WEBVTT - Ep. 20: The Bent Christmas Spectacular 0:00:02.000 --> 0:00:06.920 Do gingers have souls at this one. I'm a fishing 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:09.120 vesta that every time he hits the water, the cool 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:12.040 kids beat the piss out of him. If you hate 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:16.000 and fixed legos, don't ever go there like that will 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:20.040 be your personal health. Can find my scissors anywhere, man 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:31.159 will Merry Christmas, degenerate anglers from me Joe Surmelie and 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:35.960 me Miles Nulty, and welcome to the bent Christmas Spectacular 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:40.880 that we sincerely hope none of you are listening to 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:45.320 today on actual Christmas, we truly hope you are spending 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:49.440 actual Christmas Day with family and friends, pounding egg nog 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.360 and stacking up those Amazon gift for seats you can 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:55.440 buy the new rod that you really wanted for Christmas. 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:59.880 Genuine question, how does your family fixed egg like? What 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:05.520 go to tradition? This is important, It's plain, Jane, But 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:08.080 you asked, so now I have to give a shout 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:11.160 out to Halo Farms at Trenton, New Jersey staple because 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:14.399 there's no better pre made eggnog on the planet than 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.080 Halo Farms. If I could ship you some without its spoiling, 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:20.440 I would, But that said, not like chilled chilled Halo 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:24.240 knog springs the nutmeg, and I traditionally go Maker's mark. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:28.840 I like bourbon over rum. However, if you want to 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:30.640 make an extra sweet and GIRLI go a little crown 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:33.160 Robe vanilla. You don't. You don't do the you don't 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:34.920 do the warm meg nug thing. I thought that was 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:37.200 like what what people did out east. That's not that's 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:40.119 not what you do. No, I don't. My family never has, 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.039 and I know that's the thing. We just never did that. 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:44.800 I personally like it chilled, and I'd be afraid I'd 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:47.240 overwarm it and just end up with pancakes, you know 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:49.520 what I mean. So since you brought it up, I'm 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:53.240 really not a fan of any hot or warm alcoholic 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:56.080 beverages like hot Toddies. And you don't do the hotti No, 0:01:56.360 --> 0:02:00.080 it's I've had them. I don't know. Like alcohol is not. 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:01.960 It's not supposed to be hot to me. I don't 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:04.280 like it. See I I can't go with you on 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.880 the hot Toddy, but I'm with you on the eggnog. Eggnog. 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:09.280 I'm like, I'm totally with you on And I think 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:10.880 I always thought it was because I grew up in 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:13.239 a warm climate, right like one of those places that 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.000 you dog on because it doesn't have seasonally appropriate weather 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.520 for Christmas, therefore it really doesn't have Christmas. But that's 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:22.320 the whole other thing. I'm not I'm not touching that, 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:27.239 but dude, when it's eighty degrees outside, warm eggnog is gross. Yeah, 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.639 I would imagine it is. You already think it's not 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:33.160 something you want to consume, but imagine when it's like 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:35.000 when you're sweaty and someone's like, here, I have a 0:02:35.000 --> 0:02:40.000 hot cup eggnogg. But my family had this super special 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.440 eggnog drink that they always used to make and and 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.240 so I don't know where it came from, but it 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:47.720 was very very specific. You would in a blender, you 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:53.360 would combine eggnog, eggnog, ice cream, crushed ice, spiced rum, 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.480 and brandy and you blend it all up into like 0:02:56.520 --> 0:03:01.120 this North Pole Carnival cruise boat drink and then and 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:03.320 then a little little little bit of nut make for garnish, 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:07.320 and uh, dude, it's so good. And that for all 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:09.240 of you out there who live in in hot climates 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.720 and still do have real Christmas like and you want 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.680 to feel jolly, highly recommend doing that. If you can 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:17.200 find the eggnog ice cream because that's that's key and 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:19.280 it's kind of hard to find. So there's my holiday tip. 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:21.320 Damn dude. You know, I got a lot of places 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.760 around here, including Halo Farms and Trent Trent, New Jersey 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.640 staple and make a delicious eggnog ice cream as well. 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.600 If we could be sponsored by them, I'd be okay 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:30.560 with it. I would drink the ship out of what 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:33.680 you just described and so good, not kidding, I already 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:36.200 know at some point my wife's gonna listen to this 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:40.080 and go, Oh, that drink Myles was talking about sounds delicious. Yeah, 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:43.480 we should make those. And we're big, we're big Peny 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:45.680 Colota fans here, so I can get down on this. 