WEBVTT - Smoothie (RE-RELEASE) 0:00:01.200 --> 0:00:02.320 Hi, I'm Kate Berlance. 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:03.440 I'm Jacqueline Novak. 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:07.080 And this is poog, an ongoing conversation about wellness between 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:08.440 two obsessive reds. 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:09.960 Two untamable intellects. 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:11.959 This is our hobby, this is our hell, this is 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:16.160 our naked desire for free products. This is poog Today's topics, 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:21.480 loosely speaking toaster oven monuments, smoothie. 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.360 I just saw Kate's Kate, nice to see you. I 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.800 saw your berry lip, and I'm now screaming for one 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:31.760 for myself. Chris, will you grab any lipstick at all? 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:34.040 You're in the closet, vanity. 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:39.599 Yes, I grabbed my Westpintilier lip God you in the compact. 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:43.000 It's just how much time do you spend gazing into 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:44.599 a mirror on average? 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:45.559 Almost none. 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:51.360 I gaze constantly, really well as a child. I as 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:53.880 an only child, of course, but I spent so much 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:55.279 time in the mirror that. 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.800 Was like Chris has returned with us with a true 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:01.320 red about your only child. 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:05.320 Isn't as well as a child. As an only child, 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:09.800 I spent an infinite number of hours in the mirror. 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.759 And I remember, actually I had a mirror in my room, 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:16.440 and then I had a little like play vanity. So 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:17.600 I was like in front of the mirror, and then 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:19.760 in front of the mirror was like a little vanity mirror. 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:25.800 So there were actually two mirrors. But I would constantly. 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:28.640 I mean, it's like the average stuff of just you know, 0:01:28.720 --> 0:01:32.920 lip lip syncing, slipping, lip singing. This always happens to me. 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:38.560 Lip singing, no lip syncing. Wait, it's lip syncing. And okay, okay, yes, 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:40.680 I just remember it's lip syncing. But I actually think 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:43.479 it should be lip singing because lip syncing you're sinking 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.520 to the music. But okay, I guess actually. 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.480 Make sense someone else is singing. 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:52.720 Yeah, I called it lip singing for twenty two years. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:55.440 Really without you thought everyone was just kind of hitting 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.040 it hard, hitting the consonant hard. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:01:58.840 I thought I was confused, but I also kind of 0:01:58.840 --> 0:01:59.560 doubled down. 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:01.320 Double down, because you think it should be that. 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.640 To me, it was always lip singing, yeah, because I 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:06.919 wasn't singing. I was singing just with my lips anyway. 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.480 But uh wait, lips singing. No, right, But then that 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:11.960 implies that you're singing. 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.799 Right right, right, that's true, true, that's true, that's true. 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:19.000 I'm not doing another another mirror thing I did. I'll 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:21.520 just say from the only Child vault that I'd spend 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:23.360 hours doing. And this is what makes me so grateful 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.440 for having not been exposed to the Internet, or just 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.760 not having the internet as a youth. Not to mark 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:32.200 myself as being in my very very very early thirties, 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:34.920 but I used to walk around my house with a 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:37.480 mirror under my nose. If you place a mirror directly 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:40.440 unto your nose, it looks like you're walking on the ceiling. 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:43.119 Oh that old gag. I thought it was hypochondria. No, no, no. 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:46.200 I would spend so much time walking around my house 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:48.000 imagining I was walking on the ceiling, and it was 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:52.240 like utterly I mean I can access that memory somatically. 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:55.320 It was like deeply thrilling and terrifying. Is like, oh 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:56.960 my god, I'm gonna, you know, walking off up to 0:02:56.960 --> 0:03:00.000 the certain like ledge to the ceiling and thinking you're 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:00.799 going to fall off. 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:02.920 It's great, But wait, let me take that in. 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.040 Where did I go just talking about the mirror, And 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:06.560 then I have a huge full length I have like 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:09.200 a wall in my bedroom is just purely a mirror. 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:10.360 I think I've mentioned that. 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.120 Actually, of course, a dancer's wall, So it's. 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:15.280 Great sometimes just to look in there and gaze. And 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:18.520 I sometimes I've scared myself in the mirror, which is 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:20.800 one of the really fun things of mirror work, is 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:24.000 actually scaring yourself. Like I've sometimes gotten so close and 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:26.840 I convinced myself I'm being possessed. And I've done that 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.240 actually in an airplane bathroom. Once I took a nap, 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:32.359 went pe in the bathroom, and you know, the airplane 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:35.360 mirror is like right there if you're a squatting sitting whatnot. 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:37.960 And I remember staring into my eyes with such a 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:40.200 dead gaze for so long that I scared myself. I 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:42.040 thought that maybe I had either died or that I 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:45.400 was suddenly possessed and I would never return. And then 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:47.640 that makes you laugh because you realize, no, I'm not possessed. 