WEBVTT - Ep 36 "Commitment PHObia 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:07.160 We're just too unapologetically black women with an opinion who 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:13.159 talked about what's up, Welcome to a new episode, and 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:16.640 we talked back, it's your girl, a J It's Tam Bam. 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:22.960 I love y'all. Hey, like I'm starting to love y'all. Anyway, 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:28.080 I'm hard on the whole. I had somebody my DM 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:30.360 was like tell me that. It made me then feel 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:32.639 so good to hear me say that I loved him. 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:34.959 Every week I was like, I love you, and then 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:36.640 I said it to her. I like, bitch, because I 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:43.680 do love you. If nobody ever told Tam Bam loves you? 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:46.600 What's up you'll? How was your weekend? My weekend was 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:50.920 letty in the city. I got slow down because coronavirus 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.479 is real, but I feel like I just got over it. 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:55.880 So I got like a little like a little a 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:59.280 thirty forty five days safety net, you know, where I 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:01.560 just don't go crazy. And then I would go back 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:05.400 into my safe space. But I just see even out 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:09.360 there with no masks. I this this really happened. No, 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:13.640 I had on a mask sometimes. I went on this 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:16.200 dinner day on Friday night, and I put on this 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:18.520 dress that I got from this little Blue Teak in 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:22.479 Charlotte called Timeless Sheet. Shout out to Timeless Sheet. Both well, bitch, 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:25.039 when I tell you I killed that little dress this weekend. Like, 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:28.240 we walked in the restaurant and it was like a 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.600 group I guess it was a birthday party, was men 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:33.000 and women. And when I walked past the table, the 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:40.240 table fell silent. Bitch. I was like, yeah, I know, 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:45.399 and you know, because it's one thing when somebody think 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:47.720 they're a bad bage, right to the bad bage actually 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:53.920 walks in. It's like cricket, crickets, crickets. So the man 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.080 who took me to dinner, his chest was pumped out 0:01:56.160 --> 0:02:00.160 all far like he had. It's just like, yeah, you know, 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:08.120 beat y'all wit niggle, And this is exactly why we 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:13.359 make men look better. Now. Everybody wanted him trying to 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:16.239 figure out why there him because them holds at the 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.919 table behind us. He's like, one of them is burning 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:20.600 a hole in my head. She's trying to make eye 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.880 contact with me. I was like, well, you're looking over there. 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:25.640 You didn't be focused on the beach in front of you, 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:27.880 because I feel like you wouldn't even notice that ship 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:34.120 if you weren't looking at that table over there. I didn't. 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:35.960 I didn't say focused on the bitch in front of you. 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:44.280 I said, well, did you focus song me? He's stupid? 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:49.280 You start thinking. To goodness, I'm about to ask no 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:54.799 grown ass man to focus on you. Ain't. Somebody is 0:02:55.960 --> 0:03:02.680 to that table that fell solid eating meat? Catch your 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:08.880 nigger by its toe? That was it? What else happened 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:12.600 this weekend? Nothing else did? And do ship as per usual? 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:15.720 Work out? Yeah, you're using the gym. I see you 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:17.760 in the gym all weekend. That a little bit of shopping, 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:20.560 That's about it. I did, man. I try to get 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:23.480 in get it in both days this weekend, just as 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:25.480 you don't never want to have no fun no more? 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.800 Who are you? Justice? And like? Who me? Like? It 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:36.200 ain't just me? No the bitches listening to the show. Yeah, 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:39.480 I'm talking about you. I do be want to have fun, 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:42.800 but I'm trying to do something that's just all And 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:46.320 I have a small time window. Did you need a 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:53.160 million dollars by January one? That's really what the funk 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:56.760 I need? Man? And plus like you in Charlotte that 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.360 ship to dude, I'm not in Charlotte right now. So 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:01.560 with the suck down here. I'm in Charleston, and it's 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:04.920 like did you. I mean, there's a lot of nice 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:07.000 places to go. It's a nice a lot of nice restaurants, 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:09.360 like eating. That's about it. I'm gonna go out to 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:13.240 a nice restaurant. But as far as hanging out, it's 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:15.960 just like no place for like grown and sexy black adults. 