Speaker 1: Scott You ready, Oh, I'm ready, laugh and laughing.
Speaker 2: Low Man arrested, great start, more than one thousand home intrusions, says,
Speaker 2: but it's his hobby.
Speaker 3: Well, hobbies are so important these days, more than ever.
Speaker 3: So before I cast the stone of judgment, I'm just
Speaker 3: gonna sit back, relax, and listen to our theme song
Speaker 3: on bananas.
Speaker 4: All the way around the world that doesn't thank you?
Speaker 4: Got this streaby driving me, Babya's Baby Bananada driving we pas, baby.
Speaker 2: Guys, gowns, non binary pals. Welcome to Bananas. I'm Kurt
Speaker 2: Brown Older.
Speaker 3: I'm Banana Boy number two Scotty Landis. Thank you for
Speaker 3: listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was. Everyone's
Speaker 3: welcome here. We're glad to have you, and tell your
Speaker 3: friends about us. We'd love to get some new ban animals.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? That would be so sweet. Tell
Speaker 2: him that we have a nice holiday version of our
Speaker 2: theme song that we play in December, and tell him
Speaker 2: that's the kind of attention to detail you you could
Speaker 2: come to expect from this very educational podcast.
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, we teach people so much about so many things,
Speaker 3: it's hard to even explain it. So I rarely do,
Speaker 3: so you were just in Dender I've had.
Speaker 2: The last seven days have been the most looney tuned in,
Speaker 2: like I think all year.
Speaker 1: All.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like I did after midnight on Monday.
Speaker 2: Then we had two episodes to record On Wednesday. I
Speaker 2: can't even remember. Wednesday, I had like second to last
Speaker 2: hot tub and two auditions and uh and had to
Speaker 2: go in and do a dance rehearsal for this piece
Speaker 2: that this sketch idear Kimmel. On Thursday, Oh, thanks man.
Speaker 2: And then Thursday all day was shooting that and then
Speaker 2: going to like out with the kids for like the
Speaker 2: holiday light light ceremony. And then Friday, woke up, got
Speaker 2: the kids to school, cleaned the house, packed, left, got
Speaker 2: picked up the kids at noon, flew to San Francisco
Speaker 2: for a memorial for Lauren's uncle.
Speaker 1: Okay, went to.
Speaker 2: That on Saturday and then flew back Saturday evening, landed,
Speaker 2: put the kids to bed, then went to a party
Speaker 2: like a work party.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was.
Speaker 2: We were there until like two in the morning, then
Speaker 2: came home, then woke up, then flew to Denver, then
Speaker 2: did a show in Denver on Sunday night with Kumale
Speaker 2: and then just got home yesterday at like four pm.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, well that's a good week.
Speaker 3: See, people are always like, oh, I'm so busy, I
Speaker 3: couldn't get to so I didn't text you back. I'm
Speaker 3: so busy, ladies and germs, that's what busy sounds like. Well,
Speaker 3: because Kurt, you also have to be on for a
Speaker 3: lot of these things. It's not just showing up anybody could.
Speaker 3: I mean maybe at the memorial, I bet you didn't
Speaker 3: do fifteen minutes, but maybe you did.
Speaker 2: But that's like socially being on, do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? It's not like it's not my direct family,
Speaker 2: you know, so I I'm still like on my best
Speaker 2: absolute behavior.
Speaker 3: Right, you have to be like, this is I am father,
Speaker 3: this is mother. Here are our children. We are dressed
Speaker 3: appropriately for this.
Speaker 2: Let me remember key details about your life and ask
Speaker 2: you questions about them.
Speaker 4: Mmmm.
Speaker 3: Well I also saw you on After Midnight with Memory
Speaker 3: so funny you two were the finalists.
Speaker 1: It was really great to see you both there.
Speaker 3: And you know, I hadn't watched in a probably like
Speaker 3: a month, and the format has changed so much now
Speaker 3: that show is a true variety show.
Speaker 2: It's really fun and also there's so many improvised parts
Speaker 2: now because it used to be you know, it was
Speaker 2: a half hour show before when it was on, and
Speaker 2: it was just you know, just you know, pre written joke,
Speaker 2: pre written joke, and now this is so much looser
Speaker 2: and what's crazy. Taylor has really done a good job
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: She has.
Speaker 3: And to the many, many ban animals who have suggested
Speaker 3: we have Taylor Tomlinson on bananas as a guest, we
Speaker 3: have a few times and she was a very good
Speaker 3: guest both times. You know, we'll have her again. You
Speaker 3: can suggest anybody you want to have on bananas, and
Speaker 3: within reason, we will. But just sometimes, you know, consider
Speaker 3: maybe we already have.
Speaker 1: I would.
Speaker 2: I still like to shout out everyone who has sent
Speaker 2: this like meme from I don't know how many years
Speaker 2: ago where someone just said they were at a bar
Speaker 2: once and they heard people chanting potassium and they came
Speaker 2: into a room and it was like one hundred people
Speaker 2: dressed as a banana. The amount of times I don't
Speaker 2: know why, it just like maybe it got reposted on
Speaker 2: some very popular meme site, but the amount of the
Speaker 2: just this week that people have sent that in that's
Speaker 2: been being sent to us for four straight years, almost
Speaker 2: every day, and so realize we do know about it.
Speaker 2: And if you want to send us strange news to yeah,
Speaker 2: strange news, you don't need to dm us banana related things.
Speaker 2: If you want to post banana related things in your
Speaker 2: store and tag us will repost you, that's fun, okay.
Speaker 2: But if you just send us banana related things, just
Speaker 2: realize all the banana related things in the entire universe,
Speaker 2: we've seen all of them. So just keep that admired.
Speaker 2: We appreciate your love, and we appreciate you thinking about us,
Speaker 2: but just realize that posted in your stories, you don't
Speaker 2: have to message us.
Speaker 3: Very good, that seems that seems fair and balanced to me.
Speaker 3: That seems like the right way to do it. Are
Speaker 3: the stockings hung? Is your tree decorated? Is it full swing?
Speaker 1: Holiday at the brown Olers.
Speaker 2: You know, we got really into it right after Thanksgiving,
Speaker 2: so got pretty much got the tree up, got it decorated,
Speaker 2: got the stockings up. I have not had a chance
Speaker 2: to do my outside lights yet because of the insanity
Speaker 2: of last week. But this week is still pretty crazy.
Speaker 2: I mean, tomorrow is the twentieth anniverse. I mean tomorrow's
Speaker 2: the last weekly hot Tub. Yeah, and for those who
Speaker 2: don't know, I've been running a a stand up slash
Speaker 2: variety show weekly for twenty years with Christian Shock Crazy
Speaker 2: and Borrow was our last one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know I'll be there. It's going to be
Speaker 3: a real hang and I'm excited. I'm going to get
Speaker 3: there early because i want to grab a seat. I'm
Speaker 3: going to sit at the bar right where I did
Speaker 3: last week. And congratulations. It totally changed your stand up
Speaker 3: just having that audience every week. You went fast forward
Speaker 3: from never doing stand up to being a good stand
Speaker 3: up way faster than the average person. Because of Hot Tub,
Speaker 3: you were able to see comedy every week, host a
Speaker 3: show every week, and then also work material every week
Speaker 3: for years.