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:48.960 I like that. Yeah, do that seriously, like honestly, do that, 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:50.520 And I want to hear how it comes out. And 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:52.200 if you guys try it, which I hope you do, 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.440 let me know how it goes for you. Anyway, we 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.040 hope that all of you out there are off doing 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.720 whatever Christmas e things bring you joy, unless you know 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:04.560 you don't celebrate Christmas for religious or other reasons, in 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:06.680 which case we hope you're out taking advantage of the 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:11.520 fact that all the fishing spots are virtually empty either way, though, 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:15.240 good chance that by the time you listen to this show, 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:18.880 Christmas will be over and this will just be an 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:21.840 annoying out of season episode that you have to sit through. 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:25.200 And you're welcome for all that, oh man, but we 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:28.880 have to press on because it's Friday, and doesn't that 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:31.920 it's Friday, man, that's the show. And before we get 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:34.040 to all the auditory gifts that we've wrapped for you, 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:36.799 quick reminder that this podcast is fueled by Black Rifle 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.760 Coffee and thank God for that because when my children 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:42.279 come tearing into my room at five am Christmas morning, 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:45.640 I'm gonna need that before I can even look at them. Basically, 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:49.080 so go to Black Rifle Coffee dot com backslash meetator 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:51.320 to get your hands on some and use the promo 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:54.800 code meat Eater at checkout to take off your order 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:57.160 in there, whether you meant to or not. Joe, you 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:00.520 brought up this interesting point right, So we're in the 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:07.440 strange like pre post Christmas time warp because we're recording 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:12.480 this right now before Christmas. Yes, and and this episode 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:17.359 will release on Christmas Day, yes it will. But we 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:22.080 don't expect anyone to actually listen to it until after Christmas. 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:25.320 We do not, yes, so, so what everyone's hearing are 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:29.560 the voices of past Miles and Joe talking about events 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:33.160 that future Miles and Joe are going to experience, intended 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:36.600 for an audience where that future has already passed. The 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:40.440 only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing. 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:45.640 That's us dude. Oh yeah, yeah, and that's all right. 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.120 Just don't overthink it. I mean, it's it's a fishing podcast. 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:51.120 Christmas ship god say, but if you want to go 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:54.120 that heavy root. Right now, Present Joe is probably losing 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:56.640 a ship because his kid has decided to put the 0:05:56.680 --> 0:06:00.320 stickers on her Barbie Camper van herself instead of waiting 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:02.960 for President Joe to do that for her. There are tears. 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:06.560 President Joe is yelling, what's present Miles likely up to? 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:11.440 At this point, Present Miles is probably wishing he could 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:14.640 irish up his coffee because his son has gone into 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:18.640 full on Toddler dictator mode, demanding presence and refusing breakfast 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.599 is what I'm guessing. And and then I'm getting annoyed 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:24.200 and starting to lose it. And then my brilliant wife 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:25.839 steps in and says, why don't we all just go 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.800 take a walk, and we get outside, and she's much 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:30.920 smarter than me, and everything works out fine. That's my guess. 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:33.600 Ah see, now that's that's pretty close, except that we 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:35.320 won't take a walk. Everybody will just go to their 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:37.000 separate rooms and be like, you go take your ship 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.400 and go to your room. Daddy's going in the garage 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:41.919 for a little while. Anyway, in the spirit of the 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.760 season and this show, um, we have pulled together a 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.480 whole series of holiday greetings from some of our favorite 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:50.960 regular contributors here on Ben and we'll be sprinkling those throughout, 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:54.920 just like shitty candied fruit nuggets an ant Linda's concrete fruitcake. 