1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is johnnys Is Sam your og Okay Storytime 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:03,559 Speaker 1: podcast hosts. 3 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up. 4 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 5 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show alive. I found 6 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 3: my father's secret messages. I told them to come clean. 7 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: Secret message, secret message. Perfect grown up. 8 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:22,759 Speaker 3: I've female twenty seven, always had this perfect family life, 9 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 3: happy mother and father and three kids. Both my parents 10 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 3: worked very hard and we all had a loving, stable upbringing. 11 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from other other and if 12 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 3: you want to spend your own stories, go to the 13 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 3: r Slashowkay Storytime separate it. So, my father has always 14 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 3: worked full time and done over time to help us 15 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 3: get by. When my siblings and I were kids, my 16 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 3: mother worked part time and my father was still learning English, 17 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 3: so he was working lower paying jobs. This meant my 18 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 3: mom took on all the domestic admin from the mortgage 19 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 3: to the cars, finances, pensions, everything. My dad learned English properly, 20 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 3: got a higher paying job, and me and my siblings 21 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,279 Speaker 3: grew up. My mom went back to working full time, 22 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 3: but my dad never learned to do any of the 23 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 3: admin stuff that's annoying. He also never cooks, cleans, or 24 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 3: does anything around the house without being asked multiple times. 25 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 3: My mother is amazing and she has taken on the 26 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 3: weight of the entire family herself. But as I've grown up, 27 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 3: I've resented my dad more and more for not helping 28 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:21,839 Speaker 3: and supporting her with everything. For the past couple of months, 29 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 3: I've been a little suspicious of my dad. It started 30 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 3: when a colleague at work asked if he could give 31 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 3: lifts to their daughter to work. He told us he's 32 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 3: been giving them a lift and it turns out it's 33 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 3: a girl in her twenties. Let's call her Hannah. Uh oh. 34 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 3: My mom didn't like it and told him to think 35 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,279 Speaker 3: of what people would think if they saw him driving 36 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,559 Speaker 3: around with a young girl in his car. My parents 37 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 3: are both in their fifties. They had a few arguments 38 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 3: about this, and during this time I snooped through my 39 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 3: dad's work phone. I found Hannah, and it didn't seem 40 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 3: hugely inappropriate apart from the fact that she was making 41 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 3: him smoothies for breakfast. 42 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: Guilty what she put in those? 43 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 2: Those are illegal smoothies. It probably put protein powder in 44 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 2: those smoothies. Oh. 45 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 3: Eventually, I think he stopped giving her lips because of 46 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 3: what my mom said. I checked his phone a few 47 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,959 Speaker 3: times after that and found nothing. The last couple of weeks, 48 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 3: I've been suspicious again because when going out for his 49 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,399 Speaker 3: daily walk at night. This is normal for him. He's 50 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 3: been coming back in to get his work phone, saying 51 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 3: he forgot it and needs to take it in case 52 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 3: his personal phone runs out of battery. He's got two phones, suspicious. 53 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 3: That was a red flag for me. I knew I 54 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 3: had to check his phone again. Oh pie, is you 55 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 3: should just keep the phone at this point, right, You're 56 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 3: checking out so much, so much. This weekend, I found 57 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 3: his phone in the bathroom and I checked it. No 58 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 3: messages from that girl, but there was a message from 59 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 3: a woman, let's call her Elena. The texts were definitely 60 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 3: romantic and spicy related, but didn't indicate whether anything physical 61 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 3: had happened or not. 62 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 2: Oh no, uh oh oh, Who's Elena? 63 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:02,239 Speaker 1: Who is she? 64 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 3: I then saw he had been calling her late at 65 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 3: night while on his walks during work hours, and video calling. 66 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,799 Speaker 3: I was crushed. I knew what this was. I took 67 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 3: photos of everything. I couldn't sleep that night and cried 68 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 3: more than I have ever before. I'm still in shock now. 69 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 3: I knew my mom needed to know, but didn't know 70 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 3: how to approach anything. I needed to know if something 71 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 3: physical had already happened, so I snooped again. I went 72 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 3: into his recently deleted messages and found two conversations, one 73 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 3: with Elena and one with Hannah. Turns out he's still 74 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 3: giving her lifts to and from work. The messages seemed 75 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 3: a little bit thirty and he was calling her pet names. 76 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 3: You no, I don't want to know bad, But it 77 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 3: wasn't anywhere near as bad as what I was about 78 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 3: to read an Elena's conversation. All I will say is 79 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 3: that it confirmed to me one one hundred percent that 80 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 3: they have been seeing each other at least since August 81 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 3: twenty twenty four, and that they have definitely had spicy sleep. 82 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 3: It was absolutely horrible. I took photos of everything I found, 83 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 3: and after hours of panicking trying to figure out what 84 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 3: to do, I decided to confront him. He acted as 85 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 3: if he had no idea at first. Then when I 86 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 3: said I Lena's name and quoted some of the messages 87 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 3: he sent her, he knew this was real. He said, 88 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 3: let's go for a drive so your mother doesn't get nervous. 89 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 2: Oh that's honest. 90 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: That is scary. 91 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 3: It's like the drive that Christopher walk and takes John 92 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 3: to turn on in Severance. 93 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, irving, Irving Bert right, scary, scary. 94 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 3: I was shaking so much, and as soon as we 95 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 3: got in the car, I couldn't hold back. 96 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 2: I shouted and screamed and cried. 97 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,720 Speaker 3: And told him he's ruined everything. He kept saying they 98 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 3: were just stupid messages. Nothing happened, I told them, and 99 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:49,840 Speaker 3: I'm not stupid and I know what those texts mean. 100 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 3: And he just kept on denying having done anything more 101 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,720 Speaker 3: than send stupid texts, that they were jokes. For the record, 102 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 3: there is no way I have misinterpreted those texts. 103 00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 2: They're very clear. 104 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 3: He's not the person I thought he was, and I 105 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 3: feel like everything has been alive. I said, I've lost 106 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 3: all respect for him, and I could tell that really 107 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 3: hurt him. In that moment, I didn't care at all. 108 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 3: I wasn't even thinking. I was just saying everything that 109 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,839 Speaker 3: came out. I was recording on my phone the whole time, though, 110 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 3: because I knew i'd forget it later out of anger 111 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 3: and sadness. I told him he has to tell my 112 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 3: mom everything he said about the text, and I said, 113 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 3: I don't know what. 114 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 2: The truth is. Just tell her the whole truth. 115 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 3: He doesn't know. I took photos of everything I found. 116 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaker 3: He was very scared at this point, saying about how 117 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,799 Speaker 3: upset she's gonna be, and he has to think about 118 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 3: our family. Oh, now you have to think about their family. 119 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, you kind of already crossed that line, bud. Maybe 120 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: you should have thought about your family before. 121 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 2: You're cheated on your wife. Maybe this made me even angrier. 122 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 3: I told him he has one day to do it, 123 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,159 Speaker 3: otherwise I'm telling her, oh man. I spent the whole 124 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 3: day at home yesterday waiting for him to tell her 125 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 3: so I could be there afterward for my mom. He 126 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 3: couldn't find the right time, he said, and I told 127 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 3: him there would never be a right time to say 128 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 3: something like this. He was quiet and daydreaming the whole day. 129 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 3: My mom kept asking if he was okay and if 130 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,280 Speaker 3: he felt ill. I heard him say that he has 131 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 3: a stomach ache and a headache and just doesn't feel right. 132 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 3: My poor mom made him herbal tea and took him 133 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 3: upstairs so they could lie in bed and he could rest. 134 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 1: Oh. Oh, no, he doesn't deserve this woman. 135 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,840 Speaker 2: This is the right time. I don't know. I thought 136 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 2: he was waiting. He's a coward. He's a coward. 137 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: He doesn't want to own up to his mistakes. To 138 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: be fair, he did look awful the whole day. I 139 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,479 Speaker 1: started feeling a bit guilty for being so hard on him, 140 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: but then I reread the messages with Elena and all 141 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: of my guilt was gone again. This was at eleven 142 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: pm last night. I told him it was too late 143 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: as my mom was going to bed, so I said 144 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: he has to do it today after work, and if 145 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 1: he doesn't, then. 146 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 3: I'm going to tell her. I just don't know if 147 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 3: I really have been too hard on him or not. 148 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 2: Who cares, he's a cheeter. 149 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never dealt with anything like this before, so 150 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 3: I have no idea what to do. I just did 151 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 3: what was natural to me because I knew this had 152 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,039 Speaker 3: to stop and my mom had to know. Am I 153 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,239 Speaker 3: the A hole? And there are some comments and an update? 154 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 2: But what say you? I say, no, not the a hole, 155 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 2: not the a hole at all. 156 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. 157 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is definitely like like we've said. It's like 158 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: if you're not hardened him like this, nothing's ever gonna 159 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: come from it. Yeah. 160 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 3: I mean just the fact that you, like, you know, 161 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 3: you said, hey, you need to tell mom and he 162 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 3: still hasn't done it. You might need to be a 163 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 3: little harder on him, Yeah, hard Yeah, because clearly he's 164 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 3: not scared enough by your threats. So you need to 165 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 3: either follow through and tell your mom or say, like 166 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 3: you know, really needle into him exactly. Comment one says, 167 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 3: not the a hole, but get up early and tell 168 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 3: your mom yourself tomorrow. You can't keep giving him chances 169 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,360 Speaker 3: and he will do nothing. He's blown away and tells 170 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 3: her you told him to come clean, but he's refused. 171 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 3: That you've discovered he's cheating with both Elena and Hannah, 172 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 3: and that you have proof he's actually sleeping with Elena, 173 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 3: that he keeps trying to lie and downplay it. But 174 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 3: you've seen all his texts, and the one needs to 175 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 3: that him being ill yesterday was him refusing to tell 176 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 3: you and hoping I would betray you by keeping quiet. 177 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 3: That it turns out he never stopped driving Hannah and 178 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 3: he's admitted it. But you far more proof with Elena 179 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 3: and that he phones her on long walks every night 180 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 3: and during work, and it's also when they possibly meet 181 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 3: up to have spicy sleep at night and then basically 182 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 3: just tell him everything that's going on. Ope, he responds, 183 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 3: I've considered this before I confronted my dad, but a 184 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 3: friend told me it should be his responsibility to tell her, 185 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 3: not mine. It should be but if he doesn't, unfortunately, 186 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 3: it does fall to you, right So I told him 187 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,559 Speaker 3: he has to do it. I did say last night 188 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 3: that if he doesn't do it today that I'm telling her. 189 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 3: I do think you're right about not giving him chances. 190 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,680 Speaker 3: I hate that he's even had this long. 191 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 2: Honestly. 192 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,959 Speaker 3: The only reason I'm giving him another chance is because 193 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 3: my siblings were going up and down the stairs yesterday, 194 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 3: so there wasn't any privacy. I'll be the same. It'll 195 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 3: be the same today, though, so I'm going to try 196 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 3: and keep them upstairs. Well, they're downstairs. Thank you so 197 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 3: much for your reply. 198 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 2: Comment two. 199 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:58,839 Speaker 1: What is his plan? 200 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 3: Is he going to keep seeing her? Opie says, sorry, 201 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 3: I forgot to mention. He told me yesterday that he 202 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 3: deleted her contact and everything, and that when he goes 203 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 3: back to work today he was going to talk to 204 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 3: her to say to never talk to him again. He 205 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 3: said they started becoming friendly because they have the same 206 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 3: first language and she doesn't speak English very well, so 207 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 3: we had to translate for her sometimes. He said he 208 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 3: was stupid and joked around with her and someone else, 209 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 3: but it was nothing more than that. So in his eyes, 210 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 3: it started with needing to translate and escalated to other 211 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 3: favors and jokes that got out of hand, but was 212 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 3: never more than that. 213 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: But we already know it was. Yeah, he's still lying, right, 214 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 1: it's pretty safe to assume that something's happened when she's 215 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: he's showing up at her place at night. 