Speaker 1: Look Mayre.
Speaker 2: Oh, I see you, and look over there is that culture.
Speaker 1: Yes, goodness, wow.
Speaker 3: Lost cult.
Speaker 1: Ing, lost culturesa's calling. Now much has befallen. The culture
Speaker 1: ISAs well.
Speaker 3: Matt came on this zoom with the words, and I
Speaker 3: know he means storytelling when he says a story like
Speaker 3: mine has never been told. He's about to spin a
Speaker 3: yarn on us. Okay, picture this.
Speaker 2: I'm spending ninety minutes packing roughly for my big what
Speaker 2: I'm calling my big August.
Speaker 1: So I was going to Scotland to see the Edinburgh
Speaker 1: Fringe Festival. More on that in a bit.
Speaker 2: Then I was going straight to Las Vegas, Nevada to
Speaker 2: see Kelly Clarkson. Then I'm going to Orlando, Florida to
Speaker 2: hang out with my sister and dear friends. After that,
Speaker 2: I was to go to the Fire Island Pines. So
Speaker 2: I was gonna say and all of August away. So
Speaker 2: I needed to pack a ton of things. So I
Speaker 2: spent about ninety minutes packing. I go to throw out
Speaker 2: the garbage in my New York apartment.
Speaker 1: It's always I leave.
Speaker 2: It's always the garbage that gets you. I leave the apartment,
Speaker 2: the door closes behind me.
Speaker 1: Oh, my god, all.
Speaker 2: My bags and my keys are in the goddamn room.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh my god, my passport is in there.
Speaker 2: Just kidding, No, it's not. I have on my person.
Speaker 2: I have my passport, my wallet, my phone, and my AirPods.
Speaker 2: So I had a choice to make. Do I just
Speaker 2: straight up go to the airport with nothing but the.
Speaker 1: Clothes on my back and none of the things I packed?
Speaker 1: The answer was yes.
Speaker 2: I got on a plane to Edinburgh, Scotland, where I
Speaker 2: currently am with nothing, and did a shop in Suprior
Speaker 2: Blue cran Trail style cran Trail in the JFK. I said,
Speaker 2: I bought all the basics and some bags. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: that I get here with truly nothing but the base
Speaker 2: seeks and here we are. I'm here in Edinburgh fringe.
Speaker 2: I'm seeing amazing shows. I'm doing amazing culture here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I did that.
Speaker 2: I committed to the culture that I said I was
Speaker 2: going to see.
Speaker 1: But even without all my things.
Speaker 3: What did it feel like to walk through security with nothing?
Speaker 1: Honestly? I was like, do I look suspicious?
Speaker 2: Mmmm?
Speaker 3: Interesting?
Speaker 2: Nobody stopped me, but I was like, I know I
Speaker 2: looked suspicious, just breezing through to an international flight.
Speaker 1: It's a white privilege, honestly, and.
Speaker 2: I'm ready to talk about that. And I want this
Speaker 2: episode to be called white privilege. Yeah, this episode is
Speaker 2: about white privilege.
Speaker 3: We've got three white women on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Today, Bowen Yang, Matt Rogers, and I'm the guest.
Speaker 2: But first, before we get to the guest who actually
Speaker 2: has a show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I want
Speaker 2: to know how you are feeling.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling.
Speaker 3: Really bad. I feel sick.
Speaker 1: What's going on, Queen?
Speaker 3: I just woke up with the sore throw and a fever.
Speaker 3: It's not COVID yet, but I'm going she's back no
Speaker 3: matter what this is. The virus is back. And I
Speaker 3: have a bone to pick with Peggy Lee this thing.
Speaker 3: He's saying, Well, she might have passed, but she glamorized
Speaker 3: illness with the song fever.
Speaker 1: Fever all through the night. That's not good. That is
Speaker 1: not Are you experiencing symptoms throughout the night?
Speaker 3: I was waking up every hour on the hour to
Speaker 3: pee and then fall back asleep. Was having the most
Speaker 3: intense dreams. This is no joke. Fevers. What is going
Speaker 3: on there? I think there's something magical about fevers. It's
Speaker 3: not just the symptom of fever, it's what it does
Speaker 3: to you, sort of psychoactively. There's a psycho development to fever.
Speaker 2: Describe your dreams, and by this sentence, I mean describe
Speaker 2: the dreams you had last night during a fever, not
Speaker 2: your big dreams and the macro sense.
Speaker 3: Right, I don't. I'm not someone who remembers them very well.
Speaker 3: But I think I was with the lover or something
Speaker 3: likely story Oh my god, fever dream yeah, hi, and
Speaker 3: the quieter of the night. I got it, and I
Speaker 3: think I might have even had some. I think Jessel
Speaker 3: Tank kind have been in my dream because I just
Speaker 3: finished watching Roney and that's that's aw about all I
Speaker 3: can remember Jessel.
Speaker 2: Saying that Tribeca is an up and coming neighborhood. Is
Speaker 2: why I showed that to our guests. That she couldn't
Speaker 2: believe it, she couldn't let it go. She's not stopped
Speaker 2: talking about it.
Speaker 3: Or our guess just made a face. This is iconic
Speaker 3: at first. By the way, we have our guest with
Speaker 3: Matt on the zoom box in a different country, and
Speaker 3: in Macbeth country.
Speaker 1: Oh god, we've all.
Speaker 2: Been talking about how you can't say it. Did I
Speaker 2: ever tell you about the time I said you can't
Speaker 2: say it in.
Speaker 3: The theater, that's the only place you can't say it.
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like okay.
Speaker 2: So we were having some cocktails last night with some
Speaker 2: of the girls, Patti Harrison and Ruby McCollister at all,
Speaker 2: and we were all talking about and if you're a
Speaker 2: real reader, you can look back to Ruby mccallister's episode
Speaker 2: Dark Gay Culture when she talked about being raised in
Speaker 2: a la theater.
Speaker 1: It was the Core and now that became the Largo.
Speaker 2: So I looked at her and I said, I am
Speaker 2: not going to say the name of the Scottish play
Speaker 2: in her presence at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Speaker 1: I'm just not doing it.
Speaker 2: So we all had a conversation about how what exactly
Speaker 2: happens when you do say it, and the curse of
Speaker 2: the play and it's a very cursed town.
Speaker 1: Before we were at the Witch as well, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: describe it.
Speaker 3: I want to bring our guests in. I want to
Speaker 3: hear about the witches well from our guests.
Speaker 2: She can really describe the witches well better than I can,
Speaker 2: because she's sort of so smart and so gorgeous and so.
Speaker 1: Funny, yes, and so many things.
Speaker 2: And I will say I did see her show exquisite
Speaker 2: Wise last night at the Edinburgh Fringe. I think I've
Speaker 2: seen the show more than anyone else because I open
Speaker 2: up for the guests when she does the show live.
Speaker 2: I'm so proud of her. She's killing it up here
Speaker 2: in Edinburgh. She just got another five star review and
Speaker 2: the reviews have been good. The city of Edinburgh is
Speaker 2: buzzing about Exquisite Lies and I'm having the best time
Speaker 2: with her. It's her day off today and we're having
Speaker 2: an amazing time. But we're gonna go see a money exchange.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. She's in town. She's doing a show
Speaker 3: and now it's very hard to impress foreign audience. We
Speaker 3: know this, and she's going to tell you all about that.
Speaker 1: But you know her. You love her. You got to
Speaker 1: see your show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Speaker 2: If you're here, ladies and gentlemen, hease welcome credit.
Speaker 1: You're right next to me.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. I I every single time I get
Speaker 4: the chance to come on Lass Culture, I am so honored.
Speaker 4: I really am. And what bigger honor than to be
Speaker 4: doing it here in my absolutely show.
Speaker 1: Flat Oh Yeah, it's really not good.
Speaker 4: Where can we start stained wall to wall carpets for
Speaker 4: the lab of luxury. It's all always moist you know,
Speaker 4: the kind of wall to wall that's always wet and
Speaker 4: you don't really know what from. But there's a little
Speaker 4: bit of moisture everywhere. We absolutely have a shit closet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just in there.
Speaker 4: Where this used to be. This is a very old
Speaker 4: building and the coop stall was its own little freight
Speaker 4: like literal closet where you would go and shit.
Speaker 3: And E Europe doesn't get it.
Speaker 2: You'repe.
Speaker 3: Putting the toilet in its own room is disgusting.
Speaker 4: Also, they have not gotten on board with a comfortable
Speaker 4: toilet seat. It's possible, period, it is possible.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what to everywhere you go. And I
Speaker 2: hate this and I don't think so honey today. Actually
Speaker 2: I didn't tell what it is, but we were walking
Speaker 2: earlier and it is related to this, but this is
Speaker 2: not it.
Speaker 1: But this is something I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 2: Why are the lights to the bathrooms on the outside
Speaker 2: of the room. The switch the Swiss that turns on
Speaker 2: the lights, it's on the outside of the room like
Speaker 2: also the buttons on these toilets in the UK.
Speaker 4: Just oh, oh, you don't even know. You don't even
Speaker 4: know the trick about my toilet.
Speaker 3: What's the trick?
Speaker 4: Well, my toilet. If you so decide to go number two,
Speaker 4: you have to run the sink on top of my toilet. Yes,
Speaker 4: there is a sink on top of the toil there is.
Speaker 4: I will be providing a photo. I have to run
Speaker 4: this sink on top of the toilet in order to
Speaker 4: get enough water to flush your turd.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're in old town, Scotland, we really are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, app describe the witch as well? What was it like?
Speaker 1: Like, what's so?
Speaker 3: What's so amazing about it?
Speaker 4: The Witch's well? O. We are winding up Potter's Way.
Speaker 4: We are winding up the gorgeous cobblestone streets of the
Speaker 4: ancient city. Ancient of the ancient. I'm a little ancient, yeah,
Speaker 4: ancient of Some might say that the sixteenth century streets
Speaker 4: of Edinburgh. And what do we stumble upon? The witches well. Now,
Speaker 4: this well is where all of the witches would go
Speaker 4: and drink in the fifteenth and sixteenth century before they
Speaker 4: all got persecuted and hung.
Speaker 3: It was like, it's to commemorate them in many to
Speaker 3: commemorate them. Was it to be like here, drink from
Speaker 3: here before we kill you?
Speaker 4: Or was it yeah, it says, hey, why don't you
Speaker 4: must in that mouth before we hang you from it?
Speaker 1: Yeslagh it was nice.
Speaker 4: Lag.
Speaker 1: Yeah, those slags I do have.
Speaker 4: My eyes have fallen on a sexual hot yeah.
Speaker 2: Wait Scottish So it's the one place in Scotland where
Speaker 2: you can get cold brew batch brew as they call it, yea,
Speaker 2: And there is one barista who's just got it.
Speaker 3: Did you ask him for ice? He doesn't look at
Speaker 3: you like you're a fucking fool.
Speaker 1: Tell Bowen what I said.
Speaker 4: I said, I'm so happy you have cold brew. He
Speaker 4: was like, oh, he's like oh yeah. I was like,
Speaker 4: I'll be coming here every day and he said, and
Speaker 4: I look forward to serving.
Speaker 1: No, he said, I love to serve. He said, well,
Speaker 1: I love to serve you. That's hot.
Speaker 4: I said, do you want me to throw it back? Papa?
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 3: Papa?
Speaker 5: Me?
Speaker 3: Turn around?
