Speaker 1: Hello, welcome. Do we know his parenting? I bet no,
Speaker 1: I'm Peter McNerney. Were parents. We're here, we're talking. We're
Speaker 1: talking the real ship about parenting. Just step one in
Speaker 1: and here resting. How skitterly, Bob, we're free form jazz singers. Now,
Speaker 1: have you ever seen that YouTube video of I'm really
Speaker 1: blinking right now? The actress from Sex and This, Kim
Speaker 1: Cat Kim Catt. Yes, it's so good. It's so good.
Speaker 1: Why do we both know that? Because it's a perfect
Speaker 1: video skittered a bar if you just want to see.
Speaker 1: She's with her boyfriend and she's like, you know, we
Speaker 1: just like to hang and experiment, like and he is
Speaker 1: he playing the bass? Yeah, something like that. Oh, he
Speaker 1: is real serious. And she's like the fox went down
Speaker 1: to the avenue and said, but it's so confident and
Speaker 1: so embarrassing. She has no idea how lame it is.
Speaker 1: It's perfect. It's maybe it's not unlike you, who I
Speaker 1: know exactly how lame I am? Yeah. Anyway, parenting, parenting, parenting,
Speaker 1: that's what we're doing every day, every second. So are
Speaker 1: we our kids are bad lately? I don't. I think
Speaker 1: it's just the stress of everything, right, now they're not.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, the last two days have been
Speaker 1: market different, positive compared to the terror that you speak of. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well yeah, I mean there was a bit of a
Speaker 1: melt on yesterday because we went to Brooklyn and had
Speaker 1: a big fun day and they got real tired and
Speaker 1: melted down a bit. But overall great, Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: they're also very adorable. But I had a very funny
Speaker 1: story from the other night, which is Naven was having
Speaker 1: a huge tantrum and she was like, I was trying
Speaker 1: to put her in pajamas, so she's like naked and angry,
Speaker 1: and um, I pulled some pajamas out of the drawer
Speaker 1: and she was so mad and she wanted to put
Speaker 1: them back in the drawer. Um. But instead of throwing
Speaker 1: them back in the drawer, she Marie Condo rolled them
Speaker 1: back up very angrily and carefully and then put them
Speaker 1: back in the drawer. And it was because we've like
Speaker 1: we started rolling up the kids clothes because it's just
Speaker 1: easier to see every But it was just so funny
Speaker 1: to watch a three year old do an angry Marie
Speaker 1: Condo careful. I was like, wow, this is really my daughter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well she that's how she thinks folding happens. That's how
Speaker 1: she sees me do it, and angrily, Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: want to do this folding. I'm going to roll it.
Speaker 1: It's just so funny. I love opening those doors and
Speaker 1: seeing all those little close burritos close. Yeah, they do
Speaker 1: look cute, all their little clothes. It's like it's like
Speaker 1: looking at a sushi display. Although my cousin told me
Speaker 1: once that she doesn't fold her kids clothes at all
Speaker 1: because kids clothes are so tiny. She just throws them
Speaker 1: all in the drawer. And I was like, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: That's what I used to do until you made me
Speaker 1: watch Marie Condo. Yeah, and then I got into it.
Speaker 1: Marie Condo, who I have to say, stole my whole
Speaker 1: system for my clothes that I've been using for years.
Speaker 1: I actually don't really do a burrito. I do more
Speaker 1: of a flat Um. Yeah, well she doesn't do burritos,
Speaker 1: but for small kids clothes, I do what kids close,
Speaker 1: I do a full role. She's also way more careful
Speaker 1: about the way she does it, like she can kind
Speaker 1: of do it into like lay it on its end,
Speaker 1: but kind of in a triangle. So it says standing up,
Speaker 1: even if you don't have the other clothes to sandwich
Speaker 1: in place. And I'm not that particular. I just like
Speaker 1: to be able to see everything. Yeah. No, I've gotten
Speaker 1: really down where I had a folded outward and in
Speaker 1: a certain side so that when it's in there, you
Speaker 1: can see what's printed on the shirt, because the first
Speaker 1: time I did, I do it all inward and you
Speaker 1: don't know which shirt is which. Oh I see I
Speaker 1: have a nearing hotward for years. This well I'm catching up.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, we is this boring? Is this interesting? This
Speaker 1: is fascinating? Everyone loves it. My friends and I, um we.
Speaker 1: I've said this before in the podcast, but we use
Speaker 1: this app called Marco Polo where we send each other
Speaker 1: videos and you can it's kind of like chatting with people,
Speaker 1: but you don't have to schedule a time to FaceTime.
Speaker 1: You just leave a video message. And so I do
Speaker 1: this thing whenever I whenever I feel like I'm rambling
Speaker 1: onto along, and I suddenly realized that no one wants
Speaker 1: to listen to this, I will be like, is this interesting?
Speaker 1: And then we all just started doing it. Like anytime
Speaker 1: someone starts trailing off, they're just like, is this interesting
Speaker 1: so funny because I'll walk by and hear Marco Polo
Speaker 1: is going, and I've heard that phrase a lot of time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just like a nice note dissolve, like I think,
Speaker 1: because I think when you hang out with other like
Speaker 1: comedy type people, it's like hard not to be constantly
Speaker 1: aware of like whether you're creating good content. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like life? Yeah, well, because I've
Speaker 1: used I've been in marco polo groups with other people,
Speaker 1: like bigger groups, and when you're with people who do
Speaker 1: are not like people you know from like improv or
Speaker 1: stand up or whatever, they're like people will just ramble
Speaker 1: for so long sometimes like and you're like, this person
Speaker 1: is not editing themselves at all. Like it's just this
Speaker 1: person has never watched a four or five minute video
Speaker 1: of themselves doing improv, that's for sure. Anyway, Um, I
Speaker 1: lost my mind this weekend. Yeah, but emotional things going on,
Speaker 1: very busy but very exciting stuff. But ah, so I
Speaker 1: did my trick show on Saturday, and I was in
Speaker 1: an emotional state. Um, I've been arguing with you a
Speaker 1: little bit that day, but I also had sweet things
Speaker 1: going on, and Bryn told me me a lot that day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, we don't need to get into it, but no,
Speaker 1: we'll get into it big big things and but also
Speaker 1: really positive things. And Bryn told me that he was
Speaker 1: thankful for me, and it melted my heart. So I
Speaker 1: went to go do an improv show in this just
Speaker 1: mess of emotions. And I go out on stage and
Speaker 1: at the Magnet Theater there's a little side section for
Speaker 1: overflow seating and some there are some people sitting there
Speaker 1: and two of them just had hot nachos and casadilla's
Speaker 1: out on their lap, just eating a full, smelly meal.