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:18.200 It's always gonna be like mixed with just file. You 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:22.640 should create a place, but I could you make good food. No, 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:25.960 it's gonna get shut down because don't speak, don't shoot 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:29.400 your ship up and Charleston dog, niggas will shoot somebody 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:31.240 gonna die in your spot, dog, it could be a 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:39.479 nice gonna die. I'm not and I'm gonna be on 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:41.600 there like I'm gonna be out there like Olivia Pope 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.120 dragging a nigger body up my club because you can't 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:46.440 die in here, nigga, you gotta die in the park 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:49.359 a lot. Yeah, No, don't open up, don't open the lounge, 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:57.880 don't do that. That's whack. It's so many nice places, man, 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.760 but it's like the music gonna be whacked. I don't know, 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:04.279 So I think I'm gonna go see Candy Man tonight. 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:06.799 I'm kind of like, let me tell you all story 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:11.040 about my childhood. So I've been like afraid of Candy 0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:13.920 Man my entire life, and I have a traumatic story. 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:17.359 All right. I was a little girl my family, we 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:19.440 were having a family now. We were watching the movie 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:21.920 and eat Chinese food, and the movie of the night 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:26.719 was Candy Man. And my mom asked me, she was like, 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:28.280 are you sure you want to watch this? You can 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:33.159 go upstairs and watch something else, because this is really scary, baby, 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:34.680 And I was like, I want to watch it. So 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:37.040 I stayed down with everybody else and I watched that 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:40.000 movie and it terrified the funk out of me, and 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:43.240 I ate my little Chinese food, went to bed. It 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:45.960 was like it was really late. The house is pitch 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:52.200 black dark, and my stomach gets the motherfucking rumbling. That's that, 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:56.400 And I was scared to go to the bathroom. I 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:58.880 was terrified because it just pitched black and I couldn't 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:03.280 turn on the light. So my grandma had sent me 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:05.840 a boxer, like my grandma would send stuff down from 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:08.920 New Jersey to for me and my sister, and it 0:06:09.040 --> 0:06:11.920 was a box in my room. I took the box. 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:15.000 I took all the ship the contents out of the box, 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:21.400 and I ship in the box, y'all. I do it 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:23.760 in the box of my man room because I was 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:27.200 so scared of canny man in the bathroom. It's my 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:30.400 player was to take the box out as soon as 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:32.520 the sun come up. I was gonna put it in 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:36.680 the trash cat outside. But what happened was I went 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:38.920 back to sleep. I must to wipe my ass with 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:44.080 a soccer up now though my wapa woke me up. 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:49.799 Tell what the fuck is that? Belly? Are why like that? 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:55.200 Get yours up? She beat the ship out of me 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:57.560 for do doing in the box in my room. I 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:07.320 was so scared, dog man. Look man, black Mama's getting 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:10.400 my fucking nerves, like trying to understand what happened. Like 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:12.880 if you're look, if your kid ain't never shoot in 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:16.000 a box before, I'm gonna need to understand what the 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:19.400 fuck is going on first, Like my first thing is 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:21.920 not to just beat the kid's ass. I'm gonna be like, yo, 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:25.440 why did you do this? Why did you do this? 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:28.040 My mama let me know that that was that? Okay, 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:34.480 that's all she did. It's like if I knew my 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:37.400 baby was that terrified dog to ship in the box 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:40.080 in the room like I would really be sad for 0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:47.080 beating her ass about that. The fuck that's trauma, yo, 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.200 what the heirs? So yeah, I'm gonna try to release 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.520 that trauma. I'm gonna go watch the movie and then 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:56.160 I'm gonna ship in the toilet after. Oh my god, 0:07:56.400 --> 0:08:00.800 oh my god. I hope you did. I hope you do. 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:05.240 And then that's gonna be my closure. Remember I saw 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:17.240 him dick in the box. Yo, y'all, don't tell nobody. 