1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:01,560 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. 2 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 2: This is John the og story Time podcast host. 3 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up. 4 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639 Speaker 2: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break 5 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like 6 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 2: a little house. 7 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 1: Oh yeah. 8 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 4: My husband's family is everything I dreamt of until they 9 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 4: turned on me just like that. By the way, trigger 10 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:26,799 Speaker 4: warning fertility issues and miscarriage. If you know that's that's 11 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 4: going to be hard to listen to, please skip ahead. 12 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 4: Me twenty eight female, and my husband thirty two male, 13 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 4: have a wonderful relationship, but his family, who once treated 14 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 4: me like their own, has turned on me in painful 15 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,559 Speaker 4: and hurtful ways, especially after a recent health scare. I 16 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 4: don't know how much longer I can take this, even 17 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,959 Speaker 4: though I love him with all my heart. By the way, 18 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,199 Speaker 4: this comes from Ahvore eighty eight sixty six, and if 19 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 20 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 4: Art Slaw Show. Okay, Storytime subredit. So. My husband and 21 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 4: I have been together for four years, married for two 22 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 4: We met when I was hired to plan his sister's 23 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 4: wedding and clicked into We kept things professional during the wedding, 24 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 4: but started dating afterwards. From the beginning, our relationship felt 25 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 4: like magic. It was deeply respectful, loving, supportive, and safe. 26 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 4: It's truly one of the most beautiful parts of my life. 27 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 4: Over time, I also grew close to his family. His 28 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,479 Speaker 4: mom felt like a second mother to me. His younger 29 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 4: sisters were like close friends, and his family, dynamic, though 30 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 4: rooted in hardship, felt strong and warm. The only person 31 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,759 Speaker 4: who seemed off was his aunt, but I didn't pay 32 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 4: her much mind. I genuinely loved being a part of 33 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 4: the world. That is until he proposed that's not a 34 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 4: good time to stop loving being a part of your world. 35 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 4: It was everything I dreamed of, a beautiful trip, a 36 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 4: perfect moment, pure joy. But something changed when we returned 37 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 4: his mom, who used to be my confidant. Suddenly it 38 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 4: became different, suddenly cold, passive, aggressive. I noticed it, but 39 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 4: brushed it off in the glow of my engagement. Looking back, 40 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 4: I wish I hadn't. Since then, things have just deteriors. 41 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 4: Every day for a year now, I've cried. I don't 42 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 4: think there's been a single day I haven't. It's gotten 43 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 4: so toxic and painful that I've started to wonder if 44 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 4: I can even stay in this marriage, not because I 45 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 4: don't love my husband, but because of how his family 46 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 4: makes me feel. For some background, my husband has three sisters, 47 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 4: one older who's married, and two younger. His father passed 48 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 4: away when he was very young, and they grew up 49 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 4: in severe poverty. His mother worked five jobs to support them. 50 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 4: His maternal uncle helped them immensely, which is likely why 51 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,839 Speaker 4: his mother and aunt uncle's wife are so close. Ever 52 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 4: since my husband started working at twenty three, he's been 53 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 4: the sole provider. He pays for his mom, aunt, an uncle, 54 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 4: and one of his sister's expenses. Today, the family is 55 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,679 Speaker 4: quite well off, but it's largely due to him. They 56 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,959 Speaker 4: love him, sure, but often treat him like an ATM, 57 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 4: and he never complains. He just gives and gives h 58 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,799 Speaker 4: I always admired this about him, his loyalty and deep 59 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 4: love for his family, But now I don't know how 60 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 4: to feel because those same people who claim to love 61 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 4: him have hurt me more than I can bear. Just 62 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 4: a few instances of their behavior. After our engagement, his 63 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 4: mom started making weird comments like I'll have to visit 64 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 4: more to check up on him now that he has 65 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 4: more on his plate. She once told him, if I 66 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 4: don't take care of him, who will? 67 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 2: Who else is gonna take care of him? Like, well, 68 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 2: he's a grown man who's actually taking care of you. Yeah, 69 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 2: so yeah, they probably don't need to worry about that. 70 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 4: The expectation that like the wife needs to be the 71 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 4: mom too, and it's like, come on, it's like what 72 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 4: we will down with the gender roles. 73 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 2: Let's just all be happy that your son has found 74 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 2: someone he loves and they're gonna be together. But it's 75 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 2: like it's gonna be so hard to get him to 76 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: see like any toxicity on his family side. I feel 77 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 2: like because of what they went through together, Yeah, and 78 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 2: like seeing that, you know that kind of like bootstrap mentality. 79 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 4: During wedding planning, my husband joked that he just went 80 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 4: into elope. His mom said a good life partner should 81 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,200 Speaker 4: encourage sharing love with family and not separating you from them. 82 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 4: Even though we had no intention of voting anyone on 83 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 4: our wedding day, she told me, I know you'll never 84 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 4: be as good as me you when it comes to 85 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 4: taking care of my son, but I won't expect that 86 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 4: from you. I'll just try to guide you and hope 87 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 4: you'll be happy in this marriage. Then hugged me and 88 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 4: added that she hopes her son manages to be happy 89 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 4: with me. 90 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, Okay, so at this point I'm getting I'm 91 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 2: probably getting a little weird, right, I'm trying to make 92 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 2: mom uncomfy now, Yeah, like like, oh, like, I hope 93 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 2: he manages to be happy with you. It's like shin up. 94 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 4: When his sister showed up at their house mid crisis, 95 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 4: her marriage was toxing. We were expected to cancel entirely 96 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 4: to support her. We weren't even against staying, but the 97 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 4: hypocrisy was insane because they kept calling me an outsider. 98 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 4: Yet suddenly I was expected to step up. I grew 99 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,720 Speaker 4: close to that same sister during this time. I even 100 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 4: helped her get a job on my event planning team 101 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 4: and recommended a therapist she seemed to really like. She 102 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 4: told me that she was happier than she'd felt in years. 103 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 4: But suddenly mother in law accused me of manipulating her 104 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 4: into thinking that something was wrong and forcing her to 105 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 4: go to therapy. She came to you saying that something 106 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 4: was wrong. You didn't convince her of that. 107 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 2: Yeah, with the like this is they're living in like 108 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 2: an alternate reality. 109 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, she made her quit the job and stop therapy. 110 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 4: Oh no, her aunt said, I cared more about my 111 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 4: business than her emotions. The sister now won't speak to 112 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 4: me and makes past aggressive comments. Once I had traveled 113 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 4: out of the city for work, and during that time 114 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 4: my husband fell seriously ill, like extremely sick. I was 115 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 4: frantic and kept calling and messaging him, but there was 116 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 4: no response. My anxiety only grew through the night. Later, 117 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 4: I found out that his mother had switched off his 118 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 4: phone to avoid any disturbances. While I can understand wanting 119 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 4: to let him rest, what hurt me was that she 120 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 4: didn't bother to reply to even one of my sixty 121 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 4: plus messages. She did, however, message his secretary to inform 122 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 4: him about my husband's condition, so she clearly had the 123 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 4: means to communicate, just not the will to let me 124 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 4: his wife know, I didn't find out the full extent 125 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 4: of his condition until I returned the next day and 126 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 4: saw that he had been admitted to the hospital. I 127 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 4: broke down in tears the moment I saw him, and 128 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 4: in that moment of heartbreak, my mother in law decided 129 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 4: it was the perfect time to lecture me about balancing 130 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 4: work and personal life. I still haven't fully processed. That day, 131 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 4: one of the younger sisters had a boyfriend who cheated 132 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,479 Speaker 4: on her with someone that he met during one of 133 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 4: my events. When the aunt found out, she accused me 134 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 4: of knowing and keeping it from them to hurt the sister. Thankfully, 135 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 4: no one believes that insanity, not even the mother in law. 136 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 4: But the most painful moment came just three weeks ago. 137 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,839 Speaker 4: I thought I was pregnant. My husband and I took 138 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 4: three tests, all positive. We were terrified but thrilled. I 139 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 4: wanted to wait for my usual obgin, who was out 140 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 4: of town for a week, before confirming with the scan 141 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 4: or blood test, but I was too excited and told 142 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 4: close friends and family, including his younger sisters and mother 143 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,559 Speaker 4: in law. For the first time in years. His mother 144 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 4: was kind, even the aunt congratulated me. I cried that night, 145 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 4: not just because I was going to be a mom, 146 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 4: but because I thought I finally had them back. I 147 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 4: thought we were finally a family again. My aunt in 148 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 4: law recommended us a doctor that we went to where 149 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 4: we got to know that I wasn't pregnant, and then 150 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 4: it was a false positive. Oh but that's not all. 151 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 4: A scan revealed an oliriansyst and because of an accident 152 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 4: I had a few years ago which caused a miscarriage, 153 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 4: I might face fertility issues in the future. That is 154 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 4: a huge being thinking that you're pregnant to that is 155 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 4: that's heartbreaking. And of course now the mother in law 156 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 4: is just going to blame her for everything. It is 157 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 4: just going to hold this against her. 158 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 2: I was crushed. 159 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 4: My husband was devastated. We cried and held each other 160 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 4: for hours. He protected me fiercely, didn't let anyone visit 161 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,239 Speaker 4: or bombard me with questions. We needed space to grieve. 162 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 4: When his mother found out, she cried, not out of empathy, 163 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 4: but because her son lied to her when he told 164 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 4: her everything was okay. He had lied for me because 165 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 4: I asked him to give me time and privacy. She 166 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 4: screamed at me for robbing her of the joy of 167 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 4: being a grandmother. See we knew it's robbing her from 168 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 4: the joy of being a grandmother. 169 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 2: Woh monster. 170 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 4: I was too emotionally drained to even respond. Three days ago, 171 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 4: my husband and I visited my guynecologist, the one I 172 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 4: trust and I've been going to for years. She took 173 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 4: the time to explain everything to us, in detail, false positives, 174 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 4: the cyst, my current fertility concerns. She answered all of 175 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 4: our questions and was incredibly compassionate. When she was done, 176 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 4: I just broke down and cried in her arms for 177 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 4: an hour. What a hard job that might be, Oh my. 178 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 2: Gosh, maybe the probably one of the hardest. 179 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 4: The entire time, I kept wishing it was my mother 180 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 4: in law comforting me instead, because before all of this, 181 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 4: before the engagement and the shift in her behavior, that's 182 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 4: what she would have done. She would have hugged me 183 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 4: and loved me and supported me, and I needed her 184 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 4: so much in that moment. I still do. But she's 185 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 4: not that person anymore. And I don't know why we 186 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 4: live in the same building. So no, conduct isn't really possible. 187 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 4: My husband has tried everything. He's defended me, banned the 188 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 4: older sister from her home, and told off every single 189 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 4: person who wronged me. Yes, he even screamed at his 190 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 4: mom when she said that the whole disowning thing, but 191 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 4: she fainted. He feels guilty and now so do I. 192 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 2: But good for the husband. I'm glad the husband is 193 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 2: defending you. That was what I was really most worried about, right, 194 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 2: So he'd be like, well, sho's my mom, but it's like, dude. 195 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,199 Speaker 4: No, I'm so glad. It just sucks that like these 196 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 4: people are acting like this and even the sun can 197 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 4: convince them to like chill out. Like this is just 198 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 4: too much to handle. When she's already heartbroken from this 199 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 4: thing happening to her, no one's thinking about how it's 200 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 4: affecting her. He is emotionally exhausted too. He cried with 201 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 4: me when I told him I felt like I couldn't 202 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 4: survive in this family, he said. He wonders if they 203 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 4: even truly love him because they can't support the one 204 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,959 Speaker 4: thing he chose for himself me. That wrecked me because 205 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,679 Speaker 4: despite it all, I love him and more than anything, 206 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 4: he is my peace, my comfort. No matter how how 207 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 4: broken I feel, his voice brings me calm, but I 208 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 4: am drowning. I wake up sad. I cry every day. 209 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,559 Speaker 4: I feel like my life is a nightmare. I can't escape. 