216 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 217 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 3: And also, like Opie says, the text kind of confirmed 218 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 3: that they had a physical relationship and the fact that 219 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 3: he is still lying is just ridiculous. 220 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's it's not that hard for jokes to 221 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: not get out of hand. 222 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, just stop stop joking like that man exactly. 223 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 3: That's how they know each other and how he started 224 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 3: to translate for her. And there is an update. 225 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 1: Oh boy, let's. 226 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 2: Dive right into it because I have the same advice. Yeah, 227 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 2: nothing's gonna change. 228 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 3: My dad called me around lunchtime and said he's really 229 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,679 Speaker 3: not doing good. He said he can't concentrate on anything 230 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 3: and hasn't slept. I told him that's normal, and neither 231 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 3: can I. I reiterated that it has to be today, 232 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,199 Speaker 3: and he said he's going to try and go out 233 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 3: with her. So it's away from my siblings. I said, 234 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,719 Speaker 3: I can try to keep them upstairs and they can 235 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 3: talk downstairs, or I can take them out somewhere. Probably 236 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 3: take them out somewhere. Yeah, that's a good idea, given 237 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,559 Speaker 3: that there might be yelling. I got home around twenty 238 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 3: minutes ago. Dad's not home yet, but Mom is, and she' 239 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 3: said the worst day. She starts a new job tomorrow 240 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 3: and bought a laptop for it on the weekend. The 241 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,679 Speaker 3: laptop hasn't been working, so she spent the whole day 242 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 3: on the phone with customer service and we'll have to 243 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 3: return it and pick a new one up tomorrow. 244 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 2: She said. 245 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 3: She's so stressed and I'm so worried about what's to come. 246 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 3: Update two. It happened yesterday. Finally I texted my dad 247 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 3: saying Mom was going out to return the laptop so 248 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 3: he could go with her. The place was like ten 249 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 3: minutes away. My dad came home and they went out 250 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 3: and took over an hour. I texted my mom to 251 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 3: ask if everything was okay, and she said yes. When 252 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 3: they came home, they seemed okay. I hugged my mom 253 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 3: and she cried. She said she's sad about the three 254 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 3: messages my dad sent, but she'll get over them. She 255 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 3: just wanted to see them, and he's deleted them. 256 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 2: So she can't. Yeah. Three three is he lying? Yeah again? 257 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 2: Is he lying again? Yeah? 258 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: I think I mean as soon as he said that, 259 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 1: like the he deleted the messages. Yeah, you could think that, 260 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 1: or he could say that it's because he wants to 261 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: end things. But part of it is so that he 262 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: doesn't have to show her exactly exactly. 263 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 2: It's like I don't want the proof. 264 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, she said, she just wanted to know if it 265 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 3: had been more than messaging, although we promised it hadn't been. 266 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 3: I told her I took photos of everything I found, 267 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 3: so I would show her everything if she wanted to 268 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 3: see it. She said yes. So I said to my dad, 269 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 3: you told mom the whole truth, didn't you. 270 00:11:59,280 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 2: He said yeah. 271 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 3: I said, okay, because I took photos of everything, and 272 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,719 Speaker 3: I'm going to show her now, so there'll be. 273 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 2: No surprises, will there. He said no. 274 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 3: We went upstairs and my dad went out for a walk. 275 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 3: The thing is, my dad didn't know I had taken 276 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 3: photos of everything, and he doesn't know that deleted messages 277 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 3: go to the cycleman and stay for thirty days, so 278 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 3: he has no idea I knew about all of those. 279 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 3: First of all, I showed my mom the messages with 280 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 3: Hannah that had been deleted. 281 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 2: She was in shock. 282 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 3: She said he's a liar, and she couldn't understand why. 283 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 3: I told her it doesn't seem like anything was going 284 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 3: on with Hannah, but he was definitely being flirtatious, and 285 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 3: she was so angry. I also showed her a few 286 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 3: one off messages I found with other people from work. 287 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 3: Oh my god, so not just Hannah, not just Elena, 288 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 3: but like other people, multiple multiple. 289 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: People at work, because he did say like he started 290 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,559 Speaker 1: talking to her and someone else about inappropriate jokes. 291 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 292 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 3: Then I showed her the first three messages with Elenna. 293 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 3: Those were the ones my dad had forgotten to delete. 294 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 3: So I saw those first, and that's what made me 295 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 3: keep digging to find everything else which had been deleted. 296 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,440 Speaker 3: That's all my dad thought I had seen, and that's 297 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 3: all he had confessed to my mom just with those, 298 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 3: she was already disgusted. Then I prepared her for what 299 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 3: she was about to see. I checked multiple times that 300 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 3: she definitely wanted to see everything, and I told her 301 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 3: she wouldn't be able to unsee them after, but she 302 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 3: was sure. When she saw the extent of the messages, 303 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 3: she was so so, so upset, angry everything at once. 304 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 3: I showed her the dates and times he was messaging 305 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 3: her and how it's usually when he goes out for walks. 306 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 3: I showed her the times he had called her and 307 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 3: video called her, and she wanted to know when the 308 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 3: first ever call her message was sent. I showed her 309 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 3: August twenty twenty four and told her I don't think 310 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 3: that would have been the first thing, as it was 311 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 3: a video call. She couldn't believe it, she kept saying, 312 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 3: almost a year. He's been lying for almost a year. 313 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 3: At this point, she knew everything I knew, and we 314 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 3: heard my dad come home. He came upstairs and my 315 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 3: mom straight away confronted him and called him a liar 316 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 3: and a cheat. Again, he denied it, and my mom 317 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,959 Speaker 3: took my phone out of my hand and showed it 318 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 3: to him his face didn't change, but he was staring 319 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 3: at my mom. 320 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:10,560 Speaker 2: He was completely frozen, and then said, it's not what 321 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,680 Speaker 2: it looks like. What does it look like? I don't 322 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 2: buy it. 323 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 1: What does it look like? Buddy? Yeah, so what do 324 00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: you mean? It's not what it looks like? 325 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 3: Right then, my mom read through the messages out loud, 326 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 3: and he was just staring. 327 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 2: He had tears in his eyes. 328 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 3: My mom asked him when they had spicy sleep and where, 329 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 3: and he kept saying they hadn't, over and over again. 330 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 3: Then my dad asked if they could speak alone, and 331 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 3: I left. I went downstairs, where my sisters were panicking 332 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 3: because they had overheard parts of the fight and were 333 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,560 Speaker 3: very scared about what was going on. I didn't tell 334 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 3: them because I said my mom has to say it. 335 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 3: They were angry at me, but I told them I 336 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 3: can't betray Mom. While I was downstairs, my dad told 337 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 3: my mom everything. Later on, my mom told me that 338 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 3: as my dad works with Elena, apparently they have opposing shifts, 339 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 3: meaning that when he's at work, she's at home, and 340 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 3: she lives very close to where they were. 341 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 2: Oh no, ohang. 342 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 3: He has been leaving work during the day to go 343 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 3: to her house. And have spicy sleep. 344 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 2: This man sticks. 345 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 346 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 2: Just the extent of the betrayal is bottomless. 347 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow, Like he still lied more about like how 348 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: he started then too, because how it started honestly, like 349 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 1: it sounded innocent at first with just the talking, yeah 350 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: and like that stuff. But obviously, you know, not innocent 351 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: going into cheating. But if they have opposing shifts, how 352 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: are they talking at work so much? 353 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 2: Exactly? 354 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 3: She was absolutely devastated, and she said that she can 355 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 3: say with one hundred percent certainty that in almost thirty 356 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 3: years they've been married that she has never done anything 357 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 3: inappropriate with another person. I feel so bad for my mom. 358 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 3: The hardest thing is that my whole life, my mom 359 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,120 Speaker 3: has always said that the most important thing to her 360 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 3: is the family unit and having everyone together. Her parents 361 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 3: divorced when she was a teenager because of my grandfather. 362 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 3: There's infidelity to my grandmother. Nopen No, that's tragic, oh man, tragic, 363 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 3: and my mom has always said it was the worst 364 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 3: thing that ever happened to her. She was never told 365 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 3: the extent of the infidelity, and as a result of 366 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 3: growing up without her father for most of our teenage 367 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 3: years and my grandmother refusing to ever speak badly of 368 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 3: him to her children. She grew up idolizing him, which 369 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 3: all came crashing down when she became an adult and 370 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 3: realized what he actually was like and how he treated 371 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 3: my grandmother. This has been very traumatic for my mom 372 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 3: and she's never really gotten over it. And now she's 373 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 3: got this, she's got to relive that trauma with her 374 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 3: own husband. 375 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean, so many people like, excuse me, 376 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: so many people like who have divorced parents are always 377 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: scared that that's gonna happen to them, And so the 378 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: fact that this is happening in the same exact way 379 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: is like, I mean, I don't know if they're gonna 380 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: get divorced yet, but like you can assume. 381 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 2: Can assume. Gosh. 382 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 3: At Christmas, she told me that because of everything that 383 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 3: happened with her parents, she became obsessed with having the 384 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 3: perfect family unit and always craved it all. She said 385 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 3: that this craving is what has turned her into the 386 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 3: woman that accepts anything her husband does, because the most 387 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 3: important thing is that she keeps the family together. 388 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 2: Oh wow. 389 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 3: I told her yesterday that this stuck in my mind 390 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,719 Speaker 3: and since finding this out, I couldn't stop thinking about that. 391 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 3: I told her that she needs to take time for 392 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 3: herself and decide what she really wants, and that this 393 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 3: is a completely valid reason to separate if she wants to. 394 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,400 Speaker 3: She said, she needs to think. I asked my mom 395 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 3: if I did the right thing by forcing my dad 396 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 3: to tell her, and she said yes and thanked me 397 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,880 Speaker 3: for it. She said she's so glad she found out 398 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 3: and that she knows the extent of it. She said 399 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 3: it would have been much worse if she'd believe that 400 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 3: it was just those three messages and then later found 401 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 3: out it was more than that and she'd believed him. 402 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 3: But you can believe us that we have full episodes 403 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 3: of stories just like this. If you get to Spotify, 404 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 3: Apple podcast or iHeartRadio and. 405 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,239 Speaker 2: Search a book a storytime. Wow, you gotta believe it. 406 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,479 Speaker 2: Got to believe it. But there is a little bit 407 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 2: left to this story. Man, oh man, Wow, breaking, heart breaking. 408 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,360 Speaker 2: I mean, just just having having to relive this, it's crazy. 409 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 2: Probably her biggest fear coming true. Yeah, I mean wow. Yeah. 410 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 1: Hopefully she doesn't just push through this to have the 411 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:15,919 Speaker 1: family unit, you know. 412 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like she kind of knows herself a 413 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 3: little bit better. Now and is realizing, you know, why 414 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 3: she put up with behavior like this, right, so hopefully 415 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 3: she realizes, oh, I shouldn't continue to put up with 416 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 3: behavior like this, and I should leave this relationship. 417 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 2: But clearly isn't working. 