Speaker 1: And normally that stuff stresses me out. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: these people are not self aware. They're going to be
Speaker 1: distracting during the show, and I'd worry about it, but
Speaker 1: instead I just turned to them and I go, you
Speaker 1: can't eat in here. You gotta take that out. You
Speaker 1: have to take that out. And I started yelling at
Speaker 1: these people and they think it's a bit and they're like, well,
Speaker 1: that guy told me I could take get in. Who's
Speaker 1: putting the house manager? I go, no, he didn't. His
Speaker 1: job is to make sure you don't bring a foot.
Speaker 1: And I yelled and I made them to put the
Speaker 1: food away and I was joking, but I also legitimately
Speaker 1: was making everyone in the theater uncomfortable. And then I
Speaker 1: apologized and I joked it off, and then we started
Speaker 1: the show, and I was so annoyed at them, and
Speaker 1: then they're also happened to be that type of people
Speaker 1: that two seconds in they just started talking to each other. Wow,
Speaker 1: does this relate to what we're talking about? Where are
Speaker 1: we going this? What? I don't know how they started
Speaker 1: talking and I stopped the show and I got three
Speaker 1: inches from this guy's face and I said, you need
Speaker 1: to shut the funk up or you need to get
Speaker 1: out of here. And I really shamed him insane um,
Speaker 1: but he stopped talking. Who goes to the theater theater
Speaker 1: sits with their feet on the stage and thinks that
Speaker 1: I can't hear them when they're just chatting away. The
Speaker 1: point is I had my students the next day say
Speaker 1: that it was very uncomfortable what I did, but that
Speaker 1: they said it was a very good show. The first
Speaker 1: four minutes were very uncomfortable. But you know me, this
Speaker 1: is not character. Please don't do that again. Father, This
Speaker 1: is not in character for me. No, but you you
Speaker 1: have this like white man confidence when you get to
Speaker 1: you get to a certain level of anger and you're
Speaker 1: just like, I deserve to be hurt. Like it's just, um,
Speaker 1: I deserve to tell that guy to shut the funk up.
Speaker 1: And I did, and I have no regrets. Don't go
Speaker 1: to a show and talk idiots, don't go to the theater.
Speaker 1: Don't bring smelly nachos into theater and then talk. Well,
Speaker 1: maybe they thought it was like an Alamo drafthouse. They did.
Speaker 1: I mean, they thought it was like a stand up
Speaker 1: show where they're going to be drinks and tables. And
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. They had a great time, and
Speaker 1: they thought it was really funny that I was rasing them.
Speaker 1: They didn't know that I hated their guts. They had
Speaker 1: a great time. Yeah, boy, I thought this would be
Speaker 1: a fun story and I just kind of angry. But
Speaker 1: I still don't understand how it really relates to what
Speaker 1: we were talking about. But I think it relates to
Speaker 1: comedians know how to edit themselves. And so I decided
Speaker 1: to ramble on. You're like, I'm a comedian, I have
Speaker 1: something to say. Let me prove to you how I
Speaker 1: can edit myself. I'm self aware. Is this interesting? You're
Speaker 1: the opposite of this. Is this interesting? My version is
Speaker 1: this is interesting, not a question? This is interesting? Um, yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: our kids are crazy. I also think you know, it's
Speaker 1: we've been trying to deal with a lot with our lives,
Speaker 1: our bathroom renovation or holiday lead up and works ship,
Speaker 1: and our kids have not gotten out of the house enough,
Speaker 1: out of the apartment as much as they should. And
Speaker 1: there I think we had we've had spent a whole
Speaker 1: week inside waiting for a toilet to arrive. Yeah, which
Speaker 1: it has all that, We have everything we need for
Speaker 1: this reno patient renovation. You've done all this work and
Speaker 1: I and you look forward to taking credit for it
Speaker 1: in one way or another. You don't even let me
Speaker 1: finish because I was just about to do the exact
Speaker 1: opposite of what you accused me of, which is to
Speaker 1: say you have done all of it. Um, I've helped
Speaker 1: only where you've asked me to. Well, I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what is giving me slight anxiety about it now is
Speaker 1: that I ordered these tiles online and then their cement
Speaker 1: tiles and they showed up and they're very thick, like
Speaker 1: over half an inch thick. And I don't think that's
Speaker 1: an issue. But at this point, I'm so tired of
Speaker 1: dealing with the renovation that I'm like, I'll just go
Speaker 1: or like, I'll buy the cheapest floor tile on Friday
Speaker 1: if I need to. If I find out that the
Speaker 1: contractor is like, we can't work with this. But they're
Speaker 1: really cool tile. They're very cool. But yeah, but it's
Speaker 1: a small it's a small chance that it's like seven
Speaker 1: down the train and we'll find out soon. The floor
Speaker 1: might be three inches above all the other floors, but
Speaker 1: that's not even They're going to put a little legend.
Speaker 1: I talked to the guy. I've talked to a guy
Speaker 1: about this, and I feel like I'm getting a lot
Speaker 1: better about talking to the guys, do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, I just i feel like I'm becoming
Speaker 1: this person. That's just like if I'm confused with the guy,
Speaker 1: gonna be like, what do you mean? What's that? How
Speaker 1: does that work? What's going on? Like I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get pushed around with these guys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's no need. You're in charge. I don't want to
Speaker 1: give you what you want. So okay, guy, you work
Speaker 1: for me. Um, listen, guy, you work for me. Okay,
Speaker 1: but please only palets on in front of my building, arauil,
Speaker 1: I will be in tears. How many pallets did we
Speaker 1: have to throw away? Any three palelets? Is the answer?
Speaker 1: Toilet didn't come on a pallet? Yeah, toilet came on
Speaker 1: the random guys back his back. A man trotted up
Speaker 1: with a toilet upon his back instead. Have you ordered
Speaker 1: yonder toilet? Come hither? Um? The home depot guy first
Speaker 1: all hump de bow mostly great. But I didn't deliver
Speaker 1: the toilet when they said they would. I called them
Speaker 1: and somebody figured it out. The guy it was the
Speaker 1: last delivery, and so instead of bringing the truck, he
Speaker 1: just threw the toilet into his car and drove on over.
