WEBVTT - Kathy Kinney 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:03.640 My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:08.440 is Joy. I talk to interest in people about what 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:09.520 brings them happiness. 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:13.440 Here's Kathy Kenney. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.640 She played Mimi Terror and Blue Eyeshadow on The Drew 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:25.480 Carey Show and Joy. All right, Kathy, you're on this 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:28.480 podcast because you are a joy in my life. 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:29.280 Why. 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:31.800 There's nothing I like better than the hearing the sound 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:33.919 of you sucking on. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:41.839 A lozenge, clicking it against your teeth. Kathy, you are 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:42.240 a joy. 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:42.520 Now. 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:45.760 I wanted to talk to you about joy because you 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:46.960 are good at it. 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.040 I've thought about joy a lot. 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:53.599 It's because you're from the Midwest and you're chronically depressed 0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:54.320 in reality. 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:55.320 I think that it is. 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:58.080 I don't know, you know, I think that I've always 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:02.800 been one of these people who who's very Pollyanna, which 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:07.560 can be a four letter word, you know, Pollyanna. Don't 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:10.360 you know. I'm not chooting my own horn, but I 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:12.920 but I feel like I need to explain the joy thing. 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:13.640 You know. 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:18.839 I wrote a book with my best friend Cindy Rats laugh. 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:20.200 I remember Cindy Rat's laugh. 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:21.240 Yeah, that's her real name. 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:24.840 Yeah, Because she I would sometimes say she's all women, 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.280 But then you would say, no, no, no, it's Peggy Ricey. 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:28.199 It's all women. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.560 I like to keep your memory in line. But yeah, 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:36.360 they're both all women. Really, yeah, I suppose that is true. Yeah, 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.680 I know when you think about it. Yeah, But Cindy 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.760 and I wrote a book called Ready, Queen of your 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:43.960 Own Life, The grown Up Woman's Guide to Claiming happiness 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:45.280 and getting the life you deserve. 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:48.080 That's great. Is anything left for the book once you 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:48.919 finish the title? 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.160 No, And that's what having an editor does for you. 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:54.840 By the way, because I just I might have called 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.680 it the book, but you know, she Chaffy's book, the 0:01:57.720 --> 0:02:00.200 book with a friend, Peggy, Cindy and ath. 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:03.840 See. Now I've got Peggy Risky in my mind because 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:04.600 she's all woman. 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:05.440 She's all woman. 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:05.960 Yeah. 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:08.280 The reason why I said that is because I met 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:11.320 her with you and I said that Peggy Risky, she's 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:11.760 all woman. 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.040 Is that what I said? Yes, you did. And it's 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:16.600 funny because I just told somebody the other day. Sometimes 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:19.200 Craig thinks it's Cindy and he goes, Cindy, rats last, 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:22.240 she's all woman, And then I go, no, that's Peggy Risky, 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:25.280 that's all woman. Oh right, right, you go. And then 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:26.600 we've had this conversation we. 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:29.720 Have and here's the thing. They're both all women, Yes 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.920 they are. Yeah, I know, I just and from the Midwest, right, 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:37.320 indeed are you? So I could say, Kathleen Kenny, she's 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:40.600 all women from the Midwest, now, but you're from them? 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:41.160 I see. 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:46.160 I think the Midwest is misrepresented in American popular culture, 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:49.280 and I will tell you why, because I think the 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:51.040 Midwest is quite scary. 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:53.760 Serial killers. 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:58.600 Yeah, beer, cheese, what's scary? Well, I'm beer scary to me. 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:01.520 Cheese can sell. I know cheese can be scary to 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:05.440 you because you can be a bit lack toast Tootsie. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:05.839 More than a bit. 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:09.480 Yeah, And serial killers are just nobody's idea of fun 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:12.360 except people who do podcasts. Apparently, people who do podcast 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:15.320 there's a lot of podcasts about serial killers. 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:17.920 That's true. Yeah, you know, I grew up not in 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:21.240 the same era, contrary to popular belief about my age, 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:25.240 but I grew up about twenty five miles from where 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:31.200 ed Gean slaughtered people and offered Hitchcock based psycho on 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:31.840 ed Gar ed. 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:34.120 Gean really to ddress up as his mom and stuff. 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:35.480 You spit out your loss. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.560 And I am because I'm getting ready to talk about joy, 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:40.320 so I don't want to get the los Andes stuck 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:41.120 on the microphone. 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:43.600 See when you were playing Mimi. I remember when you 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.200 were playing Mimi on the Drew Carey Show. 