Speaker 1: What is the mini retirement update? How's it going? Is? It?
Speaker 1: Has it started?
Speaker 2: So it's gonna look a little bit different and it's
Speaker 2: not as like planned out as I thought it would
Speaker 2: be by this point, but it's all coming together. Everything
Speaker 2: is fallen into place, and I'm just excited for what's
Speaker 2: to come.
Speaker 1: I think that's a word. Especially as moms, we're so unfree. Hey,
Speaker 1: ba fan, welcome to the Brown table, Welcome to Brown Ambition.
Speaker 1: I have the beautiful, the stunning Nasima McElroy here with
Speaker 1: me financially intentional. If you're not already following her on ig,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what you're waiting for. That's your main channel, right,
Speaker 1: Are you also TikTok famous? I'm I'm not a TikToker,
Speaker 1: not yet. I need to, I need to. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a lot to man. If they would just be
Speaker 1: friends and you could upload one thing there and then both,
Speaker 1: but they're both. It's two, they're two petties. It's a
Speaker 1: whole different a whole different universe over there. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful. We both just got back for some travel.
Speaker 1: I think your trip was probably more beautiful than mine.
Speaker 1: But you tell me you were at Lake Tahoe. Yes,
Speaker 1: it was. It was actually pretty beautiful with serene.
Speaker 2: It was like hot and I don't know, like most
Speaker 2: people don't know like Lake Tahoe facts, but it's so
Speaker 2: deep that the water never really warms up, like it's
Speaker 2: always super cold.
Speaker 1: But because of.
Speaker 2: Global warming, it was kind of tolerable enough that you
Speaker 2: can kind of get into get in it. So we
Speaker 2: had a good time out there. And I have a
Speaker 2: really good friend who is actually in the personal finance community.
Speaker 2: Her name is Lisa Peterson. She wrote the book The
Speaker 2: Mindful Millionaire. Her daughter has a house out there, and
Speaker 2: her daughter has like this crazy social media following she's
Speaker 2: called the adventure Addicts. And so yeah, her daughter was
Speaker 2: able to buy a house in Lake Tahoe. But I've
Speaker 2: been knowing her since her was like still in college,
Speaker 2: and so to be able to watch their journey and
Speaker 2: then to be able to like go and share and
Speaker 2: all that stuff was like beautiful. And it's like she's
Speaker 2: one of the kind of people that I look to
Speaker 2: for like parenting advice. So it was great. We had
Speaker 2: a good Yeah.
Speaker 1: So she gets so her daughter hosted that's crazy to
Speaker 1: think one day My best was one of my good friends.
Speaker 1: Their kid may host me at their house, her daughters
Speaker 1: in her.
Speaker 2: And so she was house sitting and so you know,
Speaker 2: we got to enjoy the fruits of her labor.
Speaker 1: I love that even more because then you can get
Speaker 1: up to no good and you don't have like the
Speaker 1: kid whose diapers used to change there watching you get
Speaker 1: drunk two in them afternoon for just me.
Speaker 2: But it was it was great. It was a lovely
Speaker 2: experience and just oh my goodness, the nature, the whole
Speaker 2: familion and all the kids. They really enjoyed themselves. And
Speaker 2: we actually used to live around that area. Well we
Speaker 2: used to live around like Tahoe as well, but on
Speaker 2: in other parts. We had never been to that side,
Speaker 2: so it was a good experience. They but they don't
Speaker 2: really remember it.
Speaker 1: Who yeah, oh ok.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like this one was born there and she's like,
Speaker 2: I want to go back and I want to live there,
Speaker 2: and I'm just like.
Speaker 1: You don't even like remember what it was like, but
Speaker 1: you can't tell her that. So well, I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, the last time you were on the show. It's
Speaker 1: been a couple of months since you and you Elli
Speaker 1: were on the show, so we were soft launching a
Speaker 1: Boo and we were hard launching many retirement. I want
Speaker 1: updates on both, which one, which one we're doing? We
Speaker 1: can play it cute and skip the boo. We can
Speaker 1: go then retirement.
Speaker 2: Oh, listen, the boo situation is situationing like it's great.
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know why I got worried. You're playing
Speaker 1: it too cool. Yeah, it's We're good. That's going well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll see I think you'll see more of that
Speaker 2: situation play out.
Speaker 1: So I've been gone for a week though. So my
Speaker 1: trip was I went to Atlanta. I was in Atlanta
Speaker 1: four oh yes, yes, yes, eight days with me and
Speaker 1: Remi ru. My dad just had a kidney transplant, and
Speaker 1: I was there to shuttle him from appointments and just
Speaker 1: just like have eyes on the eagle because that man
Speaker 1: cannot be trusted, especially not with no new organ in
Speaker 1: his body, and to babysit him basically while my brother
Speaker 1: was out of town. But while I was gone, my
Speaker 1: five year old and my husband were here to their
Speaker 1: own devices. And I had really had to let go
Speaker 1: and let God because I knew I'd be coming back
Speaker 1: to all of my beautiful systems being destroyed. I knew
Speaker 1: that I knew bedtime was a rap. I knew bathtime
Speaker 1: maybe once or twice once. Let's not talk about it.