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:57.800 After all, I mean, we want to be surrounded by 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.720 our friends for Christmas in this digital world where created too, 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:03.520 So yeah we do. And kicking it off for us 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.240 one of our more i might even say, our most 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:09.279 esteemed guests, Yeah totally. You probably know him as a 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:12.520 famous actor, but we just know him as the proprietor 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:16.560 of the finest bait shopping Upstate New York. Here's ray 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:22.320 leo to himself. Hey, how you doing this? Is ray 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:26.120 at Rayliota's Bait and Tackle and Pulaska New York Wish 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:30.280 and Use Merry Christmas shops open today from ten to 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:34.480 seven and today only, everything in stock is half price. 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:38.040 We've also got free canalis made by Karen and a 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:40.840 big pot of pasta lajol made by my mother in law. 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:49.720 So come on by. I'm just with you today. It's 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:58.240 Christmas putty stupid. First, I just want to thank Ray 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.280 because he actually called us. He called us asking if 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:04.280 he could give a holiday greeting on our show exclusively, 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:06.880 which is huge for us, you know. And I also 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:09.400 got to say, um, you can just feel the compassion 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:13.080 oozing from from every word that man speaks. And you know, 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:15.360 I'm realizing that they were going to keep that streak 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:18.240 going because in our next segment, we're interviewing Captain and 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:22.160 Lake Erie fishing wizard Ross Robertson, a guy who's about 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:25.440 as empathetic as a gator snatching puppies from the retirement community. 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:31.360 Oh it was a reference. Didn't you see the viral 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:34.000 video the dude pulling his puppy out of that gator's jaws. 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:36.360 It's it's current events. I thought it was. It was 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:40.680 very heartwarming. Yeah, And besides, you know Ross knows that 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:42.320 I'll only bust his balls out of love. He and 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:45.480 I have a long history and a fish together many times. 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.640 But there is still much I don't know about Ross. 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:51.040 All those questions and more we answered in a Rapid 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:55.679 Fire interview segment Covering Water. I'm going in. I can 0:08:55.720 --> 0:09:08.559 hold it all right today in front of the firing 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:12.520 squad on covering Water, our news segment, Please welcome my 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:17.240 dear old friend, Captain Ross Robertson. What's going on, buddy, 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:20.000 I've already jumped ship here and I'm not I'm friend, 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:25.720 not acquaintance, moving up the world. I normally I'm just 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:29.800 guess guest guests. Guy. We picked up in the parking 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.199 lot at the ramp, Ross Robertson. I gotta say, nobody 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:33.560 can see you, but I love it. You have the 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:36.680 full orange beard going right now. That's very festive for 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:39.640 this time of year. It looks warm, your face looks warm. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:44.560 Ginger close. That's that's the whole game anyway. Anyway, So 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:47.120 to reiterate how covering water works, this is where we 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:51.040 um rapid Fire a bunch of of essentially useless information 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:53.920 about a notable fishing personality at you, guys, And and 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:55.839 the way the game is played here is, um, we're 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.640 gonna put two minutes on the clock and Miles and 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:01.160 I are gonna go back and forth and rapid fire 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:03.080 questions at you, and we want to answer as many 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:05.880 of them as we can within that two minutes. So 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:09.280 you can't think too long about them, and you can't 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:11.720 pontificate on them. You just gotta kind of just go. 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:14.080 You just got whatever pops into your head as the 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:18.440 answer for association, free association, Yes, a poodle, a noodle, 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:22.600 a doodle, whatever, from as as as basically two minutes 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:27.880 and ALUs your career correct, let's go correct. And but 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.360 then what we'll do is is you take the biggest 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:33.080 career ending answer and we'll give you one minute on 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:36.199 the clock at the end to expand and elaborate on 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:40.480 that answer. To beg for forgiveness, I got and beg 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:44.120 for forgiveness exactly. So, uh, if you're clear on the rules, 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:46.280 we can we can get going here. Miles, I'll hit 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:48.400 the first question and we'll roll from there. Ross Are 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:51.720 you ready to play? No, but let's go any home, Okay. 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:55.960 Two minutes starts now, four loco or vodka Red Bull 0:10:57.040 --> 0:11:01.520 Vodka Red Bull for sure? Crawler hard? Is fishing brilliant 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.360 or boring? To? Did you about to get whooped? Right now? 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:10.679 It's brilliant? You moving on? Where's Christmas gift you ever got? 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:15.360 Probably something a big ball? Nothing from Joe Strommelly okay? 