himself. So that was also in play. And

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Speaker 5: so my roommates, who I was very close to, we

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Speaker 5: help each other pick each other's outfits, and we were

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Speaker 5: early on, so I still had a plethora of gowns

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Speaker 5: left to p from, and I picked a gown that

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Speaker 5: was just strapless. It had a big tie, hot pink,

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Speaker 5: but it didn't show any curves, no cleavage. It's like

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Speaker 5: eyes up here, buddy. And I wanted to see what

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Speaker 5: my interaction was with mel when he didn't get that

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Speaker 5: hubbahabba feeling with me right, and we did. We had

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Speaker 5: a lovely conversation about his boys, about his ex wife's wedding,

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Speaker 5: and that's when I asked him about, you know, do

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Speaker 5: you read any books? What do you like to read?

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Speaker 5: And we had that conversation about books. So you don't

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Speaker 5: see the lead up to the books. You just hear

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Speaker 5: the book's conversation. That's my fault. I should have put

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Speaker 5: it on Mike, I guess, but I didn't know what

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Speaker 5: I was doing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Well, and I think too part of that you just

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Speaker 4: mentioned it like I would have just loved for him.

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Speaker 3: To talk about how well about.

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Speaker 4: His ex wife's wedding, like we didn't hear any of

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Speaker 4: that backstory to him.

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Speaker 5: Well, I think that I think that was out of

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Speaker 5: privacy for her, and I.

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Speaker 4: Think that's fair, and I've said that I think that's fair,

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Speaker 4: But I think part of that is as a result,

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Speaker 4: it just felt like we had this guy placed on

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Speaker 4: our TV screens for us to get to know, yet

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Speaker 4: we couldn't get to know him because there were so

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Speaker 4: many boundaries to even infiltrate who he is as a human,

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Speaker 4: what he actually likes, what he believes in, you know,

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Speaker 4: what happened in his divorce. So I think it was

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Speaker 4: a mixture of things. I don't I've never thought he

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Speaker 4: was a bad man. I just think it was a

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Speaker 4: bad environment for somebody like him to be in as

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Speaker 4: the lead.

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Speaker 5: Can I ask you a question, how much of that

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Speaker 5: do you feel is generational?

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Speaker 4: I think there's a hesitancy. I think it's generational. You know,

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Speaker 4: like knowing my father or my father in law, right,

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Speaker 4: they would be very similar to mel on that show.

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Speaker 4: They would be nervous, closed off, not knowing how to navigate,

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Speaker 4: you know, the environment. I also think a little bit

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Speaker 4: of it is Cindy is his lack of experience, and

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Speaker 4: that's not his fault. It is coming from the show.

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Speaker 4: Then going into the lead position, I think that helps

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Speaker 4: because you know what's needed, what should be said, what

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Speaker 4: things you're good about saying and not saying. You know,

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Speaker 4: I know we're going to ask you in a bit

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Speaker 4: so you don't answer it now, But like if you

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Speaker 4: became our next Golden Bachelorette, which we sure hope happens,

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Speaker 4: you're going to be a lot more skilled, know it

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Speaker 4: or not, because of your time on that show, then

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Speaker 4: you would have been. If you just came out of

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Speaker 4: nowhere and we're the lead, you'd just be better at it.

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Speaker 3: You would talk better, you would say, you.

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Speaker 4: Would communicate easier, you'd be less nervous, those type of things.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree. I think that even looking at how

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Speaker 5: he handled hometowns from this season, you know, going into it,

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Speaker 5: if he had been a participant in Jones season, for example,

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Speaker 5: he would have understood the magnitude of meeting someone's family

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Speaker 5: in a different way and may have gotten out of

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Speaker 5: the observer into the participant role. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I like the way that you put it, observer versus participant.

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Speaker 2: I also loved your self worth through this entire thing.

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Speaker 2: Some of the lines that you said, I know someone

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Speaker 2: will pick me, I hope it's you, or I don't

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Speaker 2: think I need to convince a man to love me.

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Speaker 2: I just loved hearing you stand up for yourself and

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Speaker 2: love yourself throughout the entire thing. And one of the

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Speaker 2: things that I think was very frustrating as a viewer.

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Speaker 2: I mean, to a certain degree, the bats are always

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Speaker 2: has to stay a little more hush hush as to

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Speaker 2: what his decisions are going to be down the road.