Speaker 1: When he when when real jumped in my arms at
Speaker 1: the airport. I mean he smelled okay, but his hair, oh,
Speaker 1: oh my god, the hair was neglected. The curls were sad,
Speaker 1: they were it was giving. I mean, all hair texture
Speaker 1: is beautiful, but it was giving like straw, you know,
Speaker 1: like he clearly had not been bathed or his hair
Speaker 1: had not been washed and moisturized since pool day last Tuesday,
Speaker 1: okay and pool day, Oh god, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I can't even but I got back yesterday
Speaker 1: and I am slowly just piecing this house back together
Speaker 1: to uh, did you at least get to see biance again?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, on my mouth, my voice back down
Speaker 1: to we're jumping all over the place. This is very
Speaker 1: adhd of me. Undiagnosed, very much undignosed, diagnosed. I'm very diagnosed.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I see Beyonce again. Yes I did,
Speaker 1: And it was the best decision I ever made. I
Speaker 1: haven't felt that way about spending money like where since
Speaker 1: my wedding. Really, Like I can think of a couple
Speaker 1: things that have I have been like, oh, that was
Speaker 1: worth every overpriced dollar my wedding, because that was a time, beautiful, stunning,
Speaker 1: ten out of ten. I love it and going to
Speaker 1: see Beyonce, I'm never not getting fed. Like I'm leaving
Speaker 1: there full if you're open, like if you go with
Speaker 1: the right mindset, if you go to like have a
Speaker 1: good time, because I don't know. I was sitting next
Speaker 1: to people when Atlanta who were just sat there like
Speaker 1: where I was in the floor seats, but they literally
Speaker 1: just wanted to sit in their seats. Yeah, and Atlanta
Speaker 1: I was so confused, interesting and weren't singing and screaming
Speaker 1: every song. And I'm like the way I come out
Speaker 1: of my own body when I'm at a Beyonce show,
Speaker 1: i am just like feral. I am singing every lyric,
Speaker 1: I am talking to her through the songs. I am
Speaker 1: losing my voice. But it was such a good use
Speaker 1: of money. I just I love money so much. I
Speaker 1: love it so much because it gives me that kind
Speaker 1: of experience. And I went by myself, which was very
Speaker 1: grown woman. That is very grown. I did have a
Speaker 1: bit of drama though I shared this on Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was so under it because like the last thing I
Speaker 1: saw like it was like your tickets wasn't right. And
Speaker 1: then so I bought the ticket because when I booked
Speaker 1: my trip to Georgia, it was only a few weeks ago,
Speaker 1: and I mean I was I wasn't going. It wasn't
Speaker 1: the point of my trip. My point was to be
Speaker 1: there for Dad. I stayed a lot longer than I
Speaker 1: might have if Beyonce hadn't been in town that weekend.
Speaker 1: I was like the volunteers Tribute, I'll take care of dad. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm the best daughter ever. Meanwhile, me get on StubHub
Speaker 1: and I don't know why I didn't just go to Ticketmaster.
Speaker 1: I forget how I ended up on StubHub. I have
Speaker 1: bought tickets on StubHub before. I don't remember it being
Speaker 1: a situation where you didn't get your tickets immediately and
Speaker 1: you had to wait. And because of that, I bought
Speaker 1: the tickets. They were like five hundred dollars made about
Speaker 1: a ticket five hundred bucks, and I bought the ticket
Speaker 1: I wanted I have been. I just saw her in London,
Speaker 1: me and my friend. We we were standing in the
Speaker 1: honeybuck and pit on the side of the stage, so
Speaker 1: close you know, next to the fans that are blowing
Speaker 1: in her. It was an amazing experience. But I wanted
Speaker 1: to be more. I wanted to be center. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be further out so I can see the whole stage.
Speaker 1: And I had a very specific idea of where I
Speaker 1: wanted to sit. So that's why I bought that ticket. Okay,
Speaker 1: it wastenchional. Also it was a damn good deal. It
Speaker 1: was the front row of a floor section because I
Speaker 1: don't like being on the floor because you got people's
Speaker 1: big ass heads in front of you and you're all
Speaker 1: on the same level. And even though I'm tall, I
Speaker 1: knew people going to be wearing hats like we're doing
Speaker 1: the most. I wanted to be front row. The morning
Speaker 1: of the show, I got an email from stub Hub. Well,
Speaker 1: first I got a phone call. I'm getting ready for church,
Speaker 1: taking ready to church, And I got a phone call
Speaker 1: and I was ignoring it because it was like an
Speaker 1: eight seven seven number. And then I got the voicemail.
Speaker 1: It was like, we're calling from stub Hub. The seller
Speaker 1: has had issues, has had issues transferring your tickets. Maybe
Speaker 1: they didn't have a ticket mmm mm hmm. I was
Speaker 1: so confused. I'm like, what do you need my ticket?
Speaker 1: I don't I already have it? No, woman, I didn't
Speaker 1: already have the ticket. I was supposed to have it
Speaker 1: transferred to me, but I was so used to just
Speaker 1: buying a ticket and having it that I didn't like
Speaker 1: read the email carefully when I got it. So I
Speaker 1: was on the phone with stub Hub and they basically
Speaker 1: said that that ticket was no longer available, which I
Speaker 1: was in denial because how could it no longer be available?
Speaker 1: I paid for it they and their system is that
Speaker 1: they send you a link to alternative choices. So the
Speaker 1: seller who was clearly some like ticket, you know, ticket,
Speaker 1: not as I guess, a scalper galpar yeah, not a
Speaker 1: scam per se because I was going to get a
Speaker 1: ticket apparently, but a bait and switch happened. So clearly
Speaker 1: he had sold my cut my ticket available and sold
Speaker 1: it for a higher price the day of the show,
Speaker 1: So it was no longer available to me, but he
Speaker 1: was offering me and I'm saying he, They said he,
Speaker 1: And I was like, how do you know who this
Speaker 1: person is? They were on the phone with him apparently
Speaker 1: on the other line, and he had I had a
Speaker 1: couple of options from him available that were like they
Speaker 1: were staged right bound off to the side on the floor,
Speaker 1: but off to the side, and I'm like, no, I
Speaker 1: wanted to this matters to me. I want to be
Speaker 1: dead center. I want to see I want to see
Speaker 1: everything from this viewpoint. And I was really upset and
Speaker 1: I was kind of like disassociated from it because I'm
Speaker 1: taking care of two babies at this point and got
Speaker 1: my dad and I got my actual baby, and We're
Speaker 1: trying to get to church and anything. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna I'm gonna I'm going
Speaker 1: to decline the alternative that he offered, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell stub Hub exactly what I want. I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to be center. I don't want anything else.