Speaker 2: For twenty years. My first time doing stand up was
Speaker 2: the first Hot Tub show.
Speaker 1: It truly was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's crazy because people don't realize how much
Speaker 3: work everything takes. For the coaches out there, for the
Speaker 3: teachers out there, for anybody who throws a birthday party
Speaker 3: for their kids, anybody does a yard sale, everything takes
Speaker 3: effort and to book comics and to show up on
Speaker 3: time and to move schedules around, and then to also
Speaker 3: go up there and perform. It takes a tremendous amount
Speaker 3: of work, even if sometimes it looks like it does not.
Speaker 3: So I'm relieved for you to have some free Wednesday
Speaker 3: nights moving forward, I think you're going to really enjoy that.
Speaker 3: I think I'm going to start something else at some point.
Speaker 2: I know I probably will because I like that, but
Speaker 2: I might also you know, who knows. Maybe we could
Speaker 2: do hot Tub every once in a while, but it's
Speaker 2: just not going to be weekly anymore, you know, And
Speaker 2: that makes sense and to be a good hang and yes,
Speaker 2: and that's what's nice about it. This is what people
Speaker 2: are all, like you said, and I'm like, no, I'm
Speaker 2: not sad, are you kidding me? Like this is I
Speaker 2: want I wanted it to because you know, there was
Speaker 2: a there's a point, especially because we had move venues
Speaker 2: and the many times the pandemic almost killed it that
Speaker 2: it was just like it wasn't necessarily what it was before, no,
Speaker 2: before the pandemic. But now that we said we're ending it,
Speaker 2: it has once again become what it was before, like
Speaker 2: just hot shows, packed audiences, feeling really good. And that's great.
Speaker 2: That is exactly what I wanted. I wanted it to
Speaker 2: be for it to feel good at the end, as
Speaker 2: opposed to just just stop because of a global pandemic.
Speaker 3: Well, sure, that's a good point. And also, as someone
Speaker 3: who's been there since, I think like the third hot
Speaker 3: til you ever did. The original pit ones were incredible
Speaker 3: because they were so new and they were so loose,
Speaker 3: and it was a variety of people. I mean, you'd
Speaker 3: have jugglers, you have magicians.
Speaker 1: Everything.
Speaker 2: We had Burless for a little while until Kristen was like,
Speaker 2: we're not having Burlesst anymore.
Speaker 3: Well, Burless got a moment back in that era in
Speaker 3: Brooklyn where every bar had a Burless show. And I've
Speaker 3: told it before, but I went into one and it
Speaker 3: was a bar man. It wasn't soda, but it was
Speaker 3: one of those bars over and that neighbor hood, and
Speaker 3: there's a woman dressed as a drade old who did
Speaker 3: burlesque to Drado dradl Dredad stripped out of being a
Speaker 3: Drado And I was like, we have reached the pinnacle
Speaker 3: of Brooklynism right now.
Speaker 1: It's very nice night. That's exciting. But that one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I always thought original pit and then the Pianos.
Speaker 3: When it was at Pianos, it was really rocking too. Yeah,
Speaker 3: comics tough, tough for him to do comics.
Speaker 2: I remember we did comics. We had David Cross on
Speaker 2: and then as the show was ending, a fight broke
Speaker 2: out at a table between two women. Were like one
Speaker 2: woman grabbed the other woman by her hair and I
Speaker 2: think like threw her into the table and it was
Speaker 2: like insane. It was like right at the end of
Speaker 2: the show, it was like the craziest thing. And I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, look at this at hot
Speaker 2: Tub right after David Cross went.
Speaker 3: Up, I know, because it was the neighborhood and like
Speaker 3: a different venue. Wasn't like the bohemian artsy space that
Speaker 3: the pit and pianos were. And then out here, you
Speaker 3: guys had that great run at Virgil where we did
Speaker 3: we ended Splitty in the city won there for anybody,
Speaker 3: it forgets the Virgil and that was a cool location too.
Speaker 3: And a lot of those shows when I would show up,
Speaker 3: if I was ten minutes late, I stood against the
Speaker 3: back wall.
Speaker 1: Some of those shows were packed out.
Speaker 3: So I think a lot of comics will come up
Speaker 3: to you and thank you, because I think you guys
Speaker 3: were the best show in New York and LA for
Speaker 3: a really long time. But I'm a huge fan of endings. Ye,
Speaker 3: like when something ends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm.
Speaker 3: Excited for both of you guys, because just there's something
Speaker 3: so good about putting something to sleep and moving on it.
Speaker 2: Really, I really there's an emotion there. There's emotionality, but
Speaker 2: it's not a sadness. It is a it is an appreciation. Really,
Speaker 2: that's what I feel like ever having. And then maybe
Speaker 2: kind of like because when you're going into the unknown
Speaker 2: of like that's always you know, you're like, will it
Speaker 2: be okay in the future without this, and it will.
Speaker 2: It'll just be exactly what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1: I was having a conversation two days ago.
Speaker 3: I was watching football with my friend Haley, and we
Speaker 3: were talking about breakups and we were both like, breakups
Speaker 3: are great, like and when a relationship ends, it feels horrible,
Speaker 3: but it always leads to better things. Yeah, And we
Speaker 3: were talking about those we all have those friends. And
Speaker 3: the weird thing is I would have thought I would
Speaker 3: have aged out of these friends having this experience where
Speaker 3: it usually starts in high school, but really in like
Speaker 3: the college years early twenties, where people are like longest
Speaker 3: relationship we dated for a year. We dated for two years,
Speaker 3: and then when they break up, they're like, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: go out there, I'm gonna meet so many people, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna date so many people.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hook up with so many people I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: And then the next person they date, they date for
Speaker 3: two years or three years, like those people that are
Speaker 3: just serial monogamous. We were just talking about how many
Speaker 3: people our lives are, like, you know, this is time
Speaker 3: for me to find myself. I'm just gonna travel, I'm
Speaker 3: just gonna do this fun stuff. And then it's like
Speaker 3: I went on a date with a guy named Troy,
Speaker 3: and now we're basically engaged, and you're like, what happened.
Speaker 3: I'd like the other version of you that was lying
Speaker 3: to me, and she was saying the same thing, and
Speaker 3: we were like, yeah, sometimes people talk a big game
Speaker 3: about how they're gonna become a whole new person. They
Speaker 3: slide right back into the comfort zone so fast.
Speaker 2: I have two friends who had who went through breakups
Speaker 2: and and we're and all of us were just like,
Speaker 2: this is dude, this is this is your time. Take
Speaker 2: time for yourself, Like, go out there, be single for
Speaker 2: a while.
Speaker 1: Smooch everybody be lonely.
Speaker 2: It's be lonely.
Speaker 1: Great to be lonely.
Speaker 2: Both of them, They're like boom immediately boom.
