WEBVTT - Ep.6 "Who Ate The Peach?" feat. Drew Sidora from RHOA 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:07.160 We're just too unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:12.840 talks back. Hey, y'all, it's me Tam Baw. It is 0:00:12.960 --> 0:00:17.319 a j and this is we talk back on a 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:20.880 Black Effect podcast network. And guess what, we have something 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:25.720 special for you today. We have Drew Sadora from the 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:28.800 Real Housewives of Atlanta the newest cast member. Oh, it's 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:31.760 so exciting. So she's gonna be talking about She's gonna 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:34.519 be talking with us about a few things. We want 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:38.240 to know what the hell happened at the bachelor party 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:42.960 at Cynthia's bachelotte party. Also, where the fund did her 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:47.120 husband go for three days? No, I want to know 0:00:48.040 --> 0:01:00.920 who smash who here? So tune in. Oh my god, 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:04.640 we got Drew Sadora on our show. We're so excited 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:08.199 to have you today, and we really appreciate keep doing 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:12.120 our show. Yes, we made a happy guy. You know, 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:15.720 teamwork makes the dream work so beautiful. By the way, 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:20.000 you too, Yes, you're glowing. You're glowing. Hair is popping. 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:24.720 I'm a sayoud period, I'm Brasilian today. This is brilliant 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.080 or Cambodian. I think we said Cambodian. I think I'm 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:35.319 doing Brazilian today, you're Indian international. We are cultured period black, 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:40.240 so we definitely want to talk to you about your 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:44.800 peach and how you've been having some shades. Someone sitting 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:51.040 under your peach tree LaToya never heard that. That is good. Yes, 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:55.840 you could drop down on her next time. Yeah, I'm 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:59.680 gonna had to bring that back. That's a good one. Um. Yeah, 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:04.360 that's been interesting because for me, I was just excited 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:08.000 to get to know everybody, like we're we're grown women, 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:10.520 so it's like, naturally, you just want to get to 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:13.639 know people, connect and you know you're not gonna connect 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:17.799 with everybody, so it was just kind of immature, you know. 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:21.920 And I was completely blindsided that I was being judged 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:24.399 upon just like entering the door. Do you think it's 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.480 because who does that? Right? And you know, I kind 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.799 of I watched the show, so I'm trying to figure out, 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:32.600 you have the peach, You're already going to be permanently 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:33.799 on the show. As far as I'm gonna sern, I 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:37.079 don't know what's in the background, But do you think 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:39.280 that maybe the producers put her on to be like 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:41.799 the antagonist to try and get your peach like that 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:44.200 She thinks she has an opportunity to get your peach. 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:50.760 I she doesn't have a peach. Um, I'm not the producer, 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:52.799 so I don't know if she's gonna get a peach. 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:55.520 You know, I can say that. I feel like she 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:59.440 came on here a little thirsty um and just a 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:02.560 little bit kaboodles. I call her kaboodles because she just 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:06.280 does the absolute moment. I just honestly like, if it 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.080 is the producers, then she's a show girl and she's 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:12.000 being fake. And if she's being authentic and that's really her, 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:16.080 then I'm saying lose lose in my book, because you know, 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.680 I just feel like as women, as women of color, 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:22.959 especially after coming off of Black Lives Matters we had, 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:26.200 It's just like, why are we tearing each other down 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:28.000 like that and off of no basis Like I can 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.320 see if I did something, because I can give you 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.600 a couple of reasons to be mad, Like you want it, 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:34.840 you can get it, you know, I can give it. 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:38.960 So but it just seemed um inauthentic to me to 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:42.160 just pass judgment without really even getting to know me. 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:47.320 Right out the gate. She was talking about your character 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:49.160 on the game, like I don't like you because of 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:51.800 your character on the game, like it was just fresh 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:54.280 out of the gate, like y'all didn't really have any 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.200 real interaction. She was judging you off. It was nothing 0:03:57.240 --> 0:03:59.320 wrong with your hair on the first episode. I didn't 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.360 think so ever, it was nothing wrong with it. It 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:07.480 was covid. I was doing my own wigs. So but 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:10.080 I felt good about my wig. I felt great about it. 