Speaker 1: He's like, it's faster on the highway with us, and
Speaker 1: he just comes carrying this super heavy toilet. Um. And
Speaker 1: I was like, is this an insurance issue if something
Speaker 1: happens in his personal car? And that's as much as
Speaker 1: I thought about it. Is this interesting? No, it's a
Speaker 1: useful phrase. I am definitely gonna start using it. It's
Speaker 1: a good cover. It's a good cover if you have
Speaker 1: a constant inner monologue of low self esteem. Um, I
Speaker 1: do it a natural version of that by talking louder. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I teach a lot of improv classes, which has not
Speaker 1: been good for curbing rambling, because you have sixteen people
Speaker 1: that have to listen to you and are there to
Speaker 1: listen to you and want to listen to you, so
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't necessarily say they're there to listen to you.
Speaker 1: They're there to learn how to do impronise. You don't
Speaker 1: think those two things are related. I just I there's
Speaker 1: a feminist rant that I've been. It's been on my
Speaker 1: been needing to get off my chest all week, which
Speaker 1: I went to the dentist this week, and it's just
Speaker 1: I'm just so tired of certain things like in like
Speaker 1: just happening over and over again in my life. And
Speaker 1: like I go to the dentist, This very nice dental
Speaker 1: hygienist woman who works there, spends half an hour cleaning
Speaker 1: my teeth, being nice to me, talking to me, she like,
Speaker 1: you know, explaining things. Um, she's like, you know, a
Speaker 1: young mom. Whatever. Then the it's time for the dentist
Speaker 1: to come in and give his little inspection so we
Speaker 1: can hear him talking the other room, and she goes
Speaker 1: and checks on him multiple times, but he's very engaged
Speaker 1: in man splaining teeth to another patient and just going
Speaker 1: on and on, loving the sound of his voice. And
Speaker 1: as the dentist of man splaining teeth, Yes, what is
Speaker 1: his job to explain teeth? Yeah, it's literally his job
Speaker 1: to come in in man's plain teeth at the end,
Speaker 1: after this woman did all the work and then he
Speaker 1: and he probably makes three times which he makes, and
Speaker 1: it makes me livid, and so I have to we
Speaker 1: have to wait for him in the other room, literally
Speaker 1: like ten fifteen minutes that he's taking just talking about
Speaker 1: teeth with this person. And then he comes in, you know,
Speaker 1: glances at my mouth, pokes around as like re explains
Speaker 1: what this woman has said about teeth decay and leaves,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like I did. I didn't even need
Speaker 1: that man in my life. I had to wait for
Speaker 1: him for him to waste my time. This woman has
Speaker 1: already done all the work, like I don't. It's it
Speaker 1: just makes it's so the layers of annoyance, the fact
Speaker 1: that he makes probably so much more money than her.
Speaker 1: It's like I I just walked through the world and
Speaker 1: these things make me feel crazy because it's like because
Speaker 1: like every industry, every industry has like designations, like different roles,
Speaker 1: and they're like, well, the person who runs the office
Speaker 1: is lower on the totem pole and they get less money. Like, um,
Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying. You also would love to
Speaker 1: be the dentist. Well, I mean, I've been in charge
Speaker 1: of a lot of people who do things for me,
Speaker 1: and so I empathize with the person that is not
Speaker 1: doing the day to day. I've done all the day
Speaker 1: to day. I also don't know enough enough about it
Speaker 1: being a dentist. I'm sure any dentist listening would have
Speaker 1: a lot to say about that. Um. See, that's the
Speaker 1: thing as as a white man, you intrinsically assume that
Speaker 1: he's more important. Um. I would assume that a person
Speaker 1: who is a full dentist um has skills that the
Speaker 1: dental higgenist does not are I don't know. I'm sure
Speaker 1: he does, but I don't think it warrants the level
Speaker 1: of importance and pay that he is getting up of.
Speaker 1: I think what it when it matters is when there's
Speaker 1: something wrong, and that's probably the difference. But you go
Speaker 1: in and it's fine, and his job is a coming
Speaker 1: and go all right, yeah, nothing to add. But then
Speaker 1: as a society, we put our focus on having people
Speaker 1: for when things go wrong, and then we don't create
Speaker 1: prevention plans for a variety of issues. I think dentistry
Speaker 1: is over a kill on prevention. I don't need to floss.
Speaker 1: Floss is a fucking scam. I'll tell you last time.
Speaker 1: I want the dentist not. This is not to invalidate
Speaker 1: your experience. I had a different one with the there's
Speaker 1: a dentiligenist there that I love and she's my regular
Speaker 1: person and she's great, and uh, but she wasn't there,
Speaker 1: and so I had this other, sweet young woman who
Speaker 1: was the most condescending pat She was just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well you know about flassing. Let see if a man
Speaker 1: was saying that to you, you would have been like,
Speaker 1: he's right, No, fine, I don't care. The result was
Speaker 1: I've had a million dental hygienists before my life, and
Speaker 1: I've never had negative feelings towards any of them ever,
Speaker 1: because who gives a ship, They're doing the job things.
Speaker 1: They mostly male, No dentifligens. I almost exclusively been women.
Speaker 1: Do not put sexism into my brain. This is the
Speaker 1: one dental higienist that I've had a negative thought about,
Speaker 1: and I despised her. I could not hide my hatred
Speaker 1: as she cleaned my teeth. She just so slowly and NonStop,
Speaker 1: like you know, these things matter. You know you think
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, then you've gotta you gotta, you gotta
Speaker 1: foss and you gotta. I do think I do agree
Speaker 1: that the prevention of the dentist is a little bit overkill.
Speaker 1: I think they're blowing it a little bit out of proportion,
Speaker 1: but that's the job. But also I am amazed at
Speaker 1: their ability to think and talk about teeth day in
Speaker 1: and day, because I feel like I'm putting on a
Speaker 1: performance when i'm there, as though I think about teeth
Speaker 1: a lot, and I'm like, yeah, you're right, teeth, sure,
Speaker 1: canines incisors because they're always re explaining the most basic
Speaker 1: aspects of tooth aging, and they're like food gets stuck
Speaker 1: on the teeth, especially those ones in the back, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like I have to act like I've never
Speaker 1: heard it before. But like, also I'm interested in agree,
Speaker 1: Like I'm just like, yeah, totally. Like I will say,
Speaker 1: though about eight nine years ago, I hadn't been to
Speaker 1: the dentist forever. And I went to the dentist and
Speaker 1: this another general highgienist said, have you um received our
Speaker 1: toothbrushing tutorial? And in my head, I did a major
Speaker 1: eye roll and I'm like, you're not going to teach
Speaker 1: me how to brush my teeth? And I was like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, and she goes, great, let's do it.