Speaker 3: It's such a phenomenon there. I bet the Germans have
Speaker 3: a word for that, because I want I want a
Speaker 3: word for that so bad. Like it's the thing where
Speaker 3: you lie to yourself. Oh, you lie to everyone, and
Speaker 3: you kind of you half lie to yourself and then
Speaker 3: you just know the next person who accepts you. You're
Speaker 3: just going with it. What a world we live in anyway.
Speaker 2: Man arrested over more than one thousand home intrus and
Speaker 2: says this so many Yeah, this was sent in by
Speaker 2: Reaching the Darkness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they said a lot of good stuff.
Speaker 2: Um, thank you Reaching the Darkness. This was in Japan today.
Speaker 1: Seems real written by.
Speaker 2: Nobody.
Speaker 1: Nobody swing in Japan today staff yep.
Speaker 2: This is in Fukuoka. Police in the Diesi Fu City,
Speaker 2: Fukuoka Prefecture have arrested a thirty seven year old man
Speaker 2: on suspicion of trespassing on the property of a man
Speaker 2: this week. Sure Police said utah Sugawara, a company employee,
Speaker 2: has admitted to the allegations, and quoted him as saying, quote,
Speaker 2: my hobby is trespassing. It's exciting and fun wondering if
Speaker 2: I'll be spotted. TV Asahi reported. Sugora was arrested on
Speaker 2: Monday after the property owner saw him in the garden
Speaker 2: of his house. He denied Sugiwara as he detained Sugara
Speaker 2: as he tried to escape while his wife called one
Speaker 2: one zero. Police said Suguworaro told them he had trespassed
Speaker 2: on private properties more than one thousand times. He told
Speaker 2: police the nervous excitement of whether wondering whether or not
Speaker 2: I'll be found helps relieve my stress.
Speaker 1: Well, I bet it.
Speaker 3: It's certainly a distraction when you're breaking and entering into
Speaker 3: somebody's home.
Speaker 2: I mean, he's just like and he's not stealing things.
Speaker 2: He's just like hunting around and he's just like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I just do it to relieve stress. It's cool. Don't
Speaker 2: worry about it, folks.
Speaker 1: I mean it seems kind of cool. I guess.
Speaker 3: Also, when you live in a country that everybody doesn't
Speaker 3: have nineteen guns, it's probably a lot easier to take
Speaker 3: this risk.
Speaker 2: Right exactly. And also, I mean I remember as a kid,
Speaker 2: you know, the construction sites were always a big thing.
Speaker 2: When construction sites were almost finished and you could still
Speaker 2: get into them because they hadn't put the doors, they
Speaker 2: hadn't put the handles on the door frames yet, right,
Speaker 2: and you could just like it was awesome. And then
Speaker 2: I was hunting around like a brand new house. Yes,
Speaker 2: it was so fun and cool. I loved it. I remember, Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever told this story.
Speaker 3: Ooh, we got one.
Speaker 2: I was so when I was like, I guess I
Speaker 2: was in eighth grade, so I must have been thirteen.
Speaker 2: I would every Saturday morning, wake up early and ride
Speaker 2: my I had a cruiser bike, like a beach cruiser bike,
Speaker 2: no gears, and I would ride it from my house
Speaker 2: to spring Lake. So from Neptune to spring Lake probably
Speaker 2: ten miles, probably take me about an hour, and part
Speaker 2: of it was along the board walk, which was really pretty,
Speaker 2: but it would always be very windy. And then I
Speaker 2: would go and meet up with my two best friends
Speaker 2: in eighth grade cool and then we would get on
Speaker 2: our bikes and we would just ride and go places
Speaker 2: and trying to like get into trouble, like all day long.
Speaker 2: And then we would always end up at a pizza
Speaker 2: place in I think in in Spring Lake. I guess
Speaker 2: where they had video games and we would eat pizza
Speaker 2: and play video games and then my mom would pick
Speaker 2: me up at Like.
Speaker 3: That's literally heaven. You're describing heaven, right, You already were there.
Speaker 3: I was already there, exactly. Heaven is here now, folks, Yes,
Speaker 3: may the present.
Speaker 2: That is literally the theme of a of a Ryan
Speaker 2: not Ryan Reynolds. Who's the other guy who looks like
Speaker 2: Ryan Reynolds who wrote Goodwill Hunting with Matt Damon.
Speaker 1: Ben a Fleck, Ben a Fleck, Ben a Fleck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always get Ben Affleck and Ryan Reynolds confused.
Speaker 2: Ben Affleck wrote a movie. I think it's called Havana.
Speaker 2: I can't remember the name of it, but that's the
Speaker 2: theme of it. No one liked everyone shit on this movie.
Speaker 2: I watch it on a plane, but that's the theme
Speaker 2: of it, and I really do like that theme. The
Speaker 2: movie is just fine. And I don't know if it's
Speaker 2: called Havanah, don't quote me on it. I don't even
Speaker 2: know who the fuck Ben Affleck is. I call him
Speaker 2: Ryan Rynolds.
Speaker 3: All right, I hope Ben Affleck did write a movie
Speaker 3: called Havana. And this was the first podcast that's ever
Speaker 3: spoken about it ever, and if he didn't, what is
Speaker 3: that Mandela effect or something even better?
Speaker 2: It's about him as like a gangster. And part of
Speaker 2: it takes place in Havana, Cuba. And and I didn't
Speaker 2: mean to say Cuba, guys, I've meant to say.
Speaker 3: You did it too. You meant to say Cuba. You
Speaker 3: always say Cuba, Gooding Junior.
Speaker 2: So then so one day we're riding our bikes and
Speaker 2: there's an old abandoned hotel that was in Spring Lake
Speaker 2: and I can't remember what it's called, but it was
Speaker 2: an Irish name. And uh, and I convince everybody I'm
Speaker 2: the bad kid. I'm from Neptune, right, Neptune lashk kid.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. Bryan and Jim they had both parents are
Speaker 2: home like Jim's mom is is like a teacher at
Speaker 2: our school, you know, good Catholic boys. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: all right, we're gonna go get on the room for
Speaker 2: this abandoned hotel. And I and I so we park
Speaker 2: our bikes and we just kind of throw them down
Speaker 2: on the ground and then start crawling up within. I mean,
Speaker 2: this was what it was like being in New Jersey
Speaker 2: is such a police state. Within five minutes of being
Speaker 2: on the roof of this so no one could see us.
Speaker 2: Cops saw our bikes drive and cops were immediately immediately,
Speaker 2: there's five cop cars and they're on allowed speaker telling
Speaker 2: us to like come down. And of course Brian and
Speaker 2: Jim are furious at me because this was my idea.
Speaker 2: I made them do it.
Speaker 3: Also, you're a kid that's like in retrospect, you're like, what,
Speaker 3: they can't do anything to you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, and then and then they just they just
Speaker 2: bully you. So like we come down and they just bully us,
Speaker 2: and then we're like, we're telling your parents and and
Speaker 2: so then we have to like put our bikes in
Speaker 2: the cop car that we get put in the back
Speaker 2: of the cop car, and they just tell Bride's and
Speaker 2: then they like got busy and like left, So they
Speaker 2: didn't tell my parents or Jim's parents. And so Bride
Speaker 2: is the only one who gets.