Speaker 1: And then we went to church, and three hours later,
Speaker 1: feah hours later, I oh gotta love church. Three hours later,
Speaker 1: I had to claw my way out of that church
Speaker 1: because you know, they had two people manning the door
Speaker 1: to black people from leaving. I haven't meant to church
Speaker 1: in a long time, let alone, like this is my
Speaker 1: two people at the door. Oh sorry, sorry, no one
Speaker 1: can leave. All pastors praying. I'm like pastor's been praying.
Speaker 1: I mean no disrespect. First of all, I'm a heathen.
Speaker 1: I haven't been a church in forever. But meanwhile, I
Speaker 1: have my roots are in the Black Baptist Church. Like
Speaker 1: I'm a Southern Baptist girl, and my aunt Brenda, my
Speaker 1: uncle uncle Chrystley, Uncle Booby call him, they're both like
Speaker 1: assistant pastors at this really, you know, humble, What other
Speaker 1: way can I describe it? Humble? Classic Black Baptist church,
Speaker 1: like in the heart of Atlanta, and you know, like,
Speaker 1: is the ac gonna work today? We don't know. I
Speaker 1: may or. I dressed light, I brought ice water. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm hydrating, Like I know, I pretty much
Speaker 1: know what to expect, but I haven't actually been to
Speaker 1: the church, despite trying for a while. So me and
Speaker 1: Remy and I should have known better because my dad
Speaker 1: was like, I'm dropping y'all off. I'm gonna go get
Speaker 1: a haircut. I'll see y'all later. I was like, Daddy,
Speaker 1: you don't want to come to church, like, may be
Speaker 1: part of that right now. I'm like, nah, I'm good,
Speaker 1: see y'all later. Bye. Ran for it. But it was
Speaker 1: it was actually a really beautiful experience. But two and
Speaker 1: a half hours in, I was about done. I felt bad.
Speaker 1: My friend and I had to get up out of there.
Speaker 1: I have a two year old, he's hungry. I'm hungry.
Speaker 1: I got and I wasn't going to tell them because
Speaker 1: I don't want to know. And I worshiped a fal
Speaker 1: saddle Beyonce, but I was like, I have to go.
Speaker 1: I had things to do. And they had two men
Speaker 1: at the door. Yes. And at first I was like, oh, oh,
Speaker 1: pastor's prying, okay, And this is after the sermon. People
Speaker 1: are just going up for their blessing or whatever. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, okay, gotcha understood. And then I had
Speaker 1: to sit down and talk to myself. I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: a grown woman. They can't. They can to stay inside
Speaker 1: this building, like for me can knock this door down.
Speaker 1: It's a very small church. And I had to go
Speaker 1: back and be like, I'm so sorry, I really need
Speaker 1: to go. My rides outside and I escaped and it
Speaker 1: was and I escaped before I got to I got
Speaker 1: and I know my aunt, my aunt has been dying
Speaker 1: for me to come and I and and I know
Speaker 1: she wanted me to like meet all the meet her
Speaker 1: past her, head past her. I know she wanted me
Speaker 1: to meet her whole, like the whole whole community. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so sorry. Next time. Next time. Now,
Speaker 1: I know, when Aunt Brenda tells you to come to
Speaker 1: church at eleven, get there at twelve forty five, and
Speaker 1: then if you spend two three and a half three
Speaker 1: hours there, then you'll be there long enough to be
Speaker 1: able to withstand the social interaction at the end. Because
Speaker 1: I depleted, depleted, Yeah, it's way too much. Will you try?
Speaker 1: You did it? Girl? I couldn't you been a better
Speaker 1: person than me? Really not a church girl.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I I grew up Muslim, but my dad
Speaker 2: was the only Muslim person in the family, and so
Speaker 2: everybody else, you know, was Christian, and so I am
Speaker 2: very familiar with church, but that's never been my thing,
Speaker 2: and so like to be able to sit through something
Speaker 2: like that, I couldn't ever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, ba fam, we're gonna take a quick break,
Speaker 1: pay some bills, and we'll be right back. All right,
Speaker 1: ba fam, We're back. I think only because I knew
Speaker 1: half the people, and I mean it's a small trash
Speaker 1: because the choir is like, oh, there's my cousin Tuki.
Speaker 1: There's my cousin Ruby, There's my cousin Quita. Like it's
Speaker 1: family and for me, I love that. Oh two Ki Yeah,
Speaker 1: well her real name is Wandra putting all her business
Speaker 1: out there. No one has a real name. Everyone's got
Speaker 1: it's like Uncle Boo, I mean Uncle Kresley Kresley, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know, but it was me getting to see
Speaker 1: them in this element. It was for me, it felt
Speaker 1: like I was watching a show, not to like not
Speaker 1: to token eyes or to like diminish the how much
Speaker 1: they love it and how how much it means to them.
Speaker 1: But it was just really beautiful for me to be
Speaker 1: in that environment and to see them do their thing.
Speaker 1: I mean I never get to see my I mean,
Speaker 1: my aunt brand is always trying to preach to me
Speaker 1: on the phone. But it was cool. It was really
Speaker 1: cool to see her in her bag, you know, in
Speaker 1: the right context, not when I'm trying to like get
Speaker 1: her off.
Speaker 2: The phone, get off the phone.
Speaker 1: And seeing my uncle Boo and like seeing the way
Speaker 1: that the move the music was moving him. He's you know,
Speaker 1: he's my older. These are my great uncles and they
Speaker 1: are you know, they're older, they're getting on but he
Speaker 1: got and he has a bad back, but he got up.
Speaker 1: He was doing his little to his little two step.