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.760 I realized, now, it's rare that I've seen you not 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:52.280 drinking with a straw, because you always have to have 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:52.800 a straw. 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.840 When you had that makeup on I remember that, do 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:55.200 you remember? 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.720 Yes, Obviously you'd be like, you'd be talking, talking, and 0:03:58.760 --> 0:03:59.400 then you'd go. 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:01.600 And your little straw. 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:05.640 Anyway, so you grew up next to Edgen. The siou 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:07.320 Kella that was based on ed. 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:12.600 Gen, but surprisingly with a positive attitude, which eventually now 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.280 you tell me, here's why we wrote that book. Because 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:19.160 I would go places after I you know, when I 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:22.159 was on the Drew Carrey Show and after and people 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:26.880 would say, you're on TV, I'd love to see your hosts. 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.480 Well, like people that we're in your neighborhood and stuff. Well, 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.680 it's just everywhere everywhere. People who didn't and people would 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:38.280 say things like are you that movie star? And I'm like, no, 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.960 I'm a TV whore, completely different. 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.239 It's not really, it's kind of the same. 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:45.960 It is the same. But I wrote that book with 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:49.880 Cindy because I really believe that we are all more 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:53.679 alike than different. You know, I empty the litter box 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.119 one turd at a time, just like everybody else. 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.839 Now here's the thing. I never empty the letter box. 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:02.080 I don't even have a cat. 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.520 Oh well, see that, you win. But if I had 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:06.200 a cat, do you know if a cat thought you 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:06.800 did have a cat? 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:08.919 Oh? You know there's some thing about pets is they 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:09.360 all die? 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:11.719 Yeah, I know it's terrifying. 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:16.480 But here's the thing. Joy, I've thought about it a lot, right, Okay, 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:21.560 because I had joy when I came and saw you 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.880 at the Brea Improv because I hadn't seen you in 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:29.240 maybe four or five years or five years, and there 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:33.440 you were in your full comic glory, and you were 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.440 so funny and you it reminded me of all the 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:40.120 good times that we had on the Carry Show. 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:42.599 We did have good time, we did, you and I. Yeah, no, 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:44.840 I mean it wasn't. It wasn't a good time there. 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:45.200 All the time. 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:47.320 No, but you and I always said a good time 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:50.320 riding around in the cart going yeah, yeah, that's right, 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:51.240 making noises. 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:54.839 We would make noises because we had these little golf 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:56.880 carts and we would ride around the Warner Brothers law 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:58.160 and go to Western Town. 0:05:58.400 --> 0:05:59.240 Yes at the back. 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:00.520 Why did we go with the We used to get 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:02.599 frozen yogurt and go for a run in the car. 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:06.080 I think we were bored. I think we were bored too. 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:08.760 I think I was bored because all I did on 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:10.800 the Drew k Show every now and again is I'd 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:14.440 run on and go gettio fired and then maybe that's enough. 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:19.400 Not that pen, yeah you need the the wrong pen, 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.200 but that they would do occasionally things like that, and 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.080 you would do a lot more work than me. 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:27.680 But you were nicest to me on that show. 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:32.400 Yeah, I think that. I My heritage is Scottish, Yeah, 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:36.400 for sure. Well Kenny Kenny, Kenny's Irish. I think I 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:39.760 think pro Irish. Actually, you know, one of my cousins 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:43.719 traced it all the way back through Ethel the Acrobat, 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:47.039 who evidently married into our family. Wasn't one of my 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:48.400 personal relatives. 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:51.200 But this was her name, the acrobat. 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:54.520 Ethel the Acrobat was how she was builled. 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:59.280 Right, and and she she was in vaudeville. 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:02.200 Evidently there was a picture of her sitting on her 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:05.720 husband's shoulder with her hand in the air right. And 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:07.360 then there was a third guy in the act. I 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:10.040 don't know if he swallowed swords or fire. 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:14.080 Right, So it was some weird manajatoire with Ethel her 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:15.640 husband and the sword swaller. 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:19.880 She was an acrobats. Anyway, my cousin, one of my cousins, 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:22.120 traced it all the way back. We're sort of from 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:28.120 that hinterland of Scotland and Ireland. Oh yeah, it was 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:32.480 McKinney and it was. But my family could never stand 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.960 anyone place, so they they all migrated towards the potatoes 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.320 and to Ireland and then and then to New York 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:42.640 and then and Canada, which is why I gave everybody. 