Speaker 1: I said, you want to split me muff? Yeah, split
Speaker 1: me muff? You want to? I said, split me off?
Speaker 1: I used the expression, and you want to split me mouff.
Speaker 2: The other day to Greta and she had had a
Speaker 2: negative reaction to it.
Speaker 3: Well, that's accurate. You the muff is spoil.
Speaker 4: The muff splitter. They call me the splitter I mean
Speaker 4: when I tell you there are crazy things happening on
Speaker 4: the stages in Edinburgh. I was at a bar the
Speaker 4: other day with Patty Woman on stage, fully spreading open
Speaker 4: her vagina, explaining what a labia is to a packed
Speaker 4: bar of people.
Speaker 3: I've never been to Edinburgh. What is the culture?
Speaker 1: The energy?
Speaker 3: Is it like chaos? What is your experience as someone
Speaker 3: who has an acclaimed show there? That is that is
Speaker 3: the dream?
Speaker 4: Is it a claims?
Speaker 1: Yes, you just got a five stores review.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 4: Look what I love to sell it out? I would,
Speaker 4: I would love to sell it out. But the reality
Speaker 4: is this festival. It has over thirty two hundred shows
Speaker 4: playing here, and it's everything. It's theater, it's comedy, it's
Speaker 4: clown it's circus, it's dance, it's magic. It's literally like
Speaker 4: any kind.
Speaker 3: Of giving stringing boom. It's giving like the bubbles. The
Speaker 3: bubble should be bursting soon.
Speaker 4: Yes it is, and it's like the biggest gripe. With
Speaker 4: the way that the fringe has changed is that it's
Speaker 4: just become so expensive that like young people really can't
Speaker 4: afford to attend it in the same way that used to,
Speaker 4: you know, so now it's like you get a lot
Speaker 4: of like middle to older age people attending it. And
Speaker 4: you know, when I'm busting my fucking muff on stage, yeah,
Speaker 4: talking about things that are potentially more topical to us,
Speaker 4: it's kind of like where are the girls? You know
Speaker 4: what I mean?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: You need the girls who understands what busting a muff
Speaker 3: even means.
Speaker 4: Exactly, And you know I'm targeting the girls. I did
Speaker 4: look at an eighty three year old woman on the
Speaker 4: brink of death the other night in my show and
Speaker 4: said that I swallowed her, looking directly in her eyes,
Speaker 4: and she laughed. She loved it and laughed and I said, doll,
Speaker 4: I said, I know she wanted to look at me
Speaker 4: and been like, I've been swallowing for seventy years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, swallowing since the Great War exactly.
Speaker 2: There were a couple there were a couple of old
Speaker 2: gays that came up to Greta last night were like,
Speaker 2: you're the most talented person in the festival.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, And the old gays see it all.
Speaker 4: They're like, you're you're the most talented act I've ever
Speaker 4: seen here.
Speaker 1: No, what was that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's Scottish.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 4: I mean you really need to be rolling your your words.
Speaker 4: Lewis Hockey like this.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 4: Matt has also been very bombarded with thost college fans
Speaker 4: really Scotland, Yes, girls shaking in their boots, being like
Speaker 4: is that the local girls?
Speaker 1: Yes, the dolls.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I didn't know the reach.
Speaker 1: I love local girls, man, are you? Look sounds nothing
Speaker 1: like local girls. They love big star rolling through. But
Speaker 1: I will say to just oh, it.
Speaker 4: Is so shook to just finish sort of explaining the.
Speaker 5: Energies, the energy, yes, which you're stuck on the witch
Speaker 5: as well, I would say it's winter here is what
Speaker 5: I think people also don't get.
Speaker 4: It is fully freezing.
Speaker 1: No, it's not freezing. It's sixty degrees. It's it.
Speaker 2: I love getting it to be able to wear a sweatshirt, which,
Speaker 2: by the way, we had to buy all new clothes.
Speaker 2: I will reiterate for me right, but it is really nice,
Speaker 2: like because it's been so goddamn hot, We've all said
Speaker 2: it global boiling and all, but it's been so lovely
Speaker 2: to be here. We looked at some castles. I will
Speaker 2: say to this, the people are so nice, so nice.
Speaker 2: The city is so excited about the festival, and you
Speaker 2: can see why. It's really cool just like the history
Speaker 2: or it's beautiful.
Speaker 4: Like Harry Potter and it's crazy.
Speaker 2: So literally my hotel is I learned it's on the
Speaker 2: street that inspired diagonally. But it's very, very very like,
Speaker 2: it's just amazing. What is really tough is the food?
Speaker 3: Okay, And I'm sure you're not the first people to
Speaker 3: say this, so I think it's okay. It's a conversation
Speaker 3: that we're we can have constructively. What are the delicacies?
Speaker 4: Well, the delicacy the delicacies are.
Speaker 1: Hagis, which I had to ask what that was.
Speaker 3: I didn't like the answer, didn't like the answer. Yeah,
Speaker 3: do you know what's like? You asked London. Yeah, are
Speaker 3: you asking what hagis is? Is like me asking what
Speaker 3: the horses drama was with the owners of horses. Matt
Speaker 3: and Matt Whitaker were like, it's too bad to say
Speaker 3: at dinner. We can't tell you at dinner, And I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, is it that bad? Like God, did
Speaker 3: someone die truly shocking. Once I found out everyone.
Speaker 2: Can just look it up. I think that they've since rectified.
Speaker 2: Do you know about what's going down and horses?
Speaker 1: She doesn't want to comment, And I went to Horses
Speaker 1: with Kreta.
Speaker 4: No, you should absolutely keep it in Bowen and I
Speaker 4: had gorgeous meal at Horses with Aid. It was delectable.
Speaker 4: And I think that from what I've heard, and this
Speaker 4: could be totally false information, I think both of the
Speaker 4: chefs are now at the picture, but I think they're
Speaker 4: not at the both of both of them are not
Speaker 4: at the restaurant anymore from what I glean And by
Speaker 4: the way, it's still a tough reservation to get your
Speaker 4: little paws on. And I don't think I don't think
Speaker 4: that the whole you know, kitty kat of it all
Speaker 4: kind of deterred their business.
Speaker 2: Well so, and literally we're not going to get into
Speaker 2: it on the pod because it's giving tw like, if
Speaker 2: you want to find out what happened with horses, which
Speaker 2: by the way, I think it is right to find out,
Speaker 2: look it up on your own t I m e.
Speaker 2: But you know what I've really discovered, especially in LA
Speaker 2: controversy around restaurants, by people are like, we're not going
Speaker 2: there anymore, does not stop business, because I'll tell you
Speaker 2: what we was.
Speaker 1: It like, it must have been like two months ago,
Speaker 1: at the height of the scandalball. We were looking to go.
Speaker 1: We're looking for a place to get drinks and have
Speaker 1: some naches.
Speaker 3: And we were ended up shorts and Sandy's no.
Speaker 2: So basically what happened was we were around that area
Speaker 2: and I of course refused to step.
Speaker 1: Foot in shorts and Sandy's and I won't do it,
Speaker 1: and I was like.
Speaker 4: Let's just fucking go to shorts and Sandy's who cares?
Speaker 4: And I was like, I can't be seen there.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not being seen.
Speaker 2: I'm no because I support and respect Ariana.
Speaker 3: So then you guys drove past it and saw that
Speaker 3: it was packed.
Speaker 4: So then I was like, let me just go and
Speaker 4: see because no place around there like had room. And
Speaker 4: I was like, let me just go and see if
Speaker 4: we can just get a drink while we wait for
Speaker 4: a table somewhere else. Walk in packed gills. They were like, honey,
Speaker 4: if you don't have a reservation at all this weekend,
Speaker 4: you are not getting in my god, a little present
Speaker 4: from there.
Speaker 1: She got me a coach.
Speaker 2: She got me an ash tray, and I felt good
Speaker 2: about having a Schwartz and Sandy's ashtray because I can
Speaker 2: be like late, not my little, my little duber.
Speaker 3: I mean Chick fil A is a perfect example. You
Speaker 3: don't know, I've stopped eating it. I really have you
Speaker 3: need to walk that back? Honey?
Speaker 1: Are you telling me to stand down?
Speaker 4: Back off?
Speaker 1: I just love I love it.
Speaker 2: There was a time when Bowen and I would go
Speaker 2: downtown LA to record old episodes of Lost Culture when
Speaker 2: we were still over at Forever Dog and they had
Speaker 2: an office down there, and Bowen would get a devilish,
Speaker 2: little feverish look in his eye and he would say,
Speaker 2: and I would say, here, we would have a tussle
Speaker 2: in the street. We would get physical with each other fighting.
Speaker 4: Chick fil A is like, unfortunately, very good, and.
Speaker 3: It wouldn't be in the conversation it was bad. Do
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: And they say that about a lot of things, But you.
Speaker 4: Know, it's weird that I still have never been able
Speaker 4: to get behind Yeah, square burger patties at Wendy's.
Speaker 3: I just think that's a nice that's like nice, little novelty. Shit.
Speaker 3: It's a way to like distinguish the brand.
Speaker 4: But do you how do you feel about a square burger?
Speaker 3: Honey, it's more surface area, it's more beef.
Speaker 4: That's true.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't think about it.
Speaker 4: You feel that it should be on sand on like.
Speaker 3: A bund also square, No, because the shape of a
Speaker 3: burger is round, just like how Charlie Barday tweeted when
Speaker 3: people put soup in a square tupperware, that is not right.
Speaker 3: It should be round. It should be a circle, which
Speaker 3: is the shape of soup.
Speaker 2: Yeah, super is a circle, especially retal culture number eighty three.
Speaker 3: Souper is a circle. Credit to Charlie Barday.
Speaker 1: You know, you know it's We walked.
Speaker 2: Past Nando's earlier. I thought Nando's was great cuisine.
Speaker 3: It depends you like Nando's though you've had Nanda in London.
Speaker 1: I went.
Speaker 2: Matt Whitaker and I went when we were in London,
Speaker 2: and the way he was acting about it was like, well,
Speaker 2: we have to go to Nando's if we want quality chicken.
Speaker 1: And so then we sat down and ate it and
Speaker 1: I thought was great.
Speaker 2: I walked by Nando's earlier with Greta because we're literally
Speaker 2: searching far and.
Speaker 1: Wide for literally one bite of decent food.
Speaker 2: Literally searching, searching, like it was like looking for fucking
Speaker 2: the scientology woman trying to find a vegetable in this
Speaker 2: goddamn looking for Shelley Miskovich. You can you can find
Speaker 2: Shelley miskavision or easier in this town than a fucking
Speaker 2: piece of broccoli. I'll tell you that right now. So
Speaker 2: we're walking past Nando's and I go, oh my god, Nando's.
Speaker 2: That's really good. And Greta looks at me and goes, yeah,
Speaker 2: if you like seven eleven, Greta, she's such a bitch.
Speaker 1: She's a slag.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I am such a.
Speaker 1: She's a bitchy slag and a bitch slag.
Speaker 4: And honestly put that on my fucking tombstone.
Speaker 1: Bitchy slag, bitchy slack.
Speaker 3: I think I think people in the UK have well,
Speaker 3: they love Nando's, but I'm saying they have better courses.
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely. They call each other a conte and it's
Speaker 1: sort of like so playful.
Speaker 4: Well, I say count in my show, and my my
Speaker 4: producer out here was like, you know, we actually say
Speaker 4: cunt all the time.
Speaker 1: They do.