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:49.160 I'm worrying about the laughter. 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:51.280 And laughing ecstatically in a mirror two inches from your 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:54.840 own face, soaring fifty thousand feet above the earth. Yeah, 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:55.960 I highly recommend. 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:58.560 Well, there's a feeling in going to the bathroom in 0:03:58.600 --> 0:04:01.040 a public place that I love, picularly fair dinner with 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:04.200 someone and you go to the bathroom or are left 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:07.080 at the table frankly, Yeah, there's this thing that happens. 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:09.760 There's this moment when you're no longer wee but I 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:16.000 it's very odd. It's like, well, well, similar to maybe 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:20.760 there's a better example is when when do you Okay, 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:22.800 if you're with someone on the street and say goodbye, 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:25.360 Imagine if I was about to say, I'm not and 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:30.000 then you walk the same direction in as hell. Okay, okay, 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:32.960 if you're not folks, we're not going there. We only 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:38.320 go to sights unseen. We are frontiersmen. Yes, So not 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:40.520 that I was going to going to say. The moment 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:42.840 when you're facial expression and you can watch it on 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:44.720 other people and it's awkward. Okay, if you watch two 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:47.640 people say goodbye, the moment that the facial expression goes 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:51.920 from the goodbye facial expressions of kind of like here, okay, 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:54.520 here's what it is. Okay, Okay, let's get drops right. 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:57.880 It can't be so sudden, okay, because spiritually that feels 0:04:57.960 --> 0:04:59.920 it feels spiritually impolite, even though the other person can 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:01.680 I see your face once you turn around, right. 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:03.480 You carry a smile until you turn. 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:05.800 I think you carry it on the full pivot. I 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:10.000 carry it a good. Four seconds post turn, I'm like 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:12.720 two steps away before the face is dropped. Okay, wow, 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:14.680 my utter generosity of spirit. 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:16.320 I think I I think I drop on the pivot 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:17.120 drop instantly. 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.560 I can't think I d give you like hearts you 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:20.400 get help. I don't know. 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:24.360 I am the pivot sick. 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.200 Okay, I'm I'm sick in the head and have this 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:30.480 fear almost like I guess that someone else would witness 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:34.080 my face drop and and there and things are are 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:36.360 something false there? Okay, so I continue the act. It's 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.800 kind of like that idea that they taught us, you know, 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.720 at seven, performing in shows, Okay, like you need to 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:45.880 stay in character till you're like, you know, ten feet 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:48.240 off the stage right right, don't anticipate they're about to 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:51.080 be on stage and drop your character back to your 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:52.920 asshole self when you get near to the curtain. 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:56.080 I'm guilty of that. I've seen myself in bit roles 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.600 on television shows where I see myself and I'm one 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:01.720 hundred percent not acting. No, no, it feels too embarrassing 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:04.760 to admit. But there's one particular there's one particular and 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:07.120 I actually can't believe they like kept it. I'm like, 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.680 I'm one hundred percent not aware that I'm being that 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:12.040 I'm on camera. That's so funny, Like I see myself 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:13.520 having completely dropped it. 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.640 But is it your best works? Right? 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.119 Oh, I was gonna say something about retaining the smile. 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:20.800 This just reminded me. I'll just say quickly of an anecdote. 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:24.640 John Early once told me of seeing a woman. He 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:27.799 was hanging out with some woman he knows and her 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:30.599 like new husband, and then three of them were hanging 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.800 out or something, and then she came in. Because I'm 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.680 always like the performance of domesticity, right, and like so 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.279 much of why we all carry at those patterns just 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:39.920 literally just because we want to replicate what we saw 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:42.400 on TV. Right, So it's like being like and I've 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:44.919 fallen prey to that too. I'm just like like being 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.880 the white with the cocktail tray. Right, It's like you 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:52.760 can ignore everything in your body screaming, get out, leave everyone, 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:55.880 run over the hill because of the if you just 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:58.640 perform it, you know enough, because we just we all 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:01.839 on some level thing, we're just in a movie. But 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:07.360 so he recalled seeing the woman smiling taking their empty 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:11.239 glasses or empty plates, right, turning into the kitchen to 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:14.840 return the plates, and that she had the smile lifting 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:17.840 up the plates. And then he caught her off camera, 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:21.600 so to speak, turning away, still smiling. So she was 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:22.400 completely alone. 