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:13.120 I was confident, and I was just like, I'm glad 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:14.760 you watched. You know. That's how I was like, I'm 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:17.000 glad you watched. Okay, you know what I mean. Moving 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:20.640 on next, I realized very quickly that I just she 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:23.200 wasn't my cup of tea. We didn't connect and and 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:25.920 that's okay. You know, it's okay. I'm okay with that. 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:28.600 So I'm okay. Out of the all the women that 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:31.520 you're you're dealing with on the show, who's your favorite? 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:37.320 Who do you feel like you connect with the most honestly? Um, 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:42.240 definitely Porsche. I mean we have a very genuine friendship. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.600 We have a lot of fun. Um. I find her 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:47.120 to be very honest, down to earth, like she's not 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:49.520 a show girl, Like what you see is what you get. 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:52.919 Our daughters played together. She's my neighbor, so it was 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.680 just a very genuine connection. Um, Cynthia, that's my rider 0:04:56.839 --> 0:05:00.560 die Um. She and Mike are both friends with Ralph 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.200 and I, so it's like we have a couple of 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.039 friends and that's you know, She's she's really like a 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:07.760 big ciss to me. So Um, I would say those 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:11.440 are my two. But I get along with pretty much everybody, Shamia, Candy, 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:13.880 I don't have no problems like those are all like 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.800 people except for just these two, you know what I mean. 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:27.039 Very bitter two would be LaToya and Kenya, right, those 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:31.200 two you don't have to say listen, I can feel 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:40.919 like energy through the screen looks SIPs t. So the 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:45.800 last episode, Baby, it was juicy. I enjoyed the episode. Girl, 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:50.160 I was watching God that I was watching the episode. 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:55.320 I had the running back. Okay, I was nervous because 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.680 and I mean for me, I have fun. I told 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.400 everybody what happened. I was excited about it. Bolo is amazing, 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:05.440 you know at what he does. But I saw some 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:07.919 things that I was like, yeah, I don't know if 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:10.480 they're gonna show all of that, which they did it. 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:14.159 They did it, but I was nervous for um, some 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:17.400 particular person that I was just like, oh, if they 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:20.640 showed what she did, I mean, it's gonna be really bad. 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.520 But they didn't. They didn't show everything right, and you know, 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:26.520 she's lucky she caught a pass on that one. Let 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:28.719 me tell you all right, So the scene one, y'all 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:31.599 are on like the cameras from the patio or something, 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:34.560 and they're looking in the window. If I can't tell 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:36.680 what you're doing since but it looked like you're willing 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:41.159 like that girl. And I was the screen talking out. 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:46.039 So Um, I was learning how to twork. Had taught 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:48.240 me how to t work because I really don't know 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:49.880 how to work. I didn't I didn't know how to 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:53.520 work at the time. So you know, everybody lap dances 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.480 and I was just, you know, next to the line. 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:57.080 And when it came to hime, I was like, I'm 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:01.480 about to learn everything to back home to my husband. 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:04.440 So that was my intention, and I was like the 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:07.279 girls were were rooting me on. It was comed for me, 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:11.080 so I felt good about what, you know, tricks I learned. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.040 Oh oh yeah, he what He flipped me over the 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:16.560 coffee table, gave me my little one to you know, 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:18.480 left is and it was it was great. It was 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.480 a bachelorette mad So do didn't feel bad about none 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:24.920 of it? So do you think that, um, because I 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.840 am a firm believer in giving men something to deal with, 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:31.880 because if you'd be a little bit too easy going, 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:34.840 you're making get up and go to Tampa for three 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:39.240 days without you knowing. So do you think maybe that 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.880 scene kinda put him in his place to let him know, 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:44.720 don't get too familiar with me. Yeah, you're you're my husband. 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:46.960 I've been you know, we've been married for a while. 