Speaker 3: They do I know, and they know that Americans hate it?
Speaker 3: What why do Americans hate it?
Speaker 4: I wonder because Americans are fucking prude.
Speaker 1: You're so uptighted.
Speaker 4: But actually, I will say this is gonna be really controversial.
Speaker 1: What I'm about to say. Good say it here, we
Speaker 1: need to click, I will say.
Speaker 4: Being and I felt this way even when I I
Speaker 4: love London, Okay, I love.
Speaker 1: The city, yes, love the town.
Speaker 4: But I felt this way even when I was there
Speaker 4: for like January and February. And I really feel this
Speaker 4: way being in Scotland. I am proud to be an American.
Speaker 3: Europe has a thing about it, and I think every
Speaker 3: other continent in a way where after a while you
Speaker 3: go take me back to the States, you know, and
Speaker 3: I'm just.
Speaker 4: Like, I'm like, yeah, I'm a loud American horror.
Speaker 1: Greta was screaming on the streets earlier. Where's ketchup?
Speaker 4: I want to ketchup?
Speaker 3: I'm such a whore for this stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm a whore. I'm a fucking whore. Fuck you.
Speaker 2: I want some ketchup for my French fries.
Speaker 1: Freedom fries. Catch up for.
Speaker 3: Right right? Agree with this.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud to be an American man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the thing patriotism is back, and it's not just
Speaker 3: further right. I think the left should embrace patriotism, really
Speaker 3: reclaim it.
Speaker 4: I think that if the left embraced patriotism, we'd be
Speaker 4: in a better place.
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 4: Look, we're fucked up, we are. And what family is
Speaker 4: and what family.
Speaker 3: Isn't and what family isn't that's a rule of culture,
Speaker 3: exactly number fifty seven America.
Speaker 1: We're fucking fucked up.
Speaker 3: But what isn't?
Speaker 1: Now that's really good.
Speaker 3: And now I remember the day, just to go back
Speaker 3: to kunt I remember the day. It was the sixth
Speaker 3: grade and at lunch it was like somehow the word
Speaker 3: had gotten in, had broken in to the other kids
Speaker 3: at lunch and they were like, we just found out
Speaker 3: about the worst word you can possibly say.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what is it?
Speaker 3: The F word? They go, it's worse than the F word.
Speaker 3: I go, what what could it be? They're like, if
Speaker 3: you call someone this, you're dead. Well they were like,
Speaker 3: they have the right to fucking beat the shit out
Speaker 3: of you if you call them you call them this.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, tell me I need
Speaker 3: to know now. Yeah, and then when I found out
Speaker 3: what it was. I said, that's just a sound. Not
Speaker 3: not to reduce it to that, you know, but it's
Speaker 3: like I was like, cunt. I guess it does linguistically
Speaker 3: have a tough it's fricative, it ends on, it starts
Speaker 3: on a cut, it ends on a to like. It
Speaker 3: does sound weird coming out of the mouth. But why
Speaker 3: do Americans have an issue with it and not Brett's And.
Speaker 4: I genuinely have no idea.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I just well, I just wanted to put
Speaker 3: it to the to the group.
Speaker 1: You know my question.
Speaker 4: Do you remember both obviously both of you, when you
Speaker 4: first started incorporating curse words into your vocabulary.
Speaker 1: I got in trouble for it in kindergarten.
Speaker 3: Really, oh my god, I got in trouble for it
Speaker 3: the first month of school in America.
Speaker 4: Really wait, I need to know what you said and
Speaker 4: to know what you go first.
Speaker 2: So I was in kinder garden, which means I was five,
Speaker 2: and for some reason I became fixated on using three
Speaker 2: words and doing one hand gesture.
Speaker 1: The words were damn, hell an ass.
Speaker 3: What was the hand gesture?
Speaker 1: It was the middle finger.
Speaker 2: Oh god, I couldn't wrap my head around stopping doing
Speaker 2: it like someone would act out to me in kindergarten,
Speaker 2: like we'd get into like a squabble or something like
Speaker 2: I don't know, like we both wanted to use the
Speaker 2: fucking blue crayon or something, and I would just go
Speaker 2: and stick my middle finger right in the face. And
Speaker 2: then of course they all tattled on me. They all
Speaker 2: ran to missus Smith, ancient teacher, and she was like, Matthew,
Speaker 2: you have to stop doing that. And I would say,
Speaker 2: damn you, damn, damn damn, and I would say, oh hell,
Speaker 2: and I would say my ass, like this hurts my ass,
Speaker 2: like kiss my ass. I was just saying things like
Speaker 2: that I five years old, terrifying. I could find pictures
Speaker 2: of me at five. Just imagine this little boy just
Speaker 2: like using pro.
Speaker 3: It was hilarious.
Speaker 2: It was then my teacher fucking nailed me with this one.
Speaker 1: She said.
Speaker 2: She she wrote a note and she said, Matthew, this
Speaker 2: is a note about how good you're doing in class.
Speaker 1: Give this to your parents when you get home.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: I didn't even read it. I gave it.
Speaker 2: I literally handed my own, like fucking death certificate to
Speaker 2: my parents, who read it back to me. I'll never
Speaker 2: forget my stay sat. It was one of my earliest memories.
Speaker 2: They sat me down on the bed in my room
Speaker 2: and they looked at me and they were so disappointed.
Speaker 2: And they read the note, and I remember my dad goes,
Speaker 2: Matthew has been using the words damn, hell and a
Speaker 2: S S.
Speaker 3: Couldn't even he.
Speaker 1: Spelt out ass. And then he goes and he has
Speaker 1: been using the middle finger.
Speaker 2: And I and you know, I was in trouble. You
Speaker 2: want to know what my punishment? My mother said, you
Speaker 2: know what you're that? She that she I wasn't allowed
Speaker 2: to turn on the radio for a week. Wow, you
Speaker 2: know I carried on. I said, I said, well, where
Speaker 2: the fuck do you think I learned it?
Speaker 1: You slags?
Speaker 2: And they said you better watch your tone, mister, Yes,
Speaker 2: I said, I said, you bitches better beware.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: When what happened when you were an eight year old
Speaker 2: transplant immigrant?
Speaker 1: Really immigrant?
Speaker 3: Well it's not really quite as dramatic, but it was recess.
Speaker 3: We were playing four square I think a ball was
Speaker 3: Does four square have balls in it?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: So then like someone one ball, someone like tossed or
Speaker 3: you know, slapped the ball in my direction and it
Speaker 3: hit me in the rear in the rear and I said,
Speaker 3: you hit my ass And I was just being anatomically no, well,
Speaker 3: I was being anatomically correct. But then of course these
Speaker 3: fucking kids like tattled.
Speaker 1: What is with.
Speaker 4: The psychology of a tattle?
Speaker 1: I never got it. I never never got it.
Speaker 4: It doesn't make you look cool, and honestly, it makes
Speaker 4: you look lame to your teachers. Like if I was
Speaker 4: a teacher and a tattle came up to me, I
Speaker 4: would be like, honey, you look bad.
Speaker 3: No, you are your fucking narc Yeah, bitch, yeah, get
Speaker 3: out my face, Get out my face.
Speaker 4: Parent, I would call a parent and I would say, hey,
Speaker 4: guess what, you have a kid that's a tattle.
Speaker 1: So what happened? And then did they taddle on you?
Speaker 3: I went to the principal's office. I didn't do it
Speaker 3: was just the principle was. I didn't realize what a
Speaker 3: big deal this was. Like in Canada, like no one
Speaker 3: really went to the principal's office, I guess, but I
Speaker 3: went to the principal's office and then she was just like,
Speaker 3: you can't be saying these words, and we're gonna have
Speaker 3: to I think they My parents also got a note,
Speaker 3: but then my parents. My parents were like what like
Speaker 3: they like didn't really care, didn't.
Speaker 1: Really get it.
Speaker 3: But it was a route awakening. I said, Oh, America,
Speaker 3: America has a problem. I was eight years old, and
Speaker 3: I thought that you knew that our culture was stunted. Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: well you have to understand. And I keep saying this,
Speaker 3: like I moved to Colorado right after Monica Lewinsky, John
Speaker 3: Benet Ramsey and Columnie. So I'm over here as a child,
Speaker 3: going America is fucked up, and we're I'm going is
Speaker 3: the state where people get killed? I'm not I'm not
Speaker 3: even joking, Like I was like, this is a bad place.
Speaker 4: I last night at my show, my show, well wait
Speaker 4: really quickly, not that anyone asked, but the first time
Speaker 4: I got busted doing anything. First adjacent, I was flicking
Speaker 4: off my French a pair and I would and whenever,
Speaker 4: whenever she would turn her back to me, I would
Speaker 4: just go both.
Speaker 1: I would do both. And I hated her. Her name.
Speaker 4: Her name was Olivia, and I fucking hated.
Speaker 3: Her, I know.
Speaker 4: And I would do double flicks and I would I
Speaker 4: would cross them like an X.
Speaker 1: People do that. That looks sheep crossing the middle fingers
Speaker 1: there's nothing like just giving up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I my mom loved to give people the finger,
Speaker 4: like when we were in the car, always giving people
Speaker 4: the finger. I love giving the finger too.
Speaker 2: I'll never forget the first time I heard my mom
Speaker 2: say fuck. It was because we were in the car
Speaker 2: and there was like a traffic thing and it was
Speaker 2: like involuntar. She was like, the fuck and I was
Speaker 2: just like, and I remember I got all right just
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't believe you would use that language.
Speaker 2: And I remember I was like seven, and I was
Speaker 2: just like I was probably just like trying out being dramatic,
Speaker 2: but I was like we got home, I slammed the door.
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't want to talk to you.
Speaker 2: You aren't marred in my eyes, like you forget it, Mom, Like.
Speaker 1: I thought, person than you are not.
Speaker 2: And then I remember one time we were out to
Speaker 2: dinner at TGI Fridays, my dad, my dad, my mom,
Speaker 2: my sister, I and two other families and the guys
Speaker 2: were like, you know, knocking back beers at TGI Fridays
Speaker 2: like you do in the suburbs, and they said fuck
Speaker 2: a lot loud at the dinner table, and I called
Speaker 2: a family meeting. When I got home, I called a
Speaker 2: family meeting with the four of us, everyone down. I said,
Speaker 2: it was so disgusting the language that was used tonight
Speaker 2: at TGI Fridays. What I saw tonight was not my family,
Speaker 2: and I don't want to be associated with that type
Speaker 2: of language.
Speaker 1: And I know what it is.
Speaker 2: It's Uncle George. He's a bad influence on you. And
Speaker 2: I see you going down the drain. I see you dwindling.
Speaker 2: And the behavior that I witnessed was Uncle George.
Speaker 5: Like, was Uncle George George like? The Uncle George Georg
Speaker 5: jumped out and then I jump back in a did
Speaker 5: that so dramatic?
Speaker 1: I just wanted to run the show.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to call him euting, send everyone down,
Speaker 2: and be like, look at me when I talk.
Speaker 4: I used to hold my parents' friends hostage after dinner
Speaker 4: parties and make them watch me dance in our living
Speaker 4: room to back in the USSR.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Bow was a performer.
Speaker 3: I was not really was the young performing.
Speaker 1: I'm you this special sidekick.