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:23.720 That is perfect. 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:26.960 She was completely unobserved, but she retained. 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:27.760 The Smile's what I'm talking about. 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.800 That's I'm interested in that when the performance continues when 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:34.400 you're alone, because I feel myself continuing to perform alone, 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.880 right Or I think for me because I spent a 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:39.000 lot of time alone as a kid, but as an adult, 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:40.920 I tried to kind of dwarf that time as much 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:46.240 as possible. Or I it's not as I sometimes I 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:49.200 find myself being alone performing being alone of look at 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:51.720 me with my journal, oh you know, or it's like 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:54.280 me on the bed being like I'm going to read tonight. 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:57.400 Yeah no, no, no, you know, and then it's completely. 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.840 Me and my my friend. Growing up, we like we're 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:04.840 very aware of this, and as small children, we were 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.040 like we referred to it as the camera in the 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:08.440 upper left corner of the room. 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:09.600 Okay, amazing. 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.600 It was like it was like and it was like 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:14.440 it was like way we'd like almost call each other 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.920 out on like brilliant, you know, we were just very 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.960 aware of, Oh, look at us. We're twelve, and we're 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.440 look at us like prancing across the street, you know 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.440 what I mean. Like we were constantly you know, stepping 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:28.080 back and whatever. But well, I wanted to respond. I 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:32.559 was wildly writing down the word mirror, scary, mirror possessed. 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:35.839 So a couple of things. One, there's something I've realized recently. 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:37.640 I'm trying to figure out if it's mirror or if 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:40.640 it's via a camera on the phone or something. There's 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:42.720 something where if you accidentally get a delay, what are 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:43.120 you reading. 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:46.320 I'm not kidding nothing. I'm truly complex. 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.440 I decided for dramatic effact to just say it plainly, 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:50.760 let me know. 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.040 I would admit if I were like, I actually love it. 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:57.080 Okay. No, No, this is what's fascinating, Okay, because there's 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:00.160 something in your posture where it almost looks like your 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:01.640 right hand is resting on a mouse. 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.040 My right hand was resting like then. 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:06.080 My family table, on the edge of the table. No, 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:10.360 this is a constant issue of I'm like picturing in 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:13.520 my mind, I'm imagining a Gmail g chat, a little 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:15.400 place you and me aren't afraid to inhabit even though 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:17.079 it's not hip anymore. 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:17.880 And it's not two thousand and eight. 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.439 Okay, yeah, but who was g chatting mere weeks ago? 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:20.920 You and me? 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:21.640 That's true. 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:23.320 Actually, that's the point I'm trying to make, is that 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:27.160 we very briefly. You're listen to you, You're ashamed, You're 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:30.360 I just I was trying to say. 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:33.600 The way the technology expires so quickly is always interesting 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.160 to me, and that g chat is just gone. 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:39.320 And so that's why I know, No, that's what's so 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:42.680 thrill because somehow you were like are you here or something? 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:45.040 You were almost like this old town like it was 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:45.719 that kind of vibe. 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:47.520 Yeah, I saw you was available on g chat, and 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:49.160 I was like, how utterly kinky. 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.520 It wasn't even on purpose, But I love chatting in 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:56.000 the corner of g chat, Like there's something like those conversations, 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.000 you know, in the absence of real space. Real space 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:01.840 is to inhabit any more. All we have is windows, right, 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:03.440 and so it's sort of like, what does it feel 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:06.079 like to be inside? I've always felt like dming in 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:08.880 Twitter doesn't feel like a safe mode of communication because 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.520 what it feels like to me is there's this huge, massive, 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:15.080 public kind of place, and then there's a small blue curtain, okay, 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:18.360 dark Twitter blue curtain, terrifying, and you slip behind that 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:21.400 curtain to chat with someone. At any second it could 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:24.480 be exposed to the entirety of the world. That's how 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:25.080 it feels to me. 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.280 I'm always afraid I'm gonna tweet like a photo of 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:31.320 my vagina. Yeah, yeah, Like somehow it does feel like 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:35.080 some desperately personal thought or criticism of a public figure 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:38.160 that you're dming is gonna slip into the youth. 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:41.240 Cousin Rachel would do this thing. That's like I think 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:43.440 I forget what she called it, you know, twitter rouletta. 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:46.360 It wasn't that, but it was it was something like that. 