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:21.280 Which is more delicious? Walleye or perch? Perch? Actually okay? 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:27.200 Best walleye fishery in the country outside the Great Lakes 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:29.560 some Canadian lake that I can't even think of because 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:33.480 we're on time. Of that name. One thing most ice 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:39.760 anglers do wrong don't move enough. Most critical electronic on 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:43.720 your boat. Um my son, our GPS, my homing bird 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:49.280 for sure? Greatest angler of all time? Huh probably Alander. 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:52.679 I thought he was gonna go Ross Robertson. Species you've 0:11:52.720 --> 0:12:01.120 never caught but hope to someday. Uh, God you that 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:08.199 should be the simplest one. Taking too long? Billfish? Yeah, 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:14.959 guy go Miles. Gobi's invasive problem species are great bait fish, 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:18.840 great bait fish, yummy, m Okay. You can spend eight 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.120 hours in a pop up with any celebrity. Who is it? 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:27.360 Anybody but josephm Elly, um or it's gotta be some 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:30.160 hot chick. I mean, like paym Anderson in the nineties. 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.880 Let's go I love that you got the time that 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:34.760 we'll talk about it later. Good good on you for 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:39.080 the nineties. They'll go ahead. Do gingers have souls? Not 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:44.240 this one spring or fall wall eyes? If you could 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:49.760 only pick one spring. What's the most annoying thing that 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:59.959 clients do? Breathe? Man? And you know, like the time 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:02.679 were actually stopped on the last question there, and like 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.360 if there was a career end or you got it 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:09.600 in just at the buzzer, dude, like right just right there. 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.680 So I'm gonna I'm gonna put a minute, I'm gonna 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:18.360 put a minute back. I'm gonna put a minute back 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.920 on the clock here that starts now. And you can 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:24.400 expand or elaborate on any one of your answers. I mean, 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.560 obviously the client breathing thing, because I'm good venturing to 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:30.800 take somewhere of those you know, no, I mean, you know, 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.360 guiding is probably uh and I know Miles knows this. 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:38.240 It's a very rewarding but very challenging thing. And a 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:42.360 lot of times people won't allow you to help them, 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.920 and a lot of people don't they know, you know, 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:47.680 what needs to happen because you're playing chess and they're 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:51.959 playing checkers. And sometimes people just being there like I mean, 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.400 they just they don't listen to anything you're saying from 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:57.440 from from step one, and it puts you behind. By 0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:59.120 the time they realize that, you know, the day is 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:02.040 over or the opportunity has been missed. You know, maybe 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.200 it's that you've spoken to fish, or you haven't switched, 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:07.400 or or the bite has changed, the bite is over 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:10.559 with and the good guide clients are the ones that 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:13.520 have open minds and will actually listen to what you're saying. 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:16.240 And most people are not that way. They try to think. 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:17.400 And you know, a lot of the guys that I 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.280 have are successful people. They own their own business and 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.040 they're trying to outthink me when they just should just 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.600 be paying attention to what's going on and helping allowing 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:27.960 me to help them, because that's ultimately what makes a 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:30.360 successful day. I've been there, done that. I'm doing it 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:32.360 for them, not for me. That was like a minute 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:33.720 ten and I'll give it to you. That was pretty 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:35.120 That was pretty tight on the mat. I let you 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.680 go a couple of extra seconds but that was fun, 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:41.520 and we we have confirmed that you do not have 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:44.080 a soul, which I've I've known for almost over a 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:47.680 decade at this point. Anyway, thank you for taking part 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:49.880 in covering What are my friends have? But I don't 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.640 talk to you before then? Haven't married Christmas? Happy New Year? 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:55.280 Thank you. I feel like I've only lost ten percent 0:14:55.280 --> 0:15:02.160 of my fan base. Wow, Al Lindner, you are batting 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:05.760 a thousand in this segment so far as reduced angler 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:09.920 of all time. That's uh, that's that's high praise right there. 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:13.280 Kudos do you, sir? Now number you wrote in after 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.280 the first Covering Water we did to tell us that 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:16.960 you dug the segment, so we're gonna keep it going. 