418 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 1: Exactly, and there's still possibly ways to be a family, 419 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,440 Speaker 1: like yeah, the whole family is broken up or anything, 420 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: you know, Like, obviously this is gonna be a tough 421 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,479 Speaker 1: time and gonna take a lot of time to you know, 422 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 1: move on from. But you could still have a good 423 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: family unit, just. 424 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 2: Maybe not in the way you expect it. 425 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, just in a non traditional sense, right, But there 426 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 3: is a little bit left to this story. Thank you 427 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 3: everyone for your help and support with this for my 428 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,959 Speaker 3: own senate, it really helped me to hear other people's 429 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,920 Speaker 3: opinions while I was dealing with this basically on my own. 430 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 3: Although it has been an absolutely horrible forty eight hours, 431 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 3: now that it's out in the open, it does feel 432 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,880 Speaker 3: like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm 433 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 3: finally out of this personal heck I've been in. My 434 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 3: poor mom and sisters are at the first stages of 435 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 3: dealing with this, but now I can help them as 436 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 3: much as possible. Because I'm a few days ahead of 437 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 3: them in this process. Thank you everyone, And that is 438 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 3: the end of that story. Wow youch yikes, dude, I mean, 439 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 3: good on Ope again for kind of having to take 440 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 3: all of us on and taking it on with a 441 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 3: lot of grace and immediately making sure that their mother 442 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 3: found out. 443 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. Good for not keeping the secret too. 444 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 2: Very good. 445 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's just about now. It's about you know, 446 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 3: being there as a support system for your mom, right, 447 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,879 Speaker 3: but also you know, making sure that you're kind to 448 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 3: yourself because this also affected you. Right, This is your 449 00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,919 Speaker 3: family and your dad who has betrayed not only your 450 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 3: mom but also you your sibling. 451 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. 452 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, tough man, tough time. But that is the end 453 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 3: of that story. So we're gonna jump into the next one. 454 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 2: Okay. 455 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: I discovered that we have another sibling, and the guilt 456 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: is eating me alive. A long last sibling. 457 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, what do you do? 458 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: This is actually from an okay storytime separated it. What 459 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 1: of our fans sibling? 460 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,439 Speaker 2: Dude? That's crazy. 461 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to make this as short and sweet 462 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,840 Speaker 1: as possible. I thirty three female have a family that 463 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 1: has always been close mother fifty four, father fifty five, 464 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: and me and two younger siblings, Lee twenty nine female 465 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: and Anthony twenty six male. By the way, that comes 466 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 1: from a success primary And if you want to submit 467 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: me your own stories, go to the art slush Okay, storytime, 468 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 1: supredit join us. So, being the oldest, I've always been 469 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: the protector and tried to shield as much as I 470 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: could from the littles while we were younger. Our childhood 471 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 1: had some rough patches, but all in all, we all 472 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: turned out to be decent humans. Hellwell, all of us 473 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 1: have ended up getting pretty good jobs and making our 474 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,119 Speaker 1: own way. I have two great kiddos and a wonderful husband. 475 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: Anthony is engaged to a fantastic woman and they have 476 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,920 Speaker 1: a beautiful boy. Lee is an absolute unit of an aunt, 477 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 1: but is a single pringle. 478 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 2: What is unit of an ant mean? Like she's a 479 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 2: great aunt? I think so. I think that's is like 480 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 2: a unit. Yeah, she's a unit of aunt. Yeah. I 481 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 2: think that's like a praise praise word. 482 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,479 Speaker 1: I don't hear it used a lot, but I usually 483 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: only hear it used in the context of life, like 484 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,159 Speaker 1: like a group oh no, oh no, Like when you 485 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 1: say like someone's an absolute unit like three oh yeah, big, 486 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,040 Speaker 1: oh yeah, it's. 487 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 2: Just she's just just that, that's strong of an aunt. 488 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a single pringle doesn't want kids, and we're 489 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: all here for it and most importantly for each other. Now. 490 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: Last July twenty twenty four, crapkind crazy. I worked a 491 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: third shift at the same place that my sister works first, 492 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 1: so we see each other almost every morning. It was 493 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 1: about ten o'clock that evening and I got a random 494 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: message request on Facebook. 495 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 2: I saw the first couple of words. 496 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: On the notification and it seemed like the scam crappy 497 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: get so I ignored it for a minute, but once 498 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: I sat down for a break, I opened it up. 499 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: It was a message from a woman about her sister 500 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 1: who she grew up with and they were both adopted. 501 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,679 Speaker 1: The sister had found her biofamily and was attempting to 502 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: help her sister find hers. My flabbers were gasted. At first. 503 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:28,639 Speaker 1: I was like, haha, no way, but she dropped names, dates, 504 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 1: and details, and I was too convinced to ignore this anymore. 505 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,120 Speaker 1: I molded over for a while, but I messaged her 506 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: back and asked for more info. I ended up with 507 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 1: my supposed older sister's number, she would be thirty five. 508 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 1: I will now say that I kind of had a 509 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 1: precursor to this, because my mother had told me something 510 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 1: about this before, like thirteen years ago. The mom said 511 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: I was eighteen Pregger's by man that I wasn't in 512 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,479 Speaker 1: love with and not ready to be a mom. I 513 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 1: wasn't living at home and only saw my family once 514 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,040 Speaker 1: a month or so at that point, so I I 515 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 1: was keeping it to myself and trying to figure out 516 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 1: what to do. I personally knew a few very good 517 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 1: and wonderful people who were magnificent parents to children they 518 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 1: were not able to have. They only became parents because 519 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,479 Speaker 1: of the gift that someone else had given them, and 520 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,919 Speaker 1: I was ultimately prepared to do just that. I was 521 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 1: going to give my baby to someone who had their 522 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,120 Speaker 1: life together and wanted so badly to be a parent, 523 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,480 Speaker 1: where I wasn't exactly in any way ready. My mother 524 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,920 Speaker 1: quickly said, Nope, You're going. 525 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 2: To be a mama. 526 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,720 Speaker 1: After I told my parents, we were just kind of 527 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: butting heads over this for a while, and I just 528 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: couldn't understand why she couldn't see where I was coming from. 529 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,199 Speaker 2: One night, she cornered me. 530 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: After some tears were shed by me, she plainly said, 531 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 1: I have done it and I regret it. 532 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 2: You won't do the same. And that was it. That 533 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 2: was the only talk there ever was about it. I 534 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,239 Speaker 2: think this is saying this. 535 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 1: I think had a kid and was going to give 536 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,600 Speaker 1: it up, and the mom was like, just mentioned I 537 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 1: was in your place once. Yeah, yeah, because she did say, 538 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: like she just mentioned something about it. Seeing this whole story. 539 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,479 Speaker 1: This doesn't seem like she would just mention this whole story, 540 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,200 Speaker 1: you know. But that last line, Yeah, so he. 541 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 2: Had a kid or. 542 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,919 Speaker 3: Was gonna give it up until the mom gave her 543 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 3: a very ominous yeah advice. 544 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:15,200 Speaker 2: WHOA. 545 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,800 Speaker 1: I did have the internal crisis of I have another 546 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 1: sibling out there somewhere, but there would be no finding 547 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 1: out anything, considering I knew no details and the only 548 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 1: person who could provide any you wouldn't. So I kind 549 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,199 Speaker 1: of just had to file that away in the no 550 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,679 Speaker 1: touchy cabinet in my brain. But now we're gonna figure 551 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 1: some crap out. So I'm gonna say that we're close 552 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,359 Speaker 1: as siblings, but my brother and I are on the 553 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,400 Speaker 1: same brain wavelength and our sister is not. We all 554 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,159 Speaker 1: have our quirks and such a boat. We all have 555 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: a bond with one another, separately as well as collectively. 556 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 2: I knew that I had to tell them, but I couldn't. 557 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 1: I knew me and Anthony could handle this better than Leep, 558 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 1: so I talked to him and his fiance about it. 559 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: My husband was first to have his mind blown, of course, 560 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: and he was absolutely confused, but supportive and helpful to 561 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 1: say that. So Anthony, his fiance, me and Mayabi had 562 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 1: a little pow wow and decided that if we were 563 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,479 Speaker 1: going to talk to Lee about it, we needed proof first. 564 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 1: Me and le are super critical thinkers and we will 565 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 1: pick things apart in the second So if we were 566 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,879 Speaker 1: going to drop this bomb on her, we needed receipts. 567 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,680 Speaker 1: Well we got them. I DNA tested and sent her 568 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 1: one as well. That six weeks was the longest wait 569 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 1: of my life, but we finally got it. Now, this 570 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 1: was a little crazy because you see people finding half 571 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,199 Speaker 1: siblings all the time, but she was a full blooded sister. 572 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:37,399 Speaker 1: She was my mom and my dad's first child. WHOA 573 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 1: what she must have been like really young or something. 574 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: Ready made that decision to give her up right right? 575 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:49,639 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, gilt I felt was immense, gut wretching, like, 576 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: what's the catch here? Why did they let her go 577 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 1: but keep me? Just two years later? 578 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 2: Wow? 579 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 3: Two years can be like a huge could make a difference, 580 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 3: huge difference in where you are financially in life. You 581 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,239 Speaker 3: know where you were mentally, And I wonder if there 582 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 3: were any like outsider pressures. Well, I mean you have 583 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 3: here the mom trying to pressure up he into a 584 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 3: decision based off of her own life experience. But yeah, 585 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 3: probably have other people in the mom's life who were right. 586 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 2: You who I can't right of the kid? You're not 587 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 2: ready to have a child? Right right? 588 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,399 Speaker 1: That's very possible. Our newly acquired sibling is probably the 589 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: most level headed and sensible person I've ever come in 590 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,320 Speaker 1: contact with. She literally is in the state of if 591 00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 1: she doesn't want to know me, that's fine. I just 592 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,840 Speaker 1: now know who my family is, and that's fine by me. Okay, 593 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,400 Speaker 1: we all have questions and more questions, with some more questions, 594 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,719 Speaker 1: but we had a get together at our place one 595 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 1: night with dinner and no kids, and we told Lee. 596 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,120 Speaker 1: She was surprised as heck, without a doubt, but she 597 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: took it so much better than I expected, thank God, 598 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 1: But now we all know, but our parents don't know 599 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,680 Speaker 1: that we know. So our oldest sister, Beth doesn't live 600 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,920 Speaker 1: far from us and has two babes of her own. 601 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: We have talked to her through text and we are 602 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: noticing blaring similarities and it's crazy. But I am at 603 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,959 Speaker 1: such a standstill with approaching our parents about this. I 604 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,199 Speaker 1: know that this is going to tear a hole in 605 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: my mother's heart. It's been thirty five years. I do 606 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 1: not want to hurt my mother. I would love to 607 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: go and just tell her and get it off my chest, 608 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: but what is that going to do to her. Beth 609 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 1: did try to contact her first, but with no response, 610 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,120 Speaker 1: so I was next in line. But lo and behold, 611 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 1: my mother did email her back a week before the 612 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: results came back and pretty much said, yes, it's me. 613 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,920 Speaker 1: Your search is over. I hope you had a wonderful 614 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: life and I wish you the best, but please respect 615 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 1: my wishes regarding the decision that was made so long ago. 616 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,479 Speaker 1: I don't know if she's trying to keep it from us, 617 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 1: or if she's doing it because it hurts that much. 618 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:47,200 Speaker 1: I'm so conflicted now I'm being heyckled by those who 619 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 1: know about it and care. Did you have the talk yet? No? 620 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 2: When are you going to? I have no idea. 621 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,159 Speaker 1: I'm so scared of how she's going to react. But 622 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 1: I also want to meet and get to know my sister, 623 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 1: and so do lead Anthony. But I have put my 624 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 1: foot down on both of them about that. I would 625 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: not feel right going and meeting and getting to know 626 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 1: her and introducing kids and such behind my mom's back. 627 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 1: But you, guys would feel right if you just find 628 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,639 Speaker 1: more episodes of full stories just like this one. Just 629 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 1: go to II Radio, Apple Podcasts or Spotify and search. Okay, 630 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: story time, You'll feel so right, have no doubt that 631 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 1: that's the right decision. 