Speaker 1: And she puts up some fake teeth and the toothbrush
Speaker 1: and she starts starts showing me the best way to
Speaker 1: brush your teeth. And I'll be damned, I learned something
Speaker 1: from it. Uh. And since then, every time I go
Speaker 1: to the dentist, they say, your teeth are immaculate. My
Speaker 1: favorite thing is my dentist high gentist. I do like said,
Speaker 1: if you told me that you did floss, I would
Speaker 1: have believed you. That's how good I was brushing. And
Speaker 1: I have that woman, the previous woman to think and
Speaker 1: I wanted to say, oh, you're not going to teach
Speaker 1: me someone I don't know, you be open to being
Speaker 1: not knowing? Well. The woman that my dunetle high she
Speaker 1: was like, been, you've been flossing and I was like,
Speaker 1: not as much as I should. And she was like
Speaker 1: everyone says that, and I was like, yeah, because I
Speaker 1: don't want to get caught in a lie and I
Speaker 1: don't floss enough. None of us do. Well, that's so,
Speaker 1: but they can't really tell. That's the thing. The time before,
Speaker 1: two times ago, I finally decided I'm so sick of
Speaker 1: lying to the dentist. So she goes, how often do
Speaker 1: you floss? And I go never? And then she said, Wow,
Speaker 1: if you told me you flossed, I would have believed you.
Speaker 1: And it was the most validating thing that has ever happened. Okay,
Speaker 1: but here's the thing. I think this is another one
Speaker 1: of the lies of Western medicine, is that we place
Speaker 1: all this importance on brushing our teeth and cleaning them
Speaker 1: when realistically, I think our diet has a way big
Speaker 1: or impact on what's going on with our teeth. Um,
Speaker 1: let me just say in college, when I went home
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving and had eleven cavities, I'll disagree with you
Speaker 1: on that one, because there's a way to do it wrong,
Speaker 1: and it's to be scared and alone in college and
Speaker 1: have a mountain dew every night and be shoddy with
Speaker 1: your brushing. I literally just said, diet has a bigger impact.
Speaker 1: So you just proved me right by saying you had
Speaker 1: a mountain dew every night. Well, and also I didn't
Speaker 1: brush well. I think drinking like sugary beverages. I thought
Speaker 1: you were saying what you put in your stomach matters
Speaker 1: more than what you put on your teeth. I think
Speaker 1: it's both like you have sugary stuff like hang on
Speaker 1: your mouth all the time, but also your body. I
Speaker 1: think when you're coding your insides and like chemicals and
Speaker 1: sugar and not like the actual food nutrients doesn't help.
Speaker 1: It doesn't help your body's ability to recover and fight
Speaker 1: infections and things like. Yeah, well, after three hours in
Speaker 1: the duchess chair getting all those services filled, I stopped
Speaker 1: drinking soda forever and I've had no issue since. Is
Speaker 1: this interesting? Interesting? And now it's time for did you know?
Speaker 1: This is where we share something parenting related that we've
Speaker 1: learned from something we've read or seen or dreamed. Elizabeth
Speaker 1: in uh So, I want to talk about an article
Speaker 1: from the Atlantic. It's called stop trying to Sorry, stop
Speaker 1: trying to raise successful kids. You gotta give credit to
Speaker 1: your sister who sent this to my sister sent um
Speaker 1: the subtitle is and start raising kind ones, and um,
Speaker 1: it's just sort of a cool explanation of why you
Speaker 1: should not be so focused on achievement for your kids
Speaker 1: and make sure you're um, you know, praising them for
Speaker 1: kindness and reminding them of that. It says, kids learn
Speaker 1: what's important to adults not by listening to what we say,
Speaker 1: but by noticing what gets our attention. And in many
Speaker 1: developed societies, parents now pay more attention to individual achievement
Speaker 1: and happiness than anything else. However much we praise kindness
Speaker 1: and caring, we're not actually showing our kids that we
Speaker 1: value these traits. And then they talked about this cool
Speaker 1: study about how kindness is actually decreasing measurably in Americans.
Speaker 1: It says, in one experiment, a sociologist scattered thousands of
Speaker 1: what appeared to be lost letters to in dozens of
Speaker 1: American cities in two thousand one, and again in from
Speaker 1: the first round to the second, the proportion of letters
Speaker 1: that was picked up by helpful passers by and putting
Speaker 1: the mailbox declined by ten percent. When the same experiment
Speaker 1: was conducted in Canada, helpfulness didn't diminish. I think that's
Speaker 1: a really interesting that Canada is not declining in kindness
Speaker 1: because I mean, especially if you look at our politics
Speaker 1: right now. UM. And it also goes on to say
Speaker 1: that UM kids born after are less Oh. It says
Speaker 1: they they are just as likely as their predecessors to
Speaker 1: believe that other people experiencing difficulties should be helped, but
Speaker 1: they feel less personal responsibility to take action themselves. I
Speaker 1: thought that was a really interesting an interesting year to
Speaker 1: draw line in the same decision. They're less likely to
Speaker 1: give to charity, but I'm also like, because none of
Speaker 1: us have any money anymore. Yeah, I mean, also they're
Speaker 1: younger and don't feel responsible yet. I do think that's
Speaker 1: part of it, but it sounds like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'd be interesting to see what that data is coming from,
Speaker 1: well one of us. One of the stats that I
Speaker 1: found really interesting this was when asked parents, uh like
Speaker 1: of parents said that the thing they wished most for
Speaker 1: their kids was for them to be kind and respectful people.
Speaker 1: And when kids were asked what their parents, what the
Speaker 1: kids thought the parents thought was most important, the kids
Speaker 1: said it was like achievements. Yeah. Well, and it's interesting.