Speaker 3: What I remember is one day we had a video
Speaker 3: cassette recorder and Yang would just like improvise little sketches
Speaker 3: and talk shows. And we would just record each other
Speaker 3: on the cassette player and we would like speed it
Speaker 3: up and get give ourselves Chipmunk voice. She really like
Speaker 3: ran the show in that way, but we were more
Speaker 3: about it's so funny. We were only about the audio
Speaker 3: and not necessarily about the visual.
Speaker 1: Very podcast very. That was when we should have known
Speaker 1: that you'd be a podcaster. That's right, critically acclaimed, critically acclaimed.
Speaker 4: Wait, last night at my show, that's the very end
Speaker 4: of my show. My tech like got on the microphone
Speaker 4: and was like, I'm so sorry to abruptly on the
Speaker 4: show like this, but we it's been.
Speaker 7: An emergency evacuation and we all need to evacuate the
Speaker 7: building now.
Speaker 2: Literally We'll just finished her last song that was probably
Speaker 2: two and a half minutes after in the show, and
Speaker 2: he was like, we have to evacuate, and me and
Speaker 2: American and both of us wet, like, oh, there's for
Speaker 2: sure a gun like.
Speaker 1: Active shooter to get your stuff. Acually about it. This
Speaker 1: is what happened.
Speaker 4: But when we were walking out, I overheard someone being like,
Speaker 4: I wonder what happened. Somebody probably got sick, And I
Speaker 4: was like wow that.
Speaker 1: We're like it's we're all getting guns.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like our mind immediately was like, oh, that's the
Speaker 4: Scottish woman, like someone's probably.
Speaker 1: Someone's probably someone fell ill.
Speaker 4: Yeah, someone probably fell ill.
Speaker 1: You know there's some drunk people. Someone built a beverage
Speaker 1: evacuate the premises. Oh yeah wow.
Speaker 3: I mean that sounds to night. I would trade that
Speaker 3: for anything in America one.
Speaker 4: But I think it was just our ingrained feeling of
Speaker 4: being like the second we hear emergency evacuation, it's like
Speaker 4: either truly like you know, airborne chemical warfare in my mind,
Speaker 4: or like a gun an air born chemical war. Don't
Speaker 4: even get me started, honey. I have I have been
Speaker 4: so low. I've had so many highs and lows here
Speaker 4: and in my lows because there is no like you know,
Speaker 4: we we have Netflix and then like Amazon and you
Speaker 4: know what, I've started watching and I'm on season two already.
Speaker 4: Jack Ryan storrys, that's fair. It's not culture. I would say,
Speaker 4: I would say culture except for what's her face obsessed?
Speaker 4: Because in every single thing me, repase is in. It's
Speaker 4: always like like John Krisinski hits on her.
Speaker 7: In this way, I being like, it's like, hey, I
Speaker 7: ever heard you speaking English? French and Italian and she
Speaker 7: justs she was and Swedish.
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 1: Cracking up at that.
Speaker 4: I'm just like, what is this? What is this writing?
Speaker 1: She brings it up out of knowing.
Speaker 2: She goes, you know, who's such a weird actress? I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, I said, you said interesting, interesting, interesting.
Speaker 3: Well, I think we're the first people to talk about
Speaker 3: Numi in decades.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because she had a moment when she was girl
Speaker 4: with dragon tattoos.
Speaker 2: And don't forget she was the star of Prometheus. One
Speaker 2: of my No one knows this, but.
Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite films is that culture. Culture.
Speaker 3: Emetheis culture.
Speaker 2: Absolutely anything where Charlie has like like a cunty haircut
Speaker 2: and she's the villain and she gets to run away
Speaker 2: from a crashing building and gets crushed by a building.
Speaker 1: That's culture to me.
Speaker 4: Well is culture not John Krasinski playing a very questionable agent,
Speaker 4: fucking Abby Cornish.
Speaker 1: That is D list city. No oh, no, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you who Abby Cornish is.
Speaker 2: Abby Cornish is allegedly the girl that Ryan Phillippy left
Speaker 2: Reese for their spoon four.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's probably her biggest claim to fame.
Speaker 3: She was in The Bright star movie, Sad, Sad to
Speaker 3: have your fame be somewhere like two degrees away from
Speaker 3: race still and Ryan. We love Ryan obviously, but he
Speaker 3: really did race dirty?
Speaker 4: Yeah he did. But Ryan, I love Ryan.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Did they do each other dirty? I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was confirmed that there was.
Speaker 2: She didn't think I just didn't work out because they
Speaker 2: were so very They were like six and seven when
Speaker 2: they had the Yeah, they were so young.
Speaker 4: I mean Reese was pregnant in cruel intentions?
Speaker 1: What I think?
Speaker 4: Yes, she was pregnant in the scene in his Baby
Speaker 4: with his baby. She is pregnant. In the scene in
Speaker 4: the pool with his baby. She is in a one
Speaker 4: piece and she is pregnant in that movie.
Speaker 3: Reese Witherspoon in a pool is powerful because it's legally
Speaker 3: blonde too. During the ocations video, Yes so good.
Speaker 2: They're saying that had she gotten in the pool in
Speaker 2: Morning Show season two, and that would have been her Emmy.
Speaker 2: By the way, to you seek the trailer for Morning
Speaker 2: Show Season three.
Speaker 3: I did not. Should I watch it now?
Speaker 2: I didn't?
Speaker 1: Yeah, why don't you watch it right now? Okay? Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: So Bowen is gonna pull up the trailer for Morning
Speaker 2: Show Season three.
Speaker 3: I have not seen a full episode of this program.
Speaker 1: That's okay. I want you to know.
Speaker 2: It's it's two people's favorite show, Me and Greta's husband,
Speaker 2: Abe Schwartz.
Speaker 1: It's this show, and it's our favorite show.
Speaker 2: And the readers know that I come on this podcast
Speaker 2: every week and I give a Morning Show update, and
Speaker 2: I don't know if the show is as good as
Speaker 2: my updates, but it's at least close.
Speaker 1: And please give this show a chance. Like is it
Speaker 1: a comedy? Is a drama?
Speaker 2: The answer is no. It exists in its own tone,
Speaker 2: It exists in its own like sort of genre.
Speaker 3: It's really it's really wild. They gave Greta Lee a
Speaker 3: terrible haircut.
Speaker 1: They gave her a terrible haircut. Everyone has a bad haircut. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch and if you can play it out loud,
Speaker 1: play it out loud?
Speaker 3: Can you hear it?
Speaker 1: No, it's okay, all right.
Speaker 4: So while he's watching, I found this at a charity
Speaker 4: shop here and get this.
Speaker 1: I'm reading it.
Speaker 4: It's so funny.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, is she signed?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: Okay, So, while Bowen is watching the Morning Show season
Speaker 2: three trailer. I'm gonna tell you, Gret, I just pulled
Speaker 2: out this.
Speaker 1: What is this?
Speaker 2: Joan Rivers's autobiography, One of Joan rivers books. One of
Speaker 2: Joan Rivers's books, and she found it at what a
Speaker 2: charity shop in Edinburgh? Open up the front cover sign
Speaker 2: signed to Lorraine from the Botox Clinic staff Love Joe. Wow,
Speaker 2: cracking chills here in Edinburgh.
Speaker 4: She is so funny. This first chapter is so deeply funny.
Speaker 1: And this is just something you can buy, like something
Speaker 1: that's signed by Joe. Like how much was this?
Speaker 4: Three pounds? Reading this sentence?
Speaker 2: Every ten seconds in America someone turns fifty, and too
Speaker 2: many of these people think it is time to call
Speaker 2: doctor to Workian the only doctor who still makes house calls.
Speaker 1: I don't actually get it.
Speaker 3: What are you guys looking at?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: So I was at a charity shop with Ruby and
Speaker 4: we found this Joan Rivers book. Don't count the candles,
Speaker 4: count the candles, just keep the fire lit. Okay, A
Speaker 4: signed mind book Lorraine from the Bowtop, next stop Joan.
Speaker 4: And it is really laugh out loud funny. This bitch
Speaker 4: is so so Let me read you the first sentence.
Speaker 4: Are you ready let me say straight off, aging sucks.
Speaker 1: I'm hilarious.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm hooked. I'm in. I don't understand
Speaker 3: the doctor I don't understand the doctor Covorkiana.
Speaker 1: What's the doctor Covorkian thing?
Speaker 4: Welloran, he makes like he would if you wanted to
Speaker 4: because he kills you.
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't know that was part of it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought he did what we don't know.
Speaker 4: Doctor Covorkian was dubbed quote doctor death. Okay, my mom
Speaker 4: had a stalker when she was working in the Pennsylvania
Speaker 4: government and he wrote up a fake doctor Kworkian death
Speaker 4: certificate for my mom. Isn't that fucked up anyway?
Speaker 1: That's scary.
Speaker 4: Doctor Gregorkian was like he was way ahead of his time. Euthanasia.
Speaker 4: If you were if you were dying, if you had
Speaker 4: a terminal illness, degenerative disease, whatever, you.
Speaker 1: Could call him and he would come take care of it. Okay.
Speaker 1: So what she's saying is when people turn fifty, I
Speaker 1: think life is over. Yeah, okay, great, but.
Speaker 3: You know there are a couple of guys anatomy quotes
Speaker 3: where someone you know, George just killed someone in the
Speaker 3: O R they'd be like paging doctor Kavorkian and then
Speaker 3: they I.
Speaker 1: Got it, got it? God. Okay.
Speaker 2: So now that you've made it a Georgi O. Malley,
Speaker 2: I can understand it. What is your review of The
Speaker 2: Morning Show season three trailer?
Speaker 3: I'm intrigued. What is John Ham's role?
Speaker 1: No one knows yet.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, they make a big deal out of him
Speaker 3: being interviewed, and it's what is the last show that
Speaker 3: depicted New York City in an accurate, honest way, because
Speaker 3: it's like and just like that is pure fantasy. At
Speaker 3: this point, I feel like this is also a fantasy
Speaker 3: version of New York.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think of like the last show to
Speaker 4: really show New York. I mean, girls, that's really tough,
Speaker 4: but the girls, yeah, girls.
Speaker 5: Or.
Speaker 2: I think well, by the way, I do just want
Speaker 2: to say I actually stopped watching it just like that.
Speaker 2: I can't do it, really, I can't even do it
Speaker 2: as like it's not it's not fun enough.
Speaker 3: You missed Rosemary do it?
Speaker 1: Did? I?
Speaker 4: Yea? It is tough, Like the show is tough, but
Speaker 4: when you watch it from just when you watch it
Speaker 4: and you're like, Okay, I'm watching something that's purely camp
Speaker 4: like that's kind of the only way you can get through.
Speaker 2: I don't because I watched the first season like that,
Speaker 2: and I don't think it's good.
Speaker 1: I don't. I think it's bad.
Speaker 3: These people are even looking at the shot. I mean,
Speaker 3: the city view outside is clearly a backdrop, no problem, right,
Speaker 3: but it's literally you see it hit the floor of the.
Speaker 1: Sound stage and then is that true? Yes?
Speaker 3: Yes, And I implore all readers Katie's publicist finalists watch
Speaker 3: the most recent episode where you know, Aiden and Carrie
Speaker 3: are like in Ja's apartment, just like flirting or whatever.
Speaker 3: If you look at the city view, it hits the
Speaker 3: floor and you see gray concrete. I'm going these the
Speaker 3: people who make the show don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2: No, you know, but.
Speaker 4: Nothing grinds my gears more than the fact that Charlotte
Speaker 4: and Harry sleep in a full size bed. Yes, it
Speaker 4: is on to me. That is the most unbelievable thing
Speaker 4: about the show.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, hold the horn.