Speaker 1: In trouble, perfect the ones that wanted to do it
Speaker 1: the least.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what who wanted to do with the least?
Speaker 2: And he's the only one who got in trouble and
Speaker 2: and I just rode my bike home.
Speaker 3: Yeah there's some oh man. But also you didn't really
Speaker 3: do everything. I mean, I know it's trespassing, but gives
Speaker 3: us ship.
Speaker 2: It was delightful. It was so much fun. Until that
Speaker 2: moment it felt like we're finally doing something. Was that
Speaker 2: the end of that story that guy just Japan today,
Speaker 2: gets in, gives you not enough facts, and gets out fast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like them, They're cool. That was like when
Speaker 3: you and I were in New York and those weekly
Speaker 3: rags are the daily ones like the Metro not Metro.
Speaker 3: It was those little newspapers that were like three pages long,
Speaker 3: and you would be like, well, I only have a
Speaker 3: fifteen minute ride, so I'm gonna read every word of
Speaker 3: this highly disposable piece of crap. Yep, here we go.
Speaker 3: Tiamarie Buran sent this in thank you. You can always send
Speaker 3: any stories you want to us the Banana Boys at
Speaker 3: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. We have a
Speaker 3: website bananas podcast dot com if you need all our information,
Speaker 3: our merch all that kind of crap or the fastest
Speaker 3: way is dm us Strange news stories to the Bananas
Speaker 3: Podcast at Instagram, not even at anything, just on Instagram. Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: Man proposes to girlfriend with a piece of cheese next
Speaker 3: to a dumpster quote. Everything about this day was perfect.
Speaker 3: This was in People magazine, written by Best in the
Speaker 3: Business journalist Brian Anthony Hernandez. You could have been ba Hernandez.
Speaker 3: That's a tough name, Brian. Think about it for your
Speaker 3: next article. Nine years ago, on the Georgia Tech campus
Speaker 3: in Atlanta, first year student maytie Lee Apple Apple asked
Speaker 3: out her crush Maye Teeley. I'm going to stick to
Speaker 3: the first name on that one. Apple War asked out
Speaker 3: her crush Yash Punjabi on a date in the cheesiest
Speaker 3: way possible by writing it on a piece of cheese.
Speaker 2: By writing it on a piece.
Speaker 3: She asked them out by writing like will you go
Speaker 3: out with me? On a piece of cheese, and then
Speaker 3: handed it to Yash.
Speaker 2: Is it a This is a special cheese marker that
Speaker 2: marks up cheese. I don't know what How do you
Speaker 2: write it on a piece of cheese?
Speaker 1: Meet?
Speaker 3: Healey knows no bounds. She's a woman without limits. Eighteen
Speaker 3: year old me wasn't really thinking of this as my
Speaker 3: proposal location, so I did it right next to a dumpster.
Speaker 3: Apple War remembered about the January twenty fifteen moment outside
Speaker 3: Smith residence hall. Apple War, an industrial engineering major, and Punjabi,
Speaker 3: a computer science major, continued dating before they graduated from
Speaker 3: Georgia Tech, completed their MBAs at Wharton in Philadelphia, and
Speaker 3: moved to India to start their careers in the industrial
Speaker 3: packaging industry. These two are crushing life. These are smarty
Speaker 3: pants lovebirds. If you're a smarty pants love bird, good
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 1: Then.
Speaker 3: They recently returned to Georgia Tech, where Punjabi surprised apple
Speaker 3: War with a cheesy and fitting marriage proposal. We did
Speaker 3: everything we loved doing when we were undergrads, including sneaking
Speaker 3: into the football stadium, she explained, and at the end
Speaker 3: of the walk, Yash took me to the same dumpster
Speaker 3: and asked me to marry him by writing it on
Speaker 3: a piece of cheese.
Speaker 2: That's so great. It's really good. That's like a good, good, thoughtful,
Speaker 2: especially for like a straight up engineer nerd. You would
Speaker 2: assume it's just all math up there. That's a very
Speaker 2: romantic person.
Speaker 1: He ran the numbers. We did bubbah bah.
Speaker 3: The campus visit was all part of Yash's plan to
Speaker 3: surprise the love of his life. The Georgia Tech LinkedIn
Speaker 3: page so you know it's good. You know you're having
Speaker 3: a great time. If you're following Georgia Tech on LinkedIn.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine a more fun account than that Georgia
Speaker 3: Tech LinkedIn page just all Engineers, just cracking wise, alongside
Speaker 3: a photo of the happy couple posing with the university's
Speaker 3: yellow jacket mascot, Buzz, who was on hand to witness
Speaker 3: the proposal. Okay he pulled out every stop Apple War
Speaker 3: proclaimed it is every over enthusiastic alum's dream for Buzz
Speaker 3: to show up for important student events or alumni milestones,
Speaker 3: and everything about this day was perfect. The walk, our
Speaker 3: families and friends being there to celebrate after and Buzz
Speaker 3: showing up. She concluded, So, congratulations you two love birds.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I'm confused this to Buzzes.
Speaker 1: Okay, Buzzes, they are tech mascot is a yellow jack.
Speaker 2: He's a mascot. Thanks.
Speaker 3: So it's a giant bee mascot or a yellowjacket mascot.
Speaker 3: And you know, I guess it's a big deal of
Speaker 3: Buzz shows up.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: That's great. That means that this was a this was
Speaker 2: an event worthy of like a sporting mascot. So he
Speaker 2: proposes and then there's a giant bee there or is
Speaker 2: there a giant bee there? And then he proposes.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, there wasn't video.
Speaker 3: There were photos and they are a very cute couple
Speaker 3: and they're like smiling so big it's that you could
Speaker 3: tell they're having day. But I think I think Yash
Speaker 3: planned the whole thing to have friends, family and buzz
Speaker 3: the mascot yellowjacket near the dumpster outside of Smith Residence Hall.
Speaker 1: Did they?
Speaker 3: I will say ba Hernandez didn't mention what kind of
Speaker 3: cheese it was, which is interesting.
Speaker 2: I mean, the only thing I can imagine is like
Speaker 2: it's a cheese stick and he wrote in marker on
Speaker 2: the outside of on the plastic wrapper of.
Speaker 1: The cheese like draft single, right.
Speaker 2: Or a craft single or you know what. They do
Speaker 2: have those like little it might be from like the
Speaker 2: the residence hall or whatever, Like they're like little squares
Speaker 2: of thicker cheese that you can put on crackers that
Speaker 2: are like like wrapped up in plastic.
Speaker 3: Maybe it is I think it was a whole stick
Speaker 3: of just cracker barrel Havardi, just the whole thing of Havardy.
Speaker 1: Just because then you just have to say when do
Speaker 1: I throw this away?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: How long you have to carry a half a pound
Speaker 3: of Havardi cheese? That in smeary sharpie says, do you
Speaker 3: want to go out with me?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 3: Or en?