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:49.440 But don't get too familiar to where you think you 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.600 just play with me on the type of is. Yeah. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:56.320 I think for you know, anybody who's married, it's like 0:07:56.600 --> 0:08:00.320 first and foremost marriage is hard. Like marriage is a 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:03.600 lot of work. And I think when you just have 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:06.440 two people that are committed, you're gonna have these evan 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:09.560 these flows and so yeah, for that situation and him 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.000 leaving for three days and we're actively in marriage counseling, 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:15.600 I did learn that as a wife. I mean we 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.960 talked about it on the show. His expectation it's a 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:21.880 little different than mine. He expects to have what respect 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:24.880 and sex three three times a week. So for me, 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:26.960 I do have to and I had to own that 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:29.520 I have to step it up in that area, you know, 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:32.319 of being more of a sexual being, making sure I 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.679 get my naps in so we can I can I 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:37.200 can submit to him in the way that you got 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:41.599 several dogs to be met. You sever, anybody listening, you 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.000 gotta step up your sex game, like women can be 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.959 up here with holding sex and expecting their husband and 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:49.920 be faithful. And so for me in marriage counseling, I 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:53.640 own that portion. So me going and learning some new tricks. 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.920 He's not complaining now, you know, but it is the truth. 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:00.440 Like whatever you do, we can do and do with better. 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:04.199 So you know, sometimes you have to, you know, just 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:07.079 teach them some things. And but the biggest thing is 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:10.439 I always stand behind telling the truth, um, you know, 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:15.280 being honest and transparent, um, but also learning how to submit. 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:17.800 And it's okay to say, you know what, I'm not perfect. 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.040 I'm gonna work on these areas because this is what 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:22.480 my husband is saying that he needs and it has 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:25.080 to be two way street. So but here I'll give 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.679 him more sex. He won't leave for three days? Are 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:31.400 you said? You're learning new tricks, okay, and that's good, 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:33.920 but they gotta learn some new tricks too. You're bringing 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:36.200 that same thing to the bed that you've been bringing 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.559 to the bed for years and years and years. We 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:42.040 shouldn't be the only you know, And that's where you 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:45.040 gotta get I get into my actress bag and we 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:47.079 do a little role play. I got me like a 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.480 little strobe light. You know, you gotta you gotta make 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:52.360 a creative so we we do little trips, you know, 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:55.040 we use our imagination and and it really keeps the 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:58.719 bedroom spicy. So I think, after, like you said, you've 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:00.800 been with somebody for like years and years and years, 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.960 you gotta find new ways to keep it engaging and exciting. 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:06.520 So y'all got that part right? That is very true. 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:12.520 What about bringing somebody else in there? Oh, Cynthia? Is 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:21.719 that now? I can honestly say, I've had thoughts about it, 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.640 and we'll go to the strip club, but I'm not there. 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:28.240 Like I don't judge women that do that. I commend 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.760 them for their confidence. But our marriage is not that 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:35.520 stable and I'm a little territorial and I'm not ready 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:37.920 to do that. We're just not strong enough I'll be 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:39.599 the first to admit we're not strong. So has that 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:42.319 ever came up in your relationship? We did a whole episode. 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:47.000 We had a gentleman who's been in uh five year 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:53.679 non monogamous, open relationship. So how ever presented that to you? 0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:56.720 What would you think of that? Like if you've been saying, 0:10:56.760 --> 0:11:00.599 I mean you guys, you guys have been and a 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:05.560 monogamous relationship her You've been married what six years? Right? Ye? 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:09.719 Six years? So let's just say tomorrow he comes in 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:12.760 and say, you know what, you know, I've been maybe 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.480 we should have an open relationship. How does that look like? 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:22.199 For you know, listen, I believe in honesty. I believe 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:25.839 in honesty, and I believe that if a man is 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.240 not being fulfilled, he has a right to speak up 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:32.200 and the wife should acquiesce to that. Um, I've never 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.920 been in that situation, so I can't honestly say how 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:38.480 would react? Like what I leave? What I think about it? 