Speaker 4: You're telling me that Charlotte, who is supposed to live
Speaker 4: in a massive Upper east Side luxury apartment, is in
Speaker 4: a full with her husbands. You're smoking grass gras, Yes,
Speaker 4: you're smoking crack really is what you're what you're on,
Speaker 4: You're on reefer and crack, because that is just not true.
Speaker 4: And also, you know what else isn't true? Miranda sleeping
Speaker 4: in like a twin x L sound owned booth at
Speaker 4: her friend's house. I say, girl, get it to get her.
Speaker 1: You're embarrassing.
Speaker 3: What are they trying to do? I think they're trying
Speaker 3: to do something there by putting all of like by
Speaker 3: putting Miranda, Carrie and Charlotte in like small beds, because
Speaker 3: Carrie's back in the old apartment in her old beds,
Speaker 3: which is also these women, these women have tasted the
Speaker 3: highest heights and the most rarefied air. They would not
Speaker 3: put up with this.
Speaker 4: Also, this show is supposed to be aspirational. Show me
Speaker 4: a bed, I long for, Show me a bed, Show
Speaker 4: me a Hastings mattress with Frete she what's going on?
Speaker 4: You are giving? You were The duvet in Carrie's apartment
Speaker 4: is actually.
Speaker 3: From cology giving dorm. It's giving anthropology home and dorm apology.
Speaker 4: It's anthropology home, and it's it's offensive. Had I had
Speaker 4: better taste in my studio on twenty third and seventh
Speaker 4: Avenue in two thousand and nine.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, Well, here's the thing. I don't see a
Speaker 3: world in which it gets renewed, and I think this
Speaker 3: is really the last. This is the last of these
Speaker 3: women we're ever going to get, which is really sad
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 4: I agree, because I don't think that they would have
Speaker 4: brought in Samantha for this, you know, thirty second phone
Speaker 4: call that we're going to see because they can't. They
Speaker 4: cannot tease us with the notion of Samantha and then
Speaker 4: have us not get her for a third season. Like,
Speaker 4: if there is going to be a third season, I
Speaker 4: actually need Kim Katrell to I actually just want it
Speaker 4: to be about her in London. Honestly, if we're supposed
Speaker 4: to believe that's.
Speaker 3: What her life is, Oh my god, loud American whoror
Speaker 3: slash in London, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: Publicist energy.
Speaker 2: It seems like do you know what though, you know,
Speaker 2: what's one thing, it's like, thank god Samantha isn't on.
Speaker 1: And just like that, because what would they do to her?
Speaker 2: What would they if they've ruined all these characters this much?
Speaker 2: And I hate saying it, but like, yeah, what would
Speaker 2: they have done to Samantha?
Speaker 1: I guess we'll find out.
Speaker 2: I wonder if in the thirty second phone call they're
Speaker 2: able to desecrate Samantha Jones.
Speaker 3: I don't put it past them.
Speaker 4: I mean, don't put it past them.
Speaker 2: There's something cuckoo crazy.
Speaker 3: I'm bummed out about this.
Speaker 1: No. That's the thing is it's.
Speaker 2: Like even the first season wasn't like it wasn't sex
Speaker 2: in the City, but at least you could talk about
Speaker 2: it in like insane ways.
Speaker 1: Now it's just like the even the carry and Aiden stuff.
Speaker 2: It's like, I just what exactly are they saying about Harry, Like, like,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Is it that like she's falling back into another fantasy?
Speaker 2: Is it like, are we supposed to think like that
Speaker 2: big was actually this like thing that she made a
Speaker 2: mistake about years ago?
Speaker 1: Like or is she about to learn her new lesson?
Speaker 1: That's unclear thematically. I don't. I just can't find it right.
Speaker 4: I also don't understand how she can like verbalize out
Speaker 4: loud was big, a big mistake and then like we
Speaker 4: just never investigate that further.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I feel like what's being telegraphed so clearly
Speaker 3: and obviously is that like something goes wrong between her
Speaker 3: and Aiden, because so far there's been no conflict, there's
Speaker 3: been no hardship.
Speaker 4: Or maybe they are just ending the show and we
Speaker 4: are just ending the show with Oh now Carrie and
Speaker 4: Aiden move in together and that's it.
Speaker 3: Doesn't that feel sacrilegious?
Speaker 4: Though, yes, it feels sacrilegious. The whole thing feels sacrilegious also,
Speaker 4: like since one has carried. I mean, I know that
Speaker 4: Carrie was always a prude, but her whole thing was
Speaker 4: writing about sex and love and romance and stuff, and
Speaker 4: her now being like, don't talk about it, Oh God,
Speaker 4: don't tell me. Like I was like what, But then
Speaker 4: she was at lunch and said the word come. I
Speaker 4: was like, you guys are crazy. Make a decision about
Speaker 4: who this woman is. She's either the woman that can
Speaker 4: no longer talk about anything sexual, she can't even talk
Speaker 4: about a vagina.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but making a decision about who she is.
Speaker 2: She's one of the most well defined characters in the
Speaker 2: pop culture. Reason why are we even having this conversation?
Speaker 2: Like it's one thing for characters to like morphin change
Speaker 2: over time, but like she does it, none of them
Speaker 2: seem like themselves except I guess Charlotte.
Speaker 1: Charlotte, but no, she's not sleeping in a fall.
Speaker 4: Charlotte's not speaking in a fall.
Speaker 2: Charlotte wouldn't have fucked a guy in a fall. Like,
Speaker 2: let that be her wedding bed.
Speaker 3: You're so you guys are so right, Like these women
Speaker 3: would not tolerate a full sized bed or a twin
Speaker 3: in a fucking recording studio room.
Speaker 4: Also, you know what, honey, please like show me the
Speaker 4: Hampton's house, Like one of you has to have one,
Speaker 4: one of you has to have one. And by the way,
Speaker 4: I don't want to see Seema and Carrie doing a
Speaker 4: time share.
Speaker 1: Well you're not going to. Okay, that was one thing
Speaker 1: I let not going.
Speaker 2: One thing I liked was Seema being like, I need
Speaker 2: space from you because you make me feel bad.
Speaker 1: I loved that. Loved that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but I'm also going why because literally Carrie's
Speaker 3: like this the episode two episodes ago. The episode ends
Speaker 3: on Carrie like leaving her apartment and going and just
Speaker 3: like that, I went to meet you know, Aiden's kids
Speaker 3: or whatever the fuck in Virginia. Cut to the next episode.
Speaker 3: We're back in New York, which maybe it's like a
Speaker 3: New York show and that's why we don't see it.
Speaker 3: But I'm like, take us somewhere a little bit more provincial,
Speaker 3: like why not or pastoral or whatever.
Speaker 4: One of the most iconic episodes was La and also
Speaker 4: her going to Aiden's City Girl. In the What, she
Speaker 4: goes to his cabin and she freaks out and Samantha
Speaker 4: fucks like.
Speaker 3: The Yeah, is it just a budget thing? Do we
Speaker 3: think it's just budget?
Speaker 1: How can it possibly be right?
Speaker 4: Like? I just don't know. I mean, I feel like
Speaker 4: they blow a lot of the budget on the fashion.
Speaker 2: What fashion well, I mean which characters ring fashion lt W?
Speaker 2: I have news for you. There's difference between costume and fashion.
Speaker 2: My girl is still living on Sesame Street.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's I've seen big Bird come out in things
Speaker 8: that could be the met Gala compared to what LTW
Speaker 8: looks like, Wow.
Speaker 1: Wait moment.
Speaker 4: Are you drinking one of my all time top five
Speaker 4: favorite beverages, Triple X Vitamin Water.
Speaker 3: I asked my sister if she had gatorade because I
Speaker 3: need electrolytes, I need hydration. She said, I have Triple
Speaker 3: X Vitamin W.
Speaker 4: Yes, she does dragon fruit. Dragon fruit.
Speaker 3: I haven't had this since high school, and I'm loving it.
Speaker 4: It is a treat and a half. Vitamin water goes
Speaker 4: down as one of my most favorite inventions.
Speaker 1: I liked the dragonfruit a lot.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have a joke in my show about vitamin water.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, let's talk about vitamin water for a second,
Speaker 3: because do you all remember. Do y'all remember when vitamin
Speaker 3: water stepped onto the world stage because it was a moment.
Speaker 4: Yes, it honestly changed culture. Vita water, I will say changed.
Speaker 3: Culture because guess what you're going You're reading the labels.
Speaker 3: You're laughing out loud going through this.
Speaker 1: This is so funny. Yeah, I think Tina fe Tina
Speaker 1: fet I think.
Speaker 4: Did I think he sent reached out to miss Fay
Speaker 4: and said, hey, mama, love your jokes.
Speaker 1: Does have sent on vitamin water?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 4: I think he was an investor in vitamin water. It
Speaker 4: was like he was Curtiss.
Speaker 3: Now, what really rocked my world was the lemonade.
Speaker 4: Oh, everyone freaked it for the lemonade. Everyone freaked it
Speaker 4: for the lemonade too, because you could it was delicious
Speaker 4: with a splash of one might say, very inexpensive vodka.
Speaker 3: You're so right, Oh my god, in a really interesting time.
Speaker 1: I really did we really did. Sorry, Greg, We're gonna
Speaker 1: stick so no.
Speaker 4: I was just gonna say, two thousand and five kind
Speaker 4: of the year of vitamin water in many ways, the.
Speaker 3: Year of vitamin water, the year of Mike sparred lemonade,
Speaker 3: the year of off ice. For I would say, sparks.
Speaker 4: You remember sparks that was up in two thousand and four.
Speaker 2: Anybody, I just want to say, I forget what I
Speaker 2: said about the four logo because that was later ten wrong.
Speaker 5: I think, correct you what you did sparks was illegal.
Speaker 1: It is I think for locals illegal. Sparks is legal
Speaker 1: for local in their new their new.
Speaker 4: Iteration formulations, different Sparks was literally a red bull mixed
Speaker 4: with malt liquor. And it was crazy. And I used
Speaker 4: to hide. I used to hide, can't I had a
Speaker 4: hot box in my room growing up, and I used
Speaker 4: to hide cans of sparks in my house.
Speaker 2: Wait, Gretta said. Greta showed me the most fucked up,
Speaker 2: stupid picture of her with four modellos taped to her
Speaker 2: body under a house. It sneaked into Madison Square Garden
Speaker 2: to see what artists.
Speaker 4: I think we were just going to uh, I know,
Speaker 4: I think I was actually going to a hockey game.
Speaker 3: Jesus, So you smuggled in the modello I did.
Speaker 2: I can show you the pick, I'll say, honestly, that
Speaker 2: should be the photo for the episode this week.
Speaker 4: I'll send with you. It's really good. Yeah, I remember
Speaker 4: my mom found my sparks. My mom takes it out
Speaker 4: of My mom just goes, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 4: And I explained it to her and she looked at
Speaker 4: me and she was like, there's something really wrong with
Speaker 4: you and then just put it back in the hat box.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, do you think she should have punished
Speaker 3: you more?
Speaker 4: No, she was, she was over it. She was just
Speaker 4: like I was telling Matt, we were talking about things.
Speaker 4: We're talking about things our moms would say this morning,
Speaker 4: and my mom would always just be like enough with me,
Speaker 4: enough enough.