Speaker 1: Question?
Speaker 2: Mark? What you do with that is you put it
Speaker 2: on the dumps dirt, you take a photograph, you print
Speaker 2: that photograph, you frame it. You throw that.
Speaker 1: Cheese right in the trash.
Speaker 2: Or you eat it that night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you eat it right away.
Speaker 3: That's what I was gonna say to eat it, eat it,
Speaker 3: get yourself backed up for two weeks and just remember
Speaker 3: how special that night was.
Speaker 1: That's pretty sweet. Though.
Speaker 3: Atlanta and Animals did the Varsity close? It's a it
Speaker 3: was a big restaurant that I loved going to fifteen
Speaker 3: years ago, but I think it might have closed. And
Speaker 3: it's right near Georgia Tech. So Atlanta and Animals dm
Speaker 3: ME did the Varsity close that Kurt. They were famous
Speaker 3: for their slaw dogs, hot dogs with heaping poles of
Speaker 3: Coles law on them.
Speaker 2: That's why isn't that more common?
Speaker 3: They had incredible sides. They had like an orange dreamsickle
Speaker 3: thing that you would drink. And then all the women
Speaker 3: that worked there were local Atlanta women who Well, I
Speaker 3: was about to say, pretended like they hated you, but
Speaker 3: I think just hated you.
Speaker 1: And they would say what you have, what you have?
Speaker 1: What you have?
Speaker 3: When you walked up to them, they would just say
Speaker 3: what you have, and you'd be like, I'll take two
Speaker 3: slaw dogs.
Speaker 1: And onion rings and an orange dream circle.
Speaker 3: And then they would just put their hand out with
Speaker 3: the amount of money that you needed. And then it
Speaker 3: was great. They made you feel like shit. The food
Speaker 3: was delicious, it was a huge drive in walk in.
Speaker 1: It was awesome.
Speaker 2: Oh that's awesome.
Speaker 1: Awesome. I hope the Varsity is still there.
Speaker 2: Why not have silly thing that everybody has to like
Speaker 2: that you say to the people. If you have a
Speaker 2: place of business, why not instruct everyone to have a
Speaker 2: an idiosyncratic thing to say to the person when they
Speaker 2: walk up. I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: Show me your wallet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's what I would say, and then everybody
Speaker 3: just awkwardly pulls out their wallet. Okay, welcome to Scooties,
Speaker 3: Home of the signed. Have ardy cheese stick?
Speaker 2: Should I tease us into ooh some thumbs?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Most mysterious song on the Internet identified after seventeen years
Speaker 2: and the band was oblivious to the online phenomenon.
Speaker 3: Wow, I wish it's the Oh Holy Night worst cover
Speaker 3: ever that my family listens to every Christmas, which is
Speaker 3: still brings a tear to my eye.
Speaker 1: Thumbs up.
Speaker 3: First of all, Kurti B and I are thumbs up
Speaker 3: in Kureen Sovie, who is getting a thumbs up from
Speaker 3: the Banana Boys for creating our Pinterest account. Bananas has
Speaker 3: a beautiful pinterest sport and Coreen built it and she
Speaker 3: turned into something amazing. She keeps posting on it. So
Speaker 3: if you like the Bananas Podcast and you like Pinterest,
Speaker 3: follow us, have some fun, contribute pin us whatever you do.
Speaker 3: But thank you thumbs up for going way above and beyond, Coreen.
Speaker 1: We appreciate you so much.
Speaker 3: Also, she's come to our live shows too, and that's
Speaker 3: a great great Bananamal great gal. Jimmy is thumbing himself up.
Speaker 3: Jimmy never enjoyed haircuts, getting them, he means, but recently
Speaker 3: he's been growing his hair out and cutting it off
Speaker 3: for organizations like wigs for kids who need them send
Speaker 3: a photo cut. He had very long hair and that's
Speaker 3: such a great thing to do. So if you're in
Speaker 3: the giving spirit this year and you want to do
Speaker 3: something like that, Google wigs for kids and see if
Speaker 3: you can donate.
Speaker 1: Your luscious locks.
Speaker 2: Thumbs up.
Speaker 3: Thumbs up to that. This one I just found. I
Speaker 3: was having a DM exchange with a bananimal, Lucia Hower,
Speaker 3: who started something called Backpack Buddies when she was nine
Speaker 3: years old. It's been fifteen years later. They've donated over
Speaker 3: fourteen hundred backpacks and school supplies to Virginia students. So
Speaker 3: it was just a kid started a charity fifteen years later,
Speaker 3: it's still going strong. I noticed the charity and say,
Speaker 3: what's the deal? Like, I was like, oh, we'll donate
Speaker 3: or something, and found out that Lucia, who listens to
Speaker 3: the podcast, started this years ago. Never brought it up,
Speaker 3: you know, just doing her thing. But yeah, fourteen hundred
Speaker 3: backpacks and school supplies for Virginia students. What a nice
Speaker 3: Jimmy and Lucia, what nice people? Right on, let me see,
Speaker 3: let's end on a fun one here. This is a
Speaker 3: fun one. Oh, Kurt, you're gonna love this.
Speaker 1: Kelly.
Speaker 3: Kelly is thumbing her brother Scott up for being named
Speaker 3: one of the top rated lawyers in our very favorite magazine.
Speaker 3: Yes super lawyers love super Lawyers. Scott is a super
Speaker 3: lawyer in wichitaal so thumbs up to you, Scott Thumb.
Speaker 3: You top rated Wichita lawyer in the greatest magazine in
Speaker 3: the universe.
Speaker 2: These super lawyer, super Lawyer Our lawyers.
Speaker 3: Isn't that so great? And thank you Kelly Good Thanks
Speaker 3: to everybody who send stuff in.
Speaker 1: We appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Thumbs up thumb. I got to give it up for
Speaker 2: the lawyers to name it super Lawyers. Is it's the
Speaker 2: best name for a magazine. I don't you know. It
Speaker 2: could have been so many other things. It could have
Speaker 2: been Lawyers in Profile, it could have been it could
Speaker 2: have been Lawyer Today or Lawyers Monthly. But super Lawyers
Speaker 2: is just also do pete. My question is this, This
Speaker 2: is what I want to know. Do lawyers pick up
Speaker 2: Super Lawyers and say, let me give this a read
Speaker 2: or do lawyers who's reading.
Speaker 3: Super Lawer they do think only lawyers are mentioned?
Speaker 4: Ye?
Speaker 3: I already I only think super lawyers. I already think
Speaker 3: lawyers read super Lawyers. I don't know then who else
Speaker 3: would be slightly interested in that?
Speaker 2: Knowing who's a super lawyer.
Speaker 3: There's a magazine in the South. My friend used to
Speaker 3: have it on our coffee table. That were just all
Speaker 3: men who didn't pay child support. It was just photos
Speaker 3: of men who didn't pay child support.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, there's a I remember. I think it was
Speaker 2: in Michigan magazines, full magazines that are just mug shots,
Speaker 2: just called mug shots, and it's just mug shots.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: You want to hear this article, Scotty.
