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Speaker 1: This episode discussed its early pregnancy loss view discretion is advised.

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Speaker 1: If you're someone you know has had a miscarriage and

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Speaker 1: need support, please call the Miscarriage and Abortion Hotline at

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Speaker 1: one eight three three two four six two six three two.

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Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie.

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Speaker 1: I'm Christahine Hazlet, and today I have with me. Ain't

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Speaker 1: this whatch? I've been waiting for it because y'all have

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Speaker 1: been asking for this one, says Kadeen Ellis my love,

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Speaker 1: My god, thanks, I would.

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Speaker 2: Like jump across you. I'm so happy to be here.

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Speaker 2: I am so happy to be on this couch with you.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm happy. Yes, Oh my god, our schedules finally aligned.

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Speaker 1: We got you on the couch. I'm so excited now.

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Speaker 1: And people y'all have been willing this, like they're like,

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Speaker 1: what are you gonna have Kadean on? When are gonna Yeah?

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Speaker 2: It's adult life, though, it's like you literally have to

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Speaker 2: like cross reference schedule just to like see someone that

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Speaker 2: you really want to see.

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Speaker 1: No, seriously, it is crazy. I find myself like trying

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Speaker 1: to get on people's calendar just to spend time with him.

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Speaker 1: Because our schedules are so crazy, for sure. Are you

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Speaker 1: free this day? All right? Absolutely?

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Speaker 2: In the calendar in right now? You know? So? Are

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Speaker 2: we gonna pencil the center is? It's a sharpie like

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Speaker 2: sometimes you need that time. Absolutely decompressing enough for sure.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so happy you're here. When I think about Ukadeen,

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Speaker 1: I think of the song I'm every Woman. So we're

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Speaker 1: gonna sing it a little.

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Speaker 2: Bit now we classic now see me. I love it. Well,

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Speaker 2: you stay at you. What you're not about to do

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Speaker 2: is that.

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Speaker 1: I got it.

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Speaker 2: My karaoke segments be terrible.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that's what it's fun if you want

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Speaker 1: to try. Okay, al right, like this every woom mon,

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Speaker 1: it's allid me.

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Speaker 3: Anything you won't do, I do it naturally.

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Speaker 1: You're harmonizing it.

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Speaker 2: Though, I mean even heard it.

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Speaker 1: I mean I heard the armies.

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Speaker 2: I've been hanging around you a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I love it.

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Speaker 2: I love the good one. Thank you of course.

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Speaker 1: No, you really are? You really are. I want to

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Speaker 1: let the people know who you are. I know most

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Speaker 1: of you already know this, But Kadeen Ellis is a

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Speaker 1: host actress with credits on Tyler Pays Bruh and Will

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Speaker 1: Packer's Bigger. She completed a BA in Broadcast Journalism and

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Speaker 1: her m A and Speech Communications, Rhetorical Studies and Performance

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Speaker 1: Studies at Halstraw University. She is also the co host

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Speaker 1: of Webby Award winning podcasts Dead Ass with Kadeen and

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Speaker 1: de Val, New York Times best selling author of We

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Speaker 1: Over Me, A Wife and a Mom to Four Whole Boys.

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Speaker 2: I love how you always around it out with the

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Speaker 2: Whole Boys. It's always crazy when I hear my I guess,

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Speaker 2: like a biography or like someone like you know, introduces me,

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Speaker 2: because it's so easy to get lost in the shuffle

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Speaker 2: of like I'm not doing enough for like what's next,

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Speaker 2: and not even like thinking about the things that I've accomplished.

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Speaker 2: So every time I hear like Webby Award winning podcast

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Speaker 2: or I hear you know New York Times bestseller, it's

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Speaker 2: just that's.

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Speaker 1: Huge, you daddy, It's you.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I can imagine all the things you've achieved.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like I'm just scratching the surface

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Speaker 2: exactly the crazy part of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that. I love that the first time

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Speaker 1: we met or that was introduced to you was actually

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Speaker 1: when I was Season two Sisters, and I don't think

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Speaker 1: I had met you yet personally, but I was introduced

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Speaker 1: as Devo's new love interest and I was afraid to

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Speaker 1: kiss him. And he called you and was like, can

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Speaker 1: you please tell this girl it's okay.

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Speaker 2: It's okay, and it's like okay.

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Speaker 1: And that was the first time we actually talked on

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Speaker 1: face time. I was like, oh my gosh, she's so cool.

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Speaker 1: And then we developed our own friendship outside of me

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Speaker 1: and Devo's friendship. Yeah. Sure, did I appreciate you for that?

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Speaker 2: No, girl, You know it's funny because I think people

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Speaker 2: just want to naturally expect for us to have.

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Speaker 1: Me Yeah, Like why, Like, we're.

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Speaker 2: Both professionals, we're both in the industry. Deval have it

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Speaker 2: to call me to FaceTime to be like, just tell

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Speaker 2: her it's okay. I mean, just even that, just let

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Speaker 2: me know that. I'm just like, all right, well, it

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Speaker 2: matters to you, and it really doesn't have to like,

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Speaker 2: it's not your responsibility as a professional in a professional

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Speaker 2: work environment to make me feel comfortable with what my

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Speaker 2: husband is doing as his job as a professional. I mean,

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Speaker 2: the fact that that even had to happen, that exchange.

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Speaker 2: It was funny. We laughed about it, but I'm like, girl,

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Speaker 2: you got to kiss that man and cash that check, okay,

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Speaker 2: because we got four hole boys like we say hello

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Speaker 2: and stuff to do, and you know I'm saying, and

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Speaker 2: we understand what it is like just being in the industry.

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Speaker 2: I think that's the positive that comes from having a

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Speaker 2: spouse who's who are both in the industry, because we

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Speaker 2: understand how these love scenes work. We understand how like

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Speaker 2: how unattractive it is in the in the moment, like

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Speaker 2: there's nothing sexy about.

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Speaker 1: Sexy, nothing at all.

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Speaker 2: It's literally like literally acting. So I appreciate that you

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Speaker 2: after that then took the extra mouth to say like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm Crystal, and you reached out and we

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Speaker 2: found out that we had so many things in common

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Speaker 2: and we literally just hit it off.

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Speaker 1: Yes literally like after a while was.

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Speaker 2: Just like, well, who's friend is it? Anyway? He's my friend,

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Speaker 2: Like you know, So I appreciate that about you just

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Speaker 2: taking that extra initiative to do that, because you really

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Speaker 2: didn't have to do. None of my husband's co stars,

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Speaker 2: whether it's a man or a woman, owe me anything.

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Speaker 2: And it's the same thing with me. When I'm doing

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Speaker 2: my face work.

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Speaker 1: It's worked, and I finally got into that realization that

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Speaker 1: this is where can learn how to separate Crystal from

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Speaker 1: the characters. Yes, because that was hard for me in

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Speaker 1: the beginning. Really, it was so hard, because.

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Speaker 2: Why do you think, is it because you tapped into

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Speaker 2: Crystal for the character or.

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Speaker 1: Was it just I feel like it was one just

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Speaker 1: not knowing how to separate. That's my first real big role,

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Speaker 1: you know, So just understanding there is a separation and

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Speaker 1: then separating my morals with the character. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: so that was it was. It was tough for in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, trying to separate and just even get comfortable in.

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Speaker 2: That right right right now, I can get it's hard

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Speaker 2: to total line because the audience sometimes they can't make

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Speaker 2: the difference out either.

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Speaker 1: No, they cannot, you know, so that's.

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Speaker 2: Hard to navigate you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I don't envy you guys, because I'm like, man,

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Speaker 2: people run up with a Valan expect him to be

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Speaker 2: Zach at the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm Fatima.

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Speaker 2: You're Fatima Patina.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'd be like, like.

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Speaker 2: You didn't hear it because my name is Crystal. But

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Speaker 2: I get it if people have that familiarity and they relate.

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Speaker 1: So yes, no, for sure, and we appreciate it, really

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Speaker 1: do for sure. But today I want to know Kadeen

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Speaker 1: outside of being a wife and a mother. I want

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Speaker 1: to know you, and I feel like the world needs

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Speaker 1: to know more of who you are. I agree. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So you were raised in a family from the Islands.

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Speaker 1: You were the oldest of three siblings. Shout out Sakari, interested.

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Speaker 2: Those are my babies before my babies.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly, and that's what I want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: How was you being the oldest. A lot of times

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Speaker 1: there's pressure put on the oldest child and then you

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Speaker 1: end up being like they ended up being your babies

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Speaker 1: as well. That's how it was for me, my little

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Speaker 1: brother that was like my first baby.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, I think there was a great deal of pressure

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Speaker 2: on me. Not that it was necessarily placed on by

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Speaker 2: my parents, but knowing my parents struggle and where they

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Speaker 2: came from, I feel like it was that there was

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Speaker 2: no other way than for me to make them proud.

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Speaker 2: So everything that I did, every decision that I made,

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Speaker 2: even when I was like really young, I could think

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Speaker 2: as early as like ten eleven twelve, like everything I

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Speaker 2: thought about doing, I always thought about my parents first, Well,

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Speaker 2: this make my family proud because I only was I

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Speaker 2: the first child, I was the first grandchild. I'm the

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Speaker 2: first niece. Like I was really that on my mom's

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Speaker 2: side and on my dad's side. I had a couple

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Speaker 2: cousins before me, but I really took to heart the

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Speaker 2: responsibility that I had to be the leader by example.

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Speaker 2: So you know, I was literally like my sister's mom,

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Speaker 2: second mom. She's ten years younger than me. My brother's

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Speaker 2: four years younger. I'm still like his mom. So this

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Speaker 2: day I'm like Tristan really, but yeah, I just know

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Speaker 2: how difficult it was from my parents when they came

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Speaker 2: up from the Islands. My mom was seventeen when she

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Speaker 2: came up from Jamaica by herself and was staying with

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Speaker 2: you know, a family friend and then another family friend.

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Speaker 2: And she was the oldest of six as well, so

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Speaker 2: she was right. So she had to learn how to

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Speaker 2: navigate in this brand new country with nothing, and her

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Speaker 2: mom was like, you need to make something of yourself,

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Speaker 2: go to nursing school. So my mom came up here,

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Speaker 2: was living with a family friend. She started working at

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Speaker 2: Burger King to just you know, make some cash. While

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Speaker 2: she was in nursing school well, finishing up college first

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Speaker 2: and then nursing school, worked her way up to become

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Speaker 2: a manager at Burger King, then eventually got into the hospital.

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Speaker 2: When she graduated from nursing school, she met my dad,

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Speaker 2: you know, then they had me so just seeing how

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Speaker 2: diligent my mom was, you know, and she didn't take

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Speaker 2: no for an answer, And to this day she's still

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Speaker 2: that way her work ethic. If anything, That's where I

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Speaker 2: get it from. It's like her and my dad really

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Speaker 2: had to make a way out of no way. So

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Speaker 2: failure was not an option for me. Disappointing my family

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Speaker 2: was not an option for me, And that was just

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Speaker 2: something innate. That's something that I felt like I owed them,

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Speaker 2: because so many times you hear as parents we talk

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Speaker 2: about the things we sacrifice for our children. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: I don't necessarily think that it's a sacrifice for the children.

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Speaker 2: You have children, and you want to give them the best.

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Speaker 2: So in order to do that, you have to prioritize

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Speaker 2: what makes the most sense for you and your children,

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Speaker 2: and that comes with having to sacrifice sometimes. But I

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Speaker 2: would never say that, for example, with me and my children,

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Speaker 2: I would never say like or throw it in their face,

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Speaker 2: like I've sacrificed all of this to give you the

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Speaker 2: life that you've had. No, I wanted to give you

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Speaker 2: this life. So because I wanted to give you this

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Speaker 2: life and provide you with opportunities, which is exactly what

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Speaker 2: my mom and dad did. I think that what's naturally

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Speaker 2: owed to a parent is for you to do your

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Speaker 2: absolute best, and that was most important to me.