632 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 2: To so much better, so much better. 633 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: Feeling a little sick and speak, just watch us and 634 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,160 Speaker 1: boom feel better. You're you're better. Yeah, there's a little 635 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: bit more to this story. But wow, wow, wow, I 636 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,199 Speaker 1: still want to know. I want to know the story smart, 637 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: you know, I. 638 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,880 Speaker 2: Mean, well one. 639 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,760 Speaker 3: I think my advice for op is go talk to 640 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 3: your mom, yep, regardless of what her decision is, you know, 641 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 3: regarding your your sister and the relationship that she does 642 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 3: or does not want to have with your sister, you 643 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,240 Speaker 3: are still completely allowed to have a relationship with. 644 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. 645 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 3: I think it's just like you go to your mom 646 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 3: you say, hey, I know you were reached out to, right, 647 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,800 Speaker 3: we were also reached out too, and we want to 648 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 3: have a relationship. 649 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 2: With our sister. Yeah, she can't. 650 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 3: Really tell you no, but I think that is considerate 651 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 3: to tell her that that's happening. 652 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,960 Speaker 1: Right. If she does have a problem with it, you 653 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: can just say, please respect my wishes in this decision 654 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 1: that I'm making. Yeah, right, exactly words. Yeah, Yeah, there 655 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: is a little bit more. Yes, I am concerned with 656 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 1: my dad's feelings too. I'm just not sure about all 657 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: the details of the whole situation. So I would really 658 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,240 Speaker 1: like to just one on one with my mom to 659 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 1: figure that out. Our father has never been the lovey, 660 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: emotional or super understanding father figure. He's more rough and rugged, 661 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 1: and all of us have had a heat streak in 662 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 1: us blessed to us from him. So do not think 663 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 1: I'm saying he was a bad father. He provided and 664 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,959 Speaker 1: did what he could. He had a problem with Booze 665 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: when we were young, and I'm the only one old 666 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: enough to remember the real rough times, but he got 667 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 1: his crap together and he is absolutely a wonderful pop off. 668 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 2: So any insights on this would help. 669 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 1: And I know everyone is just gonna say tell her 670 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: and get it over with, but this is a tender 671 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: situation that. 672 00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:01,000 Speaker 2: Is gnawing at me, and that is it. WHOA what 673 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 2: would we say? What should O P do? 674 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: I think I think you go to your mom and 675 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 1: you say like, hey, I don't want to pressure you 676 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,040 Speaker 1: to do anything that you don't want to do or 677 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 1: that you don't feel ready to do, right, and then 678 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: you kind of go into that like as you know, 679 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: like you received some correspondence, so did we? 680 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 2: Yeah? 681 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 3: I thought about it, and I want to have a 682 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 3: relationship with my sister mm hm. And you know, again 683 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,959 Speaker 3: that doesn't have to mean that you need to do anything, 684 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 3: but that's good. 685 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, Yeah, I think that's a good way to 686 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:33,280 Speaker 2: say it. 687 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,479 Speaker 1: Just like ease her in China, to put that pressure 688 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 1: on her and just be very honest about what you 689 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: want to do or what you are going to do. Yeah, 690 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: moving forward exactly. It's like really in asking for permission, 691 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 1: it's just letting her know that it's happening. 692 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that is the end of that story. 693 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 1: Hey, it's say, I'm your og host here bring it 694 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: back to the stories. 695 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,760 Speaker 2: But here's three minutes bads from a sponsor. 696 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: I discovered the truth about my family from an Instagram message. 697 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 3: That's the worst way to discover the truth about your family. 698 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 699 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 1: Edit. Let me clarify my title in this post. 700 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,680 Speaker 2: My mom is still my mom. 701 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: When I say she isn't my real mom, it means 702 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: that she isn't my birth mother. Sorry, if it comes 703 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: off negative, that's definitely not what I wanted it to 704 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 1: come across. 705 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:13,960 Speaker 2: House. 706 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,680 Speaker 1: She did nothing wrong, all right, starting off, Mom did 707 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 1: nothing wrong. 708 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 2: I did nothing wrong. Thing wrong. 709 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 1: Okay, let's start with some background. I was never really 710 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: clear on the details of my birth. All I knew 711 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 1: was that I was born in Dominican Republic in a 712 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: tiny clinic and lived there until I was three and 713 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,440 Speaker 1: me and my family came to America for the second time. 714 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you 715 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the art 716 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,680 Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime subreddit. They were here before I was born, 717 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 1: but went back because supposedly my dad had a job 718 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: offer back in DRM, and they went back for a 719 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 1: couple of years and came back to America when I 720 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 1: was three. 721 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: My siblings are eleven years older than me. 722 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,920 Speaker 1: I remember always complaining as a child about how there 723 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 1: were never any baby photos of me, not one. Every 724 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 1: photo I've seen. The youngest I have been was three 725 00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: or four years old. They always told me that it 726 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: was because they got tired of taking photos after the 727 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: first two kids, my brother and sister, so they barely 728 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 1: took any of me. But the photos were somewhere in storage. 729 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 1: We moved around a lot and hard to get a 730 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,960 Speaker 1: hold of it. Eventually I stopped asking, and I just 731 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 1: accepted the fact that I've never seen myself as a baby. 732 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 1: When I was twelve, I got a message on Facebook 733 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 1: from a girl claiming to be my cousin and that 734 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,640 Speaker 1: she wanted to talk to me, but not to tell 735 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,800 Speaker 1: my father because he didn't want us to talk. 736 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,239 Speaker 2: I was scared, so I ended up asking about it. 737 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 1: He told me not to speak to her like she 738 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:34,760 Speaker 1: said he would, because she was disowned after she engaged 739 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 1: in genetic copy pasting with a first cousin to be. 740 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 2: Like incest or something. 741 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 1: I think, so you're the first cousin and she's. 742 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 2: A bad influence. Eikes, Yeah, that's. 743 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,960 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, he blocked her, and my twelve year old 744 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 1: self was more worried about other things, so I didn't 745 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 1: question any further. Fast forward to now I get messages 746 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: from the same girl on Instagram. She wrote a whole 747 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,040 Speaker 1: essay in Spanish, which took me a while to understand, 748 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: fully because I don't usually read Spanish. She said that 749 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,719 Speaker 1: my father had an affair with a woman named Jackie 750 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,960 Speaker 1: when my brother and sister were around nine or ten 751 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,760 Speaker 1: years old. She got pregnant and decided to keep the baby, 752 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 1: and so came out me. I have a sister named 753 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: Gabriella and two younger brothers, each from a different dad. 754 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: At this time, my dad, my mom, and brother and 755 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 1: sister were in Dominican Republic as well. Okay, so oh 756 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,240 Speaker 1: he's in a fair baby, I guess. So that's what 757 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 1: this Instagram woman is telling us. My dad paid for 758 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: all of the expenses of my birth and was there 759 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 1: when I was born. She proceeded to show me all 760 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,040 Speaker 1: these baby photos of myself with me, with my siblings, 761 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: with my grandmother, Jackie's mom, et cetera. Wait, okay, we 762 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,440 Speaker 1: have proof, so ope's being. 763 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 3: Let me get this straight. Op was being taken care 764 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,960 Speaker 3: of by this family. Yes, bile, mom, I guess till 765 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 3: like three, I guess. 766 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,080 Speaker 1: So that is what Opie said at the very beginning, 767 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 1: was that like born in Dominican Republic, lived there until 768 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: they were three, and then yeah, then they moved to America. 769 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,440 Speaker 1: Who She said that she would always take care of 770 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: me because I was the youngest, so she was my 771 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 1: main caretaker when my mother wasn't around. She also told 772 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,920 Speaker 1: me that my mother passed away six years ago, and 773 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,360 Speaker 1: before she passed, she wanted to see me, and my 774 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,319 Speaker 1: dad said that he would take me to visit, but 775 00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,759 Speaker 1: he never did, so she passed away without being able 776 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,479 Speaker 1: to see me. Once more, I started hyperventilating. I thought 777 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: this was some sick joke and somebody was effing with me. 778 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,480 Speaker 1: She told me to ask my cousin to confirm this 779 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: and that it's true. I drove over to his house 780 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,359 Speaker 1: freaking out, and I asked him please tell me I 781 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,919 Speaker 1: was going crazy and she's just messing with my head. 782 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,840 Speaker 2: Fortunately, she was right. He told me they all knew. 783 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 1: He thought I knew. No, He said, my dad rescued 784 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,400 Speaker 1: me because my mother was poor and lived in a 785 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,399 Speaker 1: bad area with bad influences, so he wanted to give 786 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 1: me a better life. He's really close to my dad, 787 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,799 Speaker 1: and he told me to find out why he hid 788 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 1: it from me this long because it's effed up. This 789 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,560 Speaker 1: is efed up. He was smoking Devil's lettuce. This will 790 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: be more important later. So I went home and confronted 791 00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,840 Speaker 1: my mom and dad. I calmly sat down and said, 792 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,040 Speaker 1: I found things out today. I know Mom isn't my mom, 793 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 1: and I know I have another family. I know you 794 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: brought me here or rescued me or whatever when I 795 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,920 Speaker 1: was three. I know she passed away six years ago 796 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,840 Speaker 1: and asked for me, but you didn't take me to 797 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 1: go and see her. 798 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 2: Sad Yeah, yeah, tragic. 799 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, to not only find out that you've been kept 800 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,879 Speaker 3: from the knowledge of your mother and also from her mother, 801 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,399 Speaker 3: but also to know that you've been kept from her 802 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,840 Speaker 3: when she asked for you before she passed away. 803 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 2: Right right. 804 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 1: I know I'm trying to see how old how old 805 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 1: op he is right now, but we can't tell. 806 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know it seems that like. 807 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,799 Speaker 1: Years ago, Opie still would have been able to remember it, right, 808 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 1: This isn't like an eight year old. That's that's saying this. 809 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,480 Speaker 1: They stayed quiet or what seemed like forever. My dad 810 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,480 Speaker 1: spoke up. He said, so that's the story you heard, 811 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,719 Speaker 1: and I said, yes, but I need really answers. I 812 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 1: need to know why you didn't tell me. I need 813 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 1: to know the whole truth. So he gave it to me. 814 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 1: To be honest, your brother didn't like you very much. 815 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,480 Speaker 1: What that girl said was true. She was the one 816 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 1: who would take care of you when your mother wasn't present, 817 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,760 Speaker 1: which was all the time. She was a substance regular user. 818 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:19,319 Speaker 1: She basically abandoned you and left Gabby to take care 819 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,600 Speaker 1: of you while she would be out constantly doing substances, 820 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 1: drinking or whatever else she did. Lily was the one 821 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,000 Speaker 1: who babysit you the rest of the time, would take 822 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,240 Speaker 1: you to preschool and drop you back off at her house. 823 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,160 Speaker 1: I'm not sure exactly how Jackie passed away. I think 824 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 1: she was eventually unlived because of the kind of life 825 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 1: she led. Oh wow, I only took you when you 826 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,799 Speaker 1: were three, because that's when I finally gained custody of 827 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,760 Speaker 1: you after fighting for years before that. Okay, so peaceful 828 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,799 Speaker 1: was trying to get her Yeah wow, oh wow. She 829 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,280 Speaker 1: only called me to ask me for money. She only 830 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,719 Speaker 1: called about you once to say happy birthday, but it 831 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,399 Speaker 1: wasn't even your birthday that day. I was waiting until 832 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,680 Speaker 1: you turned eighteen so I could tell you. Even though 833 00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 1: Lily isn't your biological mother, she's still your mom. She 834 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,600 Speaker 1: raised you and loves you like her own. I don't 835 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,400 Speaker 1: even know what else to say. I don't know what 836 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,279 Speaker 1: to again from posting this. I'm just having a hard 837 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,279 Speaker 1: time wrapping my head around all of this. I want 838 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,200 Speaker 1: to see pictures of my real mom, Jackie. I want 839 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:14,920 Speaker 1: to know what my family is like over there. I 840 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 1: think I feel so effing out of place in my family, 841 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 1: even though I grew up with them and I love 842 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:23,200 Speaker 1: them to death. I can't recognize myself in the mirror. WHOA, 843 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:27,160 Speaker 1: So this is all whole crisis have to everybody is 844 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 1: kind of changing. 