WEBVTT - Featuring Kesha

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, guys, It's Sammy J. And for this episode, we

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<v Speaker 1>talked to Kesha. I was really excited for this interview,

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<v Speaker 1>but I also didn't know what to expect going into it.

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<v Speaker 1>At the end, I realized that we are soul sisters.

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<v Speaker 1>We talked about so much. We talked about her philosophy

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<v Speaker 1>and life, positivity, going through hard times, her new album

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<v Speaker 1>High Road, her makeup Blank keshro Is Beauty, and much more.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a really interesting conversation and I hope you enjoyed.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys. Kesh is on this week's episode of my podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>I am so excited you are here. I'm so excited

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<v Speaker 1>to be talking to you. I'm so impressed. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I've admired you for so long, not just because you're

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<v Speaker 1>songwriting skills, but just because if you're honesty and you're

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<v Speaker 1>just so candid about everything, and it's very refreshing. Thanks.

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<v Speaker 1>I I think that the culture right now is so

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<v Speaker 1>I was just thinking about this when I was home.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like going in my head in circles about it.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to be as open as possible, but then

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so scared I'm gonna say one stupid thing and

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<v Speaker 1>the whole world canceled or whatever. The cancel culture that's

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<v Speaker 1>such a thing now, so I want to be as

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<v Speaker 1>open as possible. But it's kind of also terrifying. It's

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<v Speaker 1>terrified because you say one stupid thing, which I do

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. Everybody says stupids just being human exactly,

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<v Speaker 1>but then you get canceled. I just started canceling. I

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<v Speaker 1>think they should cancel a canceled culture. I agree with that. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to talk to you about a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>things today. I want to start just with your new album,

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<v Speaker 1>high Road. I'm so excited. How long did it take

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<v Speaker 1>you to make this album? Um? Some of the songs

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<v Speaker 1>I've been working on since before Rainbow came out, there

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<v Speaker 1>actually songs I wanted to put on Rainbow, but I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't have really the space, and I wanted to save

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<v Speaker 1>them for a lighter time. Like I really wanted Rainbow

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<v Speaker 1>to be a specific thing. I had a really specific

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<v Speaker 1>idea for what I wanted Rainbow to be. So there

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<v Speaker 1>were some songs that I just kind of felt it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't the right time and place, So I kept in

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<v Speaker 1>my back. Because I'm a songwriter, I've written so many songs,

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<v Speaker 1>so I was like, I'm going to save this for

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<v Speaker 1>after this album. And so this record, you know, four

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<v Speaker 1>years some of the songs and then some of them

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still finishing. Really, So how fast is a turnaround

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<v Speaker 1>for a song? Would you say, Oh, it can be

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<v Speaker 1>anywhere from like a song on my first record, I

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<v Speaker 1>think I had written on and off for like six years,

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<v Speaker 1>So it could be anywhere from six years to one day.

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<v Speaker 1>Would you say your perfectionist with Seth, I'm like O. C. D.

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<v Speaker 1>When it comes to arn't really. Yeah. So the this

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<v Speaker 1>record coming out High Road and Rainbow, I got to

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<v Speaker 1>executive produce, so I got to pick every song. I

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<v Speaker 1>got to write every song, I got to pick every

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<v Speaker 1>drum sound, I got to pick every good guitar tone,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just I also don't really care as much

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<v Speaker 1>if people like it or dislike it, because I'm proud

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<v Speaker 1>of it. Yeah. Is that how you define success? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>For me, I think it's been a learning process of

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<v Speaker 1>how to define success, And for me, it's if I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I was as honest as I could be

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<v Speaker 1>and as connected to the truth as I can be,

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<v Speaker 1>and if that's happening. And also with my new record,

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<v Speaker 1>I really want to make my fans happy because they've

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<v Speaker 1>been through it with me. We've gone on a long tumu,

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<v Speaker 1>very tumultuous road. That's looks great about your music. It's

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<v Speaker 1>a journey. It's not just like album just for music.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like you can see your progression as an artist,

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<v Speaker 1>which is the coolest thing. Thank you. And like, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even you're probably if you're seventeen. You were seven

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<v Speaker 1>when TikTok came out. That sounds about right. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>like just crazy to me that like you would even

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<v Speaker 1>know the progression of me as an artist because you're

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<v Speaker 1>so young. But that's so impressive that you've probably heard

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<v Speaker 1>Animal I hope. But even if you haven't, if high

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<v Speaker 1>Road is the first record you hear from me, hopefully

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<v Speaker 1>you'll get the broad scope of who I am as

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<v Speaker 1>a human and artist. So after people listen to High Road,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you want them to take away from it?

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<v Speaker 1>I think that the number one thing is you can

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<v Speaker 1>go through things in life that are difficult and come

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<v Speaker 1>out on the other side and reclaim your happiness and

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<v Speaker 1>find your joy and I feel like yourself and it

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<v Speaker 1>might be something you'll never truly get over, but that's okay,

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<v Speaker 1>and you can grow from the pain and make art

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<v Speaker 1>out of it, and I think it's so difficult to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Though it is difficult, but it also heartbreak creates great

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<v Speaker 1>art in my opinion, So even if it's any kind

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<v Speaker 1>of heartbreak, you know, yeah, I mean I think you

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<v Speaker 1>know it's your album's called high Road. Is that why

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<v Speaker 1>you chose to name it that? It's actually a little

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<v Speaker 1>play on words. So after I put out Praying for

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<v Speaker 1>my last record, I thought people would really expect me

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<v Speaker 1>to be taking the high road on like in all

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<v Speaker 1>case scenarios. But sorry, dad, But the song high Road

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<v Speaker 1>itself is actually about there are all these things on

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<v Speaker 1>social media that used to just get to me and

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<v Speaker 1>like be so grating and would really affect me. And

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<v Speaker 1>now it's legal here, but now I just get stoned

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<v Speaker 1>and laugh about it, and I really try not to

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<v Speaker 1>let it affect me, which is more difficult than just

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<v Speaker 1>saying that. But like, that's what the song is about,

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<v Speaker 1>is just being like, I'm just gonna get high and

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<v Speaker 1>laugh at this because it's so petty. Well, for those

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<v Speaker 1>who don't know, we are actually recording this episode where

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<v Speaker 1>you recorded Praying Yes in the studio. In the studio,

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<v Speaker 1>this is so this studio must mean just a lot

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<v Speaker 1>to you. Yeah, I've recorded. I recorded with Alice Cooper

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<v Speaker 1>in the studio. I recorded praying in the studio. We've

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<v Speaker 1>recorded a lot of stuff in the studio. The engineer

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<v Speaker 1>who's here with us today is like he's recorded a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of the songs that he could probably remember more

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<v Speaker 1>than that that we recorded here. But we've recorded tons

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<v Speaker 1>of stuff in here. Wow. I think this album of

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<v Speaker 1>yours I personally love because I think it's very eclectic

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<v Speaker 1>and there are so many different styles in one song,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, So what is the process for you for

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<v Speaker 1>just eating a song? For this record, it was different

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<v Speaker 1>than ever before because, like for Rainbow, I had a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of emotional baggage to sort through, and on this record,

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<v Speaker 1>I really wanted to allow myself to move forward in

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<v Speaker 1>my life. Like I said, never get over something, but

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<v Speaker 1>allow myself to move forward in trying to find and

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<v Speaker 1>reclaim my voice and my joy and my happiness and

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<v Speaker 1>all of those things. And I just realized I really

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<v Speaker 1>didn't want to have any expectations for myself. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>want to have to adhere to any boundaries or genres,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just wanted to, like purely funk around and

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<v Speaker 1>see what happened. And good. That's because I'll be listening

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<v Speaker 1>to Run the Jewels, and then I'll be listening to Queen,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I'll be listening to Cardi B. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>like all different kinds of influences that make me happy.

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<v Speaker 1>But I just wanted to make my fans really really happy.