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.040 My aunt wanted to know how much Native American we 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.920 were so she could gamble at the casinos. So I 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.800 gave everybody that the DNA spit in the tube thing, 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.440 it was one percent for her. 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:54.280 You're one, are you one percent? 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:54.520 No? 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:55.840 I was zero. 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:58.920 Just it ended with her. But so she was angry. 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:01.520 And she also found out that we're mostly we're French 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:05.000 and Irish. But she found out when after spitting in 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:08.840 the test tube that she was twenty one percent English 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:12.840 and only sixteen percent Irish, and it made her very 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:15.280 angry because you know how the Irish feel about the English. 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:18.920 Yeah, that would you'd be conflicted to find out you're 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:20.480 somebody that you're not that fond of. 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:22.520 Yeah. I got that in my own life when I 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:24.040 was drinking. I found out I. 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:26.920 Was somebody It's not that bond though, and that's why 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.200 I had to get sober. You're a person who I 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:30.960 think of is you're not an alcoholic or anything, but 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:34.080 you're someone who I think of as being weirdly. And 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:35.440 I hope you don't take this the wrong way, because 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:38.560 I mean it's a compliment. Sober you seem to me 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:45.880 someone who has gone through difficulties personally, emotionally maybe and 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:49.840 kind of come out the other side into joy. Well, 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:51.600 certainly it's a clarity. 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:52.920 You see how I'm I keep trying to bring a back. 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:55.000 Yeah, no, it's good you're keeping it on message, but 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:57.000 I tend not to do that. 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:01.360 Yeah, that's okay. I agree with Do I think that, 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:06.640 you know, surviving the Midwest and yeah. 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:08.400 Many people are very happy and comfortable. 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:11.240 Yeah, and you know, if I went back there, I 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:13.040 wouldn't I mean one time, a couple of years ago, 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:16.240 I was on your doing your radio thing, and you 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.679 asked me if I had any interest in moving back 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:21.280 to where I was from, and I said no. But also, 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:24.440 you know, they have snow up beyond your hairline there, 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.640 and I just I can't do that anymore. But I 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:32.440 think that everybody gets a chance to survive their childhood. 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:35.520 And was your childhood difficulty you think I. 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.440 Think it was. You know, I had a good time. 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.920 I don't mean to fling the word joy out so often, 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.400 but you know, I was an only child and I 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:44.920 still am. 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.760 And you know, you think there's any chance that you 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:49.240 guessing anything. 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:51.679 I don't know. You know, my mother was adopted, so 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:56.000 that was why we did all the spin like that. Yeah, 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.240 that didn't help anyway. There were no other children. I 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:02.960 already knew that. But my father was ill, and he 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:04.959 was when you were a kid, when I was a kid, 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:08.439 from the time I was five until I was fifteen 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:11.480 when he died. And you know, I come from that 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.880 weird Irish family that everyone neglected to tell me that 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:16.959 he was dying. And then one day I came home 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:18.600 and he was dead, and I was like, oh, it 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:22.679 was so surprising, but it was wrong. He had emphysema. 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:27.479 Oh wow, he had bronchial asthma. But then he had emphysema, 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:30.599 and of course everybody smoked, and I remember being a 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:34.800 kid saying I'm never going to smoke, and then promptly 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:39.000 after he died, I began smoking. Because we're so self destructive. 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:41.760 No, I think that's also you're probably in a law 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:46.640 of grief because you know, it's difficult, particularly if you 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:48.640 come from the kind of background that we kind of 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:52.560 both come from. Then grief is it's like I it's 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:56.240 very bad, and then you stop, and that's and I don't. 0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:58.480 It's never been my experience. I mean, I was still 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:00.960 grieving about my parents dying, and it's years and years 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:04.640 and years ago. It never goes away, it just becomes different. Yeah, 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:05.240 it's funny. 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:07.760 I think that this country is just not very good 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:09.880 with grief, and I know that my family in particular 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.360 wasn't because my father died and then we didn't mention 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:17.319 him again. Yeah for twenty twenty five years. 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:18.600 That's kind of like the mafia. 