845 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think, okay, it's important for you to know, 846 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,480 Speaker 3: like really really not okay that your family all kept 847 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,239 Speaker 3: this from you for years, but you know you do 848 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,440 Speaker 3: have people that love you. 849 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:37,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. 850 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,160 Speaker 1: Absolutely, And I think it's definitely better than I was 851 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 1: expecting it. I was expecting the dad to just be 852 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,120 Speaker 1: like the bad guy. I guess if you call anyone 853 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,439 Speaker 1: the bad guys trying to get you, and you know, yeah, 854 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,360 Speaker 1: this whole time and things with like substance using and 855 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,120 Speaker 1: everything is very hard to explain to child, very hard. 856 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 1: And I feel like, you know, if you're kind of 857 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,680 Speaker 1: telling your kid like, no, you can can't meet your 858 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 1: like your biological mom or something like that, and they're 859 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,239 Speaker 1: like nine years old, it's like it might be a 860 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,719 Speaker 1: little it might be just very confusing about how to tell. 861 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think you need to wait till exactly eighteen. 862 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,640 Speaker 1: I think like some sort of teen years, like thirteen 863 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,839 Speaker 1: or fourteen, you could make a stake in not telling you. 864 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,759 Speaker 2: Absolutely right. 865 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,239 Speaker 1: So I have to go to work now, but I'm 866 00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,560 Speaker 1: gonna edit the post later tonight when I come back 867 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: to add more thing. Sorry I had to go to 868 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,239 Speaker 1: the short but this is ninety percent of what's going 869 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:26,719 Speaker 1: on right now. 870 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 2: So what do I do? How do I deal with this? 871 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,440 Speaker 1: I woke up today and I thought last night was 872 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 1: a bad nightmare. There's an edit about the Devil's Lettuce. 873 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: Things blew up. My dad smelled the Devil's lettuce and 874 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,279 Speaker 1: questioned me about it, and I wasn't thinking, so I 875 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,200 Speaker 1: mentioned how the cousin I went to talk to in 876 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,239 Speaker 1: person was smoking some on his balcony. This cousin in 877 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,799 Speaker 1: question has smoked a lot in the past, and my 878 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: parents hate it, and they've given him crap for it. 879 00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 1: One hundred percent. I apped up by not covering it up. 880 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,440 Speaker 1: So the cousin texted me this morning, blowing up at 881 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,359 Speaker 1: me because I feeled the beans, saying a bunch of 882 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,160 Speaker 1: crap leg never could fighten me again. Don't ever call 883 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 1: me or come to my house. Your generation can't be trusted. 884 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,320 Speaker 1: He's as old as my siblings and all that stuff. 885 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,759 Speaker 1: I started freaking out and apologizing I wasn't thinking. We 886 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,640 Speaker 1: talked about it, and we agreed that I would lie 887 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,520 Speaker 1: to save his butt because it was the least I 888 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:10,840 Speaker 1: could do. 889 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,359 Speaker 2: So I'm gonna say that I was smoking it and 890 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:14,200 Speaker 2: I lie. 891 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,319 Speaker 1: He texted me saying that my dad talked to him 892 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,640 Speaker 1: and he wants to hold a meeting tonight. Actually, as 893 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,320 Speaker 1: I'm typing this right now, but the meeting hasn't started. 894 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:26,120 Speaker 1: Oh wow, oh wow. No, we're not gonna take the 895 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:30,839 Speaker 1: fall for yeah, because what like, do you know how 896 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,480 Speaker 1: old the cousin is not exactly that his old as 897 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,720 Speaker 1: your siblings which are eleven years older than Ope, Okay, 898 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,839 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. And what is like twenty eight year old is. 899 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,800 Speaker 2: Trying to make you take the fall? 900 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:44,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's an adult. 901 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,080 Speaker 3: He could deal with the consequences of people getting mad 902 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:49,359 Speaker 3: at him for smoking, Like. 903 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: I feel like they would get more mad at the 904 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 1: teenager smoking instead of this adult. No, don't take the 905 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,239 Speaker 1: fall for him. It's not the least you can do. 906 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,239 Speaker 1: He's manipulating you. But we do have an update eight. 907 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 1: So it's been a long time since I had posted this, 908 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,080 Speaker 1: like three months. Basically, I've been a mess since then, 909 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,279 Speaker 1: and I don't know how to process these feelings. It's 910 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,920 Speaker 1: been three months and I haven't even fully registered the situation. 911 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,080 Speaker 1: I don't know the Devil's let us issue. I ended 912 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,200 Speaker 1: up telling my dad that I smelled like Devil's lettus 913 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:16,959 Speaker 1: because I was with friends and. 914 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:17,720 Speaker 2: They were smiling. 915 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 1: He didn't even care or focus on that at all, 916 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:23,120 Speaker 1: and everyone got off my cousin's back. Yeah, I probably 917 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 1: should have let him crash and burn, but I'm not 918 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,839 Speaker 1: like that. It was dumb and he'd getten more crap 919 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:29,960 Speaker 1: than I would, which is why I took the ball 920 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 1: for it. They didn't. It worked out, okay, I guess him. 921 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,120 Speaker 1: So those who were worried about the Devil's lettuce don't. 922 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,719 Speaker 1: My cousin also apologized for reaming me because I let 923 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,160 Speaker 1: that slip out, because he realized that I was going 924 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,360 Speaker 1: through a hard time and it wasn't my fault for 925 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,560 Speaker 1: not thinking. So now the meeting, My sister, brother and 926 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,400 Speaker 1: dad sat me down that night. No beating around the bush, 927 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,040 Speaker 1: We just went into it. They explained why they didn't 928 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,280 Speaker 1: tell me, and they told me a few things about 929 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,480 Speaker 1: my mom, like how she passed away. She got into 930 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,799 Speaker 1: a car with some bad people and they unlived her. 931 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: This information still haunts me to this day. 932 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 2: Some reason. I feel like that's a pretty ballad reason. Yeah, yeah, 933 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,400 Speaker 2: that's really really hard. They asked me how I felt. 934 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,799 Speaker 1: I said I was angry and I felt lied to 935 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: and betrayed, and that it wasn't fair. I could have 936 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,200 Speaker 1: met her before she passed away and I couldn't. I 937 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:17,800 Speaker 1: started crying, and then I started laughing, like hysterically laughing, 938 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,120 Speaker 1: because this is crap you see in movies, and I 939 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 1: just couldn't believe it. They said the rest of the. 940 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 2: Family, the older ones that knew just forgot about it all. 941 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 1: I became a part of the family so quickly and 942 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,040 Speaker 1: so young that they didn't look at me and think 943 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,480 Speaker 1: of me as that kid that was born to another woman. 944 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,000 Speaker 2: I was family, and that made me feel a little better, 945 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 2: I guess. 946 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 1: Contacting my sister and two cousins, they made a group 947 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,279 Speaker 1: chat and added me. They asked me a million and 948 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,600 Speaker 1: one questions about my life when I'm studying, do I 949 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: have a boyfriend, et cetera. 950 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 2: They showed me photos. 951 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,760 Speaker 1: My sister is Natalie, and my two cousins are Julie 952 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,160 Speaker 1: and Sally. Sally, the older one, the one that reached 953 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,960 Speaker 1: out through Instagram a few days afterwards, asked to talk 954 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,000 Speaker 1: to me on the phone. I said, okay. I had 955 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,600 Speaker 1: already sent them voice messages and current photos so they 956 00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,600 Speaker 1: could see what I looked like and sounded like. It 957 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,160 Speaker 1: was fun. They wouldn't stop talking and they were freaking out. 958 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:05,399 Speaker 1: It put me off a bit because I'm very, very shy. 959 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 1: But anyways, I talked to her on the phone. It 960 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 1: was my dad's phone. He was talking to her and 961 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,799 Speaker 1: she asked to put me on. I was really awkward, though, 962 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,839 Speaker 1: so it was a short conversation and I didn't want 963 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,400 Speaker 1: to talk to her shortly after getting on the phone, 964 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,759 Speaker 1: So issue number one. According to my dad, they're not 965 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,560 Speaker 1: very trustworthy and they cause a lot of drama. I 966 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,960 Speaker 1: didn't know what he meant. 967 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,080 Speaker 2: Until this happened. 968 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,640 Speaker 1: Oh no. Sally messaged me a long message basically questioning 969 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,719 Speaker 1: if it was really me who was sending her these 970 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,719 Speaker 1: photos and voice messages, and if it was really me 971 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:35,400 Speaker 1: on the phone? 972 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,160 Speaker 2: Girl, come on, come on. 973 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,000 Speaker 1: She was saying how she suspected my dad of putting 974 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,680 Speaker 1: someone else on the phone and pretending like it was me. 975 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,040 Speaker 1: Her reasoning was that sense I was so awkward and 976 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 1: cold and not as excited as her sister and my sister, 977 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,279 Speaker 1: so my reaction was not the right one, and that 978 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:53,919 Speaker 1: made her doubt me and my dad. 979 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,319 Speaker 2: Girl, she just found out that she has a sister. Yeah, 980 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,400 Speaker 2: that's in it. Yeah, I get it. Sometimes you don't know. 981 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,520 Speaker 1: What to say to people that you've never met before 982 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,040 Speaker 1: and are supposed to have this whole background. Sometimes you 983 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,719 Speaker 1: don't know what to say. Okay, this seriously pissed me off, 984 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,360 Speaker 1: because who the f would do something like that? She 985 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 1: thinks that my dad would go to these great lengths 986 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 1: to play pretend she didn't believe him. In short, I 987 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,440 Speaker 1: told her off and said that just because I'm not 988 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,799 Speaker 1: jumping with joy doesn't mean that it isn't really me, 989 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 1: and that she offended me and my dad by accusing 990 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 1: us of something like that absolutely ridiculous. She apologized profusely. However, 991 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 1: this led me to rethink things. I stopped talking to 992 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,040 Speaker 1: her after that, and I haven't talked to her since. 993 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 1: I don't know what to say to her, and I 994 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 1: don't know how this affects our relationship, if you could 995 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,440 Speaker 1: even call it that. I haven't spoken to Natalie or 996 00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,360 Speaker 1: Julie either, because they were going along with what Sally 997 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 1: was saying, like yeah. 998 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,200 Speaker 2: Maybe this isn't her blah blah blah. It makes me. 999 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,359 Speaker 1: Feel bad, But at the same time, I just can't 1000 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,759 Speaker 1: bring myself to message them. 1001 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 2: I don't know these people. 1002 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,920 Speaker 3: Absolutely happens with my little cousins. Yeah, but like if 1003 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,799 Speaker 3: it's been because I have a couple of cousins. 1004 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,959 Speaker 2: Who uh are in uh, I won't say we're there. 1005 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:04,040 Speaker 3: Sure farther away, yeah, And so like every every once 1006 00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,400 Speaker 3: in a while, like, well, we'll visit them, and I'm like, 1007 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,720 Speaker 3: oh my god, Haye, it takes like, you know, thirty 1008 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:12,880 Speaker 3: minutes for them to warm up and remember who I 1009 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 3: exactly exactly. 1010 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,640 Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, they're like yeah, yeah, but. 1011 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:19,520 Speaker 1: Then like an hour later, right, right. You have to 1012 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,319 Speaker 1: hate reminding that. So it's just like this, like this 1013 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,240 Speaker 1: is such a crazy situation, and this is a family 1014 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,520 Speaker 1: that you haven't seen. Like, even if you're so excited 1015 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,600 Speaker 1: about this, you're probably older than this person. 1016 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,360 Speaker 2: You can't put those feelings and emotions on that person. 1017 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like expect that they owe you that, because 1018 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:37,960 Speaker 1: that's not how people work that Like everyone's saying that 1019 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,840 Speaker 1: opos them something. I know. 1020 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 2: It's like let's hop with that. Let's just let's let live. 1021 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 1: Let live, but we have issue number two, the current one. 1022 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,480 Speaker 2: Let's do it. So a couple of nights ago, I 1023 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,399 Speaker 2: was talking to my dad. 1024 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,239 Speaker 1: He told me that he needed my help with the 1025 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,480 Speaker 1: decision because I'm an adult now and he thinks that 1026 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,799 Speaker 1: I should know about what's going on. Roughly a month ago, 1027 00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,920 Speaker 1: Sally messaged my dad. She asked him for help finding. 