210 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 4: I don't want to divorce him, but I don't want 211 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 4: to live like this either. I just want his family 212 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 4: to love me the way I loved them. I want 213 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 4: things to go back to how they were. I want 214 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,079 Speaker 4: to feel happy again. I want to feel like I'm 215 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:24,199 Speaker 4: mad or right now, I just feel lost. I really 216 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 4: need advice. What can I do here? I feel like 217 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 4: I've tried everything. I've been patient, I've been kind, I've 218 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 4: stood up for myself, my husband has stood up for me, 219 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 4: but it's never enough. They keep pushing, they keep hurting me, 220 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 4: and I'm starting to break. I don't want to lose 221 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 4: my husband. He's the love of my life, but I 222 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 4: also don't want to keep living like this. I feel 223 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 4: like I'm being slowly erased in a home that should 224 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 4: have been mine too. Was there any way to fix this? 225 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 4: Is there anything left for me to try? How do 226 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 4: I protect myself without destroying the man I love? And 227 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 4: if there's no way out, how do I find the 228 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 4: strength to walk away from someone who's never hurt me, 229 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 4: but whose family won't stop. Please be honest, I don't 230 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 4: know how much of this I can take. And there 231 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 4: is an update. 232 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 2: He's the one providing for all of them at this point, 233 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 2: so if he withdraws and goes no contact, he's essentially 234 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 2: abandoning everything he's ever known in his whole life. Yeah, 235 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 2: that is that's hard to do, super hard, However, I 236 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 2: think at this point he's doing his family more of 237 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 2: a disservice than anything, because by providing for them because 238 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: he's he's he's in a way enabling their behavior by 239 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 2: accepting it. And I get it. It's like that that 240 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 2: runs so deep. But it's like if that happened to 241 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 2: my wife and my in my I'm not ope, But 242 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,559 Speaker 2: if my mom's had some something some off the handle 243 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 2: crap like that, it's curtains, it's over. I'm done. You're 244 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 2: not getting any more money from me. You're not until 245 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 2: you like I don't, I don't know. 246 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 4: Right because at that point, it's like can you even 247 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 4: talk to the mom? Like I wonder if OPI either 248 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 4: has had conversation or is try to have conversations with 249 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 4: the mom of being like hey, like I just want 250 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 4: to know what's going on, like we were so close 251 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 4: before and I miss that and just be honest, like 252 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 4: with what's going on, and then asking like like was 253 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 4: there anything that I did to upset you before the 254 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,080 Speaker 4: miscarriage stuff? Because obviously she didn't do anything there, but 255 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 4: it's still upset the mom, So like if was there anything, 256 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 4: Like I wonder if there can even be a conversation 257 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 4: or if the mom would just turn it into an 258 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 4: argument or something like that, or if they've. 259 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 2: Tried, maybe like write it out or make an email 260 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 2: or whatever you need to make like a very eloquent 261 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 2: point A, point B, point C, like present that to 262 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 2: your husband and like this is why I cannot do this. Yeah, 263 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 2: I cannot continue on this way and we need to 264 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 2: figure out a path forward. And if that means cutting 265 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 2: off your family and we're not around them, if you can't, 266 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,959 Speaker 2: if that's what we have to do and you can't 267 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 2: do that, then we have to call this off. 268 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 4: But there is an update, so let's see what happened. Okay, 269 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 4: so it's done. We're moving out in the same city. 270 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 4: We already have an apartment like twenty ish minutes from 271 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,959 Speaker 4: our current residence. I don't know, I didn't think about just. 272 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 2: Moving Okay, nice, No, No, that's it. 273 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,080 Speaker 4: So we're moving there for the time being. It's not 274 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 4: that far, but it's a step forward. Also about the 275 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 4: cutting off thing, my husband told me that his father 276 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 4: asked him to take care of his mother and sisters 277 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 4: and that's always weighed upon him heavy. His father that 278 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 4: has passed away. So he's not going to withdraw financial 279 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,439 Speaker 4: support just yet. But we'll stop interacting with them unnecessarily. 280 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 4: My younger sister in law is a bit wary about 281 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 4: us moving out, but his uncle supports our decisions, so 282 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 4: I guess that'll work out. Also, he's decided to write 283 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 4: a letter to her to let her and aunt know 284 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 4: about this decision instead of verbally telling them for obvious reasons. 285 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 4: My only concern is that he's not able to realize 286 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 4: how she's not just a bad mother in law, but 287 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 4: also a bad mother for his emotions for so long. 288 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 4: He'll start therapy, so hopefully that will help. I just 289 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 4: feel so bad for him, Like even now, he's so 290 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 4: scared that I'll divorce him or something, which I since 291 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 4: I've realized that I would be abandoning him to fend 292 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 4: off these people alone, and I won't do that. Oh, 293 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 4: I have four problems now. So one, how do we 294 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 4: leave without her noticing? My husband's writing his letter And 295 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 4: we'll give it to his uncle instead of directly handing 296 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 4: it to his mother. And I'll be done packing in 297 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 4: just a couple of hours. But I'm so scared that 298 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 4: she'll see us, scream at me, faint and split her 299 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 4: head open at the tarmac or something. 300 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 2: Like that. 301 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 4: One of my friends mentioned that she might have a 302 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 4: heart attack given her hypertension problem. That would be really extreme, 303 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 4: and no matter what she's done, I don't want her 304 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 4: to pass away or split her head open. So how 305 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 4: do I soften the blow a bit? Okay? Whoa? So 306 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 4: how should we soften the blow a bit? How should 307 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 4: we sneak out of this partment? 308 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: I don't think you should soften the blow? Oh yeah, Honestly, 309 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 2: I think that that is part of why she is 310 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 2: the way that she is, because she's, like I don't know, 311 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 2: she's probably just been able to get away with everything 312 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 2: for so long, or like catered after catered two for 313 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 2: so long. It just needs to be like, mom, we're 314 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 2: moving out, we're leaving, and do you want to know why? Yeah, 315 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 2: because we cannot can I don't. I cannot condone y'all 316 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 2: treating my wife this way. Yeah, eat that word, sandwich. 317 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 4: I do think that saying it over an email or 318 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 4: like a letter or something like that is a good idea, 319 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 4: because like she's you can still be hard with them 320 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 4: and like uh stern, but then it'll still avoid like 321 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 4: your trouble of being around a screaming woman. 322 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 2: You know, I mean that's honestly, that's probably better because 323 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,680 Speaker 2: if you're not talking, you can't get emotionally like got 324 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 2: so you can just craft whatever you want to give 325 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 2: to it. You give her the thing, you say, here's 326 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 2: what's going on. I'm not arguing with you about it. 327 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 2: I'm not engaging with you about this, so she can 328 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 2: read it and go and you just go. I told 329 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 2: you not talking to you about this. 330 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 4: But we have another question. If I get pregnant it's 331 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 4: unlikely and she becomes super nice again, do I forgive 332 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 4: and forget or hold on to the grudge. I think 333 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 4: I might let it go at the moment, but I 334 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 4: don't want to since some of you pointed out that 335 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 4: she may even pester me after I have kids and 336 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 4: I don't want them exposed to that kind of behavior. Yeah, 337 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 4: a quick little answer to that. I feel like talking 338 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 4: about the past and talking about like, hey, we can't 339 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 4: let that happen again, Like you have to, we have 340 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 4: to see what this is. Keep it an eye out, 341 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 4: because I feel like what you said, it's just she 342 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 4: would just be happy about it because it means that 343 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 4: she's gonna get a grandson. Just happy about the grandson. 344 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 2: You gotta put her on blast of being like, yeah, 345 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 2: so who do you see right now? Me standing in 346 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 2: front of you? What do you see? Do you do? 347 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 2: You just see a pregnant thing, but you see me 348 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 2: as a flea realized human who is carrying your grandchild 349 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 2: aka my child. 350 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 4: Next question from OP how do I make my husband 351 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 4: realize that he's been taken advantage of and that these 352 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 4: are not good people? I myself feel like they are 353 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 4: good people and just don't like me, but I was wrong. 354 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 4: It was painful to realize, but also important. I have 355 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 4: noticed parallels between their behavior towards me and my husband. 356 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 4: The only difference is they try to exclude me from 357 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 4: everything and include him and everything. I'm so scared that 358 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 4: it might really break him because he loves his family 359 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 4: so selflessly and endlessly. I don't think some therapy is 360 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 4: going to be enough. Just more therapy, then you'd be. 361 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 2: Really surprised at what happens when you realize certain things. 362 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 2: It's really hard once you realize certain things to put 363 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 2: the genie back in the bottle. 364 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 4: Do we stop going to any gatherings at all where 365 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,880 Speaker 4: my mother in law and aunt will be present, because 366 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 4: knowing them it won't be peaceful, and I'm scared that 367 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,399 Speaker 4: they'll tell people awful things about me. I know it's stupid, 368 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 4: but being hated by people you love is taxing enough. 369 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,360 Speaker 4: I don't think I want the same comments from strangers 370 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 4: as well. Also, since my mother in law has said 371 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,440 Speaker 4: that she won't claim me as her daughter in law 372 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,160 Speaker 4: if I don't give her a grandchild, so I am 373 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,639 Speaker 4: essentially off the hook for now, right I think so. 374 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 4: Thank you guys for helping. Honestly, these are basic steps 375 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 4: that we should have taken a long time ago, but 376 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,239 Speaker 4: it was hard to let go of the idea of 377 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 4: the perfect, loving family I had initially seen. I wanted 378 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,680 Speaker 4: to be a part of it so much because I thought, 379 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 4: before I came into the picture, it truly was a 380 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 4: happy and healthy family. I've realized that this is not true, 381 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,879 Speaker 4: at least not for my husband. I also want to 382 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,679 Speaker 4: acknowledge the gut wrenching position my husband is in. I 383 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 4: know it's incredibly hard for him, but I'll make sure 384 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 4: to let him know how much I love him and 385 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 4: that he's worth more than just the bills he pays. 386 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 4: He's a kind and amazing human who's a very integral 387 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 4: part of me, and I'm so grateful for him. I'm 388 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,720 Speaker 4: also weirdly excited now, like I'm smiling while writing this 389 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 4: and hopping around our room with clothes in my hands. Aw, 390 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 4: it's cute, but hopefully we can have the life we 391 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 4: envision for ourselves. When he proposed to me, thanks again, 392 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 4: I needed the push. Wow, and that's. 393 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 2: It, my gosh. But you know what story is? 394 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,920 Speaker 4: To find more episodes with more stories just like this one, 395 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 4: just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, your favorite podcast app 396 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 4: and search. Okay, story time, that's what she needs. But wow, well, okay, 397 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 4: so she's excited about moving. Is that what's happening? 398 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, well she's excited. It's like, you know, new phase. 399 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,439 Speaker 2: They've moved down. It's like they're getting some distance. Husband's 400 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 2: going to therapy. It's like things are happening, things are 401 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 2: changing inevitably, like you know, and who knows, you know, 402 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 2: these people could change. Maybe it's unlikely without outside assistance, 403 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 2: but it's like maybe if your husband has some you know, 404 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 2: breakthroughs in therapy and then translates those breakthroughs into you know, 405 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 2: conversations with his parents or sisters, like try maybe a. 406 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:43,399 Speaker 4: Little more, try to communicate based on that understanding. 407 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Maybe if he has some 408 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 2: new techniques, might be able to have more productive conversations. 