Speaker 2: Greta said that basically Maria's I don't think so, honey. Yeah,
Speaker 2: would be y'all with all your milks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, explain, would not tolerate the milks.
Speaker 4: No, she would just be like, this is enough. This
Speaker 4: is so fucking crazy. She drink drink skim milk like
Speaker 4: a lady, or don't have any milk at all.
Speaker 1: Take it, take it black.
Speaker 3: I think we are a critical match with milk, Like
Speaker 3: there's no need for a new kind of milk. I
Speaker 3: think there's there's a milk for every occasion.
Speaker 4: It also gets embarrassing, like imagine, I mean, they make it,
Speaker 4: but it's like going out being like, can I get
Speaker 4: the Can I get a pistachio almond milk latte?
Speaker 1: Like grow up, grow up?
Speaker 3: Although Starbucks Macha latte with coconut milk is heaven, you
Speaker 3: feel like you're on an islands.
Speaker 4: Coconut milk.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'm just saying I love it.
Speaker 4: I would like to say coconut milk has been around
Speaker 4: for a very very very very very long time. Coconut
Speaker 4: milk is not new. The girls milk saying the newer girls,
Speaker 4: I'm saying the Macadamian ut girls. I'm saying hemp seed girls.
Speaker 4: I'm saying pumpkin seed milk. I'm saying pistachio milk. I'm saying,
Speaker 4: it's like, come.
Speaker 3: On, pumpkin seed.
Speaker 1: I've never heard of that before.
Speaker 4: Would they had it at Irving the Irving Farm, Irving Farm, Yeah,
Speaker 4: they had it there.
Speaker 3: That sounds like it takes a million a million dollars
Speaker 3: to make it fucking condensed the pumpkin seed into milk
Speaker 3: worse than almond milk. It's probably the energy expenditure is
Speaker 3: probably crazy. You're right, Maria. Maria is right, and.
Speaker 2: Those really are my two friends. You can talk about
Speaker 2: such interesting milks.
Speaker 4: I have a question for the choir. Since this show
Speaker 4: is about culture, do you feel that they're likely story
Speaker 4: Do you feel that there is a perfect television show
Speaker 4: that didn't ever go wrong in seasons and seasons and seasons.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that pretty unimpeachable.
Speaker 1: I mean, for me, mad Men was pretty unimpeachable mad Men.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say something kind of sure, like I roll,
Speaker 3: but I have been getting back into Seinfeld and I'm like, God,
Speaker 3: this is this, this works. It's timeless.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it really is timeless.
Speaker 2: More recently, I don't know everything has everything neither goes
Speaker 2: on too long or like ruins itself? Did you?
Speaker 3: I didn't know that the four of them blocked themselves
Speaker 3: on Seinfeld. They did their own they they like would
Speaker 3: they would all walk on and like they walk into
Speaker 3: Jerry's apartment and be like, okay, I think George would
Speaker 3: go here and like, you know, eat some Cereal over here.
Speaker 3: He's just talking to Elaine, Elaine sitting down on the
Speaker 3: couch like they were. They were all just like so
Speaker 3: like we got this, Like the directors so magic, I know,
Speaker 3: I know. And then like the fact that the four
Speaker 3: of them are all from different backgrounds. Jerry from stand
Speaker 3: up you know, Julia from sketch, Jason from theater, and
Speaker 3: I guess like Michael from he's stand up character actor.
Speaker 3: Oh he's a stand up he was. He was okay, great,
Speaker 3: I mean, but it's like they had such it's so
Speaker 3: it's such. That is like when casting was oh perfect,
Speaker 3: like you've got you got these four people exactly right,
Speaker 3: and they carry the show together equally and it's like
Speaker 3: it's never one person over the other.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2: Even like well back in the day, like the multi
Speaker 2: cam of it all, when when some of those shows
Speaker 2: would really work, they would really like Cheers if you
Speaker 2: ever watched old Cheers, like Cheers, like Heaven really worked,
Speaker 2: like say what you Will about friends, friends really work,
Speaker 2: Will and Grace really works, Will.
Speaker 1: And Grace really worked.
Speaker 3: Just shoot me, I loved and too freakin' But with friends,
Speaker 3: it is like, yes, say what you will. It is
Speaker 3: like they found six hot people were so fucking funny
Speaker 3: and believably friends, like, no problem, I'm watching that's yeah,
Speaker 3: that's why it's a cultural phenomenon.
Speaker 2: I really feel like sometimes I do feel like I
Speaker 2: missed my calling, my era for multikim.
Speaker 1: I feel like I would have loved maybe I think so.
Speaker 3: We would have all nailed. I'm sorry to say this,
Speaker 3: and this sounds so fucking stupid and masturbatory. We would
Speaker 3: have all nailed multiicim.
Speaker 1: You nail multikim now. But I want nominated multi camp perform.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, it's different.
Speaker 1: I want multi Emmy nominated multi camp performer.
Speaker 3: I want multi cam where I'm playing a character.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we can do that.
Speaker 4: Let's do it. Let's pitch a show two Guys and
Speaker 4: a Girl above a pizza parlor.
Speaker 2: Yes, if you if the three of us rebooted two
Speaker 2: Guys and a Girl, and you don't.
Speaker 3: Think you're bitting war down period.
Speaker 4: I mean, I always wanted to be on Boy Meets
Speaker 4: World like ill.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, loved it, loved it, And of.
Speaker 4: Course I wanted to be Lizzie McGuire, But who didn't
Speaker 4: Everyone wanted to be Liszy.
Speaker 3: Everyone wanted to be Lizzy. I was team Lindsay. Not
Speaker 3: that Lindsay was ever in the you know, sitcom space,
Speaker 3: but it was.
Speaker 4: The may you rest. It was the Aaron Carter kind
Speaker 4: of controversy between Hillary and Lindsay. And all right, you
Speaker 4: know I I do have some piping hot T T
Speaker 4: T on the teens of that time.
Speaker 1: What not?
Speaker 3: Well, we can't.
Speaker 4: I don't think. I don't think.
Speaker 3: It's like the horse scandal.
Speaker 4: Wait, can I ask one more question now? Now I'm
Speaker 4: in control of the podcast. Now, Yes, me and Ruby
Speaker 4: have been talking about this a lot. Ruby's my roommate here.
Speaker 1: Happy birthday.
Speaker 4: Ruby Ruby an iconic Leo woman, a lioness.
Speaker 3: She is one of the best.
Speaker 2: We have see her show Tragedy at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Speaker 1: Sorry your question.
Speaker 4: I think I've been going back and forth on this.
Speaker 4: If you and these are like really dumb, big questions,
Speaker 4: but when we're trying to get our mind off of
Speaker 4: spiraling into extreme existentialism, we are just like whatever. If
Speaker 4: you had to pick a band, I mean, we're doing
Speaker 4: it by decade, So I'm going to ask you, like,
Speaker 4: in a band from two thousand to twenty ten, a band,
Speaker 4: a singer, whatever, that you could be. But I don't
Speaker 4: mean just on stage. I meant be in their life.
Speaker 4: Who would you have chosen from that time?
Speaker 2: If I could be someone that was in a band
Speaker 2: during that time two thousand to two thousand.
Speaker 3: Ten, you mean like if you could hang out with
Speaker 3: the band.
Speaker 4: No, like I am, I am Christina Aguilera who switch Foot?
Speaker 3: I was absessed with Switchbook.
Speaker 4: Aren't they Christian?
Speaker 1: Yeah they are Christian? Yeah? Tude?
Speaker 3: But it was a walk to remember. It hooked me
Speaker 3: and I was like, is this singer okay?
Speaker 1: Beautiful?
Speaker 3: Truly gorgeous?
Speaker 1: I actually I think I have my answer.
Speaker 2: Okay, So two thousand to twenty ten, Yeah, during this time,
Speaker 2: a band that was cool and had a lot of
Speaker 2: potential and would yeah, I would be Adam Levine because
Speaker 2: also in Adam Levine's straight body guarantee, you like he
Speaker 2: was fucking models.
Speaker 4: He was just like he's still fucking a model.
Speaker 2: Well yes, but like at the time when he was
Speaker 2: like a single guy, yeah, he probably was.
Speaker 3: Like but remember the alien and I remember the.
Speaker 2: First time I ever saw him. The first time I
Speaker 2: ever saw Adam Levine, I think I was like twelve
Speaker 2: or thirteen when I first heard harder to breathe, and.
Speaker 1: I said, who is singing this? I have to find
Speaker 1: out right now.
Speaker 2: I love his I thought it was justin Timberlake, and
Speaker 2: then I come to find out it was Adam Levine.
Speaker 2: Then I watched this love music video. I thought, he
Speaker 2: is so fucking hot. I was so into him. I
Speaker 2: would be him if I could go back.
Speaker 3: Yes, that is the perfect answer for Matt. Wasn't he
Speaker 3: like wearing suits back in the day like that?
Speaker 2: He was so Their first album songs about Jane would I.
Speaker 4: Would say, one of the best albums from that deck.
Speaker 3: It is so good it won't be soon before long.
Speaker 3: Their second they had a great sophomore album too.
Speaker 2: Yes they did it, had that song all the really
Speaker 2: good and I love that and I loved them. And
Speaker 2: then they I think they just went like pop cringe,
Speaker 2: which like say what you want, Like they they touched
Speaker 2: in on the ability to do.
Speaker 1: That that's a pop sound. Yeah, they all did it,
Speaker 1: but they fully did it and then became you know,
Speaker 1: Moroon five.
Speaker 2: But back in the day, they really actually were cool
Speaker 2: and he was so hot to me.
Speaker 1: I loved everything about him.
Speaker 2: I literally couldn't control myself when I saw him I
Speaker 2: was like, that guy is my crush.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they did snl they and they sang. That
Speaker 3: was the first time I heard this love and I
Speaker 3: was like, this song is amazing. Who is that guy
Speaker 3: in a in a fucking suit? It was so funny. Yeah, unrecognizable.
Speaker 4: That was the time when like a lot of those
Speaker 4: bands were doing this suit thing, like remember like the Vines,
Speaker 4: remember like that whole genre of indie rock.
Speaker 2: That was also justin Timberlake doing top doing shoot and time,
Speaker 2: literally shoot and type branding himself what was Yes, But yeah,
Speaker 2: that was like guys were cool.
Speaker 3: Guys were cool. I would have also I would have
Speaker 3: also been I don't know if this counts, Greta and
Speaker 3: we need to hear your answer, okay, but I would
Speaker 3: have loved to be like Sophia and Stevens in that era.
Speaker 4: Oh no, that that counts. Like, like my pick is
Speaker 4: Karen O. I would have loved to have been Karen.
Speaker 4: Oh two thousand to two thousand.
Speaker 1: Didn't we think we saw her? We did?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: Where were we? Oh my god, we saw Karen.
Speaker 4: And Matt kept on I was freaking out and that she.
Speaker 1: Was being insane. She got up.
Speaker 2: We were we were at the table next to next
Speaker 2: time you were and I have to tell you you
Speaker 2: were being crazy table and stands. She stands staring at
Speaker 2: this woman. And that's one cool thing about me is
Speaker 2: I'm so uncool.
Speaker 1: I don't know who Karen Oh is.
Speaker 2: So Greta is staring at this woman, and I thought,
Speaker 2: do you have like a vendetta against this family? It
Speaker 2: was giving Psycho killer and then I'm like Karen, I
Speaker 2: dragged her out and she goes, that was Karen Oh.