1028 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,400 Speaker 1: She went on about how she has three children and 1029 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,239 Speaker 1: she constantly needs to go to the court to get 1030 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,759 Speaker 1: child support from their fathers, and she has not been 1031 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,759 Speaker 1: doing well financially or emotionally, and now her health is 1032 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,400 Speaker 1: suffering for it. She showed him photos of her head. 1033 00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 1: She has this huge patch of hair gone, so her 1034 00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 1: hair is falling out, and she acquired a bacteria in 1035 00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,000 Speaker 1: her mouth. She lost two front teeth, and if she 1036 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,200 Speaker 1: wants to begin working again, she needs to get her 1037 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,040 Speaker 1: health and appearance in order. She hasn't been taking care 1038 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,480 Speaker 1: of her teeth, she admitted, because of everything going on, 1039 00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,920 Speaker 1: so irresponsibly, she let her dental health get worse and worse. 1040 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,480 Speaker 1: She never looked up how expensive it was, and now 1041 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,000 Speaker 1: that she realizes she does not have the money to 1042 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 1: be spending on teeth, she's asking him for help to 1043 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:42,280 Speaker 1: pay for her treatment. 1044 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,440 Speaker 3: So there is also a possibility that she reached out 1045 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:49,799 Speaker 3: for this. Yeah, yeah, oh gosh. This reminds me of 1046 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:53,520 Speaker 3: the incident three months ago, the blatan mistrust and second 1047 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,680 Speaker 3: guessing and thinking my dad would go to such extremes 1048 00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,200 Speaker 3: to put on a show. How my dad told me 1049 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,479 Speaker 3: Jackie Bio mom would only ask for money when she'd 1050 00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,000 Speaker 3: call him and didn't ask how I was doing, And 1051 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,359 Speaker 3: how their family is extremely dramatic and causes trouble all 1052 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:08,880 Speaker 3: the time. 1053 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,040 Speaker 2: I wasn't inclined to help her. Yeah, I don't. 1054 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,840 Speaker 1: Trust her, I don't know her. However, I feel really 1055 00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,000 Speaker 1: bad when I saw those photos of her, and yes 1056 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,040 Speaker 1: it's her, she's not lying about it, and how bad 1057 00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,360 Speaker 1: her dental health was, the good side of me is 1058 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,240 Speaker 1: itching to help. But we have our own financial problem. 1059 00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 1: I got into a car accident a few weeks ago, 1060 00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,120 Speaker 1: and we were also paying off alone for school. And 1061 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:32,080 Speaker 1: I'm not trusting of who is basically a complete stranger 1062 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,399 Speaker 1: of me. My dad says we'll do whatever I want 1063 00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,600 Speaker 1: to do, and I haven't been sleeping well since then, 1064 00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,440 Speaker 1: and I don't know what's effing do So do I 1065 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,160 Speaker 1: help her or let her offend for herself? And that 1066 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,480 Speaker 1: is the end of it. What dang? 1067 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,040 Speaker 2: What do we think? Do we help her or no? 1068 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,799 Speaker 2: That's so difficult. That's really difficult. It's so difficult. 1069 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,200 Speaker 1: Maybe it can be a kind of thing of being like, hey, 1070 00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:57,799 Speaker 1: like we have things to pay for too, Like I don't. 1071 00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,560 Speaker 1: We don't have just like an excess of money to 1072 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:01,560 Speaker 1: just give you, but like you know, maybe we can 1073 00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,040 Speaker 1: pay for like little things here and there, or like 1074 00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,960 Speaker 1: I can only like do like one hundred dollars right now, Yeah, 1075 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,080 Speaker 1: I think something. 1076 00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,480 Speaker 3: Like that maybe, and also saying like, hey, I want 1077 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,200 Speaker 3: to direct I want to make sure this directly goes 1078 00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,560 Speaker 3: to dental health payments, you know, yeah, like that's a 1079 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,760 Speaker 3: good way I will send this money to the doctors 1080 00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,600 Speaker 3: or like having it directly go there, right right. 1081 00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:23,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you can do a little bit, but 1082 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:27,640 Speaker 1: you can limit yourself however much you want to pay. Yeah, 1083 00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:29,960 Speaker 1: it's like, don't go based off of like, yeah, I 1084 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't go based off of like a percentage of how 1085 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:34,360 Speaker 1: much costs. I would just go off of like how 1086 00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,200 Speaker 1: much money you have and how much money you're willing 1087 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:37,719 Speaker 1: to give away exactly, like and. 1088 00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,320 Speaker 2: How much money will not hurt you financially exactly. 1089 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,960 Speaker 1: And if that happens to be like two percent of 1090 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,279 Speaker 1: the payment, then that's what you say. Okay, I just 1091 00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,840 Speaker 1: unfortunately can't afford. Yeah, I'll be out more than this 1092 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:50,279 Speaker 1: exactly because it's not on you. It's not on you. 1093 00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:55,120 Speaker 1: So but you know what is on you is checking 1094 00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:58,000 Speaker 1: out more episodes with more stories just like this one. 1095 00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:02,200 Speaker 1: You have to go to Apple podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, whatever 1096 00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:05,080 Speaker 1: your favorite podcast app is and search, Okay, storytime find 1097 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:05,680 Speaker 1: these episodes. 1098 00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:06,480 Speaker 2: That is on you. 1099 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,200 Speaker 1: You do actually have to do that, and you do 1100 00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,520 Speaker 1: owe us that, so do I don't know to tell 1101 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,960 Speaker 1: you about that one, but but yeah, that's the end 1102 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:13,560 Speaker 1: of our story. 1103 00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:16,440 Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're 1104 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,080 Speaker 2: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a 1105 00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:19,960 Speaker 2: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 1106 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:24,000 Speaker 3: My parents want to buy a house for my irresponsible sister. 1107 00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:25,640 Speaker 2: I want to object. 1108 00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,160 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, that's a big house. 1109 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:29,080 Speaker 2: Is a big purchase? 1110 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:30,880 Speaker 1: Did they buy a house for you question? 1111 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:34,320 Speaker 3: So let's start off with my parents. They make good money. 1112 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:39,040 Speaker 3: They always have one thing. They've never done well managed 1113 00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:43,520 Speaker 3: the money. Anytime they get a raise or come into 1114 00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,560 Speaker 3: some money, they have to spend it all. 1115 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,000 Speaker 2: They have a crazy amount in credit card debt. Yikes. 1116 00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:50,920 Speaker 3: They have always been the type of people to have 1117 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,719 Speaker 3: the latest and greatest things. By the way, this comes 1118 00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,640 Speaker 3: from one bad a old ad and if you want 1119 00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,200 Speaker 3: to spit your own stories, good to our slash. 1120 00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:01,360 Speaker 2: Okay, story time separate it. So example, last year. 1121 00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:03,400 Speaker 3: We bought my husband a used car, a couple of 1122 00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,520 Speaker 3: years old, but a nice car. We got a great 1123 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:08,040 Speaker 3: deal on it. It is fully loaded with everything you 1124 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,080 Speaker 3: can ever want. But we got it for about three 1125 00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:13,080 Speaker 3: thousand dollars less than market value. We bought it off 1126 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:17,840 Speaker 3: my in laws. Immediately, my dad, who already has three cars, 1127 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,080 Speaker 3: started looking into buying one. 1128 00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:24,080 Speaker 2: Why do you need more? Why do you need more cars? 1129 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:25,600 Speaker 2: You have three? 1130 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:29,200 Speaker 3: My mom became rational and told him no, that he 1131 00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 3: didn't need it, especially fully loaded. Good job mom. A 1132 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,360 Speaker 3: couple of months ago, my car was passing away. To 1133 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,239 Speaker 3: fix it would cost way more than the car was worth. 1134 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,600 Speaker 3: We did our research and I got a used black 1135 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,240 Speaker 3: trust me, color is important to this part of the story. Again, 1136 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,439 Speaker 3: we got a great deal because my husband's uncle worked 1137 00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:47,840 Speaker 3: for the dealership where we got it. 1138 00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:48,080 Speaker 1: Well. 1139 00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:50,960 Speaker 3: A month later, my dad texts me and tells me 1140 00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:53,160 Speaker 3: he's trading in his car for a new one. I 1141 00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,680 Speaker 3: ask what kind of car, and he sends me a link. 1142 00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:56,480 Speaker 2: Two years newer. 1143 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so same car as op but two years newer. 1144 00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,799 Speaker 3: I asked him, you trying to copy me dead, to 1145 00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,160 Speaker 3: which he responded, I can't let you have nicer cars 1146 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,640 Speaker 3: than me. He said it chokingly, but there was some 1147 00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:09,640 Speaker 3: truth to it. So recently my parents have come into 1148 00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,280 Speaker 3: a lot of money. My mom won a large settlement 1149 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:16,200 Speaker 3: against her former employer for wrongful termination. And my dad's 1150 00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:20,040 Speaker 3: mother passed so he's getting a large inheritance, so lots 1151 00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:24,480 Speaker 3: of money. Now on to my sister, My bipolar personality disorder, 1152 00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,480 Speaker 3: self absorbed person sister. I hate to even call her 1153 00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:32,480 Speaker 3: my sister. Honestly, she mistreated me physically and emotionally from 1154 00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:35,239 Speaker 3: the time I was born Cheese. I cut her out 1155 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,600 Speaker 3: of my life when I was twenty two for two years. 1156 00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,520 Speaker 3: The only reason I brought her back was because she 1157 00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,840 Speaker 3: became pregnant. She was married for about three years and 1158 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:45,600 Speaker 3: her husband left her for another woman. 1159 00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,080 Speaker 2: Was that crappy of him to do? Yes? 1160 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:49,359 Speaker 1: Did she deserve it? 1161 00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:50,120 Speaker 2: Kind of yes. 1162 00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:53,200 Speaker 3: I saw her emotionally abuse him, call him an idiot 1163 00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,560 Speaker 3: and worthless. She never took care of the house, pictures 1164 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,400 Speaker 3: slightly better than orders. She refused to work even though 1165 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,120 Speaker 3: they couldn't have not to work, and like my parents, 1166 00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:05,239 Speaker 3: she likes the latest and greatest things, just didn't have 1167 00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:08,120 Speaker 3: the money for it, so they put themselves in crazy 1168 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,319 Speaker 3: amount of debt. So last year she got evicted out 1169 00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,600 Speaker 3: of the place she lived. She barely paid rent, but 1170 00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,120 Speaker 3: had an understanding a landlord that helped her a lot. 1171 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,920 Speaker 3: She barely paid any of her bills, as my grandma, 1172 00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,239 Speaker 3: Mom and dad paid for a lot of it, even 1173 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,000 Speaker 3: her divorce lawyer. The thing that made the landlord punt 1174 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,400 Speaker 3: her out was the condition that she left the house 1175 00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,120 Speaker 3: and he was having none of that. How was he 1176 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:30,880 Speaker 3: letting her get away with not paying rent? 1177 00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:32,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's free. That's interesting. 1178 00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:36,480 Speaker 3: How understanding the landlord do you have? So my parents 1179 00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,040 Speaker 3: took my sister and my niece in about a year ago. 1180 00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,800 Speaker 3: I had concerns, as I said, my sister is abusive. 1181 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,280 Speaker 3: This is the time in their lives. My parents should 1182 00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:48,239 Speaker 3: be winding down and enjoying their lives together. She would 1183 00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,920 Speaker 3: blame them for all her troubles, yell at them if 1184 00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,000 Speaker 3: they didn't do what you wanted. I voiced that I 1185 00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,919 Speaker 3: was concerned for them emotionally, physically, and financially. They told 1186 00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:58,799 Speaker 3: me not to worry. They'll put in rules for her 1187 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,439 Speaker 3: to live there. She'll pay some She'll not disrespect them, 1188 00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,359 Speaker 3: she will not disrespect me or my younger sister want 1189 00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,799 Speaker 3: me visit, She'll clean up after herself. She will save 1190 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:10,400 Speaker 3: money to get out A sapped A lot of positive. 1191 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,439 Speaker 2: Thinking there, Yeah, a lot of positive thinking. 1192 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,600 Speaker 1: Maybe not a lot of reality, right, little too much 1193 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:16,960 Speaker 1: telling of the future. 1194 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like, no, for sure, we know exactly how 1195 00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,120 Speaker 2: this is gonna go. Do you do you though? 1196 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,280 Speaker 1: Do you really well? 1197 00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:28,240 Speaker 3: As you probably figured, none of that happened. She would 1198 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,040 Speaker 3: publicly bash them on Facebook if they said or did 1199 00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:34,920 Speaker 3: something she didn't like. Her room a mess, soda bottles, 1200 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:39,360 Speaker 3: wine bottles, trash everywhere. She berates me and my younger 1201 00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,360 Speaker 3: sister all the time when we go there, and my 1202 00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:44,400 Speaker 3: parents let her. She spends her money on stupid crap 1203 00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,920 Speaker 3: and things she doesn't need. No rent was ever paid, 1204 00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,600 Speaker 3: uses my niece as a pawn in her game, and 1205 00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:53,359 Speaker 3: my parents pay for everything because she has no money. Well, 1206 00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,920 Speaker 3: then tell her to get a job exactly. She has 1207 00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:59,080 Speaker 3: also had three jobs in the past year. She can't 1208 00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:03,280 Speaker 3: keep a job and keeps getting fired. It's never her fault, though, 1209 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,319 Speaker 3: that was a sarcastic statement. Oh, and they're taking her 1210 00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:09,000 Speaker 3: on a Disney cruise and Disney trip soon, and my 1211 00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,120 Speaker 3: parents made a point to tell me and my younger 1212 00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:13,000 Speaker 3: sister that, oh we aren't invited. 