Speaker 1: The Holy Spirit was moving him. And you know, cousin
Speaker 1: Tuki and and Brenda were they were singing, they're doing
Speaker 1: and it was and then my cousin be her son
Speaker 1: is like on the keys, and then two key and
Speaker 1: then another. I forget. I got always cousins. I don't
Speaker 1: know which cousin it was who was also on the keys.
Speaker 1: Another cousin's doing the drums. It's I don't know. It
Speaker 1: felt really, I'm not gonna lie. I got really emotional
Speaker 1: during the service and after because I won. I'm coming
Speaker 1: off my zoloft finally after five years, so we have withdrawals.
Speaker 1: But two All week I had been like running and
Speaker 1: anxious and like doing stuff and moving from here to
Speaker 1: there with the kid and my dad and all that.
Speaker 1: And I had not had any quiet reflection time. And
Speaker 1: there was something really special about the like being in
Speaker 1: that environment because it invites you. I'm not telling anyone
Speaker 1: listening anything new, probably about church, like did you know
Speaker 1: at church? Let me tell you something breaking what it
Speaker 1: might be teaching me because I don't know, Well, it's
Speaker 1: a quiet it's a quiet reflective I mean, full shit,
Speaker 1: never mind it my that church was not quiet, but
Speaker 1: it is a moment that invites reflection. Yeah, and the
Speaker 1: minute I started to reflect on what I had been
Speaker 1: going through that week and that day, And yes I
Speaker 1: thought about Beyonce tickets during it, but I try not
Speaker 1: to be too distract Yeah. Everything, and then and just
Speaker 1: the fact that I hadn't been to church in so long,
Speaker 1: and that I hadn't really gotten to embrace this part
Speaker 1: of my heritage and so long. And I'm just thinking
Speaker 1: about me as a baby going to churches like that.
Speaker 1: I was so shy and every time my dad would
Speaker 1: bring us to church, it would be like an event,
Speaker 1: like they would like, talk about us, stand up now
Speaker 1: in the back. Who you got back there, Amanda? And
Speaker 1: I would be mortified. And I never felt comfortable in
Speaker 1: that space. So I started reflecting about all that. And
Speaker 1: I'm feeling very connected to Atlanta lately and Georgia and
Speaker 1: so anyway, Yeah, I got in my fields. And when
Speaker 1: I left church, I thought, this is when I let
Speaker 1: go and let God. So when I leave church, they
Speaker 1: will have figured out the Beyonce tickets, right, No, no, nothing,
Speaker 1: nothing had changed, and I had I was like, either
Speaker 1: going to have to fight it, like use more energy.
Speaker 1: I have three or four hours, so I'm ready trying
Speaker 1: to get to the show and like use that energy
Speaker 1: to fight it and get the tickets that I really wanted.
Speaker 1: But I was like, you know what, just give me stuff.
Speaker 1: Hubba offered me floor tickets, but no longer front row
Speaker 1: of the floor section. Now I was in the back.
Speaker 1: Oh god. So I took the ticket. I'm like, fine,
Speaker 1: I'm still gonna have a great time. I'll fight with
Speaker 1: them tomorrow. And I went and I had me a
Speaker 1: good ass time and it was so fun nice. I
Speaker 1: put together a little fit. Okay, all the girls were
Speaker 1: at the country Western stores. Let me tell you, we
Speaker 1: had those Mexicans work in hard, very western stores. Like
Speaker 1: it's Mexicans, Okay. When the rodeo alive? Right? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: oh for sure. And I'm sure there's another name for
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of the name. What do Mexicans
Speaker 1: call the rodeo? Like what their gauchos whatever, that whole
Speaker 1: Mexican cowboy thing like that. It's I guess it runs
Speaker 1: deep in Georgia, which makes sense. We have a huge,
Speaker 1: huge Mexican population in and around Atlanta. But I looked
Speaker 1: up the closest country Western store. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to get some real authentic shit every time me
Speaker 1: why every cowboy, Carter attendee, all the all the girls
Speaker 1: had the same idea. We all got on Google, found
Speaker 1: the same store and we bought the place out. They
Speaker 1: were I mean like there were no boots left, the
Speaker 1: hats where they were like those those girls were sweating
Speaker 1: running around trying to get what we needed, like and
Speaker 1: they were stressed. But tell me why Beyonce was blasting
Speaker 1: on the speakers. I knew. I was like, we were
Speaker 1: uplifting the local economy. This is amazing. Yes, And I
Speaker 1: got a cute got a cute little bit, got some boots,
Speaker 1: got a hat, had me as I loved that. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. Wait, somehow we got on that whole tangent
Speaker 1: when I was trying to ask you about your mini
Speaker 1: retirement and I have no idea how, but I had
Speaker 1: to get off my chest. So okay, so I went
Speaker 1: to Beyonce to what what's your what's your? What is
Speaker 1: the mini retirement update? How's it going?
Speaker 2: Is it?
Speaker 1: Has it started?
Speaker 2: So I am taking a break is gonna look a
Speaker 2: little bit different. Yeah, I can't. Well, yeah, there's going
Speaker 2: to be a break. And there's some stuff that I
Speaker 2: have to do with my kids, Like I'm taking my
Speaker 2: daughter next week to Columbia for a mommy daughter.
Speaker 1: Retreat, which one than the eleven year old.
Speaker 2: Yeah, uh huh. It's like a coming up age like bonding.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like the time where they start to
Speaker 2: rebel and kind of pull away, but like my you know,
Speaker 2: uh source to kind of like bring them back in
Speaker 2: and give you the resources that you need to have
Speaker 2: those conversations that are really hard to have or that
Speaker 2: you never knew how to have because like I didn't
Speaker 2: have a mom, so I didn't know how to have
Speaker 2: those kinds. I don't know how to have those kinds.
