1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: Edie Martinez in Real Life podcast. This episode and conversation 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: is powered by I Do Say. Hey guys, it is 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:12,119 Speaker 1: another episode of Takeaways. Is Edgie Martinez here. We are 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: talking about the Usher episode this one by the way, 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: if you haven't ever checked checked out one of these 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 1: audio podcasts, these takeaways are just that there takeaways from 7 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:26,080 Speaker 1: some of our conversations with our incredible guests and the 8 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: things that we take away. We hope that every episode 9 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: you take something away from every conversation. Um, but this 10 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,919 Speaker 1: is just a moment for us to kind of reflect, 11 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: and so right now we're reflecting on this Usher conversation, 12 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 1: which I got so much from, not just as an artist. 13 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,559 Speaker 1: As an artist, Yes, he's working on new music. He 14 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:46,200 Speaker 1: has this phenomenal show in Vegas that is like groundbreaking 15 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: and brilliant. He is working on a project with l A. Read. 16 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: You know, we talked about his career and his life 17 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: and his kids. But a lot of what really I 18 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: took away and what stayed with me was the work 19 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: that he's done on himself through therapy and through meditation 20 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: to be a better person and to be happy. UM. 21 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: So we're going to kind of talk about that on 22 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: this episode, and we're gonna have Marrie l Dr Mariel Bouquet. 23 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 1: She's a psychologist and she's a trauma expert join us. 24 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: Hey and you, thank you, thank you, thank you for 25 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: having me. I'm excited to be here. I so we've 26 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: been having a lot of these conversations about not just therapy, 27 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: but meditation seems to come up all the time in 28 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: terms of how people UH cope, especially when you have 29 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: like busy, noisy lives and meditation. U Usher said he 30 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: did TM meditation. What do you know about that? Yeah, 31 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: it's transcendental meditation, which is basically this kind of meditation 32 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: that involved like mantra and it's part of the Vedic 33 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: tradition of India, right, and it's a meditation that's actually 34 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: really effective for a lot of things including like reducing stress, 35 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: increasing brain function, increasing heart health. I mean, it's amazing 36 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: and I'm so excited that he's doing it and he's 37 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: talking openly about it. Yeah. I I researched. I had 38 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: I've heard of it before. I just said I hadn't 39 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 1: done it for myself, and but after the conversation I 40 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: had with him, I did a little bit more research 41 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 1: on it and It really is just how it was 42 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: explained to me. You can tell me this is wrong, uh, 43 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 1: that there is a word that you use. Some people 44 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,679 Speaker 1: use home or they have used whatever. And you say 45 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: the word repeatedly to yourself with your eyes closed, not 46 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: out loud and um. And it's just a way for 47 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: you to calm your brain and calm your thoughts. So 48 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: you say the word over and if your brain drifts, 49 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: that's okay. You just go keep saying the word back 50 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: to the word. And if you can do this twenty 51 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: minutes a day, for two times, two times a day, 52 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,119 Speaker 1: it's supposed to change your life. Is that? What is that? 53 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: That's what I've learned? Is that? Right? Is that good information? 54 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,399 Speaker 1: It is great ever reason, it really is life tis thing, 55 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: and especially when a person can actually commit to it. 56 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest. I tried it once or twice 57 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: since I've done my research. I haven't gotten past like 58 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: a two minute mark. Once the two I'm still getting. 59 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 1: I start getting I don't know, I get distracted, I 60 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 1: get fall asleep. It's just I haven't gotten past the 61 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 1: two minutes. But I can see, even just in my 62 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: initial early initial attempts, I can see how this could 63 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:19,119 Speaker 1: shift your energy, your anxiety or stress levels. Um, all 64 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: that just from the little bit that I've tried a 65 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: couple of times, So I get it. Really how what 66 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: happens right, Like your mind just kind of goes somewhere. 67 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: You may fall asleep, and that's all a natural part 68 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: of the process that I would you know, invite that 69 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: in What do you make about his theory about um? 70 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: He said he tries to go when he's meditated, he 71 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: tries to get to this place, is one of my takeaway. 