409 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,119 Speaker 2: But again, a lot of people's behaviors out of our control. Yeah, 410 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 2: his mom being a monster or to his wife is 411 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 2: for the most part, completely out of his control or 412 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:01,360 Speaker 2: anyone's control really except for the mother. Oh yeah, it's 413 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 2: hard pill to swallow, for sure. My in laws pretend 414 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 2: to be perfect grandparents, but their actions say otherwise. 415 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 4: Oh they're two faced grandparents. 416 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:19,959 Speaker 2: Now, quick trigger warning, This story does mention a catcher 417 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 2: treatment and that process. So if that's something you don't 418 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 2: want to hear right now or listen to keep that 419 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 2: in mind. I female thirties, have been with my husband M, 420 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 2: male thirties for almost a decade, married for the majority 421 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 2: of it, with two small children, M, who will heretofore 422 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:42,919 Speaker 2: be referred to as Mark. Mark has one brother, the 423 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 2: brother in law, male thirties who's married to sister in 424 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 2: law female thirties. Okay, so we're gonna give them names. 425 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 2: Brother in law is Steve. Sister in law is Tony 426 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:59,719 Speaker 2: with an eye like a lady. They've been together quite 427 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,120 Speaker 2: a bit longer. But do not have children currently. By 428 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,960 Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user one loan Sock Left. 429 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 2: If you want to submit your own stories, go to 430 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subbured it. So. I have 431 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 2: always had some issues with mother in law, mainly after 432 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 2: I got pregnant with my first child. It was like 433 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 2: her personality completely changed. She had issues with my family 434 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 2: members and was extremely rude to them, acted inappropriately towards 435 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 2: children not even related to her at my baby shower, 436 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 2: and became extremely controlling in certain aspects. It only got 437 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 2: worse once I gave birth. To give you an idea, 438 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 2: once she knew that I hadn't eaten all day, she 439 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,360 Speaker 2: woke the baby up right when she saw I had 440 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 2: finished heating up my food to eat. I was breastfeeding 441 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:43,879 Speaker 2: at the time and had to stop what I was 442 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,520 Speaker 2: doing to go feed the baby. I was also very 443 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,399 Speaker 2: obviously going through major postpartum depression at the time. It 444 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 2: was evident in my actions, and it had been spoken 445 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 2: about when I wasn't able to visit them at their 446 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 2: camp with Mark and our only baby at the time, 447 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,639 Speaker 2: and there was a first that I wanted to be 448 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 2: a part of. Mother in law wanted to do it anyway, 449 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 2: and said, what OP doesn't know will hurt her. She's 450 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 2: trying to take away first moments with her child. Yes, 451 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 2: and it's like my grandchild. 452 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 1: It's like, eh, your old news. 453 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,439 Speaker 4: You already got that with your own regular children. 454 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 2: So she woke the baby up from a nap while 455 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,119 Speaker 2: we were visiting, after she knew I had battled to 456 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 2: get him to sleep. She gave him coffee without asking. Jail, 457 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 2: I'm saying to jail, you gave a baby coffee. Jail 458 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,920 Speaker 2: mom gives him coffee without asking. Many many, many more 459 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 2: things along those lines. I always dealt with these things 460 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 2: silently because I didn't want to cause waves. Girl, what 461 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 2: little did I know? We were all feeling some type 462 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 2: of way. So when mother in law and father in 463 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 2: law was told that I was pregnant with our second child, 464 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 2: father in law was excited, but mother in law barely 465 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 2: smiled and didn't seem very excited. When she found out 466 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,159 Speaker 2: we were having a girl this time, she wasn't excited 467 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,440 Speaker 2: at all. I thought I was just overreacting or looking 468 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,400 Speaker 2: too much into it, so I never said anything to anyone. However, 469 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,640 Speaker 2: they never want to take my daughter with them when 470 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,360 Speaker 2: they take my son. They asked to take my son 471 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,879 Speaker 2: for a week at a time, but never seem to 472 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 2: want to take my daughter. This has been pointed out 473 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 2: to them by an aunt and they just brush it off. 474 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 4: Is she not a woman herself? Was she not once 475 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:26,399 Speaker 4: a daughter baby? 476 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,119 Speaker 2: I don't know, But whatever goes on there psychologically is 477 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,480 Speaker 2: freaky and complicated. Last year, they decided to sell their 478 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 2: house and live permanently at their camper, which is a 479 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 2: permanent setup in Pennsylvania during the spring and summer and 480 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 2: down at another campground in Florida for the rest of 481 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 2: the year. Around the time they were selling their house, 482 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: my brother in law found out he was battling Stage 483 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 2: four answer they still made him help move all the 484 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 2: stuff in their house. Multiple times. When sister in law 485 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 2: tried to say they needed to get home, mother in 486 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,639 Speaker 2: law said, oh, you can go, brother in law can 487 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 2: stay and help. He was going through chemo at the time. 488 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 2: Not only that, but they barely checked in on brother 489 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 2: in law. Brother in law and sister in law would 490 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,919 Speaker 2: only hear from them when they wanted something and then 491 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 2: would ask how he was as an afterthought. But don't 492 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 2: you know it, she was Mom of the Year when 493 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 2: she actually went to an appointment or two. She tried 494 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 2: to tell sister in law she didn't need to go 495 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 2: to the appointments. Yet, sister in law has been the 496 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 2: rock of the entire situation. Can you imagine it's the 497 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,679 Speaker 2: absolute rock you have to have in your brain to 498 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:35,880 Speaker 2: tell your son's wife, yeah, you don't need to come 499 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 2: to your husband's answer treatment appointments. What a I am 500 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 2: so thank I love you mom, thank you for yeah 501 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 2: yeah ye yeah. She tried to tell sister in law 502 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 2: she didn't need to go to the appointments. However, sister 503 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,360 Speaker 2: in law has been the rock of this entire situation. 504 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 2: She even told Mark and I not to ask brother 505 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 2: in law about what was going on with his own 506 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 2: cancer because he didn't know and she could tell us better. 507 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 2: All of the extra stuff from their house stored at 508 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 2: brother in law and sister in law's house because they 509 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 2: were local. They did nothing with those items during the summer. 510 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,400 Speaker 2: Father in law picked up some odd jobs to do, 511 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,200 Speaker 2: so he stayed busy with work, but he would stay 512 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 2: at brother in law and sister in law's house a 513 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,439 Speaker 2: few nights a week without bothering to let them know, 514 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 2: despite being asked to and mother in law did nothing 515 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,720 Speaker 2: all day at the campground. Brother in law and sister 516 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 2: in law had to tell them to get their stuff 517 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 2: out before they headed south for the winter. Mother in 518 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,439 Speaker 2: law and father in law are still having stuff shipped 519 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 2: to brother in law and sister in law's house without 520 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 2: asking and just expecting them to hold it for them 521 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,160 Speaker 2: until they're back up north. Mother in law and father 522 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 2: in law also made comments about our parenting. It's all 523 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 2: gotten back to us. Keep in mind, my kids only 524 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 2: see them maybe three times a year. They are the 525 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 2: fun grandparents, not the there every day or even once 526 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 2: a week kind of grandparents. They also apparently talked about 527 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 2: how Mark and I never come to visit. We both 528 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,400 Speaker 2: work forty five hours a week and live four hours 529 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 2: away from them while raising a young family. Meanwhile they're retired. Yeah, no, definitely, 530 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,640 Speaker 2: we are the ones who need to make the effort here. 531 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. 532 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 2: What, They made no effort to come see the kids, 533 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 2: but expected us to completely uproot our busy lives for them. 534 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 2: In October, they wanted to come pick up my son 535 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 2: and take him up to camp for a few days 536 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,120 Speaker 2: before Mark and I would head up with our daughter 537 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,200 Speaker 2: for the early Halloween weekend. Mark had plans he could 538 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,919 Speaker 2: not miss that weekend, and I ended up having to work. 539 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,439 Speaker 2: This is the only reason why mother in law asked 540 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,479 Speaker 2: if she could pick up daughter as well. Mark and 541 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,440 Speaker 2: I said we would rather her not go, as it 542 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 2: would be her first time walking and trick or treating 543 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 2: and we wanted to be there for that. Mother in 544 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 2: law said, it is it worth that just to get 545 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 2: my son, so they decided not to have him at all. 546 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 2: Her excuse was it was way too much driving. Before 547 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 2: they went to Florida. We had agreed to meet them 548 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,399 Speaker 2: halfway and they didn't even leave for Florida for another 549 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,959 Speaker 2: two weeks. She lied to us about when they were 550 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,719 Speaker 2: leaving in November December. Once they were down in Florida, 551 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: they called and asked if she could fly up, take 552 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,400 Speaker 2: our son on his first plane ride down to Florida 553 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,640 Speaker 2: and keep him for two weeks. This is the same 554 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,840 Speaker 2: woman who said a two hour drive was not worth 555 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,479 Speaker 2: spending time with her grandson. We said we would think 556 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 2: about it, but we obviously did not let that happen. 557 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,360 Speaker 2: Mark and I talked and realized they would have done 558 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 2: something like taking him to Disney World and not told 559 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 2: us until after the fact when we said we don't 560 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,119 Speaker 2: know if we would be okay with that long of 561 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,960 Speaker 2: a time away anyway, she said it wouldn't be worth 562 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,919 Speaker 2: it for just a week. Again, there's her saying, my 563 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 2: kids aren't worth it. Oh and just to add, the 564 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,160 Speaker 2: two hour drive before wasn't worth it for my kids, 565 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,160 Speaker 2: but a flight to spend a week with my kid 566 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 2: isn't worth it. But it was definitely worth it when 567 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,680 Speaker 2: they flew from Pennsylvania to Florida for a cruise during 568 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,879 Speaker 2: their time up north. Make it make sense. Your parents 569 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 2: kind of suck. Sorry, that's what makes sense. I mean 570 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,960 Speaker 2: your in law suck, not your parents. Mother in law 571 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 2: was recently in the hospital. She was admitted to the 572 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,879 Speaker 2: hospital had to have a biopsy in surgery, which we 573 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 2: didn't know until days after she had been admitted. Father 574 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 2: in law lied to his sister this Aunt. She is 575 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 2: so sweet and caring and has been so understanding about 576 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 2: what mother in law and father in law have been 577 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 2: putting us all through, saying that we knew she was 578 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:31,199 Speaker 2: in the hospital. He told us immediately after talking to 579 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 2: say June Aunt. June. Then they lied about when she 580 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 2: was released from the hospital. Wait, can we just acknowledge 581 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,479 Speaker 2: really quick, how dumb of a lie that is. So 582 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 2: he talks to the aunt June and is like they 583 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 2: already knew, and then called them and then told them 584 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,719 Speaker 2: you could have just done it the other way, and 585 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 2: technically you wouldn't have even been lying right, right, But 586 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 2: you can't even do that right. Then they lied about 587 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 2: when she was released from the hospital, flat out said 588 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 2: a different date, no idea. Why, oh my god, Rush 589 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 2: the latest is father in law's birthday being this week 590 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 2: and we all reached out via Facebook or text to 591 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 2: wish him a happy birthday. Keep in mind we have 592 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 2: never really called on birthdays. I know Mark hasn't received 593 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 2: a birthday call from them in a while, and I 594 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 2: never have. Brother in law is lucky if they even 595 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 2: bother to get a hold of him. Usually he doesn't 596 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 2: want to hear. Usually he doesn't hear from them for months. Well, 597 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 2: apparently this wasn't enough for mother in law. She texted 598 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 2: Mark and brother in law and said she was disappointed 599 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 2: in them for not calling their father. And this seems 600 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 2: to be the straw that broke the Campbell's back. Mark 601 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 2: didn't respond because he's at the point where he's like 602 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:42,719 Speaker 2: screw them. But brother in law is rightfully fed up 603 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 2: and done. All of us are questioning if we are 604 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 2: even going to bother to go to camp at all 605 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 2: this summer. We didn't expect anything out of them. If 606 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 2: that is the retired life they want, that's fine. We're 607 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 2: just tired of them acting like they are parents or 608 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 2: grandparents of the year, when really all they is to 609 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 2: seem like it without doing any of the work. At 610 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 2: this point, I don't care, nor do I think we 611 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,080 Speaker 2: are overreacting for keeping our distance at it. I forgot 612 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: to mention. To this day, they will still bring up 613 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 2: how Mark caused the house fire that destroyed their house 614 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 2: over ten years ago. Whoa because he had his truck 615 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 2: plugged in. Woh, sounds more like something's wrong with the 616 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,360 Speaker 2: house is wiring. But she has brought it up numerous 617 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,719 Speaker 2: times over the year, and we do have an update. 