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Speaker 2: He was very focused on you going to the fantasy suite. Ultimately,

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Speaker 2: this was something that you decided not to do because

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Speaker 2: you just felt like it wasn't there or it wasn't

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Speaker 2: coming fast enough. Just you know, the it's not aus

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Speaker 2: of your relationship.

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Speaker 4: Thanks for the clarification, Ashley, Yeah, yeah, So what do

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Speaker 4: you think he was wanting to get across to.

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Speaker 2: You in the fantasy suite that it would have been

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Speaker 2: that big of a deal, or in my opinion, I

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Speaker 2: think he just was like shocked that you were kind

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Speaker 2: of leaving him, and his ego needed you to stay

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Speaker 2: long so that he could kind of make the decision

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Speaker 2: to dump you.

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Speaker 5: I don't think he was gonna I don't think he

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Speaker 5: was going to dump me. And I know there's a

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Speaker 5: narrative out there that it was always peg and I've

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Speaker 5: got some examples there to share with you. But you know,

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Speaker 5: here's what Mail was very his ego was bruised. I

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Speaker 5: won't say he's hurt, because I think his ego was

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Speaker 5: definitely bruised, and you could tell that by how he

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Speaker 5: behaved it after the final rows. Yeah, came out me

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Speaker 5: pretty harsh. If you look my cheek, that cheek. I

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Speaker 5: was sitting on the corner of the couch. I was

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Speaker 5: scouting as far away from him as I could because

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Speaker 5: he was just very aggressive with me. That was inappropriate

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Speaker 5: for any reason. But I understand his analogy. I should

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Speaker 5: stay to the end. But here's the alternative. I didn't

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Speaker 5: want to get to the point where he offered me

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Speaker 5: the Fantasy Suite and then I declined it. Maybe that

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Speaker 5: would have made for better TV, but I was being

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Speaker 5: a little bit more compassionate for that man for kind

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Speaker 5: of telling him where I was before he laid that

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Speaker 5: out on the line. But there was no way you

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Speaker 5: were going to put me in a compromising permit position

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Speaker 5: to go to the Fantasy Suite to hear what what

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Speaker 5: exactly was he going to tell me? If he couldn't

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Speaker 5: string together a sentence with more than four or five

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Speaker 5: words about anything, I'm not sure I have much faith

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Speaker 5: in what he could possibly have told me the Fantasy suite,

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Speaker 5: And there's a lot at stake. Listen, I'm a mother,

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Speaker 5: eventually I'm going to be a grandmother. I'm a friend,

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Speaker 5: I'm a sister, I'm a daughter. Going to the Phantasy suite.

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Speaker 5: Even if nothing happens, You're going to have to answer

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Speaker 5: to that the rest of your life. And I don't

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Speaker 5: take that lightly. And I was just at a point

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Speaker 5: where I knew he was not the man for me.

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Speaker 2: I just couldn't stand how he kept saying, you quit

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Speaker 2: before it was over, Like what, No, she was over

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Speaker 2: her jury, she ended it. Okay, that was the ending position.

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Speaker 2: She didn't quit.

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Speaker 5: We're playing a different game.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you laid everything out there for him, I mean,

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Speaker 4: and how it ends, Cindy, I'm interested now. I mean,

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Speaker 4: obviously he does end up with PEG.

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Speaker 1: But.

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Speaker 4: He didn't, you know, propose the peg. He gave her

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Speaker 4: a promise ring. Just let's play role play and say

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Speaker 4: you were there at the end and he offers you

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Speaker 4: that promise ring. With all the conversations you had had

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Speaker 4: that would you have accepted it?

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Speaker 5: What a joke? No? I mean, I think Carol said

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Speaker 5: it best. She got a promise ring when she was fourteen,

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Speaker 5: that I was heading off into my daughter's wedding. I'm

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Speaker 5: witnessing my beloved become betrothed to a man who stood

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Speaker 5: up and committed for her. And I've said it several

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Speaker 5: times before. I'm gonna say it again because I believe

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Speaker 5: this is one of the biggest principles that we need

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Speaker 5: to teach each other. There's a big difference between people

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Speaker 5: who want to share time with you. Why wouldn't they

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Speaker 5: were fabulous, right, We're fun to be around. I do

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Speaker 5: a lot of great stuff and everybody would love to

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Speaker 5: share time with me. But there's a difference between someone

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Speaker 5: who will share time with me and somebody who will

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Speaker 5: commit to me. And knowing the difference is going to

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Speaker 5: save you a ton of heartache and a ton of

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Speaker 5: confusion years of it. And I put myself in a

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Speaker 5: position where I've let people just take my time. Nothing

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Speaker 5: wrong with that. I have another bucket for people that

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Speaker 5: I date that I just do fun things with. But

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Speaker 5: if I'm looking for a relationship, you are you are

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Speaker 5: not going to give this woman a promise ring you

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Speaker 5: are full of wisdom.