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Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. Now how did that

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Speaker 1: shape how you parent Jackson, your oldest son, because he's

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Speaker 1: now the big brother.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's amazing to see how the first born,

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Speaker 2: and this is even just examining, for lack of a

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Speaker 2: better word, first borns, even with a couple of my

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Speaker 2: friends or like even Deval who's a first born, there's

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Speaker 2: like an innate sense of nurturing, leadership, responsibility that comes

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Speaker 2: with the oldest. But I do give Jackson a lot

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Speaker 2: of empathy because I understand the weight and the pressure

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Speaker 2: that's put on you as the oldest. But he's just

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Speaker 2: like naturally just a nurturer. He's a huge EmPATH. I mean,

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Speaker 2: every single grade that he's been in, every teacher that

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Speaker 2: he's encountered, he's won countless awards for just you know,

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Speaker 2: leadership and just being a good person, being a good human,

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Speaker 2: and at the root of it, being the oldest. I

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Speaker 2: think that that's what's necessary because the oldest sets the

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Speaker 2: tone for the rest of the kids, you know. So

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Speaker 2: when Jackson says we're going right, you best believe Cairo,

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Speaker 2: Kas and Kolder are going right. They don't know where

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Speaker 2: they're going, but we doing it together, you know what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying. That like a little old past. So it's

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Speaker 2: beautiful to see that. And so many times Deval and

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Speaker 2: I pulled Jackson aside because he's five years older than Cairo,

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Speaker 2: so it was Deval, Jackson and I for a long

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Speaker 2: time together. Yeah, and we reminisced about like being back

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Speaker 2: in Brooklyn because he's one of the few that remembers

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Speaker 2: the apartment and the struggle and the day in and

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Speaker 2: out and the process and the hustle and the back

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Speaker 2: and forth and the way we had to lean on

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Speaker 2: Jackson for It's okay. There were times when things were

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Speaker 2: really hard and all and I at each other. We

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Speaker 2: had each other, and then we had Jackson, who was

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Speaker 2: the honeymoon baby that came along. Because it's like Okay,

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Speaker 2: we've been together for eight years. We're married now, like

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Speaker 2: let's have a baby. Yeah, But we think about from

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Speaker 2: time to time how much it was just the three

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Speaker 2: of us and that's all we had. And I'll never

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Speaker 2: forget when Devalon Jackson they started auditioning. We started auditioning

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Speaker 2: again because if I was like, okay, i had the

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Speaker 2: gym as my source of income, I'm working as a

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Speaker 2: makeup artist. And we started doing auditions together for family

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Speaker 2: commercial stuff, trying to get our foot into the industry.

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Speaker 2: And Deval and Jackson booked the Cheerios commercial. It was

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Speaker 2: the cutest things not have our Cheerios. I need to

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Speaker 2: run that back. It was a really good commercial. So

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Speaker 2: Jackson was about four at the time and he and

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Speaker 2: Deval had this Cheerios commercial that was running, and financially

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Speaker 2: we were like struggling, you know, we're just we weren't poor,

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Speaker 2: but we were broke. You know. We were making this

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Speaker 2: meet paycheck to paycheck and things like that, and Jackson's

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Speaker 2: checks were coming in for those Cheerios commercials, and we

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Speaker 2: had to use some of that money just to like

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Speaker 2: get through in times. You know, we're having rents and

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Speaker 2: then you have the gym and you have all these

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Speaker 2: things that you're juggling. And I said to Jackson, I'm like, man,

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Speaker 2: we have no idea how much he helps just by

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Speaker 2: being himself. You know, he wait in there and he

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Speaker 2: booked the audition, and I was just like, wow, he

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Speaker 2: has no idea how much he saved us. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: in those moments when it was just really difficult, and

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Speaker 2: at times when our marriage was struggling, and it was

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Speaker 2: easy to say within that first five years, let's just

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Speaker 2: throw in the towel, but the common goal was to

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Speaker 2: make sure that we were good parents first and foremost,

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Speaker 2: especially in that time because I know now we've evolved

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Speaker 2: into the kids ain't first, But in that moment and

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Speaker 2: in that season where we were in with Jackson, like

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Speaker 2: him being the first and being the oldest, because like

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Speaker 2: we have a camaraderie, yeah, because we know what it's

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Speaker 2: like to have the pressure to succeed, to set the tone.

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Speaker 2: So many times my brother and sister be like, man,

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Speaker 2: you have a hell of a shoe to fill, you know.

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Speaker 2: But I always encourage them and let them know the

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Speaker 2: same way I encourage Jackson to do with his brothers is,

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Speaker 2: you know, everyone has their own path and their own

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Speaker 2: journey and it's not to be compared, but it's to

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Speaker 2: be supported in whatever phase of life that looks like

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Speaker 2: for them to help them get through that struggle. So, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that was you ask me about Jackson. I didn't expect

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Speaker 2: to do that to cry, but he's just such a

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Speaker 2: freaking good kid.

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Speaker 1: He's such a good kids, a light. All your kids

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Speaker 1: are like, they're the sweetest.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just the moments when he comes and he

301
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Speaker 2: just checks in on me, just you know, just checking

302
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Speaker 2: on you. Happen if I'm in the house and the

303
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Speaker 2: well by one come look for me. But you know,

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Speaker 2: Jackson makes it a point to make sure that we're okay,

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Speaker 2: and he can always tell you when something's a little

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Speaker 2: bit off or if devows a little bit under pressure

307
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Speaker 2: or stressed about something, he can just tell. He just

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Speaker 2: has a way of just healing in that moment. And

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Speaker 2: I love him so much for that.

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Speaker 1: Shout out, Jackson.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I love you, love you jack.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my goodness, Okay.

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Speaker 2: I know I'm like I thought we were just gonna

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Speaker 2: be but it's all good. Just took it, tak it.

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Speaker 2: It's the couch and that has to be. It's a

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Speaker 2: safe space and I love that for you and whoever

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Speaker 2: sits here. It's a space to open up.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely absolutely. I want to talk about young Kadeen, seven

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Speaker 1: year old, ten year old, twelve year old Kadeen. What

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Speaker 1: did she dream about at that age?

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Speaker 2: The one thing I always know that was consistent with seven, ten, twelve, fifteen,

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Speaker 2: I know I always wanted to be a wife and mom.

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Speaker 2: I always wanted to have a family. That was like

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Speaker 2: the first thing, first priority for me. I knew that

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Speaker 2: I just didn't want to just be alone or just

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Speaker 2: be a career woman solely. I wanted to make sure

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Speaker 2: that I had a family. But I also dreamed about

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Speaker 2: being on stage and performing and being in front of

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Speaker 2: the camera. And you know, that was something that I

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Speaker 2: always saw. And I remember watching Miss America, Miss USA

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Speaker 2: on TV with my mom and I saw the girls

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Speaker 2: on stage in these beautiful dresses and they spoke so well,

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Speaker 2: and I'm just like wow, like that's something I want

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Speaker 2: to do. So when I was ten years old, this

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Speaker 2: pageant pamphlet came because you're a pageant girl too.

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Speaker 1: There's another one. Our connections, Our.

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Speaker 2: Connections, Yeah yeah, yes, so a pants that came in

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Speaker 2: the mail for like the Miss New York American co

339
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,040
Speaker 2: Ed pageant, and I was like, Mom, I think I

340
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,120
Speaker 2: want to like do this. My mom was just like, oh,

341
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Speaker 2: this is like this America we watch on TV and stuff.

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Speaker 2: So she's like, all right, this sounds good because you know,

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Speaker 2: not all pagetes are created equal, and at that age,

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Speaker 2: some of them you had to like have all the

345
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 2: glitz and the glands and make it the girls look

346
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 2: older than they were. And my mom wasn't about that life.

347
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 2: But this particular pageant system, they they really wanted a

348
00:17:56,040 --> 00:18:00,159
Speaker 2: girl who was age appropriate. Their focus was on on

349
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 2: public speaking skills, interview skills, you know, being on stage

350
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 2: and stage presence and how to carry yourself and etiquette.

351
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Speaker 2: So my mom was like, I think this might be

352
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 2: a good thing for you because we're back in the

353
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 2: day people used to do like etiquette classes and stuff

354
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Speaker 2: like that, or you had cotillions and things like that.

355
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Speaker 1: We had what was called the Rites of Passage we

356
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Speaker 1: had to go through.

357
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,359
Speaker 2: GOTCHAA, so something very similar. So once I hit the

358
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Speaker 2: stage at ten years old, I was like, oh, yeah,

359
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,880
Speaker 2: this is where I want to be. But I did

360
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 2: have this internal struggle as I hit my teens and

361
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 2: in high school because time came for college and I

362
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 2: had to apply for college, and you're thinking about what

363
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,840
Speaker 2: you want to do with the rest of your life.

364
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,920
Speaker 2: I come from a family of nurses, doctors, lab technicians,

365
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 2: ultrasound texts, like everyone is in some sort of medical

366
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,639
Speaker 2: feel situation, and I felt the pressure to just kind

367
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,679
Speaker 2: of continue that because you're also kind of hearing from

368
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Speaker 2: your West Indian family that the only way you're going

369
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,920
Speaker 2: to make money is if you're a doctor, a lawyer,

370
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,239
Speaker 2: an engineer, like those are like the three things that

371
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 2: you can do in order to be successful. But one

372
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 2: thing my parents never hampered was my ability to dream

373
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Speaker 2: and to do more and to be bigger. My mother especially,

374
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,440
Speaker 2: and what amazes me about her. I don't feel like

375
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 2: I give her enough credit sometimes because she's coming from

376
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:26,160
Speaker 2: an environment where like she literally knew nothing, you know,

377
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 2: the country in Jamaica. She's from claren and Jamaica in

378
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 2: the country, like she couldn't see past her doorstep, yes, yes,

379
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 2: which most people can. They can't see past their immediate environment.

380
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 2: So when she came up here and she saw all

381
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 2: of the opportunities, she was like, my daughter can do anything, anything,

382
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 2: and when you have at least one parent, my father's

383
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,399
Speaker 2: a little skeptical. He was just like, I don't know,

384
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 2: I think that nurse money looking real good. You know,

385
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,199
Speaker 2: I'm saying it's given, you need to go to nursing school.

386
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 2: But my mother especially really just tapped into all those

387
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 2: extracurriculars and made sure that I was well rounded, so

388
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,200
Speaker 2: that regardless of what I decided to do, she was

389
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:08,360
Speaker 2: setting me up for success. Shout out to me, She's

390
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,879
Speaker 2: a gem, She's a jet is. So yeah, that was

391
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,479
Speaker 2: my dilemma when I hit that teenage age because I

392
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 2: was going into high school, well leaving high school into college.

393
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 2: And I remember my mom being upset because I took

394
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 2: a year to go to a local college, Brooklyn College,

395
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 2: because I was so undecided about what I wanted to do.

396
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: I was having this internal tug of warts like nursing school, communications,

397
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 2: nursing schools. It's a huge difference. There's no overlapping courses,

398
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 2: the credits don't transfer like this was like it. But me,

399
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 2: thinking about not wanting to waste money and time, I said,

400
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 2: you know what, let me do some liberal arts courses

401
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 2: at Brooklyn College for a year. Make sure that my

402
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 2: GPA is sky high, so that way I can then

403
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 2: set myself up to transfer into either a nursing program

404
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 2: or communication.

405
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 1: Wow, And it was communication what made like, what made

406
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 1: you make that final choice for you?

407
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 2: I just felt like my heart was not in the

408
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 2: nursing medical field. And that's a feel that requires people

409
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 2: to wholeheartedly want to be in that field. That's heart work,

410
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:26,160
Speaker 2: literally hard work. You need to want to care for others,

411
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 2: and that just wasn't my thing. Not that I don't

412
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 2: care for others, but that way. And then also just

413
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 2: like blood vomited, it just it just I just don't

414
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 2: have the stomach for it. I just it just did

415
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 2: not resonate with me as something that would make me

416
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 2: happy for the rest of my life. So I'm taking

417
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:49,119
Speaker 2: the unconventional route and I went to do communications, and

418
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 2: I applied to three schools. Boston University had a really

419
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 2: good program, the University of Maryland, and Hofstra. Now, my

420
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 2: mom wanted me to stay closer to home, so of

421
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 2: course Hofsha was her pick, because, like I said, my

422
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,400
Speaker 2: sister's ten years younger at that point, I'm about eighteen,

423
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 2: she's only eight. So she's like, if you go away

424
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,679
Speaker 2: to college far like, you're not going to really be

425
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 2: able to like foster this relationship with your sister, and

426
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: that's important to her at the time, and it was

427
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 2: important to me too as well. So yeah, it boiled

428
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,719
Speaker 2: down to where gave me the most scholarship money and

429
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 2: it happened to be half stra Okay, so it worked

430
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 2: out forty five minutes away from home, so I still

431
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 2: had my space because baby, we standy household, Baby is

432
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 2: very tight. It's very tight. You get swallowed up and there, okay,

433
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 2: swallowed swallowed So and that was just my parents trying

434
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 2: to protect me from the elements and being a parent.

435
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 2: Now I completely understand it, Mom and dad. Sorry for

436
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 2: fighting you back in the day. But like I understand,

437
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 2: I had enough space where I didn't feel stifled, but

438
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 2: it was enough where I was close to home, so

439
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 2: my parents felt the comfort of me being able to

440
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: come home exactly, and that's important.