618 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 4: Iikes, that's a crazy thing to throw it there for 619 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 4: you in your darn electric truck. 620 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 2: Our house wouldn't have burned down. It's like, well, mom, 621 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 2: remember when the contractor told you the whole house was 622 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 2: wired with aluminum wiring and you said that's. 623 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,240 Speaker 4: A scam, And you're trying to steal our money. 624 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 2: I would bet my my internal organs that that was 625 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 2: a conversation that was had with her, and she went, 626 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with illuminum wiring. They've done it for 627 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 2: hundreds of years and it's totally fine. Yeah, and then 628 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 2: you plug the truck and the whole house turns into 629 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 2: a light show. Yeah, you have an update. Before I 630 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 2: get to the main story, I want to add that 631 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 2: I found out that she had deluted me off of Facebook. 632 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:11,480 Speaker 1: Ooh. 633 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,840 Speaker 2: I only figured this out because I went to block 634 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 2: her and father in law from seeing my future posts 635 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 2: and I couldn't find her. She texted me on Saturday 636 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,800 Speaker 2: asking if I was home and if they could video 637 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,680 Speaker 2: chat with the kids. I don't know why that day 638 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 2: was finally the day, but I knew I couldn't deal 639 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 2: with just ignoring her anymore, so I responded to her 640 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 2: with the following quote. I'm not sure when you deleted 641 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,320 Speaker 2: me off Facebook. Just noticed last week in August, when 642 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 2: it would have just been my son coming up, you 643 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 2: said it wouldn't be worth meeting us halfway for him 644 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,479 Speaker 2: to come up. When on the phone asking about flying 645 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 2: up from Florida, you said it wouldn't be worth seeing 646 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 2: my son for just a week. I have let many 647 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 2: things slide before, but that sent bells off in both 648 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 2: my and Mark's mind. We have been made aware of 649 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 2: many comments you guys have made about our parenting and 650 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 2: how you would do it differently. I am also aware 651 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 2: of things that have happened, such as you saying what 652 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 2: hope he doesn't know won't hurt her when Mark stopped 653 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 2: you from doing a first of our sons when I 654 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,959 Speaker 2: could not come up to camp. We are also aware 655 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 2: of comments about how we didn't make an effort to 656 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,120 Speaker 2: come see you guys this summer when we are extremely 657 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 2: busy and a young family, and the logistics of making 658 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 2: a huge trip like that often isn't feasible for us. 659 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 2: There are other things that have really upset me over 660 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,960 Speaker 2: the past year as well, but it is not my 661 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 2: story or experience to tell. I do not want to 662 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 2: get into a long discussion over this. I just want 663 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 2: to enjoy the only day off I have with Mark 664 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 2: once he's home for the next few weeks. Crickets. Then 665 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 2: a few hours later, my father in law sent me 666 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 2: a picture of a turtle and asked me to show 667 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 2: my son. Once again, he excluded my daughter. I told 668 00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:00,120 Speaker 2: him that I would and left it at that. Saturday, 669 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 2: the mother in law sent me a friend request, but 670 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 2: I just let it sit there. On Sunday, Mark sent 671 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 2: a message basically backing everything that I set up, but 672 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,360 Speaker 2: called them out for only being grandparents when it's convenient 673 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 2: and that they have two grandchildren and not one. He 674 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,960 Speaker 2: also said something about not trusting them with the kids alone, 675 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 2: and they got a little chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp crickets. 676 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 2: Brother in law sent his own message related to his 677 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 2: own issues with mother in law, and her response sent 678 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 2: me through the roof. She said, brother in law, I 679 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 2: understand what you're saying, but it works both ways. You 680 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 2: never call us, and you never called the check on 681 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 2: me after surgery. 682 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,600 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, the whole the phone works both ways, 683 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 4: that whole line. 684 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 1: What are you gonna do? 685 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 4: Those whoa. 686 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 2: You see what I'm doing right here? Snip snip cutting ties, cut. 687 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,400 Speaker 4: Them off them off. 688 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 2: Your son, the brother in law had stage four cancer 689 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 2: and you're saying, phone works both ways. 690 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 4: So take your own freaking advice. 691 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 3: My guy. 692 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, here we go. Okay, I saw red red. 693 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 2: She is referring to her most recent surgery from the 694 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 2: hospital visit. They only told us about after June asked 695 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 2: if we knew and they said yes, when we didn't, 696 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,239 Speaker 2: they'd been there for days. Then they lied about the 697 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 2: day they left. How is that comparable to battling? Can sir? Yeah? 698 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 2: But literally, She's like, you didn't even call when I 699 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:38,320 Speaker 2: was in the hospital. 700 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 4: You freaking. 701 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,040 Speaker 2: Ah do with these people? I wouldn't even entertain this. 702 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 2: I would completely stop talking about move of life, but 703 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,759 Speaker 2: never associate with the people ever get in my life? Right, Okay, 704 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 2: here we are. So. She also spoke to brother in 705 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,240 Speaker 2: law on the phone yesterday and basically played victim with everything. 706 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:08,879 Speaker 1: She said. 707 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 2: It cost them six to seven hundred dollars every weekend 708 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,880 Speaker 2: they come to visit us. They choose to get an 709 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 2: expensive hotel room instead of staying with us, the dummies, 710 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 2: and they can't afford that. But then says that they 711 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,320 Speaker 2: have invited us all down to Florida and would pay 712 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,359 Speaker 2: for airfare, and they go on multiple cruises every year. 713 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,720 Speaker 4: We can pay for we can pay for you guys. 714 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,320 Speaker 4: The mom died and then the sun, but we don't. 715 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,440 Speaker 4: Oh sorry, we ran out of money for the daughter. 716 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 4: Oh sorry. 717 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:40,360 Speaker 2: Okay, So again, if that's what they want out of retirement, 718 00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 2: that's fine. Just don't make excuses and make us look 719 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,200 Speaker 2: like the bad guys. She also reiterated that it would 720 00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,359 Speaker 2: not have been worth it for the times to see 721 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,720 Speaker 2: my son again, just my son, for that Florida trip, 722 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 2: so she's doubled down on the whole worth it thing. 723 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 2: She also told brother in law that the ball is 724 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,399 Speaker 2: now in March andized court to reach out to her. 725 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 2: Neither of us have heard any response to our messages 726 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 2: explaining why we were fed up. Mother in law truly 727 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 2: feels like a victim and all this she's wanting an apology, 728 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,000 Speaker 2: But I'm not sorry for finally speaking my truth and 729 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 2: standing up for myself. But I guess we all know 730 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,120 Speaker 2: that narks are unable to see the wrong they do. 731 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:18,880 Speaker 2: Oh and they still haven't tried to contact sister in 732 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,520 Speaker 2: law at all. It's been three months all those now 733 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,319 Speaker 2: since she's heard from them. All in all, I'm at 734 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 2: peace with it. I know I handled it calmly and maturely, 735 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 2: which God bless you, because I would not have and 736 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 2: I don't have time for adult temper tantrums. Thank you 737 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,040 Speaker 2: to everyone who commented on the previous post, I truly 738 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,359 Speaker 2: think you help me get the courage to speak up. 739 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,320 Speaker 5: By the way, it's gonna take a lot of courage 740 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 5: for you to listen to full episodes with stories like this, 741 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:49,520 Speaker 5: thirteen hundred hours worth of them on Spotify, on iHeartRadio, 742 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 5: on Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts, search Okay 743 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,400 Speaker 5: story Time, and you can start digging through those archives, 744 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,880 Speaker 5: and it's gonna take you a minute. 745 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,960 Speaker 2: We have a final update hereund out last night that Grandma, 746 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,800 Speaker 2: mother in law's mom has been in the hospital since Monday. 747 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 2: She fell, but is okay from that. However, she has pneumonia. 748 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,719 Speaker 2: Mother in law didn't bother to tell brother in law 749 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,040 Speaker 2: during her call where she was painting herself as a victim. 750 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 2: We found out through cousins. I am one hundred percent 751 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:24,840 Speaker 2: done with this woman. What if something happened to Grandma 752 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 2: and the guys didn't have a chance to speak to her. 753 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 2: Do you have any idea the wrath that would rain 754 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,600 Speaker 2: down for me if one of my parents hid that 755 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:37,320 Speaker 2: mind Nana was in the hospital with a serious complication 756 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 2: or illness or whatever. You dude, Yeah, which they would 757 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 2: never do that. But mother in law has shown her 758 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 2: true colors, and I don't want any children anywhere near 759 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 2: that toxicity. Yeah, the toxicity. Uh and that is the 760 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 2: end of that story. 761 00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Dude, separate yourself. Try to have 762 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 4: good contact with the rest of the family so that 763 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,239 Speaker 4: you can find out from other people and that this 764 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,319 Speaker 4: doesn't have to be, you know, your only way of 765 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 4: getting updates on the rest of the family. That's just ridiculous. 766 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,200 Speaker 4: So many things that a mother should not do, should 767 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 4: not do. 768 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,880 Speaker 2: I'm Sam here, We're gonna get back to the stories. 769 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 3: But here's three of it's bads from our sponsors. 770 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:27,520 Speaker 1: My partner cheated on me, but my US legal status 771 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:28,319 Speaker 1: depends on her. 772 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,160 Speaker 4: Ooh, that's tough, tight spot. 773 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,200 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to stay with the cheator to stay 774 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,000 Speaker 1: in the United States? Rough well were living. I met 775 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,879 Speaker 1: my girlfriend over a year ago while on a Jay 776 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: one visa in the US. I met her only nine 777 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,719 Speaker 1: days after arriving, so we basically spent my entire three 778 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: months there together. We fell in love pretty fast and 779 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 1: had an amazing time. We knew I had to go 780 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 1: home at the end of the three months, but we 781 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:59,760 Speaker 1: had many deep conversations about us and what we wanted, 782 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,239 Speaker 1: we decided we'd give being in a long distance relationship 783 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,760 Speaker 1: are shot by the way. This comes from Strange Holiday 784 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 1: sixty six and if you want to see your own stories, 785 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,560 Speaker 1: go to our slash Okay storytime Suburdy. So I left 786 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 1: the States, and about four weeks later she came to 787 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 1: visit me in my home country. It was like a movie, 788 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,239 Speaker 1: showing her the small town I grew up in and 789 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,600 Speaker 1: all the places I went as a kid. We'd even 790 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 1: did a little trip around some other nearby countries. We 791 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 1: both had a very convenient work situation where we could 792 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 1: be remote, so every six months, one of us would 793 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,000 Speaker 1: go visit another for a month. That's fire on the 794 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,200 Speaker 1: past days we were apart. We would FaceTime every single 795 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,120 Speaker 1: day and never missed a day. Talking to her was 796 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,760 Speaker 1: so easy. It got to a stage where we realized 797 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,600 Speaker 1: that going back and forth wasn't suitable, so we looked 798 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,680 Speaker 1: into moving into the same country together. She happens to 799 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,799 Speaker 1: be a European citizen through her dad, so it made 800 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,799 Speaker 1: sense for her to at least try to move to 801 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,480 Speaker 1: my country for a bit and make work remotely. We 802 00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 1: had a great time, but we realized pretty quickly that 803 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: the lifestyle in my country wasn't really suited for us 804 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 1: and the life we wanted, and the job market is 805 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 1: completely trash. So we decided that because everything about the 806 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 1: relationship was perfect, we would get legally married so I 807 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 1: could live with her in the States Eagle Noise. It 808 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,719 Speaker 1: made more sense even for things outside of the relationship. 809 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,319 Speaker 1: For example, I have a STEM degree that would pay 810 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 1: extremely well in the city she's from, and it's very 811 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,280 Speaker 1: hard for me to get a STEM job in my hometown. 