72 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: So I don't know. It just stuck with me. I 73 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: remembered it so much of him saying, Um, you get 74 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: to a point where you have to ask yourself or 75 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 1: be in the state of asking yourself. Am I suffering 76 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: or am I not suffering? Like those are the only 77 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: two questions. And if you're not suffering, then you should 78 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: be at peace. You should find be able to find 79 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: peace in your day. And if you are suffering, it 80 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: forces you to look at Okay, why am I suffering? 81 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: The most important part of our entire being is our 82 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: state of being. What state of being are you in? 83 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: Are you suffering? Are you not suffering? Those are the 84 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: two states. There's no other states to be in. You're 85 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: the suffering or you're not suffering. Is that real? It 86 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: is real? It is the only two statesffering a little. 87 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: You're either suffering or you're not. And if you managed, 88 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: if you've managed to put yourself in a beautiful state 89 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: of being right where you're not suffering, then you can 90 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: manage to allow a universe that actually unfold for you. 91 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: That's good because what's intended to happen will um. I 92 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 1: found it interesting. I don't know, is this like a 93 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: scientific thing? Is something he made up? Is this a 94 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: what is it? What is that? Yeah? I mean I 95 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: found that to being really interesting myself. And I love 96 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: the fact that what he says is that he goes 97 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: right back into himself and reflects and is able to 98 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: really gather greater insights about his own life so that 99 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: he can minimize the suffering. Because we're human, there's no 100 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: way to like completely do away with suffering. But there 101 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 1: is something in psychology called ordinary suffering, which is just 102 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: day to day like oh, you know, make you make 103 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: stumble on something on like a rocking and you know 104 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: you have a stressful moment, but you're not like in 105 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 1: deep suffering, all of the time and getting to a 106 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 1: place of ordinary suffering where there's just like small moments 107 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,720 Speaker 1: here and there that may rattle you a bit, but 108 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: you don't feel like you're always drowning. I think that's 109 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: in essence what he's talking about, being able to be 110 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 1: in a place of Keith where even if you stumble 111 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: on that rock, it doesn't shatter your whole world. M hmmm, 112 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: what about something to talk about? Because another takeaway I 113 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: took from Usher is number one, he's super happy in 114 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: his relationship. Do we not love Jim? Oh my god, 115 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,120 Speaker 1: you got his Puerto Rican food? Is the that it 116 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: was so good, and it was just the gesture of it. 117 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: It was she They weren't even there. They were taking 118 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: their kids pumpkin picking while we were sitting waiting to 119 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: do the interview. And then the publicist was like, hey, 120 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: Jen just called and they're picking up some food. She 121 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: want to know if you guys were hungry, picked us 122 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: up some food on the way back. It was just 123 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 1: like a lovely I don't know, we like terms of 124 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 1: so much um and he's so happy, like he's fat, 125 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,839 Speaker 1: he and it's not just he's worked for that happiness, 126 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: you know, he's done. They've done couples therapy, and he 127 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: shared one of the exercises that they do, which is 128 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: about listening and repeating back what your partner says to you, Amazy, 129 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 1: this might be good for you. Amazing is here he's married. 130 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: I am listening full and intently. Okay. So when you 131 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: when you argue with your wife or your wife is 132 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: trying to explain something to you that maybe bothers her 133 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:53,039 Speaker 1: that you did, is your reaction to respond or defend yourself? 134 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 1: Do you get defensive? Like if she says, m, you 135 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: didn't take out the garbage three nights in a row? 136 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: Is your are you? My instant reaction would be defensive 137 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: because it's either because I was tired, I was taking 138 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: care of kids, instantly making excuses why I didn't do it. Yeah, yes, 139 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: it's definitely a defensive first. Well, that's to the point. 