1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. This January, 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: Danny's taking Family Secrets on the road. To get your tickets, 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: visit Danny Shapiro dot com. I'm Danny Shapiro and this 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: is Family Secrets, the secrets that are kept from us, 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 1: the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we 6 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: keep from ourselves. I've heard from so many about your 7 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: own family secrets and realize that what we are creating 8 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: for each other on this podcast is a community, a 9 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: community for those who are looking for a safe and 10 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: supportive space to unburden themselves. To that end, we've created 11 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: a number for listeners to call in to record stories 12 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: to share here in this space. This week, I'd like 13 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: to share a few of those stories from our community. 14 00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Hi, Danny, Um, I am calling from Ohio. UM. 15 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:07,039 Speaker 1: I am sixty years old, just turned sixty. All of 16 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,479 Speaker 1: my life I felt as though I did not look 17 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: like um. My birth certificate fathers like him or his family. 18 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: And I'm eight years apart from my brother and six 19 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: years apart from my sister in age. So I had 20 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 1: questioned that all my life. I in Christmas of eighteen, 21 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: I took it ancestry DNA tests and discovered that my truth, 22 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: my feelings were actually truth. UM, that my who I 23 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,279 Speaker 1: knew as my father all my life was not my father. 24 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: I actually found through then getting a DNA detective to 25 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: help me research it, that I have a half sister 26 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: and a half niece in California, UM, and I was 27 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: given contact information. I contacted her. She knew all about me. UM. 28 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: It was very emotional for me hearing someone say, you're 29 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: my sister. I've known about you since I was sixteen, 30 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,839 Speaker 1: so I am two years older than her I would 31 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: have been eighteen. UM. So I'm still trying to wrap 32 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: my head around how all these people knew about me 33 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:26,839 Speaker 1: and no one told me, No one slipped ever, and 34 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: everyone is deceased now, my parents, UM, my real father, everyone. 35 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: So I have one elderly cousin to my birth father 36 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: that has been extremely helpful showing me photos and telling 37 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: me stories of my father, my birth father. So it's 38 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 1: it's been a struggle, a long journey and of an 39 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: emotional roller coaster. And my story goes a lot deeper 40 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: than that. I have love letters my mother wrote. My 41 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: half sister provided me with stacks of love letters she 42 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: wrote during her pregnancy with me, which gave me some 43 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: of the answers to what went on, but still left 44 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,640 Speaker 1: me with more questions. I just wanted to share that, 45 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: and UM, I thank you for listening. Ye him. My 46 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 1: secret is that I was dating someone on Tinder and 47 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 1: I got pregnant and I had his day. Um. But 48 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: the real secret is I actually don't know who the 49 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: father is. UM. And this was really really difficult for 50 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: me to expressed to my family. I am from a 51 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: Muslim family, in a practicing Muslim family, and so for 52 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: me to even be pregnant, uh, with anybody's child is 53 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: like a shock anybody's child out of marriage. UM. For 54 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: me to be pregnant with someone's child who I was 55 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: seeing on Tinder is something they probably couldn't have handled. 56 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: So I basically told them a lie about me needing 57 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: someone I had to like. I kind of got married 58 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: to them, we eloped pregnant. I don't think they believe 59 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: it to this day, but UM, that's kind of the 60 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: story that I was I was feeling comfortable telling them. UM. 61 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 1: If they ever found out that I actually don't know 62 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: who the father is, I think that they would just 63 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: be mind boggle. Mind. Boggle is the word that comes 64 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: to my mind. Um. But it happened, and it happens. 65 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:59,159 Speaker 1: It happens, um, not just in my face, it happens everybody, 66 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,479 Speaker 1: like all around the world. Where you make certain decisions 67 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: in your life, UM, and you then decide what you're 68 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: going to do with those decisions. UM. And so I 69 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 1: chose to have the baby, UM. And I am so glad, 70 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: so glad that I had my child. I just adore him, 71 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: I love him to it. I don't know yet how 72 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: I'm going to break it to him that I don't 73 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: know who the father is. But I'll cross that bridge 74 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: when I get to it. Hey, Danny, I found out 75 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 1: one of our family's secrets about twenty years ago. UM. 76 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: I was married at the time and having a hard 77 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 1: time conceiving a child myself. And around the same time, 78 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: my sister was going through a hard time and I 79 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: haven't to speak to her childhood friend whom I have 80 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,599 Speaker 1: not had not talked to and cry a long while. 81 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: And she, in the course of conversation, mentioned something about 82 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: having when she was there for my sister's um last 83 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,840 Speaker 1: child when her last child was born, and I mentioned 84 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: my nephew's name, and she kind of realized that I 85 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 1: didn't know, but she went ahead and told me that no, 86 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 1: she meant her third child and must only have two. 87 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,719 Speaker 1: And I learned that she had found out she was 88 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: pregnant while she was in between marriages, and it was 89 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 1: too far along to make any other decision than to 90 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,479 Speaker 1: have the child and give it up for adoption. Of course, 91 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: I was hurt that she hadn't thought of me, knowing 92 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: that that I so desperately wanted a child, But the 93 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: friend explained to me that she had thought of that. 94 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: I thought it would be too difficult to have this 95 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 1: child be so ever present in her life, so instead 96 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: she chose to um because it maybe up to her 97 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: friend's cousin. To this day, I have never talked about 98 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 1: it to anyone in my family. I don't know if 99 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: my sister knows that I know. I don't know if 100 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: my mom or my dad had known, or I have 101 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: no idea. UM. Maybe one day I'll get up courage 102 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: to actually ask her. With all this DNA testing, I 103 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: can't help but wonder, one of these days is there 104 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: going to be this kid? This man um piving me 105 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: a message thing? I think I'm part of your family. Well, thanks, Danny, 106 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: I appreciate you're listening to my story, and I look 107 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: forward to hearing other people's stories of If you'd like 108 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: to share your story, call one eight Secret zero and 109 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: record your story. We won't be able to run all 110 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: the stories, but we do want to shine a light 111 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: on as many as we count. The number again is 112 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: one eight eight Secret and then the numeral zero. For 113 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: more podcasts for my heart Radio, visit the I Heart 114 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your 115 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: favorite shows.