1213 00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:17,200 Speaker 1: Why are your parents so horrible too? What's that's a 1214 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,799 Speaker 1: crazy note to be like? And al see you're not coming. Yeah, 1215 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,279 Speaker 1: like we're gonna. We're gonna actually pay for everything for her. 1216 00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,200 Speaker 1: The poor thing can't can't have a she she can't 1217 00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,359 Speaker 1: she can't keep a job. Yeah, but we will take 1218 00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,239 Speaker 1: her on this Disney cruise. Yeah. 1219 00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:33,000 Speaker 2: And we also we're gonna pay for it too, probably. Yeah. 1220 00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:37,520 Speaker 3: Unfortunately, everything I said what happened has now on to 1221 00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:41,160 Speaker 3: the issue. My parents call me all excited. Dad's friend 1222 00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:44,239 Speaker 3: from work is selling his mother's home. It's conveniently two 1223 00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:47,000 Speaker 3: minutes away from my parents' house. It's small, and they 1224 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,200 Speaker 3: are thinking of doing a down payment for my sister 1225 00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,840 Speaker 3: to live there. The only reason they told me. My 1226 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,440 Speaker 3: younger sister was told, and she said that if they 1227 00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:57,080 Speaker 3: didn't tell their power of attorney me, by the end 1228 00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:59,560 Speaker 3: of the day, she will. Even the fact that I 1229 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,280 Speaker 3: am the power of attorney over my older sister shows 1230 00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:05,040 Speaker 3: that my parents don't trust her. They told me and 1231 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:07,200 Speaker 3: her that the reason they chose me was because they 1232 00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:09,760 Speaker 3: can't trust her to make it fair. Yet they're thinking 1233 00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,719 Speaker 3: of doing this big thing for her now. I bought 1234 00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:15,120 Speaker 3: a house in October of last year. My husband and 1235 00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:19,160 Speaker 3: I saved drove crappy cars, didn't go on vacations and 1236 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,920 Speaker 3: rarely ate out for our down payment on our house. 1237 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,960 Speaker 3: We did it all on our own, no help from anyone. 1238 00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:26,920 Speaker 3: They called to tell me that what they would do. 1239 00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:28,880 Speaker 3: It's changed their will to state that it comes out 1240 00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:32,240 Speaker 3: of her portion of the inheritance. I guarantee they won't 1241 00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:34,960 Speaker 3: do that. It really isn't about the money for me. Honestly, 1242 00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:36,600 Speaker 3: I don't care if at the end of the day, 1243 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,000 Speaker 3: I get no money from them, as long as they 1244 00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,640 Speaker 3: spend it on each other doing the things they want. 1245 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,520 Speaker 3: I also understand that they are miserable living with her. 1246 00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,080 Speaker 3: My parents are currently seeing a family therapist on how 1247 00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,800 Speaker 3: to deal with her. When they told me, I got scared. 1248 00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:52,840 Speaker 3: They are financially binding themselves to someone who they have 1249 00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:56,680 Speaker 3: bailed out constantly, well over twenty five thousand dollars worth. 1250 00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:58,080 Speaker 2: That is a lot of. 1251 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,240 Speaker 3: I told him that I think this is the dumbest 1252 00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,880 Speaker 3: financial decision ever, and then I want to speak with 1253 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,279 Speaker 3: their physician about it. For them to think that this 1254 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,480 Speaker 3: is a smart move is completely mind boggling, and something 1255 00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:13,160 Speaker 3: is not right. They said, it's only the down payment. 1256 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,160 Speaker 3: She'll be doing the rest, just like she was going 1257 00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,560 Speaker 3: to clean the house and pay you guys rent exactly 1258 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:19,040 Speaker 3: like that. Didn't happen? 1259 00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:20,040 Speaker 2: Did not happen? 1260 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:22,640 Speaker 3: I asked them what happens if my sister stops paying 1261 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,640 Speaker 3: for the house? What then they won't let her or 1262 00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,280 Speaker 3: my niece be homeless, So they're going to continue making 1263 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,879 Speaker 3: the payments. They gave the argument that they can put 1264 00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,280 Speaker 3: it in their name, to which I said, then they'll 1265 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,760 Speaker 3: never let it for close. Then there is this fact 1266 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,560 Speaker 3: if something breaks, my sister can't fix it. 1267 00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,279 Speaker 2: She can barely change a light bulb. What then they're 1268 00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:42,640 Speaker 2: gonna go over there and fix. 1269 00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:44,480 Speaker 1: Everything for her? Now, who is gonna mow the lawn? 1270 00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:47,280 Speaker 3: Who's gonna shovel the driveway in the winter. Who's gonna 1271 00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:51,480 Speaker 3: be mister fix it? My dad guaranteed he barely has 1272 00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:53,680 Speaker 3: time to do the things for his house. Yet now 1273 00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,560 Speaker 3: he's going to have another one to take care of. 1274 00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:56,359 Speaker 1: He had a. 1275 00:55:56,280 --> 00:56:00,240 Speaker 3: Serious heart attack two years ago and had a bypass 1276 00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:04,040 Speaker 3: on six arteries. Oh wow, this man can't take care 1277 00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:08,280 Speaker 3: of two houses. This isn't healthy for him. And lord knows, 1278 00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:11,160 Speaker 3: my mom can't do it. This is a mess. I 1279 00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,440 Speaker 3: told them that if she can afford a monthly mortgage, 1280 00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,040 Speaker 3: then she can afford rent. If they want to help 1281 00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:19,399 Speaker 3: her with a security deposit, fine, do it, but they 1282 00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:22,440 Speaker 3: will have no legally binding to it whatsoever. 1283 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:23,680 Speaker 2: It's safer. They said. 1284 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,640 Speaker 1: I made a good point, but she is a dog. 1285 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:27,720 Speaker 2: What place is gonna take her with the dog? 1286 00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,640 Speaker 3: I said that my husband and my first apartment take dogs. 1287 00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:33,320 Speaker 3: And it was eight fifty a month for one bedroom, 1288 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:37,080 Speaker 3: one den, one bathroom home. That is enough space for them. 1289 00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:38,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry. 1290 00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:42,279 Speaker 1: So she Opie is giving all of these reasons of 1291 00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:45,200 Speaker 1: how she can't take care of a whole house on 1292 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:46,320 Speaker 1: her own, and they're. 1293 00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:47,399 Speaker 2: Just like, yeah, but she's got a dog. 1294 00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:49,440 Speaker 1: She's got a dog. We have to help her. 1295 00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,600 Speaker 2: She got a dog. 1296 00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,560 Speaker 1: Like worst case scenario, if she can't take care of herself, 1297 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:57,160 Speaker 1: she can't take care of a dog. Yeah, unfortunately, Yeah, 1298 00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:59,920 Speaker 1: take the dog or give it the dog for adoption 1299 00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:03,120 Speaker 1: or something like. That's not I cannot be a deciding 1300 00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,640 Speaker 1: factor in you taking care of a whole second house 1301 00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:06,440 Speaker 1: for this daughter. 1302 00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:10,120 Speaker 2: Nope, not at all. That's crazy. Nope, no, no that way. 1303 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:13,600 Speaker 3: If anything breaks, they will fix it. Snow plowing, they do, mowing, 1304 00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,279 Speaker 3: they do, even garbage. 1305 00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:16,480 Speaker 2: With no reason for her to. 1306 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,120 Speaker 3: Get a house when my parents will become responsible for it. 1307 00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:23,200 Speaker 3: This has all blown up. My younger sister is engaged 1308 00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,720 Speaker 3: and refuses to have anything to do with my parents 1309 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:28,440 Speaker 3: over it. I'm going to distance myself, that is for sure. 1310 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,400 Speaker 3: I feel as though I can no longer trust them. 1311 00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,360 Speaker 3: I've never trusted them much before, but that's an even 1312 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,520 Speaker 3: longer story, and I've lost respect for them. I've worked 1313 00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:39,600 Speaker 3: hard for everything I've had, and I'm proud of that. 1314 00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,560 Speaker 3: They said that they're proud of me. Yet they're enabling 1315 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,080 Speaker 3: my sister and her bad behavior and then want to 1316 00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,320 Speaker 3: buy her a house. What The thought of going about 1317 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,600 Speaker 3: the rest of my life with minimal contact with my 1318 00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,439 Speaker 3: parents crushes me. But I don't want to sit back 1319 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:56,320 Speaker 3: and watch this car wreck. My parents did tell me 1320 00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:59,440 Speaker 3: I had valid points to take into consideration, but I 1321 00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:01,680 Speaker 3: think they will try to go through with this just 1322 00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:03,960 Speaker 3: to get her out. I told them that getting her 1323 00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,360 Speaker 3: house won't change anything. She's still gonna treat them like cramp. 1324 00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:10,600 Speaker 3: In all honesty, this is all in the early stages. 1325 00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,960 Speaker 3: They haven't even contacted a bank to see if they 1326 00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,440 Speaker 3: will be approved. I think they will be laughed out 1327 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:16,840 Speaker 3: of a bank. I mean, if they have all that 1328 00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:21,400 Speaker 3: credit card debt. You probably yeah, probably, yeah, but who knows. 1329 00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:24,240 Speaker 3: I'm pretty scared. I know this is a mess that 1330 00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:27,240 Speaker 3: someday I'm gonna have to deal with as power of attorney. 1331 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:28,960 Speaker 3: The fact that they even think this is a good 1332 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,280 Speaker 3: idea and want to go through with it, whether they 1333 00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:35,160 Speaker 3: can or not, makes me question everything. My older sister 1334 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,640 Speaker 3: found out that my younger sister and I are extremely 1335 00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:40,280 Speaker 3: disapproving and are trying to talk my parents out of it. 1336 00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:42,720 Speaker 3: She knows we don't like her, So what did she 1337 00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:47,960 Speaker 3: do last night? I have a temper tantrum? Uh shocking woo. 1338 00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:51,960 Speaker 3: This is not uncommon for her. My little sister told 1339 00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:54,280 Speaker 3: them she was gonna call the cops, but my parents 1340 00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,200 Speaker 3: begged her not to because then they'll take my niece away. 1341 00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,720 Speaker 2: Honestly, that might be the best thing for her. My 1342 00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:01,040 Speaker 2: parent said they're. 1343 00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:03,480 Speaker 3: Doing this for my niece, for her to be close by, 1344 00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:05,840 Speaker 3: and that you're not a mom, so you don't understand. 1345 00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:08,760 Speaker 3: I understand helping your daughter. I was fine with her 1346 00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:11,520 Speaker 3: moving into their house in the first place, just had concerns. 1347 00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:15,280 Speaker 3: Now they're doing everything for her. She's thirty, it's time 1348 00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:16,160 Speaker 3: to grow up. 1349 00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:17,440 Speaker 2: I don't even know what to do. 1350 00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,960 Speaker 3: I'm at the point I should just sit back and 1351 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:23,360 Speaker 3: if it happens, then it happens. It doesn't concern me. 1352 00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:25,920 Speaker 3: I'll just clean up the mess after they're gone. Is 1353 00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:28,360 Speaker 3: there anything I could do? What would you do if 1354 00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,840 Speaker 3: you were me? I appreciate that you guys took the 1355 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:33,959 Speaker 3: time to read this and any advice is appreciated, and. 1356 00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:34,840 Speaker 2: There is an update. 1357 00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,600 Speaker 1: Well, but what are your thoughts way back in the story. Yeah, 1358 00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:40,880 Speaker 1: when they were before they even like brought up this 1359 00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:44,280 Speaker 1: whole house thing, she was, well, maybe they were just 1360 00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:47,440 Speaker 1: starting to bring it up, because I think they were like, hey, like, 1361 00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,600 Speaker 1: you gotta get your own place, and she's like, you 1362 00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:52,360 Speaker 1: have to, you have to do everything for me. 1363 00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:55,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna tell my power attorney on you. 1364 00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:57,920 Speaker 1: And it's like, well, I think I think that your 1365 00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,880 Speaker 1: your sister is gonna be you with your parents on 1366 01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:01,240 Speaker 1: this one. 1367 01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:02,320 Speaker 2: You gotta get out. 1368 01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,160 Speaker 1: So I feel like she should have just done that, 1369 01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:06,840 Speaker 1: and then the sister should be like power of attorney. 1370 01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:07,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm wondering. 1371 01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,960 Speaker 3: Why OP is not exercising those right And it did 1372 01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,560 Speaker 3: say when I looked it up that there were different 1373 01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,760 Speaker 3: types of power of attorneys, so maybe it's more limited 1374 01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:15,880 Speaker 3: in its capacity. 1375 01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:17,360 Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, it's. 1376 01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:20,840 Speaker 1: Just interesting that that sister like threatened to tell ope 1377 01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,760 Speaker 1: when it was like, oh, p he's not gonna be 1378 01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:23,640 Speaker 1: with you girl, Oh peace. 1379 01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:25,720 Speaker 2: It's not on your side at all. 1380 01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,280 Speaker 3: But I think that you've done everything you can in 1381 01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:30,840 Speaker 3: terms of warning your parents, and at this point it's 1382 01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:33,560 Speaker 3: their financial decision to kind of make. Yeah, like, if 1383 01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:36,320 Speaker 3: they mess up their lives, that's on them. True, true, 1384 01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,640 Speaker 3: but there is an update. I'm going to just let go. 1385 01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:41,880 Speaker 3: If this happens, then it happens. I've talked it over 1386 01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,960 Speaker 3: with my sister, husband and grandma, and we've all decided 1387 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,840 Speaker 3: to step back from this. My younger sister still wants 1388 01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,440 Speaker 3: no contact for now, and that's her choice. I'll be minimal. 1389 01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:53,520 Speaker 3: It's not in us versus them. It's being worried about 1390 01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:56,560 Speaker 3: my parents. My mom and dad both have health issues, 1391 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,760 Speaker 3: and I don't want this to crush them. I do 1392 01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:02,240 Speaker 3: love and worry about them. They're all adults. While it's 1393 01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,000 Speaker 3: not the brightest decision, it's theirs to make. My parents 1394 01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:06,880 Speaker 3: have involved all three of us for a long time, 1395 01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:09,880 Speaker 3: and problems and decisions that we shouldn't have been even 1396 01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,680 Speaker 3: as small kids. Maybe that's why they felt the need 1397 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,400 Speaker 3: to tell us all this. Maybe they shouldn't have, at 1398 01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:17,880 Speaker 3: least not yet, or until they at least met with 1399 01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,880 Speaker 3: a bank. As for me, being the power of attorney, 1400 01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:23,480 Speaker 3: I am also the executor of their estate. If this 1401 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,600 Speaker 3: goes through, I will tell them I want to meet 1402 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:28,200 Speaker 3: with their lawyers and figure this all out. I will 1403 01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:31,480 Speaker 3: decide then if I want to continue. Huh, dang, I 1404 01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:34,880 Speaker 3: need to see a therapist. And there is an update. 