140 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: To Usher's point and to this exercise is like most 141 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: people do. Most people when some when somebody you love 142 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: is upset with you, you want to you know. So 143 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: what happens is nobody hears each other. So the exercises 144 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: when she says to you, am you didn't take out 145 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: the garbage? You should say no, No, you're right. What 146 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: I hear you saying is you are upset because I 147 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: didn't take out the garbage. You are letting her know 148 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: that you heard her, got it, yes, And sometimes that's 149 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: just all the other person wants is acknowledgement and to 150 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: know they're heard. And then you say to her is 151 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: there more? Is there anything else? And she might say, well, 152 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 1: it really bothered me because you also did it four 153 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: nights in a row. I'm what I heard you say 154 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: was not only take the garbage out, but because I've 155 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: repeatedly not done that, And she was like yes, And 156 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: then you say I heard you, and then that's the 157 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: end of the thing and she feels heard. You didn't 158 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: have to argue, and vice versa. She has to do 159 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: it when you come to her. Is that I'm explaining 160 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: this right right? Tell me if this is right? That 161 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 1: is absolutely right. And I'm so glad that Amazon board 162 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 1: to actually do it. I know that happy wife, happy life. 163 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: But also you have to be happy. She has to 164 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: be if you say to her, she's got to hear you, 165 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: because half the time we're frustrated because we feel like 166 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,319 Speaker 1: the other person doesn't hear us. And I've heard about 167 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 1: this this exercise before. But what was interesting and one 168 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: of the takeaways for me was not only that it's 169 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: working for us or in his relationship, but that he 170 00:08:55,200 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: also uses it in friendships, in business relationships, in other 171 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: parts of his life, not just in the romantic relationship. 172 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: Sometimes you just have to hear people when they have 173 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 1: when you have some type of conflict or thing. And 174 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,439 Speaker 1: I thought that was interesting because I had never really 175 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: thought about that, Um, what do you know about that 176 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 1: excess that exercise though? Is there anything that you could 177 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: add to that or any tips? Excuse is this type 178 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: of working? Because I'm Fosten and it was massissillly done, 179 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: like it literally looked like a therapy session or what 180 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: a therapy session would look like, and how basically we 181 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: take those skills and then apply it to our lives. 182 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: We don't just keep it in the session. But a 183 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: lot of what he was doing was like mindful listening, right, 184 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:44,839 Speaker 1: mindful pauses, mindful listening, active reflection, which is also a 185 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: therapeutic technique. And then the big ones, the big which 186 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 1: is validation, validating your partner's experiences and what they're telling 187 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 1: you they're experiencing. So it's a a four part type 188 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: of oh that he basically allowed us into in that 189 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: like two minute practice, which was really well done. Yeah, 190 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: I was so I was so happy that he shared that. 191 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: But then, how do we not how do we not 192 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: get defensive? That's the hardest thing, right, because you want 193 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 1: It's like you, when you feel attacked or you feel 194 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: maybe somebody is saying something you don't necessarily deserve, you 195 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 1: jump into defensive mode. But I guess this is the 196 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: actual answer, is to just stop for a second, forget 197 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: about how you feel about it, just be mindful of listening. 198 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: Is that right? Tell me if I'm I'm therapying wrong, 199 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 1: you got it? You got it. And I think adding 200 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: on the other piece that he that he added is 201 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: doing those meditative practices that will help you to also 202 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: feel more at ease on a day to day so 203 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,680 Speaker 1: that when somebody starts pointing the finger at you, you're 204 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:59,199 Speaker 1: not immediately triggered and activated, but instead you're like, okay, 205 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: I'm I'm instead of being at his ten, I'm out 206 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: of five, and I can function better out of five. 207 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: I can actually mindfully paused and reflect and validate out 208 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 1: of five. And then when we get around to it 209 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: I can say. And also, here is how I'm feeling 210 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: about the fact that I'm getting the finger pointed in 211 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:20,960 Speaker 1: my direction. Solid work, and how often do you have 212 