Speaker 1: He was like, oh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like Karen Oh, well, I mean still is.
Speaker 4: But of that time was no one was cooler, Like,
Speaker 4: no one was cooler than Karen O you, no one
Speaker 4: was her stage presence. She kind of just like weird
Speaker 4: like Bowie, like Artie, like I don't know, kind of
Speaker 4: byorky vibe. It's just like she was so many things
Speaker 4: in one body. And I love the Aas. I love
Speaker 4: their music so much, and I just like they're so
Speaker 4: good live like they're just I mean, they still are.
Speaker 1: But you know that's answer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that is That is my two thousand and
Speaker 4: twenty ten answer. Obviously I would not want to be
Speaker 4: this person, but of course we're so curious what was
Speaker 4: it like to be a pop girl y at that time.
Speaker 4: I don't want to know because it was awful and
Speaker 4: I would never want to be in that body.
Speaker 2: Yeah, terrible, No, terrible to be picked apart as much
Speaker 2: as they were, it's just crazy.
Speaker 4: Well, you have no autonomy, you have no control over
Speaker 4: your life period.
Speaker 3: But you know who like really took the reins and
Speaker 3: I'm not even joking. Many Moore was like, I'm not
Speaker 3: doing all this. Let me let me switch to acting
Speaker 3: and let me let me let me release the covers
Speaker 3: album for my third album. She went, I'm already gonna
Speaker 3: like pivot change direction. I'm already gonna do like covers,
Speaker 3: like I'm not gonna be a pop star. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do like can we still be friends?
Speaker 1: That? I'm like, that is a choice, and she picked
Speaker 1: cool music to it. She did not.
Speaker 2: One of those covers was like a one to one.
Speaker 2: This is what Mandy Moore at the time would be singing.
Speaker 1: It was like a little.
Speaker 4: Can I just say it's such a good voice.
Speaker 1: She has such a good.
Speaker 4: Nice she's a good one.
Speaker 3: She's important.
Speaker 1: Oh no, she's respected. She's an Emmy nominated actress who,
Speaker 1: by the.
Speaker 4: Way, walk to remember. As Bowen mentioned, but a few
Speaker 4: moments ago, breathtaking performance in sex film You.
Speaker 1: Got to rewatch saved, saved.
Speaker 4: Her layered haircut and saved is correct.
Speaker 2: The scene where she's like emphatically like praying is like,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she really went there. She really really
Speaker 2: Many Moore was a Christian actress.
Speaker 1: She was a Christian devout icon That cast in that
Speaker 1: film is saved.
Speaker 4: Amazing.
Speaker 1: Jet him alone, right him alone.
Speaker 4: Mcaulay Culkin, Susan Sarandon's daughter with the huge tits, Patrick.
Speaker 3: Fugit, Oh wow, Just to go really quickly back to
Speaker 3: a want to remember that. We don't talk about the
Speaker 3: iconography of this exchange. Shane West, I want to kiss you, Mandy.
Speaker 3: I think I might be bad at it. Shane. That's
Speaker 3: not possible.
Speaker 1: Not just promised not to fall in love with me.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Okay, what the way that I sobbed
Speaker 2: and sobbed.
Speaker 1: By the way, shout out to Adam Shankman, the director,
Speaker 1: shout out, we love you, ad him so.
Speaker 2: At the end of the movie when you hear her
Speaker 2: iconic hell always written, and then her love is.
Speaker 3: Like the wind wind.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't see it, but I can feel it.
Speaker 4: I can feel it. Yeah, Shane was.
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, see him hit him another way.
Speaker 2: He was a constant. He was a constantly come involuntary
Speaker 2: com You.
Speaker 4: Know what I will say that Shane West the one.
Speaker 2: Okay free anal orgasm psyched for Shane West.
Speaker 1: I could feel my hat orgasm.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, three Richter scale rattle when I saw
Speaker 2: Shane West.
Speaker 1: Really weird little voice.
Speaker 4: I saw Shane West. Weren't you with me? When I
Speaker 4: saw him at Elkam Padre in l a like over
Speaker 4: during peak COVID eating outside.
Speaker 1: Do you want to I'm in a wist, partner. Do
Speaker 1: you want to tell your story about? No?
Speaker 3: Oh my Goddeen idol one time?
Speaker 1: And it's my favorite story I ever heard. But none
Speaker 1: of you will ever know you with the.
Speaker 4: Teen idol one time?
Speaker 1: And I did. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4: There was a fingering situation happening.
Speaker 2: You know. I told that to a bunch of my
Speaker 2: gay friends and they it's the most iconic thing they
Speaker 2: ever heard. Laundromat getting finger She got fingered at drop
Speaker 2: off service by I'm not kidding you.
Speaker 1: One of the hottest teen idols.
Speaker 3: Second episode in a row, second episode in a row,
Speaker 3: We're fingering has entered the chat.
Speaker 1: I literally I've been thinking about it so much.
Speaker 2: I'm so horny lately. I don't know what's going on,
Speaker 2: and I haven't had sex in a while, so I'm
Speaker 2: just like, I just want to finger in there so bad.
Speaker 4: Well, the thing is definitely get you fingered. We can
Speaker 4: get you some like porky Scottish fingers.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I think, yeah, finger.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we can.
Speaker 1: I one of the bus boys.
Speaker 4: Wait, oh, I wanted to say something. You know, what's
Speaker 4: the best thing about twenty twenty three the resurrection of Josh.
Speaker 3: Hartnett, who was aging like Richard Gere.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like a fine piece of wine, I mean, just
Speaker 4: stelectable that that man.
Speaker 3: And look Oppenheimer. I was happy to see Olivia Thill
Speaker 3: be working again. She who fucked El the pe on
Speaker 3: the set of Juno constantly.
Speaker 1: That is it is a really iconic story.
Speaker 4: That Elliott's book.
Speaker 3: I need to read it.
Speaker 4: His book is steaming hot Tea.
Speaker 3: Well, we might even from Greta about all this fingering.
Speaker 4: I will say, sadly, sadly it was just fingering, so
Speaker 4: no one started.
Speaker 3: Sadly, nothing sad about that.
Speaker 4: No, sometimes all it takes is two fingers, definitely.
Speaker 3: I'm good.
Speaker 1: I'm good with the two. I need five.
Speaker 2: The way it's so big and sobby down there, Oh honey.
Speaker 1: It's time for I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 2: This is our sixty second segment that we do on
Speaker 2: every episode of Lost Coach Recess. Today is no different.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be returning to the top, the themes
Speaker 2: of the top, Yes, themes of the top of my look,
Speaker 2: just kidding, more verse bottom these days with old age.
Speaker 1: H Okay, I'm right.
Speaker 3: How something this is, Matt Rogers, I don't think so
Speaker 3: many as time starts new, I.
Speaker 1: Don't think so honey.
Speaker 2: Calling them toilets all over Europe, it's like where's the toilet?
Speaker 1: Signs that say toilet.
Speaker 2: Toilet is a disgusting word that I don't think so
Speaker 2: honey about.
Speaker 1: They're called restrooms, they are called bathrooms.
Speaker 2: If we're in Europe, capitalize on your language and call
Speaker 2: it the loo toilet. This is a disgusting, hard word
Speaker 2: to wrap my head around.
Speaker 1: When I go to the toilet.
Speaker 2: That is the literal toilet itself, not the room that
Speaker 2: it's in. Can we have some goddamn mystery. For once
Speaker 2: in my life. When you say toilet, I'm thinking of
Speaker 2: I can they can basically taste it and smell it,
Speaker 2: the poop and the When you say restroom, I think
Speaker 2: a place you go to relieve yourself. Fine, that's kuth.
Speaker 2: Aren't we supposed to have some taste here in Europe?
Speaker 2: Isn't it supposed to be refined? Isn't it supposed to
Speaker 2: be the pinnacle of culture that have come over in America?
Speaker 2: They're slaying it by calling a bathroom. I only don't
Speaker 2: any toilet.
Speaker 3: And that's one minute.
Speaker 1: Now. I don't be an American.
Speaker 3: I don't disagree with you, but bathroom is not even
Speaker 3: that accurate either, right, you're not taking bad.
Speaker 2: Listen all this I wave in my hand at it.
Speaker 2: I say this two things. One put it all in
Speaker 2: one room. I don't want to have to take a
Speaker 2: ship and leave you know, the toilet, closet, closet.
Speaker 1: No, these are also two weird words. Those are my notes.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Okay, that is very very brave. People don't talk about
Speaker 3: this enough.
Speaker 1: I just love the way he said that. That is
Speaker 1: very very very brave.
Speaker 4: That is very brave.
Speaker 1: He's proud of me. Okay, well this is bone Yang's
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, and his time starts now.
Speaker 3: I don't think so, honey. Unicorns. My nieces love unicorns
Speaker 3: and they went, you know what, it's disgusting. How come
Speaker 3: most of them are white. It's giving supremacy period. It
Speaker 3: has it has a horn that's disgusting. I don't A
Speaker 3: horse should not have a horn. That's dangerous, that could
Speaker 3: really hurt someone. And these unicorns are not real. So
Speaker 3: why are these kids obsessed with a fake animal? They
Speaker 3: should be worshiping dolphin. Get unicorns out of the pantheon
Speaker 3: of animals that kids thirty seconds. They should just worship
Speaker 3: a horse like we all did growing up. I don't
Speaker 3: think unicorns. I think unicorns are really invading the culture
Speaker 3: of kids now, and I don't like it because guess
Speaker 3: what it sets up unreal expectations. They're gonna grow up
Speaker 3: and find it they're not real, and then they're gonna
Speaker 3: be crushed. That's their first trauma. Okay, and I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna be one to pick up the pieces for this generation.
Speaker 3: They're gonna have to do it themselves. Unicorns, you are
Speaker 3: ruining a whole you are creating a whole generation of children.
Speaker 2: And that's one minute the amount of kids who believe
Speaker 2: that dragons are't real because of Game of Thrones.
Speaker 1: They really think this, They really do.
Speaker 2: They think it, and they're they're not gonna not think
Speaker 2: it because they don't have.
Speaker 3: You add it to the list of things that we
Speaker 3: have to just tell kids about. Eventually, we tell them
Speaker 3: Santa isn't real, unicorns aren't real, dragons aren't real. It
Speaker 3: is too much.
Speaker 1: And you know what probably smells terrible? A unicorn's horn.
Speaker 4: Why do you think it smells terrible?
Speaker 1: It's a it's a disgusting it. It's essentially like it's
Speaker 1: it's an exposed bone.
Speaker 4: Do you think that an elephant's tusks smell bad?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Probably probably smells like manure, Probably smells like dirty.
Speaker 1: Elephant, sounds like pool water. Horrible.
Speaker 2: I just can't with these unicorns. And here's the thing.
Speaker 2: You know what's better in theory than a.
Speaker 1: Practice a horse. I'm way better in theory than practice.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: I know a horse is spun in a picture, but
Speaker 3: not in real life.
Speaker 2: I took a picture with one the other day that
Speaker 2: I want to kiss it no.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: Also, I don't think killed by a horse.
Speaker 3: Why did that story get so much pick up, by
Speaker 3: the way.
Speaker 2: Because I think that people were trying to make something
Speaker 2: out of nothing with you shading the crew story.
Speaker 3: Tell the story the crew was the story is that
Speaker 3: the you know, and and and our our first ad
Speaker 3: Adam asked off who I love, texted me and apologized
Speaker 3: and I said.