812 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,080 Speaker 1: She also has a very close relationship with her family, 813 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,840 Speaker 1: and I'm on good terms with mine, but definitely not 814 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,880 Speaker 1: as close. Anyways, I'm extremely excited for this new life 815 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,800 Speaker 1: in the US. I have a lot of friends in 816 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 1: her city from living there, and I have the potential 817 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,319 Speaker 1: to make a serious amount of money. I came to 818 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,640 Speaker 1: the US and we legally got married, and while I'm 819 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,439 Speaker 1: waiting for my green card, I was able to get 820 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:54,920 Speaker 1: an ead work permit, with which I have secured a 821 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,799 Speaker 1: dream job in this dream city that is paying me 822 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,640 Speaker 1: three x the amount more money than any job I've 823 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,040 Speaker 1: ever had in my life. I started the job yesterday 824 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,280 Speaker 1: and he's with this dream girl, so perfect. 825 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,840 Speaker 4: I think we just told the story. We're happy, everyone's happy. 826 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:11,440 Speaker 1: You just leave it as is. 827 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,680 Speaker 4: Everything's okay. I hope he doesn't seem to know about 828 00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,200 Speaker 4: the cheating yet I'm really worried. 829 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,760 Speaker 1: Or there isn't anything, or there isn't any. 830 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:22,720 Speaker 6: Cheating, But you know, I think you just right now. 831 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 6: You keep working in this relationship until you get that 832 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:26,239 Speaker 6: green card. 833 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then after two years the hook. Anyways, around 834 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,879 Speaker 1: the time of anniversary of us deciding to be exclusive, 835 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 1: she started acting weird when I was talking about it 836 00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,960 Speaker 1: and saying a happy day and we should mark the occasion. 837 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,120 Speaker 1: She didn't respond to my text about it and avoided 838 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 1: the conversation. When I talked about it in person, she 839 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,239 Speaker 1: put it down to being so stressed out at work, 840 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,279 Speaker 1: and to be fair, she does have a stressful job, 841 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,680 Speaker 1: so I believed her, but I still had a weird 842 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:56,400 Speaker 1: feeling in my stomach. So I said it again a 843 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,839 Speaker 1: few weeks later, that we should do something to mark 844 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,600 Speaker 1: the occasion now that work is less stressful, even if 845 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:06,759 Speaker 1: it's late. Now she got weird about it again. Don't 846 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:11,120 Speaker 1: do it, don't snoop, which I'm not proud of, but 847 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,840 Speaker 1: I know it's frown upon by many, but we have 848 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:17,360 Speaker 1: talked about it and given each other license to snoop. 849 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 1: She snoops on my phone all the time and I 850 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,360 Speaker 1: don't care, as I have nothing to anyway. All I 851 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:27,120 Speaker 1: did was search the name of the guy she was 852 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 1: seen before me in her text, and all I saw 853 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 1: is what I needed to know. No, she was just 854 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,799 Speaker 1: asking him about like travel recommendations, Yeah, because they used 855 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,200 Speaker 1: to like travel a lot. So he's like, Hey, I'm 856 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,640 Speaker 1: going to his home country. What should I do? 857 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,680 Speaker 4: Just surprise him, she said, hey, I'm traveling to that. 858 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,120 Speaker 1: I understood what we were going for and I appreciate it. 859 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,800 Speaker 1: Thank you. The next morning, I was in a terrible 860 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:58,040 Speaker 1: mood and she could see this, so after persistently asking why, 861 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,839 Speaker 1: I said that I saw something on her on and 862 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:04,560 Speaker 1: I needed her to explain it to me. Honestly, long 863 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:08,000 Speaker 1: story short, she had hooked up with this guy about 864 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:11,360 Speaker 1: a week after we had exclusive. They weren't on a 865 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 1: dinner day, went to a nightclub after and went back 866 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,840 Speaker 1: to her apartment where I had stayed the night before 867 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,759 Speaker 1: this happened and the night after this happened, and had 868 00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:22,880 Speaker 1: spicy sleep. 869 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:23,320 Speaker 4: Girl. 870 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,719 Speaker 1: I'm heartbroken and I don't know what to do. We 871 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:31,960 Speaker 1: had such a dream relationship and everything is great. Other 872 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:34,840 Speaker 1: than this, I also can't stay in this dream job 873 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,200 Speaker 1: in this really cool city if we break up. The 874 00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,480 Speaker 1: situation in my home country is kind of bleak. So 875 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: I'm conflicted for these reasons. She also said that if 876 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,840 Speaker 1: I decided to leave her, she completely understands, but also 877 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:51,279 Speaker 1: doesn't want to wait around pretending to be with me 878 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,000 Speaker 1: until I get my green card. I know we're in 879 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,840 Speaker 1: the early days, and I understand long distance is tough, 880 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,120 Speaker 1: but I think I have a right to be sad 881 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,040 Speaker 1: if she has spicy sleep with someone else after we 882 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,040 Speaker 1: agreed to be exclusive. Does anyone have thoughts on what 883 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 1: I should do? 884 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:06,360 Speaker 2: Update? 885 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 6: Ooh man, this is tricky because like normally I'd be 886 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:11,160 Speaker 6: like leave her. 887 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, obviously, but the green card stuff makes it. 888 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:15,280 Speaker 2: It's tricky. 889 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:18,799 Speaker 6: Sam Chan or Sam Chean, you cheated, so now you 890 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,200 Speaker 6: owe me as citizenship. Ye, you cheated, so you got 891 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:22,680 Speaker 6: to marry me. 892 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:23,520 Speaker 4: It's the rules. 893 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,320 Speaker 6: Yeah, Hannah says, shoot, yeah, is there another way you 894 00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:27,239 Speaker 6: can get at least like a. 895 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,040 Speaker 4: Work green card temporarily? Okay, she's over right now? 896 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:30,319 Speaker 1: What? 897 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:31,360 Speaker 4: Yeah? 898 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be good because he does have a job. 899 00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,400 Speaker 6: I would just say, like, I don't want to continue 900 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,080 Speaker 6: this relationship, but if you could give me a little 901 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,440 Speaker 6: bit of time to get everything sorted because I don't 902 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:41,720 Speaker 6: want to necessarily. 903 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 2: Leave the country right now. 904 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, but I will like do whatever I can to 905 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:48,319 Speaker 6: get a green card or some sort of visa extension 906 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:48,959 Speaker 6: right now. 907 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, we got an update. I guess more people responded 908 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,279 Speaker 1: to my post than I expected, and I said, I 909 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,959 Speaker 1: give you an update. So here it is. Oh man, 910 00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,399 Speaker 1: so much crap has happened, and I don't know where 911 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,400 Speaker 1: to begin. I just want to let the dust settle 912 00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,399 Speaker 1: a bit before I posted anything else. But anyway, here 913 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,239 Speaker 1: I am, and I'll try to keep it as short 914 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,600 Speaker 1: as I can. Long story short. I didn't want to 915 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,120 Speaker 1: leave the United States and my job, but I'm also 916 00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 1: not a complete psychopath, and I can't fake a relationship 917 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,560 Speaker 1: for two plus years to get a green card. My 918 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,720 Speaker 1: guilty conscious would unlive me. So I decided to try 919 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,040 Speaker 1: and make the marriage genuinely work. Yes, I talked to 920 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,040 Speaker 1: a lawyer about it. By the way, we had very 921 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,520 Speaker 1: unproductive arguments about it all. Initially I had her sister 922 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:34,520 Speaker 1: calling me telling me I need just get over it 923 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:38,319 Speaker 1: because dating in California is brutal, and I should be 924 00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,200 Speaker 1: okay with cheating. I also found out a whole lot 925 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,720 Speaker 1: more crap about her. This isn't the first time she cheated. 926 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:50,120 Speaker 1: She cheated on other mostly significant boyfriends before me, with 927 00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,040 Speaker 1: her old boss from work multiple times. 928 00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:54,680 Speaker 4: No, I continue to look up. 929 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,400 Speaker 1: With the boss until a couple of months before we met. 930 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:05,400 Speaker 6: Some boss boss whoa No, the girl, what is this 931 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:06,120 Speaker 6: she doing? 932 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,799 Speaker 4: Why getting into relationships? Stop it? 933 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, and stop believing this guy on there's some. 934 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,080 Speaker 2: Serious relationship relationships. 935 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,360 Speaker 1: And then get someone to go to your country. 936 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,000 Speaker 4: You had to fly out to you to. 937 00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:20,279 Speaker 1: The United States. You get everything settled, and then you're like, 938 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,280 Speaker 1: I'm not so sure about this, knowing. 939 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,040 Speaker 4: That you've all no, but knowing that she's already cheated on. 940 00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:25,480 Speaker 1: Him, knowing that she's already cheated on him, and then 941 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,280 Speaker 1: put him in like, hey, here's everything you've ever wanted. 942 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,160 Speaker 1: I cheated on you by and you. 943 00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:33,440 Speaker 4: Have to leave bye, Like what messed up? That is 944 00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,759 Speaker 4: so much up in the head, Like how can you live? 945 00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:37,879 Speaker 1: Like do it to someone in the United States, don't 946 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,680 Speaker 1: do it as someone else in another country. You know, 947 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,960 Speaker 1: if you're gonna do it don't do it, but the 948 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,800 Speaker 1: priority list is the United States. This guy. Why is 949 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,279 Speaker 1: this relevant, you ask, because around when she told me this, 950 00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:53,000 Speaker 1: I realized that this was the same work friend who 951 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:56,880 Speaker 1: calls her all the time and sends her risky and 952 00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:01,480 Speaker 1: often ask to hang out outside of work works at 953 00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 1: least a couple of times a month, and she always 954 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:09,759 Speaker 1: entertains that bus then found out she was still on 955 00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,359 Speaker 1: dating apps for the first six months of us being 956 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 1: officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I still to this day don't 957 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,520 Speaker 1: know if anything came from that, but who knows. I 958 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,239 Speaker 1: don't like it. There were some more smaller things, which 959 00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:23,520 Speaker 1: I won't get into right now, but you get the idea. 960 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:28,240 Speaker 1: Long story short. Eventually admits to being in the wrong 961 00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:32,520 Speaker 1: here sincerely I think, apologizes after some therapy, et cetera, 962 00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:38,800 Speaker 1: and the dust appears to be sidling, she gets all, wait, 963 00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:43,680 Speaker 1: psych Okay. It continues and gets gradually worse, so a 964 00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,479 Speaker 1: few months later we're not arguing anymore. All seems fine, 965 00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:50,120 Speaker 1: except we almost never have spicy sleep. Sometimes I try 966 00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,880 Speaker 1: to initiate and she just rejects it. Maybe we'd have 967 00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,960 Speaker 1: spicy sleep twice a month. Not ideal, but worse things 968 00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,360 Speaker 1: can happen. Anyway, we go to a couple of parties, 969 00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:01,840 Speaker 1: but each time we go to one, she gets wasted. 970 00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:06,120 Speaker 1: This girl usually barely drinks. She's quite small, though, so 971 00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:09,000 Speaker 1: I'm thinking a little booze could go a long ways 972 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:12,960 Speaker 1: on her. Anyways, I start finding these for tom supplies 973 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,160 Speaker 1: in her car and in her purse, et cetera. For 974 00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,120 Speaker 1: those who don't know about it, look at some Reddit 975 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,120 Speaker 1: threads about it. This crap is highly regular user I've 976 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,799 Speaker 1: and ruins people's lives. Oh so it's like a substance. Yeah, 977 00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,840 Speaker 1: and it really affects how you deal with booze. So anyways, 978 00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:28,719 Speaker 1: I bring it up to her that I found these 979 00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:32,759 Speaker 1: for Tom shots and I hope it's not a way 980 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,880 Speaker 1: of self harming. It erupts into a huge argument. She 981 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,560 Speaker 1: starts telling me she doesn't like telling me about her problems. 982 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,640 Speaker 1: It was so much easier with her ex, who she 983 00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,640 Speaker 1: cheated on with her old boss. Says she doesn't want 984 00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,200 Speaker 1: to have spicy sleep because of little things I do 985 00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:52,000 Speaker 1: think she thinks are unattractive. Some examples of these are 986 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:56,160 Speaker 1: I use Google maps, well, bringing us on a date 987 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,560 Speaker 1: one time. Wait once. 988 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,200 Speaker 6: It wow me for I mean, honestly not me, I 989 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,920 Speaker 6: guess because I use it all the time. 990 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, you supposed to know. 991 00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,239 Speaker 4: Psychically where it is. 992 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,920 Speaker 3: And again, op, he's not even from this area. 993 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,120 Speaker 4: It's not even from this area. 994 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,800 Speaker 1: And she's like, yeah, google Maps. 995 00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,239 Speaker 4: He's like, I did not, and I don't know where 996 00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:19,400 Speaker 4: to go and Google. 997 00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:21,680 Speaker 1: That's crazy that she thinks this because she's. 998 00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,960 Speaker 4: Or maybe she's just like, you should have been using Apple. 999 00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:26,560 Speaker 1: Maps, that's what she thinks. But she should use Google 1000 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,319 Speaker 1: Maps because whenever you travel, Kean, what do you use? 1001 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:30,120 Speaker 4: I use Apple? 1002 00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,919 Speaker 6: Use Google Maps, Google Apple Maps, google Maps exclusively. 1003 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:36,040 Speaker 4: I use Apple Maps. 1004 00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:39,520 Speaker 1: Google Maps are more wrap sucks? Yeah, no, no, no, whenever 1005 00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,960 Speaker 1: you go, whenever you go abroad. Whenever I was in Bali, 1006 00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:44,160 Speaker 1: you just use Google Maps. I try to use Apple. 1007 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,080 Speaker 1: It put me in wrong spots because they don't update it. 1008 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,520 Speaker 1: They updated a lot in the United States, not while traveling. 