441
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: That was too chill okay, period, lucky lucky him. I

442
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 1: love it.

443
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's that's where the youth version of Kadeen

444
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 2: was really trying to see past what was in my

445
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 2: immediate right real, yeah.

446
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 1: Exactly, as forty year old Kadeen. What would you tell

447
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:23,640
Speaker 1: younger Kadeen.

448
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 2: Now, the one thing that always comes to mind is

449
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 2: forget and do not worry about what other people think

450
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 2: of you and what you're doing. That was so stifling

451
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 2: for me, Chris. I feel like I would have taken

452
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 2: more chances, I would have gone out on more limbs,

453
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 2: I would have accomplished.

454
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 1: More, And You've accomplished so much. But I know what

455
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: you mean.

456
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: But even just thinking about like twenty something year old Kadeen,

457
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 2: which is now twenty years ago, you know what I'm

458
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: saying is crazy girl not doing the math now because

459
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 2: the math will be math for me half the time

460
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 2: me in my head. But no, really, I just like

461
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 2: that was always impressed upon me to from my family,

462
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 2: like what will people think? And the more I sat

463
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 2: back and looked at it over the years, I'm like,

464
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 2: who are these said people and what are they contributing

465
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 2: to my life and to my story that even grants

466
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 2: them the permission to even have an opinion about what

467
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 2: I'm doing? Right, it's ultimately at the root of it,

468
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 2: it's my happiness and it's my life. And even if

469
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 2: I take that chance and I fail, that's my lesson.

470
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 2: To be learning, and I would have done a lot

471
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 2: more had I not been so concerned about that. And

472
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 2: I'm thankful to Devour because he's like he was always

473
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 2: the complete opposite. He never cared what people thought, and

474
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 2: I would always be the one in the back life

475
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 2: like fall into the couch, like, oh God, here we go.

476
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 2: But then I've also seen how much he was also

477
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 2: able to accomplish earlier on in life, you know, because

478
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 2: he just didn't give a damn.

479
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's real.

480
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 2: He didn't give a damn. As long as you're not

481
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 2: hurting anyone, you're not disrespecting anyone, do whatever it is

482
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: God is telling you to do. You gotta do that,

483
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 2: whatever purpose he's placed in your body, on your heart,

484
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 2: on your soul, do that, yes, because he's the only

485
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 2: one who can tell me what to do how to

486
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 2: do it. He's providing my source of happiness. He's giving

487
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 2: me the ability to provide for my family. So why

488
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 2: am I listening to anybody else?

489
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: Hello?

490
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 2: That is I wish I had somebody telling me that earlier.

491
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 2: And I'm happy and I'm grateful. For example, I have

492
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,640
Speaker 2: the relationship with my sister now, who's ten years my junior,

493
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 2: and the things that I'm learning at forty and through

494
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 2: my thirties and forties, I can tell her at twenty nine.

495
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 1: Hey, sis, yes, you know I will.

496
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:06,880
Speaker 2: Not steer you wrong.

497
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, Yeah.

498
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 2: You're gonna have your own life lessons. However, if I

499
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 2: could just give you a little nugget to think about, yeah,

500
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:19,679
Speaker 2: that can save you some time, yes, and potential heartache, yes,

501
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 2: in the future.

502
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: You know, that is so real, that's so blessed. Yeah. No,

503
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: that's big. That is big. You and Devao met each

504
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 1: other in elementary school. You've known each other since elementary

505
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: sentary school.

506
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 2: It's wild, right, it's wild.

507
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: Started dating in your teens, yes, and you've been together

508
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: ever since. Was there ever a moment that you wish

509
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: that you may have dated more or like, you know,

510
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 1: say had that. Do you ever feel like you missed

511
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 1: any of those moments? You know, for me, like I

512
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: dated in my twenties thirties, she's going going where is

513
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 1: where is he? But as a woman, do you ever

514
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 1: look back like dang, I wish i'd like look back

515
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: at some of your friends, like I wish I had

516
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: like a little dating things, you know, not saying that

517
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 1: you I know you were happy. But do you ever

518
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 1: as a woman, do you ever have those moments.

519
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: Totally in this girl to moment, I feel safe to

520
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 2: say I do have had I had that I should say,

521
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 2: moments where I was just like, it would be cool

522
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 2: to kind of juggle a little bit, you know what

523
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 2: I'm because I got friends. I hear you be juggling

524
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 2: and what this is giving Barnum and Billy circus. You

525
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 2: never soul Sometimes it's a little ghetto. But I was like,

526
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 2: you know, I did have moments where I was just like,

527
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 2: what would it be like to just like date around

528
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 2: and like be wined and dine. But do I feel

529
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 2: like I missed anything per se? No, what I did

530
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 2: miss was the opportunity to just live on my own.

531
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 2: That's one thing that I wish I did do. Yeah,

532
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 2: I went from my and this is one thing my

533
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 2: mother and my mother in law warned me about. You know,

534
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 2: when we don't listen to you know, our senior y'all

535
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 2: want to say, senior y'all ay' oh, you know you

536
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 2: don't want to listen to your parents. They were like,

537
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: you know, you guys should take some time to be individuals,

538
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 2: Like could he get your own place, if I'll get

539
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 2: your own place, and like you guys date and then

540
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 2: you go to each other's houses and whatnot. But to

541
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 2: Deval and I, well, of course him thinking from a

542
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 2: fiscally responsible, you know, standpoints, he was like always thinking

543
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 2: about the dollars and the sense does it make sense?

544
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 2: He's like, why would I get a spy? You get

545
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 2: a spy and then we both have to pay rent?

546
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 2: Like we just pay one rent Like that just makes

547
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: the most sense. Right, But you know that like Carrie Bradshaw,

548
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: Sex and the City, like you got your little all

549
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: white penthouse apartment. You know, everything is cute, you know

550
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 2: walking down street, you know, and every woman in your

551
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: head literally going to work and you're doing your career thing.

552
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 2: Like that's the only thing, the only component that I

553
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 2: feel like, damn, I wish I had, like even if

554
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 2: it was like a year or two, just to like

555
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 2: have my own spot and then just do my thing

556
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 2: into just like coming and going and having my own

557
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 2: personal space because I literally went from parents house to

558
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: the Yeah. But in terms of like juggling guys or

559
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 2: dating other people to see what's out there, I really

560
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 2: don't think I was missing anything because right now like

561
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 2: I talk to you all the time, and ghetto the ghetto,

562
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 2: it's the hood. It's as Jamaicans would say, it's the gaza,

563
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 2: it's the gully. Nobody wants to go there. So yeah,

564
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I'm missing anything. But the beauty

565
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 2: in Devo is that over the years, because we always

566
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 2: get the question too, like you guys have been together

567
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 2: for twenty two years, like how do you keep it going?

568
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 2: Beauty in dating and being with DeVos that I feel

569
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 2: like I'm constantly dating a different version of the same

570
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 2: person and it just keeps getting better. It just keeps

571
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 2: getting better, like Devalid eighteen. Of course, wasn't Devlod twenty

572
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 2: one or twenty five or thirty or you know. So

573
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 2: we're deliberate about continuing to physically date, meaning date nights

574
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 2: and things like that. But as we evolve and as

575
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 2: we grow as individuals and a couple together, I think

576
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 2: giving each other the space, grace and the latitude to

577
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: change makes me feel like, damn, I'm getting like a

578
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 2: new version of this man, like I never know what

579
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: to expect, you know. So the dating within our marriage,

580
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 2: I think is what makes me feel like damn, I

581
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 2: really am not missing much.

582
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: You're not. I can tell you that now. I have

583
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: a lot of girl, I just want to see you. No,

584
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 1: you don't, I'm telling you right now.

585
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 2: I'm living vicariously through all of y'all's escacades. Okay, I

586
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 2: got a friend or two who's like newly divorced or

587
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 2: like back on the scene, or you know, younger friends

588
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 2: and stuff who are dating, and I'm just like, oh,

589
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 2: I'm here for the story and the group chat. Yeah,

590
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: group chats.

591
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: Being listen, the stories are It's.

592
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 2: Like a rollercoaster. It's like we're laughing one minute and.

593
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: We're all crying together and angry.

594
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 2: So that's why we have each other. That's what the

595
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 2: group chats are for.

596
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 1: That's right, that is what the group chats are for. Seriously,

597
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: the world knows your family from social media initially, and

598
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: you guys, share so much of your life with the world,

599
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 1: and you spoke about learning to not care about what

600
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: other people think. Sometimes social media and exposing a lot

601
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: can also bring a lot of mental health issues. You know,

602
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: and work on your self esteem and also anxiety and

603
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: different things like that that people don't think about when

604
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 1: you talk about social media. How have you worked around that.

605
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: Has there ever been instances where you were like, oh

606
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: my gosh, like this is a lot, Like I need

607
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: to unplug and how do you balance all that? Girl?

608
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 2: It's a daily struggle. For me. It's a daily struggle

609
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 2: because one minute I'm just like, woo, let's do it,

610
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 2: and the other day I'm just like I want to

611
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: crawl into a hole and disappear. You know, it's just

612
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 2: gonna disappear. There was a turning point for me though,

613
00:31:49,640 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 2: when it came to just social media. Chrystals, couch go. Okay.

614
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,479
Speaker 2: So I was not signed up for social media initially

615
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 2: when Deval presented it to me. I've said that to

616
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 2: many people before because I just, again was grown up

617
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 2: in a household where you just don't tell your business.

618
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 2: You don't tell your business, and if you have an issue,

619
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 2: it's swept under the rug to never be to never

620
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 2: see the light of days. Yeah. Yeah, So that's that's

621
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 2: how I'm used to functioning. So when he mentioned like, oh,

622
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 2: like there's this social media thing, Instagram was just kind

623
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: of starting to pop. You know, you have three hundred followers.

624
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, that's cute, and then three hundred becomes

625
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: three thousand and it's like, oh, that's cute. I wasn't

626
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 2: initially bought onto it, but he had a vision for

627
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 2: us being in the entertainment industry. He's like, you know,

628
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 2: booking these auditions the traditional route just is never guaranteed.

629
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 2: Let's try something different, you know. So him being the

630
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 2: creative and me being the talent, I'm like, sure, let's

631
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 2: try it. So we go on social media and we

632
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 2: start putting up clips about us being millennial parents, you know,

633
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 2: kids and being married and all that good stuff, trucking

634
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 2: through Brooklyn with all these kids. And early on I

635
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: used to be in the comments a lot because that's

636
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: just what you do. You post something and you want

637
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 2: to see what people think about it, So you know,

638
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 2: what should I post more of this? Should I post less?

639
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 2: You know, kind of getting a pulse on like how

640
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 2: it's being received, right, And for a while, you know

641
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 2: I was doing that. And you know, when you share,

642
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 2: you have to understand too that it's subjective. People are

643
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 2: going to feel what they want to feel about it,

644
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 2: and you have to deal with that if you know

645
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 2: they're going to be sharing. If not, just don't share.

646
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 2: If you don't want to have to open yourself up

647
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 2: to that. And I think the big turning point for

648
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 2: me when it comes to caring what other people think

649
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 2: along with social media, was in September of twenty twenty.

650
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 2: We were in the pandemic and social media was really

651
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 2: where people were staying connected at this point because everything

652
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 2: was shut down and everyone's just sharing what their experience

653
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 2: looks like during you know, the whole Panini going on,

654
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 2: and I Devalo I were actively trying to get pregnant

655
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 2: with our fourth child because we had Jackson chyron Katz

656
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 2: and we're trying something different because I know God has

657
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 2: the final say, in the final answer, and I wholeheartedly

658
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 2: believe whoever He places in my care as my child

659
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 2: is my child, and I don't question it. So if

660
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 2: it's four boys, four girls, two boys, two girls, I

661
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 2: was welcoming that. However, you hear these things about the

662
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 2: scientific approach to how you can try to sway your chance, yeah,

663
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 2: you know, so I was just like, all right, it's

664
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 2: the fourth one. We knew we wanted at least four children,

665
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 2: So I'm just like, let's just see how this goes you.