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<v Speaker 1>And you put that in all just one album, because

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, why not. It's also it's my personality, so

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<v Speaker 1>why not put it all on one true Do you

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<v Speaker 1>have a favorite song off the album? I think today

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<v Speaker 1>my favorite song off the album is Resentment. But I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just like so excited. It's a beautiful song. And you

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<v Speaker 1>have a lot of collaborations on this album. Brian Wilson

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<v Speaker 1>just a classic, well just iconic legend god himself. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm obsessed with pet Sounds and I think that he's

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<v Speaker 1>one of the most brilliant minds music has ever seen.

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<v Speaker 1>So for him to even like know that I exist

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<v Speaker 1>on the planet Earth is insane. And let alone do

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<v Speaker 1>a song because for me, like recording with an artist

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<v Speaker 1>or working with an artist, or collaborating and just taking

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<v Speaker 1>the time to spend time with each other on a

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<v Speaker 1>piece of art together. That's the highest form of respect

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<v Speaker 1>in my book. Yeah, and just like have him have

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<v Speaker 1>anything to do with me on any levels just insanity.

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<v Speaker 1>And also Stirgill Simpson is like a dream come true.

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<v Speaker 1>And then a really close friend of mine and collaborator,

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<v Speaker 1>an amazing songwriter, Ray Ball, is on there. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>just like this dream team of some of my favorite

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<v Speaker 1>human beings on the earth, even people that you've looked

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<v Speaker 1>up to for years since I was like a child,

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<v Speaker 1>So how long have you been writing music? Like, were

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<v Speaker 1>you like writing poetry as a kid and you didn't

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<v Speaker 1>even know what re turnto music? Or was it a

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<v Speaker 1>later on things as you were a teenager. So my

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<v Speaker 1>mom's a songwriter and she wrote songs for Dolly Parton

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<v Speaker 1>and Johnny Cash. So I grew up always being around

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<v Speaker 1>studios and always being around songs. I would grow up

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<v Speaker 1>like being in the the sound booth while she was

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<v Speaker 1>observing it all. Yeah, and I always loved it. And

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<v Speaker 1>I would walk around singing and everyone would be like,

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<v Speaker 1>tell the kid to shut up. I were studying it

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<v Speaker 1>and you didn't even know it. And so then when

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<v Speaker 1>I went to like middle school, high school was total hell.

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<v Speaker 1>Like we're talking about earlier, school sucks and at least

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<v Speaker 1>from a social aspect, and really it's high school can

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<v Speaker 1>be hard, it can be really really hard it and

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't have the greatest time. I grew up in

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<v Speaker 1>the Bible Belt. There was a lot of closed mindedness, homophobia, racism,

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of that happening, and I just felt like,

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<v Speaker 1>like totally to get away from comfortable. I felt really

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<v Speaker 1>uncomfortable and very isolated and like total outcast and misfit

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<v Speaker 1>of school. And I just got like so made fun

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<v Speaker 1>of and never had a group of friends till I

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<v Speaker 1>moved to Los Angeles and I found people that kind

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<v Speaker 1>of understood me. But that's when I started writing songs.

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<v Speaker 1>Is when I just started having this outsider feeling. I

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<v Speaker 1>just always felt like I was outside of everything, especially

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<v Speaker 1>at school. I can relate to that. It's a hard feeling.

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<v Speaker 1>It sucks, it really sucks, but if you can use

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<v Speaker 1>it and channel it and help create your dreams by

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<v Speaker 1>just being like, Okay, I'm not going to focus on

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<v Speaker 1>the pettiness that's happening at school. I'm an focus on

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<v Speaker 1>where I want to go and what i want to be,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm going to let this help drive me. That's

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<v Speaker 1>how I took it, and it seems like you're doing

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<v Speaker 1>the same thing I'm trying. It's hard, though. What would

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<v Speaker 1>you say to your younger self, you're seventeen year old self,

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<v Speaker 1>I would say, don't be so hard on yourself and

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<v Speaker 1>it's all going to be okay. Man, it's like you're

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<v Speaker 1>talking to me. I can feel that we are kindred spirits.

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<v Speaker 1>I agree, and I just like know how that feels

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<v Speaker 1>to be in school and not feel like you're being

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<v Speaker 1>seen or understood or belonging. And it's just like a

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<v Speaker 1>really it makes you feel bad about yourself. It's so

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<v Speaker 1>very demoralizing and I and I hate that for anybody

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<v Speaker 1>who's going through it. But I will say, you can

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<v Speaker 1>get out of town and create a whole life that

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<v Speaker 1>is perfectly for you, and it does get better. I

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<v Speaker 1>know it sounds so cheesy, but like once you follow

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<v Speaker 1>your dreams, it gets better and more comfortable. It's hard

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<v Speaker 1>to remember in the moment. Have you ever seen the

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<v Speaker 1>musical Deer of Van Hanson? I have not. Okay, if

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<v Speaker 1>you like, you know, I will write it down. I

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<v Speaker 1>will take now, just listen to the like the album

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<v Speaker 1>you can listen to it, you will like connect with

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<v Speaker 1>it because we we like you were on the same

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<v Speaker 1>level here, like listen to that, like you we're blown away.

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<v Speaker 1>I won't. I won't. It's gonna be great, is it?

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<v Speaker 1>What's it about? It's about UM, a high school kid

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<v Speaker 1>with anxiety and he goes into the new school. We are.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a very dark subject. It deals with like suicide

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<v Speaker 1>and love and all this and that. But it's about I,

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<v Speaker 1>at least I took away from because it is a

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<v Speaker 1>very depressing musical. Just coming out on the other side

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<v Speaker 1>of it and inspiring. And I think you know, through

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<v Speaker 1>your music you really channel just the positivity. And I'm

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<v Speaker 1>actually really interested with your philosophy and positivity because it's

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<v Speaker 1>hard to UM, it's hard to forgive and it's hard

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<v Speaker 1>to move on, especially with the positive mindset. How do

0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:06.640
<v Speaker 1>you do that? UM? I can't say that I'm perfect

0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:10.199
<v Speaker 1>at it, Like you know, when I'm talking with people,

0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.480
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I want to be this perfect role model, right,

0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:18.080
<v Speaker 1>But I struggle with forgiveness. It's hard sometimes because you

0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.840
<v Speaker 1>can forgive, but you don't forget what people do to

0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:22.480
<v Speaker 1>you or what they say to you. So it can

0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.040
<v Speaker 1>be really difficult to rebuild trust. That's what my song

0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Resentment is about, is you get resentments towards people and

0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:34.080
<v Speaker 1>unless you address them, they can really destroy relationships. And

0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.520
<v Speaker 1>I just try to always remember that I'm really really

0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:39.480
<v Speaker 1>lucky to get to do my dream as a job,

0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:41.760
<v Speaker 1>and it's not just my job, it's my life. And

0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.439
<v Speaker 1>I get to do things like this and meet other

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:49.080
<v Speaker 1>really talented, amazing people and talk about art as my

0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:52.199
<v Speaker 1>life and it's so cool. But like, this is your

0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.240
<v Speaker 1>job when you would be doing it even if it

0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:57.040
<v Speaker 1>wasn't be doing it if I was not getting paid

0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.280
<v Speaker 1>at time, exactly. But that's when you know when you

0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:02.400
<v Speaker 1>love something, Yeah, it's your dream. And when it comes

0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:04.480
<v Speaker 1>to fruition, I just try to live in the gratitude.

0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:07.560
<v Speaker 1>And then I also, just when I was going through

0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.160
<v Speaker 1>a really dark time a couple of years ago, there

0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.880
<v Speaker 1>were a lot of people total strangers that were really

0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:16.079
<v Speaker 1>really kind to me that I had never met before

0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 1>and had no reason to be nice to me. And

0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:22.400
<v Speaker 1>I just remember feeling so overwhelmed that I could just

0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:24.560
<v Speaker 1>still cry about it every time I think about it.