Speaker 2: M she left when I was five, and she was
Speaker 2: around like I would go there like during holidays or whatever,
Speaker 2: but she, you know, she wasn't a mom. You know
Speaker 2: a lot of people, there's a lot of people that
Speaker 2: don't really want to be moms, but they have kids
Speaker 2: because but it's a whole different situations. Like Dad's like
Speaker 2: you have you can you can parent, you can have kids,
Speaker 2: but you don't know how to parent. It was like
Speaker 2: one of those situations, so you know, all of this
Speaker 2: stuff about parenting like like just kind of flying. But
Speaker 2: you know, I'm just taking along. I believe me, Mandy,
Speaker 2: I'm trying, but.
Speaker 1: A good mom. I'm not the best. I didn't say
Speaker 1: you were the best and said you were such a
Speaker 1: good mom. Yeah, I'm trying.
Speaker 2: I'm trying, like every day, like I'm trying so doing that,
Speaker 2: just taking time, just being with the kids because they
Speaker 2: need me. I can't get this time back and I
Speaker 2: don't have a defined time, but I'm taking some time.
Speaker 2: It just looks a little bit different. Like I really
Speaker 2: wanted to take the kids to like Costa Rica and
Speaker 2: like really explore and like do some world schooling, but
Speaker 2: my daddy was like I can't do that, And I
Speaker 2: was like fine because I'm not because he's really a
Speaker 2: good cull parent and I'm not trying to mess up
Speaker 2: the relationship up.
Speaker 1: So you know, I had to give a little bit. Oh,
Speaker 1: I understand, you know, I that's really tough. It's even
Speaker 1: being in Georgia with my two year old for a
Speaker 1: week and having my husband up here. I like I
Speaker 1: felt the type of way about him like it was weird.
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to see when I was
Speaker 1: trying to FaceTime my five year old and like he
Speaker 1: wasn't like enriy Kue wasn't my husband wasn't available. Mind you,
Speaker 1: we're still married, we're together. And I was like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean You're keeping my son from me? You're
Speaker 1: keeping my child, I my time, you know, and you
Speaker 1: like even you know, even so I can't even imagine,
Speaker 1: you know, if that was you know, our forever reality.
Speaker 1: So I am sad because I think the last time
Speaker 1: you were on the show, you really like, you know,
Speaker 1: you had your ideal of what you wanted the many
Speaker 1: retirement to look like. But that's some real, real shit. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was some like like come to Jesus, like listen,
Speaker 2: like you can't move like that because that's not your reality.
Speaker 2: And you know, I was like, okay, well it's not
Speaker 2: gonna work out like I thought it would, because like
Speaker 2: I thought, like I guess, I thought I had communicated
Speaker 2: it better and I thought we had the conversation and
Speaker 2: even if we did, like at that point, he wasn't
Speaker 2: ready for that. And I was like, well, what do
Speaker 2: you do? Like I can't sacrifice this relationship. He's worried
Speaker 2: about putting a strain on a relationship with this kid,
Speaker 2: with the kids, you know.
Speaker 1: So I'm just like, that's very fair, knowingly so, but okay, fine,
Speaker 1: right right when they care to be involved, exactly, it's
Speaker 1: double edged or it's like, you know, you want them
Speaker 1: to be involved, but then they're involved and say you
Speaker 1: have to deal with It's not a dictatorship, No, it's not. So.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's all gonna work out for
Speaker 2: the good. Like it, everything always works out, So I
Speaker 2: don't have any bad feelings about it. It just looks
Speaker 2: different and it's not as like planned out as I
Speaker 2: thought it would be by this point. But it's all
Speaker 2: coming together. Everything is falling into place, and I'm just
Speaker 2: excited for what's to come.
Speaker 1: I think that's a word. Especially as moms, we're so unfree.
Speaker 1: It's so you know, how you try to have like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful day, it's a nice sunset, let's pack
Speaker 1: the kids up and go to the park and just enjoy.
Speaker 1: There's no such thing is a simple choice, you know,
Speaker 1: even if you can plan for days and weeks and
Speaker 1: then the reality of it, of the complications and the
Speaker 1: people involved can quickly jerk you in a direction you
Speaker 1: never wanted to be in or complicate everything, and so
Speaker 1: I just I really appreciate you for sharing that, And
Speaker 1: also I think it's a good just for anyone who's
Speaker 1: thinking about the way that retirement will look for them,
Speaker 1: or the way that their career will look for them,
Speaker 1: and the vision that they have for you know, I
Speaker 1: hear all the time, I'm gonna work really really hard
Speaker 1: until I'm forty five, and then I'm gonna take you know,
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna go retire early, and
Speaker 1: it's going to look a certain way. But life has
Speaker 1: other plans sometimes. And does that mean that we're going
Speaker 1: to give up the hope and the goal of getting
Speaker 1: that time for rest and for like you said, like
Speaker 1: you know, educating your girls globally and really exposing them
Speaker 1: to a lot of the world and you know, to
Speaker 1: teach all the learnings and teachings that you wanted to
Speaker 1: give them. Like that can still happen. There's still time
Speaker 1: for it, but maybe it's a week here, a couple
Speaker 1: of months there, or whatever, you know, patched together. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So what does that mean for you? Job wise? Are
Speaker 1: you able to. I mean, you're a nurse, so you're
Speaker 1: you have like forever job security in that sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be okay, Like, like the job is still
Speaker 2: there for right now, it's just looks more like me
Speaker 2: taking a break, but it's still it's still there. So
Speaker 2: I'm trying to take it like in increments of what
Speaker 2: that's going to look like, if like when I'm going
Speaker 2: to go back, or how it's going to look when
Speaker 2: I go back. You know, I still have other stuff
Speaker 2: going on, like when you date to one that's across
Speaker 2: the country from you. You know, all of that stuff
Speaker 2: has a role to play, and like how I'm gonna move.