666
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 2: Let's see there's any truth in this scientific method, right,

667
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 2: So for fun I ended up getting this book called

668
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 2: the Baby Dust Method, and the Baby Dust Method pretty

669
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 2: much tells a really small book, short read, but it

670
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 2: comes along with these ovulation testers. So what you do is,

671
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: when you know that you're actively trying to get pregnant,

672
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: you test your ovulation after your period, like every day

673
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 2: you're dipping the stick, dipping the sick, and then once

674
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 2: you see that you're ovulating, you count a certain number

675
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 2: of days into your ovulation and you have sex before

676
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 2: that because once you're ovulating, whatever sperm is inside will

677
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 2: then fertilize the egg. And the theory is that the

678
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 2: boy's sperm smomes faster than the girls swarm sperm, So

679
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 2: if you have sex preovulation, the boys will race and

680
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 2: die off, but the girls kind of hang around and

681
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, when is the party getting started? You know,

682
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: when is the egg going to drop? Right, So we

683
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 2: were just see how it goes, So we tried. It

684
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 2: was July we tried. The thing is if you have

685
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 2: sex too far before your ovulation, then you probably just

686
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 2: won't get pregnant at all, because by the time you ovulate,

687
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: there's nothing left. Right, So July nothing happened, didn't get

688
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 2: pregnant August. Nothing didn't get pregnant. September. I'll never forget.

689
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 2: It was Kiro's birthday and I remember telling de Bell,

690
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 2: we have to have sex like today, Like I don't

691
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 2: care if I'm not in the mood or you're not

692
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 2: in the mood, like today is the day that we

693
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 2: need to do it. Because I tracked everything and the

694
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 2: thing says that this is when it's supposed to be.

695
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,479
Speaker 2: So with Cairol's birthday party, oh, I'm so tired after

696
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 2: the party, but I was like, stay there, I got this.

697
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 2: So I literally did my thing and rolled over. I

698
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 2: put the pillow under my hips and I'm like, ah,

699
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 2: I'm good.

700
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 1: He's just like, yeah, good, I'm gonna leave cool.

701
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 2: Like under my pillow for like so I'm like, okay, good.

702
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 2: So I'm like I'm sure that God in there. Good right?

703
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 2: And then I found out now because now at this point,

704
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, am I going to get pregnant? So

705
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 2: I'm testing again now my urine for pregnancy. And I

706
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 2: had just shot like a campaign or something for Toyota.

707
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 2: So Janelle, my hair stylist, was at the house, so

708
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 2: I took the stick to her and I was like,

709
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 2: does that look do you see a little faint line there?

710
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 2: And she's like we're like side, We're like the right,

711
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 2: She's like this, she's putting on her glasses. I was like,

712
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 2: she's like, I think I see something.

713
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

714
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 2: So I said, shut up. I think it kind of worked.

715
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 2: So I was like, I told her about the whole

716
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 2: method and stuff, and I said I think this is

717
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: my girl and she was like what. So we did

718
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 2: the whole ovulation tester. I did find out a couple

719
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,439
Speaker 2: of days later, a solid pregnancy you know line because

720
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 2: as you the days progressed the line of this dark.

721
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: Dork okay, so yeah, I was like it looked like it.

722
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 2: But by like day five, I definitely was pregnant. I

723
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 2: told the val and he.

724
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: Was like, yo, is this our girl?

725
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: And I was like, I feel like it is, like

726
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 2: I feel like it is if we did it the

727
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 2: right way, it should be. So we were super excited

728
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 2: about this pregnancy, but of course we didn't tell anyone.

729
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: It was super early on and everything, so we just

730
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 2: let it rock fast forward to October. Never forget the date.

731
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: It was October eighteenth. There were day Yeah, I know,

732
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 2: it's crazy. October eighteen. That's why she didn't forget the

733
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 2: date that's October eighteen, did I had to go to film.

734
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 2: I think it was filming Bigger down here in Atlanta.

735
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 2: And a couple of days prior, there was a clip

736
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 2: that went viral on social media from our podcast, and

737
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 2: it was an episode we did about monogamy, and the

738
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 2: clip that went viral was pretty much Deval feeling like

739
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 2: I was giving him an ultimatum when it came time

740
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 2: to get married, and there was the back and forth

741
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: that we had in it. Of course, no one listens

742
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,240
Speaker 2: to the entire hour long episode. You take the thirty

743
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 2: second or forty five second clip and run with it,

744
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 2: so everyone's piling on them. They were literally like canceling

745
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 2: me in Deval and we knew this couple was too

746
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 2: good to be true. And Kadeen is this is that

747
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 2: and the third and Deval is this is that and

748
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 2: the third? And I was just like WHOA, Like I

749
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 2: didn't expect for it to erupt the way that it did.

750
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 2: So I'm again, Deval's not home. He went to film,

751
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 2: so I'm just like in the comments, yeah right, and

752
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 2: I'm just like damn, like I didn't think that people

753
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 2: would really take it this way, like did people watch

754
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 2: the whole episode or do they just really comment on

755
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 2: this one clip?

756
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 3: Right?

757
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 2: And there are people who sided with de Val in

758
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 2: that moment, there were people who sided with me. But

759
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 2: either way, I was starting to get like lost in

760
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: the comments.

761
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's easy to do that, and it's.

762
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 2: So easy to do that, you know, but it's also

763
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,399
Speaker 2: easy for you to tell yourself like I don't feel

764
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 2: no kind of way about this this wait, yeah, like

765
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 2: you're trying to brush it off, but then it's like

766
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 2: deep down inside, it's still bothering you, right, I know

767
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 2: what you mean. So I literally remember feeling when I

768
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 2: was on the phone with de Val. He was like,

769
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 2: you know, don't stay out in the comments. Stop, like

770
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 2: don't worry about it, Like you know how new cycles are,

771
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:40,959
Speaker 2: is it seventy two hours? And then people will forget

772
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 2: about it. You got three days of this, Like, but

773
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 2: I remember reading things sometimes and then literally feeling like

774
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: my stomach like just cramping, like you know, you get

775
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 2: that like pitt in your stomach, like oh my god,

776
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 2: Like what's happening? Like did we do the wrong thing?

777
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,279
Speaker 2: Like should we correct this? Do we have to make

778
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:57,760
Speaker 2: a statement like what happens when this all happens? Right?

779
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

780
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 2: And I remember starting to bleed, And with my three

781
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: previous pregnancies, I never had any bleeding. It's like the

782
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,919
Speaker 2: minute I was pregnant, that was. I didn't see blood

783
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 2: until the baby was born. But this particular time, I

784
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 2: started to see spotting. So Deval was like, well, you know,

785
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 2: it's still early on. Maybe you know it's going to

786
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 2: be a fourth child. Things gonna be different in every pregnancy.

787
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 2: He's like, this was probably the girl, so you know

788
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 2: it's different. And he was in Atlanta. I was having

789
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 2: more and more cramping, more and more bleeding, and it

790
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,240
Speaker 2: was coming like sharp cramping. So it felt very different

791
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 2: than my previous pregnancies. So I didn't tell my mom

792
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 2: I was pregnant yet, even she was staying with us

793
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 2: some time. Didn't even tell her I was pregnant. And

794
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 2: I said, he said, you know, what, do you want

795
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,720
Speaker 2: to go to the er and see if everything's okay?

796
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 2: So said, you know, let me do that just for

797
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 2: peace of mind. So I drove myself to the er

798
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 2: and doctor checked everything. They said, viable pregnancy, heartbeat, everything,

799
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 2: did a sonogram, they were like, maybe you just need

800
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 2: to do a little better. Rest for a couple of

801
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 2: days and just decompressed the bit. So I said, all right,

802
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,839
Speaker 2: I'll do that. So that was around noon. I went

803
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 2: to the doctor or the er got back home around

804
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: three and I was in bed. I had an integration

805
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 2: to do for I had to make like pizza with

806
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,919
Speaker 2: the kids or something that I had to forget who

807
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 2: the brand was, but I had to make pizza with

808
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 2: them and film it and all that, and I just

809
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 2: didn't have the strength. I just felt like I just

810
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 2: was really out of it, and I will never forget.

811
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 2: I'm laying in the bed and I felt like a

812
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 2: really like a hard, like intense cram and I was

813
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 2: like shit. So I got up and I went to

814
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 2: the bathroom and I called it out on face time

815
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 2: and I put him on the floor and I'm in

816
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 2: front of the toilet and literally I pulled my underwear

817
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 2: down and it was like waterfall.

818
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

819
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,919
Speaker 2: So at that point I was like, oh my god,

820
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 2: I think I'm having a miscarriage. So he's on the

821
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 2: phone like I couldn't believe what he was seeing. At

822
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 2: that point, I just like sat on the toilet and

823
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 2: I remember passing passing the baby, and you know, he's

824
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 2: on the phone like what do you need? Like he's

825
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 2: not there, right, I'm here. And then Cairo's knocking on

826
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 2: the door and he's just like, mom are you gonna

827
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,720
Speaker 2: come make pizza with us? And I'm like a mess

828
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 2: in the bathroom and I'm like, yeah, Buddie, I'm coming.

829
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 2: Mommy's just using the bathroom really great, you know, and

830
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:35,280
Speaker 2: there's like blood everywhere, and so that was just like, Hey,

831
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come home. And I was like, you're not

832
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 2: coming home because you just booked this role on this

833
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,439
Speaker 2: show and this is what we've been working for. You're

834
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 2: not coming home. And I'm gonna stay here and I'm

835
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 2: gonna be fine. I'm gonna tell my mom what just

836
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 2: happened and we're gonna be fine. So Kyro and Kazure

837
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 2: at the door, and I'm like, guys, go downstairs with

838
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 2: Jackson and just take everything out and mommy will be downstairs.

839
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 2: Is so Deval's on the phone with me. Of course

840
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 2: I'm a mess. I scrambled to clean everything up. I

841
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 2: jump in the shower really quickly and went downstairs and

842
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 2: made pizza. The kids kidding me, Yeah, went downstairs and

843
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 2: made pizza with the kids and didn't even have time

844
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 2: to process everything. But of course called DeValve back when

845
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,919
Speaker 2: everything was done, and he was also like a mess

846
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 2: on the phone, and I was too, and I didn't

847
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 2: have him, of course, where each other's like comfort. And

848
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 2: I ended up telling my mom what happened, and of

849
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 2: course she helped as best as she could, but then

850
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 2: she had a flight to leave out the next morning

851
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,360
Speaker 2: to go to New York. So I was kind of

852
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 2: just left to like pick up the pieces. So Deval

853
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 2: said to me, just come here, Yeah, just come to Georgia.

854
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:52,839
Speaker 2: I have a hotel room. You guys can just stay

855
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 2: with me. The kids were virtual learning anyway, and he

856
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 2: said yeah, and he said, just book a flight in

857
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:01,400
Speaker 2: another day or two to come, and I said, okay,

858
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 2: I'll figure something out. So at the time, we were

859
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 2: house hunting and that night, well that evening, he had

860
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 2: sent four big bouquets of roses. There were four red,

861
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 2: three red, and one white, all on the doorstep that night,

862
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 2: which was really sweet, nice little gesture that he sent.

863
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 2: So the white was of course for the baby that

864
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 2: we lost. And that night we were on Zillow, and

865
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 2: he's like, let's just try to take our minds office

866
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 2: for a little bit. Let's just look at some houses.

867
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 2: So we're looking at houses, and that's actually came across

868
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 2: the house we live in now when I was looking

869
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 2: for the Zillo. But I said, baby, that's not in

870
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: our budget. That price for you? How does how did

871
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 2: this How did this house get through the filter? I said,

872
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:43,879
Speaker 2: because this price point wasn't word the filter. But God

873
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 2: said okay, So so God said, yeah, I want you

874
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 2: to see this house. So and we had looked at

875
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 2: houses prior in July, but nothing really stuck. So I

876
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 2: came down to Atlanta with the three boys. No, my

877
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 2: mom took Kas to New York, so I came with

878
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 2: Cairo and Jackson. And while I'm down there, of course,

879
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 2: it was nice to just kind of lay with DeValve

880
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 2: for a little bit and just kind of process everything

881
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 2: and talk that through. And my realtor Arian happened to

882
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 2: reach out and she's like, hey, girl, you know, just

883
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 2: checking touching basis. I'm like, it's crazy that you hit

884
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 2: me up because I'm actually in Atlanta, and she's just like,

885
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 2: you want to go look at some houses and I'm

886
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 2: just like, that's the last thing I want to do

887
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 2: is to look at no houses and about like, oh

888
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 2: you should go look like go and just like it

889
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: out a little bit, take your mind off things. I'm like,

890
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 2: you know what, all right? So I went to look

891
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 2: at that house, and I'm like, something about this house

892
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 2: is just like I don't know how it ended up

893
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 2: in my search, but I need to go see it.

894
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,720
Speaker 2: I need to be in an environment to manifest whatever

895
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 2: it is we want. Like I want to eventually have

896
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 2: a house like this one day. So let me just

897
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 2: go see what it feels.

898
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 1: Like step foot on that ground.

899
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 2: That's it. So I went to see the house, fell

900
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,759
Speaker 2: in love with it. I fell in love with the house.