0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:26.960
<v Speaker 1>I just I'm like, these people had no reason to

0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:28.720
<v Speaker 1>be nice to me or there for me or supportive,

0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:31.400
<v Speaker 1>and they were, and I just want to be that

0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:34.640
<v Speaker 1>way towards other people. Yeah, kind of does so much,

0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:36.599
<v Speaker 1>like just the simplest thing because you don't know what

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.199
<v Speaker 1>everyone's going through. You have no idea what anyone is

0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:41.679
<v Speaker 1>going through. Yeah, like even someone that flips you off

0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:43.960
<v Speaker 1>in the car when you're driving, Like, of course I

0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:47.600
<v Speaker 1>get that initial reaction to be like fuck you, yeah

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.480
<v Speaker 1>like that, but then I'm like, Okay, you don't know

0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:54.200
<v Speaker 1>what they're going through. Just take a deep breath, turn

0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.280
<v Speaker 1>on some CARDI B. Everything's gonna be okay. You know,

0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:58.960
<v Speaker 1>there's actually a quote that I saw that I wanted

0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:00.720
<v Speaker 1>to tell you. I don't I don't know who it's by,

0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:02.920
<v Speaker 1>so if anyone knows, let me know. But it's anger

0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:06.160
<v Speaker 1>is a punishment we give ourselves for someone else's mistake.

0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.640
<v Speaker 1>And I never heard that. I was like, huh, it's

0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:14.079
<v Speaker 1>so true, right, Like it's a punishment we give ourselves.

0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.880
<v Speaker 1>It's like that feeling when for someone else's action and

0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 1>take it personally. Yeah, that's the thing. If you've ever

0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:21.680
<v Speaker 1>read The Four Agreements, and if not, it's a short,

0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:24.960
<v Speaker 1>awesome book and one of the four Agreements of life

0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:27.880
<v Speaker 1>is trying not to take things personally. So when people

0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 1>rude or mean or just like girls or bitches at school,

0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:35.520
<v Speaker 1>or you know, people have been caddy in the business

0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:37.680
<v Speaker 1>simon and I just try not to take it personally

0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 1>because everyone has their own insecurities and it's usually not

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:44.520
<v Speaker 1>coming from it's like projection. I've done a lot of

0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:48.160
<v Speaker 1>therapy around this stuff, but especially if I've ever been

0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:52.880
<v Speaker 1>jealous of someone in the past, I now realize that

0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.240
<v Speaker 1>it's just my own insecurities. So I try to go

0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 1>into all things in my career and just be like

0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:02.040
<v Speaker 1>hopeful and positive for every else. Because people were kind

0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:03.560
<v Speaker 1>to me when I needed it, so I just want

0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.640
<v Speaker 1>to be kind to people. I mean, I think that

0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:11.080
<v Speaker 1>definitely shows good hope. So because I feel changed by

0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:15.240
<v Speaker 1>the kindness I received, I felt like like taken aback

0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:19.400
<v Speaker 1>and realized the power it can have. Would you say

0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:23.640
<v Speaker 1>that others people kindness inspired you in your music? Yeah,

0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:27.320
<v Speaker 1>and inspired me to be a better person and not

0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:33.480
<v Speaker 1>feel especially in industries women are so much pitted against

0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:35.720
<v Speaker 1>each other, but also to support each other because there's

0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:39.320
<v Speaker 1>enough room for everybody. Exactly. It took the words in

0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:43.520
<v Speaker 1>my mouth and in entertainment but kind of it all

0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:47.000
<v Speaker 1>starts in like high school, and then in movies women

0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:49.760
<v Speaker 1>are fighting over a guy, and I just think it's

0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:52.680
<v Speaker 1>kind of set up. It's setting us up all wrong,

0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:56.720
<v Speaker 1>Like we should band together. There's room for everyone, and

0:15:56.800 --> 0:16:00.200
<v Speaker 1>it's not a competition. Life's not a competition. Like, I

0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.280
<v Speaker 1>just really want to be super supportive, especially of women

0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:07.200
<v Speaker 1>in this business, because that's what I received, and it

0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:11.000
<v Speaker 1>was shocking how like impactful that was, and it changed

0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:14.520
<v Speaker 1>my life. Okay, here's a question. Do you think you'd

0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:17.880
<v Speaker 1>ever write a musical? Hell, yeah, I actually thought about it.

0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.520
<v Speaker 1>You should do it on this topic. I was thinking

0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:24.040
<v Speaker 1>about that and just like the evolution of mankind and

0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:29.000
<v Speaker 1>where society is going and how kind of fucked. But yeah,

0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:33.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm like trying to stay hopeful. Yeah, like that's all

0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.280
<v Speaker 1>you can do at this point. It's all that you

0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:40.080
<v Speaker 1>can do, just especially with social issues. That's my main

0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:43.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, place of concern is just where we have

0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.720
<v Speaker 1>made progress. I just don't want to go backwards. And

0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I just see we're already starting. I've already yea And

0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.000
<v Speaker 1>you see it and you feel it and you want

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:56.840
<v Speaker 1>to fight against it. And I feel as if there's

0:16:56.920 --> 0:17:03.480
<v Speaker 1>just racism raging and home of obia raging and anti semitic,

0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:09.159
<v Speaker 1>like it's everywhere, just anybody you want to fill in

0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:12.280
<v Speaker 1>the blank. So I think it's just important to just

0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:17.000
<v Speaker 1>try to spread love as much as you can, positivity

0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.919
<v Speaker 1>and good good vibes, because that's all you can do

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.760
<v Speaker 1>at this point. You know, vote, vote, I'm actually going

0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:27.480
<v Speaker 1>to be voting in this the first first time. So important.

0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm so excited, just like I've been, Like, I'm taking

0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:33.360
<v Speaker 1>you as government class and a US history, so I'm

0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:37.080
<v Speaker 1>like extra educating myself, watch the news every so like

0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:39.560
<v Speaker 1>trying to like stay intact with it smart because you

0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:43.400
<v Speaker 1>learn what not to do from not repeating habits that

0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.600
<v Speaker 1>we have maybe done in the past and made mistakes

0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:49.480
<v Speaker 1>within no history, to not repeat history. Yeah, I kind

0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:51.199
<v Speaker 1>of did the same thing in high school. I studied

0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:54.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot of um. I studied could where history for fun.

0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:58.679
<v Speaker 1>I was studying religious history. I was obsessed. So was

0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:01.000
<v Speaker 1>history your favorite subject when you in scool? Did you

0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:03.679
<v Speaker 1>like anything? I liked it all, honestly, I really like

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:08.119
<v Speaker 1>That's like me. I love learning, but I hate the

0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:12.400
<v Speaker 1>other aspect of it. I hated like the rest all

0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.600
<v Speaker 1>of it, but I liked learning information because I feel

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:19.600
<v Speaker 1>like information does help you create a more educated decision

0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:21.560
<v Speaker 1>about who to be and how to act. And I'm

0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.439
<v Speaker 1>sure that affects your songwriting too. The more you know

0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:27.119
<v Speaker 1>on the topic, it can affect how the song sounds well,

0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:30.800
<v Speaker 1>especially just also knowing that when I first started out,

0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.119
<v Speaker 1>this was again ten years ago. I just want to

0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.680
<v Speaker 1>make people dance and shake their ass and I still,

0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:38.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's still a goal of mine. I still

0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:41.240
<v Speaker 1>want to make people a dance and have the best

0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:42.520
<v Speaker 1>night of their life when they come to a show

0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:45.320
<v Speaker 1>like that. But I just the more I've learned about

0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:50.960
<v Speaker 1>social progress and also going backwards, the more I want

0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.520
<v Speaker 1>to put messages and meaning and depth into not only

0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:56.760
<v Speaker 1>my music, but also give back in any way I can.