1009 00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,080 Speaker 1: I asked if she could stop scrolling on Instagram while 1010 00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,880 Speaker 1: we were out for dinner. I'm not forceful enough, whatever 1011 00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,560 Speaker 1: that means. I don't make as much money as some 1012 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,040 Speaker 1: of the guys she works with. I make over six figures. 1013 00:49:59,200 --> 00:49:59,279 Speaker 4: Loo. 1014 00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,839 Speaker 1: My arms are too skinny too. Apparently her exes were 1015 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:07,080 Speaker 1: way bigger. I used to beget a Simmi Pro sprinter, 1016 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:10,359 Speaker 1: and I'm by no means in bad shape. I'm also six'. Four, 1017 00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:14,040 Speaker 1: anyways this argument was my first time ever actually losing 1018 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:17,239 Speaker 1: my cool with. HER i shouted regrettably and called her, 1019 00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,840 Speaker 1: crazy almost broke, up BUT i REMEMBERED i wanted to 1020 00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:22,319 Speaker 1: keep my, job so, AGAIN i worked through it AS. 1021 00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,840 Speaker 1: FOD a month or, two she's doing therapy and generally 1022 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,719 Speaker 1: making an. Effort we're having spicy sleep. Again we talk 1023 00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,759 Speaker 1: about our, problems but only On. Sundays the rest of the, 1024 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,720 Speaker 1: week we just do nice things when we're not, working 1025 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,680 Speaker 1: and it's. Fun her old boss is, blocked and there 1026 00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:39,560 Speaker 1: doesn't seem to be any issues other than her trying 1027 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,440 Speaker 1: to be her reliance to those tom. SHOTS i can 1028 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,160 Speaker 1: see that she's really trying to not let me. Go 1029 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,200 Speaker 1: she jumps out of bed every morning to make me, 1030 00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,840 Speaker 1: breakfast cooks me dinner every, night makes an effort to 1031 00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,719 Speaker 1: do things with, me et. Cetera she got a little more, 1032 00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:56,200 Speaker 1: controlling BUT i don't mind using the excuse Of i'm 1033 00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:59,320 Speaker 1: your wife, now so that's. Okay this is all well 1034 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,520 Speaker 1: and good until my mother calls me and tells me 1035 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,640 Speaker 1: my granddad is sick back home and may have a 1036 00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:07,960 Speaker 1: couple of weeks. LEFT i was very close with my. 1037 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,840 Speaker 1: Granddad we spoke on the phone a lot WHILE i was, 1038 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,160 Speaker 1: away AND i grew up with him as if he 1039 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,840 Speaker 1: was a second, father who was also in perfect. Shape 1040 00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:17,839 Speaker 1: the last TIME i saw, him he was a pro 1041 00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,480 Speaker 1: soccer player and never smoke or drank his whole. Life 1042 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,600 Speaker 1: just got him at eighty eight and he went downhill 1043 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,920 Speaker 1: within a couple of. Weeks n really. Hard also not 1044 00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,480 Speaker 1: bad time with the. Grandpa grandpa did, great but this 1045 00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:31,320 Speaker 1: is just bad time FOR. 1046 00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:35,319 Speaker 4: OP i. Know i'm, like what's gonna. Happen someone's gonna move. 1047 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,640 Speaker 6: In, Yeah i'm pretty sure that would make kind of 1048 00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,480 Speaker 6: visa situation a little bit hard if you leave the. 1049 00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:41,759 Speaker 4: COUNTRY i don't know right. 1050 00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,440 Speaker 6: Now, yeah, YEAH i don't know how that would. 1051 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,360 Speaker 4: Work, well she'd be? Faithful? 1052 00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,200 Speaker 7: Simple can she be faithful for two? Weeks she seems 1053 00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:54,040 Speaker 7: like it's pretty. HARD i don't have a travel. Pert 1054 00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,640 Speaker 7: IF i leave THE, US i lose this green card. 1055 00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,319 Speaker 7: APPLICATION i talked to my. 1056 00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,920 Speaker 1: Lawyer, yes but for the first, TIME i consider giving 1057 00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:03,319 Speaker 1: up everything because it would mince a lot to. Me 1058 00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,520 Speaker 1: to see him before he passed. AWAY i, thought, well 1059 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,160 Speaker 1: at LEAST i could reapply for the green, card but 1060 00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:09,919 Speaker 1: my wife made it very clear that IF i went 1061 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:15,000 Speaker 1: home she would divorce. ME i was, lost, confused, sad and. 1062 00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,799 Speaker 1: Emotional in a few days WHERE i was hesitant on my, 1063 00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:21,959 Speaker 1: decision my grandpa passed. AWAY i was completely. Heartbroken while 1064 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,680 Speaker 1: my wife was there for, ME i still resented her 1065 00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,640 Speaker 1: for what she said about IF i go. Home, HOWEVER 1066 00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,560 Speaker 1: i kept quiet about this. ONE i really don't have 1067 00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,440 Speaker 1: the energy to argue. Anymore. Anyways fast forward to the 1068 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,960 Speaker 1: last month or. Two she's doing well in. Work it's 1069 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,920 Speaker 1: also commission based real estate, job and her company is 1070 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:42,120 Speaker 1: having an event In nashville for people aged twenty to 1071 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,160 Speaker 1: thirty all over the world who are working at that. 1072 00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:47,200 Speaker 1: Company she tells me that she and a few of 1073 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:50,160 Speaker 1: her friends from the office are. Invited the company is 1074 00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:53,319 Speaker 1: paying for the. Hotel she, SAYS i could, come, go go. 1075 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:56,120 Speaker 1: Go other people are bringing their. PARTNERS i also have 1076 00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,320 Speaker 1: a couple of close friends In nashville who have always 1077 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,359 Speaker 1: wanted to. VISIT i, think, yeah, alright why. 1078 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:01,440 Speaker 4: Not, Okay, nope he's. 1079 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:02,520 Speaker 2: Coming keep an eye on. 1080 00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:05,399 Speaker 1: Her angie AND i were watching The middle the other 1081 00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,120 Speaker 1: day and there was this rule where one of the 1082 00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,040 Speaker 1: kids got in trouble and the kid didn't have like 1083 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:12,640 Speaker 1: an xbox or a phone or anything they could take, 1084 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,080 Speaker 1: away so they did the five feet, rule so the 1085 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,240 Speaker 1: kid had to be within five feet of a parent 1086 00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,839 Speaker 1: at all. Times at you had to be within five 1087 00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,080 Speaker 1: feet of the parent at all, Times so the dad 1088 00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:25,239 Speaker 1: had a ruler on. Him he's, like oh, see that's 1089 00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,360 Speaker 1: five feet three, inches getting. CLOSER i would have the 1090 00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:28,680 Speaker 1: five yard rule with, her. 1091 00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,359 Speaker 4: And i'd be, like, whoa where are you going stay with. 1092 00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:35,640 Speaker 1: Dinner within Five. Yeah, ANYWAY a couple of weeks go 1093 00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,920 Speaker 1: by AND i hear nothing about us booking. FLIGHTS i 1094 00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,600 Speaker 1: overhear her in different rooms on the phone to her 1095 00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,719 Speaker 1: friends talking about going To, nashville et. Cetera, EVENTUALLY i, say, 1096 00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,320 Speaker 1: hey we should book flights before it gets super, expensive 1097 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:51,000 Speaker 1: and lo and, behold she gets weirdly mad and says 1098 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,680 Speaker 1: she doesn't want me to come because it doesn't financially 1099 00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:55,360 Speaker 1: make sense for me to spend four hundred dollars on 1100 00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,960 Speaker 1: a flight when we could when we rent to. Pay 1101 00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,960 Speaker 1: it also makes no sense considering how MUCH i, make 1102 00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,479 Speaker 1: so how MUCH i. Saved we have a small argument about, 1103 00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:06,640 Speaker 1: it BUT i let it. Go we don't talk about 1104 00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,280 Speaker 1: the trip again until, yesterday when she's packing her. BAGS 1105 00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,359 Speaker 1: i was lying on the bed finishing something for work 1106 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,040 Speaker 1: on my. Laptop as she. Packed she asked WHY i 1107 00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:18,600 Speaker 1: was being. WEIRD i Said i'm trying to, concentrate WHICH i, 1108 00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:23,600 Speaker 1: was and then she gets disportionately mad and, says do 1109 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:27,360 Speaker 1: you Think i'm gonna do something with someone else In? Nashville. 1110 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,560 Speaker 1: Doy she starts saying she can't BELIEVE i think that 1111 00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,839 Speaker 1: lowly of. Her it's, disgusting et. Cetera, Meanwhile i've been 1112 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:38,680 Speaker 1: silently sitting. THERE i did not prompt, this but this 1113 00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,040 Speaker 1: looks like a red flag to. ME i tell, her 1114 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,319 Speaker 1: don't be. Silly of COURSE i don't think, that even 1115 00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:44,960 Speaker 1: though because of what she, Said i'm not. 1116 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,560 Speaker 6: Sure, Yeah she's, like, oh he's like sitting, there and it's, like, oh, 1117 00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:51,080 Speaker 6: okay you Think i'm with a cheat on? 1118 00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,680 Speaker 7: You do you Think i'm just gonna go and sleep 1119 00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,160 Speaker 7: with someone else When i'm In nashville without? 1120 00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:58,600 Speaker 4: You and that's WHY i didn't. 1121 00:54:58,360 --> 00:54:59,960 Speaker 1: Want you to. Come i'm just finishing. 1122 00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,960 Speaker 6: Thing do you think That i'm leaving for two weeks 1123 00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,760 Speaker 6: and making SURE i turn off my cell phone Because 1124 00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:08,000 Speaker 6: i'm gonna cheat on. 1125 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:12,200 Speaker 4: You with my boss in our hotel. Room that's what you. 1126 00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,319 Speaker 1: Think, NO i would never think. 1127 00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,640 Speaker 4: That of, course you think That i'm gonna send you home. 1128 00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:21,239 Speaker 6: And make sure you don't get your green card so 1129 00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:24,040 Speaker 6: THAT i can marry my boss. 1130 00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,440 Speaker 1: An evil villain explaining their plan before they do. It 1131 00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:31,239 Speaker 1: do you think did you? Think my? Gosh, ANYWAYS i 1132 00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:34,880 Speaker 1: drop her off at the. Airport this morning she goes To. 1133 00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,719 Speaker 1: Nashville all is. Well she texts me a few times 1134 00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:40,560 Speaker 1: during the. Day she's usually very responsive to me on her. 1135 00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:44,000 Speaker 1: Phone she's constantly on, it to the point where it 1136 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,840 Speaker 1: can be. Annoying she gets mad at me WHEN i 1137 00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:48,640 Speaker 1: don't respond to her fast enough, sometimes so she calls 1138 00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,240 Speaker 1: me to tell me that she's going On Broadway Party 1139 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:54,120 Speaker 1: street In. Nashville great place to, go how to blast? 1140 00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:57,680 Speaker 3: It, also, SORRY i want you to take, me, dude let's. 1141 00:55:57,760 --> 00:55:59,400 Speaker 3: Go you know your way around. 1142 00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:01,680 Speaker 1: Kind of not like super, much but it's pretty. 1143 00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:03,000 Speaker 4: Fun, Stupid i've never been. 1144 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,759 Speaker 1: With some people from her Company's New york office that 1145 00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:09,040 Speaker 1: she just. MET i, say have. Fun usually she's always 1146 00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,040 Speaker 1: texted me and updating me to let me know she's. 1147 00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:16,360 Speaker 1: Safe but, tonight, no by the, way. Night after this story's, 1148 00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,000 Speaker 1: done you can go to your favorite podcast, platform which 1149 00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:20,280 Speaker 1: those platforms could. 1150 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:24,120 Speaker 6: Be, Spotify Apple, podcasts Or, iHeartRadio and. 1151 00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:27,040 Speaker 1: You type these special eleven letters in. 1152 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,920 Speaker 4: A row, OKAY, S T O R Y, T I 1153 00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:31,640 Speaker 4: AM e. 1154 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,960 Speaker 1: Spells, okay story, time and there we will be waiting for. 1155 00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,200 Speaker 1: You how many STORIES a, LOT a. Lot i'm just 1156 00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,359 Speaker 1: gonna finish it. Out we already know what's gonna. 1157 00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:46,200 Speaker 4: Happen we already know where the right off the. CLIFF i. 1158 00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,120 Speaker 6: Know If obi doesn't get his green card by the 1159 00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:49,279 Speaker 6: end of the, Story i'm gonna be, like. 1160 00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:51,480 Speaker 4: What was the point of? 1161 00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:54,799 Speaker 1: This, YEAH i can see her location in. NIGHTCLUBS i 1162 00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:56,760 Speaker 1: text her to give me a call when she's walking 1163 00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,680 Speaker 1: home SO i know she's. SAFE i don't get a. 1164 00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,560 Speaker 1: TEXT i see her back to the. HOTEL i Mean 1165 00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:04,920 Speaker 1: i've texted and tried calling multiple times getting sent to. 1166 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,160 Speaker 1: Voicemail it's been about two to three hours since she 1167 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,440 Speaker 1: got back to the. Hotel don't no word from. Her 1168 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,160 Speaker 1: we all know what she's. Doing so, Yeah i'm here 1169 00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:15,320 Speaker 1: tapping this in the early hours of the, morning lacking. 1170 00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,480 Speaker 1: Sleep so forgive me if this post seems a bit 1171 00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,720 Speaker 1: of a, mess it absolutely does. Not i've just reached 1172 00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:21,800 Speaker 1: a breaking. Point how DO i deal with? This is 1173 00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:25,560 Speaker 1: this relationship? Salvuble N could you check real quick if 1174 00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:29,440 Speaker 1: there's an update or. Something obviously this relationship isn't. Salvagible 1175 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:31,120 Speaker 1: it hasn't been salvageable since you. 1176 00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,920 Speaker 4: Found out that she cheated on. You, yeah but you 1177 00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:37,200 Speaker 4: know what is. Salvageable you're a green? Card, yeah, dude 1178 00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,040 Speaker 4: how far away from it are? 1179 00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:39,600 Speaker 2: You you? 1180 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,360 Speaker 1: Were so you've got to be. Close you got to be. 1181 00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:44,760 Speaker 1: CLOSED i gotta be. CLOSE i feel like he'sa a 1182 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:45,320 Speaker 1: year and a half. 1183 00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,480 Speaker 4: Out he's gotta be a year and a. 1184 00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:49,200 Speaker 1: Half could you do that for your and a? Half 1185 00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,480 Speaker 1: we haven't even been in this house for a year 1186 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,720 Speaker 1: and a. Half it's a. LOT a year and a, 1187 00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:54,840 Speaker 1: half it's a. Lot we haven't even livestream for a 1188 00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,040 Speaker 1: year and a. Half that's a long. Time. 1189 00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:01,520 Speaker 3: Nothing this is the the most recent update or the, 1190 00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:05,160 Speaker 3: like the The nashville update is from like almost like 1191 00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:06,880 Speaker 3: a little bit less than a month. Ago oh, wow 1192 00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:08,280 Speaker 3: so we got things since? 