901
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 2: That's not in my budget, right. We had some tax

902
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: things going on too. We're trying to square some things away.

903
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 2: So our financial advisor said, I don't know if now

904
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 2: it's the right time, guys, but God said, So Deval

905
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 2: comes to look at the house. I'm in the house.

906
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 2: Deval calls me. He's like, babe, guess what I rapped early?

907
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 2: He wasn't supposed to wrap till the night time. It

908
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 2: was at thirty. He said, I rapped I said, where are

909
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 2: you in relation to this address? Right? Put it in?

910
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 2: Put it in right now. You have to come see

911
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 2: this sla, I said, I said, you just need to

912
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:30,720
Speaker 2: come stand in this space.

913
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

914
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 2: So he came, he looked at the house, he saw me.

915
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 2: We eventually met in the backyard because he was walking

916
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 2: through with the realtor and we locked eyes, and I

917
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: mean we were both like, oh my god, like we

918
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 2: need something like this, you know. And in that moment,

919
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 2: I was just using it as an opportunity to say, okay, okay, okay, God,

920
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:51,920
Speaker 2: I see what's out there. I see how we have

921
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 2: to work and how we have to move to get

922
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 2: something like this. So the realtor who was selling the house,

923
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 2: she left. We stayed back with realtor Arion. We were

924
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 2: just chatting about, you know, things and real real estate stuff,

925
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 2: and she forgot she locked her keys in her car.

926
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 2: Oh no, she locked her keys in her car. So

927
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,439
Speaker 2: we called Triple A to come and get her keys

928
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,399
Speaker 2: out of her car. And we're just sitting in our car.

929
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 2: In the meantime, we get a call from our financial

930
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 2: advisor while we're in the car with Arian and we're like, oh,

931
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 2: it's funny. You call because we looked at this house.

932
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 2: We've just been in love with child. We can't afford it, Like,

933
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 2: I don't know what we're gonna do. So Deval steps

934
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 2: out of the car to talk to Sean, who's our

935
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 2: financial advisor is also his godbrother, and Deval's walking through

936
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 2: the driveway and he's like, and I see him doing

937
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 2: like this. He's like, okay, you know yes. So Deval

938
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,760
Speaker 2: comes back and he's like, you never guess what just happened.

939
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 2: I said what he said, we got preapproved for X

940
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 2: amount of dollars. Wow, we can afford this house.

941
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, as he's standing.

942
00:47:54,320 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 2: On the driveway. So I say that to say after

943
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: telling the story, yeah, you cannot. Sharing for me is

944
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a responsibility that I have because

945
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 2: so many times sharing allows people to understand that they're

946
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 2: not alone in certain circumstances. Because I know how lonely

947
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 2: I felt over the years dealing with things that I

948
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 2: thought was only me. I felt like I was the anomaly. God,

949
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 2: Why am me? Why am I having to go through this?

950
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 2: But by sharing, you say, wow, like I'm not the

951
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:33,840
Speaker 2: only one who's going through this. This is just a

952
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 2: part of life, So having the courage to share and

953
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 2: then having people then just be so negative and mean

954
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 2: and just nasty, and then it affecting your life physically

955
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 2: where you lose a baby in the process. And I

956
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 2: didn't think about it at the time, but Deval was

957
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 2: so resentful because it was like it was because of

958
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 2: what happened on social media. I know that's why you

959
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 2: lost that baby. You were in those comments. People were

960
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 2: like doubling down, people were being mean, like I know

961
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 2: how that affected you, and I didn't see it in

962
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 2: that moment. So that really deterred me for a while

963
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 2: from wanting to share. But it also made me understand

964
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 2: how important it was to protect my peace, to understand

965
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 2: that if I do here share something, it can be

966
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 2: possibly misconstrued in some kind of way and you have

967
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 2: to deal with that backlash. Or you could just completely

968
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 2: tune all of the noise out and say, I'm not

969
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 2: even going to the comments, I'm not even going to look.

970
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 2: I'm going to take my break from my own mental

971
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 2: health in this space, in this moment, because that's what

972
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 2: I need because it's not going to happen to me again.

973
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 2: So I implore people before you start to make the

974
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 2: negative comments about whatever it is. People try to pin

975
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: us against each other all the time because they want

976
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 2: so badly for me and Crystal to hate each other

977
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:53,319
Speaker 2: for what. It's never gonna happen, Like it just the

978
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 2: negativity that the breeding ground for negativity that social media

979
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:01,720
Speaker 2: has become, or that it is really can impact someone's

980
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 2: real life.

981
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,720
Speaker 1: No, it really can if we allow it, If.

982
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 2: We allow it to. That's that's the key part. Social

983
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 2: media is not a real place, y'all. It's not. People

984
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,800
Speaker 2: have lives and have worlds outside of this. Your birthday

985
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 2: passed in October eighteenth. Never forget your birthday. I was

986
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:21,720
Speaker 2: with you for your birthday on a school night, Okay,

987
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 2: on a school night. We were out having a grand

988
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 2: old time. I was with you and some of your

989
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 2: closest girlfriends and we had a beautiful haibachi dinner at

990
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 2: another friend of yours house she hosted for us, and

991
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 2: we had a grand old time. My uncle passed on

992
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 2: October fourth. I wasn't on social media like that. My

993
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 2: uncle passed. He was somebody I was super close to.

994
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 2: So I wasn't posting for nobody, no specifically, you know,

995
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 2: we post social media, But but then people say Kadeen

996
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 2: did not post Crystal for her birthday, so.

997
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 1: Not as beef.

998
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 2: She favor because she not posted for Christmas birthday. And

999
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 2: I imagine if me and Crystal really was like hearing

1000
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 2: what y'all thought it was in the comments, and I

1001
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 2: could be like, damn Crystal, that feels a kind of

1002
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,240
Speaker 2: way like this beef because I didn't post on social media. Meanwhile,

1003
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 2: me and her was hugged up having drinks to eat

1004
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 2: habachi on your actual birthday in real life, because we

1005
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: do real life shit over.

1006
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 1: Here, period, you know what I'm saying, And life real life.

1007
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 2: And life be real life, and our real life is

1008
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 2: so much better than social media. Devo says it all

1009
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 2: the time. You get a sixty second video from me,

1010
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 2: I forget the math because he's always like, that's this

1011
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: how many many minutes in a day. I'm not gonna

1012
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 2: do the math, do the math. But you get literally

1013
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 2: maybe one percent of my life. So when it feels

1014
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 2: like I share so much, am I really sharing that much?

1015
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 1: Right?

1016
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 2: Because the social media persona that you get, yes, it

1017
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 2: is authentic and it's organic to who I am and

1018
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 2: my family, and I think that's why we resonate with

1019
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 2: so many people.

1020
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: Yes, but don't.

1021
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 2: Get it twisted. Real life is a thousand times more

1022
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:58,439
Speaker 2: better than that. Yeah, it's a thousand times and better.

1023
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 2: And that's the stuff that I protect, and that's the

1024
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 2: stuff that I don't share. And that's the stuff that

1025
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,359
Speaker 2: I will not allow to be infultrated by negativity because

1026
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,439
Speaker 2: we keep it positive in switty period, that's what we do.

1027
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 2: So I told that long story to say, you just

1028
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: never know how someone's real life can be impacted by

1029
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 2: just the negativity that's spewed. You think that one little comment, yeah,

1030
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 2: you think that one little comment is not going to

1031
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 2: go far. Maybe they take it and they're run with it.

1032
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 2: They will take it in they're run with it. So

1033
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 2: now I just have learned even more. When I need

1034
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 2: to take my breaks, I take my breaks because I

1035
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 2: all know the same thing too. I take my breaks

1036
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 2: because I feel like they're well deserved and they're needed.

1037
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 2: Because I want to be in real life showing up

1038
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 2: for my family as they need. I need to be

1039
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 2: showing up for myself as I need. There's a whole

1040
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 2: lot of responsibility. My father the other day was like,

1041
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:51,839
Speaker 2: you have so many things in your brain I don't

1042
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 2: know how you do it because I'm doing school applications,

1043
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 2: I'm doing this one. That one's got a school trip,

1044
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 2: this one has that. I got work to do. There's

1045
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:01,759
Speaker 2: so many things in my brain. Have time to entertain negativity.

1046
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 2: I will not allow it. Yeah, I won't allow it.

1047
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't. I can't.

1048
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 1: So, Kadeen, with everything that you have going on, what

1049
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 1: do you do for your sanity? I know you love

1050
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 1: to travel, but what what does Kadeen do to text?

1051
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 1: To carve out some time? This is what this is

1052
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 1: my mean time. What are you doing to keep your

1053
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 1: mental health strong? To keep saying? Because it is a lot.

1054
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 1: You do have a million things going on, and I

1055
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,720
Speaker 1: would love to know how you balance it all because

1056
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:35,000
Speaker 1: I'm struggling over here and it's just me.

1057
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 2: You don't even got a dog, girl, I'm like a dog.

1058
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 2: Before you had like dog, they were like intransit they just.

1059
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 1: Like, Yeah, I was a vessel. Yes, it was a

1060
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 1: vessel to find them a home.

1061
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 2: I love that. I that you were the conduit. Yes

1062
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 2: it did not. Yes, yes, well traveling is huge for me.

1063
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 2: So yes, I do like to decompressed by a way,

1064
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 2: change of environment change of scenery is very big for me.

1065
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:08,879
Speaker 2: Alone time is also very important meditating. You know, I'm

1066
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 2: working on my relationship with God, which is the thing

1067
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 2: that I hadn't done earlier on because I was also

1068
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 2: very confused about it. I grew up Seventh day Adventists

1069
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 2: and there were just so many like no's and like

1070
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 2: it was so rigid, and I didn't know how I

1071
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: could fit within the compound of God's love as a

1072
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:29,680
Speaker 2: Seven day Adventist. So when I kind of said to myself,

1073
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 2: you know what, that's not the only way, then I said, Okay,

1074
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to take my own walk in my own route.

1075
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:38,920
Speaker 2: So I more recently have been finding my own way

1076
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 2: to learn more about my relationship with God. So that's

1077
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 2: bringing me a lot of peace and just a lot

1078
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 2: of downtime with my husband and my kids. Like sometimes

1079
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 2: I just need that because we have so many people

1080
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 2: who are in and out of the house. You know,

1081
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 2: we have the podcast crew that comes to the town,

1082
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 2: and though they're like family, that's still like pe people energy.

1083
00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 2: It's just all.

1084
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: And their family and they know the way around, and

1085
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:02,760
Speaker 1: still you still feel.

1086
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 2: Like absolutely you still has to be right exactly. So

1087
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 2: there's never really like in my downtime time to be

1088
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 2: not devous a social butterfly. He's always just like, come

1089
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:14,320
Speaker 2: on mine, Like I'm going to bed, y'all. Like just literally,

1090
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 2: like two days ago, he told his cousin and his

1091
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 2: wife to come by with their daughter. I'm like, y'all,

1092
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 2: have a good time.

1093
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 1: I'm going down. You know, you'll take your time. I'm

1094
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 1: like that have with my family. They'll come and they

1095
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 1: know I will just disappear in my room. Y'all help yourselves.

1096
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:27,960
Speaker 1: I love y'all.

1097
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not being anti social baby, but I

1098
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 2: just like my four walls right now and I'm going

1099
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,879
Speaker 2: to need that. So that and then this girlfriend's time

1100
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 2: like catching up. You know, there's certain people that I

1101
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,279
Speaker 2: feel like I need to have in my orbit in

1102
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 2: order to stay sane because they either just get me

1103
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 2: or we're going through something similarly, or we can just

1104
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 2: decompress and have a good time, you know. And just

1105
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 2: other self care practices like a good massage every now

1106
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 2: and again, things like that super important to me. So yeah,

1107
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 2: those are a couple of things that I do to

1108
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 2: just stay to re energize the recharge station that I

1109
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 2: need every now and again.

1110
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. So you are you

1111
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 1: just embarked in the forties. Welcome, Thank you.

1112
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 2: I love it. You know how scary forty sounds.

1113
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 1: Girl. So you remember my birthday party? Yes, I didn't

1114
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,240
Speaker 1: put how old I was turning on the invitation because

1115
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,359
Speaker 1: I did not want anybody to know I was forty

1116
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:25,560
Speaker 1: years old. I was like, oh my god. So like

1117
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:27,839
Speaker 1: and you come to a realization like, oh my god,

1118
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:31,399
Speaker 1: I'm like halfway through my life expectancy. There's so many

1119
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 1: more things that I want to accomplish, and I feel like,

1120
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 1: like you said earlier, you just scratching the surface. And

1121
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 1: I felt the same way, and I did not want

1122
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:40,400
Speaker 1: people to know how old it was. And then Tyler

1123
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 1: gets up in the middle of that room thirty years.