0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:59.040
<v Speaker 1>So all of a sudden, it's not just like this

0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:01.920
<v Speaker 1>total nurse assist being a famous person thing. It's also

0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:06.520
<v Speaker 1>utilizing your life platform and all of that. Well, I

0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:08.639
<v Speaker 1>think we have to talk about TikTok. I feel like

0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:11.000
<v Speaker 1>it would just be a shame, It would be it

0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:13.440
<v Speaker 1>would just be a shame if we didn't. How did

0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.480
<v Speaker 1>do you How did that song come about? And do

0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:18.600
<v Speaker 1>you realize it would be such a hit that it began. No,

0:19:19.200 --> 0:19:21.520
<v Speaker 1>you never know what's going to be a hit and

0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:24.400
<v Speaker 1>what's not. You really don't. You just write songs. Pray

0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.480
<v Speaker 1>for the best and that song actually, I remember writing

0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:30.040
<v Speaker 1>the lyrics and I was like, this is like it

0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:32.679
<v Speaker 1>was a joke. I was joking. I was like taking

0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:38.600
<v Speaker 1>the piss out of like life, and I wrote all

0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:42.160
<v Speaker 1>these different lyrics that were a lot deeper and more complicated,

0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:45.800
<v Speaker 1>and then I just wrote TikTok versus as literally a joke.

0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:50.200
<v Speaker 1>And then I remember somebody I was working with was

0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:52.560
<v Speaker 1>just like, just for fun, make it as dumb as

0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:56.800
<v Speaker 1>humanly possible the money, yeah, And I was like pedicures

0:19:56.800 --> 0:20:00.159
<v Speaker 1>on my test test and they're like, that's great it

0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:04.480
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, but it's so dumb, Like it's good.

0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:07.560
<v Speaker 1>But I think it also set my career up in

0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:09.679
<v Speaker 1>a way where people didn't know if I wasn't on

0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:11.479
<v Speaker 1>the joke or not. So I've spent if you were,

0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.520
<v Speaker 1>if that's how you actually worked an artist, or if

0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:16.040
<v Speaker 1>that was just you messing your head. Yeah, And I

0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:18.000
<v Speaker 1>don't know if you listened to the Best Boys, but

0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:20.560
<v Speaker 1>especially their first record, like it was them having fun

0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:24.600
<v Speaker 1>and just kind of being idiots and being happy and

0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:30.159
<v Speaker 1>fun and joking about ship and just like being nihilist

0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:34.080
<v Speaker 1>young people. And that was kind of where my head

0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:36.479
<v Speaker 1>was at then. But then I also think that I

0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:39.080
<v Speaker 1>had to spend a solid like five years trying to

0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:41.280
<v Speaker 1>prove to people that I had a brain? Was that?

0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:44.359
<v Speaker 1>Do you think that made it harder for you to

0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:46.919
<v Speaker 1>prove yourself in the industry because you know that was

0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:51.320
<v Speaker 1>your breakout song, but it wasn't everything you could accomplish

0:20:51.359 --> 0:20:54.200
<v Speaker 1>as an artist, right, And it did. And I feel

0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:57.479
<v Speaker 1>like I've had to just proved myself over and over

0:20:57.520 --> 0:20:59.479
<v Speaker 1>and over, and I finally feel like with this record,

0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:02.719
<v Speaker 1>I only feel like I've been seen and heard for

0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:04.800
<v Speaker 1>all sides of my personality, because I do have a

0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:07.320
<v Speaker 1>side that's just kind of a jackass, but then I

0:21:07.359 --> 0:21:11.520
<v Speaker 1>have a really emotional side that's every person. And that's

0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:13.760
<v Speaker 1>what I think. I felt like I finally got to

0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:17.040
<v Speaker 1>showcase on my last record, and so on this new record,

0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I have both sides. It's like a mix of it

0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:22.000
<v Speaker 1>all and like all sides of my voice, all sides

0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:24.399
<v Speaker 1>of my personality, and I hope people can have so

0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:27.160
<v Speaker 1>much fun with it. But also there are songs where

0:21:27.160 --> 0:21:31.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm like wailing and singing and that are really depressing.

0:21:31.400 --> 0:21:33.680
<v Speaker 1>So it just depends on the day and how I'm

0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:36.280
<v Speaker 1>feeling that day. But you can also be all those things.

0:21:42.000 --> 0:21:46.080
<v Speaker 1>The song Father Daughter Dance, it is so beautiful. Thank you.

0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:50.119
<v Speaker 1>Is it hard to be that vulnerable on your records,

0:21:50.119 --> 0:21:52.000
<v Speaker 1>because I know you did that with Praying and Rainbow

0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:54.840
<v Speaker 1>and that whole album, um, but it's still hard to

0:21:55.080 --> 0:21:58.800
<v Speaker 1>put out things so just authentic to your life. Well,

0:21:58.920 --> 0:22:01.359
<v Speaker 1>that one was particular, literally hard. I was actually in

0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:04.600
<v Speaker 1>the studio. Yeah, we're in this room, and I was

0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.600
<v Speaker 1>working with him and my friend Drew, who I did

0:22:07.760 --> 0:22:10.120
<v Speaker 1>a good portion of Rainbow with two he's a producer.

0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:15.919
<v Speaker 1>And I never really thought I had that much emotion

0:22:16.320 --> 0:22:20.600
<v Speaker 1>behind not growing up with a father figure, and and

0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:24.320
<v Speaker 1>then it just kind of started happening, like it really

0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:28.280
<v Speaker 1>was my stream of consciousness. But I wasn't even conscious

0:22:28.280 --> 0:22:30.080
<v Speaker 1>of it. It was you didn't realize how much he

0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:32.840
<v Speaker 1>needed to put it out there. And I was very,

0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:36.320
<v Speaker 1>very uncomfortable. It was very how can you not be though?

0:22:36.359 --> 0:22:38.879
<v Speaker 1>It was so uncomfortable, especially especially if you didn't like

0:22:38.920 --> 0:22:41.760
<v Speaker 1>mentally prepare for something like that. Oh, I like really

0:22:41.880 --> 0:22:44.440
<v Speaker 1>was fighting it and then I was with the two

0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:49.239
<v Speaker 1>guys that both have children with have daughters, and they

0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:50.960
<v Speaker 1>were like, no, this is important to keep going, and

0:22:50.960 --> 0:22:53.320
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I just feel really uncomfortable. But usually

0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:56.680
<v Speaker 1>the songs that are the most uncomfortable and you just

0:22:56.760 --> 0:23:02.080
<v Speaker 1>like really don't how artists, those are the hardest. But

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:04.919
<v Speaker 1>usually those are the ones that people in my past

0:23:04.960 --> 0:23:08.640
<v Speaker 1>experience have responded to and been like, Okay, I really

0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:11.480
<v Speaker 1>relate to that on like a deep level. So the

0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:15.199
<v Speaker 1>uncomfortable and like painful and the tea sometimes good to

0:23:15.640 --> 0:23:19.399
<v Speaker 1>put yourself, you know, in uncomfortable situations, like wow, I

0:23:19.400 --> 0:23:22.720
<v Speaker 1>feel like I'm slightly addicted to putting myself an uncomfortable situation.

0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm like forcing myself to sometimes because like and it's

0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:29.080
<v Speaker 1>just like getting myself like Okay, Smith, you can do this.

0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:31.640
<v Speaker 1>You can do it. And it's also like the adrenaline,

0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:36.480
<v Speaker 1>and adrenaline helps so much. It does well when you

0:23:36.480 --> 0:23:39.520
<v Speaker 1>play live TV shows. Every time. I cannot imagine the

0:23:39.560 --> 0:23:42.000
<v Speaker 1>adrenaline that comes from that. I get so scared and

0:23:42.000 --> 0:23:43.640
<v Speaker 1>I've been doing this for ten years. Do you still

0:23:43.680 --> 0:23:49.399
<v Speaker 1>get stage fright? Um? I get like massively terrified to

0:23:49.480 --> 0:23:52.840
<v Speaker 1>the point of like for sure, crying before I take

0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:55.520
<v Speaker 1>the stage. Ever, if it's a live TV performance, when

0:23:55.560 --> 0:23:58.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm just playing shows, they're not televised, and I know

0:23:58.760 --> 0:24:01.760
<v Speaker 1>it's just my fan and we're just write or die,

0:24:01.800 --> 0:24:03.840
<v Speaker 1>and it's so fun and infectious. I don't get nervous.