1405 01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:38,720 Speaker 1: Oh wow, wowie, So they can go to a lawyer 1406 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:43,320 Speaker 1: then and have this settled with a lawyer. Yes, yeah, interesting. Interesting. 1407 01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:44,920 Speaker 2: Well, I mean that's good. 1408 01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:48,480 Speaker 1: At least op has, like some say in this even 1409 01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:51,880 Speaker 1: though it's like it's really not like totally involving op. No, 1410 01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,760 Speaker 1: but yeah, based on what I've seen in this story, 1411 01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:59,160 Speaker 1: I'm glad that op Has has a power in some Yeah, 1412 01:01:59,160 --> 01:01:59,960 Speaker 1: in some capacity. 1413 01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:01,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. But let's get into this update. 1414 01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,520 Speaker 3: First things first, my parents did not ever do a 1415 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,480 Speaker 3: down payment on a house for They told her to 1416 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,440 Speaker 3: go do research and see what she can get as 1417 01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:11,280 Speaker 3: far as alone, and every bank told her no because 1418 01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:14,400 Speaker 3: she has a bunch of credit card debt. Yeah, which 1419 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:17,160 Speaker 3: is what I figured might happen. The most delusional thing 1420 01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:20,120 Speaker 3: is she still thinks she can afford it and still 1421 01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:23,320 Speaker 3: keeps looking. I asked my parents about it recently and 1422 01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:26,040 Speaker 3: they said, yeah, we screwed up saying we could do that. 1423 01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:28,960 Speaker 3: She can't ever afford her house. I asked about helping 1424 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:32,040 Speaker 3: her find an apartment, and that never goes anywhere. She 1425 01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:35,439 Speaker 3: seems very content verbally abusing my parents in their home 1426 01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:37,800 Speaker 3: and they let her, so no change there. 1427 01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:39,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1428 01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,080 Speaker 3: One thing that happened was the five of us, younger 1429 01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:45,080 Speaker 3: sister included, went into family therapy for a while. It 1430 01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,680 Speaker 3: was just my parents and older sister going trying to 1431 01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:50,040 Speaker 3: work on their dynamics, as they're the ones who lived 1432 01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:51,280 Speaker 3: together in battle a lot. 1433 01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:53,200 Speaker 1: When I did go, it helped me a bit. 1434 01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:55,600 Speaker 3: He made me realize that I really shouldn't hate my 1435 01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:59,080 Speaker 3: older sister as much as I should be angry. 1436 01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,000 Speaker 2: With my parents. 1437 01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:03,840 Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah, honestly, I mean they're the one 1438 01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:06,360 Speaker 1: who they're the ones who contributed to this kind of 1439 01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:09,040 Speaker 1: golden child syndrome, right right. 1440 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:10,880 Speaker 2: I don't know I was still being mad at the sister. 1441 01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,680 Speaker 3: I mean absolutely, you could definitely still be mad at 1442 01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:15,600 Speaker 3: the sister, but it's like put some blame on those 1443 01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:17,840 Speaker 3: parents too. For sure, they are the ones who didn't 1444 01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:20,720 Speaker 3: protect me from my harmful sister. He also paired us up. 1445 01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:22,840 Speaker 3: Each person in the family has a partner that they 1446 01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:25,800 Speaker 3: were going to go to when problems happened. Someone event 1447 01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,080 Speaker 3: to and that person was to have the other person's 1448 01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:31,080 Speaker 3: back in arguments, no matter how wrong they may have been. 1449 01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,960 Speaker 3: I was paired up with my older sister. It was exhausting, 1450 01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:37,720 Speaker 3: but I really tried my best. As things usually happened, 1451 01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,280 Speaker 3: she came to me with everything, and yet I never 1452 01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:43,160 Speaker 3: went to her. I never told her about my problems. 1453 01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:45,840 Speaker 3: She called me every single day to talk about hers. 1454 01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:49,360 Speaker 3: One family session, the therapist brought up that everyone in 1455 01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:50,440 Speaker 3: the room has problems. 1456 01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,280 Speaker 1: But I admit, like, I feel like it's probably. 1457 01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:57,480 Speaker 2: Like everyone here has problems. Yeah, but I'm imagining him 1458 01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:00,800 Speaker 2: going all of you guys, yeah, are messed up. Yeah, 1459 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,960 Speaker 2: you guys are all crazy. I don't know. I don't 1460 01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:03,640 Speaker 2: know what you want for me. 1461 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,160 Speaker 3: You are lost, cause, yeah, all of us are depressed. 1462 01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:10,680 Speaker 3: All of us have combative PTSD, some have anxiety. My 1463 01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,720 Speaker 3: mother is an active user. My father is a self 1464 01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,440 Speaker 3: absorbed person, an ahole, and he just doesn't care. My 1465 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:19,960 Speaker 3: oldest sister is borderline personality disorder. It doesn't make any 1466 01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:22,400 Speaker 3: of us bad, It's just who we are because. 1467 01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:22,720 Speaker 2: Of our trauma. 1468 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:25,280 Speaker 1: Okay, that feels like a therapy response, like I don't 1469 01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:26,280 Speaker 1: throw stones, kind of. 1470 01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:31,480 Speaker 3: Like you all have anxiety and personality disorders and narcissism, 1471 01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:33,800 Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, that's what makes 1472 01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:34,480 Speaker 3: you human. 1473 01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:38,080 Speaker 1: Exactly, And I would just be like, okay, yeah, but like, yeah, 1474 01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,080 Speaker 1: so we're talking about talking that, but. 1475 01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:41,160 Speaker 2: Like to deal with. 1476 01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:44,240 Speaker 3: These problems though, he wants us to seek individual therapy 1477 01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:47,160 Speaker 3: outside of seeing him. He then asked who is actually 1478 01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:49,560 Speaker 3: trying the tools he has taught us to communicate, and 1479 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:50,000 Speaker 3: I was. 1480 01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:51,200 Speaker 1: The only one who answered. 1481 01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:53,880 Speaker 3: He told us that some of us were on the 1482 01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:56,360 Speaker 3: verge of pulling away, and some of us are even 1483 01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:59,360 Speaker 3: on the verge of passing away. Pretty serious crap for 1484 01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:02,240 Speaker 3: our last time, right, Yeah, you read that correctly. 1485 01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,080 Speaker 1: It was our last session. 1486 01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:06,040 Speaker 3: The next week, we got a group text from the 1487 01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,720 Speaker 3: therapist breaking up with us, telling us that I am 1488 01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:10,440 Speaker 3: only able to work on a few clients right now 1489 01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:12,160 Speaker 3: as I am having personal problems. 1490 01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:13,120 Speaker 1: That's crazy. 1491 01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:15,000 Speaker 2: He's like, it's not you, it's me. 1492 01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:15,840 Speaker 1: It's not using me. 1493 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:20,680 Speaker 3: That sucks man, dude, So people could pass away from 1494 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,800 Speaker 3: an OD or self arm. But oh well, no recommendation 1495 01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,840 Speaker 3: for another therapist, nothing, Just to be kind of one 1496 01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:29,320 Speaker 3: another and let's pick up again in the fall. Also, 1497 01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,920 Speaker 3: my older sister is adamant that she is perfectly normal 1498 01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:34,680 Speaker 3: and that is diagnosis is wrong and wants his license 1499 01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:38,760 Speaker 3: for it. My younger sister did get married this past weekend. 1500 01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:41,960 Speaker 3: The only drama was from my older sister. One thing 1501 01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,600 Speaker 3: I've never mentioned in the OPE was that my oldest 1502 01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:47,800 Speaker 3: sister for years has overstepped her boundaries with my husband. 1503 01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:50,560 Speaker 3: She will flirt with him, try to cuddle with him, 1504 01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:53,680 Speaker 3: jump into his arms, and more. I have told her 1505 01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,760 Speaker 3: repeatedly to stop, and she hasn't. She has gotten creepy 1506 01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:59,560 Speaker 3: over infatuation with him. I told her last time, if 1507 01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:02,680 Speaker 3: she overt and if she even tried to hug my 1508 01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:04,800 Speaker 3: husband again, she and I are done. 1509 01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:06,160 Speaker 2: Good put up those boundaries. 1510 01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:11,040 Speaker 3: Well, she crossed the line at the wedding shocker. I 1511 01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:13,520 Speaker 3: certainly told her off quietly, and then she proceeded to 1512 01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:17,520 Speaker 3: have a crying, screaming hissy fit at her table. Of course, 1513 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,880 Speaker 3: we're done, I told my parents, I'm no longer going 1514 01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,680 Speaker 3: to their house, and that includes holidays. Until my sister 1515 01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:25,880 Speaker 3: is gone. I will not enable them and her by 1516 01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,800 Speaker 3: visiting anymore. My parents are more than welcome at my home, 1517 01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:30,800 Speaker 3: but she is not. I will not let my husband 1518 01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:34,680 Speaker 3: be uncomfortable anymore. Well, then on Halloween, my mother fell 1519 01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:37,680 Speaker 3: into her bathroom and slammed her face on the bathroom 1520 01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:38,080 Speaker 3: to sink. 1521 01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:40,240 Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god. 1522 01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:42,840 Speaker 3: Broke a bone in her face and broke her pelvis. 1523 01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:45,480 Speaker 3: My father says she was sober. I don't believe it, 1524 01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:48,040 Speaker 3: as my father doesn't pay attention to things like that. 1525 01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:51,640 Speaker 3: Plus they waited three hours before they call the ambulance. 1526 01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,200 Speaker 3: I will never know the truth there. But my mom 1527 01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:57,400 Speaker 3: is going into a nursing home until healed, so if 1528 01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:00,320 Speaker 3: she's abusing things, they will know. My older sister wants 1529 01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,400 Speaker 3: to take care of my mom while she heals, and 1530 01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:05,919 Speaker 3: we have all said over our past away bodies. By 1531 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:10,000 Speaker 3: the way, you can heal yourself by listening to full 1532 01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:12,520 Speaker 3: episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, 1533 01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:14,360 Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and. 1534 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:16,880 Speaker 2: Search bucket story time. You heard the woman, But there 1535 01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:20,840 Speaker 2: is a little bit left to the story. Fine thoughts like. 1536 01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,760 Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, wowe. Yeah, I'm just making like a mental 1537 01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:26,840 Speaker 1: note to myself in the future of being like, I 1538 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:29,160 Speaker 1: hope that none of my kids ever feel like they 1539 01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:30,760 Speaker 1: can't see each other everything. 1540 01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:32,560 Speaker 2: I don't want that to happen to my kids. 1541 01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:34,360 Speaker 3: I think about that a lot because I have such 1542 01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,640 Speaker 3: a great relationship with Sam and I'm like, my kids 1543 01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:40,840 Speaker 3: better live up to us, right, stand on the shoulders 1544 01:07:40,880 --> 01:07:41,520 Speaker 3: of giants. 1545 01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:45,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they gotta be. Oh yeah, that's hard. End 1546 01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:46,320 Speaker 2: with the mom now getting there. 1547 01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:51,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just such a messy yeah, messy met Yeah, 1548 01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:53,000 Speaker 1: but there's more so. 1549 01:07:53,280 --> 01:07:55,840 Speaker 3: There's that I'm feeling guilt over the fact that I 1550 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:57,920 Speaker 3: won't see my niece as much or at all because 1551 01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,160 Speaker 3: of my cutting my sister out. But I have to 1552 01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:02,760 Speaker 3: protect my own I'm going back and forth, and it's 1553 01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,320 Speaker 3: on the decision because of my niece. I feel as 1554 01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:07,080 Speaker 3: though I've made the right choice, but could. 1555 01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:07,480 Speaker 2: I be wrong. 1556 01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:08,760 Speaker 1: It's not fair to her. 1557 01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:11,520 Speaker 3: She needs somewhat stable people in her life, and if 1558 01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:13,880 Speaker 3: I leave, it's gone. I'm at a loss. I haven't 1559 01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:16,960 Speaker 3: done therapy for myself yet. I'm scared to do so. 1560 01:08:17,280 --> 01:08:19,360 Speaker 3: It's a lot of crazy in my closet that I 1561 01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:22,320 Speaker 3: don't want to relive. It's all a mess. Annie thoughts, 1562 01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,600 Speaker 3: did I do the right thing? What do I do 1563 01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:27,320 Speaker 3: to help my mom and dad and niece without compromising 1564 01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:27,960 Speaker 3: my decision? 1565 01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:30,439 Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. 1566 01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:34,880 Speaker 1: Wowee man, wow wee wowee. 1567 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,679 Speaker 3: I mean I think that you have to prioritize your 1568 01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:41,000 Speaker 3: own sanity. Yeah, and it really sucks, like losing that 1569 01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:44,439 Speaker 3: relationship with your niece, but for now, maybe the best 1570 01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:46,720 Speaker 3: thing is for you to put some space and then 1571 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:48,719 Speaker 3: maybe come back to it and later. 1572 01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:51,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean that seems like what you're doing, Like, 1573 01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:53,439 Speaker 1: I do think it's good for you to be like 1574 01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:56,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to ever go to the parent's house. 1575 01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:58,320 Speaker 1: I don't want to ever go to the sister's house. 1576 01:08:58,400 --> 01:09:01,320 Speaker 1: Parents can come to me. Yeah, I'm not moving. Yeah, 1577 01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:03,559 Speaker 1: I think that's a good boundary to set. 1578 01:09:03,720 --> 01:09:04,120 Speaker 2: I agree. 1579 01:09:04,240 --> 01:09:07,160 Speaker 1: And I think just doing more of that, like continuing 1580 01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:11,120 Speaker 1: boundaries and yeah, just just keep doing what you're doing, 1581 01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:14,479 Speaker 1: do yes, stay stay the course exactly exactly. But that 1582 01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:17,160 Speaker 1: is the end of that episode. We love you and 1583 01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:18,360 Speaker 1: see it tomorrow.