Speaker 1: So the authors of this UM said they also noticed
Speaker 1: sort of a parenting trend to sort of train kids
Speaker 1: towards more towards confidence, and it said in some parenting circles,
Speaker 1: for example, there's a movement against intervening when preschoolers are
Speaker 1: selfish in their play. These parents worried that stepping in
Speaker 1: might prevent kids from learning to stick up for themselves
Speaker 1: and say that they're less worried about their prospect of
Speaker 1: raising an adult who doesn't share than one who struggles
Speaker 1: to say no. But there's no reason parents can't teach
Speaker 1: their kids to care about others and themselves, to be
Speaker 1: both generous and self respecting. Um. And they also kind
Speaker 1: of explained that It said that that emphasis on toughness
Speaker 1: is partly an unintended consequence of the admirable desire to
Speaker 1: treat boys and girls more equally. Historically, families and schools
Speaker 1: encourage girls to be kind and caring and boys to
Speaker 1: be strong and ambitious. Today, parents and teachers are rightly
Speaker 1: investing more time and energy and nurturing confidence in leadership
Speaker 1: and girls. Unfortunately, there isn't the same momentum around developing
Speaker 1: generosity and helpfulness and boys. The result is less attention
Speaker 1: to carrying across the board Yeah, there's this weird thing
Speaker 1: and you see it in different types of education, and
Speaker 1: it weirdly, it makes me think of these sort of
Speaker 1: anti bullying education which I a lot of think a
Speaker 1: lot of those I think are super misguided because they're
Speaker 1: all focused on that like standing up to a bully
Speaker 1: as opposed to making kids recognize, uh, the bully in themselves.
Speaker 1: And that focus on generous generosity and kindness to empathize
Speaker 1: with people is a more positive thing than the like
Speaker 1: stand up for yourself. That's sort of like, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to intervene. You've gotta be tough. Yeah. Uh. I
Speaker 1: will say this article makes me worried for our son,
Speaker 1: like I feel like we have not He's sort of
Speaker 1: a naturally selfish, attention loving person and we have not
Speaker 1: necessarily done enough to promote him being more caring. Um.
Speaker 1: I will say, I've I've spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: with him talking about this because I'm very aware of this.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of our conversations where you know, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I'm kidding him to go, well, talk about how
Speaker 1: do you think people feel when that happens? Doesn't it
Speaker 1: feel good to help people? And this the last two days.
Speaker 1: Something that I have really been happy is seeing is
Speaker 1: our kids being nice to each other. Um. And there's
Speaker 1: a really interesting part in here where they showed a
Speaker 1: test where when if you forced a kid to share,
Speaker 1: they will be bitter and not like you. But if
Speaker 1: if you make it their choice, if you give them
Speaker 1: the option, a kid who gives a goldfish to another
Speaker 1: kid from their own bowl gets a hit of satisfaction.
Speaker 1: That is uh, that is like empowering to them. And
Speaker 1: it's I've seen that in our kids, like when Maven's like,
Speaker 1: I give them these cups tonight for dinner. And Maven
Speaker 1: saw that she had this blue cup that Britain normally has,
Speaker 1: and Britt had a green one if so maybe didn't
Speaker 1: care because if it's not paying, she doesn't care. They
Speaker 1: call it the helper's high. Yeah. And Maven sat down
Speaker 1: and she goes, brand you like the blue cup? Would
Speaker 1: you like the blue cup? And he gave She gave
Speaker 1: him her cup and he switched and she and goes,
Speaker 1: thank you, Maven, You're welcome, and they're like, my heart melted. Okay,
Speaker 1: but you're still using an example of Maven being nice
Speaker 1: to illustrate why Bruna's well, he has been doing things
Speaker 1: like that too recently, and you know, like, maybe would
Speaker 1: you like to hold my hand? He came out of
Speaker 1: daycare the day was do you want to hold my hand?
Speaker 1: And it held it and then he just stopped in
Speaker 1: the yard and gave her a big hug and said
Speaker 1: like you're my sister or something like that, and he
Speaker 1: was proud of her. Do you remember though, a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago when he was saying really nice things
Speaker 1: to us and he was like, I love you, daddy,
Speaker 1: And then he was like, I'm being nice, so I
Speaker 1: don't get on the naughty list. But well, the example
Speaker 1: I wanted to give was like the other morning when
Speaker 1: you and I were in a fight and then you
Speaker 1: stormed off, and then I was very stressed out and
Speaker 1: crying in front of her children. Mayven came over and
Speaker 1: gave me a hug, and Brin stood up on the
Speaker 1: bed and decided to try to do some pratfalls to
Speaker 1: cheer me up. And that's why I feel like I
Speaker 1: was like, this is not really what I want. It's
Speaker 1: not really the comfort I'm looking forward on. The empathy,
Speaker 1: he's a little bit more like my dentist. No, well,
Speaker 1: both of those. I'm those both make me so happy
Speaker 1: to hear um because it shows emotional intelligence. They both
Speaker 1: know that somebody is in pain, and it uses always
Speaker 1: a little more self serving. I mean that is how
Speaker 1: I would do it. I would distract and try to
Speaker 1: cheer you up, whether that's good or bad. He was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm walking, Well, what the bit Now, I'm gonna punch
Speaker 1: myself in the face. Wait what and then he punches himself.
Speaker 1: It's almost really good, but it's not quite clicking. No,
Speaker 1: it needs work shopping. Well, something that the big lesson
Speaker 1: in here for me is that, oh, of course again
Speaker 1: it's modeling. You can tell your kids things, but you
Speaker 1: need to just show them. And the first thing I
Speaker 1: thought of, like, sometimes you know, and everybody does this,
Speaker 1: but I know that we've been guilty of this where
Speaker 1: we sit around and we're talking and then we just
Speaker 1: we start ship talking people like not a ton. But
Speaker 1: I've been in moments where I realized we've just spent
Speaker 1: like an hour ship talking people, and our kids have
Speaker 1: been listening to us. Really, you and me, Yeah, well
Speaker 1: there's usually somebody else here, who are we I don't
Speaker 1: feel like we do that much at the time. We
Speaker 1: don't do it a lot, but this has happened, This
Speaker 1: happened once before or at the end of it, I
Speaker 1: realized I was like, Oh, I really wish a brin
Speaker 1: is too old. I really wish he hadn't witnessed any
Speaker 1: of that. And it's I don't think this is a
Speaker 1: big issue with us. But that was an example of like,
Speaker 1: I don't want him seeing me do that. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: they gave a good example in the article where they
Speaker 1: talked about, you know, you don't want to need to
Speaker 1: like badger your kids into being nice. But they were
Speaker 1: like when they come home from school, instead of asking
Speaker 1: them what they did that day and what they achieved
Speaker 1: that day, asked them if they helped anyone? And they
Speaker 1: the authors this husband and wife talked about how they
Speaker 1: over time asking their kids at the end of the
Speaker 1: day like did you help anyone? It made their kids
Speaker 1: start looking out for opportunities where they could like share
Speaker 1: a crayon or do something. And it also is really interesting. Um,
Speaker 1: the article goes on to make a point about how
Speaker 1: being helpful actually does make people more successful. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was fascinating. Their statistics to back that up. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: lot of statistics it said, boys who are rated as
Speaker 1: helpful by their kindergarten teachers earn more money thirty years later.