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:48.800 It was like it was like she would type in 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:52.320 like a crazy like tweet or something okay, and just 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.880 like hold it up like almost like that there's nothing 0:10:54.960 --> 0:11:00.360 between you know, right, this tweet going out and extent 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:04.040 like just to terrify you like to go on the edge. Yeah, 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.640 that's it's really scary. It's a dangerous game. But wait, 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:11.960 g chat feels pretty safe to me and but cozy 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:12.640 for some reason. 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.720 It's that funny there. There's nothing tactle about the internet. 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.679 We can't actually feel it, and yet somehow that still 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:24.920 becomes translated where Google chat it feels safer, you know, 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:26.120 it feels more intimate. 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.760 Completely. Well, here's a huge question. Okay, that that no 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:29.840 one's amused by but me. 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:33.720 Ooh, someone's at my door, like mister post Is it 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:35.480 the milkman or the postman? 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:37.000 Either way, it's a man. 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.800 The man. Wait, sorry, what was he just saying? 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:43.960 Because I had something for us? 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:44.880 You were saying g chat. 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.319 Oh yeah, here's a big question. Okay, no one's interested 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:49.880 but me, but I think you will be in a 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:53.440 certain sub section of our listener. What do you imagine 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:55.960 the back of a web browser window to look like? 0:11:56.720 --> 0:12:00.240 Ooh uh a box? 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.160 Okay, so like web browsers right, like you know you 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.360 have multiple windows open. Let's just say, right, has the 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:07.200 mailman left? I see fear in your eye? 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:08.040 Fear in my eyes? 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:09.559 Yeah, you don't want an air it seeing, you know, 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:13.200 with your recording equipment. Again, so self conscious about being 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:19.200 a terrestrial radio broadcaster, can't believe so every window right 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:23.240 is you know, we can move windows so in front 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:24.480 of each other, in the back of each other, so 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:26.400 we have a sense of them in space, right, Like 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:29.000 we have a sense of them behind in front. Whenever 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:31.480 go behind a web browser in your mind, what does 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.680 it look like? To me? It looks like, no, it 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:38.120 doesn't exist anywhere, because it's a two dimensional thing of pixels. Right. 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.600 There's an implied to me. The assumption is that, so 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:42.839 you know, the top of a browser or the zoom 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.960 window or anything is sort of like silvery gray, right, 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:47.880 So I just imagine it's kind of like, you know, 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:50.720 a plain silvery gray back there, like it's just on 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:53.439 the back and maybe a little serial number in the center. Ka, 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:55.400 do you imagine anything. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.679 Or make sure like the back of a box, like 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:00.200 if you were just appear into an empty box. Like 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.400 what we're seeing is kind of this projection on the 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:05.319 front of the box, not brown. I picture a navy. 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.400 And you give it dimension. It's not like just a 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:11.040 I give it how thick? How thick is a window? 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.520 I actually think it goes pretty far back. I think 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:15.520 like the back of the of the browser window is 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.600 like a hallway. To me, it's like peering down a hallway. 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:21.480 This is big fucking news. And this is why I 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.360 congratulate myself for posing this question. 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:25.400 I love that question. 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:28.480 Okay, wait, so like let's just say, okay, you open 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:31.120 Oh my god, I can't even imagine. 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:36.280 The architecture of the Internet is something that undiscussed, Yeah, undiscussed. 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.160 And yet it's where we spend all our time. 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:41.160 And has the use of words like web, the metaphors 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:43.560 right that this is a question of language, metaphor and 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:50.040 fuko okay, okay, it is you know, the world Wide Web. Okay. 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.400 The web has a kind of like any direction, right, Yeah, 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:55.960 you hit a link and you shot off somewhere. Is 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:57.040 there an organization? 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:57.560 Is it? 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:02.280 So when you say a wholeway behind a Gmail window, 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:03.360 what is there. 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:06.319 In the hallway? Like I think a file cabinet, like 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:07.959 you know, like a file cabin like the you open 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:09.800 it up and it's like all that empty space. 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:11.720 It's empty behind it. It's not filled with your other 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:12.880 browser windows in your mind. 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:14.680 No, it's empty, every single one. 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:18.000 This is fascinating every well, the back of a box, 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:19.160 right okay, okay. 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:20.640 Like the I think a file cabinet is almost good, 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:23.560 Like you're pulling out and file there's the screen, but 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.360 then you look behind it and it's. 