1193 00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,520 Speaker 6: Then, Yeah Sam chan, says if he's only half a 1194 00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,360 Speaker 6: year IN i just. Quit, yeah it's, like, don't don't 1195 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,240 Speaker 6: do another year and a, half you, know but that's. 1196 00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:17,200 Speaker 1: Up he should have just quit. 1197 00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,200 Speaker 4: One so he, SEES i, know you should have done, 1198 00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:19,920 Speaker 4: that have done. 1199 00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:21,240 Speaker 1: That dang oh. 1200 00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:28,520 Speaker 3: Ah he's got a just grit his teeth and just bear. Down, 1201 00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:32,680 Speaker 3: yeah you've made it this. Far if it was like the, beginning, 1202 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:35,720 Speaker 3: sure but if you made it this, far get your green, 1203 00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:39,439 Speaker 3: card whatever it. Takes, hey, y'all It's john Og host. 1204 00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:41,000 Speaker 3: Here we're gonna get back to the. Stories but here's 1205 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,400 Speaker 3: a quick three minute break from as for more. 1206 00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:48,160 Speaker 2: SPONSORS i was ghosted by my, crush but now he's haunting. 1207 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:52,840 Speaker 7: Me whoa just like a ghost does best, Right he's 1208 00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:53,400 Speaker 7: a perfect. 1209 00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:57,160 Speaker 2: GHOST i twenty seven, female recently found out that my 1210 00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:02,000 Speaker 2: boyfriend male thirty Two mark is friends with my online 1211 00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:05,680 Speaker 2: Friend Jeff mail thirty. ONE i have A facebook account 1212 00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,240 Speaker 2: WHICH i just use for memes and tagged my friends 1213 00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:11,479 Speaker 2: and family. In, YES i still use. It over, TIME 1214 00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:14,720 Speaker 2: i began to add people and accept friend requests from other, 1215 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,320 Speaker 2: people some WHO i don't even. Know and by the, 1216 00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:20,320 Speaker 2: way this comes from user entire scheme six' one twenty 1217 00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,640 Speaker 2: from the R, Slash ok storytime subreddit and if you 1218 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:27,560 Speaker 2: want to submit, your stories go submit. Them There, WHO 1219 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:31,560 Speaker 2: so i don't accept everyone's REQUESTS as i sometimes don't. 1220 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,720 Speaker 2: CHECK them i still have requests from People dating gecko. 1221 00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:38,240 Speaker 2: Back years don't accept everyone and as, some people, mostly 1222 00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,960 Speaker 2: guys like to message ME and i don't. REPLY back 1223 00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,560 Speaker 2: i don't even KNOW when I had jeff send me. 1224 00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,160 Speaker 2: A request, but ANYWAY since i Don't, HAVE messenger i 1225 00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,720 Speaker 2: don't receive pop ups like, other APPS so i have 1226 00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,960 Speaker 2: to go in the message tab to check who sent me. 1227 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:54,760 Speaker 2: The messages about, Last year jeff sent me. A MESSAGE 1228 00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,000 Speaker 2: since i don't have those pop, UP notifications i didn't 1229 00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:59,520 Speaker 2: know that he had. Sent one he sent One, in 1230 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:02,800 Speaker 2: JANUARY which i, didn't see and one Again, in february 1231 01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:05,760 Speaker 2: WHICH again i did. NOT see i only saw the 1232 01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:09,240 Speaker 2: message he Sent. In march, AT first i was going 1233 01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:11,080 Speaker 2: to tell HIM that i have a boyfriend and don't 1234 01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:14,160 Speaker 2: talk to guys because my boyfriend didn't, like THAT which 1235 01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:16,560 Speaker 2: i didn't even have one, back THEN but i decided 1236 01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:20,200 Speaker 2: to continue the conversation to. Be nice we exchanged numbers 1237 01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,920 Speaker 2: and we started Talking. ON WhatsApp i didn't Know that 1238 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,439 Speaker 2: JEFF and i would get along. So well before long 1239 01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,560 Speaker 2: we were talking daily and phoning each. Other daily he 1240 01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,240 Speaker 2: lived about thirty minutes away from me in. Another city 1241 01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:35,120 Speaker 2: JEFF and i really got along and it felt nice, 1242 01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:39,680 Speaker 2: for once since MOST guys i dated. Were ummies it felt. 1243 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:43,720 Speaker 2: VERY refreshing I liked jeff and we planned on, meeting 1244 01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,960 Speaker 2: UP but i chickened out because of. My insecurities it 1245 01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:50,720 Speaker 2: do be like that. Though, SOMETIMES yeah i was a 1246 01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:53,440 Speaker 2: bit overweight and needed to lose, some WEIGHT but i 1247 01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:57,760 Speaker 2: was lazy and. EXERCISING thinks i started jimming, last YEAR 1248 01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:01,080 Speaker 2: but i, wasn't consistent so no. Results yet JEFF and 1249 01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,760 Speaker 2: i talked for about, three MONTHS and i get you 1250 01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:05,480 Speaker 2: can get bored talking to someone and you need to 1251 01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:07,840 Speaker 2: put a face to. Their voice although we do know 1252 01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:10,640 Speaker 2: what each other. Looked like jeff was a dork like 1253 01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,880 Speaker 2: me and. Very FUNNY like, I said i liked. The 1254 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:19,680 Speaker 2: guy but then. Something happened jeff, Stopped replying oh what's? 1255 01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:20,840 Speaker 1: Going, On eh. 1256 01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:24,560 Speaker 2: Jeff's pulling A Little danny phantom. On. You oOoOO this 1257 01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,760 Speaker 2: is a major turn off, To ME but i know 1258 01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:29,720 Speaker 2: that life can. Get hectic but these days turned, into 1259 01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,400 Speaker 2: weeks and he would send a message once a week 1260 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:35,880 Speaker 2: or reply To my. WhatsApp status this SUCKED because i 1261 01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:38,480 Speaker 2: really thought he liked. Me TOO so i was ghosted 1262 01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:41,640 Speaker 2: apparently with. No reason it felt weird and maybe he 1263 01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,000 Speaker 2: got a girlfriend. OR something i. Don't know then a 1264 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,560 Speaker 2: couple of months of only communicating once a week, OR 1265 01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:49,600 Speaker 2: so I decided i wasn't gonna reply to any messages that. 1266 01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:53,000 Speaker 2: He said the infatuation simmered AWAY and i didn't care 1267 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,480 Speaker 2: that he wouldn't send a reply to my. Messages anymore 1268 01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:57,600 Speaker 2: when he sent, A message i didn't even. OPEN it 1269 01:01:57,760 --> 01:01:59,280 Speaker 2: i just deleted it. 1270 01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:02,560 Speaker 4: For you, OH yeah i do Sometimes. 1271 01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:08,280 Speaker 2: Deleted honestly that is my number. One, ick SINCE like, 1272 01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:11,200 Speaker 2: I said i struggle, With insecurities thoughts of him making 1273 01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,360 Speaker 2: fun of me or laughing about me went through, my 1274 01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:16,200 Speaker 2: MIND though i don't make it known or other people's 1275 01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:19,560 Speaker 2: problems but. My own jeff did send three more messages, 1276 01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:21,720 Speaker 2: after THAT but i never. Opened them it was all 1277 01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,520 Speaker 2: just replies to. MY statuses i started to focus. ON 1278 01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:27,080 Speaker 2: myself i went to the gym regularly and started having. 1279 01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:29,560 Speaker 2: HEALTHIER habits i got my life. In ORDER since i 1280 01:02:29,640 --> 01:02:32,760 Speaker 2: was a procrastinator and. Very disorganized this Was My new, 1281 01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,600 Speaker 2: year's resolution and the results have. BEEN amazing i started 1282 01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:39,160 Speaker 2: feeling amazing for myself and my life. SEEMED better i was, 1283 01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:41,720 Speaker 2: depressed before but. No longer in the new year of twenty, 1284 01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:45,800 Speaker 2: Twenty four mark followed Me on INSTAGRAM and i followed. 1285 01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:48,000 Speaker 2: HIM back i don't have a lot, of FOLLOWERS but 1286 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:50,560 Speaker 2: i saw that he FOLLOWS people i know personally and 1287 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,040 Speaker 2: they follow him. As well he sent ME a dm 1288 01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,800 Speaker 2: and we continued. To talk he also happened to be 1289 01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:57,840 Speaker 2: living in the next town and asked me out on, 1290 01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,000 Speaker 2: a date which went amazing and we had a. Great 1291 01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:02,840 Speaker 2: time we started seeing each other, more regularly mostly on 1292 01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:05,520 Speaker 2: weekends because we both work nine, to five and between 1293 01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,680 Speaker 2: work and the gym and my part time work in, 1294 01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:10,760 Speaker 2: THE evening i was tired on weekdays. At work life 1295 01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:15,040 Speaker 2: balance do be hard to, come, by absolutely BUT weekends i. 1296 01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,400 Speaker 2: Was free he met my FAMILY and i, met his 1297 01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,920 Speaker 2: and then he asked me to be, his GIRLFRIEND and, i, 1298 01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,960 Speaker 2: said yes, my boy you won't be, my fee. My 1299 01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:28,320 Speaker 2: goyfee so he met my FRIENDS and i hadn't met 1300 01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:31,200 Speaker 2: his YET because i was busy the times that they 1301 01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:34,640 Speaker 2: weren't and they, also work which. Is good we should all, be, Working, right, 1302 01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:38,040 Speaker 2: yeah eh we all need to work to earn. Our, 1303 01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,680 Speaker 2: Place no i'm, Just. Kidding okay mark decided to have 1304 01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:43,400 Speaker 2: a gathering at his Place, last SATURDAY and i took my. 1305 01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:46,560 Speaker 2: Friend along she Knows, about JEFF but i never showed her, 1306 01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:48,920 Speaker 2: a photo and at, the gathering he said that his 1307 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:51,080 Speaker 2: friend was. Running LATE then i went to the bathroom for. 1308 01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:53,000 Speaker 2: A WHILE when i was, IN there i heard some 1309 01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:55,320 Speaker 2: commotion and knew that someone had come in through the. 1310 01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,840 Speaker 2: FRONT door i was in the bathroom near the, front 1311 01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:00,160 Speaker 2: door AND when i, came out because he was, WALKING 1312 01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:02,800 Speaker 2: in i knew it. Was him we, haven't MET but 1313 01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:05,520 Speaker 2: i saw pictures. OF him i was stunned and could. 1314 01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:08,520 Speaker 2: NOT move i ran back into the bathroom in distress 1315 01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:11,040 Speaker 2: and called my friend on my phone in the bathroom 1316 01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:13,240 Speaker 2: to come. In there as she, came IN and i 1317 01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:16,120 Speaker 2: told her that It. Was jeff oh, my god It. 1318 01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:21,080 Speaker 2: Was Jeff of jeff. Out. THERE oh i didn't know what. To, 1319 01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:23,640 Speaker 2: do honestly he KNEW what i, looked like AND although 1320 01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:25,920 Speaker 2: i had lost weight and, LOOKED different i still posted 1321 01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:28,040 Speaker 2: pics OF what i look. Like now so then my 1322 01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:30,880 Speaker 2: insecurity started to. CREEP in i was suspicious of. My, 1323 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:34,040 Speaker 2: BOYFRIEND honestly i started to think that they were pranking 1324 01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:37,439 Speaker 2: me or. Using me was this? A coincidence i. THINK 1325 01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,040 Speaker 2: not i felt like throwing up thinking that they would 1326 01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:42,560 Speaker 2: be using me and seeing who can sleep with her 1327 01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:44,880 Speaker 2: first or. Meet her and That's why mark followed Me 1328 01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:49,800 Speaker 2: on instagram and, messaged me, oh girl was whoa pump? 1329 01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:51,840 Speaker 2: Those brakes irelan? 1330 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,160 Speaker 4: Over, here man you. 1331 01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:56,360 Speaker 2: Were okay, all, right okay wonder something had to. Have 1332 01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:58,440 Speaker 2: happened i'm sorry for whatever it was that has given, 1333 01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,560 Speaker 2: you this, you know the fear that put the fear. 1334 01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:02,640 Speaker 2: In you, but yeah you know. It's understandable i'm sure in. 1335 01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:05,200 Speaker 2: Some way, but sure there's not really much that you 1336 01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,400 Speaker 2: need to. DO here, i mean it's it would be a. Crazy, 1337 01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:10,680 Speaker 2: Coincidence yeah JEFF'S like i talked to YOU and i 1338 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,080 Speaker 2: used dap dogging him and he stopped talking to you 1339 01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:15,520 Speaker 2: pretty much. As, well yeah so it's like the stop 1340 01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,040 Speaker 2: right he started. The pullback he started to. Pull, back 1341 01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:20,240 Speaker 2: yeah you also. PULLED back i, don't know there's. 1342 01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:22,280 Speaker 4: If it was, a contest he wouldn't. 1343 01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,240 Speaker 2: Have done that. Everything, else yeah if it was, a, 1344 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:25,880 Speaker 2: contest exactly. 1345 01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,640 Speaker 4: It would Be like i've never seen, the movie but 1346 01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:29,680 Speaker 4: TEN things i hate, About you i'm assuming they. 1347 01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:32,919 Speaker 2: Might right we stayed in the bathroom for ten more 1348 01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:35,400 Speaker 2: Minutes and mark sent me. A message by, THAT time 1349 01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,400 Speaker 2: i had already been in the bathroom for like, fifteen 1350 01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,600 Speaker 2: minutes and the only THING that i could think of 1351 01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:43,120 Speaker 2: to do was to Update my WhatsApp status with A 1352 01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:46,120 Speaker 2: video i. Took earlier it was in the Backyard of, 1353 01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:48,640 Speaker 2: mark's HOUSE and i Knew that jeff would recognize it 1354 01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:50,880 Speaker 2: as we were all. Chilling there, BEFORE long i Saw 1355 01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:52,880 Speaker 2: that jeff sent me a message asking ME where. I 1356 01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:55,360 Speaker 2: am i didn't reply and just went out to. The 1357 01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:57,960 Speaker 2: backyard when my FRIEND and, I return mark came up, 1358 01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:00,200 Speaker 2: to me grabbed me by, my arm and Introduced. TO 1359 01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:03,800 Speaker 2: jeff i ACTED like i didn't, know him smiled and. 1360 01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:07,600 Speaker 2: Said hello he. Looks stunned throughout, The evening jeff was 1361 01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:11,080 Speaker 2: looking at me and trying to start, a CONVERSATION and i, 1362 01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,880 Speaker 2: ignored him but subtly so that no one knows. 