0:24:03.840 --> 0:24:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I get excited, like I'm going to a house party.

0:24:05.920 --> 0:24:08.040
<v Speaker 1>So what is it about the live TV is because

0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:10.520
<v Speaker 1>like so many people you know that don't necessarily know

0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:14.040
<v Speaker 1>you are watching, or don't necessarily like me, or would

0:24:14.119 --> 0:24:16.320
<v Speaker 1>like to find something to pick apart, or would like

0:24:16.400 --> 0:24:18.639
<v Speaker 1>to find the one note that I miss because I

0:24:18.680 --> 0:24:22.320
<v Speaker 1>don't lip sync, and things like that where I just

0:24:22.320 --> 0:24:24.679
<v Speaker 1>don't want to be fucked if I can't hear myself

0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:26.520
<v Speaker 1>and I hit one bad note, or if I'm dancing

0:24:26.520 --> 0:24:30.240
<v Speaker 1>and I'm out of breath and it's just it's live, well,

0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:32.360
<v Speaker 1>that's you know, it's life not That's what I think

0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:36.040
<v Speaker 1>is so incredible about live performances is because it's not

0:24:36.119 --> 0:24:39.280
<v Speaker 1>exactly how it is and you can see that everyone's

0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:42.000
<v Speaker 1>just human, and I think people forget that. Well, it's

0:24:42.040 --> 0:24:45.000
<v Speaker 1>also like you don't know if people want that because

0:24:45.400 --> 0:24:48.760
<v Speaker 1>it's We're also used to the face tune and the

0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:51.120
<v Speaker 1>auto tune and all of these things that are supposed

0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:54.639
<v Speaker 1>to make us all quote unquote perfect. I don't believe

0:24:54.680 --> 0:24:58.600
<v Speaker 1>in that can like that concept. I don't believe in

0:24:58.760 --> 0:25:01.760
<v Speaker 1>perfection as an even the thing. I don't think it exists.

0:25:01.840 --> 0:25:04.840
<v Speaker 1>But I don't think. But like we're all because what

0:25:05.040 --> 0:25:10.080
<v Speaker 1>is perfect? It sounds really boring to me, but like,

0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:13.359
<v Speaker 1>I just don't. I also think it's different for every person,

0:25:13.480 --> 0:25:16.520
<v Speaker 1>and we're all fed that perfection is something that is

0:25:16.720 --> 0:25:19.480
<v Speaker 1>almost unachievable and something that we're not. So it feeds

0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:24.280
<v Speaker 1>this insecurity, especially in women, and I am just calling

0:25:24.280 --> 0:25:27.959
<v Speaker 1>it bullshit. I'm thirty two years old over it, and

0:25:28.600 --> 0:25:30.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be perfect. I'm not ever going

0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:32.080
<v Speaker 1>to be, so no one is in the fact that

0:25:32.119 --> 0:25:35.320
<v Speaker 1>you're showing that will help others to realize that, oh,

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:40.960
<v Speaker 1>like being not perfect is cool and everything and everyone

0:25:41.080 --> 0:25:46.040
<v Speaker 1>is perfect if you stop comparing. True. Something I wrote

0:25:46.080 --> 0:25:48.119
<v Speaker 1>on my ceiling when I was in high school and

0:25:48.160 --> 0:25:50.320
<v Speaker 1>it's still there at my mom's house. How do you

0:25:50.400 --> 0:25:55.320
<v Speaker 1>write what your ceiling? I stood on my beds put

0:25:55.359 --> 0:25:59.680
<v Speaker 1>posters up there and right on the ceiling. Nice, that's impressive,

0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:03.359
<v Speaker 1>But you know there's a song there just from like

0:26:03.400 --> 0:26:06.639
<v Speaker 1>your past music that I love, Good Old Days that

0:26:06.680 --> 0:26:10.640
<v Speaker 1>you did with Mac That is such a beautiful song.

0:26:11.119 --> 0:26:15.120
<v Speaker 1>And I think the lyrics and rainbow just about the rainbow. Yeah,

0:26:15.119 --> 0:26:19.320
<v Speaker 1>and just like the colors, Like colors are great, colors

0:26:19.359 --> 0:26:21.800
<v Speaker 1>are great. I just put out makeup and it's really

0:26:22.080 --> 0:26:23.880
<v Speaker 1>I want to talk to you about that. Yeah, I'll

0:26:23.920 --> 0:26:26.520
<v Speaker 1>send you a box of it if you want. It's

0:26:26.680 --> 0:26:30.760
<v Speaker 1>very bright and yes, please, okay, cool, I'll send you

0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:32.920
<v Speaker 1>a box. But I'm so excited about it because it's

0:26:32.920 --> 0:26:37.439
<v Speaker 1>so bright and colorful, beauty, And I just wanted to

0:26:37.440 --> 0:26:40.480
<v Speaker 1>make something that would make people happy, and I think

0:26:40.480 --> 0:26:44.280
<v Speaker 1>colors make people happy. There's something about it. I don't

0:26:44.280 --> 0:26:46.399
<v Speaker 1>know what it is. What do you think your favorite colors?

0:26:46.400 --> 0:26:48.240
<v Speaker 1>Like if you had to only wear one color for

0:26:48.280 --> 0:26:49.720
<v Speaker 1>the rest of your life, I don't know if I

0:26:49.760 --> 0:26:51.800
<v Speaker 1>could do that, Like if you had to, if I

0:26:51.840 --> 0:26:57.640
<v Speaker 1>had to, is rainbow a color? I'm not, no, I'm gonna.

0:26:57.680 --> 0:27:00.919
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna make it hard for you. It would be

0:27:01.400 --> 0:27:05.600
<v Speaker 1>either a baby pink or turquoise, oh, or a puke

0:27:05.680 --> 0:27:09.600
<v Speaker 1>green like a shart truth, So I can't pick. Yeah,

0:27:09.600 --> 0:27:13.840
<v Speaker 1>but light pink is so pretty. All those I've had

0:27:13.840 --> 0:27:15.640
<v Speaker 1>my hair all those colors, so I was thinking about

0:27:15.640 --> 0:27:17.720
<v Speaker 1>all my favorite hair colors. I love your hair color.

0:27:17.840 --> 0:27:19.840
<v Speaker 1>Is talking about this earlier. I think it's so cool.

0:27:19.920 --> 0:27:22.840
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. I'm still kind of getting used to it. Yeah,

0:27:23.040 --> 0:27:25.640
<v Speaker 1>I feel like when I look at myself in the mirror,

0:27:25.680 --> 0:27:27.760
<v Speaker 1>I kind of feel like an alien. Yeah, when you're

0:27:27.800 --> 0:27:29.960
<v Speaker 1>used to seeing yourself fun way, But then I also

0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:32.359
<v Speaker 1>like challenging it, Like I used to not wear a

0:27:32.359 --> 0:27:35.600
<v Speaker 1>lot of color, and now I want to because it's

0:27:35.640 --> 0:27:40.119
<v Speaker 1>almost just reconnecting with my child self, child self and

0:27:40.200 --> 0:27:44.000
<v Speaker 1>my child heart is. I love color and I love glitter,

0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:47.480
<v Speaker 1>and I don't care what I love glitter. I think

0:27:47.520 --> 0:27:52.640
<v Speaker 1>it's like an innate animal instinct almost to like sparkly things.

0:27:52.720 --> 0:27:55.679
<v Speaker 1>I know that I literally have unicorn socks and unicorn necklace.

0:27:56.119 --> 0:28:00.919
<v Speaker 1>I love color and everything well, I love also unicorns,

0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:03.960
<v Speaker 1>so incredible. I want to talk to you about Kesher's beauty.