Speaker 1: Um It said students who care about others also tend
Speaker 1: to see their education as preparation for contributing to society,
Speaker 1: an outlook that inspires them to persist even when studying
Speaker 1: is dull. It's it's kind of a nice explanation because
Speaker 1: we talked about the helpers high. It's like, doing these
Speaker 1: things it improves your mon mental health, it makes you happier,
Speaker 1: and then that's naturally just going to make you better
Speaker 1: at everything else you're doing, and connecting with people and
Speaker 1: working like it's just good for all of us when
Speaker 1: we're nice. I relate to I think the times i'm happiest,
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a real selfish part of me where
Speaker 1: I want to be in charge and I want people
Speaker 1: to think I'm great, But I'm more interested. I want
Speaker 1: people to see me as somebody who cares about other
Speaker 1: people and who is helping other people. I want people
Speaker 1: to if people look up to me. I work with
Speaker 1: a lot of people are younger than me, so I'm
Speaker 1: an authority figure and there's a different kind I feel
Speaker 1: really good about that position when I feel like people
Speaker 1: see me as somebody who's sticking up for them, who's
Speaker 1: who's kind and encouraging, giving people opportunities I'm proud of.
Speaker 1: Like I know what that feeling is, and like that's
Speaker 1: what I want to model to my kids. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I feel like I am a nice person in
Speaker 1: my day to day like I do, like if I
Speaker 1: spot an opportunity to be nice, I'll attempt to go
Speaker 1: for it. But I don't think I do that in
Speaker 1: front of my children. And that's what concerns me is
Speaker 1: Like I mean I did, like I did have to
Speaker 1: tell Burn the other day he was making a huge
Speaker 1: mess with the croissant at the coffee shop, and I
Speaker 1: was like, we cannot do this. People work here and
Speaker 1: they have to clean this up. You can't make a
Speaker 1: huge mess like this. But I don't think that's the
Speaker 1: same as like him seeing me be nice. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I think that is the main point of this article
Speaker 1: is the be nice to people is not as effective
Speaker 1: as one modeling it being nice to people in front
Speaker 1: of your children, um, but also when talking to them,
Speaker 1: it's it's more effective in that storytelling element that like, hey,
Speaker 1: what is something nice you did today, who did you
Speaker 1: talk to, who did you play with? And getting them
Speaker 1: to naturally go back to that social place in their
Speaker 1: head to tell the story and to re examine it
Speaker 1: through the lens of kindness. That sticks because they can
Speaker 1: actually come back to those moments and recognize them when
Speaker 1: they happen again, as opposed to a theoretical hey be nice.
Speaker 1: And I do think Brent is nice, and he's like
Speaker 1: one of the most social kids in his class, and
Speaker 1: he talks to everyone. I just don't think he has
Speaker 1: the same thing as much as mayven of like just
Speaker 1: being tuned into someone else's pain or like needs. But well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I understand that. But we're very much talking
Speaker 1: about the difference between you and me, where where you
Speaker 1: know I'm a little more oblivious to two people's pain
Speaker 1: In a certain way, I worry less about people because
Speaker 1: I can be distracted and not focused on things, and
Speaker 1: you notice everything. Um, but when I do notice, it
Speaker 1: matters to me as much as it does to you.
Speaker 1: And the Brindan Maven are similar in that difference. Perhaps
Speaker 1: from what you told me about his parent teacher conference,
Speaker 1: the thing I was most proud of was when you
Speaker 1: the teacher said that Britain plays with everybody. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I want my son to be that kid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is this interesting? This next segment is called Listeners want
Speaker 1: to Know. It's where we take questions and comments from
Speaker 1: you guys. It's called listeners want her Nose. But I'm
Speaker 1: just going to be a ship dentists. Yeah, I went.
Speaker 1: I didn't go to to seven years of semantics school
Speaker 1: to not get the title right. This emails feels incredibly
Speaker 1: appropriate to read because it literally just came into my inbox.
Speaker 1: It's an update from our dear friend Susan. Um. Susan
Speaker 1: wrote in recently about asking for potty training help. Um boy,
Speaker 1: I don't know that we gave any great advice, but
Speaker 1: she wrote back the subject line is update on my
Speaker 1: shitty kid pun intended. I haven't read this yet, so
Speaker 1: this is a cold read. She's still shitty literally. Thanks
Speaker 1: for the potty training advice. We are taking another break
Speaker 1: and I will try to just follow her lead and
Speaker 1: let her come around to it when she is ready.
Speaker 1: But I still refuse to put diapers on her, so
Speaker 1: she is in pull ups all the time now. After
Speaker 1: listening to Peter talk about Brent's epic meltdown in Target.
Speaker 1: I wanted to share a few things that have been
Speaker 1: helping in our household. One, have you read The Whole
Speaker 1: Brain Child. I've been slowly waking my way through this
Speaker 1: book and it's been very helpful and explaining why my
Speaker 1: child is a psychopath sometimes and how to deal with it.
Speaker 1: He gives a bunch of techniques to help our kids
Speaker 1: integrate the more compulsive quote unquote caveman parts of the
Speaker 1: brain with a higher, more rational brain. My two my
Speaker 1: therapist recently gave me this parenting technique. Instead of asking why,
Speaker 1: questions like why are you crying? Ask what are you feeling?