1363 01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:14,800 Speaker 4: BUT me i, don't. 1364 01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,840 Speaker 2: KNOW girl i think maybe the twenty five minutes in 1365 01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:20,120 Speaker 2: the bathroom were fifteen to twenty minutes in the bathroom 1366 01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:23,520 Speaker 2: could have given. IT away a, little, right, no, No, 1367 01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:26,840 Speaker 2: Perhaps yeah like she's. 1368 01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:29,160 Speaker 4: In here, thinking, Like okay i'm gonna like. Trick them 1369 01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,200 Speaker 4: i'm gonna Say that i'm like into. The, backyard Yeah 1370 01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:32,560 Speaker 4: put i'm actually, in here And then i'm just gonna 1371 01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:34,959 Speaker 4: gou in the backyard. Super chill and they're like seeing 1372 01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:37,600 Speaker 4: this whole, thing happen and, they're LIKE so i saw 1373 01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:40,840 Speaker 4: you go into. The bath they're fifteen minutes ago post, 1374 01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,200 Speaker 4: this thing and then just like walk out and like 1375 01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:46,600 Speaker 4: now you're actively, you know like it's like like, It's, 1376 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:48,439 Speaker 4: okay yeah this. 1377 01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:51,000 Speaker 2: Is, Fine yeah, It's like jeff is a guy you 1378 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:53,640 Speaker 2: talked to months and. Months ago now you're with this 1379 01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:56,040 Speaker 2: guy you just met, his parents like and so he's 1380 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,880 Speaker 2: freeze Friends. With jeff it'll, be like oh, my god 1381 01:06:57,920 --> 01:06:59,880 Speaker 2: you won't. BELIEVE it i was talking. TO him i 1382 01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:01,880 Speaker 2: talked to him for a, little bit and then he. 1383 01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:05,439 Speaker 2: Ghosted me so nobody knows. BUT me i didn't enjoy 1384 01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:07,680 Speaker 2: my EVENING and i just wanted to. GO home i 1385 01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:10,080 Speaker 2: was originally supposed to, sleep OVER but i couldn't bear 1386 01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:12,919 Speaker 2: to be in my. BOYFRIEND'S presence i wanted to leave 1387 01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:15,600 Speaker 2: as QUICKLY as. I could mark could see this caught 1388 01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,680 Speaker 2: on to it later in. The EVENING when, I left 1389 01:07:17,760 --> 01:07:20,160 Speaker 2: i didn't say goodbye to his other friends and went 1390 01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,479 Speaker 2: home with. My friend the ride home was quiet because 1391 01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:26,240 Speaker 2: my thoughts were. Running WILD when i got home at around, 1392 01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,480 Speaker 2: Eight pm mark sent me a message asking Me if, 1393 01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:30,480 Speaker 2: i'm HOME and i. Didn't reply the, next day he 1394 01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:33,040 Speaker 2: sent another message, and PHONED but i didn't reply and. 1395 01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:35,560 Speaker 2: NEVER answered i didn't put my phone OFF because i 1396 01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:38,600 Speaker 2: need to use my. PHONE now i have not Talked 1397 01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:41,680 Speaker 2: to mark as, of Yet and jeff sent me. Another 1398 01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:43,680 Speaker 2: message it's been a couple of days And now i'm 1399 01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:47,520 Speaker 2: sitting here thinking of breaking Up with mark and. Blocking 1400 01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:51,360 Speaker 2: HIM but i don't know what. TO do i feel 1401 01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:55,160 Speaker 2: like my life is spiraling out. Of control and there 1402 01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:58,040 Speaker 2: is an. Edit here JEFF and i may not have, 1403 01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:02,360 Speaker 2: met up but we did send some SPASHY text i 1404 01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:05,000 Speaker 2: was being a human one DAY and i told him 1405 01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:09,520 Speaker 2: EVERYTHING that i wanted to do a vice VERSA and 1406 01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:11,440 Speaker 2: i don't, do that but it, felt nice and the 1407 01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:15,160 Speaker 2: anticipation of meeting up FUELED that i initiated, it all 1408 01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,080 Speaker 2: but he was. INTO it i felt Awkward seeing jeff 1409 01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,720 Speaker 2: and thinking that he knows so much. About me and what. 1410 01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:23,519 Speaker 2: We discussed it almost felt like meeting your ex who's 1411 01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:27,040 Speaker 2: friends with. Your boyfriend we didn't. Exchange PICTURES should I 1412 01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:28,400 Speaker 2: tell mark or just break? 1413 01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:30,559 Speaker 4: It off what you want to break Up with mark 1414 01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:33,400 Speaker 4: just because you talked to? His friend so of course 1415 01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:33,800 Speaker 4: you Should. 1416 01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:37,600 Speaker 2: Tell, mark yeah of course you should Talk to mark and, be, 1417 01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:42,040 Speaker 2: like hey so. Weird, thing yeah Me And jeff eerowski 1418 01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,400 Speaker 2: over there and we were a little bit. 1419 01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:44,519 Speaker 3: Of. 1420 01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:47,200 Speaker 4: History right if you make it a, big deal it's 1421 01:08:47,240 --> 01:08:49,360 Speaker 4: gonna be a. Big deal but if you bring, it up, just, 1422 01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:52,880 Speaker 4: like hey by, the way, so weird, So random i'd 1423 01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:55,479 Speaker 4: like Talked to JEFF like i did actually. MEET him 1424 01:08:55,479 --> 01:08:57,280 Speaker 4: i just didn't know how to react in. That situation, 1425 01:08:57,520 --> 01:09:01,040 Speaker 4: we talked, nothing, Happened right you can ask him. About 1426 01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:02,160 Speaker 4: it he'll say. Nothing out. 1427 01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:07,440 Speaker 2: I'm honest we've sent some. Spicy messages we exchanged colorful 1428 01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:12,400 Speaker 2: words right. Through text never even. Made up, but, LIKE 1429 01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:14,760 Speaker 2: yeah i think we Need the really the root, of, 1430 01:09:14,800 --> 01:09:18,760 Speaker 2: this though is addressing like where these thoughts and feelings are. 1431 01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:22,280 Speaker 2: Coming from here's. The update it is the following week after, 1432 01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,639 Speaker 2: the GATHERING and i haven't Spoke to mark in. THREE 1433 01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:28,479 Speaker 2: days i got back to work and was swamped for 1434 01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,080 Speaker 2: a couple, of days AND like i said in, MY 1435 01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:32,320 Speaker 2: post i work a nine, to Five so i'm always 1436 01:09:32,360 --> 01:09:34,720 Speaker 2: TIRED once i. GET home i don't Usually see mark 1437 01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:37,840 Speaker 2: during the Week because i'm mostly tired, and lazy AND 1438 01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:40,599 Speaker 2: once i get home and my head hits, The bed, 1439 01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:44,200 Speaker 2: i'm OUT like, i like but we usually talk a 1440 01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:47,040 Speaker 2: lot on. The Phone, BY wednesday i was feeling BAD 1441 01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:48,640 Speaker 2: that i hadn't, replied BACK so i sent him a 1442 01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:51,080 Speaker 2: message to, meet up and we met at a CAFE 1443 01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:53,080 Speaker 2: because i was scared if we met at his PLACE 1444 01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:56,360 Speaker 2: that i would be booted out if the meeting. Turned 1445 01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,960 Speaker 2: sour he couldn't meet at my PLACE because i live 1446 01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,160 Speaker 2: with my family AND we i wouldn't have. ANY privacy 1447 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:03,760 Speaker 2: I told Mark about jeff AND that i knew him 1448 01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:07,760 Speaker 2: kind of and how we, were friends and about, our conversations. 1449 01:10:07,880 --> 01:10:10,320 Speaker 2: ET cetera i also told HIM that i kind of 1450 01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:12,439 Speaker 2: liked him but he had, ghosted me told him ABOUT 1451 01:10:12,439 --> 01:10:14,640 Speaker 2: how i felt and how we were planning on meeting up. 1452 01:10:14,640 --> 01:10:16,800 Speaker 2: AND such i also told him That seeing jeff for 1453 01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:19,040 Speaker 2: the first time and finding out that they were friends 1454 01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:22,760 Speaker 2: really threw me for. A loop i basically told HIM how, 1455 01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:24,599 Speaker 2: i felt AND how i thought that maybe they were 1456 01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,519 Speaker 2: pranking me. And such mark was basically quiet the, whole 1457 01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:31,040 Speaker 2: TIME which i. Appreciate it he's a great listener and 1458 01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:34,040 Speaker 2: would usually just intervene. When needed it's nice to have 1459 01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:37,559 Speaker 2: someone to talk to. Without interruptions he asked me if 1460 01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:40,360 Speaker 2: there was something going On between jeff and me at, 1461 01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:43,000 Speaker 2: this MOMENT and, i, said no there. You go he 1462 01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:46,000 Speaker 2: also told Me that jeff hasn't spoken to. Him either 1463 01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:48,760 Speaker 2: he felt hurt as WELL since i. Was ignoring then 1464 01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:50,280 Speaker 2: he told me that he didn't think he could be 1465 01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:53,120 Speaker 2: with someone who, runs AWAY which i usually do when 1466 01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:55,559 Speaker 2: stuff hits, the FAN and i was ready for him to. 1467 01:10:55,640 --> 01:10:58,080 Speaker 2: Leave me and in, THAT moment i felt THINK that 1468 01:10:58,240 --> 01:10:59,840 Speaker 2: i wanted to break up with him in the, first 1469 01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:02,439 Speaker 2: PLACE and i was scared of. LOSING him i, felt 1470 01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:05,360 Speaker 2: DUMB but i was ready for. THE consequences i also 1471 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:07,439 Speaker 2: didn't want to get in between his Friendship. With jeff 1472 01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:09,479 Speaker 2: but when he took hold of my hand in, that 1473 01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:11,479 Speaker 2: MOMENT all i felt, Was love. 1474 01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:15,280 Speaker 4: This, Is beautiful oh. My gosh and then they get 1475 01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:17,679 Speaker 4: married and then like a two thousand song starts playing 1476 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:18,880 Speaker 4: yeah something. 1477 01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:22,080 Speaker 2: Something Like, Avril, levine, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah 1478 01:11:22,400 --> 01:11:25,200 Speaker 2: he said that he never KNEW that I knew jeff, 1479 01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:28,479 Speaker 2: like that and that we would work. Through whatever he 1480 01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:31,479 Speaker 2: still called me out because of, my actions AND now 1481 01:11:31,479 --> 01:11:32,880 Speaker 2: i have to make it up to him by baking. 1482 01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:36,120 Speaker 2: Him cupcakes this. Perfect look so it's we're being. Held, 1483 01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:38,920 Speaker 2: accountable yeah we're taking things on as. A. 1484 01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:40,160 Speaker 4: TEAM yeah i. 1485 01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:42,360 Speaker 2: Like that he's not, just like you're perfectly fine and did, 1486 01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:44,599 Speaker 2: nothing wrong because, IT'S like, i mean was a little 1487 01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:48,360 Speaker 2: questionable chain of from. His, perspective certainly like what the 1488 01:11:48,360 --> 01:11:51,040 Speaker 2: heck's going on from your, PERSPECTIVE Though p, it's, like 1489 01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:52,439 Speaker 2: yeah got all this stuff going on in? Your head 1490 01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:54,639 Speaker 2: It secure, you're LIKE am i being set? Up, something 1491 01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:57,720 Speaker 2: clearly something happened in the past that we's neither here, 1492 01:11:57,760 --> 01:11:59,600 Speaker 2: Nor there but this is right where we want. To 1493 01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:04,120 Speaker 2: be look what happens when we have clear. Communication exactly 1494 01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:07,040 Speaker 2: he's also the one that encouraged me to Speak to 1495 01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:10,000 Speaker 2: jeff and told me to work out whatever issue there is. 1496 01:12:10,120 --> 01:12:12,240 Speaker 2: Between Us so MARK and i are fine at the. 1497 01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:15,920 Speaker 2: Moment now jeff was. Something else the, FOLLOWING day I 1498 01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:18,960 Speaker 2: sent jeff, A message i asked him about, his day. 1499 01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:21,439 Speaker 2: Et cetera then he called me UP and. I answered 1500 01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:23,519 Speaker 2: he ASKED if i was really going Out, with MARK 1501 01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:26,200 Speaker 2: and i. Said yes he asked Me if mark was 1502 01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:29,040 Speaker 2: the REASON that i wasn't responding to, his MESSAGES and 1503 01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:32,439 Speaker 2: i told him that he was. The reason He, being 1504 01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:36,360 Speaker 2: jeff he wasn't replying to my messages and, ignoring ME 1505 01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,840 Speaker 2: and i also told him that he made me feel 1506 01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:42,000 Speaker 2: INSIGNIFICANT after i basically bared myself, to HIM and i 1507 01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:44,280 Speaker 2: FELT that i didn't need people in my life who don't, 1508 01:12:44,320 --> 01:12:47,880 Speaker 2: reciprocate feelings Even after i've been trying to. Establish communication 1509 01:12:48,040 --> 01:12:51,439 Speaker 2: then he told me. The, truth oh he didn't reply 1510 01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:54,720 Speaker 2: to my messages because he liked me and didn't want 1511 01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,320 Speaker 2: to get attached because he was hurt in. The past 1512 01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,400 Speaker 2: he thought that if he, didn't reply then he wouldn't 1513 01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:03,160 Speaker 2: feel anything for. Me anymore BUT when i didn't respond to, 1514 01:13:03,240 --> 01:13:06,000 Speaker 2: HIS messages i was hurt and, FOR clarity i would 1515 01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:08,240 Speaker 2: send messages and he would only read them but reply to. 1516 01:13:08,280 --> 01:13:10,920 Speaker 2: My STATUSES when i sent messages after, his reply he 1517 01:13:10,920 --> 01:13:12,960 Speaker 2: would only. Read them the. Next week he would reply 1518 01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:15,280 Speaker 2: to my status no reply afterward than the same week 1519 01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:17,080 Speaker 2: or two weeks there after the. SAME thing i sent 1520 01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:19,760 Speaker 2: a response afterward with. No reply he also told me 1521 01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:21,720 Speaker 2: that seeing me with his friend hurt him and he 1522 01:13:21,720 --> 01:13:25,120 Speaker 2: would rather distance himself because he can't see me being with. 1523 01:13:25,479 --> 01:13:27,840 Speaker 2: His friend he said that it was supposed to, be 1524 01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:30,200 Speaker 2: him which is low key a pretty wild thing to 1525 01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:33,360 Speaker 2: say about someone you, never met not gonna lie they'd never. Met, 1526 01:13:33,439 --> 01:13:36,959 Speaker 2: up yeah you only texted. ME personally i don't feel anything, 1527 01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:38,960 Speaker 2: for HIM so i don't KNOW where. I stood i 1528 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:40,920 Speaker 2: don't know if he's going to continue to Talk to 1529 01:13:40,960 --> 01:13:42,479 Speaker 2: MARK and I and i don't want to come between. 1530 01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:45,360 Speaker 2: Their friendship that was the gist of. Our CONVERSATION so 1531 01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:47,080 Speaker 2: i don't KNOW where i Stand with jeff and if 1532 01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:48,800 Speaker 2: he's going to Talk to mark. And me but by, 1533 01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:51,639 Speaker 2: the way you can listen and you could talk, as 1534 01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:54,200 Speaker 2: well but we can't. Hear you two full episodes with 1535 01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:58,080 Speaker 2: stories like This on Spotify and iHeartRadio and. Apple podcasts 1536 01:13:58,080 --> 01:14:01,679 Speaker 2: wherever you listen, to podcasts Just search Okay, story time 1537 01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:06,120 Speaker 2: and there you will find just a beautiful mountain spring 1538 01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:11,679 Speaker 2: flowing with stories and good vibes, and crazy. Juicy drama 1539 01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:13,760 Speaker 2: the only person in the STORY that i feel may 1540 01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:14,719 Speaker 2: not need Therapy. 1541 01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:18,320 Speaker 4: Is mark mark is just like in the middle of. 1542 01:14:18,360 --> 01:14:21,599 Speaker 2: All, This yeah mark's like pretty like took. That well, he's, 1543 01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:24,280 Speaker 2: LIKE hey i don't like the way that you kind 1544 01:14:24,280 --> 01:14:26,519 Speaker 2: of like disappeared and didn't talk to me for. Three, 1545 01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:29,240 Speaker 2: days however now that, YOU'VE explained i. Get it that. 1546 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:32,720 Speaker 2: Was weird you will work. THROUGH this i Don't like 1547 01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:36,000 Speaker 2: jeff BEING like i can't sue Being with mark because 1548 01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:38,120 Speaker 2: it should have. Been me it's like kind of, like 1549 01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:41,880 Speaker 2: possessive a, little ownership be a little like get. 1550 01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:43,599 Speaker 4: Over, It sorry it's like an. 1551 01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:47,880 Speaker 2: Idealization of like, the situation and Clearly like jeff's got 1552 01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:51,840 Speaker 2: to work through that in, some Way and opete Sort 1553 01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:53,519 Speaker 2: of i'm just gonna cut him off and not talk, 1554 01:14:53,560 --> 01:14:55,559 Speaker 2: to him Or like i'm gonna. Pull off are they 1555 01:14:55,560 --> 01:14:57,880 Speaker 2: making fun? Of me, like yeah which is not necessarily like, 1556 01:14:57,920 --> 01:15:00,240 Speaker 2: you know coming from a place, of nothing but you 1557 01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:02,360 Speaker 2: can't let that get in. The, way okay so let's 1558 01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:06,000 Speaker 2: finish this. Story off thank you everyone for. YOUR responses 1559 01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:08,360 Speaker 2: i appreciated it when people told me to bite the 1560 01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:10,800 Speaker 2: bullet and Just confront Mark. And jeff if not for, 1561 01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:13,360 Speaker 2: YOUR responses i wouldn't have done that and would have 1562 01:15:13,439 --> 01:15:16,160 Speaker 2: rather blocked. Both guys I'M glad i put This. ON 1563 01:15:16,200 --> 01:15:18,160 Speaker 2: reddit i didn't want to bother my friends with my 1564 01:15:18,280 --> 01:15:20,760 Speaker 2: issues because they would have constantly asked me about, the 1565 01:15:20,800 --> 01:15:23,639 Speaker 2: situation and the less, they know. The better my FRIEND 1566 01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:26,280 Speaker 2: whom i told also just told me to talk to, 1567 01:15:26,320 --> 01:15:29,320 Speaker 2: the guys but she's, also BUSY so i haven't met 1568 01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:31,200 Speaker 2: up with her, this week and that is the end of. 1569 01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:31,679 Speaker 2: That story