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:21.720 I told y'all that this is between us, telling everybody 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:34.000 between us. Okay, Hey, Candy Man came to make Candy 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:41.000 Cando May came to make came to May. Let me 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:46.480 stop for this motherfucker periance closet. Yes, I do record 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:51.480 in a closet. My sister's big though. One of my sisters, 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:54.000 she works at SLED with the South Carolina the Law 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:57.360 Enforcement Division, right, and she said she tried Candy being 0:08:57.440 --> 0:08:59.640 up there in the bathroom, up there like that and 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:04.960 again coming to the police station. Wait a minute, break, 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:08.120 but she did, Candy Man in the bathroom. That is 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:12.240 not coming there. She thought you was slick. I'm not 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:18.520 coming up there. With your motherfucking police. She trying to 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:23.920 send Candy Man up its te like she's trying to 0:09:24.280 --> 0:09:27.079 get her co workers slade, Like, why is she can 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:32.040 juring that man up at work? Candy Man ain't crazy, 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:37.640 He's not gonna sick and go to hell. Candy Man 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:42.160 locked up in South Carolina? Hey, like the rest of 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.800 every nigger will come to this, bitch, you're gonna get 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:48.760 locked up, funker, no ball, like you're never gonna make 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:55.960 it back with Oh good, that's funny, Yo, what the hell? 0:09:56.240 --> 0:10:03.320 Man look my stuff and me to get this. That 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:06.679 was funny. Yeah, I want to see Candy Man. I 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:08.839 used to like watch I like, for whatever reason do 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:12.000 I like scary movies. I just like to feel scared 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:16.040 like that and it's weird. But I like, I used 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:18.079 to have like bad dreams, like something what happened? But 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:20.000 I'm such a g now. I used to don't give 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:21.559 a funk. I'd be in't here talking to ghosts and 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:24.200 there I'll be watching the Conjuring and here by myself, 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:28.280 just watching it like it don't scare me. Yeah, Oh, 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:30.679 what's the other one? Not the Conjuring, it's another one. 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:37.920 City and city is bit and Cities. That ship is Wicked. 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.599 That's one of the ones I watched by myself. I 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.280 can't watch that one by myself. The first one I 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:45.760 watched with somebody. Now I watched the other by myself, 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:49.760 but that the very first one. The city is one. 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:53.240 That ship is Wicked. The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.880 watched that movie, and then I tried to reenact Emily Rose, 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:58.360 like when she was all possessed on the floor. That 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:00.920 was hilarious. We was in a drunken high. I say 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:04.400 that was like twisted our body up and make it 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.920 all weird sounds there like beach get off the floor. Yeah, 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:09.880 because you you know, when you're drinking and smooking, you 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:13.000 who your body open? Oh? She don't say much like that. 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:18.720 I was at a clubhouse. Supernay are saying like, how 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.960 how would one hijack human body? Like how would a 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.560 spirit or something like? That's how nigga, When you know 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:29.080 in your right mind, people commit commit people commit murders 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:30.599 and crimes and all that ship all the time, and 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.520 then you end up in sucking jail and county like 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:38.559 what the fund did? I do you think they'd be possessed? Yes? 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:43.640 I do think so, I think so? Yeah, you got well, 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:47.800 I'm covered in the blood of Jesus. Okay, looking around, 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:50.800 m If your head I started spinning on that, God, 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:52.560 damn well, I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:55.880 right now. Sam, I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:59.080 gonna stab you first. I'm not about to wit. If 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.559 my head starts may you're gonna stab me, bitch, go 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:07.520 call up, call the pastor don't kill me. Damn Like, man, 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.600 if that should start happened in real life, like what 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:11.760 else wanna do? Well, I'm not about to risk you 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:16.880 getting out the house. It's me. It is me. Hold on, 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:19.240 what do I start coming to do the show like this? 