Speaker 3: I would love nothing more in my whole life than
Speaker 3: to hear this article.
Speaker 2: Most mysterious song on the Internet identified after seventeen years.
Speaker 2: This was in CBS News. This was sent in by
Speaker 2: Matt Wood.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Matt, Thank you mattuh.
Speaker 2: CBS News written by ooh.
Speaker 1: Who typed this one out beautifully?
Speaker 2: Nobody, man, they are.
Speaker 1: The Internet these Maybe it was a mistake after.
Speaker 2: All, magically appeared on their website.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: For the last seventeen years, a worldwide army of online
Speaker 2: sleuths obsessively tried to figure out the title of what
Speaker 2: has been dubbed the most Mysterious song on the Internet.
Speaker 2: Now they have the answer, after a chance discovery by
Speaker 2: one intrepid researcher who triumphantly reported his breakthrough on online
Speaker 2: forum Reddit. It is called Subways of your Mind and
Speaker 2: recorded by a little known nineteen eighties German band called
Speaker 2: f e x Okay. Former band members are absolutely overwhelmed
Speaker 2: by the news. Sixty eight year old Michael Hedrick, who
Speaker 2: played keyboard and guitar and sank backup vocals for FEX,
Speaker 2: told Dershpiegel magazine the band had been oblivious to the
Speaker 2: online phenomenon. How the mystery unfolded. Mystery begins in two
Speaker 2: thousand and seven when a German brother and sister uploaded
Speaker 2: a track online that they had digitized after originally recording
Speaker 2: it as Teenagers on a cassette from the radio. As
Speaker 2: a Rolling Stone reported in twenty nineteen, the tape mostly
Speaker 2: featured songs from popular bands like XTC and The Cure,
Speaker 2: as well as one particular song that remained a mystery
Speaker 2: until now. The German siblings asked for help to identify
Speaker 2: it in audio files soon took up the challenge. The
Speaker 2: track did not show up in any music databases, but
Speaker 2: online truths sleuths tried to work out what instrument could
Speaker 2: be heard and analyzed the lead singer's accent. Initial attempts
Speaker 2: to identify the song soon classified by many as being
Speaker 2: in the nineteen eighties new wave genre yielded little. It
Speaker 2: was only when the track was uploaded onto Reddit in
Speaker 2: twenty nineteen that global interest exploded. A Reddit sub forum
Speaker 2: called the Mysterious Song attracted tens of thousands tens of
Speaker 2: thousands of members, and the hunt was reported on in
Speaker 2: German media and beyond. The big breakthrough finally came earlier
Speaker 2: this week, when a user called margin one four one
Speaker 2: do said he had identified the song as Subways of
Speaker 2: Your Mind. He said he came across former f EX
Speaker 2: members while researching an event for up and coming bands
Speaker 2: that had been organized in the nineteen eighties by a
Speaker 2: public broadcaster in northern Germany.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: The reddit user wrote that he had reached out to
Speaker 2: members of what was a four piece outfit from the
Speaker 2: northern city of Kiel, who sent him a version of
Speaker 2: the mystery song and revealed its long sought after name.
Speaker 2: Margin fourteen twelve wrote after I emailed him back that
Speaker 2: the song is actually quite famous lost song, a famous
Speaker 2: los song. He asked me not to go public with
Speaker 2: it until he spoke to his old band members. In
Speaker 2: the meantime, though the song did get registered at the
Speaker 2: German Performance Rights organizations GEMMA and people found out about it,
Speaker 2: but I'm happy to say that the band members agreed
Speaker 2: for me to go public with it. Wow, Heydrick is
Speaker 2: still a musician, he told Derspiegel, and it was the
Speaker 2: first time he heard about the massive search effort. I
Speaker 2: thought it was amazing that someone was interested in music
Speaker 2: by a band that was only successful regionally, if at all,
Speaker 2: and that was forty Head.
Speaker 1: That's cool. That's a cool to except the reality.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to be real about it, be like its regionally successful.
Speaker 1: Hey, that's plenty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, music seems so hard, Like when you look at
Speaker 3: the arts, there is a scale of difficulty and music
Speaker 3: to be successful in the music business feels harder than
Speaker 3: becoming a movie star in my opinion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really, it really truly does, because there's just
Speaker 2: so many amazing bands that I think have they have
Speaker 2: day jobs of you know, like bands that are like
Speaker 2: some of my favorite bands. I remember seeing I remember
Speaker 2: going to Great Jones. It was I think it was
Speaker 2: just called Great Jones. It was a bar on Great
Speaker 2: John Street. Yes, and the basis from Pavement work there
Speaker 2: in like the mid two thousands. Yeah, Pavement was like
Speaker 2: the biggest indie band Seminal band from nineteen ninety two
Speaker 2: until nineteen ninety eight, and by two thousand and two
Speaker 2: the bassist was a bartender. You know, yeah, that's crazy,
Speaker 2: sounds good.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a good thing that it is crazy.
Speaker 3: When I was when I was in Tihiti a couple
Speaker 3: of years ago, and we would go to this bar
Speaker 3: called the Blue Banana. I mean it's a restaurant and
Speaker 3: it was very fun and very good. But most nights
Speaker 3: they had a woman singing and she was probably somewhere
Speaker 3: between eighteen to twenty five.
Speaker 1: She was young.
Speaker 3: She was a beautiful Polynesian woman who could sing the
Speaker 3: lights out. And I was sitting there thinking like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I really hope somebody like the rock or some actual
Speaker 3: megastar big comes here and goes, we gotta get this
Speaker 3: person famous. It was it was wild to me that
Speaker 3: somebody's so talented was just singing at a place called
Speaker 3: the Blue Banana that serves like seafood and pizza.
Speaker 1: And I was like, but.
Speaker 3: That's Everybody has a friend or a sibling who can
Speaker 3: sing incredibly. Everybody is related to somebody is like the
Speaker 3: best guitarist they've ever heard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I was living in New Jersey in twenty sixteen,
Speaker 2: twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen, more I was sick, I would
Speaker 2: go to Asbury Park and at that time there was
Speaker 2: a bar on the beach called Asbury Park Yacht Club,
Speaker 2: which is now a different bar. It doesn't it Asbar
Speaker 2: Yacht Club does not exist. But this band deal Casino
Speaker 2: had a weekly residence. So every week they would play
Speaker 2: and I just would go there and I was like
Speaker 2: drinking a lot because my mom was dying and I
Speaker 2: was like in a bad place, but I would go
Speaker 2: there and watch them, and I remember just one night
Speaker 2: just being so drunk, just being like, I gotta get
Speaker 2: these guys. I gotta get them on the Tonight Show.
Speaker 2: They gotta be famous to the best band I've ever heard,
Speaker 2: And they legitimately were an excellent band. And you can
Speaker 2: now go the lead singer. He's now a solo artist
Speaker 2: called Joe P. And he's on Instagram, is doing very
Speaker 2: well and he's got great songs that you go listen to.