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:19.600 If you have someone in mind you'd like to hear 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:23.600 peppered with questions both inane and illuminating, tell us if 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:25.480 we think it's a good idea, we'll try to get 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:27.640 on the show, and we'll also give you credit for 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.480 sending us the idea. I do know one person who 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:32.600 will not be on Covering Water, and that's our resident 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:36.240 West Coast steel head expert, Skatchet Johnson. It's not that 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:38.120 we don't think Skatchet would make for a good interview. 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:41.120 It's it's more a format problem, Like he's not really 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.720 like a quick on his feet kind of thinker, works 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:46.720 his way through deep questions the same way he swings 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:50.200 runs slowly and methodically. We also, I feel I couldn't 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.200 really grill him on on West Coast Steelhead right now 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:53.880 because I get the impression he hasn't caught one in 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:57.720 a while. You never know he has, It's been kind 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:00.680 of slow. He did, however, manage to record a Christmas 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:04.200 greeting for all of you. This is your old steel 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.640 hidden buddy Scatchet Johnson out of here in Oregon, wishing 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:17.160 you a green Christmas, Happy holidays. I was gonna tie 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:20.160 up a dozen winners, hope to swing on the lower 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:23.560 clack and see if the fish you're feeling festive, But 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:30.960 I can't find my scissors anywhere. Man, Oh, well, what's 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:37.120 hope the fish are an old dead next year. I 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:39.320 can almost taste the piney tang and wood smoke of 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.960 a Pacific Northwest steelhead camp when I hear Scatchet's voice. Man, 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:46.440 it's evocative. So there's a lot going on there, but 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:48.440 it's not as evocative as the book that I'm going 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:52.000 to cover in this week's Freaking Philistines, which also just 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:56.160 happens to be set on a Pacific Northwest Steelhead River. Yeah, 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:57.600 this is one of those books that I know I 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:00.040 should read. In fact, I've been meaning to read it 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:04.080 for over a decade now, but I think the guilt 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:06.560 over not having read it already just makes it harder 0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:08.639 for me to make myself pick up a copy. You 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:11.560 know what I mean, I do. I totally get that 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.280 that that guilt just kind of creates a block. But 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.920 I'm not judging. I'm just saying, you really should read 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:19.680 the book, like I think you will appreciate it when 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.119 you do, and it's that good. I love that book. 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.200 I know, I know, I know. Maybe I'll make it 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:27.560 a new Year's resolution anyway. This week on Freak and Philistines, 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:29.439 the segment where we tell all of you ingrads to 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.400 put down your screens and read a goddamn book once 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:34.520 in a while, Miles is going to tell you about 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:39.320 the classic David James Duncan novel The river Y. What's 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:41.680 a fasting? It's a guy who doesn't care about books. 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:49.000 Are interesting films and things, but I'm fasting movie adaptations 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:53.600 of books are almost always inferior, with certain exceptions. The Godfather, 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:56.320 Fight Club, High Fidelity, and The Princess Bride come to mind, 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.760 but by and large we all know Hollywood screws up 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.960 our favorite author's visions. As far as fishing books go, 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:07.040 The River Wy might offer the most egregious offense. I 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:10.720 say might because I've never actually seen the movie. I 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:13.880 haven't seen it because I refused to watch a complex, thoughtful, 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:17.240 and hilarious book turned into a cheesy rom com starting 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:20.919 the backup quarterback from Friday Night Lights. Sitting aside my 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:26.040 casting skepticism, The original author, David James Duncan, disavowed said 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:28.159 movie and tried to get his name removed from the 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:31.960 project after seeing it. That's never a good sign, and 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.720 in this case, it's a genuine tragedy, because The River 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:39.120 Wy is probably my favorite fishing book ever. We meet 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:43.439 the protagonist, Gus Orviston, just after he's barely managed to 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:46.119 graduate from high school, squeaking by with a two point 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:49.280 three g p A and taking an extra year to 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:52.679 get there. Gus may not be a traditional scholar, but 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:56.040 he is a fishing prodigy, and