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:23.040 Go ahead say you're opening line. No bid, you're about 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:27.240 to be like Shore, You'll off the list. Hey, this 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.840 is we talk back, This is a J eight and 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:43.920 this is I hate you Yo, you're joking. Oh man, 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.760 but you know what I was about to say, like 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:48.640 this would be the Wicked Ship. Listen, we didn't even 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:50.200 went into what the funk we really want to talk 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.360 about the day. But anyway, this sho is funny. Funny 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:57.199 is telling me listen, what is you know? People be 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.080 like maybe the people just don't say because they just 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:01.840 know somebody's not gonna believe them. But what if those 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:04.839 like one off situations with somebody who's never committed a crime, 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.520 like and then they murder somebody right in their house 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:12.199 or whoever they kill somebody, But really what happened is 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.600 that my fucking head was spinning around and I had 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:18.520 to kill them. Who's gonna believe that as much as 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.760 people believe in spirits, as much as people believe in 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.880 the Bible, all these different things, when she actually happens 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:28.320 is like you're like if Jesus actually came back and 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.240 they just be like, yeah, this is Jesus, y'all want me? 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:38.720 Him's gonna be like, man, a little come back, Yeah, 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.840 Like who the funk are y'all looking to come back? 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.200 Looking for to come back? Jesus came back and like 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:51.560 he had a stutter, and he was like, my children, 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.720 you're going to baby hell man, not like a whole 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.600 big hel but like baby, I just joke. He gave 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:07.600 me this as a humor, So why are you chosing 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:13.640 to stutter? Like what? Ain't nobody gonna leave as Jesus? 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.440 Because we're looking for somebody to come through and be 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:30.520 super think. Hey, y'all, boy looked up? Ah, so what 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:34.400 we're talking about the day? I don't know. Let's go 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:43.000 to commercial commercial break, So tell me about this fucking date, Tam. 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:44.920 What are you are you going on a date with? So? 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:49.560 Um the date? Okay, why do you look like that? 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:56.880 I met this really nice guy and this parking lot 0:14:57.160 --> 0:15:03.040 and he was tall, dark and handsome, and he asked 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.000 me for my number. I gave it to him and 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:06.440 he asked me did I want to go to dinner? 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.960 And he had a black card come pick me up. 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:17.560 And we went to this nice restaurant here in Charlotte. 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:20.760 And he's a really nice guy. He got his ship together. 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:26.560 He's tall, dark and handsome and like he's got real potential. 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:33.720 So I'm scared. So now bitches running? What the hell? Why? 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:36.000 I mean? But y'all just met So it's not it's 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.920 not like bad to be running now, But how do 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:40.480 you how do why do you feel like you're running? 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:43.120 Because he asked me out again for yesterday and I 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:46.240 was like, nah, I didn't say no. I just kind 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:52.760 of make myself unavailable because I'm I think. And I 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.920 came to a conclusion I might be a commitment Folks, 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:00.720 if this nigga, If this nigga wasn't ship and I 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.760 was like, I never see any potential in him, I 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:08.040 probably would have hung out with him. Again, it's backwards 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.440 because now because the person like that I know that 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:15.320 there is, this person can't hurt me because this ain't 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.680 gonna never turn into nothing, So let me hang out 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:21.520 with him. But when I see someone that's like got 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:25.520 real potential to be something real, I get scared. Oh, 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:28.400 this nigga gonna end up in leg Norman because I'm 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:29.960 gonna fall in love and then I'm gonna have to 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.240 kill him and put it and you're gonna have to 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:34.160 carry me, help me carry his body to the lake. 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:39.120 So is that really commitment fold or things that happen 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:41.520 once you get committed to somebody, Because it's not really 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.200 the commitment that you may have a phobia with. It 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.680 might be like they're just a dumb ship that happens 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:52.000 in relationships. Dog. So let's let's google what commitment phobia is. Yeah, 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:56.760 let's see what the what the so we can get 0:16:56.760 --> 0:17:00.800 a better understanding. All Right, what is commit meant phobia? 