0:28:04.280 --> 0:28:07.280
<v Speaker 1>The colors in your palette are just it makes me

0:28:07.320 --> 0:28:11.320
<v Speaker 1>happy looking at it good. That was my goal packing

0:28:11.600 --> 0:28:13.639
<v Speaker 1>and the color is just the whole thing to feel

0:28:13.680 --> 0:28:17.720
<v Speaker 1>like magical. So do you when you're creating a makeup line,

0:28:18.040 --> 0:28:21.240
<v Speaker 1>how do you decide what you want it? To look like,

0:28:21.280 --> 0:28:24.919
<v Speaker 1>because it looks very cohesive but also very um different.

0:28:25.520 --> 0:28:27.520
<v Speaker 1>I wanted it to be unique. I wanted it to

0:28:27.560 --> 0:28:29.120
<v Speaker 1>be something that if you had it out on your

0:28:29.119 --> 0:28:32.080
<v Speaker 1>counter or in your purse, that if you pulled it out,

0:28:32.119 --> 0:28:34.600
<v Speaker 1>people would be like, what is that? That's really cool?

0:28:34.720 --> 0:28:38.520
<v Speaker 1>Especially the I palette. I wanted it's foil and velvet

0:28:38.760 --> 0:28:41.600
<v Speaker 1>and stars and there's a tassel, and there's all these

0:28:41.600 --> 0:28:44.440
<v Speaker 1>colors and summer day and summer night and summer whatever

0:28:44.760 --> 0:28:48.240
<v Speaker 1>you want. And I just wanted to give people something

0:28:48.280 --> 0:28:51.400
<v Speaker 1>really special because it's something that is it easy to apply,

0:28:51.560 --> 0:28:56.040
<v Speaker 1>because it's hot, it's This is why it took me

0:28:56.040 --> 0:28:58.080
<v Speaker 1>over a year to make this is because I love

0:28:58.120 --> 0:29:00.560
<v Speaker 1>all the colors. So I was like, I want cold free, right,

0:29:00.560 --> 0:29:04.640
<v Speaker 1>So it's cruelty free, not tested on animals, not made

0:29:04.640 --> 0:29:08.440
<v Speaker 1>of any animals, super pigmented, which is hard to achieve

0:29:08.520 --> 0:29:13.400
<v Speaker 1>when it's cruelty free and just has absolutely no harm

0:29:13.440 --> 0:29:16.640
<v Speaker 1>done to any animals. Like working on a red that

0:29:16.760 --> 0:29:19.840
<v Speaker 1>was really difficult. I can't imagine how hard it is

0:29:19.840 --> 0:29:22.760
<v Speaker 1>to develop red. It's hard because it's usually made out

0:29:22.760 --> 0:29:26.640
<v Speaker 1>of like smushed up beetles. That's usually what red is

0:29:27.400 --> 0:29:31.959
<v Speaker 1>from you learned something every day. No smushed animals in

0:29:31.960 --> 0:29:36.280
<v Speaker 1>my makeup, so yeah, and if you add water to

0:29:36.360 --> 0:29:39.000
<v Speaker 1>the eyeshadows then they get even more pigmented, so you

0:29:39.040 --> 0:29:42.040
<v Speaker 1>can just like play with it and it's for playing,

0:29:42.240 --> 0:29:44.440
<v Speaker 1>it's for feeling. Oh, I want to try this, like

0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:47.240
<v Speaker 1>happy and excited about life, and I like to do

0:29:47.280 --> 0:29:49.240
<v Speaker 1>one eye one color sometimes and one eye the other color,

0:29:49.240 --> 0:29:52.640
<v Speaker 1>and I'd just go full like yeah, why not exactly.

0:29:52.840 --> 0:29:55.000
<v Speaker 1>I've just like, like I was telling you before, I've

0:29:56.720 --> 0:30:00.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm not really into like beauty standards of what I'm

0:30:00.880 --> 0:30:03.240
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be. I would like to just do what

0:30:03.320 --> 0:30:06.080
<v Speaker 1>makes me happy, and I think especially with my makeup,

0:30:06.120 --> 0:30:07.840
<v Speaker 1>I would like for everybody else to do that, just

0:30:07.880 --> 0:30:09.680
<v Speaker 1>do what makes me happy. Well, I feel like you

0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:12.720
<v Speaker 1>just to sidetrack for a second. I feel like you

0:30:12.840 --> 0:30:16.880
<v Speaker 1>have so many great memories and experiences just because you

0:30:17.320 --> 0:30:20.000
<v Speaker 1>want to test things and try new things. What do

0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:24.240
<v Speaker 1>you think the most memorable and or rebellious thing you

0:30:24.280 --> 0:30:29.320
<v Speaker 1>did when you're a teen? Well, so my mom wasn't. Honestly,

0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:33.040
<v Speaker 1>I think it was. She wrote country music. So I

0:30:33.080 --> 0:30:36.840
<v Speaker 1>was like, what is the polar opposite kind of music

0:30:36.960 --> 0:30:40.480
<v Speaker 1>I could make? And it was like dancy, like it

0:30:40.560 --> 0:30:44.480
<v Speaker 1>was emotional, but it was also like I don't call

0:30:44.560 --> 0:30:47.400
<v Speaker 1>it rapping, I call it ship talking because I myself

0:30:47.400 --> 0:30:49.600
<v Speaker 1>a rapper. But I was like, what would be like

0:30:49.640 --> 0:30:53.440
<v Speaker 1>the polar opposite of what kind of music my mom writes?

0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:55.800
<v Speaker 1>And so I kind of just went like full dance

0:30:56.200 --> 0:31:00.600
<v Speaker 1>and was talking shit and like just went in a

0:31:00.600 --> 0:31:02.520
<v Speaker 1>totally different direction. That's kind of how I found my

0:31:02.560 --> 0:31:05.720
<v Speaker 1>sound initially was by accident. It was just me trying

0:31:05.760 --> 0:31:09.080
<v Speaker 1>to rebel against what my mom would have wanted me

0:31:09.160 --> 0:31:11.840
<v Speaker 1>to do. Yeah, and it's funny because now I've come

0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:14.360
<v Speaker 1>full circle and just but as a song with Sturgill

0:31:14.400 --> 0:31:18.200
<v Speaker 1>Simpson and love country music. So hey, everything happens for

0:31:18.240 --> 0:31:21.000
<v Speaker 1>a reason in that way, I think I like to

0:31:21.040 --> 0:31:24.000
<v Speaker 1>believe it does, because if you don't believe that, and

0:31:24.000 --> 0:31:26.040
<v Speaker 1>there are some days I don't, But I think it

0:31:26.040 --> 0:31:27.800
<v Speaker 1>depends on the situation. Like I feel like, if the

0:31:27.800 --> 0:31:31.640
<v Speaker 1>star is aligne, you know, then why not think it

0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:33.760
<v Speaker 1>happens for a reason. It's kind of you can make

0:31:33.800 --> 0:31:36.600
<v Speaker 1>that choice or not. And it feels nice to think

0:31:36.960 --> 0:31:40.600
<v Speaker 1>something's watching out over you and everything's happening for a

0:31:40.600 --> 0:31:44.040
<v Speaker 1>reason and there is karma all of those very hippie

0:31:44.080 --> 0:31:47.160
<v Speaker 1>things I do. I do believe in because it makes

0:31:47.160 --> 0:31:50.040
<v Speaker 1>me feel comforted. Yeah, And I mean I also know

0:31:50.160 --> 0:31:52.960
<v Speaker 1>that it might not be real, but I like to

0:31:53.000 --> 0:31:55.760
<v Speaker 1>believe it. I think I think it was you on

0:31:55.800 --> 0:31:57.760
<v Speaker 1>the Zach Saying Show when I heard you say that

0:31:59.480 --> 0:32:03.400
<v Speaker 1>you believe that, Well, you're talking about raising hell and

0:32:03.400 --> 0:32:06.240
<v Speaker 1>you're talking about that you believe you can make heaven

0:32:06.680 --> 0:32:09.560
<v Speaker 1>on earth. Can you talk more about that? Sure? I

0:32:09.600 --> 0:32:14.760
<v Speaker 1>think that like our experience, how we behave to ourselves

0:32:14.760 --> 0:32:20.040
<v Speaker 1>to other people, being honest, chasing our dreams, believing in ourselves,

0:32:20.400 --> 0:32:22.960
<v Speaker 1>all of those things can contribute to leading a more

0:32:23.000 --> 0:32:26.640
<v Speaker 1>positive or quote unquote heavenly experience. And I'm not so

0:32:26.720 --> 0:32:30.320
<v Speaker 1>worried about being judged at the gates of heaven or hell.