Speaker 1: Help them might identify what they are feeling and problem
Speaker 1: solve what to do when they feel that way in
Speaker 1: future situations. Obviously, this should be done after they are
Speaker 1: calm three sitting, setting clear expectations and consequences, and sticking
Speaker 1: to them. This is like parenting one oh one. But
Speaker 1: I am the worst at this, so I eagerly gave
Speaker 1: into my three year old's tantrums, but I'm working on
Speaker 1: suffering through them and sticking to my guns. Peter did
Speaker 1: a good job of this in Target. Thank you. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. I just pulled out the guns too fast,
Speaker 1: but I stuck to them. I'm not sure if any
Speaker 1: of that is helpful, but figured i'd chair. I wish
Speaker 1: these kids came with instruction manuals because I have no
Speaker 1: idea what I'm doing. Well, you should buy there's no
Speaker 1: manual parenting pregnancy book written by Beth Nowal. One more thing,
Speaker 1: What are you getting the kids for Christmas? Susan? Um,
Speaker 1: we have gotten well, I've gotten better at sticking to
Speaker 1: my guns with them. Baby, you did it tonight. Great.
Speaker 1: Maven was in there going mommy mommy for twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: At least I know her games and you didn't. You
Speaker 1: didn't give in Um, yeah, sorry, I just blanked on
Speaker 1: what she was saying before the listener was saying. But
Speaker 1: for the um our dear friends. Susan had several things
Speaker 1: to say, and I will review them. But first let's
Speaker 1: go backwards, Shelley, what are we getting the kids for Christmas?
Speaker 1: We are getting them the okay, so x men, well,
Speaker 1: my parents might get them. Next, I suggested X men
Speaker 1: to somebody as well. Okay, well, okay, they're getting Checkers.
Speaker 1: May even is getting a my little pony glittery toys
Speaker 1: that she insisted on having because she saw the gift
Speaker 1: for her cousin in the closet, so that's the only
Speaker 1: thing she wanted. Um Brin is getting one of those
Speaker 1: little science toys of like a human body where you
Speaker 1: can pull out all the organs, which I'm excited to
Speaker 1: discuss organs with him. Oh my gosh. We discussed organs
Speaker 1: in bed tonight because I read a Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: was in the bedroom while you were doing bedtime with
Speaker 1: them and reading a sex book or whatever, and I
Speaker 1: just kept here ring them maybe and kept going a
Speaker 1: girl with a ween er, and then she would and
Speaker 1: then they would giggle a lot, and then later she
Speaker 1: would go a penis and they were super giggly, and
Speaker 1: so I got them in bed by going, you want
Speaker 1: to read a butt with books? I'm sorry, I flipped
Speaker 1: that you want to read a book with butts? And
Speaker 1: they said yes, and then we got heavy into anatomy.
Speaker 1: They were really into it that I overheard them have
Speaker 1: a conversation last night where Brynn was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: have a wiener and like he was like, man's like,
Speaker 1: what's that whole? I don't like, I really don't know
Speaker 1: what they were showing each other, but like it sounds
Speaker 1: like I don't well. He started talking about butts at
Speaker 1: some point in here too, and he was there like
Speaker 1: he was like, you just have a butt with another
Speaker 1: pe hole and I have a wiener And she was like,
Speaker 1: very self important. Much of my fan dentist. Um, who's
Speaker 1: the real dentist. He's being a real dentist about it. Uh.
Speaker 1: I just want to say that my best friend's dad
Speaker 1: is a dentist and he's the nicest man in the world.
Speaker 1: To keep going, I've just been feeling guilty. Man's pleaning
Speaker 1: isn't about niceness. Oppression is not about being polite. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to defend the one dentist I know. I
Speaker 1: just feel like you fundamentally misunderstand how oppression works. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to invalidate your experience. I just want one
Speaker 1: person to know that I love them. Okay, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: keep going anyway. That's that's the end of the story.
Speaker 1: I explained testicles to Brandon tonight, and I realized he
Speaker 1: had never heard anything about them. This is another thing
Speaker 1: I overheard from them. You were like, You're like, you're screwed.
Speaker 1: Um has these balls in it, and he's like balls
Speaker 1: a lot of screwed um talk. Well, just realized like
Speaker 1: the earlier the night he kicked me in the crops
Speaker 1: in a way that genuinely hurt and I realized he
Speaker 1: and I was like, bring, you just kicked me in
Speaker 1: the crotch and that didn't mean anything to him. Well,
Speaker 1: because we need to teach him more empathy. Well he doesn't.
Speaker 1: I don't clearly hasn't gotten hit in the crotch in
Speaker 1: a way because he's like why why is that a problem?
Speaker 1: I have had moments lately because he gets in this
Speaker 1: like punchy mode where he starts like jumping on you
Speaker 1: and pinching and stuff where I sometimes get so frustrated
Speaker 1: that I will like lightly slap him or do whatever
Speaker 1: he's doing to me to just be like do you
Speaker 1: see what that feels like? Like they're just like because
Speaker 1: he's so annoying. Um not, I don't not like really
Speaker 1: hurting him, but it doesn't even know for the record,
Speaker 1: this isn't nowhere close to a real hit, but scrapping
Speaker 1: around on the bed. I just occasionally want to remind him, like,
Speaker 1: you are hurting someone I know you don't believe the
Speaker 1: words I'm saying or seem to care. Also, you can't
Speaker 1: actually hit him because but you do it so light
Speaker 1: that it's aggressive enough that he's like whoa. But then
Speaker 1: it's fun so he wants to do it more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he really can't win with him. Um. So that's what
Speaker 1: we're geting for a Christmas. So there's there's three points
Speaker 1: in here that we should we should react to. Uh,
Speaker 1: setting clear expectations and boundaries. This is the thing we've
Speaker 1: talked about a ton. I think we've been really good
Speaker 1: at that. Yes, I think we have both improved in
Speaker 1: our weak spots except for target. No unerstand my target
Speaker 1: because that came out of nowhere. But not laying down
Speaker 1: the law. I have been much better at just sort
Speaker 1: of going with the flow and not putting my foot
Speaker 1: down immediately. And you've been excellent at not giving into them.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Um. The second thing is the instead of
Speaker 1: the why are you crying? You know why questions don't work?
Speaker 1: Oh remember what I was going to say, The thing
Speaker 1: about describing your feelings are Brand's kindergarten class does this
Speaker 1: a lot. It's like a big part of the curriculum
Speaker 1: as they talk about different feelings going into different categories.
Speaker 1: So there's like the zones of emotions. Zones emotions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like feeling frustrated or whatever. There's four colors. It's
Speaker 1: funny because I asked Brian about something that happened at school.