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.800 Like I really have to sit in that because I've 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:45.480 had thoughts of okay, three some kind of sounds sexy. 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:47.640 You know what I'm saying could turn me on. We 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.720 go to strip clubs, but it's like the to actually 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:52.959 do it. I feel like I couldn't do it, Like 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:54.719 when I really put real thought into it. It's like 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.199 not something I don't think I would be okay with. 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:00.559 You know, it's and that could change, you know, we'll 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:04.439 have to talk again in the future. Really, it's like 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:06.640 I don't I don't have all the answers, but I 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.439 just feel like where we are right now, our marriage 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:13.400 isn't strong enough. Now maybe if your marriage is strong enough, 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.400 you know what I mean, and my confidence is is 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:21.560 higher and we have better communicy, you know, then maybe 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:24.080 it could change. But like where we are right now, 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:27.400 I just can't even fathom the thought. Like I'm still 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:29.480 trying to figure out where he was, what he was. 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:32.920 I don't I'm not going to get in a business 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.079 because like I feel like both of our both of 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:36.679 us are like the type of friends, Like you can 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:38.120 tell me all the type of all the things you 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:40.120 want to tell me about your man. I may not 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:42.920 even ask for an update when you like him, I 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.040 love him. When you don't like him, I don't like 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:47.920 his ask. So all I want to know is that 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:51.319 you know what happened in Tampa. I'm not asking you 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.079 what happened in Tampa. But I want to know, do 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:54.959 you know what happened to Tampa who he was with 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.520 a little bit of a business. I will say, um, 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.400 and I don't want to tease too much, but in 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:08.400 marriage counseling, he did like kind of share some things 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:11.760 that shed a little more light. Um. And it was 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:15.480 good for me, Like I felt complete and knowing that 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:20.600 he was on his best behavior and in marriage counseling 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:22.520 he needed to do what he needed to do. And 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:25.839 it wasn't so much like running to someone. Um, it 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:28.480 was just running away from me at that moment, because 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:35.840 you know that I've been before. I've actually been ralphed before. 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:45.840 I ran away for a couple of days, Yes, because 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.560 I felt and you know, you kind of said something 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:50.600 recently where you said that you felt like the show 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:55.160 was helping you with your marriage. Um, I kind of felt. 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.360 I kind of feel like and at the time we 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.679 were also in therapy. I feel like me going to 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:03.200 Atlanta may have helped him straighten up a little bit. 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:06.360 I don't know. So now you're trying to bust it 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:08.240 wide open a little bit more for him because you 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:13.839 don't want him to go to outside resources to outsource 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:19.680 the vagina. That's you know what what I what I 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:23.520 realize is like, you know, people have their vices, So 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:28.680 it could be alcohol, drugs, cheating. For him, it was 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:34.520 going to the beach literally going to meditate and getting away, 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:38.400 just bringing separation to the both of us because it 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:40.880 could have I mean, when you think about people that 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:43.040 end up in a violent domestic situation, it's like they 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:45.000 they may not be abusers or they wanted to do 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.880 the issues because when you're so emotional, it's like he 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.280 made the best decision for our marriage to have a 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:55.160 chance at that time. And also when he was younger, um, 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:57.120 and this is what we learned the marriage counseling. He 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:00.680 would run away from home whenever he got too stressed 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:02.840 or his mom made him feel unappreciated. And so a 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.360 lot of what you bring it to your marriage is 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:08.560 the baggage of your past. And so once I realized 