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.120 Just and then let's just say you decide to open 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:31.040 another window. Is that a new file? Yeah, like that's 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:34.040 a new thing, because I feel like I experience it 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.880 pretty much as like a pretty flat piece of paper. 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.680 But I give it the the tactile quality that they 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:44.000 give us on the edges of the thing. I guess 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:45.760 it's like almost like I see the browser window like 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:49.720 a little flat screen TV. I'm not proud, Okay, Like 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.280 I've thought, how could my relationship to the Internet change 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.800 if I chose to imagine that on the back side 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:59.880 of every browser window was a phleopard, a furry back 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:02.920 because I do. Here's what's hard about coming to work, 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:05.160 so to speak, even when it's you know, from your 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:05.560 own bed. 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:06.680 Yeah, here's what out like. 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:09.400 Cold laptop in the mornings. 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:11.640 You mean, just the chill of a cold metal of 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:14.240 a laptop. I once saw a lizard lounging on my laptop, 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:18.600 and in the dead of summer, going into my bedroom, 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.320 my laptop is next to my bed. There was a lizard, wow, 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.520 lounging on It was actually exquisite. It's like, that's my 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:27.520 my dream of Los Angeles as a kind of you know, 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:32.400 airplanes and helicopters and lizards and palm trees and lipstick 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:35.240 and an abandoned high hill on the Cornna sunset and 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:38.040 vine you know my kind of like that's like for me, 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:40.160 the romance of la is like a city in the 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:44.200 desert where a lizard comes into your house. Yes, and 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:45.840 it's just like seeking comfort. 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:46.640 How big was it? 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:48.520 Was it like a little like it was very adorable. 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:51.280 I mean it must have been five inches tail included tail. 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:52.720 Well no, let's say, well, it's. 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.720 Always a question, you know, is the or not? Because 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.120 when you if you were to stand up, you know. 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:01.840 Do you ever think about if we had tails? Yes, 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:02.800 like proper. 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:06.560 Tails, like not a horse's tail, which is a horse's tail? 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:09.080 And I apologize to my rich it's hair from the start. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.800 There's no nub there. It's not five inches of a 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:16.040 hard tail covered in hair, right, because you get up 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:20.400 some animals like that's some can question for goes longer 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.600 than the than the vertebrates. 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:26.680 By the way, can you believe a horse's tail? No, 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.280 the main is shocking, like like the sexuality of horses, 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.120 right is something we all know about and that horses 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:34.680 are hot and like and all of that. 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:36.960 Well, they also have those butt plugs that have the 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.200 horses like you can you can wear a horse's tail, 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:40.920 but it is. 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:44.640 Like the just dramatic sexuality of the horse. It's so 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:47.000 over the top o the what is it? 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:47.720 Is it the legs? 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:49.760 For me, it's the ass and the tail. 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:54.680 Well, I think the fact that I think, I think. 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:56.120 It's the human ass. 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:59.840 But the tail of folks. Okay, well, this is like 0:16:59.880 --> 0:17:02.080 the problem with like is it a ring of tans? 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:06.120 One of the ones with those really like red like 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:12.879 red bulbous a is okay, they're like there their butts 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:17.240 like look like pain. Like their butts look so much 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:21.400 like pain that you gasp at them. And I actually think 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:24.480 this is one of the unfortunate reasons that sometimes people 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:28.919 will gasp at, you know, a perceived deformity or something 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:31.880 or or you know, injury or something. Right, So if 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:35.920 someone has a crazy burn on their face or scars, 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:39.040 maybe you know, would be rude to gasp in horror 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:41.919 and clutch your own body, right, But I wonder if 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:45.920 it comes from like if an injury or a scarring 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:48.639 reveals the way that it the. 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.359 Imagined pain went down, the imagined pain. 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:53.480 It's like, I mean, it's that classic thing where it's 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:56.600 like people think that the person's scar still hurts or something, 0:17:56.680 --> 0:18:00.640 you know, they touch them gently or like people like right, 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.439 and it's like, my scars are scars, like I feel nothing. 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:07.359 You know, please don't gas as if in generously and 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.359 your your empathy for the pain this witnessed. But I wonder, 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:12.520 I don't know what I'm trying to do. Cut slack. 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:13.960 I'm trying to cut slack for the room. 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:16.560 I'm actually horrified that I got a scar on my 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:19.520 knee this summer lifting myself out of a swimming pool. 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:22.960 Scraped what I thought was a harmless scrape. Let's see, 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:28.040