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:23.040 Yeah, that's well, that's like the healthy Yeah, as though 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:24.600 I mean he's like, you have the wake and then 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:25.680 it's done, and then you move on. 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.000 Then you move on. Yeah, And I think you know, 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.200 one time I had a massage, one of these deep 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.360 tissue massages after I moved to New York. 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:34.560 I was going to say, you didn't get that, No. 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.640 Not in the Midwest, and you probably could now though 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:40.920 you could would involve beer and geez. I imagine. 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:41.440 I don't know. 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:43.559 I had a few serial killers, but I had this, 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:49.079 and I didn't realize how armored I was until I 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:54.320 had that deep tissue massage. It's like so painful and 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:59.160 the release of I think I was just clenched since 0:11:59.240 --> 0:11:59.960 my father died. 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.520 Yeah, because were you close to your dad? 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.840 I was. My mother was an unusual woman, and I 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.160 think that my father and I were always like, oh, 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:12.200 she's kind of different. Okay, in what way was she unusually? 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:15.079 She was adopted, right, but I mean a lot of 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.199 people are on her birth certificate when she was born. 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.000 She was born one year after they stopped putting the 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:24.120 word Bastard on birth certificates. 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:27.320 I'd written after my name. 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:31.319 I thought that was your middle name, Craig Bastard ferguson stuff. 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:35.839 I like podcasts because you can say things like bastard. 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:37.600 You can't say bastard. Yeah. Yeah. 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:42.199 So my mother never believed that she was loved ah, 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.800 and that's something that she hung onto all her life. 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.640 You know, you tell yourself these stories to get by 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:52.679 in life. And I think that any clarity that you 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:56.360 see in me is because I told myself lots of stories, like, 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:58.920 you know, you're not attractive, you're not smart, you're not funny, 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:00.880 you're not you know, all the not just fill in 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:03.360 the blank. And then because I sort of got that 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:06.840 from my mother. And then, you know, one day in 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:09.640 the Midwest. I've cleaned this up a little bit, but 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:14.199 it's called poop or Get off the Pot. Well, in 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:16.640 the book, we wrote poop or Get Off the Pot 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:20.240 about how you feel about yourself. And you know, one 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:27.040 day I thought, oh, I am brilliantly funny. And after 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:29.520 Drew Carry's show, you know, I own my own home, 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:33.920 I'm worth some money. Anybody would be lucky to have me. 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:35.520 You're fabulously wealthy. 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:40.120 Yeah, yeah, you're flous fabulous. Yeah I'm not. One time 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:42.280 I said I want to be Drew Carrey wealthy and 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.560 he said, well, you're Kathy Kidney wealthy, and I go, 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.720 I am, but it's not the same, trust me. But 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:52.840 I made the decision that I was pretty good. And 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.960 you know, there's a grace that comes from letting go 0:13:56.000 --> 0:14:00.000 of the pain of your childhood and moving forward. 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:05.480 Word, was there any formal kind of ceremony or program 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:09.000 or system that you went through to move from the 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:11.160 pain in your childhood? Was kind of like it because 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:14.880 there wasn't a rehab or anything like that, right, No, I. 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:17.079 Mean there was alcohol, drugs. 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:18.760 Did you you did all that then, Candy? 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.200 Oh god, yeah, I mean I was in a lot 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:23.440 of pain. Like I said, they neglected to tell me 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:25.440 that my father was going to die, so it was 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:29.560 very shocking. And then the thing, I'd always wanted to travel, 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:34.080 and so I just slowly jocking myself in the position 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.080 so that I could travel. 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:40.440 And that's what you became an actress. And that was 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.960 an accident though that wasn't because I don't really believe 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:44.720 in accidents like that. 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.880 You tell me, well, that's that's the point, and here's 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:52.600 here's the point. But as we slide slide in towards joy, 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:57.120 you know, the only skills I had when I was 0:14:57.240 --> 0:15:00.280 in Wisconsin was I was a bartender, right, and dirt 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:04.440 bag bar that used to be called Cora Nimchek's Long Branch. 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:09.160 It wreaked a vomit from lumberjacks who had puked there 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:12.360 back in eighteen thirty nine, and it just soaked in. 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:15.720 So I was eighteen and I was, you know, the 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.640 bartender there right. And my other skill I went to 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:21.479 college and I put myself through college as a carpenter 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:23.000 in the scene shop. 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:25.720 Wow, I don't know, I've never seen you. 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:30.360 Oh I'm good at carpentry. Okay, I'm good with power tools. 