Speaker 1: Joe P from that very nice There we Go.
Speaker 3: I are our friend, friend of the pod and and
Speaker 3: also recorded a version of our theme Jesse Peyo pomp Pomps.
Speaker 3: She and I text each other this same Instagram reel
Speaker 3: once every couple of weeks, and there.
Speaker 1: I mean, I almost get I was cant talk about it.
Speaker 3: I laughed so hard. It's a it's a guy who's
Speaker 3: named Mick Hucknall, and.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have to post to the stories.
Speaker 3: I don't know if any single YouTube video or digital
Speaker 3: video has.
Speaker 1: Ever made me laugh harder.
Speaker 3: And you can't understand what he's singing, but it's like
Speaker 3: a guy singing in the backyard at some just gathering
Speaker 3: and he gets up there with a lot of confidence,
Speaker 3: and when he starts singing, it is beyond human comprehension.
Speaker 3: I've watched the video. I don't know, honestly, I've I
Speaker 3: needed two hundred times. There hasn't been a single time
Speaker 3: I haven't laughed.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm laughing. So I'm laughing right now.
Speaker 3: Out thinking about Mick huck naw and something about the
Speaker 3: real like the guy puts, you know, like writing Chiro
Speaker 3: or whatever on the screen. It's just says to sit
Speaker 3: back and listen to the smooth sounds of Mick Hucknall,
Speaker 3: and it's oh my god. I'm gonna post it whenever
Speaker 3: this week comes out or whenever this episode comes out,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna post it every day in the stories. It's
Speaker 3: so bad that I and I watch it and I'm like,
Speaker 3: Jesse is a great singer. I'm like, we need to
Speaker 3: hire a linguist to figure out what lyrics he's singing.
Speaker 3: Jesse said she's going to do a cover of it.
Speaker 3: Oh man, it truly makes me cry with laughter every time.
Speaker 3: It's so bad, weird, it's pure bananas absurd, and the
Speaker 3: fact that somebody uploaded it to the internet makes me laugh.
Speaker 1: The thing that makes me laugh even harder.
Speaker 3: Somebody saw it because the world needs to see this.
Speaker 3: Mick huck No, my god, that gets me. Nere we
Speaker 3: go see, I'll go to.
Speaker 1: Let me see which one I want to do?
Speaker 3: Here?
Speaker 1: Got quite a few.
Speaker 3: Oh, this one's there's an educational one. It is an
Speaker 3: educational podcast after all. Shosh Kabob sent this in.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: That's very nice of you to send it in. This
Speaker 3: was on CNN dot Com, written by Jocelyn Solis Moreya.
Speaker 1: She's good.
Speaker 3: She is by far the best over there at CNN.
Speaker 3: She's best in the beeswax Kurt, Yes, Doctor's Warren, don't
Speaker 3: sit on the toilet for more than ten minutes.
Speaker 1: Exclamation point. Okay, okay, education.
Speaker 2: This is actually very good for parents, Yes, because the
Speaker 2: bathroom is sometimes a refuge for parents.
Speaker 3: Well, that's why I liked that Jocelyn's middle or hyphened
Speaker 3: is Solace right in the middle Jocelyn's Solace morea. You
Speaker 3: need a moment of solace, and it's nice to have
Speaker 3: a seat sometimes. And also I like Jocelyn writes in
Speaker 3: a very Internet casual way. She really is the best
Speaker 3: in the business. Let's be honest. She says, people have
Speaker 3: a habit of bringing their phones into the bathroom. Thank
Speaker 3: you for your honesty. They're joscein Solace morea. I've been
Speaker 3: guilty of it myself. And chances are that someone is
Speaker 3: on the toilet reading this article right now. Chances are
Speaker 3: somebody's on the toilet listening to this podcast right now.
Speaker 3: I would prefer if that's the only way people listen
Speaker 3: to this podcast.
Speaker 2: What a relief under ten minutes at a time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, ten minutes. It's like, guys, your listenership is growing,
Speaker 3: You're getting more listens but for way shorter amounts of time.
Speaker 3: It's easy for a three minute trip to the lou
Speaker 3: to turn into fifteen minutes of reading, scrolling, and posting.
Speaker 3: It might seem harmless, a way to pass the time
Speaker 3: when you're going number two. However, experts warn that what
Speaker 3: they called prolonged sitting on the toilet can harm your health.
Speaker 3: It's even experts call experts call at a number two. However,
Speaker 3: experts warn that what they call prolonged city.
Speaker 2: Sitting out the toilet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're they're at a very technical name, prolonged sitting.
Speaker 1: Prolonged sitting on the tolet.
Speaker 2: Citing gets you a prolapsed asshole?
Speaker 1: Is that you like?
Speaker 3: It's even been connected to an increased risk of hemorrhoids
Speaker 3: and weaken pelvic muscles. You don't want weak pelvic muscles.
Speaker 3: You want those pelvic.
Speaker 1: Muscles benching to three hundred pounds each.
Speaker 2: You want to be able to pick up dice with
Speaker 2: your butthole.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3: When patient oh, doctor LIESU a colorectal surgeon at University
Speaker 3: of Texas Southwestern Medical Center that's in Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 2: All right, I.
Speaker 3: Believe we've got to go to Dallas, Texas. We got
Speaker 3: to do a live show there.
Speaker 1: That's will they have.
Speaker 3: We have a big listenership there, We've got to do
Speaker 3: Dallas Fort Worth that seems good to me.
Speaker 2: Or I'll set it up.
Speaker 1: That's fun. We're coming for you people.
Speaker 3: Oh this is what doctor you said when patients present
Speaker 3: to me with complaints. One of the main areas that
Speaker 3: we have to delve into is delve into deeply. Is
Speaker 3: spending too much time on the toilet?
Speaker 2: And now that people got bid days is taken days
Speaker 2: for days? Yeah, exactly, you can be day for day.
Speaker 3: Dude, I got it. You just reminded me of a
Speaker 3: story I've never told in this podcast. On this right, No,
Speaker 3: got it, people should spend an average of five to
Speaker 3: ten minutes on the john. According to doctor for Farah Monzer,
Speaker 3: an assistant Professor of medicine and director of the Inflammatory
Speaker 3: Ball Disease Center in Stony Brook Medicine, Long Island, New York.
Speaker 3: What a fun place to drive up to every day?
Speaker 3: What does their parking garage look like? Not as funny
Speaker 3: as it should? Why is it a problem if you
Speaker 3: stay longer? Well, first, there's a short physics lesson involved.
Speaker 3: Gravity keeps us grounded to Earth, but the same gravity
Speaker 3: also forces the body to work harder to pump blood.
Speaker 3: Back up to the heart. Okay, Oh, the open, oval
Speaker 3: shaped toilet seat compresses the buttocks. Yeah right, keep trying. Yeah,
Speaker 3: nothing compresses these buttocks.
Speaker 2: Not mine. I got two pillows, that's damn right.
Speaker 1: Mine are like two frozen canalos. Back.