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Speaker 2: Also, if you had gone to the fantasy suite blah

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Speaker 2: blah blah blah, and you had gone to that ceremony,

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Speaker 2: space for the proposal. Would it have been a promise

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Speaker 2: ring that he gave you, would it have been an

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Speaker 2: engagement ring? Or would he have left you there? If

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Speaker 2: you play out the scenario in your head.

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Speaker 5: Like, are you asking if I had a choice?

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Speaker 2: No, what do you think it would? How would have

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Speaker 2: played out if you did decide?

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Speaker 5: I don't think Mel has any intention on ever getting

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Speaker 5: married married. No, No, And you know I made and

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Speaker 5: when I said to him that I would move to California.

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Speaker 5: It's a little easy because my daughter lives there and

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Speaker 5: I don't have anybody who lives here in Austin. But

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Speaker 5: you know, he hasn't made He hadn't thought about what

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Speaker 5: his life would be like to change in any way

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Speaker 5: to make room. And it's just like I would not

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Speaker 5: have made it to that island. I think I would

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Speaker 5: have been.

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Speaker 6: Paddling, swimming, snraclings, ubi I would I would find a

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Speaker 6: way to get off that island, to run from from

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Speaker 6: Mel as an option for my future, which.

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Speaker 3: Is another great example of how did this happen?

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Speaker 4: Right? He and again I don't want and we've done

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Speaker 4: it over and over, but you know, he says the

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Speaker 4: things in the interview pre show and you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: this feels like this isn't a fit, right, And then

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Speaker 4: they had.

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Speaker 3: To have known. These producers are not dumb. There's there.

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Speaker 4: They're intelligent people that he didn't want to end up

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Speaker 4: in a in a marriage at the end of this

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Speaker 4: like why was this the choice they made? And that's

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Speaker 4: still confusing to me at this point, But it doesn't

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Speaker 4: change the fact that you were great and you did,

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Speaker 4: you know, put your steak in the sand and say

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Speaker 4: this is who I am, this is what I stand for, this.

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Speaker 3: Is what I'm going to do and not do.

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Speaker 4: And ultimately it did end up with you leaving. But

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Speaker 4: our producer and Ashley and myself are convinced Cindy that

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Speaker 4: you're not going to be single for long, that they're

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Speaker 4: going to be people. They probably already are. They've probably

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Speaker 4: been this way for years searching after you. Are you

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Speaker 4: out there actively dating? Has there been dates since the show?

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Speaker 4: I guess is where I'll stop first, and then that's

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Speaker 4: going to lead me into well, what's next.

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Speaker 5: I have been entertaining the idea of dating. I've had

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Speaker 5: a couple of dates. I also believe that this is

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Speaker 5: being single is a precious Season two and God has

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Speaker 5: me here. I'm here for a reason, has that church

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Speaker 5: on Sunday. And there was a gentleman next to me

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Speaker 5: who was kind of man spreading and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 5: stranger over here, let that leg over, and like he

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Speaker 5: was talking to his family, just kind of in an

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Speaker 5: outdoor of waite at church. And I remember thinking, these

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Speaker 5: are the annoying things about being in a relationship I

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Speaker 5: don't have to deal with. And there is a blessing

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Speaker 5: about being single and having these choices that I have.

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Speaker 5: And I don't know that we need to spend our

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Speaker 5: life fervently seeking a relationship. I think my man is

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Speaker 5: fervently going to look for me, and I hope he's

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Speaker 5: he's building a big life and not spending all of

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Speaker 5: his energy looking for me, and norm will I spend

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Speaker 5: all my energy looking for him. I believe it. It

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Speaker 5: will happen if it's mean to If not, I mean,

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Speaker 5: I love a great life. I've got a great family,

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Speaker 5: great friends, and no, I just I feel very grateful

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Speaker 5: that your follow up question.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if obviously this year Paradise.

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Speaker 4: Invited Golden's down, but then you also have this thing

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Speaker 4: that we don't know if it's going to exist or not.