Speaker 2: So I'm just taking my time, letting things kind of
Speaker 2: play out and then I just know it'll work out
Speaker 2: as it's supposed to be. But like I said, like
Speaker 2: it's not as defined as I thought it would be
Speaker 2: at this point, and that's okay because it's still is
Speaker 2: still all good.
Speaker 1: It's still working out. We're still moving into rows. We're
Speaker 1: obsessed with you. I want to I love the idea
Speaker 1: of I mean, how beautiful is that to take? How
Speaker 1: long You're going to be in Columbia with your eldest
Speaker 1: for a week one week. Mm hmm. That's incredible. I
Speaker 1: mean I wonder how many parents like this is what
Speaker 1: the money is for in a way, like to do
Speaker 1: a retreat like this. Yeah, especially like the way you said,
Speaker 1: at a time when they're like she's becoming a little
Speaker 1: preteen and all the changes and ugh, that's really really special.
Speaker 1: And who hosts it is it's like a like is
Speaker 1: it for mothers and daughters specifically?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's a mommy and me retreat is specifically
Speaker 2: for that. It's the girls have to be a certain
Speaker 2: age to participate, like it's in the they have certain
Speaker 2: ceremonies that they do, like it's all planned out, like
Speaker 2: the retreat space is just for us.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2: So I'm looking forward to it because it's like during
Speaker 2: the time. Yeah, it's like during the time when you know,
Speaker 2: you know, they're in they're they're in their preteen they're
Speaker 2: tweens and or teenage years, and they're starting to pull
Speaker 2: away and that relationship is starting to become afraid and
Speaker 2: I'm starting to feel that. I started to feel that,
Speaker 2: and I was just like I don't want that for us,
Speaker 2: but you know, but not knowing how to navigate that
Speaker 2: situation either it's kind of hard, so it's like right
Speaker 2: on time.
Speaker 1: So I'm looking forward to it. So are these like
Speaker 1: parenting like are they a therapists or pediatricians? Like what's
Speaker 1: is it just not.
Speaker 2: You know what? Certification wise, I'm not a hundred percent sure,
Speaker 2: but I know that they've been doing these retreats for
Speaker 2: a while and have like some strong testimonies from it,
Speaker 2: and so like, yeah, I'm not I'm not caught up
Speaker 2: on like certifications and all that kind of stuff, but
Speaker 2: I do go off of energy and vibes, and you know,
Speaker 2: the energy is like where I needed to be and
Speaker 2: what I need, the space that I need my daughter
Speaker 2: to be in.
Speaker 1: So as someone who has zero certifications police, I am
Speaker 1: not all looking to judge or even like I don't
Speaker 1: think that's even what matters. I think the testimonies, like
Speaker 1: you said, is amazing. I'm just really curious.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful, that's a beautiful like business to have. Costa Rica. Well,
Speaker 1: I hope you guys have the best thing. Colombia. Colombia. Oh, Colombia,
Speaker 1: that's right, Colombia. Confused, Oh, I hope you're the best
Speaker 1: time ever. Even though I missed my five year old
Speaker 1: so much. It was nice because two year old Remy
Speaker 1: as a daddy's boy and a boy. I mean, if
Speaker 1: Daddy's around Mommy gets the he will shove me in
Speaker 1: my face to get me out of the way. I'm
Speaker 1: not getting I'm like yeah, And that's why I decided
Speaker 1: to take him. I could have taken either, you know.
Speaker 1: The idea was just you know, I'll take one, and
Speaker 1: I was like, no, let's let's recalibrate a little bit.
Speaker 1: Daddy and Rion need to have some time Mommy and
Speaker 1: the baby. I need to remind this. I need to
Speaker 1: remind him who he you know, like who actually burst
Speaker 1: him into this world? Right, Like, yeah, he gave me
Speaker 1: a run for my money, honey, he is in the town.
Speaker 1: He was bad.
Speaker 2: Oh bit god, Oh mine too. And she is very
Speaker 2: vocal too, and.
Speaker 1: So much more vocal than big brother was. Big Brother
Speaker 1: had a speech to lay till about three thirty three
Speaker 1: and a half three thirty three and a half, and meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Remy is like, he will tell you exactly. He sings songs,
Speaker 1: he repeats everything I say, and he tells me everything
Speaker 1: he wants and doesn't want. And it's like.
Speaker 2: Telling you that they went poop again in their diaper
Speaker 2: instead of being the toilet.
Speaker 1: I want to take a quick break and I want
Speaker 1: to come back. We got some buzzworthy to talk about.
Speaker 1: We're going to do brown Boost Brown Break. I also
Speaker 1: want to tell BA Fam about our book club pick
Speaker 1: and how you can join our first author speaker series
Speaker 1: for the BA book Club. So stick around, BA Fam.