0:32:30.960 --> 0:32:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm more concerned with leading a really honest life and

0:32:35.480 --> 0:32:40.480
<v Speaker 1>standing for something and being remembered for standing for something

0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:43.240
<v Speaker 1>and being a good person and being on the right

0:32:43.280 --> 0:32:46.520
<v Speaker 1>side of history. And I feel like that to me

0:32:47.200 --> 0:32:50.360
<v Speaker 1>is living in your heaven, and living in your hell

0:32:50.480 --> 0:32:54.280
<v Speaker 1>would be not following your heart and not following your truth.

0:32:55.000 --> 0:32:57.280
<v Speaker 1>I love that is that how you want to be remembered,

0:32:57.280 --> 0:32:58.480
<v Speaker 1>And like, that's what is that what you want your

0:32:58.560 --> 0:33:01.560
<v Speaker 1>legacy to be weird. You're asking me that because I

0:33:01.640 --> 0:33:03.840
<v Speaker 1>was up all night last night, I couldn't sleep because

0:33:03.880 --> 0:33:06.280
<v Speaker 1>of the full moon, and I wrote a song called legacy.

0:33:07.840 --> 0:33:10.840
<v Speaker 1>That's really bizarre. You asked me that that's so weird.

0:33:11.640 --> 0:33:15.040
<v Speaker 1>But I was talking about how I don't really know

0:33:15.120 --> 0:33:17.440
<v Speaker 1>what I want to be on my tombstone. I think

0:33:17.440 --> 0:33:22.840
<v Speaker 1>it should just say like party on but of us, Yes,

0:33:23.240 --> 0:33:28.320
<v Speaker 1>because I also just think we're here for a short time.

0:33:28.520 --> 0:33:31.600
<v Speaker 1>I think we're we all should try to have the

0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:35.640
<v Speaker 1>best time we possibly can. And there's a little bit

0:33:35.680 --> 0:33:39.640
<v Speaker 1>of nihilism in that, which is you know it is

0:33:39.640 --> 0:33:41.440
<v Speaker 1>what it is. You know you never know how long

0:33:41.480 --> 0:33:44.600
<v Speaker 1>you're going to be here for, so live it to

0:33:44.600 --> 0:33:46.200
<v Speaker 1>the fullest. And a lot of my songs are about that.

0:33:46.280 --> 0:33:48.920
<v Speaker 1>I know. I think it's I just think it's so

0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:52.240
<v Speaker 1>incredible and it makes me smile that you did a

0:33:52.360 --> 0:33:55.720
<v Speaker 1>song with kes with Kesha with the dollar sign. Can

0:33:55.800 --> 0:33:59.920
<v Speaker 1>you hear it? I love it. It's like, what made you?

0:34:00.480 --> 0:34:02.320
<v Speaker 1>How do you come up with that idea to do

0:34:02.400 --> 0:34:08.480
<v Speaker 1>a collaboration with your former your former self, your former reputation. Well,

0:34:08.560 --> 0:34:13.680
<v Speaker 1>I think it's just like me being self aware that

0:34:14.320 --> 0:34:16.080
<v Speaker 1>at that time when I had the dollar sign and

0:34:16.160 --> 0:34:19.279
<v Speaker 1>my name and people just have no idea what to

0:34:19.280 --> 0:34:23.360
<v Speaker 1>do with me, and like really really had no idea,

0:34:23.520 --> 0:34:26.880
<v Speaker 1>and so I wanted to be my current self, but

0:34:27.040 --> 0:34:30.440
<v Speaker 1>featuring that part of me. And so what made you

0:34:30.520 --> 0:34:33.480
<v Speaker 1>change from the dollar sign to the just a regular sum?

0:34:34.120 --> 0:34:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Was there a mementire like today's the day I had

0:34:36.880 --> 0:34:41.799
<v Speaker 1>like just a year of change and going through some

0:34:41.920 --> 0:34:46.080
<v Speaker 1>really heavy stuff, and it was a lot thrown at

0:34:46.080 --> 0:34:49.200
<v Speaker 1>me right in one year, and it just made me

0:34:49.280 --> 0:34:53.600
<v Speaker 1>want to I wanted to respect myself as an artist

0:34:53.680 --> 0:34:56.200
<v Speaker 1>more because I felt like I wasn't being seen for

0:34:56.239 --> 0:35:00.520
<v Speaker 1>who I really am, and I think to be seen

0:35:00.560 --> 0:35:02.520
<v Speaker 1>for who you really are, you have to present who

0:35:02.560 --> 0:35:04.840
<v Speaker 1>you actually are. And a huge part of that was

0:35:04.880 --> 0:35:10.360
<v Speaker 1>being more vulnerable and not always just being so self

0:35:10.400 --> 0:35:13.759
<v Speaker 1>deprecating and taking the piss Like my Twitter handle used

0:35:13.800 --> 0:35:16.040
<v Speaker 1>to be Cashia sucks because I thought I'll just beat

0:35:16.080 --> 0:35:19.480
<v Speaker 1>people to the punchline. So but then I just I

0:35:19.520 --> 0:35:21.719
<v Speaker 1>wanted to just feel like I was being nicer to

0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:24.879
<v Speaker 1>myself and it's hard to do that. It was thought

0:35:25.200 --> 0:35:27.880
<v Speaker 1>literally the hardest thing in the entire world. That's my

0:35:28.000 --> 0:35:31.040
<v Speaker 1>biggest challenge. What do you say to someone who's like

0:35:31.040 --> 0:35:34.360
<v Speaker 1>going through that needs to overcome to self love? Self

0:35:34.400 --> 0:35:36.400
<v Speaker 1>love is such a hard thing because it's so easy

0:35:36.440 --> 0:35:39.399
<v Speaker 1>to talk about, is really really hard to practice. I

0:35:39.440 --> 0:35:43.200
<v Speaker 1>think giving myself a break is really really hard. And

0:35:43.280 --> 0:35:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you seem like you're a very ambitious person yourself.

0:35:46.280 --> 0:35:50.640
<v Speaker 1>It's really hard to be really ambitious and want to

0:35:50.680 --> 0:35:55.080
<v Speaker 1>conquer the world in whatever field you're going for and

0:35:55.120 --> 0:35:58.880
<v Speaker 1>then also take it easy on yourself. I don't know

0:35:58.880 --> 0:36:02.880
<v Speaker 1>if you I'm very I'm very critical of myself. Me too,

0:36:03.040 --> 0:36:06.200
<v Speaker 1>and I think that's part of what makes my work ethic.

0:36:06.760 --> 0:36:10.080
<v Speaker 1>I love to work and I love to be so

0:36:10.360 --> 0:36:14.279
<v Speaker 1>involved in everything because it's so cool creating something. It's

0:36:14.400 --> 0:36:17.560
<v Speaker 1>the best, the best feeling. Oh my god, I love it.

0:36:17.600 --> 0:36:20.239
<v Speaker 1>This is the first thing I've ever created. And the

0:36:20.239 --> 0:36:22.279
<v Speaker 1>fact that it's like, you know, I was working on

0:36:22.320 --> 0:36:24.280
<v Speaker 1>it in my room and now it's like I'm talking

0:36:24.320 --> 0:36:28.520
<v Speaker 1>to you, like man, like amazing. You should as you

0:36:28.640 --> 0:36:31.160
<v Speaker 1>totally should. And I used to just feel like, oh,

0:36:31.200 --> 0:36:33.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm such a douche bag. If I ever say anything

0:36:33.239 --> 0:36:35.319
<v Speaker 1>nice about myself, it's hard for me to do it.