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: to do this all the time with your partner? This 213 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: should be like not something that you do just that therapy, right, 214 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: this has to be something you do in regular life 215 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: at dinner. I would do it with everybody, just like 216 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 1: psure be like, let's just like the big takeaway from 217 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 1: the Usher episode is we're all going to just be 218 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: like ushare he seems I mean, listen, I'm not with 219 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: Usher every day, but he really seems to be in 220 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: a really good place. I have interviewed him a lot 221 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: over his career, in his life, I don't know, he 222 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: seems like he's found something and he seemed very um anyway, 223 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: was really special. I was really happy and um honored 224 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,959 Speaker 1: that he chose to like share some of that deep 225 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 1: stuff with us. I thought it was really dope. Um okay, Oh, 226 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:05,959 Speaker 1: I just thought of another one. We should play this clip? 227 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 1: What about the part where he says yes is the 228 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: same as no, which is interesting to me because if 229 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: nobody's ever said it like that to me. People tell say, oh, 230 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: everything happens for a reason. I for sure lived my 231 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,559 Speaker 1: life like that. So if something bad happens, I'm like, oh, 232 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: what do I learn from this? Or how do I 233 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: move from here? But never like I should have the 234 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: same energy when somebody says yes to me as when 235 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: somebody says no to me, because ultimately everything is going 236 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: to work as it's supposed to work in the universe. 237 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: So why am I up and down with my emotions? 238 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: And why am I up and down with my energy? 239 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: I should maintain my energy for whether it is a 240 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: yes or no. That's how I took it. Did you 241 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: take it? Did you take it differently? No? For sure? 242 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,439 Speaker 1: But who likes hearing no? Like hearing it? Implementing here? 243 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: But you know enough to know that when you hear no, 244 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 1: it's usually for a reason, either something better is coming 245 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 1: or a lesson is coming, or that just wasn't for you. 246 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: So why put yourself through the emergial emotional turmoil? Why suffer? 247 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: Why suffer? Right? Why? Why suffer? If you can? I 248 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 1: mean that's like I don't. I'm not to that level. 249 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: I'm not spiritually woke that far where I could where 250 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: I can do that. But it is aspirational for me? 251 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 1: Are you at that point? Doc? I would say that 252 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: I am working my way through always being at that point. 253 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: But you know, we're human, right and as herself, anybody 254 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: will always have moments. But that I like that place 255 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: of emotional neutrality that he tends to be in, and 256 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: I can do that a lot in my own life 257 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 1: as well. Let's play the clip by the way, in 258 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 1: case you guys didn't hear it. Are we able to 259 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: be okay with no as much as we are with 260 00:13:56,679 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 1: yes winds as much as we are with losses because 261 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 1: they're the same. We don't see it, but they are. 262 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 1: I've never heard it said like that. Hey, listen, I've 263 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: heard you know, you learn from your mistakes. Everything is 264 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 1: okay when everything is a process, you learn from your 265 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,959 Speaker 1: I learned something from Mamata. But I've never heard yes. 266 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: It's the same as not. It should be in our minds. 267 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 1: We can't see it that way because we're all kind 268 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 1: of like looking for the wind only. But there's measures, 269 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 1: you know, there's measures in life. There's time, there's there's 270 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 1: a moment for everything, and nothing is happening by coincidence. 271 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: That's so good, that's just great. He's so good. Alright, guys, 272 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 1: well for that portion, and if you haven't seen the 273 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: whole interview, it is up on my YouTube page uh 274 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: Ati Martinez I r L. Or of course here you 275 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 1: can listen to the full conversation with us as well. 276 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 1: But thank you for checking out this takeaway. Thank you 277 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: Dr Mario Bouquet for joining us today and for checking 278 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,360 Speaker 1: out the episode. We appreciate you and we're gonna have 279 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: you hop on with us to talk about this Mike 280 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 1: Tyson episode two. If that's okay, Yes, it's absolutely I 281 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: can't wait. Thank you guys for listening, and we'll catch 282 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: you on the next one.