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:04.320 If you fear getting close to people are making relationship 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:08.359 decisions that have a long lasting effect, such as getting married. 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:12.640 You might have up excuse me, you might have commitment phobia. 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:15.119 It is common to fear the unknown, but people with 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:18.399 commitment phobia can extend this fear to other parts of 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:22.760 their life, especially romantic relationships. So are you really you 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:24.760 really think? Like so I can tell you about me. 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:28.840 Let me see, I don't think I have commitment phobia 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.080 because I'm just going in the next situation, like I 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:35.760 just get out some stupid like let's try it again. 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:38.480 I go through like I've never been hurt before, like this, 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:43.159 you're ready to love it? Yeah, Like and if the 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:45.080 ship don't work out, listen, I will never have a 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:48.040 problem like getting the going through even if I'm a 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:50.280 hundred dogs, I'm leaving my husband and then they again 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:54.560 making me happy. But that's you know, like nigga, fuck you, 0:17:55.200 --> 0:18:00.000 I'm out. That's the thing, because when I start loving 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:06.080 of someone, I never stopped. I never stopped. Like even 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:08.000 my niggas that I used to love. I still love 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:09.879 the niggas. They can't come back no more, but I 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:12.639 still well that's yeah, you still love them, You're not 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.600 in love with them. Though, So once you love somebody's like, 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.360 I always want to see you doing well. I don't 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:21.160 never want nothing bad for you, but I'm not in 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:24.080 love with you, so of course, like if you stop 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:26.119 loving somebody like, I'll stop liking you. But I'm not 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:29.560 gonna stop loving you. Yeah. So now you got this dude. 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:34.080 He's a nice guy, tall, darker hands, acting interested in 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:37.040 But we also know as a woman, you always gotta 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.720 perceive a caution, man, because these niggas do be acting 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:43.320 nice to get the port and then all of a sudden, dada, 0:18:47.200 --> 0:18:49.879 and look I told you, like you didn't tell me anything. 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:53.120 You were very nice. You made me believe that you 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.439 like me in a way, in a different way, like 0:18:55.520 --> 0:19:00.000 on a different level. Now you're busy. I'm just so busy, bitch, 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:05.280 I kill your motherfucking ask So wait, while a nigga 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:07.680 telling you he's busy, so you ain't telling some other 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:15.119 nigga you busy? Stop asking me good questions, girl, you 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:24.480 fucking serious, girl. Fuck you don't ask me ship that Max? Yes, girl, 0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.239 because we live like listen, I know, like why are 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:29.520 you chasing this nigga? This a vy dick over here? 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:32.600 Like I just want your attention. Come, I'm like, I'm available, 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:35.720 Like we just can't stand when the nigga available, like 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:38.040 you've got nothing to do, nigga, like we want to 0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:41.760 chase to me. So when a man's like pushing on you, 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:45.080 like putting the pressure on you, like you gotta be ready, 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:48.720 ready for the pressure, like when you think you're gonna 0:19:48.720 --> 0:19:51.400 be ready for the pressure. No, man, I don't never 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.320 press niggas. I'm not pressing people. Whatever I follow, I 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.240 follow their energy. That's how I end up in relationships. 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:01.000 Whatever type of time you on, I'm on that same 0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:03.760 type of time. I don't never make no assumptions. I 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:06.920 just tell you what I ain't sucking, and then if 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.880 you want access to me, you'll adjust wherever the funk 0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:12.119 you got going on. That's just how it's gonna be. 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:16.399 I know that's right. But when I like a nigga, 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:19.679 I'll be available. That's why I'll try so hard enough 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:23.120 to like motherfucker's because then I have become like little 0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:25.600 putty in their hands, and I hate that. It's the 0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:28.640 cancer and me. That's why you gotta play the game though. 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:32.720 You gotta be able today, I know, but men like that, 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:35.959 so you gotta be available today, right and then tomorrow. 