Speaker 1: We're going to be right back and again. I'm joined
Speaker 1: by Nasima McElroy financially intentional da back all right, va Fam,
Speaker 1: I'm back. Nasima had to go because she is a
Speaker 1: busy woman. So I am here writing solo for one
Speaker 1: of the best parts of my week, which is getting
Speaker 1: an opportunity to reflect and either take a brown boost
Speaker 1: or a brown break. Now I done told y'all every
Speaker 1: it Well, Actually no, I haven't, because I could have
Speaker 1: talked for hours and hours more about the Beyonce Show
Speaker 1: Atlanta Night three. Baby, we really did it. Like Beyonce,
Speaker 1: we are her faves. She loves Atlanta. She said we
Speaker 1: were best dressed. It was incredible. Not only did I
Speaker 1: have an incredible time of the show. After the show,
Speaker 1: I'm walking, I'm just like flying. I'm like Hi on
Speaker 1: the vibes of the Beyonce concert. Also, I might actually
Speaker 1: have been high because the number of people who were
Speaker 1: toking up in my row, like in the floor seats,
Speaker 1: the contact high it could have been. It might have
Speaker 1: been Beyonce. It could have been the fact that jay
Speaker 1: Z was a surprise guest on night three. It could
Speaker 1: have been the Cutwater Margarita that I had waiting in
Speaker 1: line before I got to the show. Like who knows,
Speaker 1: But I was feeling good after the show, and I'm
Speaker 1: standing on the street corner outside of Mercedes Benz Arena
Speaker 1: and they have all these streets blocked off. It's everyone's
Speaker 1: kind of like, kind of milling about. No one knows
Speaker 1: where the hell we are, even though a lot of
Speaker 1: us are from Atlanta. I'm like, why is this city
Speaker 1: so damn confusing? Where are the street signs? Where are
Speaker 1: they all crooked? Damn? But I'm standing there trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where I'm going to meet? My dad is
Speaker 1: picking me up and tell me why. I hear screams
Speaker 1: and I look to my left and I see this
Speaker 1: black suv and the most gorgeous face and the most
Speaker 1: gorgeous face. Can I say that again? The most gorgeous
Speaker 1: face I'll ever see in the window, like eight inches
Speaker 1: of window is cracked down, and I see Beyonce and
Speaker 1: she is there. She is smiling, she's waving, and Julius
Speaker 1: is in the front seat, and she turns the corner.
Speaker 1: I'm right here. I'm around the corner. She turns the corner.
Speaker 1: I run around a park car because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get to wave to Beyonce. She's right there.
Speaker 1: I run around the park car. By the time I
Speaker 1: get there and she crosses my path, her window is
Speaker 1: going it's pretty much up and Julius. Julius is like
Speaker 1: hanging out the window, mean mugging. He is like looking
Speaker 1: at that crowd, like I wish yall would try to
Speaker 1: run up on this suv right now. I just know
Speaker 1: he was scary. But I waved, and I'm just hoping.
Speaker 1: I know she had the window up. It was tinted
Speaker 1: within an inch of its life. But I hope she
Speaker 1: saw me waving. I hope she saw the outfit that
Speaker 1: I was wearing. I worked really hard on my fit.
Speaker 1: I was joking that I try to look sexy and
Speaker 1: like wear the black on black. A lot of the
Speaker 1: girls were wearing the black on black, you know, cowboy
Speaker 1: hat and the black outfit. But I just I'm wearing
Speaker 1: a black two shirt right now, and I really don't
Speaker 1: want to be I'm not gonna lie. I don't have
Speaker 1: any clean clothes after coming home from Georgia, but I don't.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't give me life. I wanted sparkle, I
Speaker 1: want it pink. So that's the vibe I went with.
Speaker 1: And I really tried to put my all into my outfit,
Speaker 1: and it was so gratifying that just to know that
Speaker 1: maybe Beyonce saw it. But then I wasn't even able
Speaker 1: to be too disappointed. After her, she passed by and
Speaker 1: her window was up because the next suv rolled by,
Speaker 1: and the second most beautiful face in the world, Blue
Speaker 1: Ivy Carter, is in the window and she's waving, and
Speaker 1: right behind her is baby's sis Roomy. I just, matter
Speaker 1: of fact, by the way, they have their own suv,
Speaker 1: so I know Jay was in the suv with Beyonce then,
Speaker 1: which means maybe Ja, but Jay was probably not even looking.
Speaker 1: But Beyonce rolls by then Blue Ivy and Roomy and
Speaker 1: then they passed by, and then who is it? Number three?
Speaker 1: Mama Tina, Mama. I don't know who she was riding with,
Speaker 1: but Mama Tina had her phone out and she was recording.
Speaker 1: And when she passed by me, I was like, Mama Tina,
Speaker 1: and I swear we made eye contact, and I was like,
Speaker 1: she's recording. I wonder if she's gonna upload it, then
Speaker 1: tell me why. I get on IG the next morning
Speaker 1: and the first thing I see is Mama Tina uploaded
Speaker 1: that video and there I am, my happy ass on
Speaker 1: the street corner, waving like a fool. Martina's just so amazing.
Speaker 1: And I'm just saying, Beyonce and the Carter family, Y'll
Speaker 1: owe me absolutely nothing. I spent seven hundred hard earned
Speaker 1: dollars on that show, and I would spend it again.
Speaker 1: Not to mention what I spent in London doesn't even matter.
Speaker 1: Maybe my brown boosh is just gonna be. This is
Speaker 1: what the money is for. Find you in experience like
Speaker 1: the one that Find you in experience that brings you
Speaker 1: as much joy as Beyonce's shows do for me, and
Speaker 1: then do everything you can to experience listings again. So
Speaker 1: if that's a sporting event, if it's going the US Open,
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl, like, I don't know what are y'all
Speaker 1: into out there. If whatever that thing is that lights
Speaker 1: you up, that becomes your reason why. It becomes so
Speaker 1: much easier to say no to everything else that could
Speaker 1: distract you from your goals financially when you know what
Speaker 1: you were striving for. And for me, it's like okay, kids, health, family,
Speaker 1: and then Beyonce tickets, like that's the north start for
Speaker 1: me forever and always. All right, but let me do
Speaker 1: a real bron boot brown break. I'm gonna do a
Speaker 1: break for let me look this up really quick because
Speaker 1: dad da dada, Oh right, fine, I'm like Black women's
Speaker 1: equal paydays last week was last week, and I know
Speaker 1: everybody wants me to be depressed about it and talk
Speaker 1: about how black women have to work an extra seventy
Speaker 1: eleven hundred days in order to earn what a mediocre
Speaker 1: white man earns. But like I said on Instagram, like
Speaker 1: I'm really not too pressed. I don't want to spend
Speaker 1: too much time covering headlines like that because Okay, it's
Speaker 1: important to know that that's still happening, but also like
Speaker 1: it's irrelevant to us, like ba fam, it's irrelevant to us.