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.880 it wasn't about me, because like when you had to 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:14.880 run away, wasn't you just needed to get away? Was 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.800 it you needed to fulfill something? All of like what 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:25.600 was everything? Look I'm not the interview but kind of session, 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.040 it was just me I needed to I needed to 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:33.440 get away, literally, like seriously, I just needed I felt 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.640 like you were just familiar with me. You thought I 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.360 would never leave, and I just wanted you to feel 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:41.200 a little bit away. And that's bad because that's just 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.240 not what you do in a relationship, especially if you're 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.960 going through therapy and trying to figure things out. Because 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:48.440 you know that I'm I'm engaged. So that's my fiance's thing. 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:52.840 Like you left while we were in therapy. I'm like, 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.120 but it was after the first because first sounds the therapy, 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:58.520 it was the first session. It was like, the first 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:01.000 session ain't work. We need like six more. So I 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:04.200 understand rouble a little bit. And one thing I wanted 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:08.040 to say to you because um as I saw where 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:12.080 he said that, Um, you know, you didn't know what 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:14.560 was gonna be, what what we would see, what the 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.440 public would see as far as the episode, and you 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:21.960 were like counting your blessings every time the commercial came on. 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:24.680 And then you mentioned to him, well, I still don't 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:31.440 know what you did in Tampa. Is that deflecting because 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.680 you got over Tampa? Right? Did you get over Tampa? 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:40.160 Are we over Tampa? Now? Um? I am? I am 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.840 not completely healed, right, So I'll be honest, let me, 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:50.640 let me process this. So I am content and I 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:53.520 received the reason why. I think it's more of the 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:56.680 reason that I realized why he had to leave more 0:16:56.760 --> 0:17:00.200 so than his actions. So we've made an agreement, um 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.920 that you can't abandon your family. You can't just leave 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.600 because it gets hard, because that's what marriage is hard. 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:08.000 You can't just run, you can't be a runner. So 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:11.879 I am complete with that. But I feel like, you know, um, 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:16.560 me being open and honest and transparent, that was my 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.560 you know, intention was just to be like, this is 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:21.960 how you could be. You could just if he would 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:25.639 have said to me, I'm going away to Tampa. I 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:28.879 need a break, I would have been like, okay, you know, 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:31.960 all right. But I think the fact was it wasn't 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:33.920 that he actually went. It was that I didn't know 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:38.840 where he was and he was watching. But see you 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:42.480 better because my man, let's say I'm going to Tampa. 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:44.880 I would be like, we're going to Tampa. I don't 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:46.560 know if I would be able to be like, okay, 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:50.240 go ahead, no, no, no. When you're married for six years, 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:53.760 I'm like, oh, like I am happy when I need 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.280 my breaks and so but the difference is I'll tell 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:58.320 him like, I will get me a hotel for a 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:00.480 night or two, because everybody needs the of me time. 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:03.399 We got three kids, so no, no, no, we need 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.240 our own corners. Sometimes he'll go in the guest room. 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:08.679 Sometimes I go just because I want to watch my shows. 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:10.920 I want to heat on a certain temperature. He wants 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:13.159 it like, it's just certain things that you you need 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.480 a break. You're gonna need a break, but you have 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:19.520 to communicate that you need it and let your family 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:23.439 know where you're going. So my reason for communicating everything 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:25.600 on a trip was to let him know. This is 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:30.560 what you should do to your spots, is to be honest, open, transparent, 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:33.200 and then it's all good. Like that's what I feel. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:36.359 Even if you're like, hey, you're not given me enough sex. 0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:38.360 I'm about to go get a girlfriend to go cheat. 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:40.560 Let let it be my choice if I want to 0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:43.240 leave you or stay. Don't take my choice away from me. 