Speaker 1: He was talking about kids like laughing at him or
Speaker 1: pointing at him or something, and I was like, how
Speaker 1: did that make you feel? And he was like disappointed,
Speaker 1: And I was like, that's such a funny. The clear
Speaker 1: way of him describing well, the word disappointed connects right
Speaker 1: back to target, because you know, he screamed and he screamed,
Speaker 1: and it was horrific anyway in there, and he was
Speaker 1: punching me, and I was keeping calm, and I was
Speaker 1: joking with the people looking at me. And we get
Speaker 1: out of the store, and as soon as we got
Speaker 1: into the park a lot, I lost my mind and
Speaker 1: I like put him in his car seat and I
Speaker 1: drove away. And then then when he started kicking the
Speaker 1: seat and he threw all the animal crackers around, that's
Speaker 1: when I slammed on the brakes and I turned around
Speaker 1: and screamed at him more aggressively and angrily and rage
Speaker 1: filled than I ever had before. And then we did
Speaker 1: tell this entire already on the podcast, but calm down,
Speaker 1: got to the spot and turned around. Then I tried
Speaker 1: to like have a serious conversation, but I was still
Speaker 1: so enraged. And the first thing I said to him
Speaker 1: with such intensity is that I'm extremely disappointed in him.
Speaker 1: And ever since then, he has been using that word
Speaker 1: to mean like I'm in rage. It's like the worst word,
Speaker 1: because it was the worst thing was ever happened. He
Speaker 1: just flips everything. He's constantly trying to discipline me and
Speaker 1: threatened me. It's really how about this? That's how he
Speaker 1: starts everything with how about this? Yeah, He's like, well,
Speaker 1: how about if you punish me, then I will do this,
Speaker 1: And it's like, if you don't do what I say,
Speaker 1: I'll get all the chocolate I've started too. If he
Speaker 1: starts negotiating, I did you hear that that? That's my
Speaker 1: alarm that says it's fifteen minutes at the bedtime? Is
Speaker 1: that interesting? Is this interesting? Um? The second he starts negotiating,
Speaker 1: I pretend like he's not there because I can't believe
Speaker 1: how many times I fall into the trap of god
Speaker 1: negotiating with him. But I really connect with this. I've
Speaker 1: had really positive moments with Bran and Maven if you
Speaker 1: do it at the right time, not when they're in
Speaker 1: the heat of like what's something emotional, but as they
Speaker 1: come down making don't ask questions like yeah, like why
Speaker 1: are you crying? What's the problem? They don't have answers
Speaker 1: for that stuff, but instead give them a leading question
Speaker 1: that connects to their emotions. I'm like with Brandon, like,
Speaker 1: you're feeling pretty angry? Huh, and he goes yes, And
Speaker 1: then if he actually responds to that, I know we
Speaker 1: can we can veer away from the current thing and
Speaker 1: talk about how we got there. Those are really good
Speaker 1: parenting moments. I agree. So I agree with this. Maven
Speaker 1: is really resistant to that though, because she knows she's
Speaker 1: being manipulated. Have I tried to talk to her or
Speaker 1: like going to be like, oh, you're feeling rough? She's like, boy,
Speaker 1: the one the one to three magic with with Maven
Speaker 1: Brandon really works. The first few times we did one
Speaker 1: to three and then he got punished. One to three
Speaker 1: w works with brand with may even you start to
Speaker 1: do it sometimes it will work now, but she's so residential.
Speaker 1: She was being so bad the other night like she was.
Speaker 1: There's like so many things. She wasn't listening, and it's
Speaker 1: like threatening so many things. And then finally I was
Speaker 1: just like, should I throw your princess box away? It's
Speaker 1: the only thing that works is the threat of throwing
Speaker 1: away all of her sparkly pink toys. Trying not to
Speaker 1: get to that place now, I don't want to. It
Speaker 1: feels cruel. But when she's been fighting bedtime for like
Speaker 1: twenty minutes, I'm not many times, Ah, she is getting
Speaker 1: mature enough to understand consequences. I mean she's three. That's
Speaker 1: the problem. It's bad though, because then when I have
Speaker 1: to say stuff like that to her, Brian chimes then
Speaker 1: and he's like, I'll go throw it away? Should I Like,
Speaker 1: He's like, you're not helping, Brian. He's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I can continue to throw out rules. Um. And to
Speaker 1: your first point, Susan, I have not read the whole
Speaker 1: brain Child, but I want to. Now you've sold me
Speaker 1: on it, and can I just have curiosity? She refuses
Speaker 1: to put diapers on her, so she puts her in
Speaker 1: pull ups. Are pull ups diapers? Um? Yeah? Not according
Speaker 1: to kids of that age. It's true. I don't want
Speaker 1: to I don't want to yuck here. Yum, Yeah, she
Speaker 1: loves pull ups, but I don't you know what, never mind,
Speaker 1: this is the victory. You stick to your guns. She's fine,
Speaker 1: it's fine. You stick to your guns. As I said
Speaker 1: last week, when she looks back on this time in
Speaker 1: two or three years or later, you will forget all
Speaker 1: of you will have completely forgotten when or how you
Speaker 1: potty train, and none of it matters. As you can
Speaker 1: tell from last week or whenever we read that email,
Speaker 1: yes for advice, I was like, boy, I had opinions
Speaker 1: about this at one point, yeah, but not anymore. This
Speaker 1: has been another episode of We Knows parenting. If you
Speaker 1: would like to send us an email give us some
Speaker 1: great advice, like Susan, you can write us an email
Speaker 1: we knows Pod at gmail dot com, or you can
Speaker 1: leave a voicemail at three four seven three eight four
Speaker 1: seven three nine six. Find us on Twitter, Instagram, and
Speaker 1: Facebook at widows Pod. Rate review, subscribe on iTunes, and
Speaker 1: preorder my book There's no manual, honest and gory wisdom
Speaker 1: about having a baby And I want to also plug
Speaker 1: Beth's book um order preorder it on Amazon or wherever
Speaker 1: by it for somebody for Christmas or Hanukkah or another
Speaker 1: holiday for next year, because it's coming out in February. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you won't be able to give it to them until February.
Speaker 1: But I could give them a nice card that said
Speaker 1: I preordered you this book. You could do that and
Speaker 1: we'll see you next time by Is this interesting