Speaker 1: You're listening to the show, you're listening to me, You're
Speaker 1: getting your career, getting your negotiation advice, you're getting your
Speaker 1: money together. It's almost too relevant to us what the
Speaker 1: norm is for women of color because we're not the norm. Like,
Speaker 1: we're here gathering in this space that Brown Ambition has
Speaker 1: offered us and created for us. And why I made
Speaker 1: this space for us, you know, ten years ago with Tiffany,
Speaker 1: is because we are here to help ourselves and you
Speaker 1: become exceptions to the rule. So although statistics like this
Speaker 1: very much exist, and I know women of color, like
Speaker 1: I know that we are out here and we are struggling.
Speaker 1: And if you're a black woman, you're earning something like
Speaker 1: fifty something cents to the dollar of a white person,
Speaker 1: a white male, And if you're a Latina it's even
Speaker 1: less than that, is it fifty cents? I know that
Speaker 1: if you're a black woman you're earning something like sixty
Speaker 1: cents or seventy cents to the dollar of a white man.
Speaker 1: If you're a Latina, it's even worse. Listen, I know
Speaker 1: that at the same time, we are here to create
Speaker 1: exceptions to those rules. We are not here to internalize
Speaker 1: data points like that. In fact, almost to a certain extent,
Speaker 1: I wish we would stop giving them as much press
Speaker 1: as we do. I want people in decision making positions,
Speaker 1: you know, at businesses and on Capitol Hill. I want
Speaker 1: them to understand the pay inequality gap. I want them
Speaker 1: to understand that black and brown women are chronically underpaid
Speaker 1: compared to our white counterparts. It's important for y'all to
Speaker 1: understand that it's not important for me to dwell on that.
Speaker 1: It's not important for you and me to dwell on that,
Speaker 1: and to steep and stew in that feeling that I
Speaker 1: think a capitalistic society really benefits from us feeling, which
Speaker 1: is as if this is the only path for us,
Speaker 1: this is the only outcome. That because the average is
Speaker 1: such and such, then we have to expect that or
Speaker 1: even less, or if we get a little bit above
Speaker 1: that average or even hit that average, that we should
Speaker 1: be grateful because this is the average for everyone. So well,
Speaker 1: we got here, so I guess we're doing okay. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: you're listening to brown ambition and the ambitious part of
Speaker 1: our nature. The reason why we created this show when
Speaker 1: we did ten years ago is because we are embracing
Speaker 1: the fact that the status quo, the norm, does not
Speaker 1: have to be our reality, and that it is okay.
Speaker 1: It is safe even and I want to say that
Speaker 1: it is safe for us to expect more from ourselves.
Speaker 1: It is safe, and it is possible for us to
Speaker 1: expect more for ourselves and for us to create the
Speaker 1: exceptions to the damn rules. So thank you BA Fan
Speaker 1: for listening to this week's episode of Brown Ambition, Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening to the Brown Table. Thanks for giving me
Speaker 1: this platform. I could not do it without you, and
Speaker 1: I want to hear from you. You can leave me
Speaker 1: a comment, you can leave me a review. You can
Speaker 1: also just email me directly. I'm at Brown Ambition Podcast
Speaker 1: on Instagram. You can also email me Brown Ambition Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. You can join our Patreon don't
Speaker 1: forget Patreon. You can join as an unpaid member and
Speaker 1: I'll drop in some previews of upcoming shows and I'll
Speaker 1: talk to y'all in the little chat. But oh, you
Speaker 1: can also join the book club. Brian Ambishon has a
Speaker 1: book club. John know that. And our first pick of
Speaker 1: the summer was this little gem right here, got it
Speaker 1: right here Cibo Campbell Sky Full of Elephants, Meanwhile, this
Speaker 1: is the most overdue library book in the in the
Speaker 1: history of man. Okay, it's not that overdue. I got
Speaker 1: to get the real hard copy though. But we're reading
Speaker 1: Sky Full of Elephants by Cebo Campbell. And if you're
Speaker 1: in the Patreon, you don't have to be a paid
Speaker 1: member to join the book club. Anybody can join the
Speaker 1: book club, but do join the patreon because when I
Speaker 1: have Cebo, he's coming to the book club in the
Speaker 1: next week or two. So you have to be in
Speaker 1: the patreon if you want to get a free invite
Speaker 1: and a free ticket to that author series, author Q
Speaker 1: and a that I'm going to do with Cibo himself.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to talk about this book. If you
Speaker 1: haven't read yet, there's still time y'all can catch up.
Speaker 1: So go to patreon, dot co dot com, lash Brown Ambition,
Speaker 1: check the show notes. It's in there somewhere. You can
Speaker 1: join the Patreon and then please join us when we
Speaker 1: bring Sebo into the patreons, we can have a little
Speaker 1: chit chat. But his incredible novel and what comes next?
Speaker 1: All right, ba fam, I am Mandy Money. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: leave it there. Continue to have a wonderful summer. Thank
Speaker 1: you again for all the support for the show, sending
Speaker 1: all lots of love. Bye okay Va fam. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for listening to this week's show. I want
Speaker 1: to shout out to our production team, Courtney, our editor, Carla,
Speaker 1: our fearless leader for idea to launch productions. I want
Speaker 1: to shout out my assistant Lauda Escalante and Cameron McNair
Speaker 1: for helping me put the show together. It is not
Speaker 1: a one person project, as much as I have tried
Speaker 1: to make it so these past ten years. I need help, y'all,
Speaker 1: and thank goodness I've been able to put this team
Speaker 1: around me to support me on this journey and to
Speaker 1: y'all bea fam. I love you so so so so much.
Speaker 1: Please rate, review, subscribe, make sure your sign up to
Speaker 1: the newsletter to get all the latest updates on upcoming episodes,
Speaker 1: our tenth year anniversary celebrations to come, and until next time,
Speaker 1: talk to you soon via buye