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.399 So that was me. I'm gonna be honest even if 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:49.080 you don't like it. Look the stripper flip me over. 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:52.639 You can't be I didn't cheat. I was at a 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:56.000 bachelor party. I mean, yeah, I tworked, but if everything 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:58.359 was good, this is what I meant by deflecting, Because 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:00.960 if let's say Ralph never went to Damn and everything 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:03.639 was good in our relationship, would you have had that 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:06.639 much fun at what you have left? Blowing flipping on 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:12.439 the table? Girl? You see, That's what I meant by 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:16.040 dislike me because you had such fun because you said 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:18.320 it in tample, I don't know what you did, so ship, 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:19.879 I don't wanna do it. I'm gonna gonna have fun 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:24.760 at this is a bachelor party. I honestly, I honestly 0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:28.600 feel like if he hadn't left and it was still 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.000 COVID and I have been in the house for seven months, 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:35.120 I had three achille rupture surgery. That was my first 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:38.879 bachelorette party that I ever been to, I feel like 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:43.720 I want to do the same thing. I feel like 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:47.480 as a woman, I was living for me. Now it 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:50.639 was so much not about him because he goes to 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:54.480 the strip club. He goes with his friends to the 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:58.080 strip club, and it's lap like that's just part of 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:01.359 like male culture. So oh, I think women can have 0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:06.600 the same fund then happen. We would like to think so, 0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:11.560 but we already know men don't fool They do well 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:13.679 he's gonna have the hes, gonna have to like get 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:17.120 emotionally stronger, and he gonna have to understand that we're equals. 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:20.359 I'm not living in that men are but women or 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:23.920 those gender roles, No, whatever you do, women can do. 0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:28.359 I am a feminist. I women empowerment, and as long 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:30.360 as you don't cross that line. I feel like everybody's 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:32.880 line is different. Like I said, if you and your 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.080 may agree on to open marriage, that's y'all line. Y'all 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:37.879 line is over there. If your line is having you know, 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:41.640 three something, that's your line. My line is here. It's 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:45.160 a little bit closer, but that's our line. Don't cheat, 0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:48.680 don't lie. That's my tolerant you know those things I 0:20:48.720 --> 0:20:52.359 can um not tolerated the cheating, the lying, and the 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:56.639 lack of transparency. I agree, Yeah, I agree. I mean 0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:59.320 that's why it's a lining for me, right, And that's 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:02.880 why this that our our podcast is we talk back. Yeah, 0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:05.520 and I mean it's just about female empowerment. I won't 0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:07.480 necessarily say I'm a feminist because I like to be 0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:14.480 taken care of at least. I like to chack. I 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:17.960 like to be called sweetie. Like, do you think you're 0:21:18.160 --> 0:21:23.840 your your profession kind of do you think you're pro 0:21:23.920 --> 0:21:26.240 fashion and kind of challenges like you're you're marriage a 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:30.680 little bit like what you do for a living. Oh yeah, 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:34.639 it definitely does. You know why, because my husband is 0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:40.119 not an entertainment and he's incorporate and that's a different structure. 0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:43.760 And then for me, it's like I cannot have a 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:46.440 job today and like be on a series tomorrow. My 0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:50.720 schedule is not repetitious. So having kids and a husband's like, 0:21:50.800 --> 0:21:52.720 where's my dinner? Oh? Well, I was working, you know, 0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:54.960 I had to film something until one in the morning. 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:57.560 It makes for just you have to be down for 0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:00.760 the roller coaster, and initially he is not used to that, 0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:04.680 and that that brings challenges, you know, because I'll be 0:22:04.760 --> 0:22:07.080 sleepy and he'd be ready to get it in and 0:22:07.160 --> 0:22:09.600 I'm like, well, I worked, you know what. We gotta 0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:13.160 find times to get like on the same day, because 0:22:13.200 --> 0:22:16.200 really all he cares about sex, Like he's a great husband. 0:22:16.240 --> 0:22:19.560 I think aquaries. I googled him. He's an aquary. That's 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:22.600 the only thing I looked up about him. My fiance 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:24.640 is an aquaries. Girl. I know what you're going through. 0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:33.800 I know, yes, I know you smart. You are smart. 0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:36.120 That's a lot of I'm not a stalker. Now, that's 0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:39.080 the only thing I wanted to know. From the first episode. 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:43.240