0:36:35.360 --> 0:36:37.759
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm trying to make more of an effort to

0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:41.320
<v Speaker 1>just be like I want me too. Every day, every

0:36:41.400 --> 0:36:43.799
<v Speaker 1>day something I work on because I just never want

0:36:43.840 --> 0:36:46.920
<v Speaker 1>to come off like I'm full of myself, are conceited,

0:36:47.040 --> 0:36:49.160
<v Speaker 1>or you're bragging. You know, you just want to share

0:36:49.200 --> 0:36:53.479
<v Speaker 1>your experience. I got you. But I also feel like, wow,

0:36:53.520 --> 0:36:56.040
<v Speaker 1>I work, I work a lot to do this thing,

0:36:56.080 --> 0:36:58.120
<v Speaker 1>and I should be able to say a nice thing

0:36:58.160 --> 0:37:01.759
<v Speaker 1>about it without feeling like a douche bag. That's really

0:37:01.800 --> 0:37:04.480
<v Speaker 1>hard for me. It's really hard to relax sometimes, like

0:37:05.320 --> 0:37:08.120
<v Speaker 1>just especially just to take a breath, like live in

0:37:08.120 --> 0:37:10.360
<v Speaker 1>the moment. It's one of the hardest things stay. But

0:37:10.400 --> 0:37:12.480
<v Speaker 1>when you're in the moment, it's the best feeling. Well,

0:37:12.520 --> 0:37:14.799
<v Speaker 1>like here, I might here with you. You know, we're

0:37:14.840 --> 0:37:19.080
<v Speaker 1>like creating something that is part of your destiny and mine.

0:37:19.400 --> 0:37:22.400
<v Speaker 1>So I feel really good about this time. But then

0:37:22.440 --> 0:37:24.040
<v Speaker 1>if I were to go home and just like lay

0:37:24.080 --> 0:37:26.480
<v Speaker 1>on the couch, I would be there for about two

0:37:26.520 --> 0:37:28.880
<v Speaker 1>minutes and then I would feel really guilty and go

0:37:28.960 --> 0:37:34.160
<v Speaker 1>upstairs and start like playing the piano. That's so interesting. Yeah,

0:37:34.200 --> 0:37:35.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if that's like the healthiest thing in

0:37:35.640 --> 0:37:38.520
<v Speaker 1>the world, but I find it so interesting just I'm

0:37:38.560 --> 0:37:41.960
<v Speaker 1>obsessed with it creating. Yeah, it makes me feel like

0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:46.720
<v Speaker 1>peaceful when I can create, it makes me feel useful

0:37:46.760 --> 0:37:48.920
<v Speaker 1>and peaceful. And I don't know if it's like the

0:37:48.960 --> 0:37:50.800
<v Speaker 1>healthiest thing, but for me in my life, I found

0:37:50.800 --> 0:37:52.600
<v Speaker 1>it to be the most therapeutic thing when I create.

0:37:53.239 --> 0:37:55.640
<v Speaker 1>What is your biggest goal as an artist? Is it

0:37:55.680 --> 0:37:58.160
<v Speaker 1>to win Grammys? Is it to make a certain amount

0:37:58.160 --> 0:38:01.120
<v Speaker 1>of albums? You know? What use to be things like

0:38:02.400 --> 0:38:04.560
<v Speaker 1>of course, who doesn't want to grant me? You know?

0:38:04.760 --> 0:38:07.560
<v Speaker 1>If you make music, of course that's like a dream.

0:38:07.880 --> 0:38:14.560
<v Speaker 1>But I've tried to make it more um less dependent

0:38:14.640 --> 0:38:19.040
<v Speaker 1>on external validation. So something like that you really have

0:38:19.080 --> 0:38:20.920
<v Speaker 1>no control over. So I don't want to put my

0:38:21.000 --> 0:38:24.279
<v Speaker 1>happiness in the hands of something I have zero control over.

0:38:24.280 --> 0:38:27.720
<v Speaker 1>I'd rather make control of situation. Yeah, and just feel

0:38:27.719 --> 0:38:32.239
<v Speaker 1>successful in creating a song like praying. That song is

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:36.600
<v Speaker 1>like a journey, and like a song, I feel you

0:38:36.719 --> 0:38:38.799
<v Speaker 1>every time I sing it, I feel like you go

0:38:38.840 --> 0:38:41.440
<v Speaker 1>through a story. I go through it every every single

0:38:41.480 --> 0:38:43.640
<v Speaker 1>time I sing that song. But I've had so many

0:38:43.680 --> 0:38:47.239
<v Speaker 1>people that have gone through very very different things that

0:38:47.280 --> 0:38:49.680
<v Speaker 1>I've gone through and have just said they related to

0:38:49.960 --> 0:38:53.400
<v Speaker 1>that song and that to me is the best feeling

0:38:53.440 --> 0:38:56.759
<v Speaker 1>in the world. Knowing that you've connected with someone and

0:38:56.800 --> 0:38:59.680
<v Speaker 1>I can't helped them in a way, I feel not alone.

0:39:00.239 --> 0:39:03.640
<v Speaker 1>That to me is success. I hope that's what this does.

0:39:03.800 --> 0:39:06.640
<v Speaker 1>And I'm just so happy and grateful that you know,

0:39:06.719 --> 0:39:08.680
<v Speaker 1>you're on this week's episode, and it just means the

0:39:08.719 --> 0:39:12.399
<v Speaker 1>world to me. Thank you, And I'm so excited for you.

0:39:12.600 --> 0:39:16.040
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, you're seventeen, and that's so impressive that

0:39:16.160 --> 0:39:20.040
<v Speaker 1>you're so you're just so in charge of your life

0:39:20.040 --> 0:39:22.880
<v Speaker 1>and you're doing what you want to do, and I

0:39:23.000 --> 0:39:25.920
<v Speaker 1>just think that's badass. It's really hard to just go

0:39:25.960 --> 0:39:28.200
<v Speaker 1>after what you want and have the confidence to do

0:39:28.239 --> 0:39:30.040
<v Speaker 1>it and really just do it, and you're doing it,

0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:33.520
<v Speaker 1>and it's amazing and really inspiring. Well, thank you so much.

0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:35.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Well, thank you so much for being

0:39:35.520 --> 0:39:38.279
<v Speaker 1>on this week's episode. Make sure you go listen to

0:39:38.360 --> 0:39:43.359
<v Speaker 1>Kesha's new album High Road Amazing. Hope you guys like it. Bye,

0:39:44.640 --> 0:39:48.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm so excited for you. I hope you guys enjoyed

0:39:48.640 --> 0:39:52.160
<v Speaker 1>this episode with Kesha. I had such an incredible time

0:39:52.200 --> 0:39:54.840
<v Speaker 1>just getting to know her. Make sure you go listen

0:39:54.840 --> 0:39:57.239
<v Speaker 1>to her new album High Road and follow her on

0:39:57.280 --> 0:39:59.759
<v Speaker 1>her socials. Her instagram is I is who I Is.

0:40:00.280 --> 0:40:03.000
<v Speaker 1>Make sure you follow my instagram which is It's Sammy

0:40:03.080 --> 0:40:05.719
<v Speaker 1>j I T S S A M M Y j

0:40:05.920 --> 0:40:10.040
<v Speaker 1>A y E. And also follow my podcast instagram, which

0:40:10.080 --> 0:40:12.640
<v Speaker 1>is crazy to say, it's Sammy j Dot. Let's be

0:40:12.680 --> 0:40:15.279
<v Speaker 1>real and you're gonna want to follow that because there

0:40:15.280 --> 0:40:18.120
<v Speaker 1>are some pretty exciting giveaways coming and a lot of

0:40:18.160 --> 0:40:20.760
<v Speaker 1>fun stuff. Um. I hope you guys enjoyed this week's

0:40:20.760 --> 0:40:21.640
<v Speaker 1>episode by