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Speaker 4: As we mentioned the Golden Bachelorette, would you say yes

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Speaker 4: to both those if those are provided and those opportunities

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Speaker 4: came in front of you, or do you say no

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Speaker 4: to both?

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Speaker 3: Or yes to one no to the other.

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Speaker 5: I've had a blast with everything I've done with this season.

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Speaker 5: Everybody has been fantastic. I have had such a blast.

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Speaker 5: And I started this year twenty twenty five with a

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Speaker 5: motto just to say yes, right, and I had found

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Speaker 5: myself in previous years and this there's some more wisdom

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Speaker 5: for you, this mommy wisdom. They call me Mama Colors

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Speaker 5: for a reason because I give too much advice. I

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Speaker 5: started putting that. I started putting things off, like, hey,

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Speaker 5: do you want to join us? And believe this year

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Speaker 5: we're taking a family trip. Well it's kind of a

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Speaker 5: bad time for me. Maybe next year. Hey do you

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Speaker 5: want to go? Well, I don't know. This weekend's not good.

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Speaker 5: What about next? I was putting off some fun things

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Speaker 5: and in January I just made an agreement with the

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Speaker 5: universe and God to say yes. And that's kind of

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Speaker 5: where I am. It's led to the most fun things.

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Speaker 5: This gold and Butscher was a blast and we had

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Speaker 5: met such great friends and had such a great experience.

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Speaker 5: So I'm just going to continue to say yes. And

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Speaker 5: you know, there's opportunities that are brought to me, there

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Speaker 5: would be a reason for them, and I'm just going

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Speaker 5: to continue to say yes to the universe for what

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Speaker 5: that holds.

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Speaker 2: I love that I've done that in phases of my

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Speaker 2: life as well.

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Speaker 5: It is don't do it anymore. Just say yes, man,

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Speaker 5: just big bold yes. Capital.

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Speaker 2: When you watch the show back, did you feel that

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Speaker 2: he ended up with the right person, that like Peg,

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Speaker 2: is better suited for him, or do you feel like

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Speaker 2: she was the more the choice that perhaps put less

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Speaker 2: pressure on him.

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Speaker 5: I want Meil to be extraordinarily happy. I do. I

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Speaker 5: think that he will end up a different person in

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Speaker 5: a relationship with Peg than he would with me, and

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Speaker 5: I think he could find a happiness with both. But

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Speaker 5: I think that this is this is kind of more

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Speaker 5: of what he's looking for, more like, oh, it doesn't matter,

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Speaker 5: let's just you know, get to know each other. And

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Speaker 5: and so I think this is probably ended up exactly

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Speaker 5: the way it needed to. I know it did for me.

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Speaker 5: This ended up exactly the way it needed to.

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Speaker 4: Kay, that's my final question for you is you sit

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Speaker 4: there today you know you're still in the midst of it.

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Speaker 4: It is fun that you're getting to know some of

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Speaker 4: the past women from the show and they're amazing.

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Speaker 3: And are you happy you did it, I guess is

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Speaker 3: my question.

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Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely absolutely, this was such a fabulous experience. I'm

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Speaker 5: happy I did it for a lot of reasons, for

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Speaker 5: all those that you mentioned, for the people that I've

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Speaker 5: met along the way, including today. You guys are awesome

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Speaker 5: what you know, amazing souls and spirits I've been able

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Speaker 5: to meet along the way. Had a great time in

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Speaker 5: the mansion. Although I'm really excited about the renovations. We

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Speaker 5: sure need them. But not just that I learned more

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Speaker 5: about myself going through here, going through this process. My

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Speaker 5: kids learned about me. My friends I think see me differently.

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Speaker 5: There's just blessings that pop out all the time that

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Speaker 5: are that are unexpected, and it's been great.

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Speaker 2: We love getting to know you more through this interview.

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Speaker 2: You've lived up and beyond as to what we thought

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Speaker 2: you were based on TV.

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Speaker 5: They're so sweet. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and goodness, gracious, Cindy, I really hope your story

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Speaker 4: on our TVs is not done. But I also hope

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Speaker 4: you find somebody they find you outside of that show.

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Speaker 3: That's my hope.

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Speaker 4: It's a pleasure having you here, and we appreciate you,

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Speaker 4: we respect you, and thank you for being who you are.

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Speaker 4: This has been the Almost Famous podcast and I've been.

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Speaker 5: Been, I've been Ashley, and I've been grateful and let's go.

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Speaker 3: That's a first.

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Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcasts on

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.