he's about to finally 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:59.400 achieve his dream. He's moving out of his parents house 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.120 to a cabin next to a river, where he will 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:06.880 live out his ideal schedule, which, once adjusted for thorny 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:11.359 necessities like sleep, food, and minimal work, allows him to 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:14.639 fish fourteen and a half hours a day, seven days 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:17.760 a week, and that works out to about four thousand 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:21.840 angling hours per year. Gus quickly learns a somewhat familiar 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:25.600 lesson in this genre of fiction, getting exactly what you 0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:29.879 want can lead to disappointment. From there, Gus embarks on 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:33.320 a pretty standard coming of age novel journey. Since fishing 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:35.400 all the time doesn't actually make him happy, he has 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:37.920 to figure out what will, and we watch young Gusts 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:42.120 stumble his way into wisdom, friendships, and of course, romance. 0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:45.199 I can see why Hollywood would want to turn this 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:48.879 book into Sleep List in Seattle With Fishing, the basic plot, 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:53.160 when stripped of Duncan's wit, insight, and brilliantly strange characters, 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:58.159 isn't all that compelling, But the book itself is rich, thoughtful, funny, 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:02.120 and and unexpected. On every page, it captures the experience 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:05.399 of an awkward and overly analytical teenager with a phishing obsession. 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:09.000 It's layered with Duncan's deep knowledge of religious and philosophical 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:12.080 traditions from around the world, but he employs that knowledge 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:14.920 to progress the story, so it never feels like he's 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:18.800 just showing off. Finally, the book and its characters capture 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:21.520 all the many ways that fishing is a great metaphor 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:25.320 for the diversity of the American experience, from high minded 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:29.520 fly fishing literary snobs like Gus's father, who he calls 0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:32.760 h twoo, to down home as salt of the earth, 0:20:33.080 --> 0:20:36.639 baits soaking rednecks like Gus's mother, who he calls Ma. 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.679 For example, here are a few passages from a chapter 0:20:40.760 --> 0:20:46.160 called Being Educated and Getting brung Up. When people are kids, 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:49.119 their parents teach them all sorts of stuff, some of 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:53.240 it true and useful, some of it absurd hogwash example 0:20:53.280 --> 0:20:57.119 of the former, don't crap your pants example of the latter, 0:20:57.359 --> 0:21:01.919 Columbus discovered America. This is why puberty happens. The purpose 0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:04.960 of puberty is to shoot an innocent and gullible child 0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:08.400 full of nasty glandular secretions that manifest in the mind. 0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:12.000 Is confusion in the innards, as horny nous upon the skin, 0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.640 as pimples and on the tongue is a cock sure 0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:18.080 venomous disbelief in every piece of information, true or false, 0:21:18.400 --> 0:21:21.800 gleaned from one's parents since infancy. H two O was 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:24.520 of the opinion that a parent's most sacred duty was 0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:28.600 the education of his children. MA adhered to a more 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:32.439 primitive philosophy, holding the child will educate himself and that 0:21:32.480 --> 0:21:35.400 a parent's job is to simply get him brung up. 0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:39.880 But education as provided by H two proved to consist 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:42.280 of no end of fine words and no beginning of 0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:46.639 practical instruction except in fly fishing, while getting brung up, 0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:49.560 as overseen by MA, proved to consist of no fine 0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:52.520 words at all, yet nearly everything my brother and I 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:54.919 can do with our bodies and hands as a result 0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:57.520 of something Ma taught us when it came to getting 0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:01.080 us brung up full of know how, good food, spunken savvy. 0:22:01.280 --> 0:22:04.880 There was never a better than Mam as for matters 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:06.880 such as what is the meaning of life? For how 0:22:06.880 --> 0:22:09.800 to seek it? Or where or why? She farted out 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:13.119 such cornpone cantankerous opinions that we were forced to plug 0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:15.920 our noses, bail out of the nest, and start looking 0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:20.199 for answers ourselves. If you haven't already, go read The 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:22.880 River Why, And even if you have, it's probably time 0:22:22.920 --> 0:22:25.560 to read it again. I personally give copies of this 0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:28.000 book to every teenager I know who's even a little 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:31.080 bit interested in fishing. I just don't tell them. There's 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:37.359 also a movie version. And hey, if that felt just 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:39.959 a little too elevated and culture, don't worry. Here's Atlantic 0:22:40.000 --> 0:22:42.440 City z own striper surf legend, Bob the Garbage Man 0:22:42.600 --> 0:22:47.440 wishing all of you's a merry Christmas. Let's destroyed for 0:22:47.560 --> 0:22:50.800 chunking expert Bob the Garbage Man Briton and a new 0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:54.840