1124
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 3: I was like, forty years what I told you how

1125
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 3: I was?

1126
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 1: I was well in that moment, I was like, I

1127
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 1: felt myself kind of coro, like, oh my god, I

1128
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 1: don't want people knowing how old I am because I

1129
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 1: just it may I felt old. And then the next

1130
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:01,799
Speaker 1: day I woke up and I was like, Yo, this

1131
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:04,759
Speaker 1: is a blessing girl. People do not make it this far.

1132
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 1: I've gained so much wisdom and just looking at my

1133
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:10,760
Speaker 1: life and I'm waking up in a penthouse of the hotel,

1134
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 1: like you know, like, yes, this is my life. Yes,

1135
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 1: I was like, God, you are amazing. Yes, and I

1136
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 1: should not be ashamed or embarrassed of how old I am.

1137
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

1138
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 1: But what I want to ask you is did you

1139
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 1: have any type of insecurity about turning forty?

1140
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 2: You know I didn't. I have more of an insecurity

1141
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 2: about thirty for some reason. I don't know what I

1142
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 2: like more than I did too. Yeah, I have more

1143
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:37,000
Speaker 2: than because I'm like, wait, thirty, like now I'm kind

1144
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 2: to be responsible. But then I think about forty.

1145
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 1: Right.

1146
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 2: The way I can equate it is like you're on

1147
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 2: a roller coaster.

1148
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 1: It's like.

1149
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 2: And then you're like you're at that hump right there,

1150
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 2: and then forty is like the beginning of the dance, like,

1151
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 2: don't hands up, child, because I'm going to enjoy the ride.

1152
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: Yes, but I love who I am at forty. Oh

1153
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 1: my gosh, who.

1154
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:03,320
Speaker 2: I am at forty? I am that much more focused.

1155
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 2: I'm that much more deliberate with my interactions. I'm that

1156
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 2: much more intentional about where I'm investing my time and

1157
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 2: my energy there's an unapologetic way. Yeah that comes with forty.

1158
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 2: It is, and I don't know what it is. I

1159
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 2: think I think what made us scare two is also

1160
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 2: thinking about like our prior generations. When you think of forty,

1161
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 2: you thought that they just looked older or carried themselves older.

1162
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 2: But baby, listen, if this is forty and for my

1163
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 2: girls who are like in their twenties and thirties and

1164
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 2: watching like, it gets so much better. It really does,

1165
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 2: because you're so sure of who you are and what

1166
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 2: you want. And I'm thinking about some women who are

1167
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 2: super successful and haven't started to even really build their

1168
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:51,000
Speaker 2: resume till they're in their forty fifties. Yes, because there's

1169
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 2: so much life after that.

1170
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 1: It's so much life after, there's so much.

1171
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 2: So, Yeah, I'm excited for the forties. I'm actually happy

1172
00:58:57,880 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 2: to be here. I didn't I thought I was going

1173
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 2: to be a little bit more like, oh my god,

1174
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 2: I cant believe I'm forty, but feeling like I'm in

1175
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 2: the best shape of my life in the gym.

1176
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 1: Hey look good you show for New York Fast and

1177
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 1: Weeks Act.

1178
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 2: That was a challenge, baby, Thank you, thank you, thanks

1179
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 2: so good. That was like a personal thing for me

1180
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 2: to say, can I do it? Because with Jackson and

1181
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:23,640
Speaker 2: I was in my twenties, I got back after him,

1182
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 2: Kyro and Kaz came back to back, so it took

1183
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 2: me a little longer to get back after them. And

1184
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 2: then with Coda, I was like, yeah, I'm pushing eight.

1185
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, is this really gonna you know? And it

1186
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 2: took a little bit longer for me, but I think

1187
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 2: I was that much more committed. I also have been

1188
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 2: making a conscious effort to be aware of what I'm

1189
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 2: putting in my body. And after seeing a holistic doctor

1190
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 2: and getting a blood work panel done, she told me

1191
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,440
Speaker 2: about so many things that I ingest on a day

1192
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 2: to day basis, like regularly that caused inflammation, but not

1193
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 2: like in the hives form, which I told you I

1194
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:57,479
Speaker 2: just got hives like last night, like randomly. But Denor

1195
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 2: made a good point. Maybe it's because something in the

1196
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 2: food of the Bowling Alley was something I'm allergic to

1197
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 2: that I haven't been having, and then I ate it

1198
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 2: and then that was the reaction. Right, But there's so

1199
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 2: many things that we're consuming on a day to day

1200
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 2: basis that it's not going to necessarily show up as

1201
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 2: hives per se, but internally it's clogging you know, your

1202
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 2: digestive track. It's just causing joint issues inflammation. Like I

1203
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:23,479
Speaker 2: was going to the chiropractor often, and once I change

1204
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 2: my diet, lower back pain went away. My gut health

1205
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 2: is so much better. I don't have the bloating that

1206
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 2: I normally had. Like there are just so many things

1207
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 2: that have changed for me once I took control of

1208
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 2: my health and wellness. And it's want to feel good

1209
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 2: about myself and put on a dress and I feel like, oh,

1210
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,320
Speaker 2: I have to like camouflage things like that. So yeah,

1211
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 2: I've been trying to hit the gym hard. Thank you

1212
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 2: get this heart pumping. So I can live long for

1213
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,840
Speaker 2: these boys, God willing and my husband, so we can

1214
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 2: really enjoy and when we're in our seventies, be healthy

1215
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 2: enough to be able to enjoy, you know, what's left

1216
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 2: of life. So I just look forward to that.

1217
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,439
Speaker 1: So I want to know you have dreams and things

1218
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: that you want to do. You have centered your life

1219
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:09,040
Speaker 1: and your world around your husband, your boys, and the

1220
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 1: things that you guys have done together. What does Kadeen

1221
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: want to do? What are your dreams? What are your

1222
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 1: aspirations because I know personally I want you to share

1223
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,720
Speaker 1: and say it out loud, because there is power in

1224
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 1: the tongue, there is power speaking it, and I want

1225
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 1: those things that happen for you. So what are some

1226
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 1: of yous?

1227
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:26,960
Speaker 2: And I appreciate that, thank you for giving me the

1228
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 2: space and platform to do this. I did say early

1229
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 2: on that like one of my main goals was to

1230
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 2: be a wife and mom, and I think that I

1231
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 2: know that I do that well very well, Yeah, very well.

1232
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 2: So having accomplished that. It's funny when you have children,

1233
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 2: you always hear about women saying I lost myself, I

1234
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 2: lost myself and the kids, or I lost myself in

1235
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 2: this marriage. And for me, I used to subscribe to that.

1236
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 2: But for me, I kind of want to change the

1237
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 2: narrative around that because I feel like saying you lost

1238
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 2: yourself is looking at it from a negative standpoint. But

1239
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 2: for me, with each child, there was a rebirth of

1240
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 2: Kadeen and I feel like my children empowered and they

1241
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:24,840
Speaker 2: were a catalyst for igniting this flame in me. Yeah,

1242
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 2: where I feel like I'm unstoppable now. So while I'm

1243
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:31,439
Speaker 2: not having any more children, but I can now grow

1244
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:35,320
Speaker 2: with my children and my husband, Kadeen. Forty year old

1245
01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 2: Kadeen is looking forward to getting back into my career

1246
01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:41,760
Speaker 2: side of things. Like you said, I went to school

1247
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 2: for broadcasting, graduated, you know, from my master's in communication

1248
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:47,920
Speaker 2: and speech and performance. So I want to get back

1249
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:50,480
Speaker 2: in front of the camera. I want to be an actress.

1250
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 2: I want to be a TV host. I want to

1251
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:57,360
Speaker 2: have my own daytime talk show. For me, the opportunities

1252
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 2: and their endless are they really are end this, But

1253
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 2: now I can focus on actually putting the work in.

1254
01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 2: I don't have to feel like, Okay, well I'm going

1255
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 2: to get this far ahead and then may have to

1256
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,040
Speaker 2: stop for a year or two, you know, to be

1257
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:13,400
Speaker 2: at home and then get back and then get back

1258
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:15,440
Speaker 2: into it again. It's like a double dutch rope and

1259
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,840
Speaker 2: get in and out and he's like yeah, and then

1260
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:19,800
Speaker 2: somebody double handed, so you can't quite get in and

1261
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 2: jump right, you know. So for me, it's like it's

1262
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 2: no more double dutch. I'm in the rope and I'm

1263
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 2: going I'm catching a rhythm, and I'm catching a rhythm.

1264
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:30,120
Speaker 2: So I'm working on that, you know, maybe a product

1265
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:32,960
Speaker 2: line or two. They're just a couple of things that

1266
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 2: really are just speaking to me. But like I said before,

1267
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 2: in my forties, now I'm more deliberate and more intentional

1268
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:42,080
Speaker 2: and more sure of where I want to go exactly.

1269
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 2: And I feel that God has not denied me those opportunities.

1270
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:52,440
Speaker 2: He's just deferred them unto a time where I can

1271
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:55,080
Speaker 2: better be able to receive it. Yes, because he can

1272
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 2: get He could have given me some of these opportunities

1273
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 2: a long time ago. There were things that I have

1274
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 2: turned down, that Devow has turned down, that we've turned

1275
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:05,400
Speaker 2: down as a collective because it didn't align with what

1276
01:04:05,600 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 2: we were doing in that moment, what we wanted out

1277
01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 2: of the opportunity. It may not have aligned with our morals.

1278
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:12,320
Speaker 2: There were so many things that we've passed up on.

1279
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 2: But really and truly, I just believe that God was

1280
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:19,760
Speaker 2: giving me these experiences and building up the wisdom within

1281
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 2: so that when these opportunities resurface, They're going to be

1282
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:26,440
Speaker 2: that much bigger, that much better, and I'm going to

1283
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:27,760
Speaker 2: be that much more prepared for it.

1284
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: And you will know a delay is not a denial,

1285
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:33,440
Speaker 1: and you will be more prepared for it. I'm a

1286
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 1: true testimony, I'm a living testimony of that that a

1287
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 1: delay is not a denial. And the nose or the

1288
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 1: what you feel like is not yet, not yet, not yet,

1289
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 1: not yet. When the time does come and God says now,

1290
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 1: it is far much bigger than you could ever imagine me.

1291
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:55,960
Speaker 2: I know that for a fact, and you're so right

1292
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,400
Speaker 2: about that, Crystal, and I receive that because sometimes you

1293
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 2: have to hear it again. And in the meantime, just

1294
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 2: practice and be ready, be prepared. You need to prepare

1295
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:10,520
Speaker 2: for when your opportunity presents itself and be ready, you know,

1296
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:13,120
Speaker 2: because when God says yes and says now, if you're

1297
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:16,000
Speaker 2: not ready and doing your part, even baby, and that's

1298
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:19,280
Speaker 2: on you, it is, that's on you. Like I was

1299
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 2: shown you the way, you know, and I opened this door,

1300
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,320
Speaker 2: don't let a slam in your face. So I'm just

1301
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 2: working now on just preparing myself physically mentally, also having

1302
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,040
Speaker 2: those talks with him to just say, you know, well,

1303
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:33,520
Speaker 2: what is it that you want me to do? What

1304
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 2: am I here for?

1305
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:35,320
Speaker 1: What is my purpose?

1306
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:38,120
Speaker 2: And a lot of times I questioned what my purpose is,

1307
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,920
Speaker 2: but I do truly feel now I can see that

1308
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 2: I'm walking in my purpose, you know, with our podcast,

1309
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 2: with our live shows, with our social media presence. So

1310
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 2: many people have said to me when I get to

1311
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:53,320
Speaker 2: like hug and squeeze those people in real life meet

1312
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:55,400
Speaker 2: and greets, or if I'm run into somebody at Target

1313
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 2: or the supermarket. I've had so many people say, could

1314
01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:01,360
Speaker 2: he you and Devo or you, you know, as a woman,

1315
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:05,760
Speaker 2: have just changed my perspective on self, or you have

1316
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:09,400
Speaker 2: saved my marriage, or you encouraged my husband to just

1317
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 2: open up more, or you know, Devou encourage me to

1318
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 2: approach my husband this way and it saved my marriage.

1319
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 2: You can't tell me we're not out here doing God's work.

1320
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:19,200
Speaker 2: Come on now, because it doesn't look the same for everybody.

1321
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:20,439
Speaker 1: Does not, that's real.