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:34.720 So when I was in college, these are my two 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:38.160 skills bartending. And I'm not talking about can you make 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:42.040 me a Manhattan? I'm talking about, you know, whiskey beer 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.600 and a shot of Schnops's. 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.560 Content is Everything else is just conversation. 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:49.880 Like I was the head bartender for weddings at Bernard's 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:52.120 Supper Club and they'd say, what do you got? And 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:56.400 I go, I got beer, I got brandy, I got squirked, 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:59.400 and I got brandy and squirked and they go, Oliver 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.280 brandy and. 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:03.560 Can you have a square on his own? I'm asking 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:04.040 for a friend. 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:08.640 It's a grapefruit. Oh okay, it's a very prominent grapefruit. 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:10.360 So I thought it was so when I left there 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.320 and I got a free ride out to Manhattan with 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.440 the self esteem below sea level and these two skills 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.320 of the carpenter I wanted in the scene show. 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:20.840 How did you get a free How did you get? 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:21.960 From Steven's point? 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.520 I was friends with the woman who was a dance 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.680 teacher at the university, and she got a job teaching 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:31.760 at Amherst College. So she needed somebody to drive her 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:37.480 twenty six foot U haul from Wisconsin to Massachusetts. And 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.440 I had been driving this library show waggon around with 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:43.920 these vivid pictures on it, driving around to the smaller towns, 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:47.080 putting on plays because I was in the technical I 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:47.960 was a tech director. 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.360 Oh right, so you have no yeah. 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.880 No intention of acting whatsoever. So I drive her truck 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:57.600 out and we get out to New York and there's 0:16:57.640 --> 0:16:59.360 a blackout immediately. 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:00.520 A black in New York. 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:05.440 I think I remember that that was in the eighties, yo, 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.520 back in the ages. A few black in New York 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.439 in the age, but I think I think there might 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:10.399 have been a city wide one. 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:13.800 It went, this was city wide. And you know, I'm 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:17.359 that person who's had so many because again, my self 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:19.480 esteem was so low. I didn't think I could get 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.199 a job as a bartender in Manhattan. I didn't think 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.040 I was attractive enough. And besides, I know how to 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.959 make anything other than baron schnapps. You know, So I 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:33.639 had jobs that really, there's the book. You know, I 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:36.560 was living for a crippled X Vogue model. 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:39.760 Well, you like that sounds like a Bay Davis movie. 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:44.520 It was. It was awful, and I worked for art 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:46.159 carved diamond and class rings. 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.240 Let's go back to the Betty Davis movie. 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.840 Okay, I'm not sure, you really don't want any more 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.879 details on And then I'm you know, that was it? 0:17:55.440 --> 0:18:01.480 Live in for a crippled X Vogue bedridden x Vogue model? 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:06.360 To you, No, she was bed ridden, I mean to her. No, No, 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:08.840 I thought about taking her life. It's the closest I 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:14.800 hope I ever come to taking anyone's life. Why because 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:16.760 I didn't think I deserved a better job. 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:22.080 Why did you take the job killing her? 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:22.320 Oh? 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:26.480 Because she had ten pillows behind her head and she 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:28.760 go every night I go, okay, good night, I go 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:31.399 to bed. Three o'clock in the morning, she go catty, catty, 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:35.560 Cathy Okay, can you flatten the yellow pillow? Can you 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:39.080 roll the pink pillow? Can you plump the blue pillow? 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:42.080 Every night? Every night? And after about a month and 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:44.240 a half, you know, I stood there with that yellow pillow, 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:48.200 just shaking like because the part I'm leaving out all 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:50.440 this stuff. I mean, I'm not always prone to murder. 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.320 But no, I've never discussed murder with you at all. 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.639 No. She she had a thirteen year old daughter whose 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.840 bed butted into the side of her hospital bed. She 0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:06.240 believed her daughter was the reincarnation of Judy Garland, and 0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:09.119 she would torture the daughter. You know, I have to 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:10.760 go to the bathroom. I have to go to the bathroom. 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:12.960 That's all. I'm going to leave it until I had 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:16.840 to get up and handle it. The woman's bed ridden. Wait, 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:19.440 the daughter didn't help her go to the bathroom. She did, 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:23.000 but she was thirteen. Yeah, she was tired. It was 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:23.800 the middle of the night. 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:27.959 What happened to the daughter, is she? Okay, you don't know. 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:31.440 Maybe you do know? This is getting too bad? Is 0:19:31.440 --> 0:19:32.320 again litigious? 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:35.960