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.880 You gotta go stand nigga, like you gotta keep transferring 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:44.680 that energy. It's just it's bad. We gotta play these games. 0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:51.480 But that's just that's the way to love goes. Like, oh, 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:59.280 that's the way. Yeah, that's the way love goes. I 0:20:59.280 --> 0:21:01.399 don't know why you gott playing games at these dudes, Like, 0:21:01.440 --> 0:21:03.200 I don't know why. I can't tell you. Look, I'm 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:05.240 sucking with you, nigga. I want to marry you like 0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:07.879 I want to be with you. That the problem is 0:21:07.880 --> 0:21:10.280 women be fantasizing about every goddamn man they come in 0:21:10.280 --> 0:21:13.000 contact with. Every dude you see potentially you like it 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:15.080 in your mind, like damn, I probably had this nigga, baby, 0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:17.880 I can probably marry him. But oh, he's just trying 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:21.320 to like you imagine his name, like his last name, 0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:27.000 like tam Ala Jones. You know. The first thing I'm 0:21:27.040 --> 0:21:28.760 doing is like, what's this nigga sign? I'm going to 0:21:28.840 --> 0:21:32.360 a horoscope dot com and checking out compatibility. That ship 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:35.680 is not real. I'm pulling his NATO and chart and 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:37.959 all that. Nigga, What time was you born? Again? What 0:21:38.400 --> 0:21:40.479 can you actually mama? What time he was you believing 0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:45.879 that ship for I don't believe. Yeah, all these characteristics 0:21:45.920 --> 0:21:50.320 and ship aligned because of when you were born. Uh, 0:21:50.359 --> 0:21:52.399 well mine that we ever done in your nato chopping 0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:58.520 for oh, my ship aligns with me? Or maybe you 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:00.479 alive with it because you were at it and now 0:22:00.520 --> 0:22:03.800 you started acting like what you read. No, because I 0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:06.159 don't be I can like ship. I just know some 0:22:06.240 --> 0:22:09.280 of the things that my name charts are characteristics of 0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:12.879 who I am. That's just all. So I feel like 0:22:13.240 --> 0:22:15.440 you gotta give take what you can get from the ship. 0:22:15.480 --> 0:22:20.560 But yes, I'm pulling Nigga's needle charts. And the dude 0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:23.639 you went on a date with what's his birthday? Girl? 0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:27.879 Don't get me the line that's your favorite, because I 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:33.120 don't know nothing about the nigger. I don't know what's 0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:35.520 that nigger last name? Do you do? You gotta say it? 0:22:35.520 --> 0:22:51.720 But do you know it? Said? Did you ain't interesting? Um? 0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:55.640 One of them times? No, Um, I did talk to him. 0:22:55.640 --> 0:22:59.920 We did what we talked about, um triggers and try 0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:05.840 almost on our well it was our first date, but yeah, 0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:10.320 we talked about a lot of deep things and he 0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:15.840 just got out of relationship in uh January is he 0:23:15.880 --> 0:23:17.640 actually I would have been asked, are you actually even 0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:19.880 ready for another relationship? And how long was that relationship? 0:23:19.920 --> 0:23:21.680 Because if he wasn't a five year or two years? 0:23:21.680 --> 0:23:27.399 Get ready for them? Oh uh, I don't know. I 0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:30.800 don't know either, girl to dare to here. Yeah, I've 0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:33.120 been single since two thousand and sixteen. I've been out 0:23:33.160 --> 0:23:37.520 here and that's really not that long. It's it only 0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:40.119 feels like that long because we in our thirties. You 0:23:40.119 --> 0:23:41.600 know what I'm saying. If you were single for six 0:23:41.680 --> 0:23:45.359 years in your twenties is like, hey, fun time, but 0:23:45.440 --> 0:23:47.840 it's fucking crunch time for a bit right now, bitch. 0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:51.080 You don't got no time to have commitment phobia if 0:23:51.119 --> 0:23:53.119 you really want a relationships? What I'm trying to decide? 0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:56.679 Do I really want a relationship? Because anytime somebody is 0:23:57.560 --> 0:24:00.919 seems like they could be potential, I get scared and 0:24:01.000 --> 0:24:05.240 I run. Teach me how to love, show me the 0:24:05.520 --> 0:24:09.800 way to send them my heart. Nigga, I'm so lost? 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:13.240 All right? So past relationships, how you end up in 0:24:13.240 --> 0:24:19.200 a relationship? It just happened. Um, my last relationship, I 0:24:19.240 --> 0:24:22.920 was living in Europe. I didn't have any family there. 0:24:24.080 --> 0:24:28.600 I didn't have I had friends and have you know, girlfriends. 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:35.200 I think my my last relationship happened. I was vulnerable 0:24:35.400 --> 0:24:41.520 and I kind of just what I wanted someone there. Yeah, 0:24:42.880 --> 0:24:46.720 I really did. And then I only had one boyfriend 0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:51.960 before that in my life, and both of them niggas 0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:59.320 dumped me. So so now I want to do that 0:24:59.440 --> 0:25:07.159 no more? Why the hell I will? I will fuck it. 0:25:08.119 --> 0:25:10.040 The first one dumped me, all right. Me and him 0:25:10.040 --> 0:25:14.760 were together from I was sixteen to twenty six, so 0:25:14.800 --> 0:25:17.840 we were together a long time, and he had just 0:25:18.160 --> 0:25:22.000 he moved to Atlanta. He was starting to get real money, 0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:25.639 and he just wanted to be free. You know, we 0:25:25.720 --> 0:25:28.800 have been together since we were kids, so I get it. 0:25:28.880 --> 0:25:32.040 He just wanted to experience. He hadn't had enough experiences. 0:25:32.119 --> 0:25:36.480 Neither one of us had, all right, So that's why 0:25:36.560 --> 0:25:38.960