1322
01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:22,920
Speaker 2: It doesn't look the same for everybody. So I've embraced that,

1323
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 2: and that's why I won't shy away from social media

1324
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:28,760
Speaker 2: completely just yet, because I feel like there's still work,

1325
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:31,320
Speaker 2: more work to be done, and I'm gonna keep it

1326
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 2: positive sweet as long as y'all keep it positive period,

1327
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 2: and if you don't period.

1328
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:43,840
Speaker 1: I love that I actually watch your This is my

1329
01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:46,360
Speaker 1: second live show, that our third live show that I've

1330
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: seen you guys, yes, and it was absolutely incredible. And

1331
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:51,720
Speaker 1: I'm doing my first Live show.

1332
01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 2: So excited for you. I mean, I knew it was coming.

1333
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:57,960
Speaker 2: It was going to be a natural success, and we've

1334
01:06:58,040 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 2: encouraged you to do it from the podcast to the

1335
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 2: life show. Is so such a good time. I'm so

1336
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:07,120
Speaker 2: mad's going to be out day. It's the thou was fortieth.

1337
01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:10,200
Speaker 2: So you take my baby Bay out because it's past

1338
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 2: four or five birthdays.

1339
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,840
Speaker 1: He's been working. Absolutely Yea put.

1340
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:15,680
Speaker 2: A hard block on those dates. I'm like, listen, we

1341
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:19,160
Speaker 2: gotta we gotta get it. But I can't wait if

1342
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:22,040
Speaker 2: you drop a second date though, I'm just throwing that out.

1343
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,080
Speaker 2: They're selfishly. March twenty ninth is a cute day. I mean,

1344
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:28,400
Speaker 2: you sold out the thirtieth like a day. It's giving

1345
01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 2: give us an extra day, it's giving it OnCore, it's

1346
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:36,160
Speaker 2: giving OnCore. Perform it right. But I'm excited for you, Crystal. Seriously,

1347
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:38,480
Speaker 2: I'm super proud of what you've been able to do

1348
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 2: just with keep it. I mean, we've spoken about your

1349
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:46,000
Speaker 2: story just for being stylists, being a recording artistes just

1350
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 2: so many years of doing different things and now you're

1351
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:51,200
Speaker 2: like walking in your purpose and you're living your dream

1352
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:54,320
Speaker 2: and you're touching so many people, and I've been watching

1353
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:56,560
Speaker 2: the episodes and those are the comments that I read.

1354
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:58,440
Speaker 2: How people just rally around you and just love you

1355
01:07:58,480 --> 01:08:00,360
Speaker 2: because it's like what's not to love. And I think

1356
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:01,720
Speaker 2: that's why it was so easy for us to hit

1357
01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:05,160
Speaker 2: it off too. It's just like two women's women just

1358
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:08,120
Speaker 2: like are positive and want to see the best, and

1359
01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 2: we'll encourage each other and we share. We don't get

1360
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:14,880
Speaker 2: keep there's no competition. It's just like it's so refreshing

1361
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,600
Speaker 2: to meet someone like you. And I'm so glad that

1362
01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:19,519
Speaker 2: God placed you in our life the way he did.

1363
01:08:20,479 --> 01:08:23,880
Speaker 2: Dakota's godmother too. Everyone knows that, and we're very selective

1364
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:26,320
Speaker 2: about our babies and who's going to be their godparents.

1365
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:30,040
Speaker 2: And just the camaraderie that you built with Deval and

1366
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:32,840
Speaker 2: even just building out the show and then your podcast

1367
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:35,280
Speaker 2: need a positive Sweetie baby, like it just makes so

1368
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:36,559
Speaker 2: much sense for you. And I'm just so.

1369
01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:38,920
Speaker 1: Happy, Thank you. I appreciate that.

1370
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:41,360
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see like the roller coaster. We

1371
01:08:41,439 --> 01:08:43,800
Speaker 2: hands up it me and you were in the front

1372
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:48,000
Speaker 2: seat of the roller coaster, hands up okay, and we're

1373
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,840
Speaker 2: going down, going it's going down.

1374
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:52,600
Speaker 1: If there's any advice you could give me because this

1375
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:55,439
Speaker 1: is my first show. Yes, I am. I have moments

1376
01:08:55,479 --> 01:08:57,439
Speaker 1: where I wake up because I've put a lot on

1377
01:08:57,520 --> 01:08:57,880
Speaker 1: my plate.

1378
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:04,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what else this show, it's putting a whole

1379
01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:08,320
Speaker 2: lot on our plate. Okay, A dance routine, like, oh

1380
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,760
Speaker 2: my gosh, me dance like I was a professional dancer,

1381
01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:13,439
Speaker 2: like competitive, I should say, up until I was about

1382
01:09:13,439 --> 01:09:15,920
Speaker 2: eighteen nineteen when I met de Valuchel. I was just like,

1383
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 2: dance what I would be with this dude over here? Right?

1384
01:09:18,280 --> 01:09:22,640
Speaker 2: But I'm a dancing but he Yeah, but just to

1385
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:25,040
Speaker 2: use that side of my brain again, I really had

1386
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:27,040
Speaker 2: to be like, oh my god, like choreography and doing

1387
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:28,840
Speaker 2: a split and stretching, like I really had to push

1388
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:32,600
Speaker 2: myself there. So in terms of you, an advice for

1389
01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:36,559
Speaker 2: your live show, continue to show up as your true

1390
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:39,200
Speaker 2: and authentic self. That's who people want to see. Yeah,

1391
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:41,920
Speaker 2: that's who people want to see. And you're a performer

1392
01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:43,720
Speaker 2: as well, Like I am, Like I feel like I

1393
01:09:43,840 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 2: come alive on stage. I love to feel the energy

1394
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,479
Speaker 2: of the crowd. I love just see the faces of

1395
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:53,600
Speaker 2: the people who just love and support my family. So

1396
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 2: it's the same for you, like everyone there, and it's

1397
01:09:56,040 --> 01:10:02,280
Speaker 2: funny because you called me before our Dallas show. Yes,

1398
01:10:02,439 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 2: you facetimed me, and you were just like, Sis, what's up,

1399
01:10:04,520 --> 01:10:05,960
Speaker 2: just touching base, like how are you feeling about the

1400
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,720
Speaker 2: show and everything? And my girl, I got a dance

1401
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:09,840
Speaker 2: like I'm nervous and you I'm going to actually give

1402
01:10:09,880 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 2: you the advice you gave me because it literally made

1403
01:10:14,200 --> 01:10:16,600
Speaker 2: me feel so much better. You have no idea, and

1404
01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:18,880
Speaker 2: I said it about Crystal just told me this and

1405
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:20,720
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, that makes so much sense.

1406
01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:23,240
Speaker 2: It was like, I think I told you that before.

1407
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:26,800
Speaker 2: It sounded better coming for Christmas. I'm sorry, Okay, sounds

1408
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:29,280
Speaker 2: better for somebody else. But you literally said to me,

1409
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:31,920
Speaker 2: everyone who bought a ticket and will be in that

1410
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:35,479
Speaker 2: building is there because they love and support you and

1411
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:38,479
Speaker 2: everything that you've been doing. They're there for a reason.

1412
01:10:39,200 --> 01:10:42,560
Speaker 2: And I was like, you're absolutely right, Like, there's not

1413
01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:44,760
Speaker 2: a bunch of Heckler's there, I'm not going out to

1414
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:46,679
Speaker 2: do a talent showing to see what you know, who's

1415
01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:48,560
Speaker 2: going to give me a ten? Even though it was

1416
01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:55,439
Speaker 2: a tet it because maybe we've been on tour and

1417
01:10:55,520 --> 01:11:00,040
Speaker 2: Beyonce last year, that's how inspired. Okay, we want you

1418
01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:02,880
Speaker 2: were in Sweden and all sorts of places. So no,

1419
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:04,920
Speaker 2: but literally you you made me feel so much better

1420
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:06,560
Speaker 2: because I'm just like, I'm just going to have a

1421
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:08,560
Speaker 2: good time with people who want to come and just

1422
01:11:08,680 --> 01:11:10,880
Speaker 2: be in my space and my company, and I get

1423
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:12,439
Speaker 2: to love on them and they get to love on me.

1424
01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:14,880
Speaker 2: And it's just that reciprocity that you feel when you're

1425
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:17,200
Speaker 2: in that environment. So just tap into that because it's

1426
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:19,800
Speaker 2: going to flow. It is going to flow, and you

1427
01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:21,000
Speaker 2: were going to be just fine.

1428
01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:21,439
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1429
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:23,800
Speaker 2: Just you know, Divin I will belsing whistles first of

1430
01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,720
Speaker 2: all when you pick it next day, because sult me first.

1431
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:27,280
Speaker 2: I can make sure you count may because you know

1432
01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:30,880
Speaker 2: my hYP of flight anytime I can, yes, for sure, sure,

1433
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:32,040
Speaker 2: for sure.

1434
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:39,320
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Okay, So now we are to my

1435
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:41,719
Speaker 1: favorite part of the show. It's okay positive outcomes, Okay,

1436
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:44,519
Speaker 1: where our listeners right in and we give them advice

1437
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:45,479
Speaker 1: on whatever they're dealing with.

1438
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:46,960
Speaker 2: I love to let us.

1439
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:51,639
Speaker 1: So this one says. I'm thirty three with five kids

1440
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:54,080
Speaker 1: and have been married for twelve years. My last three

1441
01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:57,280
Speaker 1: pregnancies were higher risk. I've allowed my spouse to control

1442
01:11:57,360 --> 01:11:59,639
Speaker 1: my bird control and continually put my life at risk

1443
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:02,720
Speaker 1: with these pregnancies. My husband has been cheating off and

1444
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:06,320
Speaker 1: on since twenty seventeen, and with the high risk pregnancies,

1445
01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 1: I've been stuck with him all these years that I've

1446
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:12,719
Speaker 1: been wanting to get out of this marriage. Our children

1447
01:12:12,720 --> 01:12:16,559
Speaker 1: are eleven, nine, four, two, and six months. I can't

1448
01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:18,800
Speaker 1: even work full time, and my small children are not

1449
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:21,599
Speaker 1: able to attend daycare just yet. I have a part

1450
01:12:21,640 --> 01:12:24,519
Speaker 1: time job to support myself my children. Because of the

1451
01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:27,360
Speaker 1: amount of children I have, I can't afford housing, so

1452
01:12:27,479 --> 01:12:31,440
Speaker 1: that causes me to be stuck with him. He's very controlling, manipulative,

1453
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:34,280
Speaker 1: emotionally abusive, and I'm afraid of him. Do you have

1454
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:36,719
Speaker 1: any words of encouragement to help me build the curge

1455
01:12:36,760 --> 01:12:38,360
Speaker 1: to get out of this relationship?

1456
01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:41,400
Speaker 2: Wow, that was a mouthful.

1457
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:43,360
Speaker 1: That was a lot. I feel for her.

1458
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:45,400
Speaker 2: Thirty three and has been married.

1459
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:48,439
Speaker 1: For twelve years kids. Yeah, so that's.

1460
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:51,800
Speaker 2: Nineteen that she got married or it's been with him, yeah,

1461
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:53,720
Speaker 2: and then within that five I mean, because that's so

1462
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:56,440
Speaker 2: many layers to it. So you're in an abusive relationship

1463
01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:01,120
Speaker 2: very much, and then you have five children who are

1464
01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:03,120
Speaker 2: also exposed to this abuse. I wonder if she has

1465
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:06,280
Speaker 2: a village, like anyone to lean on, because it's hard.

1466
01:13:06,479 --> 01:13:08,560
Speaker 2: Like I'm thinking about how difficult that must be to

1467
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:12,400
Speaker 2: be in an environment where you're not supported someone who's

1468
01:13:12,439 --> 01:13:14,599
Speaker 2: controlling and manipulating birth control methods.

1469
01:13:14,760 --> 01:13:16,639
Speaker 1: That is crazy, And I mean it seems like it's

1470
01:13:16,640 --> 01:13:18,680
Speaker 1: been happening from a young If you've been with him

1471
01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:22,200
Speaker 1: since nineteen, this is someone that has had time to

1472
01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:22,880
Speaker 1: manipulate you.

1473
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:25,040
Speaker 2: Oh for sure, and he knows exactly what he's doing.

1474
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:27,080
Speaker 2: I want to ask her, like, does she have a

1475
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:29,439
Speaker 2: village of people or anyone that she can lean on

1476
01:13:29,600 --> 01:13:32,080
Speaker 2: for support to just kind of help her get her footing.