Speaker 1: Adam, it's not it's oh my god.
Speaker 3: The crew in Iceland decided to film a shot with
Speaker 3: a drone of me and Nora on horses, and of
Speaker 3: course the drone freaked out the horses and I almost
Speaker 3: got fucking thrown off.
Speaker 4: Mm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, you know what would have been
Speaker 2: a crazy headline Bow and Yang thirty two promising any
Speaker 2: nominated multi cam actor thrown from horse. You know, if
Speaker 2: unicorns were real, you could have been killed. Had that
Speaker 2: been a unicorn and not a horse, you would.
Speaker 9: The horn.
Speaker 1: I would have died.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, smelly horn.
Speaker 4: Yes, stinky poop poop horn.
Speaker 1: I said, poop poop. I can't imagine a worst headline.
Speaker 1: Then Bowen Yang.
Speaker 4: He passed away, being savored.
Speaker 1: He passed away, Bow and Yang passed. If I had
Speaker 1: gotten a call we have some bad news.
Speaker 3: Don't what happens is going to make me cry.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry.
Speaker 9: I said, what he's gone? And they said he's gone.
Speaker 9: I said wow. They said he was doing an episode
Speaker 9: of Nora.
Speaker 1: I said, what happened? Looking me crying? Look at me?
Speaker 4: They said, get close, get close.
Speaker 1: They said he didn't make it. I said what They
Speaker 1: said he was riding a horse. I said, what, what
Speaker 1: episode was it this? They said, well, I went to Iceland.
Speaker 1: They were doing a really funny story. The finally Bowen's
Speaker 1: character got explored it as deeper than service Way. I
Speaker 1: think he was running a horse. He was so such
Speaker 1: a funny scene on paper. He didn't make it. When
Speaker 1: he was thrown from the horse, he just he was killed.
Speaker 2: I said, well, we have to have an episode to
Speaker 2: speak of lost culture.
Speaker 1: They said, can you get sooty?
Speaker 2: I said, probably, said let me text her. I said, wait,
Speaker 2: hold on, is there gonna be a funeral?
Speaker 4: Like what the fuck?
Speaker 1: They were like, probably, Uh, you have to talk to
Speaker 1: the family. I was like, oh my god, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: And then and then finally this is the kicker. They go,
Speaker 3: I need you to come down to identify the body.
Speaker 1: Oh, my god.
Speaker 2: They made me come all the way to Iceland to
Speaker 2: identify the body.
Speaker 1: He was mauled Bowen.
Speaker 2: I can barely see his face had the elephant stopped
Speaker 2: his face out. I said, my sister, not my girl,
Speaker 2: not like that. They said, oh, sir, They.
Speaker 3: Said that this is why you would soar in multi cam.
Speaker 4: That's really good, Matthew.
Speaker 3: I think it's time for Gretta is I don't think.
Speaker 1: So, honey.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, wait, do you want to time me?
Speaker 1: Go time you so you can see on the screen. Okay, okay, this.
Speaker 3: Is Greta titlemans. I don't think so, honey. Her time
Speaker 3: starts it now.
Speaker 4: I don't think so, honey. Military time okay, my thing?
Speaker 4: If you have it on your screen, what do you
Speaker 4: think you're better than me? That you're looking at your
Speaker 4: time in some European code? Honey, you're not in the military, okay.
Speaker 4: And also, if I'm meeting up with you and you
Speaker 4: have military time on your phone, you better say we're
Speaker 4: me at twenty two thirty, honey, because unless you're using
Speaker 4: my time, which is you know, eight thirty PM people
Speaker 4: use military time, you're not saying let's meet up at
Speaker 4: zero o'clock. You're not saying, oh, I was out until
Speaker 4: zero four. Oh I we had dinner last night at
Speaker 4: twenty one forty five. No bitch saying it in the
Speaker 4: twelve hour clock. So I'm done. Military time. We have
Speaker 4: it in the title. It's for the military, the militia,
Speaker 4: the Navy, the army men, the fighters, the firemen, the
Speaker 4: military period.
Speaker 3: And I'm proud to be an American, and I'm proud
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 4: An American with my twelve hour clock.
Speaker 3: Nice try, Lieutenant Dan, how about you tell me we're
Speaker 3: meeting at eight thirty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this actually is a good segue.
Speaker 2: Bowen, Greta and I were having a conversation just now
Speaker 2: at lunch, like we do, Greta says, And Bowen is
Speaker 2: one of this actress's foremost fans. Did Natalie Portman serve
Speaker 2: in the Israeli military for two years? She was? She was.
Speaker 1: No, I told you. She didn't say she grew.
Speaker 3: Up on she grew up on Long Island.
Speaker 1: That's what I said. That's what I said.
Speaker 4: What did I say? I was going to tell Bowen?
Speaker 2: What oh that you think it's funny that Gal Gadot
Speaker 2: was in the Israeli military.
Speaker 4: But she I think I'm going to start a rumor
Speaker 4: that Natalie Portman served in the military and was a
Speaker 4: drone operator.
Speaker 2: That's a nat I did an impression of Natalie apartment operate.
Speaker 1: Driving throne. It was like this on my tail, and
Speaker 1: then I said, what if? What if she was like
Speaker 1: rehearsing her Jackie accent while she.
Speaker 6: Was doing the like that on my I'm on them.
Speaker 3: Look a look at look at my grip. I can't
Speaker 3: do I can't do it. Look at my Look at
Speaker 3: my Look at my grip.
Speaker 1: Yat at my grip.
Speaker 6: Jack it's me and Ana operating the drone, operating operating
Speaker 6: that I can't do.
Speaker 3: I need to learn that accent.
Speaker 1: It's like it's just great.
Speaker 3: It's just great. It's just great gardens.
Speaker 4: Operating the drug. But Atlantic, I can't do it.
Speaker 3: I can't I.
Speaker 2: Talk.
Speaker 3: I think the three of us are so good at
Speaker 3: accents in moments, but something about today in this episode.
Speaker 3: I'll speak for myself. I'm so sorry to bring you
Speaker 3: guys into this. I feel like I have not really
Speaker 3: stepped up to my accent game.
Speaker 4: No, we've been doing awful accent work today. I mean
Speaker 4: my Scottish accent terrible.
Speaker 2: Talking about I think he's been amazing often up, We're
Speaker 2: a good job.
Speaker 3: Just just just do Alan coming if you're if.
Speaker 9: You Oh, I love.
Speaker 4: Quote my most favorite movie of all time, and I'm
Speaker 4: gonna say it and I'll see if you too know
Speaker 4: what it's from. Okay, eat this for breakfast.
Speaker 1: Launch sex tape.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm eating bread found right air m that's set
Speaker 2: tape ever of all time? Yes, and then I love Sharon.
Speaker 2: Do you ever hear Sharon Osborne's review of that sex tape?
Speaker 1: No, she goes he's got to dick like a salami.
Speaker 3: And we're back. We're back to the accent being on point.
Speaker 4: He's going to take like.
Speaker 2: A salon, a Salomi on the talk.
Speaker 4: Oh I wish, I wish it was a show that
Speaker 4: I do. Miss I keep the Osborne's well, well, you
Speaker 4: miss a bo Here's my thing. I'm feeling really not
Speaker 4: seen in my culture this episode. I bring up God Forbid,
Speaker 4: I bring up Jack Ryan, and the.
Speaker 1: Odd was affirming you.
Speaker 3: I've been affirming you.
Speaker 4: See his energy to me, he's getting reclined in a
Speaker 4: chair like he wants me to pass him a fucking
Speaker 4: four foot Iladelph Bong okay, and you know we're here just.
Speaker 3: Doing your bad. We're all literally just doing our best.
Speaker 1: Aren't we.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's nice, we are.
Speaker 2: Well, if you are in Edinburgh, Scotland, you've got to
Speaker 2: go see Exquisite Lies. Yes, please grant a title man.
Speaker 2: And there's also tons of other amazing shows. I'm excited
Speaker 2: because well, by the time this episode is out, she'll
Speaker 2: be gone. But Patty Harrison's my huge Tit's huge because
Speaker 2: Infected not Fake has been a real barn burner here, hit.
Speaker 4: Hit Hit, mccallister's tragedy, beg Insalter's Night of Mayhem, and
Speaker 4: many of them and many others, many, many more, and
Speaker 4: we're going to see when they exchange later.
Speaker 3: I love it. It is literally culture.
Speaker 4: I will say one final I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 4: Thought is that you know, reviewing is a huge part
Speaker 4: of the culture out here, getting reviews, getting written up,
Speaker 4: and thankfully, knock on wood, I've gotten some very nice reviews,
Speaker 4: but I did get one not so nice review. And
Speaker 4: here's my thing. If you want, if you are a reviewer,
Speaker 4: someone that's interested in that, give a POV. Don't just
Speaker 4: summarize what happens in a show and then at the end,
Speaker 4: this person said, after summarizing my show basically using my
Speaker 4: words that I have written about my show, she said,
Speaker 4: she said, there there are some laughs, but Greta is
Speaker 4: so unlike a bowl on stage that if there's one
Speaker 4: thing I know for certain, titleman won't be leaving Edinburgh
Speaker 4: with any new friends.
Speaker 1: That's just crazy.
Speaker 3: That is the most ad hominem bullshit. That is so personal,
Speaker 3: That is so like this person. What does that have
Speaker 3: anything to do with the fucking show, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 4: Oh so, honey, I'm here for work. You think I'm here?
Speaker 4: I mean, and by the way, I am making absolutely fabulous,
Speaker 4: lovely friends.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much.
Speaker 3: Literally, you're not there to make friends, no period.
Speaker 1: That's Kelly.
Speaker 10: I know.
Speaker 4: Dumb is dumb as shit. Dumb is a unicorn's ship.
Speaker 1: Usk you Are you feeling better?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think the titlan All is kicking in.
Speaker 3: I think my hope is that I broke my fever
Speaker 3: last night and I'm on the up and up. If
Speaker 3: I miss Vegas, I will never forgive myself.
Speaker 1: You're not no.
Speaker 4: I don't want to even tell vitamin infusion. Can you
Speaker 4: go and get like a shot of like.
Speaker 2: You know between beech in your description called called the
Speaker 2: IV people.
Speaker 4: You don't need a prescription, getn't get the ivy DoPT.
Speaker 1: Don't come to your house.
Speaker 3: Yeah hm hmmm, I'm don't look into it then.
Speaker 4: And you can also just go and get a shot,
Speaker 4: like if I'd been shot.
Speaker 1: In your ass.
Speaker 4: I love them, I miss I miss getting those shots
Speaker 4: in my ass.
Speaker 2: We have to and this episode of the song because
Speaker 2: that's what we do every single time.
Speaker 3: I'll always remember.
Speaker 1: It was late afternoon, It lasted for and ended so soon.
Speaker 1: Yeah you by.
Speaker 11: Staring about it, doctor gas guy, I was changed and
Speaker 11: please and no one went fine, all.
Speaker 1: Feeling so deep inside.
Speaker 4: Inside was there?
Speaker 1: I realize that corri rises the moments.
Speaker 10: Cry cry my moments, Oh no no, I wanted to
Speaker 10: call you.
Speaker 1: I wanted to make you go away.
Speaker 4: I didn't you know, I wanted maybe.
Speaker 3: For more of that listened to a want to remember
Speaker 3: soundtra and her love is like the wind.
Speaker 1: I can't see it, but I hail it. Bye