Speaker 3: There ain't nothing compressing these buttocks keeping the rectum in
Speaker 3: the lower position than if you're sitting, say on the couch,
Speaker 3: with gravity pulling the lower half of the body down.
Speaker 3: That increase pressure affects your blood circulation.
Speaker 1: It becomes a.
Speaker 3: One wea V valve where blood excuse me, yes we're
Speaker 3: blood enters, but blood really can't go back up. As
Speaker 3: a result, the veins and blood vessels surrounding the anus
Speaker 3: and lower rectum become enlarged and engorged with blood, increasing
Speaker 3: the risk of hemorrhoids. To avoid spending this is why
Speaker 3: I think there's this one quote. Oh yeah, I'm coming
Speaker 3: up to it. There's one thing that when I read
Speaker 3: this article, like and that's the quote, I needed to
Speaker 3: avoid spending too much time on the porcelain throne. Doctor
Speaker 3: Lance Orodomo and interventional gastro Entrologists at City of Hope,
Speaker 3: Orange County in Irvine, California, The Golden State. Advise keeping phones,
Speaker 3: magazines and books out of the bathroom, keeping phones, magazines
Speaker 3: and books all the bathroom, Doctor Lance, have you.
Speaker 1: Lost your mind? Like Kurt needs this alone time? He's
Speaker 1: never alone.
Speaker 2: I really am never alone.
Speaker 3: The funniest is you and I are of the age
Speaker 3: were way before cell phones where you would have those things,
Speaker 3: where you'd be like, there's no magazine of books anything,
Speaker 3: So you just start reading the backs of shampoo bottles
Speaker 3: and soap and.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was oxy clean, and it was before
Speaker 5: each The back of every shampoo bottle was like a
Speaker 5: long story about the founder's journey to finding why they
Speaker 5: want to make shampoo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that all feels like AI wrote that back then
Speaker 3: or breaks it now, but it just feels like this
Speaker 3: is absolute blowny. So doctor Lance Orodomo, the biggest bummer
Speaker 3: in the bathroom ever, says, you don't want to go
Speaker 3: with the mindset that you're going to be there for
Speaker 3: a long time, because you're going to want to bring
Speaker 3: something to keep your mind occupied. He said, this is
Speaker 3: the end quote of this article makes sitting on the
Speaker 3: toilet as uninteresting as possible.
Speaker 1: Here's here's I love that quote.
Speaker 2: Here's the way to do it, I think, and it's
Speaker 2: happened to me a couple times. We go into a
Speaker 2: bathroom someone's house, rarely at someone's house, usually an establishment,
Speaker 2: and there's a floor to ceiling mirror facing you, so
Speaker 2: then you have to look at yourself on the toilet. Yes,
Speaker 2: that'll make you get up a s a p.
Speaker 1: It is humiliate yourself.
Speaker 2: Taking a dump is the most so vulnerable, vulnerable, humiliating experience.
Speaker 2: It's like, why are we forcing there's like the only
Speaker 2: like people want to watch themselves have sex. They don't
Speaker 2: want to watch themselves defecate, do you know? Yeah, just
Speaker 2: put one of those in every in everyone.
Speaker 1: Then we're gonna that's what you're into when you're having sex.
Speaker 3: And you know, we're not gonna judge if your adults
Speaker 3: and your consenting do whatever weird thing in front of
Speaker 3: the mirror you want to, we don't judge. The first
Speaker 3: time I ever used a bidet, you mentioned bedets, it
Speaker 3: was a Japanese toilet, but it was in Paris, France.
Speaker 3: So I go into this bathroom. Never see a Japanese toilet,
Speaker 3: heated seats, the I mean this thing out to work
Speaker 3: remote control on the wall.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sit down.
Speaker 3: I'm uh with a lady friend, not in the bathroom
Speaker 3: but in the hotel, and I am like pushing all
Speaker 3: the buttons, which is what you would do, and you know,
Speaker 3: one spraise air freshener. One does something I can't see,
Speaker 3: and then I'm like, I wonder which one's the bed
Speaker 3: day And so then I push this one button and
Speaker 3: the biddet starts and it is a kill shop.
Speaker 1: It is a direct hit.
Speaker 3: And I'm assuming that it runs for you know, ten seconds,
Speaker 3: fifteen seconds, and.
Speaker 1: It keeps going yeah, and it is fired.
Speaker 3: I cannot find the off button on this thing to
Speaker 3: save my life because it's a Toto that company. It's
Speaker 3: written in Japanese. I'm hitting all the buttons. Lights are
Speaker 3: coming on. I wish it wasn't. Yeah, exactly, I wish that,
Speaker 3: but that wasn't the case. But everything happening behind it's flushing,
Speaker 3: but that be they is still going. And the problem
Speaker 3: is the bday is so powerful that I know that
Speaker 3: if I stand up, it's going to just shoot into
Speaker 3: the room, shoot me, soak everything. So I am like
Speaker 3: and then I'm like, can I unplug this whole toilet?
Speaker 1: Like is there?
Speaker 3: And you can, but it's built to the wall, so
Speaker 3: I can't and I'm pushing every button combo I possibly can,
Speaker 3: and now time's going.
Speaker 1: So I just went in.
Speaker 3: There for a quick pee to like hit the road,
Speaker 3: and now I've been there so long trying to figure
Speaker 3: this out. That poor person was probably like this gentleman
Speaker 3: is destroying this hotel's plumbing system, right, And I'm and
Speaker 3: I'm like, can I stand up quick enough and close
Speaker 3: the seat where it won't spray me? And then I
Speaker 3: can figure it out later, or then I can go
Speaker 3: explain myself. And finally I pushed like this thing in
Speaker 3: the upper right corner that was just a bar. It
Speaker 3: looked like just it didn't have a depth, it did
Speaker 3: wasn't round. It was just a little like minus sign line.
Speaker 3: And I'm like God, and I push that and it
Speaker 3: just powers down and goes back into the toilet and
Speaker 3: I got out of there, and I'm like, next, but also,
Speaker 3: how did you know? And like it was the best
Speaker 3: case scenario is that I was sitting and blocking the toilet.
Speaker 3: I wasn't just standing next to it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, pressing buttons to see what was all about?
Speaker 3: Yeah, with the speech before the wedding written in a
Speaker 3: sloppy ink, but yeah it was. It made me look
Speaker 3: like absolutely sane. And then meanwhile, I'm sitting there just
Speaker 3: getting blasted for a full five minutes, full throttle, right
Speaker 3: to where the.
Speaker 1: Sun occasionally shines. And that's that.
Speaker 3: That's a teachable moment, pushed a little subtraction line.
Speaker 2: And that's how you end Bananas with a bidet with
Speaker 2: a NonStop baday. May your day be like a NonStop bday, folks,
Speaker 2: just delightful and refreshing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I liked that NonStop the day today, this has
Speaker 3: been bananas.
Speaker 1: A double whammy on that one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 2: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 3: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 2: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 3: And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Speaker 3: Georgia Hartstart
Speaker 2: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
Speaker 2: intern