1477
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,680
Speaker 2: And I want to encourage her and just let her

1478
01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:38,160
Speaker 2: know that everything is seasonal. Everything is seasonal. I don't

1479
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:40,200
Speaker 2: think that this is going to be the rest of

1480
01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:41,880
Speaker 2: her life. It doesn't have to be the rest of

1481
01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:44,519
Speaker 2: her life, but it's particularly hard when you have that

1482
01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:47,599
Speaker 2: many children and then work and then finances and stuff

1483
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:49,880
Speaker 2: like that. So I would encourage her to kind of seek,

1484
01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:52,360
Speaker 2: you know, any kind of refuge that she can or

1485
01:13:52,439 --> 01:13:55,080
Speaker 2: kind of support and advice from people around her who

1486
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:57,200
Speaker 2: may be able to help her find a way out,

1487
01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:00,120
Speaker 2: because that's a particularly difficult situation.

1488
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:02,640
Speaker 1: To Yeah, it's very difficult, but definitely you need to

1489
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:05,040
Speaker 1: get out of this. Wow, yeah, for sure, because this

1490
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:09,280
Speaker 1: is this isn't good. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I echo

1491
01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:12,160
Speaker 1: everything you just said for sure, and I pray that

1492
01:14:12,760 --> 01:14:14,880
Speaker 1: you seek the help that you need, that you definitely

1493
01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:18,240
Speaker 1: get around the right people. One thing that I was

1494
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,640
Speaker 1: taught we just were talking about in church yesterday was

1495
01:14:22,560 --> 01:14:27,320
Speaker 1: letting go of like friend groups that don't serve you,

1496
01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:29,800
Speaker 1: you know, and especially the walk that you're trying to

1497
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,599
Speaker 1: be on. So if you're around people who their man

1498
01:14:32,640 --> 01:14:35,400
Speaker 1: are doing the same thing you're not, you're less apt

1499
01:14:35,479 --> 01:14:37,360
Speaker 1: to like get out of that situation. But if you're

1500
01:14:37,360 --> 01:14:39,800
Speaker 1: around people who know their worth and like, hey girl,

1501
01:14:40,080 --> 01:14:42,600
Speaker 1: you deserve better, then you're like, wait a minute, I

1502
01:14:42,680 --> 01:14:44,760
Speaker 1: do deserve it, and you're more apt to get out

1503
01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:45,400
Speaker 1: of that for sure.

1504
01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:48,080
Speaker 2: Around people who can speak life and positivity into you,

1505
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:50,960
Speaker 2: for sure. And also birth control is very personal, Like

1506
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:54,720
Speaker 2: that's insane that he can control her birth control in

1507
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:56,600
Speaker 2: a way, like there has to be a way for

1508
01:14:56,720 --> 01:15:00,160
Speaker 2: her to personally make that decision between her and her

1509
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:04,360
Speaker 2: health care provider to get on something that can protect her,

1510
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:06,760
Speaker 2: especially if he's not going to be the one to

1511
01:15:06,880 --> 01:15:10,720
Speaker 2: protect her. For example, like the valid I was on

1512
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:12,160
Speaker 2: the IUD for a long time and then that was

1513
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:15,200
Speaker 2: messing with me hormonally and just my whole body was

1514
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:17,400
Speaker 2: thrown off. So he in turn had the bessectomy to

1515
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:20,360
Speaker 2: protect us from future pregnancies because we knew we were

1516
01:15:20,360 --> 01:15:22,560
Speaker 2: done with children. But he doesn't even seem like he

1517
01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:25,600
Speaker 2: would have the capacity to even have that conversation with

1518
01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:27,519
Speaker 2: her about what's going to be the best interest of

1519
01:15:27,600 --> 01:15:30,000
Speaker 2: her help. So yeah, I'll pray for her as well too,

1520
01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:32,200
Speaker 2: that she can find the strength to get past this

1521
01:15:32,280 --> 01:15:34,960
Speaker 2: and hopefully she can find some support through family.

1522
01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:41,160
Speaker 1: For sure. The next thing we do is what I'm

1523
01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:46,320
Speaker 1: going through and what I'm growing through, And right now

1524
01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:53,920
Speaker 1: I would say I am going through an evolution period,

1525
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:58,800
Speaker 1: another season of uncertainty. Really, you know, I'm saying knowing

1526
01:15:58,840 --> 01:16:01,240
Speaker 1: that it's something more than I want to do and achieve,

1527
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:06,799
Speaker 1: but also trying to be patient and not jump the Gunyah.

1528
01:16:07,479 --> 01:16:09,760
Speaker 2: Mine is kind of similar when you said to you,

1529
01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:14,440
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I'm going through a season of discomfort,

1530
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:19,519
Speaker 2: but I'm also growing through the discomfort. That's good because

1531
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:23,000
Speaker 2: I feel like you need to be in an uncomfortable

1532
01:16:23,080 --> 01:16:28,120
Speaker 2: space in order to evoke change. And I know that

1533
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:31,120
Speaker 2: on the other side of this discomfort is just me

1534
01:16:31,479 --> 01:16:35,760
Speaker 2: figuring out what's next. And once I know that, then

1535
01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:38,320
Speaker 2: I can move with a sense of certainty. But I

1536
01:16:38,439 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 2: also to know that this level of discomfort that I'm

1537
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:44,160
Speaker 2: feeling too is also God's way of just kind of

1538
01:16:44,320 --> 01:16:48,599
Speaker 2: pushing me into a direction that He's preparing me for something,

1539
01:16:48,840 --> 01:16:51,880
Speaker 2: and I embrace it. Where most people would try to

1540
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:54,800
Speaker 2: run away from the discomfort, I'm trying to embrace it,

1541
01:16:54,960 --> 01:16:58,160
Speaker 2: as scary as it is sometimes, but just knowing and

1542
01:16:58,240 --> 01:17:00,679
Speaker 2: having faith that it's going to work out as it. Yeah,

1543
01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:03,840
Speaker 2: and my grandmother always says nothing beats the right time,

1544
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:06,680
Speaker 2: so oh that's good. Nothing beats the right time, so

1545
01:17:07,080 --> 01:17:08,720
Speaker 2: and it's always got time, That's what she used to

1546
01:17:08,720 --> 01:17:12,880
Speaker 2: tell me. So I am looking forward to the other

1547
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:16,840
Speaker 2: side of this discomfort and the beauty that will bloom

1548
01:17:16,920 --> 01:17:20,120
Speaker 2: from it some one springtime, like you know that like

1549
01:17:20,240 --> 01:17:24,040
Speaker 2: weird like winter fields, like downtrodden and cold and dark,

1550
01:17:24,160 --> 01:17:26,800
Speaker 2: but then it's like the light and the blooming and

1551
01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:28,640
Speaker 2: the spring, and I feel like I'm in line with

1552
01:17:28,760 --> 01:17:31,040
Speaker 2: the seasons right now, Like it's I'm on the cusp

1553
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:33,600
Speaker 2: of something, oh absolutely, and I'm just embracing it.

1554
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:38,600
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it, and then we like

1555
01:17:38,640 --> 01:17:40,759
Speaker 1: to do what it's called keep it blank, sweete. Okay,

1556
01:17:41,040 --> 01:17:49,640
Speaker 1: So for this episode, I would say I have one

1557
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:50,799
Speaker 1: go ahead, give me yours.

1558
01:17:51,720 --> 01:17:54,840
Speaker 2: I think the overarching takeaway for me with everything that

1559
01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:56,880
Speaker 2: we spoke about, and this is actually my word for

1560
01:17:57,439 --> 01:17:59,880
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. I always have like a word happening year.

1561
01:18:00,880 --> 01:18:04,759
Speaker 2: Keep it deliberate, sweetie. And I say keep it deliberate,

1562
01:18:04,840 --> 01:18:07,240
Speaker 2: because if you are intentional and deliberate with where you're

1563
01:18:07,280 --> 01:18:11,240
Speaker 2: putting your time, your energy, your space, your spirit, your heart,

1564
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:16,920
Speaker 2: you will be very focused on what you need and

1565
01:18:17,040 --> 01:18:20,559
Speaker 2: what you can be to others. So keep it deliberate.

1566
01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:21,479
Speaker 2: It's my thing.

1567
01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:24,839
Speaker 1: I love it, and I will say keep it authentic, sweetye.

1568
01:18:25,120 --> 01:18:28,519
Speaker 1: Something you told me just be myself, and I would

1569
01:18:28,600 --> 01:18:32,080
Speaker 1: implore you all to do the same. So keep it authentic, sweetye.

1570
01:18:33,080 --> 01:18:38,800
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Love. We're stuck in.

1571
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:45,000
Speaker 2: I love you girls. You're great. This is such a

1572
01:18:45,040 --> 01:18:47,600
Speaker 2: good time, so good. I feel you're talking about so

1573
01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:48,120
Speaker 2: many things.

1574
01:18:49,360 --> 01:18:49,720
Speaker 1: For sure.

1575
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:51,719
Speaker 2: We haven't even scratched services like other stuff.

1576
01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:57,479
Speaker 1: You know. Let us know I'll come.

1577
01:18:57,960 --> 01:18:58,160
Speaker 2: Yes.

1578
01:18:58,640 --> 01:19:01,000
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much, so much for tuning into

1579
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,240
Speaker 1: this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie. If you want

1580
01:19:03,240 --> 01:19:05,880
Speaker 1: to write into our open listener letter, you can write

1581
01:19:05,880 --> 01:19:08,160
Speaker 1: it to Keep It Positive Sweetie at gmail dot com

1582
01:19:08,280 --> 01:19:10,760
Speaker 1: and that's Sweetie with an Ie. You can follow me

1583
01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:15,240
Speaker 1: on all platforms at Love chrysal Orinee. That's Luv, on Instagram, Twitter,

1584
01:19:15,439 --> 01:19:18,400
Speaker 1: or x and TikTok. Canadeen you tell the people where

1585
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:18,920
Speaker 1: they can find you.

1586
01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:22,479
Speaker 2: You can find me at on Instagram at Kadeen I Am.

1587
01:19:22,600 --> 01:19:24,720
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I'm on Instagram at Kadeen I Am.

1588
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:28,040
Speaker 2: I'm also given TikTok a try y'all, so yeah, I'm

1589
01:19:28,040 --> 01:19:29,880
Speaker 2: over there too, Kadeen I Am. And then of course

1590
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,160
Speaker 2: our podcast My Husband and I Dead Ass was Kadeen

1591
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:34,559
Speaker 2: in Devell and you can find our Instagram page dead

1592
01:19:34,600 --> 01:19:37,080
Speaker 2: Ass the podcast as well, and our New York Times

1593
01:19:37,160 --> 01:19:39,519
Speaker 2: bestselling book Yes We of Me, It's on my nice

1594
01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:42,439
Speaker 2: same We over meet Baby. The counter Intuitive Approach to

1595
01:19:42,479 --> 01:19:45,200
Speaker 2: getting everything you want out of your relationship. Go ahead

1596
01:19:45,240 --> 01:19:48,280
Speaker 2: and grab your copy today and tell a friend please

1597
01:19:49,320 --> 01:19:50,719
Speaker 2: get it, get it, get it. Guys.

1598
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:53,600
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Please have

1599
01:19:53,640 --> 01:19:56,479
Speaker 1: an amazing week. In the meantime and in between times

1600
01:19:56,520 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 1: you know what to do. Keep it positive, sweetie period.

1601
01:19:59,280 --> 01:20:13,679
Speaker 4: Guys, thank you so much, Heavenly Father for this moment.

1602
01:20:13,760 --> 01:20:15,920
Speaker 4: Father God, thank you for getting everyone here safely.

1603
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:16,200
Speaker 2: Lord.

1604
01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:18,680
Speaker 4: We asked that you bless this time together, Father God,

1605
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:22,080
Speaker 4: that for those that are watching and listening to this podcast,

1606
01:20:22,160 --> 01:20:23,840
Speaker 4: Father God, that you will open their hearts and their

1607
01:20:23,880 --> 01:20:26,320
Speaker 4: ears to receive what you want them to receive. Bless

1608
01:20:26,360 --> 01:20:28,839
Speaker 4: Kadeen and christ as they have open and vulnerable conversation,

1609
01:20:28,920 --> 01:20:30,760
Speaker 4: Father God, and let this space just continue to.

1610
01:20:30,760 --> 01:20:33,519
Speaker 1: Feel safe for everyone to speak and share.

1611
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:35,559
Speaker 4: Lord, we love you, we honor you, and we bring

1612
01:20:35,640 --> 01:20:37,280
Speaker 4: you all the glory, honor, and praise and your name.

1613
01:20:37,360 --> 01:20:37,599
Speaker 1: We pray.

1614
01:20:37,680 --> 01:20:39,120
Speaker 2: Amen. Amen, Amen,